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英美剧电影台词站

Miss March(三月女郎)[2009]电影台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on June 16, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on Miss March(三月女郎)[2009]电影台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
电影名称:三月女郎
英文名称:Miss March
年代:2009

推荐:千部英美剧台词本阅读
时间 英文 中文
[00:47] Careful, tucker. 当心点 塔克
[00:49] The floor is hot lava. You can’t 这地板就像是熔岩
[00:52] touch the ground on your foul up. 你别把它弄脏了
[00:54] We gotta get to craig’s room to get 我们要在克雷格发现之前
[00:56] the treasure before he find out. 去他房间找到他的宝藏
[00:57] – what’s the treasure? – craig just -什么宝藏 -克雷格刚…
[00:59] got a michael jordan’s rookie card. 得到了迈克尔·乔丹的新手收集卡
[01:00] It cost him, like, a hundred bucks. 这花了他好几百呢
[01:06] Did you know that michael jordan’s 你知道迈克尔·乔丹
[01:08] first year in the bulls. 第一年为公牛队效力期间
[01:09] Michael jordan had 138 rebounds? 迈克尔·乔丹抢到了138个篮板球吗
[01:12] – Yeah.- But you know who the bulls rebound leader is,though? -知道 -那你知道谁是公牛队的篮板王吗
[01:15] – Yeah. scottie pippen. – Yeah. -当然 -斯科蒂·皮蓬
[01:18] – Where’s the card? – It’s in the closet in a shoe box. -卡片在哪 -在橱里的鞋盒里
[01:24] He’s got the michael jordan’s rookie card and a Hank Aaron card. 他得到了迈克尔·乔丹和汉克·阿伦的卡片
[01:27] It’s not in mint condition, but it’s a good card. 它有些破旧了 不过它还是张很棒的卡片
[01:32] – Oh, my god. – what? -天哪 -什么
[01:34] – Your brother’s got a playboy. – no, he doesn’t. -你哥哥居然有《花花公子》 -不 他没有
[01:38] – What’s a playboy? – A magazine with naked ladies. -什么是《花花公子》 -一本都是裸体女性的杂志
[01:41] What? He doesn’t have that. 什么 他从来不看那些
[01:43] Look. dude, i think your brother can go to jail for this. 老兄 我觉得你哥该为这个进监狱了
[01:47] Shut up. Don’t open it. 闭嘴 别看它
[01:54] Is that what girls look like? 女孩们原来就是那样的吗
[01:56] They look so weird. 她们看上去真奇怪
[01:58] How do they pee? 她们怎么尿尿
[02:00] It must come out of those. 一定是从这里出来
[02:02] Gross. 真恶心
[02:06] Look at that one. 快看那个
[02:08] Tucker, you just stepped on hot 塔克 你踩到熔岩地板了
[02:09] lava. You’re on fire. 你麻烦大了
[02:11] Whatever. 无所谓
[02:23] Look at the ass on that thing. 看那女孩的屁股
[02:26] – Helllo. – what? -我要泡她 -什么
[02:29] You could bounce a quarter off that sweet turd-cutter. 那美臀肯定弹力十足
[02:32] Tucker, stop it. 塔克 别这样
[02:34] That’s eleanore, our friend. 艾玲娜是我们的朋友
[02:36] Her mom’s my piano teacher. 她母亲是我的钢琴老师
[02:38] Oh, man. I want her to french-kiss my dick so bad. 真想让她给我口交
[02:42] Oh, my god. 真是疯了
[02:50] Jenny’s tits are the exact same size as miss november’s. 珍妮的乳房尺寸都和十一月小姐的一样了
[02:53] – I don’t care. – This means that -跟我没关系 -这说明
[02:55] this is what jenny would looks like naked. 这就是珍妮裸体时候的样子
[02:57] – That’s amazing. – That is amazing. -那还真惊人 -确实很惊人
[03:00] – Hi, stacy. – Drop dead. -丝塔茜 -去死吧
[03:02] – Hi, sheila. – Eat me, tucker. -夏拉 -想吃了我吗 塔克
[03:04] Set the time and place. The two of you can eat shit and die. 选个时间地点怎么样 你们俩都可以去死了
[03:07] Sheila! 夏拉
[03:09] Thank you. 我真该感谢你
[03:10] You know she’s friends with Cindi. 你知道她是辛迪的朋友
[03:11] Now she’s gonna tel l her i’m gonna hear all about. Good job. 她一定会告诉她所有事 你干的好事
[03:14] Relax. Your girlfriend’s gonna know 放轻松 你的女朋友会知道
[03:16] it wasn’t you. She knows your are the…… 那不是你的干的 她知道你是最诚实的
[03:18] Hey, candace. Looking good. 坎蒂斯 你今天看起来真不错
[03:20] Heard you went on the pill. 听说你还在吃那药
[03:26] What the fuck did you just say to me? 你他妈的说我什么
[03:29] Nothing. I-I didn’t say anything. 不 没有 我没说什么
[03:36] Candace, uh, sorry. I won’t go out with you. 坎蒂斯 抱歉 我不想和你去约会
[03:39] I just,I don’t dig handicapped chicks. 我只是 我对有生理缺陷的人没兴趣
[03:43] I have epilepsy, you limp-dicked shit. 我有羊癫疯 而你他妈的阳痿
[03:45] I’m not handicapped. It’s a condition. 我生理没缺陷 只是暂时的
[03:47] Tucker, if you so much as make eye contact with me again, 塔克 如果你再敢多看我一眼
[03:52] My brother wil l kill you. 我哥哥一定会杀了你
[03:54] He’s a fire fighter, and they’re crazy. 他是个消防员 他疯起来会要你命
[03:56] Okay, okay.Deal. deal. deal. 好好好 成交 成交
[04:02] Geez. What a bitch. 天哪 真是个臭婊子
[04:06] – What was that? – Nothing. I didn’t say anything. -你说什么 -不 我什么都没说
[04:16] Man, why do you even do these sermons? 哥们儿 你为什么老去参加那些说教
[04:19] They don’t even paid it. 他们都不付钱
[04:21] Tucker, I have told you. 塔克 我告诉过你
[04:23] They’re not sermons,they’re seminars. 那不是说教 那是研讨会
[04:26] I do them because i believe in them, and 我做这些事因为我觉得值得
[04:28] I think kids need to hear these message. 我相信孩子们需要了解这些信息
[04:30] I wish my brother had had a seminar like this. 我希望我的哥哥也能听听
[04:43] And now i’d like to bring up eugene 现在我很荣幸地请上尤金·贝尔
[04:46] bell and Cindi Whitehall 和辛迪·怀特霍尔
[04:48] A young couple who will be graduating from our high school this year. 一对今年将要从我们学校毕业的情侣
[04:53] Let’s give a nice, warm jefferson county middle school welcome. 让我们抱以最大的热情
[04:58] To eugene and cindi. 欢迎尤金和辛迪
[05:03] Come on! 鼓掌阿
[05:08] Hey, gang. 朋友们
[05:10] We’re here today to talk to you about one of the 我们今天要讲的是关于
[05:12] most important decision that you can make. 如何做出最优的人生决策
[05:14] Now, I know at your age you guys probably 我知道你们这个年纪可能
[05:16] think all the older guys are out there having sex. 会开始思考大人的性爱
[05:20] But cindi and I… 但辛迪和我
[05:22] Have been in a relationship for two and a half years now, 已经恋爱了两年半
[05:25] A nd we’ve decided to save ourselves for marriage. 我们决定把我们的初夜留到结婚
[05:28] That’s right, eugene. 没错 尤金
[05:29] We have a happy, healthy romance, 我们有一段快乐而单纯的罗曼史
[05:32] And we don’t need intercourse to prove that. 我们不需要靠性爱来证明它
[05:35] I’d like to tell you guys a story right now if i can. 我很想告诉你们一个故事
[05:38] This is a true story that happened to my older brother. 一个真实的发生在我哥哥身上的故事
[05:42] Craig was a nice, normal kid, 克雷格曾经是个普通的孩子
[05:44] just like me or you. 就如你们和我一样
[05:46] Then one night, he and his girlfriend of two years… 某天晚上 他和他交往了两年的女友
[05:51] decided to go all the way. 决定去开房
[05:54] It was craig’s first time having sex, 这是克雷格的第一次
[05:56] And he thought, hey, what’s the worst thing they could happen. 他想 会发生什么最糟糕的事呢
[05:59] He thought they were sharing something very special. 他以为他们在分享非常特别的东西
[06:02] But what she was sharing with him was syphilis. 但是她带给他的是梅毒
[06:04] He got syphilis. 他得了梅病
[06:07] Then she got pregnant, and because she smoked cigarettes… 然后她怀孕了 但由于她吸烟
[06:11] The baby came out a crackhead. 他们得到了一个怪胎
[06:15] The once-happy couple soon broke up. 以前的美好时光一去不复返
[06:17] Craig had to drop out of high school and 克雷格被勒令退学
[06:19] work two jobs for keep up the child support payments and the medical bills. 他为了孩子的医药费打两份工
[06:22] But it didn’t stop there. 但更糟糕的还没来
[06:25] One afternoon while my mother was babysitting for craig, 一天下午当我母亲给克雷格看孩子的时候
[06:27] the baby set the house on fire. 那孩子让房子着火了
[06:29] Because he was a crackhead. 因为他是个怪胎
[06:32] My mother and little nephew died in that blaze, 我母亲和怪胎侄子都死于那场火灾
[06:35] And the grief from that, 更令人悲伤的是
[06:37] along with the advanced stage of syphilis 随着梅毒的进一步扩散
[06:38] Which put an enormous amount of pressure on craig from the lobe 让克雷格终于承受不住这一切
[06:41] Drove him insane. 他疯了
[06:43] Today eugene’s brother sits in a padded cell… 现在 尤金的哥哥在精神病院里
[06:46] Doing nothing but eating his own feces- 他的生活就是吃他自己的粪便
[06:49] And regretting the one time… 并且不停地悔恨那一次
[06:51] That he had sex. 他仅有的性爱
[06:55] Here, buddy. 拿着 老兄
[06:58] Lights, please. 请关上灯
[07:00] This is a venereal disease. 这就是性病
[07:28] Hey. I’m in the tree. 我在树上呢
[07:39] – Are your parents asleep? – Yeah, they just went to bed. -你父母都睡了吗 -他们刚睡
[07:42] Hey, so tucker told me about this awesome party 塔克告诉我这个周末有个很棒的聚会
[07:43] this weekend we have to dance 我们必须跳舞
[07:45] I think we should totally go. 我想我们真应该去
[07:47] You want to go to a party with tucker after prom? 你想在舞会之后和塔克去聚会吗
[07:51] Yeah. I mean, that’s- that’s what people do, right? 没错 人们不都是这样做的吗
[07:54] Eugene, did you think about what we talked about? 尤金 你有想过我们之前说的那些吗
[07:58] Uh, yeah, you know, I did think about it. 当然了 我确实考虑过的
[08:01] But, like, I think I need a little bit more time 但是我觉得我需要更多点的时间
[08:03] just to work I think may had 去做好充分准备
[08:05] Like a month or just a couple of weeks, 比如一个月 或者几周
[08:08] cause there’s, like, a lot of factors. 因为这牵涉到很多事情
[08:10] Eugene, I love you. We’ve been 尤金 我爱你 我们已经
[08:12] going out for two and a half years. 谈了2年的恋爱了
[08:14] – I think we’re ready. – That’s what sandra said to craig. -我认为是时候了 -那是桑德拉对克雷格说的
[08:17] Oh, will you stop talking about your 你就不能忘了你那
[08:19] crazy brother? That was fool. 疯了的哥哥吗 那太愚蠢了
[08:21] My younger sister has sex all the time, 我妹妹总是不停地做爱
[08:23] and neither of her baby was a crackhead. 她的孩子没有一个是怪胎
[08:25] Cindi, I can’t believe what i’m hearing right now. 辛迪 我没有听错吧
[08:28] What about the seminar? what about everything 那讲座呢 我们下午在讲座上
[08:30] we said to those kids afternoon. 讲给那些孩子听的那些呢
[08:32] I don’t think that 15-year-old kids should be having sex. 我不认为15岁的孩子该有性爱
[08:35] You have to wait until you find that special someone. 除非你找到你生命中的另一半
[08:38] But, eugene, you are my special someone. 但尤金 你就是我的另一半
[08:41] And if I’m not yours, then I think that we have 如果我还不是你的人 我就觉得我们
[08:44] a whole other set of problems to worry about. 还有许多其它问题要担心
[08:48] I’m gonna go to bed. 我要去睡了
[08:50] I’ll call you tomorrow. 我明天再打给你
[08:54] Cindi, wait. 等一下
[08:59] I’ll have sex with you on prom night. 那就舞会那晚干吧
[09:02] You promise? 你确定
[09:05] I promise I’ll have sex with you on prom night. 我保证那晚一定和你做
[09:08] I love you, eugene. 我爱你 尤金
[09:10] I love you, cindi. 我爱你 辛迪
[09:25] Five hours till you’re chode deep. 离你觉醒还有五小时奥
[09:27] Yes, I know that. Thank you. 我知道 谢谢提醒
[09:29] Are you excite? Areyou excite? 你兴奋吗 你兴奋了吗
[09:31] Yes, I’m very excite. 是 我很兴奋
[09:33] – Did you shave your cock yet? – What? -你刮阴毛了吗 -什么
[09:36] You gotta shave your cock. 你得先刮阴毛
[09:38] It makes it look bigger. 这会让它看上去更大
[09:39] Really? Why?I’m not shaving my cock. 你胡说什么 我才不会刮阴毛呢
[09:42] You have to. you gonna have shaved balls and a hairy cut? 你必须得刮 炮弹铮亮 炮管却粗糙 看起来会很怪
[09:45] I’m not shaving my balls either. 我一个都不会做的
[09:47] – oh, my god. – tucker, I’ve got this, okay? -老天阿 -塔克 我知道该怎么办
[09:50] Eugene, no, you don’t got this. 尤金 不 你不明白
[09:53] Look, man, I’ve already slept with 12 women. 伙计 我都和12个女人上过床了
[09:55] That’s punish will like stealing in some countries. 那在一些国家简直就是犯罪
[09:57] – That’s great, tucker. – That is great. -那很好 -很好
[10:00] And I’ve only been having sex for 我才只有2年的性爱史
[10:01] two years. That’s six women a year. 就是说一年六个
[10:03] Do you know what that means? 你知道那意味着什么吗
[10:05] That means in 10 years, I’ll have banged, like, 600 chicks. 就是说10年内 我得上600个妞
[10:08] Did you get the limo? I’m supposed 你搞定轿车了吗 我得
[10:10] to pick cindi up in half an hour. 在一个半小时内去接辛迪
[10:11] Horsedick.mpeg’s got it. 包在巨炮-MPEG身上了
[10:13] He’s picking you up. 已经给你送去了
[10:15] Who is horsedick.mpeg? 谁是巨炮-MPEG
[10:16] That’s phil, man. That’s his m.c. name. 那是菲尔 那是他外号
[10:19] – Phil’s m.c. name is horsedick? – Dot-mpeg. -菲尔的外号是巨炮吗 -再加个MPEG
[10:22] Dot-mpeg. That is so ridiculous. MPEG 那真是滑稽
[10:24] Dude, you are so white. and what’s with this attitude? 你太纯洁了 这状态怎么行
[10:27] This is gonna be the best night of your life. 这将是你生命中最美好的夜晚
[10:30] Look, I’m not even sure I’m ready to be 我并没确定我真的准备做这事
[10:32] doing this. Give me a hopeful advice. 给我个有用的建议吧
[10:34] Do you have any tips on how I can make this 你有没有什么点子好让我完成这个
[10:36] a wonderful, romanting and everything she wants it to be? 浪漫激情的夜晚 让她觉得完全享受
[10:40] Shave your cock. 刮阴毛
[10:45] Hold on. I think the limo’s here. 等下 车好像来了
[10:48] Oh, you gotta be kidding me. 你一定在耍我
[10:56] Oh man, An’t I seen this motherfucker in, like, quite form limb is someting. 我可不想带这个混蛋进去 看上去好怂
[11:01] I didn’t know they let people that dropped out of high school go to prom. 我不知道高中辍学的人可以参加舞会
[11:06] You’re stupid! You’re stupid! 你个蠢驴
[11:09] No, crystal’s still in high school. 不 克里斯托还在念书
[11:11] I also didn’t know they let freshmen go to prom. 我也不知道新生可以去舞会
[11:15] Well, they’re gonna let us in there 当我巨炮-MPEG出现时
[11:16] when horsedick.mpeg rose up. 他们就会让我们进了
[11:18] I’m about to sign me a quick deal. 我马上就能签演艺约了
[11:21] Horsedick’s got a song on the internet! 巨炮-MPEG有首歌在网上很红
[11:25] The internet. wow. 网上
[11:27] You know how many motherfuckers use the internet? 你知道有多少混蛋在用吗
[11:30] I know a lot do. 我知道有很多
[11:32] Half of them! I’m talk in about thousands and thousands of motherfuckers. 一半 我是说成千上万的混蛋
[11:36] And now my shit is up there. whoo! we celebratin’. 现在我红了 我们庆祝下吧
[11:41] Um, hey, horsedick? 巨炮
[11:43] -MPEG -MPEG – dot-m peg! – dot-m peg.
