英文名称：My Best Friend's Girl
年代：2008
推荐：千部英美剧台词本阅读
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:27] | Oh, let’s just get in there, baby. Let’s go. Hustle. Here we go. | 宝贝 我们抓紧时间进去吧 |
| [00:33] | I love angry sex. This is the best. | 我喜欢在怒火中和你亲热 那才是最爽的 |
| [00:36] | Oh, you wanna do it right here, huh? | 呃?你想在这里做? |
| [00:38] | Oh, yeah… Okay. | 嗯嗯 |
| [00:44] | Give up, already. Yeah, you know. | 我已经受够了 |
| [00:57] | I like this girl. Really do. | 我喜欢这个女生 真的喜欢 |
| [01:01] | Sometimes you just know. | 有时候你需要明白 |
| [01:10] | I’m not finished. | 我可没玩完呢 |
| [01:20] | I tried like a motherfucker to follow you up… | 我像个痴汉一样一直跟着你 |
| [01:22] | …but this door, it does a little thing with the lock when you’re inside. | 但这扇门和这把锁 却把门内外的你我分开 |
| [01:27] | Anyway, here’s what I’m thinking. We start with a blowjob. | 其实我是这么想的 要不我们从吹箫开始? |
| [01:31] | Yeah. I mean, obviously, you know? | 你显然明白我说的是什么意思吧? |
| [01:33] | And most girls find it rewarding the way I do it… | 而且大多数女生会很享受我提供的服务 |
| [01:36] | …because I turn what is normally a chore into, like, a training session. | 因为我把普通的吹箫过程转化为了一段训练哦 |
| [01:41] | It’s like my own special Head Start program. Even got Chloraseptic spray. | 这就像我个人的一步领先计划 甚至这还包含了清喉喷剂呢 |
| [01:45] | Do that really well, we move on to the nasty stuff. | 如果你这部分做的很好 我们可以进入下一步更加下流的环节 |
| [01:47] | Bring my buddies over, maybe take some “artsy” pictures, you know? | 带上我的一些兄弟来 也许拍一些很 陈冠希 的照片 |
| [01:51] | Do some artsy live streaming video. Totally tasteful. | 拍一些小视频 很有品位的 |
| [01:54] | Don’t worry, I’ll get you paid. Easy. | 别担心 你有工资可得的 |
| [01:56] | That way you could get that can opener fixed… | 用那笔钱可以修好你的 开罐器 |
| [01:58] | …lipo the back end, maybe refurbish the balcony. | 或者是装修你的 阳台 什么的 |
| [02:01] | Wait, I’m sorry. Is this a bad time? Yeah. | 等等 这是个不好时间段么? 是 |
| [02:05] | Real quick, yes to bad timing or yes, you wanna go…? | 再问一个 这个 是 回答的是 不好的时间段还是说你想和我 |
| [02:07] | Fuck you! Exactly. | 去你的 很好 |
| [02:19] | Why won’t you just die already? I accept your rebuke of my advances. | 你干嘛不去死啊? 我接受你对我行为的指责 |
| [02:23] | But for future reference, could you at least give me a reason why? | 但为了以后的参考 你至少应该告诉我一个理由吧 |
| [02:26] | How about 10? | 10怎么样? |
| [02:29] | I love angry sex. This is the best. | 我喜欢在怒火中和你亲热 那才是最爽的 |
| [02:32] | It’s gonna be great. Just… | 你会玩的很开心的 |
| [02:41] | Hey, we’re going Dutch on gas money, you know. | 我们还是平摊汽油费吧 |
| [02:44] | Is that your phone? | 你的电话在响? |
| [02:47] | Don’t you answer? I don’t know. | 不接吗? 我不知道 |
| [02:49] | Or are you more interested in me right now? | 难道说你现在对我更感兴趣? |
| [02:50] | I’m… Answer your phone. That’s my phone. | 我 接电话啊 那是我的电话在响 |
| [02:53] | Shit. Hold on one second. I got it. | 等等 我接了 |
| [02:56] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [02:57] | Hey. Yeah, I got it. I’m a knee guy. | 嘿 我知道了 我是个妻管严 |
| [02:59] | You need… Listen to me. Listen, Sarah… | 你需要 听着 Sarah |
| [03:01] | Shut the fuck up. I’m not even listen… | 给我闭嘴 我根本没有在听 |
| [03:05] | Oh, my God! Why aren’t you…? | 天啊 你就不能 |
| [03:06] | Dick! | 靠 |
| [03:08] | Listen. Sarah, are you pregnant? Oh, my God. | 听着 Sarah 你怀孕了吗? 我的天 |
| [03:11] | I’ll just be a minute. | 稍微等一会儿 |
| [03:13] | You know what, you expect me to swallow that horseshit? | 你难道要我把那玩意给吞了? |
| [03:15] | Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m predictable. Well, then fucking marry me! | 好 我的想法被你料到了 那你干脆嫁给我得了 |
| [03:19] | Didn’t see that one coming, did you? What are you doing? | 但你没预料到那一点 对吧? 你在干嘛? |
| [03:22] | How am I supposed to know it was your sister? How was I? | 我怎么可能知道那是你妹呢? |
| [03:25] | Okay, it was dark, I was drunk and I thought it was you. | 当时那么黑 我还喝醉了 我于是就以为那是你 |
| [03:29] | Oh, she’s pregnant too. Talk to her. What? No. | 哦 她也怀孕了 和她谈谈 什么?不! |
| [03:33] | Okay, you tell your sister… | 好吧 告诉你妹妹 |
| [03:34] | …that I’ll make a donation to Planned Parenthood in her honor. | 我会以她的名义给计划生育委员会捐款的 |
| [03:39] | Sarah, my ex. | Sarah 我的前女友 |
| [03:43] | Big cunt. | 老泼妇 |
| [03:55] | Rachel, I apologize. | Rachel 我向你道歉 |
| [03:56] | Sometimes when you try a new restaurant, it’s a gamble. | 有时候你去一家新的餐馆 其实那是一场赌博 |
| [03:59] | And today we lost. | 今天我们赌输了 |
| [04:05] | I’m thinking to avoid any sexual obligation, that’s you. | 我不想在性的方面承担任何责任 那是你的 |
| [04:23] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [04:24] | Everything okay? I can’t eat this. I can’t. | 有什么问题么? 我吃不了这东西 |
| [04:27] | Perhaps I can interest you in some of our fabulous Famine Fiesta Fries? | 也许你会喜欢我们神奇的 饥饿节炸薯条 |
| [04:31] | She could use a little more famine and a little less fried. | 她需要多一些 饥饿 而少吃些 薯条 |
| [04:41] | Tank Tank. | |
| [04:43] | Okay. Since you have yet to ask me anything at all… | 呃 既然你没有问关于我的任何事情 |
| [04:47] | …I just thought I should tell you a little bit about myself. | 我觉得我需要自我介绍一下 |
| [04:50] | I’m a social worker. | 我是个社会工作者 |
| [04:52] | Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Yeah? | 我知道你在想什么 是么? |
| [04:54] | It’s very… It’s challenging work… | 这个工作很有挑战的 |
| [04:56] | …but it’s so important. Whoa, whoa, there, big time. | 而且也很重要 哇 说说我吧 |
| [05:00] | I’m a customer satisfaction rep at Airmeister Air Filtration Systems. | 我是Airmeister空气过滤系统的 客户体验部负责人 |
| [05:05] | That is important work. Because without air, we cannot live. | 那工作可重要了 因为没有空气 我们就无法生存 |
| [05:09] | What can I get for you tonight? | 你想吃点什么? |
| [05:12] | Is the corned beef quesadilla, is that any good? | 那种腌制的牛肉夹馍 行不行啊? |
| [05:16] | Or what do you recommend? | 或者你推荐些 |
| [05:18] | Do you mean unspoiled? For example, if you said, “Is this milk any good?” | 行不行 ?你是指有没有变质? 假如你说 这牛奶行不行? |
| [05:22] | …your concern would not be with taste but rather your personal safety. | 那你担心就不是口味 而是你的人身安全了 |
| [05:31] | Hi, my name is Pedro O’Malley. I’ll be your server for tonight. | 我叫Pedro O’Malley 我是你们今晚的服务生 |
| [05:35] | Something to drink? | 喝点什么? |
| [05:36] | Two Baja Car Bombs on the snap. | 两份Baja Car Bomb |
| [05:40] | Okay, no, I don’t drink… | 我不喝酒的 |
| [05:41] | …but thank you. I wasn’t ordering for you. | 但谢谢你 我不是给你点的 |
| [05:46] | I gotta warn you, the stereo’s busted. That’s okay. | 我先跟你说一声哈 这个音箱是坏的 没关系 |
| [05:49] | I’ve got a little bit of a headache, so… | 我有一点头疼 |
| [05:55] | See?! | 听到没 |
| [05:57] | It’s been like this for a month! | 音箱已经坏一个月了 |
| [06:00] | I got it. | 明白了 |
| [06:09] | These are for your ears! | 这是给你塞住耳朵的 |
| [06:13] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [06:15] | You look offended by the song! | 看起来这首歌让你很不舒服 |
| [06:18] | But if you really listen, it’s not really vulgar. | 但如果你仔细听 你会发现它根本不粗俗 |
| [06:21] | It’s about a guy, he’s in love. And I know he’s saying, “Pop the pussy.” | 这首歌讲的是一个恋爱的男生 他在说 上那个婊子 |
| [06:26] | But it’s a metaphor for, like: | 但其实这是个比喻 |
| [06:29] | “I wanna hug you!” | 我想拥抱你 |
| [06:31] | Pop that pussy Hug me, hug me, hug me, hug me | 上那个婊子 抱我 抱我 抱我 |
| [06:35] | It’s not about fucking. | 这讲的不是 上那个婊子 |
| [06:38] | It’s about taking a relationship… | 而是讲把两人的关系提升到 |
| [06:40] | …to another level! | 一个更深的境界 |
| [06:43] | What? Yeah. And now we see it. | 啊? 对 现在你明白了 |
| [06:46] | So we should listen to the whole thing so you know the story. | 我们应该把整首歌给听完 你就能知道全部的故事了 |
| [06:52] | Listen, listen. | 听 |
| [06:54] | No, it’s easy, all right? She’s not even gonna make it past dinner. | 这很简单的 她甚至不可能撑不过晚饭 |
| [06:58] | By the time I’m done, she’ll know the difference between… | 到我结束的时候 她就会明白 |
| [07:01] | …what’s in the hand and what’s in the bush. | 碗里的 和 锅里的 的差别了 |
| [07:05] | Hi. | 嗨 |
| [07:07] | Yeah, we said 7:00. I know. | 我们约好七点的 我知道 |
| [07:10] | I tutor this high-school girl. | 我在辅导一个高中女生 |
| [07:14] | She’s part of my Head Start program. | 她是我启智计划的一员 |
| [07:16] | And she’s slow, learning-disabled. | 她反应慢 还有学习障碍 |
| [07:19] | It’s sad. | 很悲哀 |
| [07:22] | Every time I come, I feel like I’m wasting my time. | 我每次来都感觉是在浪费时间 |
| [07:28] | You know, not in her eyes. Actually… | 在她眼中不是这样的 实际上 |
| [07:32] | No one is doubting your memory, which is both vivid and damning. | 没人在质疑你那鲜活而强烈的记忆 |
| [07:35] | But if I could, I’d like to briefly challenge points four and seven. | 但我想简要的挑战一下第四点和第七点 |
| [07:38] | Oh, really? Because, you know what? I didn’t even get to mention… | 是吗?我甚至都不用再提 |
| [07:44] | Oh, my God. | 我滴神啊 |
| [07:46] | Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. | 求你别 |
| [07:59] | So I’ll call you later? | 那我一会儿再打给你? |
| [08:02] | And I’ll call the cops, you asshole. I had a nice time tonight. | 那我就要报警了 你这混蛋 我今晚玩的很开心 |
| [08:11] | Hello. Josh, I just went on… | 你好 Josh 我今晚经历了 |
| [08:12] | …the worst date of my life. Rachel. | 我一生中最糟糕的一次约会 Rachel |
| [08:16] | Hey, look, I’m gl… I’m so, so sorry. | 我很高兴你 我相当相当抱歉 |
| [08:19] | Why are you sorry? Baby, I was the one who… | 你不用道歉 我才是那个 |
| [08:22] | Can we maybe, you know, grab a… ? Yeah. Yeah, no, that sounds great. | 我们能找个机会 ? 好的 |
| [08:26] | Yeah. I’d really like that. | 嗯 我很喜欢那样 |
| [08:29] | Listen, I’m out with a friend right now. But can I call you? | 我现在和我的一个朋友在一起呢 我再打给你? |
| [08:32] | What about dinner tomorrow night? I’d like that. | 明晚一起去吃饭? 好啊 |
| [08:35] | Yeah, I’d like that too. All right. | 嗯 我觉得那样挺好 |
| [08:37] | I’m so glad you called. All right, bye. | 我很高兴你打电话来 嗯嗯 拜拜 |
| [08:42] | Told you. I just show them the difference… | 告诉过你的 我向她表明了 |
| [08:44] | …between what’s in the hand and what’s in the bush. | 碗里的 和 锅里的 有什么差别 |
| [08:47] | You have mastered the female psyche. | 您完全掌握了女性的心理啊 |
| [08:49] | To get them to run, I make them think that I’m shit. | 要她们躲 就让她们觉得我一无是处 |
| [08:52] | To get them to come, I make them think they’re shit. | 要他们来 就让她们觉得自己一无是处 |
| [08:54] | Either way, you’re the asshole. | 无论哪种 你都是混蛋 |
| [08:57] | It’s what I do. | 我是靠这个吃饭的 |
| [09:53] | Look at you, all white and thin. | 看看你 又白又瘦的 |
| [09:54] | I bet if I laid you on this bar, she could snort you. | 我敢打赌 如果你躺在这吧台上 她都可以把你吹走 |
| [09:58] | Listen, beauty queen. | 美女 听着 |
| [09:59] | I know people are concerned about you because you’re dangerously thin. | 我知道有些人因为你太瘦了而担心你 |
| [10:03] | But I’m not one of those people. Yet I am concerned. | 我不是那些人 但我还是担心你 |
| [10:06] | That you’ve had too many drinks… | 因为你喝太多酒了 |
| [10:08] | and your fingers are in this bowl like it’s one of your sorority sisters. | 而且玉指搭在盘里 你看起来跟联谊会里的姐妹一样 |
| [10:11] | These pretzeled devils, far from complimentary. | 那些纽结饼类东西 可不是免费的 |
| [10:14] | I mean, baby, get your head in the game. | 我的意思是 宝贝 你要倾全力投入 |
| [10:16] | Nothing tastes as good as looking good. | 没什么比如花似玉更有味道了 |
| [10:19] | That is just… Excuse me. | 那样太 打扰一下 |
| [10:21] | Are you psycho? I mean, how can you even begin to talk to…? | 你是变态啊? 你怎么能随便找个人就搭讪呢? |
| [10:24] | Easy, Urlacher. | 别紧张 Urlacher |
| [10:26] | Ever notice it’s the linebackers concerned with people not eating? | 你有没有注意到是那些后卫才会 关心那些吃得太少的人么? |
| [10:29] | If the pussy police here would stop ordering her fries tempura… | 如果那些软蛋警察不再点那些油炸tempura的话 |
| [10:32] | I just had a child. | 我刚生完孩子 |
| [10:33] | Congratulations. I’m sure he was probably delicious. | 恭喜啊 那他一定很美味可口 |
| [10:36] | Looks like you downed the whole thing. | 貌似你把整件事给搞砸了 |
| [10:38] | You’re an asshole. | 你个混蛋 |
| [10:43] | You really are an asshole. Then walk away. | 你真的是个混蛋 那你就走开啊 |
| [10:58] | Let me just go get my purse, okay? Get cigarettes. | 我去拿我的包 拿些烟来 |
| [11:04] | Let’s go. Okay. | 走吧 好 |
| [11:05] | Take me. Take me to your house. Take me right now to your house. | 带我去你家 现在带我去你家 |
| [11:09] | Hey, guy. Tank, hey. Tank, this is Renee. | 嗨 Tank 这是Renee |
| [11:12] | Yeah. Come here. Renee, Tank. | 过来 Renee 这是Tank |
| [11:14] | Hey, okay. Two seconds. Talk to me for a second. | 好吧 就等一会儿 我跟你讲两句 |
| [11:17] | Yeah, I’ll talk to you all night. All right. | 我会花整夜和你聊天的 好吧 |
| [11:19] | Didn’t I just save your ass? I just cleaned up your bed… | 我不是刚救了你吗? 我一收拾完你的残局 |
| [11:22] | …and you’re shitting in it again, okay? Aren’t you getting fucking married? | 你又想搞砸一次? 你不是要结婚了么? |
| [11:27] | I am getting married… | 我是要结婚 |
| [11:29] | …but not tonight. | 但不是今晚啊 |
| [11:32] | Renee. Renee, there she is. Josh. | Renee Renee 她在这 Josh |
| [11:35] | There she is. She’s all mine. | 她是我的 |
| [11:42] | I have to work tomorrow. | 我明天要上班诶 |
| [11:46] | Everybody’s gotta work tomorrow. It’s Tuesday. | 所有人明天都要上班 这是周二嘛 |
| [11:50] | Good one. I have a strict no-sleepover policy. | 说得好 我有一个严格的限制睡过头政策 |
| [11:56] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [12:04] | Come on, Tank, it’s almost 5. | 起来吧 Tank 都快五点了 |
| [12:08] | For some people that’s not tonight, it’s tomorrow. | 对于某些人来说那就不是今晚 是明天了 |
| [12:22] | I hate those people. | 我恨那些人 |
| [12:40] | Dustin? Yeah, five minutes is fine. Okay, bye. | Dustin?五分钟没问题 拜拜 |
| [12:45] | Dude. What the shit? I’m sorry. I’m sorry. | 什么这么吵啊? 对不起 对不起 |
| [12:48] | I told you this was happening. As of now, I’m training for the marathon. | 我告诉过你这事情的 我在为马拉松做准备呢 |
| [12:51] | Goal: Run, don’t walk. Nothing wrong with a little bit of discipline. | 目标是:跑 而不是走 有一点纪律其实没什么错的 |
| [12:56] | By the way, you should try it. | 而且你也应该试一试的 |
| [12:57] | You need discipline like I need to miss my period. | 你需要纪律就像我需要 记起来我的经期一样 |
| [13:00] | Seriously, you’re already, like… | 其实你已经像一个 |
| [13:02] | …a crazy, insane, OCD alpha-dog… | 疯狂而且有强迫症的领头狗 |
| [13:05] | …cyborg crazy creature. | 半人半机器的奇怪物种 |
| [13:07] | You mean, I have a job? | 你是指我有工作? |
| [13:09] | And now you’re gonna wake me up at 5:15 every single morning… | 你每天早上5:15都把我给叫醒 |
| [13:13] | …so that eventually you can run 26 miles in a circle. | 而最后你只是跑了一个26英里的环路罢了 |
| [13:16] | Here’s the great part. You get to go back to sleep indefinitely. Yea! | 下面是好的一面 你有可能会去睡个回笼觉了 |
| [13:21] | For the record, I am involved in a very taboo interoffice relationship. | 说明一下 我被卷入了一场 十分忌讳的办公室恋情 |
| [13:30] | Morning. Good morning. | 早 早上好 |
| [13:32] | Dustin, the bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks. | Dustin 来自贫民区的坏小子 |
| [13:36] | I’m from Lexington. | 我从Lexington来的 |
| [13:37] | Okay, bye. Bye. | 拜拜 拜拜 |
| [13:40] | See you. Yeah. | 拜拜 嗯 |
| [13:47] | That’s not the secret knock. | 那不是敲门暗号 |
