How to Make Love to a Woman(求爱指南)[2010]电影台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

电影名称：求爱指南
英文名称：How to Make Love to a Woman
年代：2010

推荐：千部英美剧台词本阅读

时间	英文	中文
[00:29]	Well, it sounds like you got the ball rolling	哦, 听上去你把球
[00:31]	in the right direction, man.	踢对了方向(有个好的开始),老兄.
[00:32]	What about this new girl you just signed? What’s her deal?	你刚签的那个新妞怎么样? 她有料吗?
[00:34]	I’m tellin’ you, this girl Nomi is really talented.	我告你,这妞诺咪非常有才.
[00:37]	She looks great, she sounds great.	她看上去很棒, 听上去也棒.
[00:39]	I got interest from media outlets, publicists.	不少媒体和推手都表示对其有兴趣.
[00:42]	I might have another gold album here, boss.	我说不定会弄出另一张金唱片,老板.
[00:44]	Down, Toodles.	蹲下, 图朵斯.
[00:45]	Toodles, shut up! Toodles, shut up!	图朵斯, 闭嘴! 图朵斯, 闭嘴!
[00:47]	Hey, boss. I got so many demos to get through here tonight.	嘿,老板. 今晚我得处理这么多样片.
[00:49]	If it’s all the same to you, could we just deal with this all tomorrow?	如果这全部对你没什么两样的话,我们能不能明天再弄?
[00:52]	– Of course. I’ll see you in the A.M. – All right.	– 当然. 明天早上见. – 好.
[00:54]	– Hi there. – Hi.	– 嗨. – 嗨.
[00:55]	– Oh, you look great. – Thank you.	– 哦,你看上去不错. – 谢谢.
[00:58]	Sorry I’m workin’ late. I just lost my intern.	抱歉我在加班. 我实习生不在.
[01:00]	He says he’s sick. I think he’s just hung over.	他说他生病了. 我想他是喝醉了没醒.
[01:02]	Well, I’ll be your intern.	哦, 我做你实习生吧.
[01:03]	– Wow. – What does it pay?	– 喔. – 报酬是什么?
[01:05]	I can start you off with a little fried rice.	我可以让你吃点炒米作为开始.
[01:07]	Maybe some Mongolian beef.	或许一点蒙古牛肉.
[01:08]	You got yourself a deal.	你替自己争取到了这交易.
[01:10]	Are you sure you’re ready for this?	你确信你准备好了吗?
[01:12]	This is really how you find new artists?	你真是这样发掘新艺人的吗?
[01:28]	Oh, I’m sorry you had to hear that.	哦, 很抱歉让你听这个.
[03:43]	Yeah!	耶!
[04:23]	You better use a rubber!	你最好戴上套!
[04:25]	And don’t leave me any surprises.	别给我任何意外.
[04:28]	Good night, Estaire.	晚安, Estaire.
[04:43]	– Hi, is Andy in? – Mmm, no.	– 嗨, 安迪在吗? – 嗯, 不在.
[04:46]	Well, I was wondering if…	呃, 我想知道是否…
[04:54]	It’s not that bad.	不错.
[04:55]	“Nomi sings with the emotional depth of a 12-year-old.”	“诺咪用12岁的感情深度唱歌.”
[04:58]	See?	看到吗?
[04:59]	It’s not that bad.	并不是那么差.
[05:01]	Just wait till the message boards and blogs get ahold of it.	只需等到留言板和博客都是这新闻.
[05:03]	– Probably wanna kill yourself. – Anything else?	– 可能想杀了你自己. – 还有其它的吗?
[05:05]	Layne called, took a message… lost it.	雷尼来过电话, 留了言… 挂了.
[05:09]	– You’re doing great work here. – Thanks.	– 你干得很棒. – 谢谢.
[05:12]	My stomach is all messed up now. Maybe they’re right.	我的胃现在一团糟. 或许他们是对的.
[05:17]	Nomi, a 12-year-old?	诺咪, 12岁?
[05:19]	You are so talented.	你非常有才.
[05:22]	That’s one person’s opinion.	这只是一个人的意见.
[05:23]	Would I have fought for you so hard if I didn’t believe in you?	如果我不信任你,我会这么努力为你争取吗?
[05:26]	You had to fight for me? Clive didn’t want to sign me?	你得为我去争取? 克莱夫不想签我?
[05:29]	No, not at first. But that’s just how Clive is.	不,开始不想. 但克莱夫就是这样.
[05:32]	But once you’ve sold him, it’s over. You got him.	但一旦你卖给他,就结了. 你搞定他了.
[05:34]	And then he’s gonna put you exactly where you wanna be.	然后他会让你达到你想要去的高度.
[05:37]	He’s going to dump my album, isn’t he? He’s going to dump me.	他要放弃我的唱片,是吗? 他要放弃我.
[05:39]	He’s gonna love you, Nomi. I got you on the list.	他会爱你的. 诺咪. 我名单上有你.
[05:42]	You’re playing this weekend, showcase at The Bonneville.	这周末你要在邦尼威尔的秀场表演.
[05:45]	He’ll love it.	他会喜欢的.
[05:46]	– Andy. – No. Nomi, I don’t wanna hear it.	– 安迪. – 不. 诺咪, 我不想听.
[05:48]	You can do it, and you will do it.	你能做到, 你会做到的.
[05:57]	Surprise!	惊喜!
[05:59]	Lauren. What’s all this?	劳伦. 这干嘛?
[06:01]	Did you light candles?	你有点蜡烛吗?
[06:03]	Drinking wine?	喝红酒?
[06:05]	Hello, what does it look like I’m doing?	喂, 我看上去像在干嘛?
[06:07]	I made your favorite dinner.	我为你做了你喜爱的晚餐.
[06:08]	Oh, my goodness.	哦,我的天.
[06:10]	Well, of course you did.	哦, 当然你做了.
[06:11]	You look super sexy.	你看上去极其性感.
[06:14]	Thank you very much.	非常感谢.
[06:15]	Wow.	哇.
[06:17]	Wow.	哇.
[06:22]	And you have no idea what today is, do you?	你一点也不知道今天是什么日子吗?
[06:25]	Uh…	嗯…
[06:27]	Wait.	等等.
[06:30]	I know it’s not your birthday because that’s in April.	我知道不是你生日因为那是四月.
[06:34]	My birthday’s in June.	我生日是六月.
[06:37]	‘Cause we went to Big Bear.	因为我们去了大熊湖.
[06:39]	We went to Catalina.	我们去了凯特利那(太平洋中靠近洛杉矶的一个小岛).
[06:42]	Right.	对.
[06:45]	Is it my birthday?	这是我生日吗?
[06:48]	It’s our anniversary, genius.	这是我们相识周年,天才.
[06:51]	It is?	是吗?