[11:46] Sorry. 抱歉
[11:48] Would you mind turning the music down just a 你介意把音乐调低些吗
[11:50] bit? Bcause we almost my girlfriend’s house. 我们就要到我女朋友家了
[11:51] You can’t turn horsedick.mpeg down. 你竟敢把我巨炮-MPEG的歌调低
[11:54] This is my shit. I made this. 这是我的歌 我想怎样就怎样
[12:24] Hi, cindi. hi, mr. and mrs. whitehall. 你们好 辛迪 怀特霍尔先生 夫人
[12:28] That’s some ride you’ve got there, eugene. 还真是辆不错的车 尤金
[12:31] Thank you. 谢谢
[12:34] So, there won’t be any drinking going on tonight,will there! 今晚不准喝酒 对吧
[12:38] No, sir. not at all. 当然不会 先生
[12:40] Let me get a picture of the two of you. 让我帮你们拍张照片
[12:46] Oh, horsedick, you are nasty! 巨炮 你真坏
[12:55] Come on, get in the car, baby! 快进来 亲爱的
[12:59] Come here, motherfucker. 快过来 混蛋
[13:38] I’m sorry. 抱歉
[13:40] I’m sure this is not as romantic as 我肯定这不是
[13:42] you probably enviow. all right! 你所期待的浪漫场景
[13:44] Hey, everybody! 朋友们
[13:46] Denise is so wasted, she’s blowing brian in the den. 迪尼斯太浪费了 她在休息室里给布莱恩吹箫
[13:52] – I’m gonna go get the keys to the master bedroom. – okay. -我去拿主房的钥匙 -好的
[13:59] – Meet me upstairs in five minutes? – Sure. -5分钟后楼上见 -好
[14:09] Dude! where’s cindi? 老兄 辛迪呢
[14:11] Shouldn’t you be banging her out by now? 你现在不应该跟她在乱搞吗
[14:13] I’m about to bang her out. 马上就去了
[14:15] She just went upstairs. 她已经上楼了
[14:17] yet you look like you’re going a funeral. 你怎么看上去像是要参加葬礼
[14:18] Tucker, I’m just dealing with this in my own way. 塔克 我想用自己的方式处理
[14:21] “dealing with this”? you’re not 处理这事
[14:22] going upstairs to have a suggery. 你不是上去受罪的
[14:24] You’re going upstairs to have sex! with a girl! 你是上去和一个女孩做爱
[14:27] And yeah, she may not be the most attractive 虽然她可能不是学校里
[14:30] girl in school, but she’s seven. 最迷人的女孩 但她是个处女
[14:32] What? she’s a seven? 什么 她是个”七”
[14:34] Look, you’ve already decided to do this. 你已经决定做这事了
[14:37] So you can go and trudge through it like it’s 所以你快收起你的担心
[14:39] a chore and end up your poor feelings. 和坏情绪吧
[14:40] Or you can go enjoy yourself and have sex. 你可以去享受你的性爱
[14:44] I know, i know. 我知道
[14:46] Look, most guys end up losing their virginity 大多数小伙子把他们的童贞
[14:48] to some sort of stripper one night stay here. 给了某些脱衣舞女
[14:50] You’re lucky enough to have it be with a girl 你够幸运了 你将要面对的是
[14:52] that you actually love , and loves you back. 你真正爱的女孩
[14:54] You’re right. you’re right. 你说的对
[14:57] And that means she may let you do anal. 说不定她会让你给她爆菊花
[15:00] Thank you, tucker. That was 谢谢你 塔克
[15:02] actually- that was helpful. all right! 那真是给了我很大帮助
[15:04] All right. I’m gonna do it. 好吧 我会好好干
[15:06] – I’m gonna do it. – yeah! -我会的 -很好
[15:08] – I’m gonna do it now. – All right! -我现在就去 -好
[15:10] – I’m gonna have sex. – yes, you are. -我就要去做爱了 -去阿
[15:12] – Oh, my god, I’m nervous. – That, too, I can help you out with. -我太紧张了 -这我也能帮你
[15:19] – A little whiskey always calms the nerves. – cheers! -一些酒精就能压下紧张 -干杯
[15:22] You should probably have one more since this is yet first time. 你应该多喝几杯 因为这是你的初夜
[15:25] ’cause you’ll explode as soon as you get it in there. 很可能一开场就早泄了
[15:28] – gotta numb the senses. – really? that makes sense. -要麻木神经 -真的 有道理
[15:34] Whoo! I am gonna do it. 我要去了
[15:37] Go for it, eugene. But one more for good luck. 去吧 尤金 再来一杯给你好运
[15:40] Yeah. good luck to me for having sex! 给我的第一次带来好运
[15:47] The next time you see me, I will be a man. 下次你看见我的时候 我就是个真正的男人
[15:51] Go get ’em, eugene,wait! that’s not the hallway! 去吧 尤金 等等 不是那里
[15:58] Eugene! 尤金
[16:26] Okay, buddy, now just hold still. 好了 孩子 坚持住
[16:30] I have an idea. 我想到一个方法
[16:33] And… wake up! 快醒吧
[16:34] I knew it! I knew It would work. 我就知道那有用
[16:37] – what the fuck is wrong with you,man – You are alive. -你脑子里哪根经不对了 -你还活着
[16:42] What the fuck is going on? 这他妈的怎么回事
[16:45] You probably can’t move yet. 你还不能动
[16:47] you have atrophy. 你全身肌肉萎缩
[16:48] Why can’t I move and hurt you? 为什么我不能过去揍你
[16:50] Because you haven’t used your body in,like, four years. 因为你没发使唤自己的手脚 大概有四年了
[16:52] You gotta take it easy. 你得小心行动
[16:54] Tucker, what’s happening? why am I here? 塔克 怎么回事 为什么我会在这里
[16:57] You fell down the stairs after prom 你在那次舞会上掉下了楼
[16:58] and were in plantful for four years. 并且昏睡了四年
[17:00] Then I saved your life, because I’m a genius. 然后我救了你 因为我是个天才
[17:03] You! I told you no hit mister with the bat. 你 我告诉你别用板打他
[17:06] juanita, I brought him back to life. 莱尼塔 我救活他了
[17:09] – I told you the bat trick would work. – What are you saying. -我告诉你这有用 -你在说什么
[17:13] – what the fuck is going on? – eugene, -这怎么回事 -尤金
[17:14] don’t do that. You’re over oversaturated. 别那样动 你会用力过度
[17:19] Oh! you’re pooping! 你全拉出来了
[17:28] Your body is in an extreme state of atrophy, 你的身体一直处在极端的萎缩状态
[17:31] But you’re in surprisingly good shape for 但你在做了四年的植物人期间
[17:33] someone who’s been in plantful for four years. 惊人地保持着原有的状态
[17:36] You’ve healed from all the damage you received in. 你的外伤已经治愈了
[17:39] So all that you’ll need to recover from 所以你现在的康复状态就要看
[17:40] is from the effects yourself. 你自己的毅力了
[17:42] What about my face? 我的脸呢
[17:45] Yes, well, your nose was broken by the force of baseball bat. 恩 你的鼻子被棒球棍毁了
[17:48] And the frontal palate of your skull 你的下颚骨
[17:50] has some pretty bad… 也有些失去美观
[17:52] But we’ve set most of that. 但是我们已经修复了大部分
[17:54] You were hit pretty hard though. 你着实被揍得不轻
[17:59] But you’ll find over time… 过段时间你会发现
[18:01] That your muscle strength will return, 你的肌肉萎缩现象会减轻 排便能力也能控制
[18:04] until then, it’s best to avoid strenuous situations. 在那之前 最好保持轻松开朗的心情
[18:08] That’s why you pooped. 这就是你大小便失禁的原因
[18:12] Yeah, you did. a lot. 是阿 没错 你拉了很多
[18:17] Lots of poop. 很多屎
[18:19] Like, almost four years worth of poop. 感觉你把四年的屎都拉出来了
[18:23] Should call you poopy pants. 应该叫你屎尿多
[18:25] Mr. poopy pants. 屎尿多先生
[18:29] Sorry. anyway, I’ll let you get some rest. 抱歉了 你休息吧
[18:33] I’m sure you and your friend have some catching up to do. 我想你和你朋友还有很多话说
[18:38] – Oh, and, Tucker – Yeah? -塔克 -什么
[18:42] I like your style. 我喜欢你的风格
[18:51] I can’t believe i’ve been here for four years. 我无法相信我在这里4年了
[18:54] Yeah. you gotta watch where you’re working. 是的 你该看看你的周围
[18:57] It doesn’t feel like four years ago. 感觉跟四年前大不相同
[19:00] I feel like just five seconds ago 感觉就像五秒钟前
[19:03] I should go upstairs to have sex. 我得上楼去做爱
[19:06] Wait a minute. how come just you’re here? where’s cindi? 等等 为什么只有你在这里 辛迪呢
[19:09] – Where’s my dad? – oh, his job moved him down to florida. -我爸呢 -他因为工作去了佛罗里达
[19:13] What? he left me in the hospital? 什么 他把我留在医院里
[19:16] Well, dude, you were a vegetable. 哥们 你是个植物人
[19:18] Besides, he still has an apartment here. 另外 他在这里还有房子呢
[19:20] – What about cindi? – oh, I don’t know where she is. -辛迪呢 -我不知道她去哪了
[19:23] – Well, give me your cell phone. – No, I don’t -好吧 给我你的手机 -不
[19:25] know where she is. she move after graduation. 我不知道她去哪了 她毕业后就搬走了
[19:27] – She left me too? – you were a vegetable. -她也离开我了 -你是个植物人
[19:30] Then how come you’re still here? 那你为什么在这里
[19:32] ’cause we’re homeys, dude. Lock it up. 我们是死党嘛 最铁的那种
[19:34] I can’t believe she would just leave me like that. 我无法相信她就那么离开我了
[19:36] She was around for a little while, 她只留了一阵子
[19:38] But then she got into college and it really 然后她上了大学
[19:40] didn’t look like you were gonna wake up. 你也没有要苏醒的希望
[19:42] I mean, it took me four years to figure out the bat trick. 我是说 我花了四年才想到这方法
[19:45] I tried to look her up about a year or so ago, 我试图联系她有一年多了
[19:48] But she dropped out after freshman year, and the trail goes cold. 但她读完大一就消失了 联系不上了
[19:54] Tucker, I appreciate you being here. I really do. 塔克 我很感激你在这里 真的
[19:57] But i think right now i just need to be alone for a while. 但我现在想独处一会儿
[20:00] Okay, man. 好吧 伙计
[20:02] I’ll check on you tomorrow. 我明天再来
[20:04] Besides, i got a date with the old lady. 另外 我和一个老女人有个约会
[20:07] Wait. you have a girlfriend? 等等 你有女朋友了
[20:09] Well, i’m not the kind of guy… 好吧 我又不是那种
[20:11] That gets chained down to one woman, 会被一个女人套牢的男人
[20:13] But lately I’ve been banging Candace. 最近我正和坎蒂斯交往
[20:16] That crazy handicapped chick? 那个残疾女孩吗
[20:18] Hey. epilepsy, dude. It’s a condition. 只是羊癫风而已 暂时的小病
[20:20] Plus, it’s kind of hot. She, like, vibrates. 而且不停的抖动也挺让人兴奋
[20:23] Nice. 不错
[20:26] All right. 好了
[20:29] Okay, looking good. looking good. 注意面部 注意面部
[20:32] Bobby, you wanna sit up real straight for me there? 鲍比 你能坐的直一点吗
[20:35] – Sit up straight, sweetie. – All right. -坐直 宝贝 -好了
[20:37] Everybody say, “fuzzy pickles.” 一起说”茄子”
[20:41] Fuzzy pickles. 茄子
[20:43] That was great. That was great. 很好 很好
[20:45] I’m gonna try one more, and let 再拍一张 让我
[20:48] Me work with mom for a second. 帮妈妈整理一下
[20:51] All right, let’s see. 让我看看
[20:53] Brush some of hair away from mami’s neck. 把头发往后拨一点
[20:55] Bring out mommy’s pretty neck. 秀出妈妈漂亮的脖子
[20:59] That’s good. That’s good. Okay. 很好 很好
[21:01] Let’s have a couple wisps hang 让一些小碎发
[21:03] down here by the neigbour neck. 垂在脖子边
[21:05] That’s good. That looks great. There we go. 很好 看上去很棒 下一步
[21:08] And here, position three-quarters 这样 身体侧四分之一
[21:10] There like that. Like that. 就像这样
[21:12] That’s good. That’s good. 很好 很好
[21:14] – Like that. – Okay, okay. -像那样 -够了 够了
[21:17] – Okay, that’s enough playful, pal. – It’s gonna be good. -别闹了 -会很棒的
[21:20] All right, stay like that. 好了 别动
[21:23] It’s gonna be good. okay, now 一定会很棒的 现在
[21:25] Everybody say, “Mommy’s vision”. 一起说”Mommy’s vision”[美丽的妈妈]
[21:27] Mommy’s vision. Mommy’s vision[美丽的妈妈]
[21:31] Do not run away. Hey, this is big-time stuff. Big-time. 别走 你太过分了 太过分了
[21:34] Mr. Biederman is extremely upset. 比德曼很生气
[21:36] He said he brings his family in for a nice photo and 他带全家来拍全家福
[21:38] You turn that into so hooker photographer 但你却像在钓马子
[21:40] He’s crazy. I think he does drugs. 他疯了 他肯定吸过毒了才这样胡说
[21:42] Well, he said that you unbuttoned his wife’s shirt. 他说你解开了他妻子衬衫的扣子
[21:45] He said you handed her your phone number as she was leaving. 临走时还递给她你的电话号码
[21:48] – What the “h”, bro! Come on! – Some mail came for you. -你就像个妓女 拜托 -你的邮件
[21:50] Sweet. New playboy. 太棒了 新一期的《花花公子》
[21:52] How many times have I told you not to have 我和你说了多少次
[21:54] – That delivered here. – I found her. -不要把这东西寄到这里来 -我找到她了
[21:55] Why doesn’t anybody listen to me, ever? Jesus! 为什么没人听我说话 老是这样 老天
[21:58] Oh, my God. 我的天
[22:00] What? 什么
[22:02] Pack your bags, Eugene. I found her. 快收拾行李 尤金 我找到她了
[22:04] No, no, no. You cannot be here. 不 不 你不能待在这里
[22:07] – I found Cindi. – What? Where? -我找到辛迪了 -什么 在哪
[22:09] Right there. 就在这里
[22:18] I can’t believe Cindi would do this. 我不相信辛迪会做出这样的事情
[22:20] She’s changed, man. she’s all growed up. 她变了 她长大了
[22:23] The girl next door is now one of the girls next door. 邻家女孩居然变成了性感女星
[22:25] Oh, my god. It says one of her likes is sex on the beach. 天啊 她的爱好居然是在沙滩上做爱
[22:29] Calm down. That could just be the drink. 冷静点 可能是喝多了
[22:31] Tucker, do you think that cindi’s still a virgin? 塔克 你觉得辛迪还是处女吗