| [13:52] | That’s the one. What’s going on, man? | 这才对嘛 你想干嘛? |
| [13:55] | I need to move this into your room. Tonight is the night. | 我需要把这些放你房里 今晚很关键呢 |
| [13:57] | And if all goes according to plan, consider this move permanent. | 如果一切顺利的话 这些东西就永存这里了 |
| [14:01] | “Lawrence of a Labia”? Yeah, in a moment of weakness… | Lawrence of a Labia? 呃 在我的某个脆弱时刻 |
| [14:05] | …I bought the entire EFI. The Erotic Film Institute’s top 100. Enjoy. | 我把世界百大情色电影都买了 看看吧 |
| [14:09] | Where did it go wrong? You have a serious problem. | 有什么不对吗? 你问题很严重啊 |
| [14:12] | Better than taking sexual frustrations out… | 总比去找一系列的一夜情 |
| [14:14] | …on a parade of one-night skanks I’ll never see again. | 来释放性压抑好吧 我不再看片了 |
| [14:17] | True. Good morning. | 对 早上好 |
| [14:18] | Hey, no, no, come here. This is Dusty, my roommate-slash-cousin. | 嘿 别走啊 过来 这是Dusty 我的室友兼表亲 |
| [14:22] | Not technically related. Our parents were friends until his mom walked out. | 不是血缘关系啦 他母亲出走前我们的父母都是朋友 |
| [14:26] | Slash-fuckhead for bringing up bad family shit at inappropriate times. | 他还昏了头 不分时宜地 提起了家庭里的不和谐往事 |
| [14:29] | It’s nice to meet you. | 很高兴见到你 |
| [14:30] | Nice to meet you. Fucking family. | 很高兴见到你 去他全家的 |
| [14:33] | What’s the plan? Bring this girl back here, pop open chloroform… | 有什么计划? 把姑娘带来 用麻药迷昏 |
| [14:36] | …insert Tab A into Slot B, repeat? | A轴入B孔 不断重复? |
| [14:38] | No. Tonight is the night I tell her how I feel. | 不 今晚我要告诉她我的感受 |
| [14:41] | Tank, this girl… This girl is my soul mate and it’s time she knew that. | Tank 这个女孩和我是命中注定的 是时候告诉她这一点了 |
| [14:44] | Not if you want to fuck her. | 如果你不上她的话就不算 |
| [14:47] | You, what is the nicest thing I’ve said to you since I met you? | 我自从见到你之后说的最动听的一句是什么? |
| [14:50] | You complimented me on my technique. | 你称赞了我的 技巧 |
| [14:53] | Okay, look, I’m not you, okay? | 呃 可我不是你啊 |
| [14:54] | I’m not gonna manipulate her, I’m not gonna con her. | 我不打算操纵她 我不打算欺骗她 |
| [14:58] | I’m just gonna be myself. No. | 我只想做我自己 不 |
| [15:00] | Yourself is a repressed headcase that beats more meat than Rocky Balboa. | 你自己是一个比Rocky Balboa还要 狂暴但压抑的怪人 |
| [15:03] | By hiding porn, taking her to joints you hate, | 通过私藏黄片 带她去你不喜欢的饭店 |
| [15:05] | training for a marathon.. | 为了马拉松比赛而训练 |
| [15:07] | …you’re not showing the real you. You’re showing a highlight-reel you. | 你没有展现给她真实的自己 而是一个你的精彩集锦 |
| [15:10] | Thus, in fact, you’re conning her. You don’t get it. You don’t get it. | 所以实际上你是在欺骗她 你不明白的 |
| [15:15] | I love her. Alexis… | 我爱她 Alexis |
| [15:18] | Alexis is my angel. | Alexis是我的天使 |
| [15:22] | You get it, right? | 你明白了没? |
| [15:25] | We don’t get it. We don’t. | 我们不明白 |
| [15:28] | Anyway, we can skip this “call me” scenario. | 我们可以跳过那个打电话给我的环节了 |
| [15:30] | I’m already late. Great. | 我已经迟到了 好 |
| [15:32] | I wanna know something. This chick… | 我想了解一下 这个女人 |
| [15:34] | What’s her name? Alexis. | 她叫啥来着? Alexis |
| [15:35] | If this chick Alexis means so much to you, | 如果这个叫Alexis的姑娘对你那么重要 |
| [15:37] | how come I haven’t met her yet? | 为什么我从来没见过她呢? |
| [15:38] | Because she means that much to me. | 因为她对我太重要了 |
| [15:41] | Mazel tov, man. Love. Angels. Awesome. | 恭喜你了 小伙子 爱情 天使 真棒 |
| [15:45] | What about that girl at camp who used to let you play with her boobies? | 那个在野营时让你玩她咪咪 的女生后来怎么样了? |
| [15:49] | Jackie? We were 15. She looked like a baton with titties. | Jackie 那时我们才十五岁 她看起来像一个长了咪咪的警棍 |
| [15:53] | What about Gracie, love of your life… | 那Gracie呢?你一生的最爱 |
| [15:55] | …till you caught her blowing Holstein freshman year? | 直到你发现她在大一给Holstein吹箫 |
| [15:58] | What’s your point? My point is this: Lindsay, gym crush. | 你想说明什么? 我想说的是:Lindsay 在体育馆一见钟情 |
| [16:01] | Melissa, your barista. A lot of angels, Dust. | Melissa 你的咖啡女仆 天使不少嘛 Dust |
| [16:04] | Why you gotta be such an asshole? It’s what I do, man. | 你为什么要这么混蛋呢? 我靠这个吃饭的 |
| [16:06] | Good luck. If you need them, condoms are in the medicine cabinet. | 祝你好运 如果需要的话 安全套在医药箱里 |
| [16:10] | If not, Jergens lotion, underneath my bed. | 如果没有的话 我床下有Jergens药水 |
| [16:24] | Dusty, this is absurd. | Dusty 这很荒谬 |
| [16:28] | What? You love steak, we’re eating steak. | 啊?你喜欢牛排 我们正在吃牛排 |
| [16:30] | You’re a vegan. Not tonight. Eat, eat, eat. Enjoy. | 你是个素食主义者 今晚不是 吃吧 |
| [16:35] | I feel a little guilty loving steak | 对于我爱吃牛排和你是素食主义者 |
| [16:37] | so much and you’re a vegan. | 这两件事我感到有些罪恶感 |
| [16:40] | But whatever. | 管他呢 |
| [16:43] | I love the way you eat. | 我喜欢你吃饭的样子 |
| [16:45] | I love that you eat. | 我喜欢你吃的东西 |
| [16:47] | I love that you pay. | 我喜欢你付账 |
| [16:53] | Seriously, though, I just love watching you do anything. | 说真的 我喜欢看你做任何事情的样子 |
| [16:59] | I love it… I love you, Alexis. I love you. | 我喜欢 我喜欢你 Alexis 我爱你 |
| [17:06] | Oh, shit. | 完了 |
| [17:09] | We just said more than once we’re gonna keep it light. | 我们都说过多少次了 我们之间需要保持一种轻松的关系 |
| [17:15] | We work together, we’re friends. That’s what I’m supposed to say. | 我们一起工作 我们是朋友 那正是我想说的 |
| [17:19] | Right? I mean, I’m supposed to be the relationship tough guy, you know? | 嗯?我的意思是在感情上我想做一个强者 |
| [17:23] | I’m the dude. | 我是个有主导权的男人 |
| [17:24] | The dude can’t just come out with: | 而且这个男人不能说这样的话 |
| [17:26] | “I’ve loved you since the moment I first saw you, pounding out… | 我从我看到你的第一眼开始我就喜欢上你了 |
| [17:29] | …a lender’s agreement, eating Cocoa Puffs… | 你在一家店外边吃着Cocoa Puffs |
| [17:31] | …while some pretty boy drooled over you.” | 而边上有些男生对你口水直流 |
| [17:33] | Michi Yamana. Yeah, Michi Yamana. Dick. | Michi Yamana 对 Michi Yamana 我真傻 |
| [17:38] | So I love you, madly. | 我疯狂的爱着你 |
| [17:40] | Sorry. L… I… I know I need to stop. | 对不起 我知道我应该停下来了 |
| [17:42] | Now, stop. Just stop speaking, Dustin. Just shut your mouth. | 停下来 别说了 Dustin 赶紧闭嘴呀 |
| [17:45] | I’m sorry. Wow, kamikaze, huh? See, this is what you do to me. | 对不起 有点kamikaze 看到没 这就是你对我做的 |
| [17:49] | What do I say here, but…? I’m sorry. | 我该说什么呢? 抱歉 |
| [17:52] | But do you know how hard it’s been trying to play it cool? | 但你知道想要冷静的处理这件事有多难么? |
| [17:54] | It’s been five weeks. I know. | 都过去五周了 我知道 |
| [17:56] | We haven’t even had sex. | 我们甚至还没上过床! |
| [18:01] | Well, that’s why we’re here, Alexis. I wanted to talk to you about… | 这正是我们来这里的原因 Alexis 我想和你谈谈 |
| [18:07] | I think I’m ready to take the next step. | 我觉得我已经准备好迈出下一步了 |
| [18:10] | Sex isn’t a step, Dustin. | 性不能算一步 Dustin |
| [18:13] | Being exclusive would be a step or moving in together is a step. | 保持对爱人的独占算是一步 或是同居也算是一步 |
| [18:17] | Then let’s move in together. | 那我们同居吧 |
| [18:23] | I need you to take me home. | 我需要你带我回家 |
| [18:25] | But it just felt so right. It just felt so right. | 但我觉得就应该这样呀 这感觉没错呀 |
| [18:29] | No, it does, it feels right. | 的确 这感觉没有错 |
| [18:30] | Just not right now. | 但不是现在 |
| [18:35] | “Just not right now.” | 但不是现在 |
| [18:43] | Oh, God. | 天 |
| [18:53] | God, I’m a fag. | 我可是同性恋 |
| [19:00] | Dude, you canceled Spice. It was like 21 bucks a month, dude. | 哥们 你把Spice频道给取消了 那个每月要花二十一元呢 |
| [19:06] | Someone had a rough night. | 某人过了个糟糕的夜晚呀 |
| [19:09] | I’m Mr. Right… | 我就是她的真命天子 |
| [19:11] | …just not Mr. Right Now. | 只是现在还不算 |
| [19:16] | What…? What does that even mean? What does that even mean? | 那到底是什么意思? 那是什么意思? |
| [19:19] | I told her I loved her… Oh, no. | 我告诉她我爱她 哦 不 |
| [19:22] | What? | 啊? |
| [19:24] | I went in early. No, no, I know. I went in a little early, but she… | 我知道我说的太早了 我说的太早了 可是她 |
| [19:30] | Thanks for your support. Sweet. Dustin. | 谢谢你的大力支持 Dustin |
| [19:35] | Dusty, look. | Dusty 听着 |
| [19:38] | This too shall pass, all right? | 这一切都会过去的 对吧? |
| [19:41] | But that journey begins… | 但这个旅程是以 |
| [19:44] | …with self-exploration. | 自我探索为开端的 |
| [19:46] | And I’m holding the map, Dusty. | 而我手里拿着地图哦 Dusty |
| [19:48] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [19:51] | Kid, I got your ‘bate crate. | 小子 我给你拿来宝箱了 |
| [19:53] | You know how much you love your ‘bate crate. | 你知道你多么喜欢这个宝箱的 |
| [19:56] | “I’m like comfort food for your penis.” | 我就像给你老二的可口食物 |
| [20:01] | What do I do? Okay. | 我该怎么办? 嗯 |
| [20:03] | What do you do? Okay, let’s look at the options. | 你能怎么办? 我们先看看可选的方案吧 |
| [20:06] | Stalk her. But you’re never gonna be with her. Love her from a distance. | 尾随她 但你永远不可能和她一起 只能隔着一段距离 |
| [20:10] | Never have a family but you could love her kids from a distance. | 你不可能和她组建一个家庭 但你可以远远的爱她的小孩 |
| [20:13] | Murder-suicide, but that’s trending upward. | 先杀她 再自杀 这种行为有回暖的趋势 |
| [20:15] | Or I could just hire you. No. | 或者我可以雇你 不行 |
| [20:19] | Why not? I don’t fuck with family. | 为啥? 我不牵扯进家里人 |
| [20:21] | Well, technically we’re not blood-related. Right? | 呃 实际上我们也不是血亲嘛? |
| [20:25] | Go to bed, Dust. | 睡觉去 Dust |
| [20:27] | You’re serious. Okay. | 你认真了 |
| [20:30] | I’ll get serious. | 我会认真起来的 |
| [20:32] | If I do this… | 如果我做这个 |
| [20:37] | If I do this, | 如果我做这个 |
| [20:37] | I’m gonna make it the finest Tank-ing of my career. | 我会把这次任务 做成我职业生涯中最完美的一次 |
| [20:41] | My fucking masterpiece. | 我的杰作 |
| [20:42] | She’ll lose her shit like a shit collector with amnesia. | 她会因为我而魂不守舍的 |
| [20:45] | I’m talking about a Turkish twist, epic mindfuck of a Tank-ing, okay? | 我所说的是我的高超技术 |
| [20:49] | Her brain’ll be rocking back and forth in the shower for like three weeks. | 在大约三周的时间里 她的头脑 会因为我而乱的不可开交 |
| [20:54] | Okay? I’m talking about demonic fucking Tank. | 这就是我所说的恶魔般的Tank |
| [20:57] | I’ll be flying up into the sky. | 我会飞在空中 |
| [20:59] | She’s gonna cry tears that form “Call Dusty” on the ground. | 而她哭出的眼泪落在地上会 形成 给Dusty打电话 这几个字 |
| [21:03] | Yes? Am I doing it? Tell me I’m doing it. | 嗯?我要做这个吗? 告诉我我要做这个 |
| [21:08] | Okay, that was weird. And I’m not sure that… | 呃 有点怪怪的 而且我还不确定 |
| [21:11] | Listen, rain check, maybe though. | 听着 就先这么办吧 尽管 |
| [21:14] | Wow, can’t believe I almost resorted to emotional terrorism. I’m sorry. | 我不敢相信我几乎就要采用感情上的恐怖主义了 |
| [21:18] | You’re sweet. Next time with the next one, maybe. | 你真好 也许下次我追别人的时候再找你吧 |
| [21:20] | Thank you. I’m here. | 谢了 我一直都在这 |
| [21:24] | A little crazy. Sweet, crazy mostly. | 有点疯狂 有些甜蜜 但还是相当疯狂 |
| [21:31] | Don’t say a word. | 啥也别说 |
| [21:56] | God! Son of… | 他妈的 |
| [21:58] | Why? That stupid… | 这到底是为什么 |
| [22:06] | Hi. Tank Turner, Customer Satisfaction. | 你好 Tank Turner 用户服务部 |
| [22:08] | How may I help you today? | 需要我帮忙吗? |
| [22:10] | Excuse me, do you have any idea how long I was just on hold? | 你知道我等了多久吗? |
| [22:13] | It’s been like an hour and a half. | 大概是一个半小时呢 |
| [22:15] | Hello. In your manual… | 你好 在你们的说明书里 |
| [22:17] | …you’ve expressed a possibility of some odor issues. | 你们说有可能会有一些异味的排出 |
| [22:20] | “Faint aroma,” it says here on page 7. Come on. “Faint aroma”? Bullshit. | 第七页有写 轻微的香味 扯 哪里香了? |
| [22:25] | It smells like burnt fucking hair, dude. | 味道和烧着的头发一样 |
| [22:27] | Because apparently I paid 49.90-motherfucking5… | 我花了49 9美元就为了 |
| [22:32] | …so that my sweet-ass condo smells like some Korean cat barbecue. | 使我的公寓闻起来像个韩国猫肉烧烤店? |
| [22:37] | Touchdown. You lose. You lose. | 得分 你输了 你输了 |
| [22:39] | You suck. | 你真恶心 |
| [22:41] | Sir, I will gladly give you a refund, but that’s not gonna solve your problem. | 先生 我当然想给你退款 可这解决不了您的问题呀 |
| [22:46] | New girl. | 新来的女生 |
| [22:51] | New girl | 新来的女生 |
| [22:53] | Ooh, new girl | 喔 新来的女生 |
| [22:57] | Did the emotional terrorist win? | 感情恐怖主义赢了没? |
| [22:59] | I just… You know, it’s funny. I never noticed your highlights… | 我只是 这很搞笑耶 我一直没注意到你的亮点 |
| [23:02] | …until somebody actually said something. | 直到有人说了些什么 |
| [23:05] | They’re actually really good. | 他们实际上挺好的 |
| [23:06] | Just tell me how it works. Let me make this clear. | 告诉我你准备怎么做? 你给我搞清楚 |
| [23:09] | Before she can love you, she has to hate me. | 在她爱你之前 她必须恨我 |
| [23:12] | But before she can hate me, she has to like me. | 但在她恨我之前 她必须先喜欢我 |
| [23:15] | That may be the hardest part of the equation. | 这也许是整个过程最难的部分 |
| [23:18] | So I set up the meet-cute. | 所以我设计了这个偶遇场景 |
| [23:19] | In every movie, the stars meet in some cutesy way. | 在每一部电影里 明星们都是以讨巧的方式相遇的 |
| [23:21] | Since every woman is looking for that dreamy, witty, goofy guy… | 因为每个看多了情景喜剧的女人 |
| [23:25] | …of their sitcom, rom-com fantasies, I’ve gotta be that thing. | 都想找到那种聪明睿智的梦中情人 我就要成为那种人 |
| [23:28] | Here. | 拿着 |
| [23:30] | Lucky slap on the ass. Hit it. | 给我的屁屁幸运的一掌吧 |
| [24:08] | Are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [24:13] | That was rough. I’m Alexis. | 这摔的不轻啊 我是Alexis |
| [24:26] | Wow, that looked really real. | 这个看上去挺真实的 |
| [24:28] | Is that real? It’s real and it hurts. | 这是真的吗? 是真的而且还很痛 |
| [24:31] | Okay. So, like, what happens now? You come back every day… | 那现在该怎么做? 你每天都来这里 |
| [24:34] | …for a couple weeks. Slowly, eventually you build her trust. | 一连几个星期 慢慢的 最终和她建立信任? |
| [24:37] | Daddy bee’s got the honey. That’s her number. | 我拿到我想要的了 她的电话号码 |
| [24:40] | Let’s go eat. How…? How did…? | 走 吃饭去 你怎么办到的? |
| [24:43] | Now, remember, she’s classy. So maybe a fast-food joint. | 记住 她很高雅的 也许可以选一个快餐连锁店 |
| [24:46] | Or wait, wait, drive-through. | 等等 或者是个汽车餐厅 |
| [24:48] | Do I tell you what flavor of jam to eat out of your boss’s ass? | 我需要告诉你这些细节吗? |
| [24:51] | No. Dusty, it’s what I do, okay? You want offensive locales? | 不 Dusty 我是靠这个吃饭的 如果你想找个够彪悍的地点 |
| [24:55] | There’s a place in Revere, they let you boil your own dolphin. | 在Revere有一家店 你可以在那里烤自己带去的海豚 |
| [24:58] | Arlington, you can have a dominatrix waitress… | 在Arlington 那里有很主动的女服务生 |
| [25:00] | …take a dump on your lap while she peppers your Cobb salad. | 她会骑在你的大腿上 给你的Cobb沙拉加胡椒粉 |
| [25:03] | I know a spot in P-town, you can get a meat loaf shaped like a cock. | Ptown有个地方 那里的肉面包长得很像老二的形状 |
| [25:07] | You gotta trust me. She’s not gonna know what hit her. | 你需要相信我 她不明白她将会遇到什么的 |
| [25:12] | All right. Good luck. | 好吧 祝你好运 |
| [25:19] | Do not wear that, please. What am I doing? | 求求你 别穿那个了 我在做什么? |
| [25:21] | Just take this. This is what you’re doing. | 拿着 这就是你在做的事情 |
| [25:24] | Clean the pipes. It’s mandatory to flush them out after a relationship. | 清洁管道 把它们冲走 这是在一段关系结束之后必做的事情 |
| [25:27] | That’s disgusting. But seriously, what’s wrong with me? | 真恶心 但我到底是怎么了? |