[06:52]	Yeah, it’s been a year.	是,已经一年了.
[06:54]	Well, no wonder you made dinner.	哦,难怪你做了这顿饭.
[06:56]	We have to celebrate this wonderful occasion.	我们得庆祝这个美妙的时刻.
[06:59]	Mm-hmm.	嗯- 哼.
[07:00]	Lauren, I’m sorry.	劳伦, 抱歉.
[07:03]	I’ve been crazy busy at work.	我工作忙疯了.
[07:09]	Oh, grumpy. You’re so grumpy.	哦,牢骚包. 你真是爱发牢骚.
[07:13]	Grumpzilla.	牢骚鬼.
[07:15]	Sourasaurus. Look at you.	抱怨虫. 看看你.
[07:17]	I’m so sorry, sweetheart.	对不起, 甜心.
[07:19]	Oh, you got bugs in your hair. Dirty bugs in your hair.	哦, 你头发里有虫. 头发里有臭虫.
[07:22]	No, I don’t.	不, 没有.
[07:23]	When’s the last time you took a shower?	你上一次冲凉是什么时候?
[07:25]	I just had one.	我刚洗过.
[07:26]	I don’t know about that.	我可不知道.
[07:28]	Hey.	嘿.
[07:31]	You know you’re the most important thing to me, right?	你知道你对我来说是最重要的,对吗?
[07:36]	I really am sorry.	我真的对不起.
[07:39]	Okay.	好
[07:41]	Happy anniversary.	相识周年快乐.
[07:44]	Happy anniversary.	相识周年快乐.
[07:46]	Um, loser, the least you can do is help me with the dishes.	哼, 没用鬼. 好歹帮我洗洗餐具呀.
[07:52]	You realize I’m gonna punch you in the balls	你明白我会打你蛋蛋
[07:54]	if you knock one more thing over.	如果你再打翻一件东西的话.
[08:01]	Oh, you really think you can do this?	哦,你真认为你能这么做吗?
[08:03]	Oh, you took too long there.	哦, 你时间用得太久了.
[08:07]	No. What, you think you’re gonna hurt me with that?	不.什么, 你想用那个来打我?
[08:10]	Come on. Oh, you are in huge trouble.	来吧.哦, 你有大麻烦.
[08:12]	– You are in huge trouble. – No! Oh, put me down!	– 你有大麻烦. – 不! 哦, 把我放下!
[08:18]	I love you.	我爱你.
[08:19]	Oh, thanks.	哦, 谢谢.
[08:50]	Nancy and I have incredible sex.	我和南希做了个美妙无比的爱.
[08:53]	It’s, like, unbelievable.	真是难以置信.
[08:56]	David is the worst, worst lover ever.	戴维是最差劲的情人.
[08:58]	The first time we did it… sex.	第一次我们做…爱.
[09:01]	went to a restaurant and then went to a really great movie.	去了餐厅然后去看了场非常好看的电影.
[09:05]	And then, God, she looked so good	然后,上帝, 她看上去真漂亮
[09:07]	I couldn’t even concentrate, you know?	以至于我无法集中精神, 你知道吗?
[09:10]	So, I took her back to her apartment…	所以,我把她带回她公寓…
[09:14]	with my boner.	小弟弟高举旗帜.
[09:15]	Yeah, you know, I can really walk myself to my door.	是的,你知道, 我真的能自己找到门.
[09:17]	Yeah, you know what?	是的,你知道吗?
[09:19]	Oh.	哦.
[09:20]	Oh.	哦.
[09:22]	Oh.	哦.
[09:23]	Yeah, um…	耶, 嗯…
[09:24]	I’m gonna fuck you until you shit.	我要把你干出屎来.
[09:29]	– Yeah. – That is so hot.	– 耶. – 太热辣了.
[09:31]	And, yeah, on the table, on my bench, in the kitchen.	接着, 耶, 桌子上, 长椅上, 厨房里.
[09:36]	It’s like that all the time. You know what I’m sayin’?	经常都像这样. 你知道我意思吗?
[09:40]	And it gets real old, you know?	然后这成了习以为常的事了, 你知道吗?
[09:43]	I mean, a little spontaneity every once in a while,	我意思是, 时不时有一点本能自发的.
[09:45]	it’s a good thing, you know. But, um…	这是好事, 你知道. 但, 嗯…
[09:47]	We don’t… we don’t need foreplay.	我们不需要…不需要前戏.
[09:50]	I need foreplay.	我需要前戏.
[09:54]	You do?	真的?
[09:57]	Yeah.	是.
[09:59]	Why have you never brought this up before?	为什么你之前从未提起?
[10:02]	It just never came up in conversation.	之前从没谈起过这个话题.
[10:05]	So, all that time was…	那么, 那么长时间以来…
[10:08]	It was okay.	还可以.
[10:11]	So, just okay?	只是还可以?
[10:14]	Pretty decent.	还过得去.
[10:16]	That is worse than okay.	这还不如还可以呢.
[10:18]	No. No, no, no, no, no.	不.不,不,不,不,不.
[10:20]	See, decent is definitely a little bit better than okay.	瞧,过得去肯定比还可以要好一点.
[10:23]	And then pretty decent is just a little less decent than that.	那么还过得去只是比过得去稍逊一点.
[10:27]	No, there’s a scale.	不,程度不一样.
[10:28]	It’s like horrible, get out of my room…	这就像,真差劲, 离开我的房间…
[10:32]	– Nah, pretty bad… – No…	– 不, 真糟糕… – 不…
[10:34]	– You’ve embarrassed yourseIf… – No.	– 你自取其辱… – 不.
[10:36]	– Then decent. Then decent. – Pretty decent is pretty…	– 那么就过得去好了. – 还过得去有点…
[10:38]	Pretty.	很好.
[10:40]	I got somethin’ decent for ya, baby, and it’s in my pants.	我这儿有些过得去的东西要给你, 宝贝, 就在我裤裆里.
[10:43]	Hey, homey.	嘿,哥们儿.
[10:44]	– Oh, yeah! – What the f…	– 哦,耶! – 这他妈…
[10:46]	What is that? That’s bullshit.	那他妈是什么狗屎?
[10:49]	Whoo!	喔!
[10:50]	David, honey, dinner’s ready.	戴维,宝贝, 饭好了.
[10:52]	Mom!	妈!
[10:53]	Yeah, baby, get that wiener out! Rarr!	是的,宝贝,把那条香肠掏出来! 嗷!
[10:55]	So last night, I think I heard Lauren sigh.	昨晚,我想我听到劳伦在叹气.
[10:59]	What do you mean?	什么意思?
[11:01]	After sex, she sighed.	做完之后,她叹气了.
[11:04]	You mean like…	你意思就像…
[11:08]	Not quite.	不完全是.