[22:35] Let’s see. 让我看看
[22:40] No, afraid not. 恐怕不是了
[22:42] – Oh, my God. – This is perfect. -我的天 -太好了
[22:45] How is this perfect? 有什么好的
[22:47] This saturday is playboy’s annual anniversary bash. 这个星期六是《花花公子》的周年庆典
[22:50] So? 那又怎么样
[22:52] So, this saturday all the playmates, including Cindi, 所以这个星期六 所有的模特 包括辛迪
[22:55] Are gonna be at the playboy mansion, 会去《花花公子》宅邸庆祝[《花花公子》创始人的住所]
[22:57] Mingling with guests, sipping slightly alcoholic beverages. 宾客往来 觥筹交错
[23:01] – Yeah, but – Dude, this is meant to be. -是啊 但 -上天注定
[23:04] What are the odds that this issue 你一从昏迷中醒来
[23:05] would come out right now 就遇上周年庆典
[23:06] As you’re getting out of your coma? 这也太巧了
[23:08] I guess. 也许吧
[23:10] This is true love speaking. True love doesn’t 这是真爱的呼唤
[23:12] speak often, but it’s speaking to us right now. 真爱难得 它正指引我们
[23:13] It’s telling us to go to the playboy mansion. 它让我们去《花花公子》宅邸
[23:16] Yeah, but, Tucker, I can’t even walk here, man. 但塔克 我甚至无法走路
[23:18] You’re getting a little better every day, right? yeah. 你每天都能恢复一点 对吧
[23:21] So the party’s Saturday night. That means 而派对是在周六晚上
[23:23] we have to catch a plane on Saturday morning 就是说我们必须周六早上去赶飞机
[23:25] It’s thursday today, so that gives us 今天星期四 你还有
[23:26] three days to get you on your feet. 三天的时间练习
[23:28] Think you can do it? 想想 能行吧
[23:31] – I can try. – Yes! That’s the spirit! -我可以试一下 -这就对了
[23:33] We’re going to the playboy mansion! 我们要去《花花公子》宅邸啦
[23:35] Yeah! Playboy! 太棒了 花花公子
[24:18] Mister, you have a telephone call from a Mr. . 先生 贝尔先生找你
[24:24] – Dad? – Eugene? -爸爸 -尤金
[24:26] – Hey, sport. – Hey, Dad. -嗨 儿子 -嗨 爸爸
[24:28] I can’t tell you how glad I was when 当他们告诉我你醒过来了
[24:30] They told me you came out that coma. 我不知道有多高兴
[24:32] – That’s great. That’s really great. – Yeah. -太好了 真是太好了 -是啊
[24:35] Um, it’s been weird here. 我感觉怪怪的
[24:38] This actually works out great, ’cause I’m 太好了 因为我
[24:40] Gonna be up there in the town in a few weeks on business. 几个星期后才会来镇上
[24:42] In a few weeks? 几个星期后吗
[24:44] That’s right, buddy. 是的
[24:46] Oh, wait a minute. I’m getting another call. 等一下 我有个电话
[24:49] You know what? It’s from Japan. 从日本打来的
[24:50] I’m gonna have to take this 我要接一下
[24:52] Okay, but in a few weeks ago,catching up 好的 但几个星期前…
[24:54] What? 什么
[24:57] Oh, shit. Is this still Eugene? Hold on. 该死 还是你吗 尤金 等等
[25:13] Wow. This is the nicest place 这是你带我来过的
[25:15] you’ve ever take me to, Tucker. 最好的餐馆了 塔克
[25:18] Yeah. They don’t even have a drive-through. 他们都没有直通车道
[25:21] Sir, may I help you? 先生 需要什么吗
[25:22] Yeah, we’ll take a plate of Tater-Tots and… Jager? 来一盘马铃薯… 你呢
[25:26] – Two Jagers. – Excellent choice, sir. -两份 -有品位 先生
[25:30] – Wanna get your picture taken with the waiter? – could I? -想和侍者拍张照吗 -可以吗
[25:37] Come on, closer. 来 靠近点
[25:39] – And? Awesome. – Very good. -不错 -太好了
[25:47] So, Tucker, I got you an anniversary present. 塔克 我有份周年礼物要送给你
[25:50] I know. I’m sorry. 对不起 我知道
[25:53] I know how you feel about the term 我知道你不喜欢这样
[25:54] But 13 months ago tonight 但13个月前的晚上
[25:56] That we did each other for the first time. 我们第一次发生关系
[25:59] Yes, that we did each other for the first time. 是的 第一次发生关系
[26:03] This is just a little something to say 我只是想说
[26:05] It is great for the 13 months. 这13个月很开心
[26:06] – Thank you. – Cool! A card. -谢谢你 -好棒 一张卡
[26:13] Is there a check? 这是张支票吗
[26:15] No, there’s no check. It’s an anniversary card. 不 没有支票 这是周年卡片
[26:23] You got me the black billiard. 你给我买了船长直柄烟斗
[26:26] This is just like the pipe that Hugh Hefner used to smoke. 这就像是休·赫夫曼常用的那种烟斗
[26:29] I know. 我知道
[26:34] Candace, you’re, like, so totally 坎蒂斯 你是世界上
[26:36] the coolest girl in the world 最好的女孩
[26:39] So, where are we going after this? 那么我们过会儿去哪
[26:41] Don’t you worry about it, babe. I got it all planned out. 别担心 宝贝 我全安排好了
[26:44] Tonight is gonna be awesome. 今晚一定很难忘
[26:54] What was that? Who is that? 发生什么事了 你是谁
[26:58] What the fuck? 你到底在干嘛
[27:01] – Tucker? – We gotta go, man. Get your stuff. – 塔克 -我们要动身了 带好你的东西
[27:04] What are you talking about? What’s going on? 你在说什么 怎么了
[27:05] We gotta go now now now 我们现在 马上就走
[27:07] – We’re not leaving till Saturday. -Plans change. -我们不是星期六才走吗 -计划有变
[27:09] I’m not ready! 我还没准备好
[27:13] No. no! You can’t be here! He’s stealing the Mister! 不 不 你不能在这里 他带走了病人
[27:16] Tucker, what the fuck is going on? 塔克 到底怎么了
[27:18] We have to get out of town. I’ll explain in the car. 我们必须要离开这里 我会在车上和你解释的
[27:21] – Get out of town? – There he is! That son of a bitch! -离开这里吗 -他在这里 你个混蛋
[27:23] – Detour, Eugene. – Let me at him! -要绕道了 尤金 -让我抓住他
[27:27] You’re a dead man, Tucker Cleigh! A dead man! 你死定了 塔克·克雷 死定了
[27:31] – Mister! – Tucker, what the hell is happening? -先生 -塔克 发生什么事了
[27:33] Ah! Jesus! oww! 老天啊
[27:36] – There’s a ramp right there! -No time for the ramp. -那里有个斜坡 -没时间走斜坡了
[27:39] Hey, hey, Take it easy. Hey! 放轻松
[27:43] Tucker, I can’t even walk here. 塔克 我还不能走路
[27:45] If I take a shit in your car, 如果我在你车上失禁了
[27:46] It’s pretty a short trip! 我们的旅行将异常短暂
[27:50] Stop! You can’t take the mister! 停下 你不能带走病人
[27:52] He’s not ready! 他还没准备好
[27:55] Good-bye, Juanita. I’ll bring him back in one piece. 再见 莱尼塔 我会把他安然无恙带回来
[28:14] Okay, Tucker, What is going on? 好了 塔克 怎么回事
[28:15] What’s wrong with you both 你们两个怎么了
[28:17] I got to get rid of this cell phone. 我要扔了这手机
[28:18] – They can track it. – What are you talking about? -他们会追踪手机的 -你在说什么
[28:20] What’s going on? Slow down and tell me what happened. 怎么了 开慢点 快告诉我
[28:23] – I had a problem with Candace. – Obviously. -我和坎蒂斯吵架了 -显而易见
[28:25] What kind of problem? 为什么吵
[28:27] Well, it was the 13-month anniversary… 今天是我们发生关系后的
[28:29] Of when Candace and I first started boning. 第13个月的纪念日
[28:31] Okay. So I wanted to do something really nice and special. 所以我想给她特别的惊喜
[28:35] So we got tanked at this really nice 我们在家很好的餐馆喝多了
[28:36] restaurant and then dash out on the check 然后吃了霸王餐就溜走了
[28:39] Then we poured some maker’s into a 3-liter of 然后我们把3升的可乐倒进了咖啡机里
[28:41] coke and did donuts in the parking lot 然后在停车场吃甜甜圈
[28:43] It was pretty sweet. 挺甜蜜的
[28:45] Everything was going great. 一切都很好
[28:47] Then I went to give her a present 然后我准备给她份惊喜
[28:49] Come into the living room. I got you something. 我们到客厅了 我有东西给你
[28:52] Oh, Tucker, that’s so sweet. 塔克 你太好了
[28:54] What is it? What is it? 是什么 是什么
[28:57] A pole? 一根杆子
[28:59] A stripper pole. 脱衣舞娘的钢管
[29:01] A stripper pole? 脱衣舞娘的钢管
[29:03] Happy 13 months boning. 13个月纪念日快乐
[29:06] – Tucker. – Come on, go do a dance. -塔克 -来吧 跳个舞
[29:08] Do a sexy strip dance or something. 跳个性感的脱衣舞 或者其他的舞蹈
[29:13] I don’t know. 我不太明白
[29:15] Miss January of this year… 今年的一月小姐
[29:17] Said that 90% ofthe reason that relationships fall apart… 说90%情侣分手
[29:20] Is because people don’t spice up the bedroom. 是因为他们的卧室没有情趣
[29:22] – We’re in the living room. – I know. -我们是在客厅 -我知道
[29:29] Huh? Come on, give it a spin. 来 转一圈
[29:33] Come on. 跳吧
[29:36] Yeah, there you go. 开始了
[30:01] Yeah, come on 继续
[30:04] Go on 然后呢
[30:16] So anyway, then she kind of started to get into it. 她开始慢慢进入角色
[30:24] You look so awesome right now! 你太棒了
[30:28] Then she started to, like, 然后她完全
[30:29] really get into it. She was awesome. 投入了 她太棒了
[30:31] She was whipping her hair around, 她甩着头发
[30:33] sticking her butt. 翘着屁股
[30:47] Okay. 挺好啊
[30:49] Then she started to go downtown, if you know what I mean. 然后她就直奔”中心” 你懂我意思吗
[30:53] Yeah, I know what you mean. 我明白
[31:02] Oh, that feels good. 感觉太棒了
[31:04] Oh, that’s great. 太棒了
[31:07] Oh, that’s awesome. 太舒服了
[31:09] Man, it was great. Perfect form, lots of tongue. 真不赖 完美的力度和方法
[31:12] Hey, check it out. Strobe lights. 看 闪光灯
[31:18] You’re biting! You’re biting! 你咬到我了 咬到我了
[31:20] Candace? You’re biting, you’re biting. 坎蒂斯 你在咬我 你在咬我
[31:23] You’re biting! Candace! You’re biting me! Candace! 你在咬我 坎蒂斯 你在咬我 坎蒂斯
[31:27] I don’t know. Candace must just hate strobe lights. 坎蒂斯一定是讨厌闪光灯
[31:29] Tucker, that was probably the epilepsy. 塔克 可能是她羊癫风发作了
[31:31] Don’t make jokes, man. 别开玩笑了
[31:34] I didn’t know what to do, so I panicked 我慌的不知所措
[31:36] And I grabbed a fork 抓起一把叉子
[31:39] And I stabbed her in the face! 刺向了她的脸
[31:41] – Oh, my god! – I know! -我的天啊 -我知道
[31:43] I didn’t know what to do. I panicked. 我慌了 不知道怎么办
[31:45] – So you stabbed her? – I thought she -所以你刺她 -我以为
[31:47] was gonna bite my dick at all 她要咬断我的老二
[31:49] – Oh, my god! – I know! -我的天 -我知道
[31:51] No wonder she looked so pissed off. 怪不得她那么生气
[31:54] Okay, that’s terrible, but why do we 太糟了 但为什么我们
[31:55] have to get out the town like this 要这样逃出去
[32:00] Oh, no! Her brother! 不 她的哥哥
[32:01] You’re gonna die tonight 你今晚死定了
[32:04] Her brother’s a fireman. 她哥哥是消防员
[32:06] Have you ever met one of them? They’re crazy. 你见过消防员没有 他们太疯狂了
[32:12] They must have put an a.p.b. out on my plates. what? 他们一定全境通缉我了
[32:31] Roll up your window! Roll up your window! 关窗 快关窗
[32:43] What’s he gonna do now? 他想干嘛
[32:50] Tucker, do something! 塔克 想想办法
[33:07] Stupid firemen. 愚蠢的消防员
[33:09] – Can’t turn their trucks around. – My god. -他们的卡车都转不了弯 -我的天
[33:25] Okay, Tucker, have you put any thought into this at all? 塔克 你有没有好好想过这个计划
[33:29] The Playboy Mansion is on the other side of the country. 《花花公子》宅邸是在这个国家的另外一边
[33:31] It’s a long way to drive. 要开很长的时间
[33:33] Well, the country is, like, 10 states wide. 这个国家大概有10个州那么宽
[33:35] Each state is roughly a hundred miles across, 如果横穿每个州的距离是100英里的话
[33:37] It’s like 1000 miles. 那就是1000英里
[33:39] We’re moving at 60 miles an hour. 我们现在是60英里一小时
[33:41] We should be there in, like, 600 minutes. 我们600分钟后该到那里了
[33:44] Okay, well, not one part of that was correct 你好像都没说对
[33:46] So let me ask you about this 那我来问你
[33:47] Have you thought about how we’re gonna 我们达到那里后
[33:49] get into the mansion once we arrive. 怎么才能进宅邸
[33:57] Wait a minute. Is this Horsedick? 等一下 这是巨炮的歌吗
[33:58] – Dot-mpeg. – Dot-mpeg. -巨炮-MPEG -巨炮-MPEG
[34:01] – Did he change his lyrics? – Yeah, -他改歌词了 -是的
[34:03] This is the radio-friendly version. 这是电台大众版歌词
[34:05] Wait a minute. Horsedick’s on the radio? 等等 巨炮在做电台节目
[34:07] Yeah, man. He blew up. 是的 他红了
[34:08] He’s like the biggest star 他是最炙手可热的明星
[34:10] They even play his song during monday night football. 他们甚至在星期一晚上的足球赛上放他的歌
[34:13] I’m asleep for four years. 我睡了四年
[34:15] My dad moves out of town, my girlfriend’s in Playboy 我爸爸离开了小镇 我的女朋友上了《花花公子》
[34:17] and your stupid friend is famous. 你那个愚蠢的朋友出了名
[34:19] Yep. It’s kind of like when Han got unfrozen in jedi. 是的 有点像哈恩从绝地里解放出来了
[34:21] Yeah, it’s exactly like when Han got unfrozen in jedi. 没错 就像哈恩从绝地里解放出来了
[34:25] Yo, what’s up, everybody? you know who that was. 怎么样 你知道我是谁吗
[34:28] Horsedick.mpeg with the track “I’m in love with white girl”… 巨炮-MPEG的超白金销量CD中的
[34:31] “I’m in love with white girl” Off his multi-platinum cd donkey dong.