| [25:30] | Dustin’s a good guy. | Dustin是个好人 |
| [25:32] | You’re such a fucking girl sometimes. Pretty good guy. | 你有时候真是长不大 他真是个好人 |
| [25:35] | A good guy? Who cares? | 好人?谁管呀? |
| [25:36] | A good guy is, like, somebody that your parents dig or… | 好人 好人都是你父母那一辈的 |
| [25:40] | Listen to me. In the real world… Ami. I’m listening. | 听着 在现实世界里 Ami 我听着呢 |
| [25:44] | In the real world… Yes. | 在现实世界里 昂? |
| [25:47] | What if he’s a good man with a good heart… | 如果他是个有好心肠的好人 |
| [25:50] | …and he’s smart? And if he’s not too rough on the eyes…? | 如果他还聪明 并且看起来不粗暴 |
| [25:54] | If “ifs” and “buts” were cocks and nuts, I’d be getting gangbanged right now. | 如果这些 如果 和 并且 是老二的话 我现在已经被轮奸了 |
| [25:58] | Seriously. But it’s that I wanna teach you something that took me, like… | 听好了 我准备教你些东西 |
| [26:02] | …years and years of promiscuity to learn, okay? | 这些可是我花了几年时间乱交才学会的 |
| [26:04] | What is this outfit? It’s aweso… | 这外衣是 很好 |
| [26:06] | Hey, how many guys have you slept with? | 你到底睡过多少个男人? |
| [26:08] | Like, total? Three, right? Two. | 一共?三个吧 两个 |
| [26:13] | Two? I’m a serial monogamist. | 两个? 我可是坚持一夫一妻的 |
| [26:15] | Well, okay. That’s, like, the first big, huge problem right there. | 呃 就像是这里的第一个大问题 |
| [26:20] | Didn’t anybody ever tell you that you have to suck a few frogs… | 难道没人告诉过你 得 干 很多青蛙 |
| [26:23] | …before you get to suck a prince? | 才能 干 到王子 |
| [26:26] | I believe it’s “kiss.” | 不是 干 是 吻 好吧 |
| [26:28] | Pretend it’s a year abroad, you know? | 也可以假装你在国外待了一年 |
| [26:30] | But instead of going to Europe, you’re gonna bang a whole shitload of dudes. | 但和去欧洲不同的是 你可以去干一堆男人 |
| [26:35] | It’s awesome. I haven’t been drunk in a long time. | 那多好 我好久没有喝醉酒了 |
| [26:38] | Good. You need it. You need it. | 好 你需要的 你需要的 |
| [26:40] | Now tell me something. What do you see in this box? | 现在告诉我 你在这个盒子里看到了什么? |
| [26:45] | I see into the… No, in the box. | 我看见了 不 看盒子里 |
| [26:49] | An inordinate amount of masturbatory aides… | 大量的自慰器 |
| [26:52] | …which some, I pray, are novelty-sized. | 而且有的尺寸还相当巨大 |
| [26:57] | Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [27:00] | Okay, that will do nicely. | 嗯 这样不错 |
| [27:03] | You, show her a good time tonight. I love you. | 你 带着她好好玩一场哦 我爱你 |
| [27:06] | Show her a good time. I love you. | 好好玩一晚哦 我爱你 |
| [27:08] | Such a good time. Love you. Have a great night. | 好好去玩 玩的开心 |
| [27:10] | Don’t be scared without me. | 别因为我不在而吓坏了 |
| [27:12] | I’ll be back. I’ll be back. Yeah. I’ll be waiting… | 我会回来的 嗯 我会等你的 |
| [27:15] | She’s my roommate. I bet she gives great head. | 她是我的室友 我敢打赌她挺不错的 |
| [27:18] | Actually, I’m sure she does. | 实际上我也这么觉得 |
| [27:21] | You’re pretty drunk. | 你喝的真醉 |
| [27:22] | I’m pretty ready to rock. | 我已经准备好去爽一把了 |
| [27:27] | Oh, boy. | 天啊 |
| [27:29] | Tank, is this a Mustang? | Tank 这是Mustang吗? |
| [27:32] | It’s a GTO. | 这是GTO |
| [27:34] | A… Whatever that means. Yeah. | 管它是什么呢? 嗯 |
| [27:40] | Well, listen, I just wanna warn you, my stereo’s busted. | 听着 我先告诉你这个音箱是坏的 |
| [27:43] | Oh, that’s cool. That’s cool. | 没关系的 没关系 |
| [27:50] | Hey, this is my… I almost lost my virginity to this song. | 我当年差点就把我的处女之身给了这首歌 |
| [28:07] | Let’s go. Yeah, let’s go. | 走吧 好 我们走 |
| [28:12] | This is a first, Tank. Yeah, me too. | 我第一次来这里 Tank 我也是 |
| [28:15] | Should we sit front row and center? | 我们应该坐在中间的头排吗? |
| [28:20] | Oh, wild. | 真狂野 |
| [28:24] | Yeah, can we get two Long Island Iced Teas? | 我要两份长岛冰茶 |
| [28:26] | And put the chop-chop on that, lady. | 上面再加一些chopchop |
| [28:28] | Could you make mine a double? And two shots of tequila, please. | 我要一个双份的 外加两杯龙舌兰 |
| [28:38] | Okay, let’s slow down, princess. | 公主 我们慢一些吧 |
| [28:39] | You’re getting sloshed like it’s your prom night here. | 你会喝醉的 就好像这是你参加的舞会一样 |
| [28:43] | I never went to prom. I never went. No shock there. I believe that. | 我从来没去过舞会 这不奇怪 我相信 |
| [28:47] | I had the date, I had the dress. | 我也约会过 我也穿的很正式 |
| [28:49] | But prom was the night my dog bit my sister in the neck… | 但在舞会那晚我妹妹的脖子被狗咬了 |
| [28:52] | …and we had to put him down. Shit. | 我们只好把那狗给干掉 真遗憾 |
| [28:54] | And I will never… Oh, my goodness. | 我再也不 |
| [28:56] | Ever forget the horror in little Fraggle’s eyes… | 不会忘记可怜的Fraggle的眼神 |
| [28:59] | …as his paw went limp in my hand. | 还有它放在我手里的断肢 |
| [29:02] | It was horrible. Blood. It was just, like: | 很可怕 很血腥 |
| [29:05] | I’m sure that’s not the only thing that’s gone limp in your hand. | 我保证那不会是你手里唯一的断肢 |
| [29:09] | I will say it. In all sincerity, that sucks hard. | 我必须承认 这样很不爽的 |
| [29:12] | It’s sad to lose a pet. | 失去宠物是很伤心的一件事 |
| [29:14] | Where do they learn how to do this? | 她们在哪学的这些本事啊? |
| [29:16] | Well, I taught them a few things. I wanna know. | 我教过她们不少东西 我想知道 |
| [29:23] | That’s incredible. | 太精彩了 |
| [29:27] | What is that? | 那是什么 |
| [29:29] | What is that? I think we should just fuck tonight. | 那是什么? 我们今晚干一次吧? |
| [29:47] | That looks pretty. | 真漂亮 |
| [29:50] | I’m gonna go pee. Got it. | 我要去洗手间 明白 |
| [29:55] | Hey, I can’t talk. | 我不方便讲话 |
| [29:56] | Where are you? I’m out, I’m seeing a band. | 你在哪? 我在外面 摇滚演唱会呢 |
| [29:59] | They suck, but I’m seeing them so I really can’t talk. | 他们很锉 但我还在听 所以我现在没法说话 |
| [30:02] | Put your “Guitar Hero” down. What the fuck are you talking about? | 把你的吉他英雄给关了 你到底在说什么? |
| [30:05] | I’m not playing “Guitar Hero.” It’s Saturday night. I’m out. | 我没有在玩吉他英雄 这是周六晚上 我在外面呢 |
| [30:09] | Just put it down. We have problems. | 你把它给关了 我遇到问题了 |
| [30:11] | All right. What’s the story? | 好吧 到底是怎么回事? |
| [30:13] | I am drunk and he’s either the biggest asshole in America… | 我喝醉了 他要么是美国最混蛋的人 |
| [30:17] | …or trying to convince me he’s the biggest asshole in America. | 要么他想让我相信 他是美国最混蛋的人 |
| [30:21] | Either way, even a broken clock is right twice a day, but this guy… | 无论如何 就算是个破钟一天还能两次准时呢 而他 |
| [30:25] | Come on. How better to appreciate Dustin than to do this? | 难道你就要因为这个而转投Dustin的怀抱了? |
| [30:28] | Than to bang this guy, who’s obviously far inferior… | 那就干这个远不如的Dustin的人吧 |
| [30:30] | …but probably hung like Seabiscuit. Right? | 他也许还有可取之处的吧 |
| [30:33] | Now go. Go and bang. Bang like you have never “bung” before. | 去吧 去上他 就像你从来没有上任何人过一样 |
| [30:37] | And do it for Dustin. | 这是为Dustin而做的 |
| [30:42] | Jesus. | 天 |
| [30:44] | Baby doll… Hi. | 美女 Hi |
| [30:46] | Hi. I’m Alexis. | Hi 我是Alexis |
| [30:48] | Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. | 很高兴见到你 很高兴见到你 |
| [30:50] | And when it comes to love, there’s only one thing you can trust. | 关于爱情 你只能信任一件事 |
| [30:53] | It’s not your friends, it’s not your head. | 不是你的朋友 不是你的脑子 |
| [30:57] | It’s that little voice inside your clamburger. | 而是你的欲望深处的呼唤 |
| [31:04] | “Listen to me.” | 听我的 |
| [31:15] | Watch this. It’s a game. It’s called “Who’s at the Door?” | 看这个 这是个游戏 名叫 门外是谁? |
| [31:18] | And I look out the peephole. | 我透过窥孔看门外 |
| [31:20] | It’s the mailman. | 是个邮差哦 |
| [31:26] | Would it hurt you to play with her tits? Help me out. | 你就不能来玩玩她的胸? 来帮帮我 |
| [31:32] | You can stay there. That’s good. | 你可以呆在这 挺不错的 |
| [31:33] | Oh, you grab that. I’ll get the next one. | 这个给你 我去找另一个 |
| [31:36] | There won’t be a next time. Lucky me. | 没有下一个了 我真幸运 |
| [31:45] | And our motto, basically, is, “Without air, we…” | 我们的口号是 没有空气 我们 |
| [31:49] | “Without air, we cannot live.” | 没有空气 我们无法生存 |
| [31:52] | Stop. Right. | 停 好 |
| [31:53] | I get it. You’re a dick. | 我明白了 你就是个混蛋 |
| [31:56] | I’m sufficiently offended. | 我受够你了 |
| [31:58] | Done. | 结束了 |
| [32:23] | Coming up? | 你上来不? |
| [32:38] | Suit yourself. | 你自便吧 |
| [32:42] | Enjoy the long ride home. | 你自己开车回去吧 |
| [32:53] | I’m going home, okay? | 那我回去了 |
| [32:54] | Why am I going home? Because I’m going home. | 我为什么要回家 因为我要回家 |
| [32:56] | I’m getting in the car. Eyes in the game and the head in the ball. | 我在车上 眼睛盯着比赛 脑子想着篮球 |
| [33:01] | Can’t do it. | 办不到啊 |
| [33:03] | Just start the car. Just start the car, baby. | 开车吧 开车吧 宝贝 |
| [33:06] | Just gotta start the car, get the fuck out of here. | 发动引擎 离开这里 |
| [33:08] | Why? Because, look. Your head’s in the game, your balls are attached… | 为什么 因为你想着比赛 全力出发 |
| [33:12] | …and you’re gonna go home and maybe she’ll call you ma? Ana. | 你回家后她会给你打电话 |
| [33:16] | Why would she call me? She’ll call Dusty. | 她干嘛要打给我 她会打给Dusty的 |
| [33:18] | Because she’s what? Dusty’s girlfriend. Follow the bouncing ball. | 因为她是Dusty的女朋友 跟着这个跳球 |
| [33:21] | She is Dusty’s girlfriend. | 她是Dusty的女朋友 |
| [33:25] | Listen to me. | 听着 |
| [33:30] | What is wrong with you, asshole? | 混蛋 你哪里又出问题了? |
| [33:47] | You asked me to trust you. | 你让我信任你 |
| [33:54] | And I trusted you. Done. | 而我信任了你 搞定了 |
| [33:57] | Somehow. | 然而 |
| [33:58] | Some way. | 然而 |
| [34:02] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [34:09] | Dude, you did it. She just called. | 老兄 你搞定了 她刚打来电话 |
| [34:11] | Okay, quote, “I just had the worst night of my life.” | 引用 这是我人生中最糟糕的一个夜晚 |
| [34:14] | “I just had the worst night of my life.” You did it, man. | 这是我人生中最糟糕的一个夜晚 你做到了 |
| [34:16] | We’re having lunch tomorrow. | 我们每天一起去吃午饭 |
| [34:18] | Tank, we’re having lunch. Can you believe it? | Tank 我们明天去吃午饭 你相信吗? |
| [34:20] | Dude, when it comes to being an asshole, you are a genius. | 老乡 在当混蛋这方面你做的太棒了 |
| [34:23] | Genius. | 你在这方面真是天才 |
| [34:28] | Anything for a friend. | 为了朋友两肋插刀 |
| [34:32] | So about the other night. | 关于那晚 |
| [34:35] | Okay, I was stupid. I was stupid. | 嗯 我很蠢 我很蠢 |
| [34:37] | It’s just… I’ve never gone this far with a girl, emotionally. | 因为我从来没有和一个女生走到那种程度 我指情感方面 |
| [34:41] | And I just lost it. Slow down. Slow down. | 我刚失去了 慢点 慢点 |
| [34:43] | I was stupid and harsh… | 我太蠢了 还不尽人情 |
| [34:46] | …and I’m sorry. | 我很抱歉 |
| [34:47] | Last night I went out with a real asshole. Horrible. | 昨晚我碰上了一个真正的混蛋 太混了 |
| [34:51] | It just made me realize that guys like you are so rare. | 这让我意识到像你这样的好人是很少的 |
| [34:56] | But it also made me realize how few guys I’ve dated. | 这同时也让我意识到 |
| [34:58] | How few guys I’ve actually gone out with. | 我约会过的人太少了 |
| [35:00] | Like, none. I need to date and you need to date… | 几乎没有 你我都需要多出去 |
| [35:03] | …other people. I’m just saying that… | 和别人约会 |
| [35:06] | What I’m trying to say is that I wanna start over as friends first. | 我想说的是 我们最好从朋友开始再来一遍 |
| [35:11] | Like, be friends. | 做好朋友 |
| [35:13] | I like you as my friend. | 作为朋友 我很喜欢你 |
| [35:23] | Start over… | 重头再来 |
| [35:25] | …as friends first. Friends. | 从朋友做起 朋友 |
| [35:27] | Like Harry and Sally. | 就像Harry和Sally |
| [35:32] | I think the point of that movie was that men and women can’t just be friends. | 我觉得那部电影说明的是 男人和女人不可能只做朋友的 |
| [35:36] | No, no, no, they can be just friends… | 不不不 他们可以只做朋友的 |
| [35:39] | …even date other people, as long as they end up together… | 即使我们和其他人约会 只要最后在一起 |
| [35:42] | …in the end. As long as they end up together, right? | 在最后 只要他们能在一起 对吧? |
| [35:45] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [35:47] | This is fun. You know, I’m gonna go because my sister is getting married. | 这很好玩 因为我妹妹要结婚了 我得离开了 |
| [35:52] | It’s an on-again, off-again, on-again thing. | 分了又和 和了又分的 |
| [35:55] | She’s freaking out, treating me like her assistant so I’m running all over. | 她失控了 把我当作她的助理 所以我得过去帮忙 |
| [35:58] | I’m really glad we had this talk, you know? | 我很高兴我们能有这次谈话 |
| [36:04] | Dude. You check out that sandwich they got downstairs? | 你有没有看楼下的那些三明治? |
| [36:06] | Bread is, like, two slices of freaking pizza, man. | 面包就像两片皮萨一样 我的天 |
| [36:09] | Only in America. Fuck me. | 只是在美国会这样 我受不了了 |
| [36:10] | Clean air probably shouldn’t stink like flaming ass nougat. | 干净的空气不应该像 烧着的奶油糖一样难闻啊 |
| [36:14] | I got a real fucking tough guy over here. | 我这边有个难缠的家伙 |
| [36:16] | I got a guy on the verge of a five-state killing spree. Do you wanna…? | 我这边的这个都快要杀人了 你想 |
| [36:20] | Ready? Three, two, one. | 真的?3 2 1 |
| [36:22] | Let me transfer you to my supervisor. Let me transfer you to my supervisor. | 让我给你转接我的上级 让我给你转接我的上级 |
| [36:25] | Make me proud. Kill it. | 让我骄傲哦 明白 |
| [36:28] | Hi, this is Supervisor Eugene Lenay. | 这里是负责人Eugene Lenay |
| [36:30] | How may I help you? How may I help you? | 您有什么问题? 您有什么问题? |
| [36:34] | Please hold. Please hold. | 请等一下 请等一下 |
| [36:38] | Treat her like a bowling ball. | 像保龄球一样的对待她 |
| [36:41] | Strike. | 全中 |
| [36:42] | Dust, hold on one second, all right? | Dust 稍等一下 |
| [36:44] | Sir, I looked into the problem and it’ll actually fix itself. | 先生 我检查了你的问题 它能自己把自己给修好 |
| [36:47] | What’s up, kid? You failed, Tank. | 小子 怎么了 你搞砸了 Tank |
| [36:49] | She wants to see other people. | 她想去见其他人 |
| [36:51] | She said she wants to see other people? | 她说了她想去见其他人? |
| [36:53] | She did. That’s why you’re gonna take her out again. | 没错 所以你要再把她约出来一次 |
| [36:56] | Except this time, you’re gonna get seriously diabolical. | 除了这次 你要表现的像个恶魔一样 |
| [36:59] | I’m talking public defecation. | 你要做一些极端的行为 比如在公共场所大便 |
| [37:01] | Dust, you’re freaking me out here, okay? Tank-ing is a subtle art. | Dust 你把我吓坏了 我的工作是一门微妙的艺术 |
| [37:05] | You can’t go in there crazy like a dragon with a hemorrhoid. | 你不能像一个长了痔疮的恶龙一样冲进去 |
| [37:08] | Besides, what makes you think she’d ever wanna speak to me again? | 而且 你凭什么认为她还想和我说话? |
| [37:12] | Don’t worry, I’m taking care of that. | 别担心 我能搞定 |
| [37:14] | No, you’re not. You do… Dust. | 别 你不能 Dust |
| [37:17] | Don’t do anything, okay? Listen. | 什么也别做 听着 |
| [37:20] | I have to teach a training seminar 10 minutes ago. Dusty? | 我十分钟前就该开始一场训练讲座了 Dusty? |
| [37:25] | All right. | 好 |
| [37:28] | You’re late, Tank. I know. | 你迟到了 Tank 明白 |
| [37:31] | You’re Tank, right? Are you a cop? | 你是Tank 没错吧 你是警察? |
| [37:33] | No, Roger’s friend Sonny said you fix things. | 不Roger的朋友Sonny说你能搞定些问题 |
| [37:36] | Walk with me. | 和我一起走 |
| [37:37] | You’re late. Thank you. | 你迟到了 谢谢 |
| [37:39] | I’m going crazy without her. Shit-in-the-bed-and-roll-around crazy. | 没有她我会疯掉的 我对她是那种屎尿横飞的疯狂 |
| [37:42] | You’re late. Shut up. | 你迟到了 闭嘴 |
| [37:43] | Okay, religious girl. How do I bump into her? | 好 有宗教信仰的女人 我应该怎么去靠近她? |
| [37:46] | You’re late. No shit. | 你迟到了 不 |