[11:09]	So, it was more like…	那么,这更像是…
[11:14]	Yeah.	是的.
[11:15]	What’s the problem?	问题出在哪儿?
[11:16]	I don’t think it’s really a problem.	我不认为这真是个问题.
[11:18]	I just need to make a few adjustments.	我只是需要做点调适.
[11:20]	My ex, Tricia, it took like two minutes.	我的前任, 崔西卡, 只花了两分钟.
[11:22]	I could give her a piggyback ride to the car and she’d be done.	我可以在车里跟她做后进式然后她心满意足.
[11:26]	Lauren takes a lot longer.	劳伦要花长得多的时间.
[11:28]	How much longer?	多长?
[11:29]	I don’t know.	我不知道.
[11:30]	Well, guesstimate.	呃,估计一下.
[11:32]	No, really, I don’t know.	不, 真的, 我不知道.
[11:35]	Wait. How long have you two been going out?	等等. 你俩一起多久了?
[11:38]	A year.	一年.
[11:39]	A year?!	一年?!
[11:41]	An entire year and nothing? Are you kidding me, Andy?	整一年了你什么都不知道? 你在开玩笑吧,安迪?
[11:44]	A year? I mean, a year’s a really long time to not even…	一年? 我意思,一年真是很长的时间甚至对…
[11:47]	Okay, yeah, I get it. Thank you, Nomi.	好了, 是, 我懂. 谢谢. 诺咪.
[11:49]	I’m just saying, like,	我是说, 就像,
[11:51]	you could really get benched for something like that.	你那样真的会被罚下坐冷板凳.
[11:53]	Hey, Andy, what is up?	嘿, 安迪, 怎样?
[11:56]	Andy can’t satisfy his girlfriend.	安迪满足不了他女友.
[11:57]	Ooh, what’s the problem?	哦, 有什么问题吗?
[11:59]	I wouldn’t call it a problem, per se.	我不会把这称之为问题,实质上.
[12:02]	Oh, honey, you better learn, ’cause nobody gets back into the game	哦,宝贝, 你最好学着点, 因为没人能重新上场
[12:04]	once they’ve been benched.	一旦被罚下坐冷板凳.
[12:06]	Yeah, well, I didn’t even know what the score was until just last night.	是, 嗯, 我昨晚前甚至不知道自己能得多少分.
[12:11]	Nomi, give me some pointers.	诺咪, 给我点主意.
[12:13]	No, that’s weird.	不, 真怪异.
[12:14]	I don’t know what I’m doing here, obviously.	很显然,我不知道我在这儿干嘛.
[12:17]	You must know a thing or two.	你肯定知道一二.
[12:18]	Come on, spill the beans. This is clearly very important.	来吧, 透露一下. 这非常重要.
[12:21]	I’m not a sexpert here, Andy, so…	我不是性学专家, 安迪, 所以…
[12:27]	Do you foreplay?	你做前戏吗?
[12:29]	I play every time.	我每次都做.
[12:30]	How much play?	做多久?
[12:32]	How much?	多少?
[12:33]	Yeah, you know, quantify in minutes.	是, 你知道, 多少分钟.
[12:35]	Three or four.	三或四分钟.
[12:38]	Three or four?	三或四分钟?
[12:39]	Andy Conners, you are definitely not satisfying your girlfriend.	安迪康那斯, 你一定满足不了你的女友.
[12:42]	Okay, Nancy.	好, 南茜.
[12:44]	So, how much is enough?	那么, 多少才够?
[12:46]	You need to go at least 15.	你至少得去到15分钟.
[12:48]	15?! 15?!	十五
[12:49]	Yeah, you know, depending on what type.	是,你知道, 取决于哪种类型.
[12:51]	And what’s the best type?	那么最佳类型是什么?
[12:53]	You need to educate yourself	你得自学
[12:54]	on all the relevant methods and techniques.	所有相关方法和技巧.
[12:57]	How would I go about this?	我该怎么进行?
[13:01]	Don’t look at me.	别看我.
[13:03]	– Hi. – Hey there.	– 嗨. – 嗨.
[13:05]	How’d it go last night?	昨晚表现如何?
[13:07]	Last night was good… when he finally got there.	昨晚不错…他终于到那儿了.
[13:11]	Okay, well, what about after dinner? Did he like the lingerie?	好了, 呃, 晚餐之后怎么样? 他喜欢那内衣吗?
[13:14]	Yeah.	是.
[13:15]	Okay, well, was the sex good?	好, 嗯, 性生活好吗?
[13:17]	Yeah.	是的.
[13:18]	Hey, mysterious, you wanna fill me in here?	嗨, 神秘的, 想告诉我吗?
[13:21]	It was your one-year, right?	这是你们的第一年, 对吗?
[13:22]	Yep.	是.
[13:23]	Okay. Well, is he the one?	好,嗯,他是你真命天子吗?
[13:28]	He could be.	他可以是.
[13:30]	You’re not sure?	你不确定?
[13:31]	How couId anyone ever really be sure?	有谁能真的确定得了?
[13:33]	Okay, well, how does he rank on your list?	好吧, 嗯, 他在你的名单中排第几?
[13:36]	My list?	我的名单?
[13:37]	The “How Do You Know If Your Boyfriend’s The One” list.	“如何知道男友是否是真命天子”名单
[13:40]	Come on. I don’t have a list. That’s silly.	行了.我没有这种名单. 这样傻得很.
[13:45]	What’s on this list?	名单上有什么?
[13:47]	Okay, well, everyone’s list is different, right?	好,呃, 每个人的名单都不同,对吗?
[13:49]	I mean, wouldn’t you say, Carla?	我意思是, 你觉得吗, 卡拉?
[13:50]	Yeah, you start with the basics.	是, 你说到了基本的东西.
[13:52]	So, like, I want someone who hears me,	那么,就像, 我需要一个可以倾听我的人,
[13:54]	not just listens, but actually gets what I’m saying.	不光是倾听,还要真正理解我.
[13:56]	Right. Or like, does he appreciate me?	对了, 或者像, 他欣赏我吗?
[13:59]	Is he romantic?	他浪漫吗?
[14:01]	Does he drain your soul with empty promises	他会不会空口许诺和自私自利
[14:03]	and self-serving priorities?	让你伤心不已?
[14:05]	Okay, that’s a different list.	好,这是不同的名单.
[14:07]	It’s about the small things, okay?	这是关于小事情的,对吗?
[14:08]	Like, does he open doors for you? Does he kiss you goodnight?	比如,他会不会为你开门? 会不会亲吻你道晚安?
[14:10]	Does he not cheat on you with your shift manager	他会不会对你不忠,和你的当班经理眉来眼去仅仅是
[14:12]	who’s only moderately better looking than you?	因为她只比你漂亮那么一点?