[34:32] Pick it up if you ain’t heard! 如果你没听过 就买张来听听吧
[34:35] Wait a minute. If Horsedick’s t 等等 如果巨炮是
[34:37] he most famous person in the world 世界上最红的人
[34:39] Then he could get into the playboy mansion, right? 那么他就能进入《花花公子》宅邸
[34:42] Oh, yeah. He could just walk right in. 当然 他能直接走进去
[34:52] We should totally get horsedick.mpeg to get us in! 可以让巨炮-MPEG带我们进去
[34:56] He lives in Chicago. He’s always trying to get me to come up and visit. 他住在芝加哥 他总是
[34:57] trying to get me to come up and visit. 让我去他家玩
[34:59] He’d be totally down to fly us out to L.A. and hook us up. 他肯定会带我们去洛杉矶 好好招待我们的
[35:01] Good idea, Tucker. 好主意 塔克
[35:04] Okay. Well, at least we have a plan now. Horsedick. 至少我们现在有个计划了 巨炮
[35:08] That’s our plan. Horsedick. 那就是我们的计划 巨炮
[35:11] – Dot-mpeg. – Dot-mpeg. -加上-MPEG -加上-MPEG
[35:13] All points bulletin. 全境通缉
[35:15] Be on the lookout for a Tucker Cleigh. 大家请注意 通缉塔克·克雷
[35:18] White male, six foot five. no visible tattoos. 白人男性 六英尺五 无可见纹身
[35:22] Last seen April 17. 最后出现时间4月17日
[35:24] I just can’t believe the firemen were that angry. 难以置信消防员会那么生气
[35:27] Dude, firemen breathe noxious fumes all day. 他们可是整天都闻着有毒气体
[35:29] It’s theirjob. Makes them psycho. 这种工作搞的他们神经兮兮
[35:32] I guess that makes sense. 有道理
[35:34] Trust me, dude. Firemen are bad news. 相信我 消防员都是危险人物
[35:38] Hey, Tucker, I don’t really want 塔克 我不想
[35:39] to go in there dressed like this. 穿成这样进去
[35:41] Can you get me like a shirt, some pants, 你能给我带一件衬衫 几条裤子吗
[35:43] and I think a hood would be good. 我想一条头巾也不错
[35:45] Sure, no sweat. just fill her up for me. 没问题 帮我加个油
[35:48] What? No! Tucker! 什么 不 塔克
[35:50] I have atrophy! 我使不上力
[36:19] Ridiculous. 荒唐
[36:47] Hugh. 休
[36:56] 休·赫夫 船长直柄烟斗
[37:38] Hey, this is Candace. 我是坎蒂斯
[37:40] I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m 我现在无法接电话
[37:43] out hunting down my piece of shit boyfriend 因为我正在追杀我的垃圾男友
[37:45] Leave a message. 请留言
[37:48] Uh, h-hi, Candace. 嗨 坎蒂斯
[37:52] That’s a, that’s a pretty funny message. 留言还蛮有趣的
[37:55] Um, look, 听着
[37:57] I-I just wanted to call and talk about what you did. 我只想谈谈你对我所做的
[38:02] Um, I want you to know that I’m not mad at you, 我想说 我并没有生你的气
[38:07] And I realize that you seemed… 而且我觉得你
[38:11] A little… 有点
[38:13] Cross. 生气
[38:15] And I may have overreacted a little bit to you biting me. 你咬我 我也许是有点反应过度了
[38:19] But… you know how i am. 但 你了解我的
[38:22] My brain just shuts down whenever I 我的脑中一片空白
[38:24] feel like I’m close to get some… 当我觉得我快…
[38:29] Anyway,I just hope this doesn’t get in the way 不管如何 我希望这不会阻碍
[38:33] of us hooking up and hanging out stuff 我们见面或约会
[38:39] Because I really like doing that. 因为我很喜欢和你在一起
[38:44] I mean, not like we’re exclusive or anything. 并不是说我们很特别
[38:48] By the way, did your answering machine say “my boyfriend”? 另外 你在答录机中用了”男朋友”这个词
[38:51] Because it’s weird. 感觉怪怪的
[38:53] I mean, we’ve talked about that. 我们已经说过这个问题了
[38:56] Um, anyway, I guess I’m just trying to say… 我想说的是
[39:00] I forgive you. 我原谅你
[39:02] I just hope… 我希望
[39:04] You’re not gonna be a dick about this. 你不要老是对此喋喋不休
[39:07] Okay, bye. 好了 再见
[39:20] Well, I think I patched things up with Candace. 我想我和坎蒂斯和解了
[39:23] Why is your dress all wet? 你的衣服怎么都湿了
[39:26] Give me my clothes. 给我衣服
[39:40] Really? 让我穿这种衣服
[39:43] That shirt’s awesome, man. 这件T恤很好看
[39:47] I’m getting pretty tired. 我好累
[39:50] – Do you want to get a motel or something? – No, man, I’m wired. -想找家汽车旅馆休息下吗 -不 我很兴奋
[39:53] I ate, like, 10 packets of those horny goat 我就像吃了十包
[39:55] weed stamina things 春药
[39:57] You can get some shut-eye though. 你可以睡一会
[40:00] All right, just wake me if you need me, okay? 好吧 如果有事叫醒我
[40:04] And, Tucker, 塔克
[40:06] Thank you for everything. 谢谢你为我所做的一切
[40:10] No problem, dude. We’re homeys. Lock it up. 没事 我们是好哥们 别和我客气
[40:14] – Whoa! Sorry. – Asshole! -抱歉 -混蛋
[40:17] Just watch the road. Okay? 看着点路 好吗
[40:19] Will do. 好的
[40:22] Good night. 晚安
[40:37] Hey, Eugene. 嗨 尤金
[40:39] – Want to party? – Cindi. -想参加晚会吗 -辛迪
[40:42] I got tired of waiting for you, Eugene, 我无法再等你了 尤金
[40:45] so I went out and then I blew everyone 所以我走了 和每个人寻欢作乐
[40:48] – No! Cindi! – Why did you have to get drunk, Eugene? -不 辛迪 -为什么你要喝醉 尤金
[40:51] – Why couldn’t you just make love to me? – No! I’m sorry! -为什么你不和我做爱 -不 我很抱歉
[40:55] You’ve turned me into a whore, Eugene. 是你 使我成了个妓女
[40:58] This is a venereal disease, Eugene, 这是一种性病 尤金
[41:01] And I have thousands of them. 而我已经感染了无数种性病
[41:04] – No! – I’m just like your brother, Eugene! -不 -我变成了你哥哥那样 尤金
[41:06] Just like your brother! 就像你哥哥那样
[41:09] No! 不
[41:19] What state are we in? 我们到哪个州了
[41:23] – Hey! Tucker! – What? -塔克 -干嘛
[41:28] Sorry about that. 很抱歉我睡着了
[41:30] I started drinking all this NyQuil because that 我开始喝奈奎尔是因为
[41:33] horny goat weed was giving me the jitters. 山羊草[春药的成分]能让我亢奋
[41:35] There’s clothes in this bag if you want them. 衣服在包里 如果你想穿的话
[41:37] But I feel good to go now. We don’t need to stay here. 但我现在很清醒 我们不用待在这里
[41:40] Tucker, you can’t drive all night 塔克 你不能整晚开车
[41:42] long without sleep. It is not safe. 而不睡觉 这不安全
[41:44] I got some sleep in the car. I’m serious. 我刚才睡过了 我认真的
[41:47] We could go get our money back from 我们可以现在退房
[41:48] the motel, jump back in the car 跳回车上
[41:50] Be in Chicago in a couple hours, and then 过几个小时就能到芝加哥了
[41:52] by this time tomorrom be at the mansion 明天这个时候我们就能到那幢房子了
[41:53] Tucker, it is 4:00 in the morning. 塔克 现在是早上4点
[41:55] The stupid fucking mansion can wait. 那幢该死的房子跑不掉
[41:58] The stupid what-ing mansion? 你前面说什么房子
[42:01] Oh, God. 老天
[42:03] That mansion is a historical and cultural landmark 这幢建筑是历史和文化的里程碑
[42:06] where Greatest minds gather together to exchange ideas. 伟人们在那里交流想法
[42:09] and watch naked ladies 还有一起看裸体女人
[42:11] take baths together. Yes, I know. 洗澡 我明白
[42:12] Oh, my God. You don’t know. 我的天 你不明白
[42:15] I need to give you a crash course in 我要帮你上一堂速成课
[42:17] sophistication in a playboy way 恶补《花花公子》中的高深知识
[42:18] You’re gonna give me a lesson in sophistication? 你要给我恶补高深知识
[42:21] Yeah. I’ve had a subscription to 是的 我已经订了十三年的
[42:23] this magazine for like 13 years, 《花花公子》杂志
[42:25] God, you’re right, Tucker. Teach me more about etiquette. 你是对的 塔克 教我点这方面的礼仪
[42:29] Okay. 没问题
[42:31] Here, put this on. 穿上
[42:33] Ow. I don’t wanna. 我不想穿
[42:35] Put it on. 快穿上
[42:37] This is a bathrobe. We’ll probably be issued 这是件浴袍 也许我们进宅邸的时候
[42:40] one of these when we get into the mansion. 他们会给我们一人一件
[42:42] It’s the western equivalent of the Greek toga. 这可跟古希腊罗马的官服是一样的
[42:45] There’s a stain on mine. 这上面有污渍
[42:46] It signifies both power and leisure. 那是尊贵与休闲的象征
[42:50] Say that with me — 来 跟我念
[42:51] Power and leisure. 尊贵与休闲
[42:54] Say it. Power and leisure. 说啊 尊贵与休闲
[42:57] Power and leisure. 尊贵与休闲
[42:59] Good. Now, lesson two. 很好 第二课
[43:01] When you get to the mansion and you see a pretty girl, 当你到了那栋豪宅 发现了漂亮姑娘
[43:03] You can’t just walk up to her and 不要直接就走过去
[43:05] Ask her to have sex with you. 叫人家和你做爱
[43:07] Okay. 好吧
[43:08] You have to engage her in stimulating conversation first. 你得先跟她搭讪
[43:12] Find out who she is. 搞清楚她是谁
[43:14] Ask her questions like what is her favorite animal, 然后问她一些问题 比如她最喜欢的动物
[43:16] Or what’s her most embarrassing moment. 或者是她觉得最糗的时刻
[43:21] This is a pipe. 这是一个烟斗
[43:23] Smoking a pipe is the equivalent of wearing a fine tuxedo. 抽着烟斗就相当于穿了一件帅气的礼服
[43:31] Tucker! 塔克
[43:44] – This usually never happens. – Shut up, Tucker. -这纯属意外 -闭嘴 塔克
[43:52] Uh-oh, dude, here come the firemen. 哈哈 老弟 消防员来了
[44:13] Uh-oh, dude, here come the firemen. 不好 老弟 消防员来了
[44:17] They know about Candace! 他们认识坎蒂斯
[44:23] Come on. Get in. 快点 上车
[44:25] – We must be three states away! – Firemen talk, dude. -我们起码得跑三个州才行 -来得及 老弟
[44:29] You’re a dead man, Tucker Cleigh! 你死定了 塔克·克雷
[44:59] How’s that atrophy coming? 你怎么变成肌肉萎缩的
[45:06] Are you still mad? 你还在生气吗
[45:14] Hey, do you want to get something to eat or anything? 你想吃点东西吗 还是想干点别的
[45:18] Well, how much money do we have? 我们还有钱吗
[45:19] Because we just spent 75 bucks on a motel room 花75块去住汽车旅馆
[45:22] that we got to use for 5 minutes. 结果只呆了5分钟
[45:24] Let’s see. I’ve got… seven dollars. 我看看 我这还有 7块
[45:28] Do you have any money? 你那还有吗
[45:30] No, I don’t have any money. I don’t have a bank account. 没有 我一分钱都没有 我连银行账号都没有
[45:33] I’ve been in a coma since high school. 我从高中就开始昏迷了
[45:37] Okay. Seven bucks. 好吧 那就七块吧
[45:39] Seven bucks should be enough to feed the both of us. 七块也应该够我们俩用了
[45:53] – Are you mad? – Yes, I’m mad! -你还气吗 -对 我很生气
[45:56] What kind of fuckin’ idiot goes on 哪个白痴敢揣着这么点钱
[45:58] A cross-country road trip less than hundred dollars 就要横穿全美
[46:00] Well, to be fair, dude, I had to buy you all those clothes, 哥们儿 说句公道话 我得花钱给你买衣服
[46:04] And you’re the one that wanted to stay at the motel. 而且是你说想住汽车旅馆的
[46:07] You had to buy clothes for me because you kid napped me, 你得给我买衣服 因为是你把我从医院绑了出来
[46:10] And I wanted the motel because you almost killed me! 而我想要住汽车旅馆 是因为你差点害死我
[46:13] But then wait! You burned down the motel 结果你把旅馆给烧了
[46:15] And almost killed me once again. 差一点又把我弄死
[46:17] And then you pissed off firemen and 然后 你又把消防员给惹毛了
[46:19] Almost got me killed another time 差一点让我又死一次
[46:22] I think you’re overreacting a little bit. 不至于这么激动吧
[46:24] I am not overreacting 我就激动咋了
[46:26] I am trying to reclaim my life here, Tucker, 我在试着重新找回我的生活 塔克
[46:29] And you’re not take it seriously 可你根本没把这当回事
[46:31] This is all some dumb excuse for you to go to the mansion… 这都是你为了去那个聚会而找的狗屁借口
[46:33] So you can finally rub up on all those strippers 好让你终于可以对着你梦想了一辈子的
[46:36] You’ve been dreaming your whole life 脱衣女郎们意淫了
[46:40] Rub up? Strippers? 意淫 脱衣女郎
[46:44] We talked about this last night, 我们昨晚已经说好了