| [37:47] | She’s a high-school English teacher. | 她是个高中英语老师 |
| [37:49] | Guy can’t really hang around a high school these days, unfortunately. | 不幸的是 这年头男人不能再去高中老师身边晃荡了 |
| [37:52] | She gets her hair done Tuesdays. Love it. | 她周二去理发 好 |
| [37:55] | What’d you do? Foot in your mouth? | 你干过什么?把脚放到别人的嘴里? |
| [37:56] | Foot-long in somebody’s mouth? Facts. | 把脚放到自己的嘴里?我需要事实 |
| [37:58] | Let’s say you’re gonna have to be a real asshole to make me look good. | 如果要让我显得好看 你必须当一个彻彻底底的大混蛋才行 |
| [38:02] | It’s what I do. | 我靠那个吃饭的 |
| [38:04] | You’re late. Yes. | 你迟到了 嗯 |
| [38:06] | Everybody, you’re late. Don’t let it happen again. | 大家好 你们来晚了 下次别这样哈 |
| [38:08] | I’m Tank and I will be brief. | 我是Tank 我将做一个简报 |
| [38:10] | Here at Airmeister we have two rules. | 在Airmeister我们有两条规则 |
| [38:12] | No refunds. | 不退款 |
| [38:15] | The beauty of an air purifier is that nobody can prove that it doesn’t work. | 空气过滤器的美妙之处在于没人可以证明它不好用 |
| [38:19] | Amanda, you saucy tart. I want somebody really pissed off. | Amanda 我的小甜心 我想找个非常暴怒的人 |
| [38:22] | I’m talking about DEFCON 2 level of anger. | 我讲的可是DEFCON 2的愤怒级别 |
| [38:25] | Who do you got for me, baby? | 你给我准备了一个怎样的人呢? |
| [38:26] | I have just the one for you. She’s furious and asked for you by name. | 这里就有一个 她很生气 点名说要找你 |
| [38:31] | Put her through. | 接通电话 |
| [38:35] | Tank Turner, Customer Satisfaction. How may I help you? | Tank Turner 用户满意部 怎样为您效劳? |
| [38:39] | Before we even discuss what I received… | 在我们讨论我收到的 |
| [38:41] | …which is a whole other mystery… | 又是一个完全的谜团 |
| [38:43] | …I demand an explanation for yesterday. | 我需要你对昨天的事件做的解释 |
| [38:45] | Ma’am, I’m fully concerned. What happened yesterday? | 女士 我很关心你的情况 昨天发生什么了? |
| [38:48] | Are you gay? Or are you just an asshole? | 你是同性恋? 或者你是个混蛋? |
| [38:50] | Oh, ma’am. Profanity is superfluous because no verbal affront… | 女士 漫骂完全是多余的 |
| [38:55] | …could be as devastating to me as your dissatisfaction. | 因为没有任何谩骂能比 您的不满让我更伤心 |
| [38:59] | Dissatisfaction? | 不满? |
| [39:00] | Yes, I mean if the unit’s performance or lack thereof has left you frustrated… | 嗯 如果这个产品的表现让您很沮丧的话 |
| [39:05] | See, I never saw your unit. I gave you a chance and you didn’t deliver. | 我从没见过你的产品 我给了你机会 你却没有把握住 |
| [39:08] | Ma’am, you’re upset. | 女士 你很烦恼 |
| [39:10] | I’m upset. I’m upset that you will never, ever know what it’s like… | 我也烦恼 我烦恼的是你永远都不会知道那种感觉 |
| [39:14] | …to sit on a hot, sweaty summer night… | 在一个湿热的夏夜 |
| [39:19] | …and let that unit blow its glorious bounty all over your face. | 让我们的产品把那种美妙的感觉吹到你脸上 |
| [39:23] | You think after the shit you put me through… | 你觉得在你让我经历那些鬼事之后 |
| [39:26] | …that I called just so you could talk dirty to me? | 我再打电话给你只是为了让你羞辱我? |
| [39:30] | I gave you a one-time free hall pass for sex. | 我给了你一个免费的性爱通行证 |
| [39:32] | Good sex. Hot sex. | 火辣的性爱 |
| [39:34] | L… I… I fucking roofied myself. | 我把自己给玩了 |
| [39:39] | I’m a little confused. Amanda? | 我现在有些迷茫 Amanda? |
| [39:41] | You’re confused? That makes two of us… | 你迷茫了? 那就使我们俩 |
| [39:43] | …because I don’t know what kind of asshole acts like an asshole… | 因为我不知道有哪种混蛋自己装作是混蛋 |
| [39:46] | …and then when it actually comes time to be an asshole, walks away. | 而当真正需要他当混蛋的时候他却走人了 |
| [39:50] | Like a total asshole. | 像一个大混蛋 |
| [39:52] | Making me look like an even bigger asshole… | 而使我觉得自己是更大的混蛋 |
| [39:55] | …for offering some big-ass asshole asshole-sex in the first place. | 因为我主动给你这混蛋提供了 他妈的性爱通行证 |
| [40:01] | What kind of asshole are you? | 你到底是哪一种混蛋? |
| [40:05] | This is actually a personal call. | 这是个私人电话 |
| [40:08] | Dude, you are so hired. | 老兄 我雇定你了 |
| [40:10] | Excuse me for a second. | 打扰一下 |
| [40:12] | Shit. | 靠 |
| [40:14] | Asshole. | 混蛋 |
| [40:30] | Sorry. Offer expired. | 抱歉 我给你的许诺已经过期了 |
| [40:39] | Did you really think roses and a poem would give you a second chance? | 你还真以为一朵玫瑰一首诗歌 就能给你赢来第二次机会? |
| [40:44] | You rhymed “apology” with “apologetically.” | 你来道歉也要有个道歉的样子 |
| [40:46] | I’m… I just felt bad, okay? | 我 我感觉很不好 |
| [40:49] | You’re right, I do owe you an explanation. | 你说的没错 我欠你一个解释 |
| [40:51] | I didn’t sleep with you because you’re not attractive. | 我没有和你上床是因为你没有吸引力 |
| [40:54] | There, I said it. Oh, thanks. | 这可是我说的 那谢了 |
| [40:55] | Thank you so much because you saved me… | 非常感谢你把我从一个 |
| [40:57] | …from what could’ve been the worst decision of my life. | 非常可能是我人生中最错误的决定中拯救过来 |
| [41:00] | And I’ve eaten sushi in Tijuana. One-nothing. | 我在Tijuana吃过寿司了 无所谓 |
| [41:03] | You’re below my standards. Even for a one-night pity fuck. | 你搞低了我的标准 即使是搞一夜情的标准 |
| [41:05] | And I’ve taken down some real hogs. Yeah, hogs, cows, sheep. | 我宁愿去操猪 好啊 猪 狗 羊什么的 |
| [41:10] | I bet your sex life is a regular heavy-petting zoo. | 我打赌你的性生活一定是动物凶猛吧 |
| [41:12] | You know what? You’re what we call a two-bagger. | 你明白吗? 你就是那种需要带两个袋子的 |
| [41:15] | That means I have to wear a bag on my head… | 我自己的头上得带个袋子 |
| [41:17] | …just in case the one on yours breaks. | 以防遮住你脸的那个袋子破掉 |
| [41:20] | You sure it’s not just a size thing? | 你没觉得是尺寸的原因? |
| [41:22] | Because it’s gotta be tough standing at a urinal, pissing on your own testicles. | 因为你的家伙太小了你甚至会尿到自己的蛋上 |
| [41:26] | At least I can hide my shame in my pants. | 至少我可以把我的耻辱藏在我的裤子里 |
| [41:28] | What really sucks is having an ass… | 真正让人没兴趣的是你的屁股 |
| [41:30] | …the size of a miniature Mediterranean donkey. That suck… | 和微缩版的地中海驴子一样大 很衰 |
| [41:34] | Don’t… You think that’s too big? | 别 你不觉得那很大? |
| [41:36] | You think that’s too small? | 你觉得这太小了? |
| [41:56] | So you said do nothing, but I did something, totally small. | 你告诉我什么也别做 但我还是做了些小事情 |
| [41:59] | I sent her a couple hundred bucks worth of roses and a kick-ass poem. | 我送了她价值几百块的玫瑰 以及一首很棒的诗 |
| [42:03] | A few stanzas, no big deal. Did she call? | 几节诗而已 没什么大不了的 她打电话了吗? |
| [42:05] | No, she didn’t. | 没 |
| [42:06] | Dusty, these women, they have a way of getting into our head. | Dusty 这些女人 她们有侵入我们大脑的本领 |
| [42:09] | I’m gonna give you some fresh perspective. | 我会给你一些新鲜的观点 |
| [42:12] | Listen to me. This girl, I’m getting a hunch. | 听着 这个姑娘 我有一种预感 |
| [42:14] | She’s built for destruction. You can’t trust her. | 她会导致毁灭的 你不能信任她 |
| [42:16] | You know who you have to trust, Dusty? Each other. | 你知道你应该信任谁吧 Dusty? 我们要互相信任啊 |
| [42:20] | Yeah. It’s time to let her go. Maybe get some… You know. | 是时候忘记她了 |
| [42:23] | Just let her go. Move on. | 忘了她 然后继续生活 |
| [42:25] | You want me to move on? | 你想让我忘了她继续生活? |
| [42:28] | Give up. Want me to give up. That’s your big plan? I should just give up? | 放弃 你想让我放弃? 这就是你的计划?我就该这么放弃了? |
| [42:31] | That doesn’t quite work for me, okay? That doesn’t quite work for me. | 这对我来说行不通 好吧? 这对我来说行不通 |
| [42:35] | I’m not some sort of misogynist… | 我不是那种讨厌女人的人 |
| [42:37] | …that can just swap out women like they were batteries, okay? | 他们能像换电池一样的换女人 |
| [42:40] | I love her, Tank. I care more about this girl than I do myself. | 我爱她 Tank 我关心她甚至多于关心我自己 |
| [42:43] | You will never understand that. It’s new to me. | 你永远不会明白的 对我来说这很新颖 |
| [42:46] | She said she wants to be friends. | 她说她想做普通朋友 |
| [42:50] | You know what? I’ll give her a friend. | 那我就给她一个朋友 |
| [42:53] | I’ll be the best goddamn friend she ever had. | 我会成为她最好的一个朋友 |
| [43:26] | Today was a good day for us. | 今天是我们的好日子 |
| [43:28] | We made eye contact, although I couldn’t gauge… | 我们的目光接触了 尽管我不能确定 |
| [43:31] | I gotta run. | 我要走了 |
| [43:44] | Turn. | 转一下 |
| [43:53] | She’s really tough to read. | 我很难搞清楚她是怎么想的 |
| [43:55] | Really tough to read. | 很难弄清楚 |
| [43:56] | I felt like… I felt like she was a bit distracted. | 我感觉她好像有些心不在焉 |
| [44:03] | Totally. Hey, can we do this later? | 嗯嗯 我们过一会儿再聊吧 |
| [44:41] | It’s hot. | 很烫的 |
| [44:48] | Where you going? | 你要去哪? |
| [45:13] | She’s seeing someone. | 她看上谁了 |
| [45:17] | Dusty Dusty. | |
| [45:19] | What are you doing? You’re scaring the shit out of me. | 你在干嘛啊? 你差点吓死我 |
| [45:22] | Sitting in the dark like a vampire, you creepy weirdo. | 像个吸血鬼一样躲在黑屋子里 你这怪人 |
| [45:24] | She’s seeing someone. | 她有外遇了 |
| [45:27] | We don’t go out at night. I get her voice mail after 10. | 我们晚上不出去的 但十点之后她的电话还是没人接 |
| [45:31] | She’s seeing someone. | 她有看上谁了 |
| [45:33] | And I’m gonna find out who. I’m gonna take back “weirdo.” | 我会找出那个小三的 我发现你不是个怪人 |
| [45:36] | You’re giving off more of a full-blown serial psycho… | 你的行为散发着一种 |
| [45:39] | …crawlspace-full-of-skin-sombreros vibe. | 超级变态狂的感觉 |
| [45:41] | Stop. Intervention time. | 停 是时候阻止你了 |
| [45:43] | It’s time to forget about Alexis. Look at me, all right? | 应该忘记Alexis了 看着我 好吧? |
| [45:45] | It’s time to wipe the cobwebs off your cock and stick something. | 是时候抹去你万年不用的 老二上挂满的蜘蛛网了 |
| [45:50] | I don’t think she’d be cool with that. | 我不觉得她会接受这种行为的 |
| [45:52] | Look at me, please. You definitely… You don’t need her permission. | 看着我 求求你 你不需要她的同意的 |
| [45:56] | You need to get laid. | 你需要去打一炮 |
| [45:57] | And if you’ll listen to me, I bet I could make that happen. | 如果你听我的 我可以帮你 |
| [46:00] | This is one of the most important things that any man can do. | 这是每个男人能做的最重要的事情之一 |
| [46:04] | A haircut? | 理发? |
| [46:06] | Yes, Dusty, a haircut. Look at me. | Dusty 理发 看着我 |
| [46:08] | You look like Chewbacca and Sasquatch had a baby… | 你看起来就像Chewbacca和 Sasquatch所生的孩子 |
| [46:10] | …the baby took a shit, and that shit was blinded… | 而那个孩子衰透了 |
| [46:13] | …moments before styling your hair. | 你在理发前就是这种衰样 |
| [46:15] | A bit harsh. Appointment for Dusty, please. | 话说的真狠 给Dusty预约一下 谢谢 |
| [46:18] | Grab a seat. | 坐吧 |
| [46:21] | Great article. I’ve read that. Sorry to interrupt. | 那文章很不错 我读过 很抱歉打断了你 |
| [46:25] | My associate here is looking for a stylist he can trust. | 我身边的这个哥们需要找一个他可以信任的发型师 |
| [46:28] | And this place was recommended to us by a woman in our prayer group. | 我的祈祷小组里有个女人推荐了这家店 |
| [46:33] | Well, is he looking for something simple or…? | 呃 他是想剪得简单些还是? |
| [46:35] | Maybe a what-would-Jesus-‘do. | 也许按照神的旨意来剪吧 |
| [46:42] | I’m Hilary. Hilary, my name is Tank. | 我是Hilary Hilary 我叫Tank |
| [46:45] | This is Dustin. Hi. | 这是Dustin Hi |
| [46:49] | So I’ve got an $85 haircut so you could have a meet-cute? | 我花了$85理个发 就能在见面的时候让人眼前一亮了? |
| [46:52] | Oh, it’s $ 110. Worth every penny. | 是$110 一分钱一分货 |
| [46:54] | In return, I’m gonna get you a date with… | 作为回报 你可以给你安排一次约会 |
| [46:56] | Let’s just call her a confidence booster. A slow, fat one down the middle. | 这个是给你涨自信心的 是一个身体中间有些胖的女人 |
| [47:00] | I hope that’s a baseball metaphor. | 希望这是个棒球方面的暗喻吧 |
| [47:02] | This pitch is in your wheelhouse. Grand slam, upper deck. Game over. | 沥青在你的操舵室里 大满贯 上甲板 游戏结束 |
| [47:05] | Hey, beauty queen. Hey, I have a question. I’m sorry. | 嘿 美女 不好意思 我有个问题 |
| [47:08] | I’ve got these little… Is there any way…? | 这里有一些 你能不能? |
| [47:10] | Yeah. | 好 |
| [47:13] | Shit. I’m so sorry. | 啊 对不起 |
| [47:15] | No, I’m sorry. Sorry. | 对不起 对不起 |
| [47:17] | Is there any other way we could…? Yeah, okay. | 就没别的方法吗? 有 |
| [47:21] | Guess what. We’re all set for tonight. | 知道吗? 我们今晚行动 |
| [47:25] | Okay, hold still. | 好 别动 |
| [47:28] | What about, like, frosting my tips? | 呃 能不能把我的头发给固定一下? |
| [47:31] | What are you, a Mini-Wheat? | 那你成什么了 迷你小麦? |
| [47:32] | Listen, this girl’s not Alexis. She’s got a bed built for sex… | 听着 这个姑娘不是Alexis 她的床是用来做爱的 |
| [47:35] | …not stuffed animals. Wait, what? | 而不是用来放填充玩偶 等等? |
| [47:38] | How do you know that Alexis has stuffed animals on her bed? | 你怎么知道Alexis在她的床上放了填充玩偶? |
| [47:50] | Wait. Oh, my. | 等等 我的天 |
| [47:51] | Fuck. Oh, my God… | 该死的 我的天 |
| [47:54] | This stuff happens in salons. Sometimes it’s fixable. | 这种事情在理发店里经常发生的 是可以恢复的 |
| [47:57] | Tell him it’s fixable. I’m gonna throw up. | 告诉他这是可以恢复的 我要吐了 |
| [47:59] | Makeup, little shading, maybe some glue. | 化妆 加一些眼影 也许加一些胶水什么的 |
| [48:01] | How about an eyebrow toupee? | 要不找个假眉毛? |
| [48:03] | Where’s my eyebrow? I don’t know what to say. | 我的眉毛呢? 我不知道该说什么 |
| [48:05] | Oh, God, kill me. Kill me. Kill me! Where’s my eyebrow? | 我的神啊 杀了我吧 我的眉毛呢? |
| [48:08] | That’s a new look. | 那是个新造型 |
| [48:09] | You can fix it, right? Sure, just pop into my DeLorean. | 你能修好它 对吧? 没问题 只要你去我的DeLorean |
| [48:12] | It’s in the back. Don’t be a bitch. | 这是在后面 别当婊子 |
| [48:14] | You’re the bitch, bitch. Hey, gossip girls. Focus on my friend. | 你才是婊子 婊子 行了 姑娘们 帮帮我的朋友吧 |
| [48:17] | He’s follicly deformed. Fuck my fucking mother. | 他完全被毁容了 我日 |
| [48:20] | Let’s come up with this… Dusty, unless one’s missing, nobody’s gonna notice. | 听好了 Dusty 如果另一半也没了 就没有人会注意了 |
| [48:24] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [48:25] | Come here. Come here, sit down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. | 过来 过来 坐好 对 对 |
| [48:30] | You gotta be brave, man. | 小伙子 勇敢点 |
| [48:33] | Oh, my God. | 我的天啊? |
| [48:35] | Do it. It’s good. Come on. It’s gonna… | 做吧 表怕 来吧 没事 |
| [48:37] | You know what? I think it’s gonna look great. | 我觉得这会很好看的 |
| [48:40] | Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It’s gonna be really hot. | 我的天 我的天 会很好看的 |
| [48:44] | It better be hot. Yeah. | 希望能好看吧 嗯 |
| [48:49] | Fuck. | 日 |
| [48:52] | Bad, bad times. | 悲剧啊 |
| [48:56] | Oh, my fucking shit. | 我靠 |
| [49:00] | I’m coming. | 来了 |
| [49:04] | Oh, those are lovely. | 哦 小可爱 |
| [49:07] | And I see you’ve got a hairstyle change. | 你换发型了 |
| [49:11] | True. Claire, he’s here. | 嗯 Claire 他来了 |
| [49:15] | Come on in. She’ll be right out. | 进来吧 她马上就出来 |
| [49:19] | I’m sorry, I was under the impression that we… | 不好意思 我一直以为我们 |
| [49:23] | Us? No. Tank said you needed a lay-up. | 我们?不 Tank说你需要活动活动 |
| [49:28] | Are you calling me a lay-up? | 你觉得我是干那种事情的? |
| [49:30] | No. God, no. No. | 天 当然不是 |
| [49:36] | They told me you were taller. | 他们所说的你是要高一些的 |
| [49:39] | Just for peace of mind, the father of this child is…? | 为了防止我心灵不安 这孩子的父亲是? |
| [49:42] | In the middle of a brutal divorce with the mother of this child. | 正在和这个孩子的母亲闹离婚呢 |
| [49:46] | Cool. | 酷 |
| [49:47] | I mean, not cool. That’s not cool. But… But… | 不酷 那不酷 但是 |
| [49:50] | Here you go. | 给你 |
| [49:51] | Lilies. Thoughtful. | 百合花 真体贴 |
| [49:57] | Sorry. I don’t wanna give them up. | 抱歉 我不想把它们送走 |