[14:16]	– I hate men. – Right.	– 我恨男人. – 对.
[14:17]	Not so helpful, right? Maybe not?	不是那么有帮助,对吗? 或许不是?
[14:20]	Let’s keep it light.	让我们简单点.
[14:21]	The most important thing of all, as you already know,	最重要的是, 如你已经知道的,
[14:24]	does he get you to Orlando?	他是否带你去奥兰多?
[14:26]	Oh, my God! You are so bad! I can’t believe you just said that!	哦, 我的上帝! 你太坏了! 我不敢相信你刚刚这么说.
[14:29]	– I did. I did. – You’re such a dork.	– 我说了. 我说了. – 你真是个呆子.
[14:31]	No, it never happened! I’ve never been there.	不, 从未发生过! 我从未去过那里.
[14:34]	And he is always there.	他总是在那儿.
[14:37]	You know, whatever. I don’t even care.	你知道, 不管怎样, 我根本不在乎.
[14:40]	So, Lauren, is Andy, like, a sex train with precious cargo?	那么, 劳伦, 安迪像是列载着贵重货物的性爱列车吗?
[14:47]	Oh, come on, don’t leave us hangin’.	哦,行了. 别让我们干等着.
[14:49]	I bet he is.	我肯定他是.
[14:51]	Mm-hmm.	嗯- 哼.
[15:19]	So, you ladies ever met a beautiful, black band manager before?	那么, 女士们你们之前有见过养眼的黑人乐队经理吗?
[15:23]	No, you couldn’t’ve, you couldn’t’ve, not especially lookin’ like me.	不, 你没有,你没有,尤其没有看过像我这样的.
[15:26]	You dig? I got the Kanye West look.	你喜欢? 我可以像康耶威斯特.
[15:29]	I’m that drumroll walkin’ through the door kind of cat.	我像猫走过门口般的鼓声一样
[15:31]	You know what I’m sayin’? I can get you concert tickets.	你懂我说的吗? 我能替你搞到音乐会门票.
[15:34]	I can get you backstage passes, especially with them fine asses.	我能替你弄到后台出入证,尤其是和那些大牌一起.
[15:38]	Know what I’m sayin’?	懂我的意思吗?
[15:39]	So, if you really wanted to think about it, I’m a commodity.	所以,如果你真的想一想, 我就是个有用的东西.
[15:43]	I’m somebody you wanna know.	我是你想认识的人.
[15:44]	Come on, it’s like ménage á quatre. I like foursomes.	来吧, 就像四人家庭一样. 我喜欢四人组合.
[15:47]	– What’s up, you don’t like foursomes? – You’re a loser.	– 怎么了, 你不喜欢四人组合? – 你是个没用鬼.
[15:49]	Oh, I get it. I get it, I get it. Your moms are callin’.	哦, 我懂了. 我懂了, 我懂了. 你妈妈叫你回去吃饭.
[15:52]	– Whatever. – Truant officers?	– 随便. – 是班主任?
[15:54]	– I got candy. – Proof he’s a loser.	– 我这儿有糖. – 证明他是个没用鬼.
[15:57]	Yeah, go on, go see the Jonas Brothers.	是, 走吧, 去看乔纳斯兄弟吧.
[15:58]	Okay, Kanye.	好了, 康耶.
[15:59]	Hey, Layne. – What?	嗨, 雷尼. – 什么?
[16:00]	– So, that went well. – Andy, what’s up, man?	– 进行得不错. – 安迪, 你怎么样,老兄?
[16:03]	How’ve you been?	你如何?
[16:04]	What’s it been, like three months? You don’t know a brother no more?	这才过了三个月? 你就不认识兄弟了?
[16:07]	Hey, sorry. You know how it is.	嗨, 不好意思. 你知道啦.
[16:08]	Yeah, I know how it is. I’m just giving you hell.	是, 我知道. 我使你很不爽.
[16:10]	I talked to Nomi the other day. Homey, you messin’ me up, man?	我前几天和诺咪谈过. 老兄, 你弄得我很受伤,老兄?
[16:13]	What’s goin’ on? You messin’ with my money? How’s the album?	怎么样了? 你在糟蹋我的钱? 唱片怎么样了?
[16:15]	– I brought her to you. – And?	– 我把她带给你. – 然后呢?
[16:16]	We’re getting the mixes back any day now.	我们这几天正在做混音.
[16:18]	She’s got this showcase next week. It’s all good.	她下星期要走秀. 一切都没问题.
[16:21]	Cool. Cool.	行.行.
[16:22]	How’s Lauren?	劳伦怎么样?
[16:23]	Not bad.	不错.
[16:25]	All right, what’s wrong?	好了. 到底怎么了?
[16:27]	To tell you the truth, she sighed last night.	老实跟你说, 她昨晚叹气来着.
[16:30]	Sighed? What the hell’s that mean?	叹气? 这他妈什么意思?
[16:32]	Her train didn’t quite make it to Orlando.	她的火车没把她送到奥兰多.
[16:34]	What the hell are you talkin’ about? Was she traveling?	见鬼你在说什么? 她在旅行?
[16:37]	Sex train.	性火车.
[16:39]	Oh, her train never made it to Orlando.	哦,她的火车从未送她到过奥兰多.
[16:43]	You call it Orlando?	你称这叫奥兰多?
[16:46]	So does her train ever make it to Orlando?	那么她的火车从未成功到达过奥兰多吗?
[16:49]	Not really.	没有.
[16:50]	Yeah, and that’s the problem, okay? I’m really worried.	是, 这是个问题,好不好? 我很担心.
[16:53]	I just found out I could get benched for something like this.	我只是发现因为这个我有可能被罚坐冷板凳.
[16:55]	Oh, hell yeah, you can.	哦, 见鬼, 你行.
[16:56]	– Yeah? – Yeah, man.	– 是吗? – 是,老兄.
[16:58]	Oh.	哦.
[16:59]	Oh, man, don’t worry, man. You know I got you.	哦,老兄, 别担心, 老兄. 你明白我懂的.
[17:01]	Who was there for you when you and Tricia broke up?	你和崔西卡分手的时候是谁陪在你身边?
[17:03]	– You. – Yeah. Yeah, exactly.	– 你. – 是.是的, 正是.
[17:05]	And who stayed up with you all night drinking absinthe	还有是谁彻夜陪你喝苦艾酒
[17:07]	and getting all sensitive, talkin’ about our fear of snakes	和你讨论我们害怕蛇的敏感话题
[17:10]	when you lost your first label job?	在你第一次丢掉贴标签的工作时?
[17:12]	Come on, man, we’ll get through this together.	行了, 老兄, 我们会一起扛过去的.
[17:14]	Thanks, man.	谢了,兄弟.
[17:15]	Yeah. What are best friends for?	耶. 好朋友是做什么用的?