[46:46] And I will not allow that sort 我的车上禁止出现
[46:48] Of filth or degreed speech in my car! 这些污言秽语
[46:52] Oh, look! Horsedick. 听 巨炮
[47:24] – Speak. – Just got a visual confirmation. -说 -根据目击者判定
[47:26] They’ve been spotted in Chicago. 他们已经逃向芝加哥了
[48:08] You know these lyrics doesn’t make any sense 这些歌词一点意义都没有
[48:10] What? Shut up, Eugene. This song is awesome. 什么 闭嘴 尤金 这首歌简直太棒了
[48:13] I wish Candace were here. She would love this song. 要是坎蒂斯在就好了 她肯定喜欢这歌
[48:17] Tucker, if Candace were here right now, 塔克 要是坎蒂斯在的话
[48:18] She would try to kill you 她早就把你杀了
[48:20] Oh, yeah. I forgot. 也对 我把这茬忘了
[48:47] Respect. 服了吧
[48:49] Cut! That’s a wrap. 停 收工
[48:52] Great job, Horsedick.Mpeg. Hip-Hop is back! 太棒了巨炮-MPEG 嘻哈重现江湖了
[48:54] You think they’re gonna get the message though? 你觉得他们能明白我要表达的意思
[48:56] – Yo, Horsedick. – Yo, yo, yo. -巨炮 – 你好
[48:58] You know these dudes, man? 你认识这俩哥们儿
[49:00] Hell, yeah! Tucker Cleighfrom the down S.C.! 当然认识 南卡罗莱纳州的塔克·克雷
[49:07] – How you feel, man? – Great, man. -近来可好 伙计 -好得很 伙计
[49:09] Thanks for letting us come to visit your show. 感谢你让我们来看你的表演
[49:10] Of course. Any time. 客气啥 随时欢迎
[49:12] You remember Eugene from Prom? 还记得尤金吗 舞会上那个
[49:14] Oh, the Stair Master. “楼梯”专家
[49:15] -How are you doing, man? -Good. -最近怎么样啊 -还好
[49:17] I heard you was all Regarding Henry as shit. 听说你的生活意外不断啊
[49:20] – Yeah, I was in a coma for a while. – That’s cool. -是的 我昏迷了一段时间 -酷
[49:23] I see you’ve been doing really well. Congratulations. 看来你现在很不错啊 恭喜恭喜
[49:25] Thanks, bro. Man, my last CD dropped, 谢了 哥们 我上一张专辑一面世
[49:27] “Motherfuckers” got killed at the Tower Records. 就在排行榜上打败了”混帐东西”乐队
[49:29] “Motherfuckers” got killed. “混帐东西” 被我打败了
[49:31] whoa. That’s awesome. 真的啊 太棒了
[49:32] Thank God. You know what I’m sayin’? 谢天谢地 知道吗
[49:34] I want bring you in Chicago 我想带你们一起去芝加哥
[49:36] – We just came to see you, dog. – Okay. -伙计 我们就是来找你的 -好啊
[49:38] Dude. 老兄
[49:40] Oh, and we were wondering if you could 对了 我们在想 你能不能
[49:42] Get us into the playboy mansion 让我们也去参加花花公子的派对
[49:43] Most definitely. 完全没问题
[49:47] Wow, Horsedick. You’re very generous 巨炮 你在时间和物质方面
[49:49] With your time and resources. 可真大方啊
[49:51] Anything for my bro, man. Come on. 自家兄弟 不说二话 来 伙计
[49:52] Lock it up. 碰一下
[49:55] See? I told you Horsedick would hook us up. 看见没 我就说巨炮会帮我们的吧
[49:57] We’re gonna have you back in Cindi’s arms in no time. 我们会立刻把你送回辛迪的怀抱
[50:00] Then you can finally have sex. 你就总算可以体验一次性爱了
[50:03] Finally have sex? You’re a virgin? 总算能做爱了 你是处男
[50:08] Are you tellin’ me you’re? Turn the music off! 你是说你是个 把音乐关了
[50:11] Do you mean to tell me you have never been with a woman? 别告诉我你从来没跟女人上过床
[50:14] Never? 从来没有
[50:17] I was going to in high school, 我本来刚要升入高中
[50:19] But, uh, then I fell down the staris 结果就从楼梯上滚下来了
[50:20] Crystal! Janine! 克里斯托 珍妮
[50:22] Get your asses in here and have sex with this man! 滚过来 跟这个男的做爱
[50:26] – Oh, no, Horsedick – Dot – MPEG. -不用了 巨炮 –MPEG
[50:29] .Mpeg, yes. That’s not necessary. -MPEG 对 不用麻烦了
[50:31] I’m saving myself, uh, for my girlfriend… 我要为我的女朋友而守身如玉
[50:34] Who’s gonna be at the party, 她也会去那个派对的
[50:35] So thank you, but I’m gonna wait. 所以 谢了 我还想再等等
[50:41] – I’ll have sex with those girls. – Come hook my brother up. -他不要我要 -好好伺候我兄弟
[50:44] I gotta take a shit. 我要拉屎
[50:46] – You okay with just Crystal? – Yeah, that’s cool. -只有克里斯托行吗 -行 没问题
[50:50] Come on, baby. 走吧 宝贝
[50:57] You and me gonna have a long talk. 咱俩得好好谈谈
[50:59] We gonna smoke this here, and you 我俩坐这儿抽烟
[51:02] Gonna tell uncle Horsedick exactly 好好跟你巨炮大爷说说
[51:04] What the problem is. 问题到底出在哪
[51:06] Thank you again, Horsedick.mpeg, but I don’t smoke. 再次感谢你 巨炮-MPEG 可我不抽烟
[51:10] Look here, man. 好好看看 伙计
[51:11] This is a party bus. 这是辆开派对的车
[51:14] There’s only one rule on a party bus, you got to party. 这儿就一个规矩 你得像个参加派对的样
[51:18] So you’re either gonna fuck one of them girls, 要么你就从这些妞里面选一个干
[51:20] Or you somke these “J”. 要么就把这些烟给我抽了
[51:22] We are out of toilet paper! 厕所没有纸了
[51:52] I gonna warn you, i’m a little drunk, so… 我得先声明 我有点醉了 所以…
[51:54] This could take two or three minutes. 这得要个两三分钟
[52:08] I don’t understand it. I mean, 我有点困惑
[52:11] How much can a person can change in four years. 4年的时间到底能让一个人发生多大变化
[52:13] It’s, like… I knew her. 感觉就像… 我以前那么了解她
[52:16] You know, like, I really knew her. 真的了解
[52:18] Then you wake up, and she’s a completely different person. 结果当我一觉醒来 她却彻底变了个人
[52:25] This bitch one time… 曾经 有一个婊子
[52:28] Tore my heart out, man, for reals, yo. 把我的心也带走了 真的 伙计
[52:31] -Oh, Horsedick. – Dot-mpeg. -巨炮 –MPEG
[52:34] -MPEG Dot-mpeg.
[52:37] You know, I think I’m startin’ to feel high. 我好像开始有点兴奋了
[52:43] I don’t even know where I am. 我都不知道我现在在哪
[52:46] What was we talking about? 我们刚才说什么来着
[52:51] – You like this? – Uh Uh-huh. -你喜欢吗 -喜欢啊
[52:59] You want this? 你想要吗
[53:01] Uh, yeah. Yeah. 想啊
[53:04] Then come and get it. 那就过来拿啊
[53:13] Goddamn Hey, Charlie Control this motherfuckin’bus! 妈的 查理 你会开车吗
[53:20] Crazy-ass bus driver. 操他妈的司机
[53:44] She said the most… 她在别人面前说过一些
[53:47] Mean, hurtful things… to people, 非常伤我的话
[53:54] And they laughed at me. 然后人们开始嘲笑我
[53:56] And it was- 那真是…
[53:58] So that’s why, you know, I’m a dog now. 所以现在 我才会变成了一个混蛋
[54:02] Cut through bitches like water. 在无数女人之间游走
[54:04] No emotional attachment. Ain’t that right, Tuck? 不带任何感情 对吧 塔克
[54:07] – Huh? What? – How was it back there, man? -什么 -在后面爽的怎么样 伙计
[54:10] Good. Real… Really good. 很好 非常好
[54:14] I gotta go to bed. 我要去睡了
[54:18] He’s tired! That’s what I’m talkin’ about! 他不行了 这才是我要说的
[54:29] When you give something to a bitch, 当你给一个婊子东西的时候
[54:32] They don’t do nothing but take. 她们除了收下 什么也不做
[54:36] That’s why I don’t give them nothing but the dick. 所以除了我老二 我什么也不会给她们
[54:41] ‘Cause they can’t take that away. 因为她们没法拿走我的老二
[54:45] You’ll see tomorrow at the mansion. 明天你就能看到了 在派对上
[54:48] We’ll run a train on, like, seven, 我们要来个做爱接龙 比如 接七个
[54:51] Eight, nine, eleven 八个 九个 十一个
[54:53] Ain’t a playmate there I ain’t tagged yet. 这儿没有我没玩过的女人
[54:56] Wait a minute. What? 等一下 你说什么
[54:57] All of them, dog. 所有的娘儿们 伙计
[54:59] Okay. Horsedick, you couldn’t have “hit” all of them. 巨炮 你不可能把她们都”袭击”了
[55:02] – I mean, that’s crazy. – Miss January on my dick. -那太疯狂了 -一月小姐在我的鸡巴上
[55:06] Miss February on my dick. 二月小姐也在我的鸡巴上
[55:08] – Miss March? – On my dick, dog! -三月小姐呢 -在我的鸡巴上 哥们
[55:11] Cindi Whitehall. Have you had sex with her? 辛迪·怀特霍尔 她也跟你上床了
[55:13] Man, I had that bitch screamin’ like her house was on fire. 哥们 我让那婊子叫的跟她家着火了一样
[55:17] She was chomping down on my dick like 她吸我的鸡巴
[55:18] It was a hot-dog eating contest… 就像参加吃热狗比赛似的
[55:19] And she was some little Asian dude. 而且她有点像亚洲人
[55:30] What the fuck? 这他妈的算哪出
[55:39] Get the fuck back here, you pervert! 滚回来 你这个变态
[55:41] I hope you get V.D.. And your dick falls off! 我诅咒你得性病 诅咒你掉鸡巴
[55:44] Cindi would never sleep with you! 辛迪永远不可能跟你上床
[55:51] Oh, fuck. 妈的
[55:53] You all right, man? 你还好吗 伙计
[55:55] She slept with him. 她跟他睡了
[55:57] She slept with a shallow, ignorant asshole like that! 她跟这么一个粗俗 无知的混蛋睡了
[56:04] How could she do that? 她怎么会那样
[56:08] I don’t even know what I’m doing out here, Tucker. 我不知道我还在这干嘛 塔克
[56:10] She’s gone. 她已经走了
[56:11] She’s not gone, man. She just had sex with a guy. 她没走 伙计 她只是跟别人睡了而已
[56:16] She’s still Cindi. 她还是辛迪
[56:18] But we had something special. 我们以前不是这样的
[56:24] You wouldn’t understand. 你不会理解的
[56:27] Come on, man. 振作点 伙计
[56:29] We got a long way to walk. 前路漫漫呢
[56:40] Man, I wish Candace were here. 我真希望坎蒂斯在这儿
[56:43] Really? Again? 当真 我还得再说一次吗
[56:46] She’s trying to kill you. 她要杀了你
[56:48] Yeah. She has a car though. 话是没错 不过她好歹有辆车啊
[56:51] We have 12 hours to get across two states. 我们要在12小时内穿过两个州
[56:55] Hey! 停一下
[56:59] People are assholes. 这些人都是混蛋
[57:02] Someone will stop. Don’t worry, dude. Things work out. 总有人会停的 别担心 老弟 车到山前必有路
[57:05] No, they don’t. Things do not work out. 他们不会停的 船到桥头也不会直
[57:08] I am living proof of that. 我就是活生生的例子
[57:13] Are you boys looking for a ride? 你们两个在等车吗
[57:16] Here is the deal. I am katja. This is my girlfriend, Vonka. 听着 我是卡迪拉 这是我女朋友 温卡
[57:21] Your… girlfriend? 你的…女朋友
[57:24] Yes. We’re lesbians. Does that bother you? 对 我俩是蕾丝 有意见吗
[57:28] No. No. No. 没有 没有
[57:30] We’re driving to Los Angeles, 我们要开车去洛杉矶
[57:32] But we are just so madly 但是现在我们很恼火
[57:33] That we can’t keep our hands off each other. 因为腾不出手来互摸
[57:36] We have to make out and make love all the time. 我们要时时刻刻都能做爱
[57:41] So we need you boys to drive the car to Los Angeles… 所有需要你们来把车开到洛杉矶
[57:44] So we can get crazy in the backseat… 好让我们可以在后座上疯搞
[57:46] And make love and suck and fuck each other the whole way. 好让我们一整路都能做爱 相互慰藉
[57:51] Can you boys do that? 你们干吗
[57:54] Yeah. Yeah. We…we can do that. 行 行 我们… 我们干
[58:11] Katja. 卡迪拉
[58:14] Oh. Right there. Katja! 就是那儿 卡迪拉
[58:42] – Is there going to be a problem? – No. No. -有什么问题吗 -没有 没问题
[58:46] You almost make me bite vonka’s labia. 你们害我差点把温卡的阴唇咬下来
[58:49] Oh, sweet God. 天哪
[59:14] Thirty miles to Los Angeles. We’re almost there. 还有30公里就到洛杉矶了 我们快到了
[59:21] Is this going to happen every five minutes? 你准备5分钟就撞一次吗
[59:25] No. No. I got it. I got it. 不 不 我能搞定 能搞定
[59:33] No. 没有
[59:35] Ain’t seen shit in here. 什么都没见过
[59:41] Speak. 说
[59:42] One of our trucks saw them heading into Los Angeles. 我们的一辆车看到他们往洛杉矶去了
[59:45] Los Angeles. Of course. 洛杉矶 当然是洛杉矶
[59:48] Yeah, but the trail goes cold after that. 是的 但是后来就没消息了
[59:51] No, it doesn’t. 没关系
[59:53] You tell your men I know exactly where he’s going. 告诉你的人 我已经知道他们要去哪了
[1:00:08] Look, lesbians! Palm trees. 姐们儿 看呐 棕榈树
[1:00:11] You know, lesbians, I didn’t want to say anything before, 大姐们 本来我不想说什么
[1:00:14] But the car is really starting to smell. 但是车上已经开始有味了
[1:00:17] So we have an hour till this thing starts 我们只有一个小时了 派对快开始了