| [50:00] | Thanks. I told you. | 谢了 我跟你说过的 |
| [50:02] | My friend said he was one of the good guys. | 我朋友说过他是个好人 |
| [50:04] | I don’t know if I would say I’m one of the… | 我不确定我会说我是个好人 |
| [50:07] | I’ve been known to be a bit of a dog sometimes. | 我有时候也挺坏的 |
| [50:11] | How cute, he’s trying to convince himself. | 真可爱 他在想使他自己相信那一套呢 |
| [50:15] | Oh, no, you’re a sweetheart, and that’s okay. | 不不 你是好人 那没关系 |
| [50:18] | I mean, Claire needs someone like you after the mess she’s been through. | Claire需要像你这样的人来 帮助她走过这一段艰难时刻 |
| [50:22] | Someone nice. | 好人 |
| [50:25] | Nice is nice. | 好人就是好人 |
| [50:28] | Should I take those? Oh, yes. | 这些我拿着吧? 行 |
| [50:31] | I’m sorry, sitter’s running a bit late. | 不好意思 保姆迟到了 |
| [50:33] | Can I get you something to drink, cutie? | 帅哥 要些喝的东西吗? |
| [50:40] | Yeah, actually, as a matter of fact. Okay. | 呃 要 好 |
| [50:42] | You can. | 你想要 |
| [50:46] | I’ll have what he’s having. | 我想要他真正喝的 |
| [50:48] | What the fuck? What just happened? | 什么? 怎么了? |
| [50:50] | He just said he wants… I just, I said… | 他说他想要 我只是说 |
| [50:53] | He looked at Liam, licked his lips and said: | 他盯着Liam 舔着他的嘴唇说 |
| [50:55] | “I’ll have what he’s having.” Okay, but what I meant… | 我想要他正在喝的 我想说的是 |
| [50:58] | What does that even mean? What does that mean? | 你到底想干嘛? 你想干嘛? |
| [51:00] | I’ll ex… Let me explain. You want me to lactate for you? | 让我解释 你想让我给你喂奶? |
| [51:03] | No. You want my big… | 不? 你想让我把我这巨大的 |
| [51:05] | …life-giving, mothering, nurturing breasts in your filthy mouth? | 给予生命的 富有营养的乳房放进你的脏嘴里? |
| [51:09] | What’s wrong with you? There’s a child here. | 你有毛病啊? 这是个孩子啊 |
| [51:11] | She’s got a child. I see the child. | 她有孩子 我看见这孩子了 |
| [51:13] | A child. It is a child. I was just… | 一个孩子 是个孩子 我只是 |
| [51:15] | You wanna breast-feed. What? | 你想吃我奶子 什么? |
| [51:17] | That’s what this is. | 就是这么回事 |
| [51:18] | You’re some fetishistic monster who preys on women. | 你是那种专门捕食女人的迷信禽兽 |
| [51:23] | Okay, I was just kidding. You’re disgusting. | 我是在开玩笑 你真恶心 |
| [51:26] | I was gonna throw myself at you, and you… | 我还想把我自己托付给你 没想到你 |
| [51:31] | I was just joking… | 我是在开玩笑 |
| [51:32] | Can we just start over? Hi. | 我们可以再来一遍吗? Hi |
| [51:34] | I just wanna start… Sorry, Laney, we don’t need a sitter. | 我只是想重来一遍 不好意思 Laney 我们不需要保姆 |
| [51:38] | Groucho here made a mark about suckling at my teat… | 这个Groucho想吃我的咪咪 |
| [51:41] | …and stealing my baby’s milk… | 并偷走给我小孩的奶水 |
| [51:43] | …and is consequently leaving. Okay. | 所以他得滚蛋 好 |
| [51:46] | Get the fuck out! Okay, I’m really sorry. | 滚 我很抱歉 |
| [51:48] | I’m just… I’m sorry. No. No more. Just get out. | 我很抱歉 够了 给我滚 |
| [51:51] | I’m really sorry. Go, go. | 我很抱歉 滚吧 |
| [51:54] | Come here. | 过来 |
| [52:01] | You got shot down… | 你在荣耀的火焰中 |
| [52:03] | …in a blaze of glory. | 搞砸了 |
| [52:07] | You cost me a job, man. | 你害得我丢了工作 |
| [52:09] | I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you. How much…? | 对不起 我会补偿你的 多少钱? |
| [52:13] | Forty… Fifty if it’s past 11. Okay. | 四十 如果过了十一点就五十了 没问题 |
| [52:16] | Here’s 60 for your trouble. I’m really sorry. | 给你六十 我真的很抱歉 |
| [52:20] | Sweet. | 真棒 |
| [52:22] | Hey, for another 60, I’ll jerk you off in the parking garage. | 再给我六十 我可以在停车场里给你打飞机 |
| [52:26] | Jesus. Do I really look that desperate? | 我真的显得有那么饥渴吗? |
| [52:34] | There’s no milk, but I’ll let you suck tit for 5 bucks a minute. | 虽然我的没有奶水 但你可以吃我的 每分钟五块钱 |
| [52:41] | Excuse me. | 打扰了 |
| [53:12] | Alexis Alexis! | |
| [53:14] | Alexis Alexis! | |
| [53:17] | Alexis, I love you! | Alexis 我爱你 |
| [53:19] | I love you, Alexis. I can’t just be friends, okay? | 我爱你 Alexis 我不能和你只做朋友 |
| [53:24] | Alexis, come to the door. | Alexis 开门 |
| [53:28] | Come on. | 来了 |
| [53:31] | Oh, Dobler. Hey, hey. | 哦 Dobler 嘿 |
| [53:32] | Hi there. I’m so sorry, your BFF’s upstairs with another guy. | 不好意思 你的好朋友和另外一个男人在楼上呢 |
| [53:37] | Holy shit, what is going on with your eyebrows? | 天 你的眉毛是怎么搞的 |
| [53:39] | Seriously, I think there’s something… I’m sorry. She’s got a guy up there? | 我觉得你的眉毛 什么 她和一个男人在上面? |
| [53:43] | But they’re just hanging out, right? Is she seeing this guy? | 他们只是在一起玩吧? 难道说她在和那人约会? |
| [53:46] | No, no, no. No, no, just an occasional bang. | 不 只是一夜情罢了 |
| [53:48] | No, no. God, no. How many times have they gone out? | 不会吧 他们一起出去多少次了? |
| [53:51] | How many times have they…? Not… They don’t go out ever. | 他们到底有多少次 他们从来不一起出去的 |
| [53:54] | No, he just comes over and he bangs, and then he leaves. | 那个男的来这里 打一炮 然后就走了 |
| [53:58] | What? You know, she’s doing this all for you. | 什么? 她这么做是为了你 |
| [54:00] | Think about it. She’s up there with her knees by her ears, getting railed… | 想想吧 她现在和那个男人在一起受尽屈辱 |
| [54:04] | …so one day she can settle down with a nice boy like you. | 这样她最终能和你这种好人在一起 |
| [54:07] | I love her. I love her. Dustin. | 我爱她 我爱她 Dustin |
| [54:08] | You’d better be ready. I’m serious. Alexis. | 你最好做好准备哦 我是认真的 Alexis |
| [54:11] | Alexis Alexis. Ale… | |
| [54:17] | Dustin, what are you doing here? | Dustin 你在这里干嘛? |
| [54:21] | What is he doing here? Well, this is my… | 他在这里干嘛? 这是我的 |
| [54:23] | It’s Tank. | 他是Tank |
| [54:27] | This is the guy you’re with? No, I’m not with anyone. | 这就是和你在一起的那个人 不 我是单身的 |
| [54:30] | I’m not… We’re not together. | 我们不是在一起的 |
| [54:32] | I mean, no offense, Tank, but we’re not… | 无意冒犯你哈 Tank 我们不是情侣 |
| [54:35] | I told you. I told you that I was gonna get out there… | 我告诉过你我会出去 |
| [54:38] | …and I was gonna see other people and I was gonna date… | 我会去和其他人见面 约会什么的 |
| [54:41] | …and get some experience under my belt… | 给我的下半身积累一些经验 |
| [54:43] | …and live my life a little bit. For once in my life, do something like that… | 过我自己的生活 做真正的自己 |
| [54:47] | …and that’s exactly what I’m doing. | 这正是我想做的 |
| [54:53] | Should I go? Yes. | 我可以走吗? 嗯 |
| [54:55] | I’m gonna go. No, no, no. | 我走了 别 |
| [54:57] | Yeah. Yeah. Tank. | 嗯嗯 Tank |
| [54:58] | You know what? I’ll go. No, you don’t go, you stay. | 我走 你别走 你留下 |
| [55:00] | I should get going, I have a big day tomorrow. My roommate’s moving out. | 我该走了 明天我的室友就得搬走了 |
| [55:04] | I have shit to do too. | 我也有事情要忙 |
| [55:05] | Really? Bye. | 是吗? 再见 |
| [55:06] | I’ll call you later. I’ll call you later. | 我会给你打电话的 我会给你打电话的 |
| [55:09] | No, after you. No, you go. | 你先走 不 你先走 |
| [55:10] | No, no, please, Tank. You go first. | 不 Tank 你先走 |
| [55:12] | All right. Fine. | 行 好 |
| [55:17] | How can I trust you? I don’t know. | 我怎么能信任你? 我不知道 |
| [55:20] | Hey, I wasn’t kidding. You’re out by tomorrow morning. | 我没有开玩笑 你明天就给我搬走 |
| [55:26] | Dusty Dusty… | |
| [55:38] | I thought so. | 我觉得就是这样 |
| [55:45] | So we remember the words of Betty Friedan: | 我们记起了Betty Friedan说过的话 |
| [55:48] | “A woman has got to be able to say, and not feel guilty: | 一个女人需要毫无愧疚的说出 |
| [55:54] | ‘Who am I… | 我是谁 |
| [55:57] | …and what do I want out of life?”‘ | 我在人生中想要得到什么? |
| [56:00] | That’s why my Women’s Studies program will be focused… | 这就是为什么我的妇女研究课程关注于 |
| [56:03] | …on the liberation, celebration and exploration… | 妇女的解放 探索 和庆祝 |
| [56:11] | …of you… | 比如你 |
| [56:16] | …and you… | 比如你 |
| [56:21] | …and you. | 比如你 |
| [56:24] | Enjoy your weekend, and please try to do so responsibly. | 周末愉快 请大家做事情要记得负责 |
| [56:31] | The man is Oprah. | 这个男人和Oprah一样 |
| [56:39] | Would you all excuse me for just one second, please? | 我离开一下哈 |
| [56:46] | Sherman, Sherman, Sherman. Hey, Dad. | Sherman 老爹 |
| [56:49] | If there’s anything else I can get for you, I’m always available, professor. | 如果还有什么我可以为你效劳的 就来找我吧 教授 |
| [56:53] | One of my teaching assistants, and a very hard-working young woman. | 我的一个助教 她工作很努力 |
| [57:02] | Last night, I fucked her within an inch of her life. | 昨晚 我狠狠的上了她 |
| [57:07] | True story. I’m jamming her head through the headboard… | 是真的 我把她的头塞进了床头板里 |
| [57:10] | …I flip her over, she screams, “Give me a choker.” | 我把她翻过来 她喊着 我要choker |
| [57:12] | I play the choirboy, “What’s that?” Star wipe to five minutes later… | 我于是就扮演起唱诗班男孩 快速切换到五分钟之后 |
| [57:16] | …she’s bucking like an epileptic at a strobe-light convention. | 她就像一个在闪光灯下的癫痫病人一样抽动着 |
| [57:19] | I’m getting scared. | 我吓到了 |
| [57:20] | As I’m working out the 911 phone call in my head, she goes: | 我正准备打电话求助的时候 她喷了 |
| [57:27] | Like an air bag. | 像个安全气囊一样 |
| [57:32] | Now, that’s a Tuesday night. | 那是周二晚上的事情 |
| [57:34] | You got a good gig, Dad. | 老爹 你很有两下子嘛 |
| [57:36] | How you doing, son? | 儿子 你过得如何? |
| [57:39] | Dusty kicked me out. | Dusty把我赶走了 |
| [57:41] | In all fairness, I was accidentally sleeping with his pseudo-girlfriend… | 挺公平的 我无意中睡了他的伪女友 |
| [57:44] | …but I feel like shit. | 我感觉遭透了 |
| [57:47] | Son, let me tell you a story. | 让我给你讲个故事 |
| [57:49] | December, 1977, your mother, God rest her soul… | 1977年十二月 你的母亲 主保佑她安息 |
| [57:52] | …throws one of her infamous pot potlucks… | 又一次的发飙了 |
| [57:55] | …and I find myself sozzled in the boathouse with your Aunt Francie. | 我则发现我和你的姑妈 Francie在一个船房里搞到了一起 |
| [57:59] | Now today, some might consider her to be zaftig… | 现在你们可能会觉得她太胖了 |
| [58:01] | …but back then, she could really hang a sundress. | 但那时候她的身材相当的好啊 |
| [58:04] | How I yearned for her. | 我觊觎她 |
| [58:07] | But I refrained because it was your mother’s sister. | 但我控制住了我自己 因为她是我老婆的妹妹 |
| [58:10] | I get it. I fucked up. No. No. | 明白了 我搞砸了 没没 |
| [58:13] | The point is, is that two days later, I banged the shit out of her… | 但是 两天后 我和她好好的爽了一把 |
| [58:17] | …in the back of a Bonneville while your mother filled my prescription. | 那是在Bonneville的后面 而你妈妈完成了我的指示 |
| [58:22] | Best Pontiac sex I’ve ever had. | 那是我经历的最棒的一次车内性爱 |
| [58:26] | Okay, so you approve? | 所以你同意咯? |
| [58:30] | Guilt is just one more thing trying to asphyxiate us during sex. | 内疚感只是另一种在性爱过程中 会使我们窒息的东西罢了 |
| [58:34] | You cheat, you feel bad, you watch TV, you feel better, you cheat again. | 你偷吃 你感觉很糟糕 你看电视 你感觉好一些了 你又去偷吃 |
| [58:47] | All right, you know what? This girl’s different. | 但这个姑娘很不同啊 |
| [58:50] | She’s smart, she’s cool, she’s tough, she’s a 10. | 她很聪明 她很酷 她很强悍 她可以得十分 |
| [58:55] | Ms. Barber, I must apologize for my son’s antiquated phraseology. | Barber小姐 我必须为我儿子过时的措辞而道歉 |
| [59:00] | Out of desperation, he continues to assess women… | 出于绝望 他仍然按照从一到十的打分方法 |
| [59:02] | …a base-10 value number… | 来评价一个女人 |
| [59:04] | …predicated solely on their physical countenance. | 而且这打分完全是基于长相的 |
| [59:06] | That’s… | 那样就 |
| [59:08] | That’s wrong, Sherman. No problem. | 那是不对的 Sherman 没关系 |
| [59:28] | I moved from numbers a long time ago. You rarely find a 10 outside of L.A. | 我很久以前就搬走了 你在洛杉矶之外很难找到一个满分的 |
| [59:32] | That’s ass-up polyurethane. Really talking about a one through nine. | 那边的polyurethane 从一说到九 |
| [59:35] | It was too constricting. I’m all about the letters now. | 太限制了 现在我都用字母了 |
| [59:39] | J J. | |
| [59:42] | She smells like a J. | 她闻起来像J |
| [59:44] | E over there in the booth. | 那边吧台边上的是个E |
| [59:46] | An E is a 22 on a scale of 26. | E是26尺度中的第22位 |
| [59:49] | It gets easier with practice. | 熟能生巧的 |
| [59:53] | S. Crop-top here, she would be an F. | S 那边那个穿短T恤的是个F |
| [59:56] | No, bad skin. She’s a G, maybe an H without the war paint. | 皮肤不好 她是个G 如果不花大浓妆就是H了 |
| [1:00:00] | But that cougar over there, Bo Derek with the blue wrap. | 那边的那个 美洲豹 带着蓝围巾的Bo Derek |
| [1:00:03] | She’s a solid L. Okay, wait a second. | 她是个结结实实的L 等等 |
| [1:00:05] | That woman is 62, that wrap is a shawl… | 那个女人是62 那围巾是个披肩 |
| [1:00:08] | …that L is a Y, and there’s a reason they call them Y’s. | 那个L是一个Y 大家叫她们Y是有道理的 |
| [1:00:10] | Come on. Check it. | 看 嗯嗯 |
| [1:00:13] | No, good call, Sherm, good call. | 有眼光 Sherm |
| [1:00:16] | I’ve gotta get that Lasik. | 我要做个Lasik了 |
| [1:00:18] | So you gonna wing me or what? What’s the game plan? | 你掩护我不? 好 计划是什么? |
| [1:00:22] | Being an educator, I like to stick to the school grades… | 作为一名教育工作者 我喜欢对什么东西都评判等级 |
| [1:00:25] | …A, B, C and D. You, on the other hand… | A级 B级 C级和D级 当然你是例外 |
| [1:00:28] | …should stay with the back 13, thin out the herd. | 就像数字13一样 是与众不同的 |
| [1:00:30] | Thanks, Dad. I’m off the market right now. | 谢了 爸 没有把我也掺杂进去 |
| [1:00:33] | I told you about this girl. You know, she… | 我曾经和你说过这个女孩 她 |
| [1:00:35] | The other night, we’re making love… | 前几天晚上 我们做完爱 |
| [1:00:37] | …and we’re just laying there afterwards and… | 然后我们就躺在那什么都没干 |
| [1:00:40] | Sharing the silence? Yeah. | 享受着静默? 是这样的 |
| [1:00:43] | What the fuck is wrong with you? | 你到底是怎么了? |
| [1:00:45] | “Making love”? What are you, Nora Ephron? | 做爱 ? 你以为你是谁啊?Nora Ephron? |
| [1:00:47] | Is this some Redbook interview? | 这是什么 红皮书采访 吗? |
| [1:00:49] | You sound like Liberace’s stylist’s boyfriend. | 你把自己搞得这么有诗情画意? |
| [1:00:51] | “Let’s just enjoy the silences and the caprice together.” | 让我们一起享受着那份静默和狂想 |
| [1:00:55] | I have no son. I have no son. Dad, I dig this girl. | 我没有这样的儿子 我没有这样的儿子 爸 我很在乎这个女孩 |
| [1:00:58] | Good, keep talking. And while you’re talking… | 好的 继续 你说话的时候 |
| [1:01:02] | Can you listen? Soon as you put on your safari hat… | 你能专注点吗? 然后你很快的戴上你的 狩猎帽 |
| [1:01:05] | …and grab your gun. Dad, can you just stay here with me? | 掏出你的 枪 爸 你能把注意力放在我这儿吗? |
| [1:01:09] | Of course I can, son. | 当然可以 儿子 |
| [1:01:10] | Since you fucked my chances with the “Dad” play. Thanks for projecting. | 因为我预计你不会和我说正经的 |
| [1:01:14] | Not to mention the gay-caress maneuver for the hearing-impaired. | 所以你就不要在 聋子 面前讨论性爱了 |
| [1:01:17] | Can’t you just be my Dad for five fucking seconds? | 难道你就不能当 哪怕只有五秒钟的好爸爸? |
| [1:01:20] | Oh, I’m sorry, you want the real father-son bullshit. Right this way. | 哦 对不起 原来你想要谈正经的 来这边 |
| [1:01:24] | That girl was dating Dusty, | 那个女孩曾经是Dusty的女朋友 |
| [1:01:25] | which means she’s out of your league. | 也就是说她破坏了你们的友谊 |
| [1:01:27] | She was slumming it, Sherman. | 她在耍你们 Sherman |
| [1:01:30] | “Now, the truth may set you free, but first it’s gonna piss you off.” | 现在 真相或许能让你解脱 但前提是你将要滚蛋 |
| [1:01:34] | Gloria Steinem said that. | Gloria Steinem的至理名言 |
| [1:01:42] | My son, the booty call. | 儿子 战利品 在呼唤你 |
| [1:01:45] | Thanks for the advice, professor. | 谢谢你的建议 教授 |