[17:23]	One more song! One more song!	再来首! 再来首!
[17:26]	One more song! One more song!	再来首! 再来首!
[17:32]	Hell of a set, Chris.	家伙不错, 克莉丝.
[17:34]	– Oh, what up, Layne? – What’s up, baby?	– 哦, 怎么样,雷尼? – 怎么样, 宝贝?
[17:37]	– Yeah, it was. We killed it, man. – You sure did, man.	– 是, 我们搞定了, 老兄. – 你干得不错, 老兄.
[17:39]	– What up, Andy? How you doin’? – Good, good.	– 怎么样, 安迪? 你好吗? – 好, 好.
[17:41]	What’s not up is Andy can’t get his girl off.	安迪不怎么样的是没法让他女友达到高潮.
[17:42]	Andy, what’s the problem, dude?	安迪, 有什么问题, 伙计?
[17:44]	I really wouldn’t call it a problem, per se.	我真不会称之为问题,本质上.
[17:47]	Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who’s got a problem?	喔,喔,喔,喔, 谁会有问题啊?
[17:49]	Andy. He can’t get Lauren to Orlando, if you know what I mean.	安迪. 他没法送劳伦去奥兰多, 如果你懂我意思的话.
[17:52]	Wait a minute, you call it that, too?	等等, 你们也这么叫?
[17:53]	What the hell is this, a white-boy thing?	这到底是什么, 白人男孩的玩意?
[17:55]	What’s the matter, Andy, you can’t get it up?	怎么了, 安迪, 你勃起不能吗?
[17:57]	No. It’s up all the time. I dry towels on it.	不是. 勃得可以在上面晾毛巾了.
[17:59]	– Oh, so it’s like an endurance thing? – No.	– 哦, 那么这是持久问题了? – 不.
[18:02]	Yeah. Sometimes.	是, 有时.
[18:05]	Why, do you know something about this?	为什么, 你对这了解一些吗?
[18:06]	Me? No, no, man.	我? 不,不, 老兄.
[18:08]	It’s a common problem though, you know?	这是个很普遍的问题, 你知道吗?
[18:10]	I mean, I could go, like, two or three days	我意思是, 我可以坚持两到三天
[18:11]	without food or water. Nothing.	不要食物和水. 什么都不要.
[18:12]	Andy, don’t sweat it, man. I’m a two-pump chump, too.	安迪, 别担心,老兄. 我们设备都一样.
[18:15]	What you gotta do is think about puppies and Walter Matthau.	你要做的是去想小狗和沃尔特马特肖.
[18:18]	You’ll last for a week. You won’t be able to finish.	你会坚持一个星期的. 你会没办法结束.
[18:20]	Wait, wait, you don’t think about sex when you’re having sex?	慢, 慢, 你性生活的时候不去想性?
[18:23]	I have a boner 24 hours a day.	我一天24小时勃起.
[18:25]	What am I supposed to do when I look down	我往下看的时候我该怎么做
[18:27]	and there’s this beautiful, moaning, naked woman below me?	我下面有个漂亮,呻吟着的裸女吗?
[18:31]	Andy, good luck, man. We’re gonna head out.	安迪, 祝好运,老兄. 我们得出发了.
[18:33]	This crowd is probably gonna start a riot soon.	这群人可能一会儿要骚乱了.
[18:42]	I would like to dedicate this to a buddy of mine	我想将这献给我的好哥们儿
[18:45]	who can’t quite seem to take his girlfriend all the way in bed.	他似乎没法在床上让他女友满意.
[18:49]	I think you can do it, Andy.	我认为你行的, 安迪.
[18:51]	Andy!	安迪!
[18:52]	Andy! Andy! Andy! Andy!	安迪!安迪!安迪!安迪!
[18:55]	Dude, you’re famous.	哥们儿, 你出名了.
[19:02]	Dude, you drive like a girl.	哥们儿, 你开得像个女人.
[19:04]	I do not drive like a girl. I drive the speed limit.	我没有开得像女人. 我是按限速行驶.
[19:08]	– I don’t wanna get a ticket. – You don’t wanna get a ticket?	– 我不想收到罚单. – 你不想收到罚单?
[19:11]	Do you have any idea how expensive insurance is?	你知道保险是多么贵吗?
[19:13]	– You have really lost your edge. – What is that supposed to mean?	– 你已经锋芒不在了. – 那是什么意思?
[19:16]	It means you’ve gone soft, sof-t.	意思是你变软了,勒乌昂- 软.
[19:19]	I guess that’s what happens when you get a girlfriend. Shit.	我猜你有了女友后就成这样了. 操.
[19:22]	Is that why you’re still single? You’re afraid to lose your edge?	这就是你为何仍旧单身? 你害怕失去锋芒?
[19:25]	As a matter of fact, that’s exactly why I’m still single.	事实上, 这正是为何我仍旧单身的原因.
[19:28]	I like to keep my edge extra edgy, slice your motherfuckin’ head off.	我最好让我的锋芒变得更锋利, 把你狗日的脑袋切了.
[19:31]	You feel me?	你知道吗?
[19:32]	Shit, man, men are not supposed to be monogamous, man.	靠,老兄, 男人不应该是一夫一妻的.
[19:35]	We’re supposed to be chillin’.	我们应该酷到毙.
[19:37]	We’re supposed to be out in the field, pulling our dicks out,	我们应该冲到外面去作战,拔出我们的小弟弟,
[19:39]	spreading our seed as far, as wide as possible,	将我们的种子播得越远越广越好.
[19:41]	like a fire hydrant.	像消防水龙头一样.
[19:42]	So gross. You’re so gross.	真恶心. 你太恶心了.
[19:44]	Whatever.	随便.
[19:48]	There she is.	她来了.
[19:51]	Nomi, get your ass in the car.	诺咪, 上车.
[19:53]	Nomi.	诺咪.
[19:54]	Nomi?	诺咪?
[19:55]	Nomi, what… what… Who’s that?	诺咪, 什么…什么… 那是谁?
[19:57]	– Put your pedal down for the gas. – Who’s he?	– 加油门. – 他是谁?
[19:59]	– Get me out of here. – Wait, wait. What the fuck?	– 让我离开这里. – 慢,慢. 他妈怎么回事儿?
[20:02]	Who’s that guy? He gonna chase us?	那家伙是谁? 他要追我们吗?
[20:05]	Oh, that was my date, and I hope not.	哦, 他曾是我约会对象, 我希望他不会.
[20:07]	Your date?	你约会对象?
[20:08]	All your dates end this abruptly?	你所有的约会对象都以这样收场吗?
[20:10]	You know what? At least I made it through the salad, okay?	你知道吗? 至少我坚持到了上沙拉, 怎样?
[20:14]	Where are we going?	我们去哪儿?