[1:00:20] You know where the mansion is? 你知道那个别墅在哪吗
[1:00:21] 10228 charring cross road, Los Angeles, Csalifornia, 90024. 加利福尼亚州洛杉矶市坎瑞路10228号 邮编90024
[1:00:28] What’s up, boys and girls? I’m Carrie Keagan, 各位别来无恙吧 我是凯瑞·凯根
[1:00:30] And we’re at PlayBoy’s annual anniversary bash. 现在 我们正在《花花公子》的周年晚会上
[1:00:35] I heard Horsedick.Mpeg is actually in the mansion right now. 听说巨炮·MPEG已经在里面了
[1:00:40] Wow. I can’t believe we made it. 天哪 简直不敢相信我们做到了
[1:00:44] My god. We’re 20 minutes late. 天哪 我们已经迟到了20分钟了
[1:00:45] They’ve already start the party 他们已经开始了
[1:00:49] Look. I think right there is where you sign in. 看 那边应该就是登记入口
[1:00:53] Oh, no. You have to be on that list. 不是吧 你得在受邀的名单上
[1:00:56] Oh, man. We are way out of our league. 靠 我们没戏了
[1:00:57] How the hell are we get in there… 我们怎么可能进得去
[1:00:58] We need some sort of angle. 我们得找点技巧
[1:01:12] Hey there, everybody. We are here to party. 大家好 我们是来狂欢的
[1:01:15] – Just here with our dates now. – Yeah. Not bad, huh? -带着女友来的 -没错 还行吧
[1:01:20] Pretty good. Hey, those are our dates. Hey, lesbians! 很好 她们是我们的女伴 姐们儿们
[1:01:23] Those are our… 她们是我们的…
[1:01:29] That didn’t work. Now, what do we do? 这招没用 我们现在怎么办
[1:01:36] It’s a trap. 是陷阱
[1:01:42] Wait a minute. What the hell’s going on? 等等 这他妈是怎么回事
[1:01:43] There’ no fire here. 这儿根本没火灾
[1:01:45] Sure there is. All right, men. Keep your eyes peeled. 肯定有 好了 小伙子们 擦亮你们的眼睛
[1:01:48] He’s around here somewhere. 他就在这附近
[1:01:53] Cover the rear, gentlemen. Come on! 仔细点找 伙计们 抓紧时间
[1:01:55] Let’s move! Let’s at this party! 我们闪吧 去参加派对吧
[1:01:57] Go on, move, move! 继续 大家都进去 进去
[1:01:59] Eugene. 尤金
[1:02:01] – I think I have a plan. – What? -我有办法了 -什么
[1:02:04] – Follow me. – No, Tucker. Wait! -跟我来 -不行 塔克 等等
[1:02:09] I’m afraid. 我害怕
[1:02:12] Sorry about this, fellas. 不好意思了 伙计们
[1:02:14] We’re just dumb firemen trying to do our jobs. 我们也是职责所在
[1:02:45] All right, boys! Keep your eyes peeled 好了 小伙子们 擦亮你们的眼睛
[1:02:47] For that son of a bitch Tucker Cleigh… 把那个狗娘养的塔克·克雷找出来
[1:02:50] We have word he’s at this party! 我们得到消息他就在这儿
[1:02:59] Uh-uh. You gotta go to the back of the line, lady. 小姐 你得在后面排队
[1:03:02] Yeah, have fun at the party. Let her in! Let her in. 不用了 你玩得愉快 让她进去 让她进去
[1:03:08] Damn. Bitch is crazy. 妈的 婊子都是疯子
[1:03:14] Okay. First things first. 好了 重要的事先来
[1:03:16] Gotta get rid of these outfits and get poolside. 衣服脱了 然后去泳池那边
[1:03:18] What? Tucker, you can’t ditch your outfit. 什么 塔克 你不能脱掉这个
[1:03:20] What if the firemen see you? 要是那些消防员看见你怎么办
[1:03:21] I can’t work like this. 我总不能穿着这身去吧
[1:03:23] Firemen never get laid. Everyone knows that 消防员从来泡不到妞 人人都知道
[1:03:25] – People hate firemen. – What are you gonna do? -人们讨厌消防员 -那你想怎么办
[1:03:28] I’m gonna go mingle. 我准备混进去
[1:03:30] There’s three girls for every guy this party 这里可是三女陪一男
[1:03:33] Okay. Fine. Do me a favor and keep 好吧 帮我个忙
[1:03:33] Keep your eyes peeled for Cindi, all right? 帮我留意一下辛迪 行吗
[1:03:35] Okay. Good luck. 好的 祝你好运
[1:03:46] Hey, ladies. 你们好 女士们
[1:03:49] I’m from South Carolina. 我是从南卡罗莱纳州来的
[1:04:02] Hey, gorgeous. So- what are your hobbies? 你好啊 美女 你有什么爱好呢
[1:04:06] – My hobbies? -Yeah, you know What are your turn-ons? -我的爱好 -对啊 比如 有什么性癖好啊
[1:04:11] Shit. Where’s my pepper spray? 妈的 我的驱狼喷雾哪去了
[1:04:26] Hey, Girl of my dreams. 你好啊 我的梦中情人
[1:04:28] Ugh! 恶心
[1:04:33] Hey! All right. Milf. 不错啊 大婶
[1:04:37] – I’m 25. – Really? -我才25 -当真
[1:04:40] Fuck off. 去你妈的
[1:04:51] Sara Jean Underwood, 萨拉·简·昂德伍德
[1:04:54] Playmate of the year, 2007? 07年年度女郎
[1:04:56] – That’s me. – Oh, my god! It’s such an honor to meet you! -是我 -天呐 遇到你真是三生有幸
[1:05:01] – Aw. Well, thank you. – I’m Tucker Cleigh. -谢谢 -我是塔克·克雷
[1:05:03] And who is this little guy? 这个小家伙是谁
[1:05:05] Oh, this is Puddles, and he’s a rescue. 他叫庞德斯 他是个流浪狗
[1:05:08] I got him from the pound last week even. 我上个星期才从收容站把他领回来
[1:05:09] Oh, no way. I call the pound all the time. 不可能 我一直都在给收容站打电话
[1:05:12] – You do? – Yeah. Last week even. -是吗 -对啊 上个星期还打了呢
[1:05:14] Some loser lost his jerk Labrador… 一个白痴把他的垃圾拉布拉多弄丢了
[1:05:16] ‘Cause I caught him going through my trash looking for food. 我逮到它在我的垃圾堆里找吃的
[1:05:19] And you sent this “Jerk Labrador” to the pound? 所以你就把这只”垃圾拉布拉多”给了收容站
[1:05:23] -Big time. -That’s horrible. -是的 -那太恐怖了
[1:05:25] No. I know. I mean, what? Why? 对 我知道 什么 怎么了
[1:05:28] Because they put dogs to sleep at the pound. 因为人人都把狗都送去收容站
[1:05:31] They were gonna put Puddles here down ’cause 他们之所以要把庞德斯给我
[1:05:33] He was sick and nobody would adopt him. 是因为它病了 没人愿意领养它
[1:05:35] So I took him home with me and I’ve 所以我把它带了回家
[1:05:36] I’ve slowly been nursing it back to health. 而且我照顾它慢慢好了起来
[1:05:38] Whoa. That’s so weird. 天哪 这可真奇怪
[1:05:40] It is? 有什么奇怪的
[1:05:43] I mean, I just I didn’t realize that human beings… 我只是想说 我没想到人类还能…
[1:05:46] Could “nurse” dogs. 母乳喂养狗 [此处”照顾”和”授乳”是同一个词]
[1:05:50] I’m not literally “nursing” him. 我不是说字面意义上的”授乳”
[1:05:53] Oh! I thought you meant with your- 我还以为是用你的…
[1:05:55] I’m sorry. I was… I was thinking about… your boobs. 对不起 我在想 在想你的大奶
[1:06:01] I mean, because that sort of stuff does happen nowadays, 我是说 大千世界无奇不有
[1:06:05] Especially with modern times. 尤其是现在这么前卫的时代
[1:06:07] And I’ve seen that on the internet a bunch. 我在网上看过很多类似的事
[1:06:10] You’ve seen a lot of that on the internet? 你在网上看过很多
[1:06:13] Yeah I mean. Some girls even make love to dogs 对 我是说 有的女孩甚至跟狗做爱
[1:06:18] On the Internet 在网上
[1:06:19] Not that’s good at all. That’s bad 这不是什么好事 很不好
[1:06:23] Unless you do that, and then, whatever. 除非是你 总之 不管怎样
[1:06:26] I’m not judging. 我不是在指责谁
[1:06:27] I’m sorry, Tucker. Who is it that you’re here with again? 不好意思 塔克 我忘了 你跟谁一起来的
[1:06:30] I-I’m sorry. I have such a problem with rambling, 对不起 我总是会变得语无伦次
[1:06:33] Especially when I’m meeting people like you. 尤其是碰见像你这么漂亮的女孩的时候
[1:06:37] I’m always blowing first impressions. 我总是想留下个好的第一印象
[1:06:39] Can we just start over? Give me another chance. 我们重来一次好吗 再给我一次机会
[1:06:42] Can I get you a drink or anything? 我给你拿杯喝的好吗 或者来点别的
[1:06:43] That’s sweet, Tucker. 那很贴心 塔克
[1:06:44] But I actually have to take Puddle out to the lawn. 但我得把庞德斯带出去了
[1:06:46] He has to go to the bathroom pretty badly. 它尿急了
[1:06:48] I’ll take him to the bath room 我带他去厕所
[1:06:49] No, that’s really not necessary. 不用了 没那个必要了
[1:06:51] I insist. It’s the least I can do. 让我去吧 我也只能帮上这么点忙了
[1:06:54] – Please? – Okay. Okay. -拜托 -好了 好吧
[1:06:57] Tucker. You win. 塔克 你赢了
[1:06:59] You won’t regret this, playmate of the year, 2007! 你不会后悔的 07女郎
[1:07:03] Bring him right back! 快点带他回来
[1:07:07] Oh, my God! That is the cutest little dog I’ve ever seen! 天呐 这是我见过的最可爱的狗
[1:07:12] Is it yours? 是你的吗
[1:07:14] What is his name? 他叫什么名字
[1:07:15] – I think it’s… – Oh, my God! Look at his little feet! -他叫… -天哪 看他的小爪子
[1:07:19] I love men with dogs. 我喜欢养狗的男人
[1:07:21] – Really? – Yeah. -真的吗 -真的
[1:07:23] My last boyfriend hated dogs. Such an asshole! 我的上一个男朋友不喜欢狗 真是个混蛋
[1:07:27] I mean, what kind of psycho doesn’t like dogs! 我是说 居然不喜欢狗 简直是心理变态
[1:07:29] And that’s just when I knew that he was not for me. 也就是那时起 我确定了他不是我的菜
[1:07:31] I mean, Look at his little paws! 看看他的小爪子 多可爱
[1:07:34] – Yeah, they’re pretty small. – I know, right? -是啊 是很小 -我就说吧
[1:07:42] What? 怎么了
[1:07:44] – Nothing. – I just want to talk to you all night. -没事 -我想整晚都跟你聊天
[1:07:50] Can you get me, like, another drink? 你能再帮我拿一杯吗
[1:07:55] Wow! You’re good! 动作真快啊
[1:07:59] This tastes like shit! 这是什么味啊
[1:08:01] I mean, the other one tasted different, you know. 刚才那杯就不一样
[1:08:04] – It tasted like… I don’t know… – Pee? -喝起来就像… 我也说不上来 -尿
[1:08:08] No! You’re funny. 不 你真有意思
[1:08:11] Okay. Here’s the plan. 好了 听我的
[1:08:13] I’m gonna go use the littile girl’s room 我要先去趟洗手间
[1:08:15] You’re gonna go find me some more of the good stuff. 你再去给我找点好东西
[1:08:17] And then we’re gonna rendezvous back 然后我们到这里会合
[1:08:19] Here in, like, five minutes, okey? 大概五分钟左右吧 清楚吗
[1:08:20] And make sure you bring him! 而且记得要带上它
[1:08:23] Okay. Bye. 好吧 回头见
[1:08:32] …cute t-shirt. 可爱的T恤
[1:08:34] I’m, like, that’s cool. Whatever. Make a wish. 我想 酷 不管了 先许个愿再说
[1:08:37] Then this little motherfucker… 结果 这个天杀的…
[1:08:40] Hits me… And poops all over my bus. 给了我一拳 还拉得我的巴士到处都是屎
[1:08:43] Man, I hate poop. 混账 我讨厌屎
[1:08:45] I’m hopin’ those little shits do make it over here. 我希望那俩天杀的也来了
[1:08:48] Gonna kill that little bitch. He’s gonna suck my dick. 我要杀了那狗娘养的 还要让他舔我的老二
[1:08:52] I’m-a just gonna hold his little dead head right there. 我要抓住他的死人头
[1:08:56] That’s what’s up, man. 对 就应该这样
[1:08:58] That’s what’s up. 就应该这样
[1:09:04] Come on, Puddles. Come on. Come on, Puddles. Come on. 快点 庞德斯 加油 庞德斯 尿啊
[1:09:07] What’s the matter? Here we go. Here we go. 怎么了你 来来来
[1:09:10] Here we go. Here we go. Put it over that and go. 来来来 准备 尿
[1:09:13] Puddles, go to the bathroom. 庞德斯 快尿
[1:09:16] What’s the matter? 怎么了你
[1:09:17] Maybe you’re empty. 可能你尿干了
[1:09:19] Um…No. Here we go. A little beer? 来点啤酒怎么样
[1:09:23] Little beer. Little bit of beer. 来点啤酒 来一点
[1:09:26] – Little bit of- – Oh, my God! -来一点 -天呐
[1:09:31] Oh, my God! Puddles! 我的天 庞德斯
[1:09:35] What the shit? 你他妈在干嘛
[1:09:38] – Oh! Sorry. – Hi. May I help you? -对不起 -需要我帮忙吗
[1:09:40] Um, no. No, thank you. 不用了 谢谢
[1:09:42] Actually, yeah. Have you seen Cindi Whitehall around here? 对了 你在附近看到辛迪·怀特霍尔了吗
[1:09:46] Oh, my god. Are you a stalker? 天呐 难道你是个跟踪狂
[1:09:49] – We have a 2-1 4! – What? I’m not a stalker. -这里有个变态 -什么 我不是跟踪狂
[1:09:52] Oh, good. What are you drinkin’? 那就好 要喝点什么吗
[1:09:55] Nothing. Never mind. 不用 我不喝了
[1:09:59] So we’re goin’at it there in the driveway, and she’s, like, 我们沿着私人车道开到那里 然后她说
[1:10:02] “Oh, my God, this is the best sex I have ever had.” “天呐 那是我试过的最棒的一次性体验”