| [1:01:57] | Shit. | 操 |
| [1:02:15] | That was insane. | 真棒 |
| [1:02:22] | It was insane, right? | 你不觉得很棒吗? |
| [1:02:29] | It was… | 真的 |
| [1:02:34] | Hey, can I have some of that? | 嘿 我也想喝点水 |
| [1:02:43] | Who’s that guy? | 这男的是谁? |
| [1:02:45] | That’s Greg, he’s an old friend. | 他叫Greg 是我的一个老朋友 |
| [1:02:49] | Why? | 怎么了? |
| [1:02:53] | Just I’m seeing, you know, his arm’s a little low on your hip. | 我只是看到 他很亲密的搂着你的腰 |
| [1:02:57] | One of his hands is almost near your ass. You know, for a friend. | 其中一只手都快到屁股那儿了 不可能只是一般朋友吧 |
| [1:03:03] | Did you guys ever hook up? Really? | 说真的 你和他好过吗? |
| [1:03:06] | You’re not serious, are you? | 你不会是吃醋了吧? |
| [1:03:09] | No. No, I’m not serious at all. | 没有啊 我从来对任何事都不在乎 |
| [1:03:14] | I mean, you’re in a picture with him. Oh, my God, you’re serious. | 我只是说 你和他拍了张照 哦 天呐 你真的吃醋了 |
| [1:03:19] | Why don’t we have a picture? | 为什么我们没拍过照? |
| [1:03:24] | I don’t know. | 额 我也不知道 |
| [1:03:26] | I can fix that. That’s easy. No, no, no. | 拍照嘛 很容易的 不行 不行 |
| [1:03:29] | No, no. I’m naked. I don’t want… Tank. | 不 我什么都没穿 我可不想 艳照门 |
| [1:03:31] | Yeah. I know, I want that… | 我知道 我只是想拍个照而已 |
| [1:03:32] | Come here. You’re pushing me. Tank. | 来吧 你蹬到我了 Tank |
| [1:03:34] | I’m out of the bed. I’m serious. | 我被你踹下床了 我要生气了 |
| [1:03:36] | Okay. That hurt. | 好了 好疼 |
| [1:03:38] | I’m tired. That really hurt. | 我很困了 真的很疼 |
| [1:03:46] | Stupid idea. It’s late. | 愚蠢的想法 都这么晚了 |
| [1:03:57] | I gotta work tomorrow. | 我明天还要上班 |
| [1:04:00] | Everybody’s gotta work tomorrow. | 每个人明天都要上班的啊 |
| [1:04:08] | You don’t want me to stay tonight. | 哦 我知道了 你是说不想我今晚待在这儿 |
| [1:04:12] | I just sort of feel like it’s… Yeah. | 我只是感觉有点 知道 |
| [1:04:17] | Totally understandable. | 完全可以理解 |
| [1:04:20] | Yeah. | 没事 |
| [1:06:01] | Hi. | 嗨 |
| [1:06:04] | What happened to 8? | 你8点干嘛去了? |
| [1:06:06] | Eight’s good. But you’re an hour late. | 没干嘛呀 但你迟到了一个小时 |
| [1:06:10] | Can we make it 9? | 那我们能9点开始吗? |
| [1:06:11] | I thought you wanted to get drinks before dinner. | 我觉得你刚才肯定去喝酒了 |
| [1:06:14] | I did. And I did. | 恩 我确实去喝酒去了 |
| [1:06:17] | Well, I’m not getting in a car with you. | 我可不会坐你的车 |
| [1:06:20] | Like I tell my students, even one drink is one drink too many. | 象我每次都会教导我的学生 喝了一点也算喝 |
| [1:06:23] | No vehicle necessary, teach. The place we’re going is right here. | 不需要坐车啊 女教师 我们要去的地方就在那儿 |
| [1:06:27] | It’s good. Let’s go. | 相当不错哟 来吧 |
| [1:06:43] | This is wrong. | 这是不对的 |
| [1:06:46] | Let’s eat. | 我们叫东西吃吧 |
| [1:06:48] | Right there. | 坐那儿 |
| [1:06:53] | I’m starving. I wanted to show you this too. | 我饿死了 另外我想向你展示一下这个 |
| [1:06:55] | Look, it’s my new T-shirt. | 看这儿 这是我的新T恤 |
| [1:06:58] | “My cock plus your pussy equals…”? | 我的小弟弟加上你的小妹妹等于 ? |
| [1:07:01] | “Good times”? That’s it. | 快乐时光 ? 回答正确 |
| [1:07:03] | Welcome to Cheesus Crust, where pizza is a religious experience. | 欢迎来到Cheesus Crust餐厅 在这吃披萨是种宗教的体验 |
| [1:07:06] | How can I ordain your order? | 两位想吃点什么? |
| [1:07:08] | How is the Pizza of Nazareth? | 这个叫Nazareth的披萨怎么样? |
| [1:07:11] | People worship it. | 这个披萨很热卖的 |
| [1:07:15] | I’m deeply offended. Me too. | 我非常反感这儿 我也是 |
| [1:07:18] | These prices are outrageous. | 但这儿的价格让人无法拒绝 |
| [1:07:20] | Which is why I carry my Flavor Savior card. | 这就是我为什么还带上了我的 Flavor Savior优惠卡 |
| [1:07:22] | Fifteen percent off, all who eat here religiously. | 打85折哦 只要在这虔诚的吃就够了 |
| [1:07:27] | Do you think this is funny? | 你认为这很好笑吗? |
| [1:07:33] | Good night. | 再见 |
| [1:07:36] | You people are sinners! You should have thought of that… | 你们在亵渎神灵! 你早就应该料到了 |
| [1:07:39] | …19 years ago before you stopped my mom from going into that clinic. | 在19年前 你没能阻止 我妈把我生下来的时候 |
| [1:07:42] | Have a blessed day. | 愿主保佑你 |
| [1:07:47] | Fastest ever. | 有史以来 最快解决的一个 |
| [1:08:13] | Even Jesus had to eat. | 就算是耶稣也要吃饭的 |
| [1:08:16] | Don’t. It was a bad date. | 不需要 今天的约会真糟糕 |
| [1:08:20] | Well, it was supposed to be a nice night out. | 我本来期待今天能度过一个愉快的夜晚的 |
| [1:08:23] | You know, my last boyfriend never took me anywhere. | 我的前男友从来不带我去任何地方 |
| [1:08:26] | Ever. | 从来不 |
| [1:08:28] | He’d text me late at night to come hang out at his place… | 他顶多也就是晚上给我发短信 让我去他那儿 |
| [1:08:31] | …like he was ashamed to be seen with me in public. | 搞的跟我在一起露面很丢脸似的 |
| [1:08:34] | Please don’t cry. Wait. Please? I’d make excuses for him, you know? | 不要哭好吗 请等一下 我每次都找借口拒绝了他 |
| [1:08:38] | He’s not using me, I’m using him. | 他没有耍过我 从来都是我耍他 |
| [1:08:40] | And I’m in total control… Total control and it’s not that serious. | 我完全自己作主 自己作主 却又并不那么严重 |
| [1:08:45] | Yeah. Yeah. | 是这样的 恩 |
| [1:08:46] | But when that phone rang… | 但每当电话响起 |
| [1:08:48] | …my heart leapt, and I was there. Totally. | 我的心就怦怦直跳 我就准备好了 完全的 |
| [1:08:51] | And now I finally get the chance to go out | 现在我终于有机会去真正意义上的约一次会 |
| [1:08:53] | on a real date and it’s with you. | 却是跟你这样的一个混蛋 |
| [1:08:55] | I know, that sucks. No, you suck. | 我知道 约会很烂 不是 准确的说是你人很讨人厌 |
| [1:08:59] | I do. I do suck. | 是啊 我是很讨人厌 |
| [1:09:02] | I suck. | 我很讨人厌 |
| [1:09:08] | You must be hungry. Let’s go eat. | 你一定饿了 走 一起吃点东西 |
| [1:09:14] | My senior year, I take this girl on a date… Horrible, date from hell. | 我大四时 和这个女孩约会了 很糟糕的一次约会 |
| [1:09:20] | About a week later, this frat boy comes up and he says to me: | 然后一个星期后 这个兄弟过来跟我说 |
| [1:09:23] | “Only you could make me look good.” | 只有跟你比较才能显现出我的好 |
| [1:09:27] | All right? I laughed… | 是这样吗?我当时一笑而过 |
| [1:09:29] | …until one of his buddies then came to me and was like: | 直到有一天他的哥们也过来跟我说 |
| [1:09:33] | “Can you help me with my ex?” | 你能帮我挽回我的前女友吗? |
| [1:09:35] | Tank was born. Yeah. Yeah, really. | 就这样 Tank诞生了 恩 就是这样 |
| [1:09:43] | I’m sorry. I understand. | 刚才真是对不起 没事 我能理解 |
| [1:09:47] | But… | 但是 |
| [1:09:49] | …do you enjoy it? | 你很享受干这个吗? |
| [1:09:50] | I’m good at it. I’m good at being an asshole. | 我很擅长干这个 我很擅长当一个混蛋 |
| [1:09:54] | It’s what I do. | 我只不过是本色 演出 罢了 |
| [1:09:56] | You’re like the anti-Cupid. More like the Antichrist. | 你好像不相信真爱 应该说是不相信上天 |
| [1:10:01] | Sorry. | 哦 对不起 |
| [1:10:03] | Sorry. It’s all right. | 真是对不起 没事 |
| [1:10:07] | You know, in a cruel, twisted way… | 说老实话 虽然方法很恶心 |
| [1:10:10] | …you give couples a second chance. | 但你给了恋人们第二次机会 |
| [1:10:13] | You’re a closet romantic. | 你是一个浪漫使者 |
| [1:10:15] | I don’t know about that. You are. | 我自己都不知道 你确实是 |
| [1:10:19] | You know you have to confront this girl, Alexis. | 你必须勇敢的面对你的Alexis |
| [1:10:21] | I can’t. | 我做不到 |
| [1:10:24] | I can’t. | 我做不到 |
| [1:10:26] | If you don’t do this, she will never take you seriously. | 如果你不诚实勇敢的面对她 她是不会把你当真的 |
| [1:10:29] | You need to march up there and tell her how you feel. | 你必须勇敢的去做 告诉她你内心的真正想法 |
| [1:10:32] | Alexis Alexis. | |
| [1:10:36] | Alexis, it’s Tank. | Alexis 我是Tank |
| [1:10:39] | Yeah. | 好的 |
| [1:10:43] | I’m just gonna say this. I’m gonna say it. | 我只是想说 只是想说 |
| [1:10:46] | If you value this, us, we… | 如果你还重视 咱俩的 |
| [1:10:49] | …then you will let me take you on a proper date. | 你会愿意和我去参加一次正式的约会 |
| [1:10:53] | In public. It’s 2 a.m. In the morning. | 抛头露面 现在是凌晨2点钟 |
| [1:10:55] | Can we do the proper date another time? | 我们能换个时间约会吗? |
| [1:11:01] | Tomorrow. Yes. | 那明天? 好吧 |
| [1:11:02] | Proper date. In public. | 正式的约会 抛头露面 |
| [1:11:05] | Get some… Good night. | 穿得 晚安 |
| [1:11:06] | Good night. Nice shirt. | 晚安 穿件帅点的衬衫 |
| [1:11:25] | Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me. | 哦 你是在开玩笑吗 |
| [1:11:30] | This is for you. Have to have a corsage. | 这个是给你的 必须戴上这朵花 |
| [1:11:33] | Oh, my God. | 哦 天呐 |
| [1:11:35] | You gotta be kidding me. No, I’m not. | 你一定在开玩笑吧 没有啊 |
| [1:11:39] | I never went to prom. | 我还从来没来过这么正式的舞会 |
| [1:11:42] | I remember. | 我知道 |
| [1:11:46] | Oh, yeah, that’s right. | 哦 好吧 |
| [1:11:55] | She’s got a shank. You might wanna actually focus on her. | 她出问题了 你应该想要检查她了 |
| [1:11:58] | They’re with me, okay? Thanks. Alexis, this is Hilary, our chaperon. | 他们都是我朋友 谢了 Alexis 这位是Hilary 我们的女伴 |
| [1:12:01] | Hi. Nice to meet you. Hi. | 嗨 很高兴见到你 嗨 |
| [1:12:05] | Thank you. | 谢了 |
| [1:12:07] | You two kids have fun. | 你们玩得开心 |
| [1:12:14] | I’m having fun. | 我现在很开心 |
| [1:12:16] | Let’s set the stage here. You’re 17 years old. | 让我们在这跳吧 你都17岁了 |
| [1:12:20] | As you make the mistake of heading out onto the dance floor… | 当你误入舞池 |
| [1:12:23] | …a fine, young chap stops you on your way… | 一个不错的小伙拦住你 |
| [1:12:25] | Strikingly handsome. Some would say ruggedly good-looking. | 相当帅 可以说是帅的不讲道理 |
| [1:12:28] | He stops you and says, “Excuse me, would you care to dance?” | 他拦住你然后说 不好意思 能请你跳支舞吗? |
| [1:12:31] | Don’t tell me you dance. Me? | 别告诉我说你要跳舞? 我? |
| [1:12:34] | Never. | 从来不 |
| [1:12:38] | Oh, my God. | 哦 天呐 |
| [1:12:41] | Oh, my God. That’s it. That’s all I’ve got, really. | 哦 天呐 我也就会这几招了 真的 |
| [1:12:50] | No way. | 不行 |
| [1:12:57] | For you. | 献给你 |
| [1:12:59] | Let’s go. No, I can’t… | 来吧 不 我不行 |
| [1:13:01] | You’re making this embarrassingmyself-to-be-cute thing really difficult. | 你这不是让我白装了半天可爱吗? |
| [1:13:05] | Look at this, check it out. | 看这个 接上 |
| [1:13:08] | Did you see that little move? I saw it. I wanna see more over here. | 你看见我刚才动了一小下吗? 我看见了 而且我还想看更多 |
| [1:13:39] | I got caught up. | 我被吸引了 |
| [1:14:04] | Hi. Hey. | 嗨 嗨 |
| [1:14:31] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [1:14:37] | Fun, huh? | 玩的还开心吗? |
| [1:14:38] | Yeah. | 还好 |
| [1:14:44] | You know you could have any girl out there, right? | 你知道你能泡到任何一个女孩的 你可以的 |
| [1:14:47] | Hey, dude, look at me. | 嘿 帅哥 看我 |
| [1:14:51] | Look at this. | 看我这儿 |
| [1:14:52] | It’s not about what you look like, man. | 关键不在于你长的怎么样 伙计 |
| [1:14:54] | It’s right here, okay? | 关键在这 知道吗? |
| [1:14:55] | It’s attitude, it’s how you look at them. | 关键是态度 你是怎么看待她们的 |
| [1:14:57] | Pretend you don’t give a shit… | 装作你什么都不屑一顾的样子 |
| [1:14:59] | …they will be on you like acne. Guaranteed or your money back. | 她们就会象痘痘一样黏住你 我向你保证 |
| [1:15:04] | So, then, like, why have you been such a kiss-ass to your girl all night? | 真是那样的话 你又为什么整晚都跟在你的女朋友的屁股后面 |
| [1:15:08] | Pulling out chairs, throwing out compliments. | 离开座位 到处搭讪 |
| [1:15:10] | I’m on a different plan. You’re on a… What you… What l… | 我跟你的状况不同 你现在是 你是 而我又是 |
| [1:15:15] | “Can I wipe your ass, baby?” | 我能帮你擦屁股吗 宝贝? |
| [1:15:18] | I was trying to help you, but fuck you. | 我只是想帮你 但你真操蛋 |
| [1:15:21] | Fuck you, you hypocrite. | 你才操蛋 你个伪君子 |
| [1:15:23] | “Hey nerd, let me give you some condescending advice.” | 嘿 可怜人啊 让我给你一点忠告 |
| [1:15:26] | Be cruel to women? | 对女人表现的很吊? |
| [1:15:27] | Fat, pathetic, sad dork. | 你个死胖子 可悲的笨蛋 |
| [1:15:29] | Old man at a high-school prom. Husky bitch. | 中学舞会里的老男人 你个贱人 |
| [1:15:35] | Don’t get ahead of yourself here. And I’m just curious… | 不要太勉强表现自己 我都感觉有点怪怪的 |
| [1:15:38] | …but are you seeing anybody? No. | 你见过什么人吗? 没有啊 |
| [1:15:40] | No? | 没有? |
| [1:15:42] | Are you? No. | 你呢? 也没有啊 |
| [1:15:45] | What about that awkward night with that guy? | 上次很尴尬的那个男的呢? |
| [1:15:47] | You still calling him? | 你还有联系他吗? |
| [1:15:49] | He kind of disappeared. | 他好像人间蒸发了 |
| [1:15:52] | I haven’t heard from him since he quit. | 或许是他已经退出了 |
| [1:15:54] | Maybe you could call him. You know? | 也许你应该联系一下他 |
| [1:15:56] | See how he’s holding up kind of thing. | 看看他能不能撑得下去之类的 |
| [1:15:59] | What? Or don’t. | 什么? 不联系也行 |
| [1:16:02] | It’s… It’s your choice. I mean, I’m just saying… | 这只是 你的选择而已 我只是随便说说而已 |
| [1:16:05] | No, I know. It’s sweet. Polite. | 不 我知道 你只是好心而已 礼貌 |
| [1:16:09] | Even if it is a part of your whole show that you’ve got going on tonight. | 即使这只是你今晚的话题之一 |
| [1:16:13] | You’re pulling out all the stops. | 你在尽全力爱我关心我 |
| [1:16:16] | Sweet Tank. Sweet Tank is way into me. | 亲爱的Tank 越来越爱我 |
| [1:16:23] | You know what, though? You’re right. I should call him. | 可是 你知道吗? 你是对的 我是该联系一下他的 |
| [1:16:28] | I should call him. | 我应该联系一下他 |
| [1:16:35] | I think I’ll say good night. | 我想我该走了 |
| [1:16:37] | Yes, I will be going. Wait, what? | 好的 我要走了 等一下 |
| [1:16:39] | Good night. | 晚安 |
| [1:16:42] | I got what I wanted. A real first date. | 我得到了我想要的 一次真正意义上的约会 |
| [1:16:44] | Although this may be the worst possible time to admit it… | 尽管我不得不承认 |
| [1:16:47] | …l’m not good at the no-sex thing. So I’ll see you later. | 我并不擅长没有做爱的约会 明天见 |
| [1:16:50] | Hey, if you insist on celibacy… | 嘿 如果你坚持向往这样的约会的话 |
| [1:16:53] | …do you think we can have our second official date on July 7? | 你介不介意7月7号 我们进行第二次正式的约会 |
| [1:16:56] | Because my sister is getting married. | 因为那天是我妹妹的婚礼 |
| [1:16:58] | And it would be great… | 如果你能来的话 |
| [1:17:01] | …if you’d come with me. | 我会很高兴 |
| [1:17:04] | Yes, I can do that. But I’m gonna walk away… | 我当然会来 但我现在要走了 |
| [1:17:07] | …because… You’re missing out. | 因为 你错过了哟 |
| [1:17:10] | After a while, crocodile. | 过不了多久 你就装吧 |
| [1:17:19] | You know, it was really cool of you to call, Alexis. | 接到你的电话真高兴 Alexis |
| [1:17:22] | Lunch, wedding errands. Just like old times, huh? | 午餐 婚礼 就像我们以前一样 不是吗? |
| [1:17:25] | I haven’t seen you since I took my leave of absence from work. | 自从我放假就没见过你了 |
| [1:17:28] | Yeah, I heard you quit. | 我听说你放弃了 |
| [1:17:30] | Oh, no, no, no, I just… I took a sabbatical. A sabbatical. | 没有 没有 我只是 我只是休整一下 休整一下 |
| [1:17:34] | I just wanted to do some soul-searching. | 我只是想反思一下 |
| [1:17:44] | My sister picked it out. Well, you should thank her. | 我妹妹帮我选的 哦 你应该感谢她 |
| [1:17:47] | The whole world should thank her. Well, you’re welcome. | 整个世界都应该感谢她 嗨 你好 |
| [1:17:50] | Speaking of the devil. Oh, my gosh. | 说曹操 曹操到 哦 亲爱的 |
| [1:17:52] | I love it. I love it so much. | 我喜欢 我很喜欢 |
| [1:17:55] | This is my friend, Dustin. This is my sister. | 这是我朋友 Dustin 这是我妹妹 |
| [1:17:57] | Oh, hi. No. Get over here. | 哦 嗨 哦 来吧 |
| [1:17:58] | What? Congratulations. | 哦? 恭喜你 |
| [1:18:00] | Alexis will not shut up about you, the wedding… | Alexis一直在谈论你 婚礼 |
| [1:18:03] | That was really smart. That was so smart, yeah. | 他很不错 恩 相当不错 |
| [1:18:05] | See, I brought mine too. Hi. | 我也把帮我试婚纱的朋友带来了 |
| [1:18:08] | It’s really the only opinion that means anything these days. | 这段时间都在忙活婚礼了 |
| [1:18:12] | Oh, my gosh. | 哦 亲爱的 |