[20:15]	This crazy Internet promotions party.	这疯狂的互联网促销晚会.
[20:17]	Yeah, Andy needs to find some sexperts.	是的, 安迪需要找些性专家.
[20:19]	Yes, and it would be a pretty good idea	是的, 这是好主意
[20:22]	for you to meet some of these people.	你能去认识些这些人.
[20:42]	Let’s do this.	让我们开始干吧.
[20:43]	I need a drink. You guys handle the sex people.	我要喝一杯. 你们搞定那些性专家.
[20:52]	Nah. Ew.	不. 恶.
[20:56]	Nope. Dork.	不.傻瓜.
[21:01]	Ooh, pornstars.	哇,AV女优.
[21:09]	Uh, lesbians.	啊, 女同志.
[21:13]	Come on.	来吧.
[21:22]	Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.	耶,耶,耶,耶,耶,耶,耶.
[21:26]	So, what is your problem?	那么,你的问题是什么?
[21:28]	I would say it’s more strategy than anything else.	我得说这比其它任何事都更需要策略.
[21:31]	No, he can’t get his girlfriend off. I mean, at all.	不, 他不能让他女友达到性高潮. 我意思是, 根本不能.
[21:33]	However, recent concerns have come to light,	不管怎样, 最近的烦恼已经众所周知,
[21:36]	and I genuinely fear that my days may be numbered.	我是真的害怕我可能已经时日不多了.
[21:41]	My girlfriend is my whole life, though.	我女友是我生活的全部.
[21:45]	And I don’t even think she knows it.	我甚至不认为她知道这.
[21:47]	Aw, that’s so sweet.	呀,真是甜蜜呀.
[21:51]	Why don’t you walk us through your steps.	你何不告诉我们你的步骤.
[21:53]	– Beginning to end. – Okay.	– 从头到尾. – 好.
[21:55]	Well, first we kiss.	呃, 首先我们KISS.
[21:58]	Then I touch her… boobs.	然后我摸她的…咪咪.
[22:03]	Then I kiss her… boobs.	然后我吻她的…咪咪.
[22:09]	For how long?	吻了多久?
[22:10]	I don’t know, like, probably a couple minutes per boob.	我不知道,好像,大概每个咪咪几分钟.
[22:14]	Go on.	继续.
[22:15]	Then we’ll get naked, and we kiss some more.	接着我们脱光了,我们继续吻对方.
[22:19]	And I’ll touch her in her… special place.	然后我摸她的…特别地方.
[22:24]	And then we do it.	接着我们做了.
[22:27]	For how Iong?	做了多久?
[22:28]	At least five or six minutes.	至少五或六分钟.
[22:30]	Five? Please.	五分钟? 拜托.
[22:32]	And at the end, does she ever, you know, like…	最后,她究竟有否,你知道,像…
[22:36]	No.	没有
[22:36]	No?	没有?
[22:37]	And that’s the problem.	那么这就是问题了.
[22:39]	Your first mistake is you don’t spend enough time kissing.	你第一个错误是你没有花足够时间亲吻.
[22:43]	Sensual kissing is very important in making love to a woman.	和女人做爱的时候激情热吻是非常重要的.
[22:48]	Huh.	哈.
[23:02]	Dude, I am getting a serious notorious B-I-G in my pants.	老兄, 我裤档里开始搭帐篷了.
[23:06]	Don’t let her undress herself, you know.	别让她脱衣服, 你知道.
[23:08]	God, women absolutely love to be undressed.	上帝, 女人绝对爱脱衣.
[23:11]	– So, do it slow. – Oh.	– 那么, 慢慢脱. – 哦.
[23:14]	Do everything slow.	全都要慢.
[23:20]	That just comes undone just like that?	像那样松开吗?
[23:22]	That’s… that’s great.	这..这太棒了.
[23:24]	Vocalize.	用声音表达.
[23:25]	Men get turned on by visuals.	男人靠视觉激起性欲.
[23:28]	Women, we get turned on by audio.	女人, 我们靠的是声音.
[23:31]	You’re so beautiful.	你真漂亮.
[23:35]	You’re turning me on, you bitch.	你让我欲火中烧了, 贱人.
[23:38]	Yeah, yeah, I like it when you call me a bitch.	耶,耶, 我喜欢你这样叫我贱人.
[23:40]	Yeah, you just wanna touch me like that, don’t you?	耶, 你就想像这样摸我,是不是?
[23:42]	You just wanna touch me. You just wanna touch me, smack…	你就是想摸我. 你就是想摸我, 打…
[23:44]	– Slap my dick, slap it! – What?	– 扇我的小弟弟, 扇它! – 什么?
[23:46]	Slap it, you…	扇它, 你…
[23:47]	I mean…	我意思…
[23:48]	What can I get ya?	你想要什么?
[23:49]	Can I have a vodka tonic and a shot of tequila?	我要杯伏特加劲酒和一小杯龙舌兰.
[23:52]	Okay.	好.
[23:54]	– Here you go, beautiful. – Thank you.	– 来了, 美女. – 谢谢.
[23:56]	Wow, you are sexy. You know that?	哇,你很性感. 你知道吗?
[24:01]	Thanks.	谢谢.
[24:03]	Some awesome bands playing tonight, huh?	今晚有很棒的乐队来演出,是吗?
[24:05]	Yeah.	是.
[24:06]	Wow.	哇.
[24:11]	What…	什么…
[24:19]	Thank you, garçon.	谢谢你,服务员.
[24:21]	Ladies.	女士们.
[24:22]	– So, what’s the best position? – No, no, no.	– 那么,什么是最佳的姿势呢? – 不,不,不.
[24:25]	What’s the best sequence of positions, you know?	什么是最佳姿势的顺序,你们知道吗?
[24:28]	The key to making love to a woman is not the positions,	与女士做爱最关键的不是姿势.
[24:31]	it’s the clitoris, it’s the hot button to a woman,	是阴蒂, 这是女人的热键,
[24:35]	it’s the jewel.	是宝石.
[24:36]	The diamond, rarr!	是钻石, 哈!
[24:38]	You guys know where to find the diamond, right?	你们知道到哪儿去找那颗钻石,对吗?
[24:40]	Yeah.	是.
[24:42]	Of course we do.	我们当然知道.
[24:43]	What do we look like, cavemen?	我们看上去像什么, 山顶洞人?
[24:47]	You smell like sex.	你闻上去就很性.
[24:49]	Are you sure you know how to kiss?	你确信知道怎么接吻吗?
[24:51]	Are you out of your fuckin’ mind?	你他妈脑子进水了吗?
[24:52]	That’s the one thing I do know how to do well.	这是我非常清楚能做好的一件事.
[24:55]	– Then prove it. – What?	– 那证明一下. – 什么?