[1:10:07] And I’m, like, “everyone keeps telling me that.” 然后我就说 “大家都这么说”
[1:10:12] Isn’t that weird? 不觉得奇怪吗
[1:10:14] Isn’t… 不觉得…
[1:10:42] The grotto. 仙境传说
[1:10:48] Um, excuse me, sir. I’m looking for Cindi Whitehall. 不好意思 我想找辛迪·怀特霍尔
[1:10:52] What you want with Cindi Whitehall? 你找辛迪·怀特霍尔干嘛
[1:10:54] Oh, I’m her boyfriend. 我是她男朋友
[1:10:55] Or I was her boyfriend, but then 或者说我曾经是她的男朋友 但是后来
[1:10:57] – We got separated. – We got a 2-14. -我们分开了 -这儿有个变态
[1:10:59] No, no, no. I’m not a stalker. Ow! I’m not a stalker! 不不不 我不是跟踪狂 我不是
[1:11:01] I came across the country just to see her. 我大老远跑来就是为了见见她
[1:11:17] No, Cindi! I’m her boyfriend from high school! 辛迪 我是她高中的男朋友
[1:11:20] – Eugene? – We were sweethearts in high school! -尤金 -我们在高中是一对的
[1:11:24] Eugene? 尤金
[1:11:27] Oh! Candace! 坎蒂斯
[1:11:30] Good to see you. 见到你太好了
[1:11:32] I was worried sick. 我很担心你
[1:11:36] Uh, how are you? 你还好吗
[1:11:38] Your face looks… 你看起来…
[1:11:44] Coming along. 别来无恙啊
[1:11:45] By the way, sorry about that. 还有 很抱歉
[1:11:49] Did I ever tell you that, ’cause I’m not sure… 我没告诉过你吗 我不确定…
[1:11:51] You get back here, Tucker Cleigh! 塔克·克雷 你给我回来
[1:11:54] There he is! 他在那儿
[1:11:56] Ow! Let me go! Ow! 放开 让我走
[1:11:59] You’re gonna sit your ass here till the police show up! 你给我乖乖坐在这等警察过来
[1:12:01] I need to talk to cindi! I’m not a stalker! I know her! 我要见辛迪 我不是跟踪狂 我认识她
[1:12:08] Quick! To the second floor! 快 快上二楼
[1:12:10] Fan out! 让开
[1:12:21] Come on, boys. He went that way. 快点 伙计们 他去那边了
[1:12:28] Lesbians! Help me break this door down. 姐们儿 帮我把这门打开
[1:12:31] Where are the bedrooms? 卧室在哪
[1:12:33] Vonka and I thought of a new position, 我和温卡想找个新地方
[1:12:34] And we need a bed 还要张床
[1:12:36] There’s bedrooms through this door! And jacuzzis too. 通过这扇门就是卧室了 还有浴缸
[1:12:40] – There are? – Jacuzzis? -真的 -浴缸
[1:12:42] – Yeah. But it’s locked. You gotta help me. – Step aside. -真的 但是锁住了 你们得帮我 -闪一边去
[1:13:11] – Okay. Come on. Go, go, go, go, go! – There he is! Get him! -好了 快进去快进去 -他在这儿 抓住他
[1:13:20] Good idea, lesbians! 姐们儿 好主意
[1:13:23] Lesbians! Lesbians! 姐们儿 姐们儿
[1:13:38] What seems to be the problem, son? 你有什么事吗 年轻人
[1:13:42] Oh, my god! Oh, my god! 天呐 天呐
[1:13:44] I can’t look. I can’t look. I can’t look, I can’t look. 我没看见 我没看见 我没看见 我没看见
[1:13:47] Oh! Oh! I can’t… Oh, my God! 我没… 我的天呐
[1:13:49] Relax, son. What’s your name? 放松点儿 年轻人 你叫什么
[1:13:52] Oh! Tucker Cleigh, sir. 先生 我叫塔克·克雷
[1:13:55] And I am your biggest fan. 我非常崇拜你
[1:13:58] I try to apply your methods and 我一直努力地把你的方法
[1:13:59] Principles to every aspect of my life. 和原则运用到我自己的生活里
[1:14:02] Oh, yeah? How’s that workin’ out for you? 是吗 效果怎么样
[1:14:05] – Good! Great. Awesome. – Well, that’s great. -好啊 很好 非常好 -是吗 那就好
[1:14:09] The party’s outside. Have a good time. 外面在开派对 祝你玩得开心
[1:14:19] Something wrong? 有什么不对的吗
[1:14:23] Well, yeah, actually. 说实话 是有点麻烦
[1:14:28] Things haven’t been going so great for me lately. 我最近不是很顺
[1:14:33] I mean, I’m here at the playboy mansion, 我是说 我现在就在《花花公子》的大宅里
[1:14:36] And.. I’m still striking out. 可我还是很失败
[1:14:41] I don’t get it. 我就没成功过
[1:14:45] Have a seat, son. 坐下吧 年轻人
[1:14:51] Eugene? 尤金
[1:14:53] Cindi. 辛迪
[1:14:54] Oh, my god! I can’t believe this! 我的天 我真不敢相信
[1:14:57] – When did you wake up? – About three days ago. -你什么时候醒过来的 -大约三天前
[1:15:01] – How did you find me? – It wasn’t too hard. -你是怎么找到我的 -其实也不是很难
[1:15:05] – What does that mean? – Where have you been? -什么意思 -你去哪儿了
[1:15:08] What? 什么
[1:15:10] – Where have you been? – I’ve been a couple of places. -你去哪儿了 -我去了不少地方
[1:15:13] – Been working. – Working? -去工作 -工作
[1:15:16] Working as what? A whore? 什么工作 做小姐
[1:15:19] Stop that! I know him. 住手 我认识他
[1:15:22] Sorry, miss. It just really sticks in 对不起 小姐 只是有些人不尊重女人
[1:15:24] My craw when people disrespect women. 我看着就火大
[1:15:27] What? 什么
[1:15:28] Eugene, how could you say something like that? 尤金 你怎么可以那样说我
[1:15:32] You left me 你抛弃了我
[1:15:33] You left me in a hospital bed 你把我扔在病床上
[1:15:35] When I needed you the most. 在我最需要你的时候
[1:15:36] Eugene, you were in a coma for four years. 尤金 你昏迷了四年
[1:15:38] Yeah! I was in a coma, and you’ve been 没错 我昏迷了 然后你就跑了
[1:15:40] Running around doing god knows what! 天知道你干了些什么
[1:15:43] – What are you talking about? – You’re doing pornography. -你在说什么 -你在从事色情行业
[1:15:46] You’re posing naked for everyone to see. 你拍裸照 让人人都能看见
[1:15:49] – Eugene. – How many guys have you slept with, Cindi? -尤金 -你跟多少人睡过了 辛迪
[1:15:51] 100 200 100? 200?
[1:15:59] Just imagine how you would feel, Cindi, 辛迪 想象一下 换成是你 你会怎么想
[1:16:03] If you woke up one morning, 要是你哪天早上醒来
[1:16:06] And everyone that you loved had left you, 发现你爱的人都离开了你
[1:16:09] And your dad had bailed on you, 你爸爸抛下了你
[1:16:11] And the one person that you thought 然后那个你认为
[1:16:13] Would always be there for you 会永远在你身边的人
[1:16:14] Is out flashing her tits to the world… 却在向全世界袒胸露背
[1:16:17] And blowing everyone she meets. 而且还跟每一个她认识的人上床
[1:16:21] So, you…you have a girlfriend. 那么 你有女朋友了
[1:16:23] Yeah, and she’s great. She’s the 是没错 而且她很棒
[1:16:25] Coolest chick I ever met. 她是我见过的最酷的妞儿
[1:16:28] Most girls want to kill me after two or three nights, 大多数女的都会在两三晚之后就想杀了我
[1:16:30] And it took her 13 whole months. 但她却坚持了整整13个月
[1:16:33] Then what’s the problem? 那还有什么问题呢
[1:16:34] Sounds like you found a great girl. 听起来你已经找到个很好的女孩了
[1:16:36] She is great. It’s just I can’t get settled down yet. 她是很不错 只是我还不能安定下来
[1:16:40] I have to hit a respectable quota. 我得累积到一个足够炫耀的数量才行
[1:16:43] Tucker, it’s the quality, not the quantity, 塔克 重要的是爱情的质量
[1:16:46] Of the relationships that counts. 而不是数量
[1:16:49] But you’re dating seven women at once. 可是 你同时跟七个女人约会
[1:16:55] Here. Look at this. 看这个
[1:16:59] Oh! Gross! 靠 真恶心
[1:17:02] – That’s Gertrude Vonbrauer. – What’s wrong with her eye? -她叫格特鲁德·万宝尔 -她的眼睛怎么了
[1:17:06] – It’s dead. – Aah! -瞎了 -天呐
[1:17:08] Gertrude was my next door neighbor. 格特鲁德以前是我的邻居
[1:17:10] Our childhood friendship blossomed 我们小时候的友谊在高中的时候
[1:17:12] Into a romance by high school. 发展成爱情
[1:17:14] Hef, no! 天 不会吧
[1:17:16] Tucker, yes. 塔克 是真的
[1:17:18] Gertrude Vonbrauer was the love of my life. 格特鲁德·万宝尔是我一生的爱
[1:17:21] But she’s, like.. 可她基本算是…
[1:17:24] The worst-looking person I have ever seen. 我见过的最丑的人
[1:17:29] Give me back that photograph. 把照片还给我
[1:17:37] Gertrude died when she was 18 years old. 格特鲁德在她18岁时就死了
[1:17:39] Oh, thank God. 谢天谢地
[1:17:44] Tucker, the point I’m trying to make… 塔克 我想说的是
[1:17:46] Is that when you find that special someone in your life, 当你遇到自己的那个”命中注定”
[1:17:49] You have to hold on to them. 你得抓住他们
[1:17:51] Now, I’ve known quite a few women in my life, 我这辈子已经认识了不少女人
[1:17:54] And I’ve had a phenomenal sex life. 也曾有过惊人的性生活
[1:17:57] But I’d trade it all in for just one more afternoon… 但我宁愿用那一切来换取一个下午的时间
[1:18:01] With this young 18-year-old girl from Milford, Kentucky. 跟这个肯塔基州米尔福德港的姑娘在一起
[1:18:05] Who’s busted. 她真的很丑
[1:18:07] Tucker, there’s a bunny… 塔克 每一个女人
[1:18:10] Deep down inside each and every woman. 内心深处都有美丽的地方
[1:18:14] They’re just not bunnies you’d put in your magazine. 但你不会把她们放进你的杂志
[1:18:18] No, they’re not. 是的 我不会
[1:18:20] But if you can see the bunny in those girls, 但如果你看见了这些女孩心里的美好
[1:18:23] Then you’re on to something, my friend. 你就会有所收获的
[1:18:27] I think I get it. 我想我明白了
[1:18:29] I was trying to turn my girlfriend into a playboy bunny, 我以前只是在盲目追求外表
[1:18:35] And that’s why she had that seizure… 怪不得当我拿叉子戳她脸的时候
[1:18:36] When I stabbed her in the face a bunch. 她会气得抓狂
[1:18:39] But if I just realized she was a bunny, 但如果我之前就意识到她有多美丽
[1:18:42] Then none of these firemen would be trying to kill me. 那些消防员就不会气得想要杀我了
[1:18:47] I gotta be honest with you. I’m gonna call security. 我得老实跟你说 我要叫警卫了
[1:18:50] Okay, Mr. Hefner. Thanks for the talk. 好吧 赫夫纳先生 谢谢你的指教
[1:18:54] No problem, son. 不用谢 年轻人
[1:18:56] Look, I’ve said what I have to say. 我要说的已经说完了
[1:18:59] There’s nothing else to do. 就这样了
[1:19:01] Things will never be the same 一切都回不去了
[1:19:03] Because I am always couldn’t think 因为我会忍不住想
[1:19:05] About you with those guys. 你和其他男人在一起
[1:19:10] I don’t even know why I came here. 我都不知道我为什么要来这儿
[1:19:13] Closure, I think. 我想 是时候结束了吧
[1:19:15] Eugene, everything I’ve done since you 尤金 你跌下楼梯后我所做的每一件事
[1:19:18] Fell down the stair has been for you. 都是为了你
[1:19:20] Oh, yeah, right. Posing naked in playboy 是吗 是啊 为《花花公子》拍裸照
[1:19:23] Is really helping me a lot. 真是帮了我不少啊
[1:19:24] Thanks for that. 真要谢谢你了
[1:19:25] Eugene, where do you think the money came from? 尤金 那你认为那些钱是哪儿来的
[1:19:28] – What money? – The money for your hospital care. -什么钱 -你住院的医药费
[1:19:33] Your dad didn’t think that you would ever wake up, 你爸爸认为你不会醒过来了
[1:19:35] And he was gonna have you moved to a class “D” hospice 他准备把你转移到最差的病房
[1:19:37] Where they basically just store you till you die. 基本上就是想把你放在那儿等死
[1:19:43] I sent whatever money I could… 我把我能挣到的钱都寄给你了
[1:19:45] From part-time waitressing during college, 但光靠在大学兼职做服务员挣的那点钱
[1:19:47] But it never really amounted to much. 远远不够支付你的医药费
[1:19:49] Then I started making some real money modeling… 然后我就开始做模特儿赚钱
[1:19:52] And had you moved to a better treatment center. 让你搬到一个更好的医疗中心
[1:19:58] Tucker never told you any of this? 塔克从来没跟你说过这些吗
[1:20:03] No. He never did. 没有 从来没有
[1:20:07] All stalkers out of the mansion. 把跟踪狂带出去集合
[1:20:11] Let me go! 放开我
[1:20:16] – Eugene! – Tucker! -尤金 -塔克
[1:20:18] I met Hef. He talked to me. 我遇见赫夫纳了 他跟我说话了
[1:20:20] I think I had a breakthrough. 我想我有突破了
[1:20:21] How could you, you son of a bitch? 你怎么能这样 你个混蛋
[1:20:23] What are you talking about? 你在说什么
[1:20:24] You fucking brought me all the way 你个混蛋一路把我带到这里
[1:20:26] Out here to your stupid party. 来参加这个鬼派对
[1:20:28] – When you knew Cindi never left me! – Eugene! -其实你早就知道辛迪没有抛弃我 -尤金