| [1:18:14] | You have to see my dress. Great, now. | 你也应该看看我的新衣服 好的 |
| [1:18:19] | Yeah, I did it when… Alexis, I’m sorry. | 我刚刚 Alexis 不好意思 |
| [1:18:21] | I’m the… I’m the dress-shopping gay pal? | 我是 难道我只是一个陪你试衣服的好朋友? |
| [1:18:24] | I just think that now’s not the time to set her straight. | 我只是刚才不想跟她解释而已 |
| [1:18:27] | She’s a little crazy, she’s manic. | 她有一点疯狂 她很八卦 |
| [1:18:29] | I get that we’re in slow-down mode… | 我一直以为我们只是进展很慢而已 |
| [1:18:32] | …but I’m not gonna, like, meet your parents… | 但我发现你并不希望把我介绍给你父母 |
| [1:18:34] | …under the pretext of the gay friend. I mean, that’s ridic… | 以朋友当托辞 我觉得有点荒唐 |
| [1:18:38] | What? No, I don’t mean “meet your parents” meet your parents. | 哦 我并不是说希望你 直接把我介绍给你父母 |
| [1:18:41] | I just mean at the wedding, I’m sure I’ll casually bump into them… | 我只是说在婚礼那天 我很可能遇见你父母 |
| [1:18:44] | That’s… What? I’m sorry, excuse me one second. | 这 不好意思 麻烦等一下 |
| [1:18:47] | Dustin, you need to… What? What? | Dustin 你应该 怎么了?怎么了? |
| [1:18:49] | Yeah, what? What is it? What? Is something wrong? | 怎么了?怎么了? 我说错了什么吗? |
| [1:18:52] | Do you not want me to come? You’ve got it all… | 你不希望我参加婚礼吗? 你把全部都搞得 |
| [1:18:56] | You… You don’t want me to…? Wrong. | 你 你不想让我 ? 不是的 |
| [1:18:59] | Yeah, no. No. | 好的 我知道了 |
| [1:19:02] | Totally. You know what? Sorry. Dustin, I have to… | 完全了解 你知道什么了?不好意思 Dustin 我必须 |
| [1:19:05] | That was presumptuous. Promise me you won’t be upset… | 这太那个了 你要保证不会伤心 |
| [1:19:08] | …if I tell you something. Yeah, what? | 如果我告诉你的话 好的 说吧 |
| [1:19:10] | I’m seeing somebody. | 我有别人了 |
| [1:19:13] | And so I asked him to come with me to the wedding. | 我已经邀请他陪我出席婚礼了 |
| [1:19:19] | You’re… You’re upset. No. What? | 你真的 你真的伤心了 不 没有 |
| [1:19:22] | Upset? No. Why would I be upset? | 伤心?没有 我怎么会伤心呢 |
| [1:19:25] | Come on. That’s crazy. | 那也太疯狂了 |
| [1:19:27] | Like I’m a guy that gets upset. Come on. More like happy. | 搞的我会伤心一样的 哪有 我顶多是高兴 |
| [1:19:30] | You know? I’m happy that… That, you know. | 我高兴是因为 |
| [1:19:33] | That you found someone special. It still feels a little short. | 因为你找到了一个不一样的男人 我感觉还是稍微短了一点 |
| [1:19:36] | I still think that if you put the… | 我觉得你还是把它放 |
| [1:19:38] | So, dish. I just wanna make sure my… | 所以 亲爱的 我只是想让我的 |
| [1:19:40] | Who is he? | 他是谁? |
| [1:19:42] | Yeah, I think that’s too much shoe. | 恩 我觉得这样好多了 |
| [1:19:48] | Man-ischewitz, Sherman, look at you. | 很帅 Sherman 看看 |
| [1:19:51] | You remind me of me on my wedding day. | 你让我回想起了我结婚那天 |
| [1:19:54] | I was one nasty son of a bitch. | 我是一个让人讨厌的混蛋 |
| [1:19:58] | Dad, why did Mom marry you? Who makes this tux? Versace? | 爸 妈为什么会嫁给你? 谁做的这套礼服?是Versace吗? |
| [1:20:02] | Pop, come on. Fess up. Dad. Where’d you get this tux? | 得了 爸 快点招了吧 你哪买的这套礼服? |
| [1:20:04] | The black on black. Come on, Dad, really. | 黑的配黑的 得了 爸 说真的 |
| [1:20:10] | Your mother was an incredible woman… | 你妈是一个令人难以置信的女人 |
| [1:20:12] | …but she had awful judgment. | 但她拥有糟糕的判断力 |
| [1:20:16] | She was always trying to find the better man inside me. | 她总想找到一个比我更好的男人 |
| [1:20:18] | Unfortunately, she found him inside of her psychotherapist, Janine. | 很不幸 她遇见了她的精神治疗医师Janine |
| [1:20:23] | Not good. | 不妙哦 |
| [1:20:24] | See, I always knew that your mom was the best it was ever gonna get for me. | 一直以来 我觉得对我而言 你妈是最好的 |
| [1:20:28] | And I never asked the more important question, which is: | 但我从来没考虑过一个更重要的问题 那就是 |
| [1:20:32] | Was I the best it was ever gonna get for her? | 对她而言 我是不是最佳人选呢? |
| [1:20:38] | You’re not so bad, Pop. | 你也不算太糟糕呀 老爸 |
| [1:20:43] | I’m a fraud, Sherman. Yeah. | 我是个骗子 Sherman 事实如此 |
| [1:20:47] | And I’m a selfish asshole. | 我是一个自私的混蛋 |
| [1:20:55] | And so are you. | 你也是 |
| [1:20:58] | So I want you to get out there… | 所以我希望你能洗心革面 |
| [1:21:02] | …and I want you to revel in it. | 我希望你以后好好做人 |
| [1:21:26] | Oh, my God. Hi. | 哦 天呐 嗨 |
| [1:21:28] | You are hot as a pistol. You look handsome. | 你真漂亮 你也很帅 |
| [1:21:30] | No, you. I am very… I am so impressed with you. | 你 我也是 我深深的被你吸引 |
| [1:21:33] | …impressed. You look beautiful. | 深深的被你吸引 你真漂亮 |
| [1:21:36] | Do you like the red lipstick? I wanna do you right here. | 你喜欢红色的口红吗? 我真想就地了事儿 |
| [1:21:39] | Okay, I gotta go… Josh. | 我现在必须离开一会 Josh |
| [1:21:41] | My future brother-in-law. Josh, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Tank. | 我将来的姐夫 Josh 我向你引见我的男朋友 Tank |
| [1:21:45] | Hey, Josh. I’ll be your groom… | 嘿 Josh 我会一直陪着你 |
| [1:21:47] | …in today’s performance of Fuck Me, I’m Getting Married. | 在今天的婚礼上 哦 我马上要结婚了 |
| [1:21:50] | Okay, well, I’m gonna go tame Bridezilla. | 好的 我要去新娘那儿了 |
| [1:21:53] | You want me to come? Lex? No, I’ll look out for him. All right? | 要我也一起去吗?宝贝 不用了 我会帮你照看他的 |
| [1:21:56] | Just breathe for a second, all right? I am breathing. | 深呼吸一下 好吗? 我正在呼吸 |
| [1:21:59] | Now adapt. | 现在好了吧 |
| [1:22:00] | Are we adapting? Yeah. | 我们能配合好吧? 是的 |
| [1:22:02] | Are we ready to evolve? | 我们准备好了吧? |
| [1:22:04] | You let fly one word about our arrangement… | 如果你把我的糗事抖了出来 |
| [1:22:07] | …I will crush your nuts into butter. | 我会把你的 蛋蛋 挤成黄油 |
| [1:22:09] | Like the kind at the health-food store, but not so good for you. | 就像商店里卖的那种 这对你可不好 |
| [1:22:12] | But… But, but… | 但是 但是 但是 |
| [1:22:15] | …you play ball, I will plant your flag right next to mine. All right? | 你干什么 我都会罩着你的 |
| [1:22:19] | I will make you family. And believe me, Tank… | 我将会和你成为一家人 相信我 Tank |
| [1:22:21] | …you wanna be family. | 你也想成为一家人 |
| [1:22:25] | Money. Jesus Christ. | 钱 哦 上帝 |
| [1:22:27] | Like, “money” money. | 钱 |
| [1:22:29] | Old money, new money, fuck-me money, fuck-you money. | 旧钞票 新钞票 我他妈的钱 你他妈的钱 |
| [1:22:32] | Family money, money. | 整个家族的钱 钱 |
| [1:22:34] | Okay, yeah. Josh, you got me all wrong. | 得了 Josh 你把我想错了 |
| [1:22:37] | No. I know exactly who you are, all right? | 不 我清楚的知道你是什么样的人 |
| [1:22:40] | It’s Alexis who’s got you all wrong. | 是Alexis让你变的不对劲 |
| [1:22:43] | Let’s do what we do, brother. Hey, Merrilee. | 让我们做应该做的事 兄弟 嗨 Merrilee |
| [1:22:47] | Brian. Now, I’ve told you, fella… | Brian 他们和我谈起过你 小伙子 |
| [1:22:49] | …from here on out, it’s strictly Mom and Dad. | 从现在开始 你其实应该叫我们爸和妈了 |
| [1:22:52] | I’d like to introduce you to your next son-in-law, Tank Turner. | 我向你们介绍一下 你们的下一个女婿 Tank Turner |
| [1:22:55] | This is Alexis’ guy. | Alexis的男朋友 |
| [1:22:56] | I’ve heard so much about you. That is unfortunate. | 我早就听她们说起过你 那真是不幸 |
| [1:23:00] | Forget it all. | 忘了她们对我的 恶评 吧 |
| [1:23:02] | Tank. Hi. | Tank 嗨 |
| [1:23:07] | Tank Turner is an asshole. | Tank Turner是一个十足的混蛋 |
| [1:23:11] | You brought Satan to my wedding? Well, he’s changed. | 你带 撒旦 来参加我的婚礼? 好吧 他已经洗心革面了 |
| [1:23:14] | Or he’s going to change. Or he’s changing. | 或许他将要改变 或许他正在改变 |
| [1:23:16] | No. | 不是这样的 |
| [1:23:18] | I’m sorry, but that is not enough. | 不好意思 但那也不够 |
| [1:23:21] | Okay, maybe he’s this fun vacation on the dark side… | 可能他只是伪装出他好的样子 |
| [1:23:24] | Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, I’m falling in love with him. | Rachel Rachel Rachel 我爱上他了 |
| [1:23:27] | What? | 什么? |
| [1:23:29] | I love him. | 我爱他 |
| [1:23:40] | Hey, so… So many things that I want… | 嗨 有很多事情我想 |
| [1:23:43] | Oh, come here. | 哦 来这儿 |
| [1:23:50] | I gotta go. I’m going. I’m leaving. Go. | 我要走了 我要走了 我要离开一会儿 去吧 |
| [1:24:15] | Are you the best it’s ever gonna get for her? | 对她而言 你是最佳人选吗? |
| [1:24:29] | Are you? | 是吗? |
| [1:25:46] | If anyone here can show just cause why these two should not be joined… | 有人能给出一个他们不应该结婚的理由吗 |
| [1:25:49] | …let them speak now or forever hold their peace. | 要么现在说 要么永远不要说 |
| [1:25:55] | White dress. | 白礼服 |
| [1:25:57] | Chick’s seen more dick than this guy. | 刚出生的小鸡的 弟弟 也比这位仁兄的大 |
| [1:26:01] | Ridonculous. | 真他妈的搞笑 |
| [1:26:08] | I’ve been wanting to come over here because I was reminded of a joke. | 我过来是因为我想起了一个笑话 |
| [1:26:13] | A priest and a Rabbi are at a wedding. Who knew? | 一个牧师和一个拉比在一个婚礼上 谁知道呢? |
| [1:26:17] | And they see a small boy bending over to tie his shoe. | 他们看见一个小男孩在那趴着系鞋带 |
| [1:26:21] | So the priest says to the Rabbi: | 然后牧师对那个拉比说 |
| [1:26:23] | “God, I’d really love to screw that kid.” | 天啊 我真的很想操那个小男孩 |
| [1:26:26] | And then the Rabbi says, “Out of what?” | 然后那个拉比说 为什么呢? |
| [1:26:31] | It’s a visual thing, because the kid is basically like this. | 这很形象 因为那个小孩基本象这个样子 |
| [1:26:34] | He’s bending over. | 他背对着翘着屁股 |
| [1:26:38] | Dirty Houdini. You gotta try this. | 下流的Houdini 你应该尝试这样 |
| [1:26:40] | While you’re giving it to your lady from behind, okay? | 当你从后面对妞下手的时候 知道吗? |
| [1:26:44] | Very important. You gotta be behind her. | 非常重要 你得在她身后 |
| [1:26:46] | Start making some sounds like you’re gonna bust… | 发出要射的时候那种声音 |
| [1:26:48] | …then you pull out. | 然后你抽出来 |
| [1:26:49] | As you pull out, you let a little dribble of saliva trickle down… | 当你拔出来的时候 你淌些口水下去 |
| [1:26:53] | …onto the small of her back. She thinks it’s over, she flips over: | 在她的腰上 她以为你完事儿了 转过身 心想 |
| [1:26:56] | “Good, I can go to sleep.” | 好了 我终于能睡觉了 |
| [1:26:58] | Fireman’s hose. All over. | 消防员的水龙带 说完了 |
| [1:27:05] | I don’t get it. You don’t get it? | 我没听懂 你没听懂 |
| [1:27:07] | Here’s what you’re gonna do. Go ask your mom. Right there. Pound. | 现在你要做的 就是去请教你妈 就在那儿 Pound |
| [1:27:16] | Ready, and wow. | 准备好了吗?来吧 |
| [1:27:19] | It’s like lifting a coffin. | 这就像抬着个棺材一样 |
| [1:27:22] | Oh, Nana. You have a lead vagina. | 哦 祖母 你真他妈重 |
| [1:27:30] | Hello? Yeah, I can talk. | 哈罗?恩 我方便说话 |
| [1:27:37] | You weren’t gonna drink. Can’t have a glass… | 你不能再喝了 不能再喝一杯 |
| [1:27:39] | …to celebrate the holy sacrament? | 来庆祝这神圣的婚礼? |
| [1:27:41] | Is that J? Germeister I smell? I don’t know. | 是Jagermeister酒吗?我闻起来象是 我不知道 |
| [1:27:43] | Wine, huh? | 葡萄酒吗? |
| [1:27:47] | No. Don’t get into any trouble. | 不是 别再给我惹什么麻烦了 |
| [1:27:49] | I’m don’t-ing. I’m don’t-ing. Don’t get into any trouble. | 我没有啊 我没有 别再给我惹什么麻烦了 |
| [1:28:00] | For their first dance as a married couple… | 作为他们结婚后的第一支舞 |
| [1:28:03] | …l’d like to present to you Rachel and Josh. | 我向大家隆重的介绍 Rachel和Josh |
| [1:28:20] | Sorry. | 对不起 |
| [1:28:22] | Can I have this dance? | 我能同你跳支舞吗? |
| [1:28:24] | Not a good time? Okay. | 时机不对?好吧 |
| [1:28:25] | Sorry, everybody. This is their night. I’ll clean that up. It’s the chicken. | 对不起了 各位 今晚属于他们 我会把这儿打扫干净 这是鸡肉 |
| [1:28:31] | The bride and groom. | 新郎和新娘 |
| [1:28:39] | I’m gonna grab these. Clean. I washed them after I threw up. | 我想抓点儿这个 我手很干净的 我吐了以后洗过手了 |
| [1:28:42] | How are you? There’s a lot of talent here tonight, okay? | 你好吗?今天真是来了不少美女啊 |
| [1:28:45] | Lookit, lookit that one right over there. Check out the lungs on that one. | 看 看那边那个美女 抖动着她的巨乳 |
| [1:28:49] | That’s Rachel’s cousin. She’s 15. | 那是Rachel的表妹 她才15岁 |
| [1:28:52] | She’s gonna be a scuba diver when she grows up. | 她长大后绝对是 奶牛级 的 |
| [1:28:54] | Not that you don’t have some stuff going on. | 你的没那么大也没事 |
| [1:28:57] | I’d part you like the Red Sea and let you call me Moses. | 我可以 帮 你 你可以叫我Moses |
| [1:28:59] | I would open you up like a public pool on Memorial Day. | 我会把你 开发 的很棒的 |
| [1:29:02] | Three words: | 三个字 |
| [1:29:04] | Let’s eat. | 我们吃东西 |
| [1:29:06] | It’s okay, I got the sleeve. I caught it. | 没事了 我弄在袖子上了 我接住了 |
| [1:29:08] | Usually they come in twos and threes, so that’s… | 通常喷嚏会连着来那么两三个的 所以 |
| [1:29:14] | Cocaine, you know, just kind of gets me sneezy. | 可卡因 你知道吗 让我总是有点儿想打喷嚏 |
| [1:29:16] | And you, by the way, look lovely. I just wanted to… | 而你 顺便说一句 看起来挺可爱的 我有点想 |
| [1:29:20] | …say a hello to you. | 跟你打声招呼 |
| [1:29:27] | All right. | 好啦 |
| [1:29:33] | Weddings get me hot and hard, know what I’m saying? | 婚宴让我变得狂热和 坚挺 明白我的意思了吗? |
| [1:29:35] | What do you got going on? | 你接下来要干嘛? |
| [1:29:37] | I want that in my fucking mouth. | 我想帮你 吹箫 |
| [1:29:43] | When’s the last time you shit your pants? | 你上一次尿裤子是什么时候? |
| [1:29:45] | Today. Today. You shit your pants today? | 今天 就今天 你今天尿裤子了? |
| [1:29:48] | I shit my pants yesterday. Today! | 我昨天尿裤子了 今天! |
| [1:29:52] | Me, today. Just a little. But not a whole shit. | 我是今天 就尿了一点 没全尿出来 |
| [1:29:55] | Hey. Hey, Alexis sent me to look for you, so let’s go. | 嘿 嘿 Alexis让我来找你 走吧 |
| [1:29:59] | Let me just take a snapshot of you in my mind right now. | 先让我意淫一下你再说 |
| [1:30:02] | Gross. Fuck, I can smell you from here, dude. | 真恶心 我在这都能闻见你身上的酒气 帅哥 |
| [1:30:04] | How drunk are you right now? I had massive amounts of alcohol. | 你究竟喝了多少? 我应该喝了挺多的 |
| [1:30:08] | I’m embarrassed. But I’m sobering up now… | 我有点迷糊 不过我现在清醒过来了 |
| [1:30:11] | …and I feel better. Having a little chat. | 现在感觉好多了 一起聊会儿吧 |
| [1:30:13] | With my friend. Taking a breather. Breathing. | 和我朋友 休息会儿 |
| [1:30:18] | Fucking goddamn it. What do you call that shit, A.J.? | 靠 这是他妈什么烟 A J ? |
| [1:30:21] | AfghaniKush Kryptonite Afghani-Kush Kryptonite. | |
| [1:30:24] | Kryptonite. It killed Superman. I’m just a man. | Kryptonite 超人都扛不住 我只是个普通人 |
| [1:30:28] | You really are, like, a super special kind of asshole, aren’t you? | 你确实是一个超级另类的混蛋 不是吗? |
| [1:30:31] | I ride the special-kind-of-asshole bus. | 我还开着 另类混蛋 牌的汽车 |
| [1:30:33] | Do you really? All right. Okay. | 你真的是 好了好了 |
| [1:30:36] | One more bite. What are you doing? | 再吃最后一小口 你到底在干嘛呀? |
| [1:30:39] | Alexis is gonna freak out when she sees this. | Alexis看到的话 她又要崩溃了 |
| [1:30:41] | No she won’t. Yeah. Yeah. | 不会的 肯定会 |
| [1:30:43] | She’s understanding. Oh, my God, dude. | 她会谅解我的 哦 天呐 帅哥 |
| [1:30:45] | She’s never gonna forgive you. All right. I’m coming. I’m coming. | 她永远都不会原谅你的 好了好了 我就快完了 |
| [1:30:50] | What a day. Yeah. | 多么美好的时光啊 是啊 |
| [1:30:53] | May I partake? | 能给我一支吗? |
| [1:30:56] | My daughter got married today. | 我女儿今天出嫁了 |
| [1:30:59] | Wonderful. Oh, God, I feel old. | 真幸福 哎 我老了 |
| [1:31:03] | I bet back in the day, you were one hot slice of fuckberry pie. | 我打赌 你绝对算是个热火辣妹 |
| [1:31:11] | You bet your sweet ass I was. | 你用你的屁股赌的吧 |
| [1:31:17] | Hey. I love your shoes. | 嘿 鞋挺漂亮的 |
| [1:31:21] | So are we gonna do this or what? | 我们要不要来一炮? |
| [1:31:25] | Come on, it’s not gonna suck itself, Mama. | 来吧 它可不会自己 吸 哟 伯母 |
| [1:31:27] | Oh, my God. | 哦 天呐 |