[24:57]	Yeah, Layne. Prove it.	是, 雷尼. 证明一下.
[24:59]	You are my brother for life. I’m doin’ this for you.	你是我一生的兄弟. 我是为这么做的.
[25:04]	– Make me proud. – Yes sir.	– 让我为你骄傲. – 是的长官.
[25:05]	Well, well, well, well, well. Well, well, well.	好,好,好,好,好.
[25:08]	Eeny, meeny, miney, moe, let me start the fires.	点兵点将, 让我把火点燃.
[25:15]	God damn it.	该死的.
[25:18]	Whoo-hoo!	哇- 呼!
[25:24]	Oh, yeah.	哦,耶.
[25:25]	Is her arm broken?	她的手断了吗?
[25:40]	Oh. Oh, you are so sexy.	哦.哦, 你真性感.
[25:43]	Soft kissing.	轻柔地吻.
[25:44]	I love you.	我爱你.
[25:47]	Oh, God, you’re making me so hot.	哦,上帝, 你弄得我欲火焚身.
[25:50]	Sensual touch.	爱抚.
[25:53]	Oh. Oh, you’re so beautiful.	哦.哦, 你真美.
[25:56]	– You’re turning me on, bitch. – What?	– 你让我欲火中烧了,贱人. – 什么?
[25:59]	No, nothing. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.	不, 没什么. 对不起. 对不起.
[26:03]	Ow, you’re on my hair.	哦, 你弄到我头发上.
[26:07]	What? Are you singing?	什么? 你在唱歌?
[26:08]	Oh, my God! Oh, my God!	哦,我的上帝!哦,我的上帝!
[26:21]	Okay. OK.
[26:23]	Very nice. Very nice.	非常好. 非常好.
[26:25]	Both parties satisfied.	双方都满意了.
[26:27]	Wow. Wow.	哇.哇.
[26:33]	That was great.	真太好了
[26:36]	Right, didn’t you think?	对吗, 你不这么想吗?
[26:38]	Yeah.	是的.
[26:55]	Rose has a great body.	罗斯身材非常棒.
[26:58]	You know, she’s got the ass, the legs, the boobs.	你知道, 她有屁股,有腿还有有胸.
[27:00]	Oh, I love those breasts.	哦,我爱这咪咪.
[27:04]	Ow.	哇.
[27:05]	You know, they’re like unicorns.	你知道, 她们喜欢独角兽（神话中像马、前额有挺直角的动物）.
[27:08]	You know, just unreal.	你知道, 虚幻的.
[27:13]	But so real.	但非常真实
[27:15]	A woman’s body has a lot of erogenous zones.	女人的身体有许多性敏感区.
[27:19]	What do you mean?	你什么意思?
[27:20]	It means that I’m sensitive in more places on my body	意思是我身体有更多部位要比
[27:22]	than just my breasts.	我胸部更敏感.
[27:23]	Oh. Well, I knew that. Come on, baby.	哦, 好, 我知道. 来吧,宝贝.
[27:26]	My neck, the small of my back,	我的颈, 我背部一小部分,
[27:29]	and on the sides of my hips right there by the V.	还有我臀部呈V状的两边.
[27:31]	That’s my favorite.	那是我的最爱.
[27:32]	My knees, my wrists.	我的膝部, 腕部.
[27:35]	And that little place between my thighs.	还有大腿之间那一小块部位.
[27:37]	And how often do you orgasm?	你经常有性高潮吗?
[27:39]	– Um, sometimes. – Always.	– 嗯, 有时候. – 总是这样.
[27:43]	Sometimes?	有时候?
[27:44]	All the time.	常常.
[27:45]	Thank you. That’s more like it.	谢谢. 大概是这样.
[27:49]	I masturbate when I’m alone.	我独处的时候会自慰.
[27:51]	What?	什么?
[27:52]	God, can you feel my muscles getting bigger?	上帝, 你能感觉到我的肌肉在变大吗?
[27:54]	I can see your muscles. I can see your muscles growing.	我能看到你的肌肉. 我能看到你的肌肉在膨胀.
[27:57]	You seem angry. Are you okay? You happy?	你看上去不高兴. 你没事吧? 你高兴吗?
[27:59]	Yes, of course I’m happy.	是的, 我当然高兴.
[28:01]	It’s just, you know, sometimes Andy can be a little…	只是,你知道, 有时安迪有点…
[28:05]	– Emotionally unsatisfying? – Yes.	– 情绪上不满意? – 是的.
[28:07]	I mean, no. Am I a terrible person?	我意思, 不. 我是个很可怕的人吗?
[28:10]	No, you’re not a terrible person. Lauren, it’s how you feel.	不, 你不是个可怕之人. 劳伦, 这是你的感觉.
[28:12]	I mean, the important thing’s you love this guy, right?	我意思, 重要的是你爱这男的, 对吗?
[28:15]	Right.	对.
[28:16]	Double punch!	双击!
[28:17]	Jesus Christ.	上帝.
[28:19]	And that little dick loves you, right?	那条小鸡鸡也爱你,对吗?
[28:22]	Right. I think.	对, 我想.
[28:23]	Well, has he told you he loves you?	嗯, 他有告诉你他爱你吗?
[28:29]	All right.	好吧.
[28:32]	I will punch him in the face if you have one single doubt.	如果你有半点疑虑我会打在他脸上.
[28:36]	I don’t have doubts. Why would you say that?	我没有疑虑. 你为什么这么说?
[28:38]	All right. A minute? All right, here we go.	好. 一分钟? 好, 开始.
[28:41]	– She’s not sure, man. She’s not sure. – Just focus on that.	– 她不确定,老兄. 她不确定. – 集中注意力.
[28:43]	Pretend that’s your dad.	假装那是你老爸.
[28:44]	Listen, okay, first of all, you don’t even think this guy’s the one.	听着, OK, 首先, 你甚至不用想这男的是你意中人.
[28:48]	You said it.	你说对了.
[28:49]	And second of all, you’re not even sure if he loves you.	其次, 你甚至不确定他是否爱你.
[28:51]	Let me give him a fist rocket to the face, please.	让我给他脸上来一招火箭拳, 请.
[28:54]	Okay, well, let’s just say, for argument’s sake,	好,呃,比方说,为讨论起见,
[28:57]	that maybe I have one or two doubts.	我也许有一两点疑虑.
[29:01]	Or two, okay.	两点,好.
[29:02]	– What would I do to get rid of them? – Fist rocket!	– 我要怎么做才能摆脱他们? – 火箭拳!
[29:05]	Fuck!	操!
[29:07]	I swore.	我发誓.
[29:08]	First, you gotta go out with someone as a test.	首先, 你得和别人出去约会来作测验.
[29:11]	Yeah, yeah, yeah, someone with a bunch of money.	是,是,是, 得和有钱人.