[1:20:30] Wait. She was at the hospital the whole time? 等等 难道她一直都呆在医院
[1:20:32] Don’t play dumb with me! She was 别跟我鬼扯 是她在
[1:20:34] Paying for my medical bill. 支付我的医药费
[1:20:36] How could you not know that? 你怎么可能不知道
[1:20:38] Mister’s girlfriend not pay all this money 先生的女朋友花这些钱
[1:20:40] For you to use this for your own. 可不是给你用的
[1:20:41] Juanita, I don’t speak Spanish. Undale! Undale! 莱尼塔 我不会说西班牙语 快走开
[1:20:45] The Mister’s girlfriend is on the phone. 先生的女朋友打电话来了
[1:20:46] You want to talk to him? 你要跟她说两句吗
[1:20:48] Go away, Juanita. 走开 莱尼塔
[1:20:49] What an angel that young Cindi Whitehall is… 辛迪·怀特霍尔小姐简直是个天使
[1:20:51] For paying all this man’s medical bills. 居然支付这个男人所有的费用
[1:20:53] I’ve never seen more devotion in 我行医这么多年
[1:20:54] All my years of medicine. 就没见过这么死心塌地的爱
[1:20:57] Juanita, I’m trying to do something. Do you comprende? 莱尼塔 我要做事 你能不能走开
[1:21:00] No! 不
[1:21:01] You let me think Cindi had abandoned me! 你害我以为辛迪抛弃了我
[1:21:04] But wait a minute. 等等
[1:21:05] If Cindi was paying your hospital bill this all time. 如果辛迪一直在支付你的医疗费
[1:21:07] Then she obviously still loves you. 那显然她还爱着你
[1:21:09] – You should be excited. – Tucker Cleigh! -你应该开心才对啊 -塔克·克雷
[1:21:11] Candace! 坎蒂斯
[1:21:14] And Candace’s brother, Rick! 还有坎蒂斯的兄弟 里克
[1:21:17] Put him down! 放下他
[1:21:22] You are gonna die for what you did to my sister. 敢这么对我妹妹 你死定了
[1:21:27] Make it slow, Rick. 慢慢来 里克
[1:21:30] There goes that sissy-hitting motherfucker! 那个娘娘腔的 狗娘养的
[1:21:34] – Eugene. So we meet again, huh? – Horsedick. -尤金 我们又见面了 -巨炮
[1:21:37] – Dot-mpeg! Dot-m peg! – Dot-mpeg. -加上-MPEG -MPEG –MPEG
[1:21:40] I was just telling my friends here, 我是来告诉你
[1:21:42] If I ever saw your pretty little face again. 要是再让我看到你这漂亮脸蛋
[1:21:44] I was gonna rip it off and fuck it. 我会把它撕开然后干它
[1:21:47] And I don’t lie to my friends. 我说到做到
[1:21:49] All right, men. Let’s do this fireman-style. 好了 伙计们 用消防员的方式来处置他
[1:21:52] Yeah! 好的
[1:21:59] I shall now bathe my steel in the blood of the offender. 我要让我的斧子沐浴在冒犯者的鲜血里
[1:22:03] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 等等等等等
[1:22:06] Before you kill me, let me just say one thing. 在你杀我之前 我只有一句话要说
[1:22:09] Candace, I know you’re mad 坎蒂斯 我知道你很生气
[1:22:12] And you have every right to do whatever you want to me. 你有权对我进行任何处置
[1:22:15] But I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. 我只想说 对不起
[1:22:19] See, I was just hangin’ out with Hef, 你知道吗 刚才我跟赫夫纳在一起
[1:22:21] I realized something. You’re my busted girl from Kentucky. 我明白了一些事情 你是我的肯塔基小丑女
[1:22:28] We both hate the same music and 我们讨厌同一种音乐
[1:22:30] Like getting wasted stuff. 我们都喜欢浪费东西
[1:22:31] And you like me despite all my faults. 不管我有多不好 你都喜欢我
[1:22:34] So the least I can do is look past yours. 所以我能做的就是回头看看你的毛病
[1:22:38] – My faults? – Yeah. Candace, your face is a wreck. -我的毛病 -没错 坎蒂斯 你破相了
[1:22:43] – You stabbed me! – That’s one of my faults. -你给了我一叉子 -是我不对
[1:22:46] And you have this really stupid hatred of strobe lights. 可是 你居然讨厌闪光灯
[1:22:50] When you have epilepsy, strobe lights trigger seizures. 如果你有癫痫病 闪光灯是会让人发作的
[1:22:53] See? That’s stupid. 对啊 那就很傻啊
[1:22:57] The point I’m trying to make is that none of that matters. 我想说的是那些都不重要
[1:23:00] I like you anyway. 不管怎样我都喜欢你
[1:23:02] Look, I always hoped when I met someone like you, 听着 我一直希望当我遇到你这样的女孩时
[1:23:06] I’d already have this crazy, impressive sexual history. 我已经有过疯狂且永生难忘的性爱史了
[1:23:09] But now I realize that none of that’s important… 但我现在知道了 那些都不重要
[1:23:11] Once you find someone that you truly love. 只要你找到了自己真心所爱的人
[1:23:14] And when I’m with you, 和你在一起的时候
[1:23:16] None of the other chicks let me have to pass the matter anyway. 任何妞儿都没法让我分心
[1:23:21] Candace, 坎蒂斯
[1:23:22] You’re the last person that I ever want to bang. 你就是我的真命天女
[1:23:26] And if your weird brain thing 如果你疯狂的大脑
[1:23:27] Makes you bite my junk while you are blowing me. 指挥你在和我上床的时候咬我的小鸡鸡
[1:23:29] Then so be it. 那你就咬吧
[1:23:33] I’ll never stab you again. 我再也不戳你了
[1:23:42] I love you, Tucker Cleigh. 我爱你 塔克·克雷
[1:23:49] God damn it! 靠
[1:23:52] I need to talk to Cindi. 我要见辛迪
[1:23:54] Well, that was real sweet. 想得真美啊
[1:23:57] How you gonna get out of this, Eugene? 你准备怎么离开这儿 尤金
[1:23:59] You gonna tell me you love me? 难不成你准备说你爱我
[1:24:01] Horsedick, you gotta let me go. I need to talk to Cindi. 巨炮 你得放我走 我要去见辛迪
[1:24:04] Why don’t you write a message for her on my dick, 不如你在我的小鸡鸡上给她留言
[1:24:07] And I will make sure she gets it. 我保证她会收到的
[1:24:14] You know what, Phil? 你知道吗 菲尔
[1:24:17] That kind of thing would have bothered me before 以前我确实很介意
[1:24:19] That you had sex with Cindi 介意你和辛迪上床
[1:24:20] But not now, ’cause I had a relationship with her. 可是现在不会了 因为我和她是相爱的
[1:24:25] She’s not just some trophy. She’s the total package. 她不是战利品 她是一份礼物
[1:24:27] And a guy like you, Horsedick- 不过像你巨炮这样的人
[1:24:30] You wouldn’t even know what to do with a girl like that. 你根本不懂该如何去珍惜那样的女孩
[1:24:32] I’ll say he wouldn’t. 我知道他不懂
[1:24:34] Cindi. 辛迪
[1:24:35] Cindi! Wh-what’s up, baby? How you doin’? 辛迪 怎么样 宝贝 你好吗
[1:24:39] Horsedick wouldn’t know what to do with a blow-up doll. 巨炮根本没法跟女人做爱
[1:24:41] – What? What is she talkin’ about? – Nothin’! -什么 她什么意思 -没什么
[1:24:44] Hey, let’s go back up to the mansion, y’all. 大家还是进去吧
[1:24:47] There’s a D.J., he’s supposed to be cold-blooded. Come on. 里面有个DJ 他很酷的 走吧
[1:24:49] Horsedick doesn’t have a dick. 巨炮根本就没有小鸡鸡
[1:24:52] Bitch! You promised. 臭婊子 你答应过的
[1:24:54] What? 什么
[1:24:54] Horsedick wasn’t born with genitalia. 巨炮生下来就没有生殖器
[1:24:57] He has to pee through a straw. 他要靠吸管来小便
[1:25:00] This bitch has gone crazy. 这婊子疯了
[1:25:01] Hey, everybody go to the Horsedick.Mpeg party bus! 大家到我的派对巴士上去吧
[1:25:04] Come on! It’s a party! 走啊 开派对去
[1:25:06] Wait a minute. 等等
[1:25:07] What about all those girls you banged? 那你身边那些女孩呢
[1:25:09] Yeah, dog. What about all the girls? 对啊 老兄 那些女孩呢
[1:25:12] You know what? I’ve never actually 你知道吗 我好像从没
[1:25:14] Seen Horsedick making with a whore. 见过巨炮跟女的做爱
[1:25:16] Why you wanna see that? 你要看那个干嘛
[1:25:18] Never thought I’d say this. 本来不想说这些的
[1:25:20] Fuck that! Let me see your pins, dog. 去他妈的 让我看看你的家伙
[1:25:23] I thought you’ve seen me… what you doin’? 我以为你看过了 你干什么
[1:25:36] It ain’t my fault. My mama was on acne medication. 又不是我的错 我妈妈那时在治疗痤疮
[1:25:39] Leave me alone! 离我远点
[1:25:46] Cindi. Cindi. 辛迪 辛迪
[1:25:49] Cindi. Listen, I’m sorry. 辛迪 对不起
[1:25:51] And what happened in the past is the past. 过去的都过去了
[1:25:54] What’s important is right now. I wanna… 现在才是最重要的 我想
[1:25:56] I wanna start over, 重新开始
[1:25:58] If you’ll have me. 要是你同意的话
[1:25:58] I just think that… 我只是想…
[1:26:04] Okay. 好吧
[1:26:06] Okay. I just have a question. Why didn’t you 还有个问题 为什么我醒来的时候
[1:26:08] Call me when I woke up in the hospital? 你没给我打电话
[1:26:10] I call the hospital every monday. When did you wake up? 我是每个星期一打电话 你什么时候醒的
[1:26:14] On, uh, wednesday. 星期三
[1:26:16] – And you just immediately ran off? – Yeah, I guess. -然后你立马就走了 -我想是的
[1:26:21] Tucker’s idea. 是塔克的主意吧
[1:26:23] Yeah. 没错
[1:26:25] We’ve really gotta get you some new friends. 看来你真得认识些新朋友了
[1:26:35] No. This one’s okay. 不用 这个挺好的
[1:26:53] Let ’em in. 让他们进来
[1:26:56] Let ’em in, damn it. 快点让他们进来 靠
[1:27:08] I’ll see you later. 我晚点找你
[1:27:08] Okay. Bye. 好的 拜拜
[1:27:17] – So, Candace, huh? – Yeah. Isn’t she the best? -所以 你认定坎蒂斯了 -是啊 她不好吗
[1:27:22] She’s somethin’ else, all right. 也对 她比较与众不同
[1:27:23] So you guys are like… You’re good now? 所以你俩现在是 很好了
[1:27:25] Yeah. Candace thinks that we should try to get pregnant. 对啊 而且坎蒂斯觉得我们该生个孩子
[1:27:28] You know, really try to work things out. 你知道的 来真的
[1:27:30] That’s a great idea, Tucker. 想法不错啊 塔克
[1:27:32] That is a great idea. 没错
[1:27:33] How are we gonna fight if there’s always baby around? 有孩子在身边我们就不可能打架了
[1:27:36] And I’m gonna see if Hef can hook me up 而且我要看看赫夫纳能不能帮我
[1:27:38] With an internship of a photo department. 让我进摄影部门
[1:27:40] – Hey, that’s awesome. – Yeah. -非常好 -没错
[1:27:42] So, what about you and Cindi? 那你跟辛迪呢
[1:27:45] I don’t know, but, uh, I feel really good about it. 还不知道 不过我觉得会不错的
[1:27:49] – Yeah? – Yeah. -是吗 -是的
[1:27:50] – Cool. – You wanna know something crazy? -酷 -想听点刺激的吗
[1:27:52] – You don’t have a dick. – No. -你没有小鸡鸡 -不是
[1:27:57] She’s upstairs waiting for me right now. 她现在在楼上等我呢
[1:27:59] – No! – Yep. -不可能 -真的
[1:28:02] Your first time is going to be with a playboy playmate… 你的初夜要和一个《花花公子》女郎
[1:28:06] At the playboy mansion? 在《花花公子》的大宅里度过
[1:28:08] – Yes. – How do you feel? -是的 -感觉如何
[1:28:10] Um, I feel ready. I feel ready. 我觉得我准备好了
[1:28:15] – Congratulations. – Thank you. -祝贺你 -谢谢
[1:28:16] A toast. 来干一杯
[1:28:18] – To new beginnings. – To new beginnings. Well put. -为了新的开始 -为了新的开始 说得好
[1:28:27] You’re probably gonna wanna have another one, 你最好再来一杯
[1:28:28] To your last hall. 在你上楼之前
[1:28:29] – Oh, yeah? – Yeah. -是吗 -是的
[1:28:32] All right, everybody, I’m goin’ upstairs, 好了 朋友们 我要上楼去了
[1:28:35] To have sex… 去做爱
[1:28:37] With my girlfriend! 和我的女朋友
[1:28:43] – Is it good? – Oh, yeah, Eugene. -还行吗 -很棒 尤金
[1:28:45] Yeah? 很棒吗
[1:28:47] That’s good, ’cause I’m tryin’ really hard. 那就好 我真的很努力了
[1:28:49] Oh, you’re doing a really good job, Eugene. 你做得很棒 尤金
[1:28:51] Does it feel good? 感觉好吗
[1:28:53] Okay. 那就好
[1:28:55] Oh, no. Eugene, be careful. Don’t overexert yourself. 别 尤金 小心点 不要用力过猛
[1:29:07] During my time in South Carolina, 我在南卡罗来纳州的这段时间
[1:29:10] I discovered a groundbreaking and new experimental way… 发现了一个开创性的新实验方法
[1:29:13] Of reinstating consciousness to the comatose. 能让昏迷者苏醒
[1:29:16] It has proven itself to be quite effective. 经过验证 效果显著
[1:29:39] I swear I saw this work once. 我发誓我见过成功的案例
[1:29:57] You’re a dead man, Tucker Cleigh. 你死定了 塔克·克雷
2009年

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