| [1:31:29] | Who is this guy? | 这是谁啊? |
| [1:31:33] | And he’s ruining my entire wedding. | 他把我的整个婚礼都毁了 |
| [1:31:36] | He ruined my dance, my actual dance. | 他搞砸了我的舞 我的舞啊! |
| [1:31:39] | No, it’s ruined. And… Why did you bring him here? | 没用了 已经搞砸了 你为什么要带他过来? |
| [1:31:43] | It’s disgusting. | 真是恶心 |
| [1:31:47] | Oh, my God. Oh, my God. | 哦 天呐 真不敢相信 |
| [1:31:50] | Are you kidding me? He really…? | 没开玩笑吧? 他真的 ? |
| [1:31:56] | I got a bass-ackward way of showing it, but I care about you. | 或许我不太擅长于表达出来 但我其实是很关心你的 |
| [1:31:59] | Tank. Tank! How could you?! | Tank Tank!你怎么做得出来?! |
| [1:32:02] | My ex, Sarah. Cunt. | 我前女友Sarah 妈的 |
| [1:32:07] | Oh, no. You’re not gonna walk away from me. | 不行 你现在不准走 |
| [1:32:09] | You’re gonna talk to me. This is insane. | 你必须跟我说清楚 这太疯狂了 |
| [1:32:11] | Who is that person, huh? Who is that guy? | 刚才那个恶心男人是你吗? |
| [1:32:13] | This is me. I’m an asshole. | 这就是真实的我 我是个混蛋 |
| [1:32:16] | You had your chance with a good guy and you threw it away. | 你曾经拥有一个好男人 但你把他抛弃了 |
| [1:32:19] | Who? Dustin. | 是谁? Dustin |
| [1:32:20] | You have no right to tell me… No, Dustin. Dustin’s here. | 你没有权利跟我说 等下 Dustin Dustin来了 |
| [1:32:24] | Dustin Dustin? Dustin. Dustin? | |
| [1:32:26] | Dustin? Be careful. | Dustin? 小心 |
| [1:32:27] | Tank Tank! | |
| [1:32:39] | It’s time you all knew the truth. | 现在应该是大家了解真相的时候了 |
| [1:32:41] | Would you stop? If I go down, you’re coming with me, okay? | 你能住手吗?我得不到的东西 你也休想得到 明白吗? |
| [1:32:44] | Okay? So I’m sure every… | 明白吗?我知道大家 |
| [1:32:49] | Don’t touch. | 别碰我 |
| [1:32:52] | I would like to share something with you about Mr. Tank Turner. | 我要告诉大家一些 有关于Tank Turner先生的事 |
| [1:32:55] | Surely by now he’s charmed his way into your hearts… Stop. | 或许他现在给您一个不错的印象 别碰我 |
| [1:32:58] | Charmed his way into your hearts but I’ve got something to tell you. | 让您对他挺有好感 但我要告诉大家你所不知道的一面 |
| [1:33:01] | Tank Turner is a fraud. | Tank Turner是个大骗子 |
| [1:33:03] | Okay? Why don’t you take a walk with me? | 明白吗? 你为什么不和我一块跟大家说清楚? |
| [1:33:05] | Hey! Come with me, okay? Dustin. | 嘿!来呀 敢吗? Dustin |
| [1:33:08] | Would you guys like to know what this man…? Excuse me. | 你们想知道这个男人 ? 不好意思 |
| [1:33:11] | What this man does as a hobby? Stop. | 这个男人的爱好是干嘛吗? 住嘴 |
| [1:33:14] | You stop! You stop! Okay? Please. | 别拦着我!别拦着我!明白吗? 别闹了好吗 |
| [1:33:17] | Hold on. I’m sorry. | 等一下 对不起 |
| [1:33:18] | Let’s say, for example… | 我们这样来说 举个例子 |
| [1:33:22] | …I get dumped by my girl. | 我被我女朋友甩了 |
| [1:33:25] | And I want to pay him to go out with her… | 然后我就付钱 让他去跟那个女孩约会 |
| [1:33:30] | Oh, boy. …terrorize her… | 哦 兄弟 恐吓恶心那个女孩 |
| [1:33:32] | …and have her come screaming back into my arms. | 让那个女孩尖叫着 重回我的怀抱 |
| [1:33:37] | So your Mr. Perfect… | 所以说你们眼中的 完美先生 |
| [1:33:39] | Your Mr. Perfect… | 你们眼中的 完美先生 |
| [1:33:41] | …is actually Mr. AssholeDickhead-Shitface-Guy, okay? | 事实上是一个彻头彻尾的混蛋 明白了吗? |
| [1:33:48] | Alexis, l… l… I loved you so much. | Alexis 我 我 我是那么爱你 |
| [1:33:52] | I did. And I just, I couldn’t bear to lose you… | 真的很爱你 所以我 我无法忍受失去你的痛苦 |
| [1:33:57] | …and so I made a deal with the devil. | 所以我豁出去了 |
| [1:34:02] | That’s what I did. Which is pathetic. | 这就是我为什么要这么做 或许很可悲 |
| [1:34:06] | I’m a pathetic fool. Yeah, okay. | 我只是一个可怜虫 好的 我明白了 |
| [1:34:07] | But… But what does that make him? Okay, stop. Stop it. | 但是 但是他又比我好到哪里去了呢? 好的 别闹了 静一静 |
| [1:34:11] | Just tell me this isn’t true. | 不要告诉我这是真的 |
| [1:34:16] | Ask him. | 你问他 |
| [1:34:19] | Baby, sorry. You make me sick. | 宝贝 对不起 你真让我感到恶心 |
| [1:34:21] | Ask him. I hate you. | 问他 我恨死你了 |
| [1:34:26] | Ask him. I’m gonna kill you! | 再问他 我想弄死你! |
| [1:34:28] | I’m gonna kill you! | 我才要弄死你! |
| [1:34:30] | I work on referrals. Okay. | 是别人要我帮忙 我才去做的 好的 |
| [1:34:33] | You’re honestly gonna tell me… | 你坦白的告诉我 |
| [1:34:37] | …that you and I, that’s nothing? | 你对我 一点感情都没有吗? |
| [1:34:41] | That’s nothing? | 一点感情都没有吗? |
| [1:34:45] | I’m just a job? | 我只是你工作的一部分吗? |
| [1:34:48] | I need you to tell me. Tank, tell me right now… | 我要你告诉我 Tank 现在就告诉我 |
| [1:34:53] | …that I’m just a job. | 我只是你的工作的一部分吗 |
| [1:34:55] | Tell me to my face. You’re just a job. | 坦白的告诉我 你确实是 |
| [1:35:04] | Just a job. | 只是工作而已 |
| [1:35:06] | I never wanna see you again. | 我再也不想见到你 |
| [1:35:10] | Yeah. | 没问题 |
| [1:35:12] | Alexis Alexis. Alexis. | |
| [1:35:14] | I’m gonna kill you! | 弄死你! |
| [1:35:46] | Motherfucker. | 混蛋 |
| [1:36:09] | You have one new message. | 您有一条新的语音信息 |
| [1:36:13] | Dust, you were right. | Dust 你是对的 |
| [1:36:15] | Alexis is an angel… | Alexis是个天使般的女孩 |
| [1:36:17] | …and she deserves the best. | 她需要一个好男人 |
| [1:36:21] | And that’s you. So I’m sorry it took so long… | 而那个人就是你 很抱歉我拖了这么久 |
| [1:36:24] | …but I finally did what you hired me to do. | 但我最终还是下定决心 把她还给你 |
| [1:36:27] | I got a bass-ackward way of showing it, but I care about you. | 我可能不太善于表达 但是 我一直关心着你 |
| [1:36:30] | Tank. Tank! How could you?! | Tank Tank!你怎么能做得出来?! |
| [1:36:33] | My ex, Sarah. Cunt. | 我的前女友Sarah 妈的 |
| [1:37:09] | Did you love her? | 你爱过她吗? |
| [1:37:10] | Do you love her? That’s all I wanna know. | 你现在还爱她吗? 我想知道 |
| [1:37:14] | I don’t even know what that means. | 我甚至都不懂你什么意思 |
| [1:37:17] | Yeah. Well, apparently, neither do I. | 好吧 很显然 我也不爱她 |
| [1:37:20] | All I know is that me and her ends up with her hurt. | 我只知道我跟她分手了 |
| [1:37:23] | It’s inevitable. | 必然的 |
| [1:37:25] | Turners and women, right, Pop? | Turners和女人们 对吗 爸? |
| [1:37:27] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [1:37:31] | I banged a lot of women, Sherman. | 我干过很多妞 Sherman |
| [1:37:34] | I’ve been banging since back in the day… | 当你整理她们的照片时 |
| [1:37:36] | …when you were laminating pictures of them. | 我仿佛回到了从前 |
| [1:37:39] | So, yeah, that’s me. | 所以说 那就是我 |
| [1:37:42] | That’s this guy, but that ain’t you. No. | 但那是我 不是你 不是你 |
| [1:37:45] | Last night, you proved something that I have long feared. | 昨晚 我证实了我长久以来所担心的事 |
| [1:37:48] | And that is… | 那就是 |
| [1:37:50] | …you may just take after your mother. | 你真的很像你妈 |
| [1:37:54] | Yeah, I can’t believe you actually tried to give Alexis up for me. | 确实 我也不相信你真的为了我 愿意放弃Alexis |
| [1:37:59] | I know, dude. | 我知道 老兄 |
| [1:38:00] | That’s pretty fucked up, right? Yeah. | 这真的很操蛋 是吗? 确实 |
| [1:38:02] | I mean, if that’s not love… | 我是说 如果那都不算爱 |
| [1:38:05] | Yeah, I’m sorry, man. | 额 对不起 |
| [1:38:07] | I’m sorry. I’m the guy who… | 我才该说对不起 我才是那个 |
| [1:38:12] | You were my best friend. | 你是我最好的兄弟 |
| [1:38:15] | I still am. | 一直都是 |
| [1:38:18] | You guys gonna make out now, huh? | 你们又和好如初了? |
| [1:38:20] | Go ahead, stick your tongue in his mouth. That’ll clear the air. | 不错 你们继续谈谈心 这样才能消除误会 |
| [1:38:26] | How about a…? | 要不? |
| [1:38:35] | Look, I know I kind of lost it for a while, but now I’m seeing things clearly. | 我知道我曾经不太理智 但现在我想清楚了 |
| [1:38:39] | You need to get her back. | 你应该把她追回来 |
| [1:38:43] | But I don’t deserve her. No, you… Tank. | 但我配不上她 不 你 Tank |
| [1:38:46] | If you were willing to give her up, you deserve her. | 你都愿意为了她选择放弃 你是配得上她的 |
| [1:38:49] | That’s fucked up, but you’re right. | 我操 你是对的 |
| [1:38:53] | She’s my angel and it’s time she knew. | 她是我的天使 是时候让她知道我的真心 |
| [1:38:56] | Yes. So, what’s stopping you? | 好的 你现在还有什么问题呢? |
| [1:38:58] | I propositioned her mother for a blowjob. | 我曾经跟她妈说 让她帮我吹箫 |
| [1:39:01] | Man, that is great. | 靠 太强了 |
| [1:39:04] | That is so great. Yes. | 太牛逼了 |
| [1:39:07] | Alexis! Alexis, wait. | Alexis!Alexis 等等我 |
| [1:39:10] | Alexis Alexis. | |
| [1:39:12] | Just hear me out, all right? Listen. | 听我说完好吗?听我解释啊 |
| [1:39:14] | Nope. Nope. Nope. | 不听 不听 不听 |
| [1:39:17] | I did it for you. | 我是为了你才这么做的 |
| [1:39:19] | I pushed you away because I thought I didn’t deserve you. | 我把你推开是因为我觉得我配不上你 |
| [1:39:22] | You don’t. So I made a mistake. | 你是配不上 所以说我错了嘛 |
| [1:39:25] | Many. I know. | 我做了太多错事 我知道 |
| [1:39:28] | I will never do better than you. I know. | 我总是做得没你好 我知道 |
| [1:39:30] | I need you in my life. I know. | 我需要你 我知道 |
| [1:39:32] | And I wanna apologize. I don’t want it. | 所以我要向你道歉 我不想听 |
| [1:39:36] | Good, because it’s not for you. | 没事 因为我不是向你道歉 |
| [1:39:38] | I wanna apologize to myself. | 我要对我自己道歉 |
| [1:39:41] | I’m sorry, Tank, that you blew it with Alexis. | 对不起 Tank 你把Alexis惹火了 |
| [1:39:45] | But you did. Because I thought you deserved… | 但你确实把我惹火了 那是因为我觉得你应该 |
| [1:39:47] | …someone better than me. | 有一个更好的归宿 |
| [1:39:49] | But when I’m with you, it’s like I’m better than me. | 但我发现当我跟你在一起的时候 我就像变了一个人 |
| [1:39:53] | You’re the only person that could ever make me do cardio. And I hate cardio. | 你是唯一一个能让我做有氧运动的人 我向来不喜欢有氧运动 |
| [1:39:57] | I wanna faint, I want a cigarette and I have a massive cramp. | 我现在气都喘不过来 我想抽支烟 我现在是腰酸背疼腿抽筋的 |
| [1:40:01] | But I would run a marathon for you. | 但是为了你 就算再跑个马拉松 我也愿意 |
| [1:40:09] | Okay. Fuck me. | 好吧 杀了我吧 |
| [1:40:11] | You ruined my sister’s wedding. | 你把我姐姐的婚礼搞得一团糟 |
| [1:40:13] | But I saved her life. That guy was a fucking fuckface. | 其实我是 挽救 了她呀 那哥们可是一个十足的混蛋 |
| [1:40:17] | You curse incessantly. I will never swear again. | 你一直在说脏话 我以后绝对不说了 |
| [1:40:21] | Fuck. Last one. | 操 最后一次 |
| [1:40:23] | My parents hate you. Well, they’ll come around. | 我爸妈都很讨厌你 他们会原谅我的 |
| [1:40:26] | Except your mother. | 你妈不算 |
| [1:40:28] | And your dad. | 你爸也不算 |
| [1:40:29] | Your job is a joke. A joke? I sell air. | 你的工作真是在搞笑 搞笑?我在创造 奇迹 呀 |
| [1:40:32] | I do the impossible every day. | 我每天都在创造着 奇迹 |
| [1:40:34] | Have you ever even read a book? | 你真的有读过一本书吗? |
| [1:40:36] | The Giving Tree The Giving Tree. | |
| [1:40:38] | And…? Among others. Countless others. | 还有呢 ? 还有很多其它的 数都数不过来 |
| [1:40:41] | Tank. I’ll join a book club. | Tank 我会加入一个读书俱乐部的 |
| [1:40:44] | What’s the matter? You can’t keep up? | 怎么了? 你跑不动了? |
| [1:40:48] | You are not passionate about anything. | 你对什么都只有三天的热情 |
| [1:40:51] | Except you. I’m passionate about you. As evidence, consider the fact… | 你除外 我对你始终充满了热情 作为证据 你看 |
| [1:40:55] | …that I’ve been running for two goddamn hours. | 我都跟着你跑了两个小时了 |
| [1:40:57] | I need to stop and rest. You sabotage dates. | 我必须停下来休息会儿 你故意搞砸约会 |
| [1:41:00] | You’re a professional asshole. That’s what you do. | 你是一个十足的混蛋 这就是你的真实嘴脸 |
| [1:41:02] | No. It’s what I did. | 没有啊 那都是过去的事儿了 |
| [1:41:06] | Tank, I just don’t think you’re the one. | Tank 我只是觉得你不是 我心目中的 白马王子 |
| [1:41:12] | Not yet, but I’ll get there. | 或许现在不是 但我会做到的 |
| [1:41:28] | You okay? | 你还好吗? |
| [1:42:42] | Without air, we cannot live. | 没有了空气 我们无法呼吸 |
| [1:42:47] | I think those words resonate with people… | 我觉得这样的话能让人产生共鸣 |
| [1:42:49] | …because they’re really true, you know? | 因为它说的很有道理 |
| [1:42:58] | What? | 怎么了? |
| [1:43:00] | I thought… I thought that was a joke. | 我觉得 我觉得有点搞笑 |
| [1:43:03] | It wasn’t. What are you talking about? Nothing. | 没有啊 你在说些什么呢? 没什么 |
| [1:43:07] | Air? | 空气? |
| [1:43:09] | Because I don’t really think there’s anything funny about air. | 因为我觉得关于空气没什么好笑的啊 |
| [1:43:12] | It’s kind of too important. | 挺重要的啊 |
| [1:43:24] | Asshole. | 混蛋 |
| [1:43:29] | Hi. Hi. | 嗨 嗨 |
| [1:43:30] | I’m Alexis. Hi. | 我是Alexis 嗨 |
| [1:43:32] | Do you wanna know what this guy did? He humiliated me. | 你想知道有关于这个男人的一切吗? 他让我蒙羞 |
| [1:43:34] | He embarrassed me. He literally… Alexis. | 他让我感到难堪 他简直 Alexis |
| [1:43:37] | I’m having a conversation. | 没看我正在说话吗 |
| [1:43:38] | I’m having a conversation. It’s with her, it’s not with you. | 我正在跟她说话 不是跟你说话 |
| [1:43:42] | What this guy did to me makes me sick every day. | 这个男人的所作所为 让我每天都恶心 |
| [1:43:45] | Physically ill. | 身体不适 |
| [1:43:46] | But is that like lovesickness or like hatesickness? | 但是到底是相思病呢 还是怒火攻心? |
| [1:43:49] | No, it’s like morning sickness. What? | 都不是 更像是晨吐 什么? |
| [1:43:53] | Yeah, I’m pregnant, okay? So I’m sorry. | 是的 我是怀孕了 所以对不起 |
| [1:43:57] | It makes me a little emotional. | 这让我有点情绪化 |
| [1:43:59] | You’re pregnant? Yes, I’m fucking pregnant! | 你怀孕了? 是的 我是他妈怀孕了! |
| [1:44:03] | I probably should go. | 我觉得我该走了 |
| [1:44:05] | But how? It’s… | 但是?怎么会 |
| [1:44:07] | How do you think? | 那你觉得呢? |
| [1:44:09] | That’s right, everybody. | 是啊 大家来看啊 |
| [1:44:11] | This asshole got me pregnant. | 就是这个他妈的混蛋把我搞大的 |
| [1:44:16] | I definitely think I should go. Okay, I didn’t know. I didn’t know. | 我觉得我真的该走了 好了 我不知道啊 我不知道啊 |
| [1:44:19] | If you think that’s bad… | 或许大家觉得这就已经够糟了 |
| [1:44:21] | …you should hear what this guy did to my sister. | 但如果你知道他对我妹妹也做过的 |
| [1:44:23] | Alexis, I’ve apologized a million times. He got her pregnant too. | Alexis 我都道过一万次歉了 他把她也搞大了 |
| [1:44:29] | So there’s two of us having a baby together… | 所以我们两个都有了 |
| [1:44:32] | …about three and a half weeks apart. | 也就隔着几个星期吧 |
| [1:44:35] | Yeah. It was dark, I was drunk… | 恩 天太黑了 我当时又喝醉了 |
| [1:44:37] | …and I thought it was you. | 我当时还以为是你 |
| [1:44:39] | Right? | 是吗? |
| [1:44:44] | I’m gonna go now. It was nice meeting you. | 我必须走了 很高兴见到你 |
| [1:44:47] | Yeah, nice to meet you too. | 我也很高兴见到你 |
| [1:44:51] | What’s going on here? | 现在该怎么继续? |
| [1:44:53] | Oh, I’m just saving another girl… | 哦 我刚才又拯救了一个女孩 |
| [1:44:56] | …from the worst sex she’ll ever have in her life. | 否则她会经历她一生最烂的性生活 |
| [1:45:03] | Well, your mother never complained. | 这 你妈都没抱怨过我的 |
| [1:45:07] | You wanna know why I didn’t return your e-mails? | 你知道我为什么不回你的邮件吗? |
| [1:45:11] | Your pathetic calls? | 也不回你的电话? |
| [1:45:14] | You are unattractive. I said it. | 你一点魅力都没有 我说过的 |
| [1:45:19] | I’m not attractive. Well, let’s put it this way. | 恩 我是没有魅力 这样吧 |
| [1:45:22] | I would kick your ass right now, but my foot might get sucked in. | 我现在踢你的屁股 但我的脚可能会陷进去 |
| [1:45:27] | I’d kick your dick right now, but my foot might get herpes. | 我现在踢你的 小弟弟 但我的脚可能会长脓包 |
| [1:45:32] | Well, you know, you can stop trying to be clever, Alexis. | 哦 你不用再费力了 Alexis |
| [1:45:35] | The funniest thing that’ll ever come out of you is me. | 我就是你的快乐之源 |
| [1:45:39] | All right, Tank. | 好吧 Tank |
| [1:45:41] | You got the best joke here. | 你最搞笑的地方 |
| [1:45:45] | And it’s in your pants. | 就在你的裤裆里 |
| [1:45:57] | I hate you. I hate you too. | 嗯讨厌 你才讨厌 |
| [1:46:00] | Oh, baby. | 哦 宝贝儿 |