[29:13]	Double punch!	双击!
[29:15]	Someone you could theoretically see yourself dating or marrying.	这人你从理论上讲能看出愿意与其约会或结婚.
[29:18]	That is terrible!	太可怕了!
[29:20]	It’s not even terrible. I’m not asking you to bone this guy.	这不是可怕不可怕. 我并不是让你跟这男的打炮.
[29:22]	Bone the guy. Who are you kidding?	和这男的打炮. 你开什么玩笑?
[29:24]	Oh, my God!	哦, 我的上帝!
[29:25]	Listen. Go out with the guy, right. Have a drink.	听着. 和这男的外出, 对. 喝上一杯.
[29:27]	Guys, no, I can’t. That’s too drastic.	姐们儿, 不, 我做不到. 这太猛了点.
[29:29]	– Is it? – Yes.	– 是吗? – 是.
[29:31]	All right, let’s see it.	好, 让我们看看.
[29:32]	– All right, ready? – Uh-huh.	– 好了, 好了吗? – 嗯- 哼.
[29:34]	Heat.	发热.
[29:35]	– That one hurt a little. – Yeah, it looked like it hurt.	– 那个弄得有点痛. – 是, 它看上去会弄痛人.
[29:45]	Hey, Doug, I think my left nut just got hard.	嗨,道格, 我左边的蛋刚硬起来了.
[29:47]	Look at the…	看这…
[29:48]	Ooh, look at the knockers on this bitch.	哦, 瞧这贱人这对波.
[30:05]	What up, man? What’s wrong?	好吗, 老兄? 怎么了?
[30:06]	She magged me.	她杂志我了.
[30:07]	She what?	她什么?
[30:09]	Right after sex, she read a magazine.	做完后, 她拿起一份杂志来看.
[30:11]	Oh, man, fuck my ass. Are you serious?	哦, 老兄, 我操. 是真的吗?
[30:14]	It’s worse than I thought.	比我想的还糟.
[30:15]	Okay, wait a minute, was this the first time?	好, 等等, 这种情况是第一次吗?
[30:16]	I think so. I don’t know. I usually fall asleep so fast.	我想是. 我不知道. 我通常很快就睡着了.
[30:19]	What do you mean, you fall asleep so fast?	你什么意思, 你很快睡着了?
[30:20]	I just, I do it, and then I’m out.	我只是,做了,然后完事.
[30:22]	Well, I understand that. But that’s not the point, man.	呃, 我明白. 但这不是重点,老兄.
[30:24]	We still have hope, here.	我们还有希望.
[30:26]	Did you learn anything from the lesbians and pornstars?	你有没从女同志和AV女优那里学到点什么?
[30:28]	– Just run it back with me. – Yeah, I thought so.	– 跟我重述一下经过. – 是, 我想是.
[30:30]	I did the sensual kissing. The full-body caressing.	我做了激吻,全身爱抚.
[30:32]	The vocalizing.	语言挑逗.
[30:33]	Afterplay?	后戏?
[30:35]	Yeah, there was no point. Look…	是, 没用的. 瞧…
[30:36]	What do you mean, there was no point?	你什么意思,没用的?
[30:38]	She was reading a magazine. Look, I don’t wanna talk about this.	她翻杂志看. 瞧, 我不想谈这个.
[30:40]	Listen, let’s bring it together, let’s bring it together.	听着, 我们把这总结一下,总结一下.
[30:43]	Did you at least stimulate her flower, her special place?	你起码有刺激她的花蕊,她那特殊部位吧?
[30:47]	Stop that.	打住.
[30:48]	Look, yeah, I did.	瞧, 是, 我照做了.
[30:50]	I moved my hand down there sort of like on a scouting mission.	我像搞侦察一样用手摸索向那里.
[30:53]	She moved it away.	她移开了我的手.
[30:54]	– She… she sent back your scout? – She sent back my scout!	– 她…她把你的侦察送回去了? – 她把我侦察送回来了!
[30:57]	What the fuck?!	真他妈的?!
[30:58]	Hey, what’s up, Andy?	嗨, 怎样, 安迪?
[30:59]	I can’t help but overhear your situation in here.	我凑巧听到了你的情况.
[31:03]	Yeah. Hey, Ryan, what’s up, man? I’m sorry about all the commotion.	是. 嗨, 赖安, 怎么样, 老兄? 抱歉打扰到你了.
[31:06]	No problem, dude. I’m just trying to record a song here, but…	没关系, 兄弟. 我正在录歌,但…
[31:09]	Are you?	你是?
[31:10]	Look, man, do you know what you’re looking for?	瞧,老兄, 你知道你在找什么吗?
[31:12]	What do you mean?	什么意思?
[31:14]	I mean, do you know how to find a diamond?	我意思,你知道怎么找到那颗钻石吗?
[31:17]	Yeah, I know how to find a diamond, man.	是, 我知道怎么找钻石,老兄.
[31:20]	No, dude. Look, just admit it.	不, 兄弟. 瞧, 承认吧.
[31:21]	Your scout’s getting turned away at the gate.	你的侦察吃了个闭门羹.
[31:24]	Maybe I’m just a little off target.	也许我只是有点偏离目标了.
[31:26]	Dude, you’re making this so much harder than it needs to be.	兄弟, 你搞得比原本还要复杂得多.
[31:28]	You’re not taking your fucking SATs here.	你不是在这儿做他妈的学习能力测验.
[31:30]	I know. It’s a lot harder.	我知道. 这个要难得多.
[31:31]	On the SATs, you just fill in a circle with a pencil.	学习能力测试我只需要用铅笔在上面涂圈就行了.
[31:33]	I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing here!	我甚至不知道这儿我该怎么做!
[31:35]	Okay, okay, okay, okay.	好,好,好,好.
[31:36]	Hey, listen, listen, Dr. Ryan, thank you very much. I got this now.	嗨, 听着, 听着, 赖安博士, 非常感谢. 现在我已经懂了.
[31:38]	Thank you. Record your song. Thank you.	谢谢. 录歌吧. 谢谢.
[31:41]	Listen, man, don’t worry about that, man.	听着, 老兄, 别担心这个, 兄弟.
[31:43]	Look, I’m gonna call my mom’s OB guy right now,	瞧, 我现在要打电话给我妈的妇产科医生.
[31:45]	because we are gonna find ourselves a five-carat Cartier solitaire.	因为我们会找到一颗五克拉的卡迪尔钻石的.
[31:50]	Where’s my high-five?	谁跟我击掌庆祝?
[31:53]	– Dr. Katz? – Can I help you?	– 凯子博士? – 需要帮忙吗?
[31:57]	Yes. Layne Wilson.	是的. 雷尼威尔逊.
[32:01]	Judith Wilson’s son? I…	朱迪思威尔逊的儿子? 我…
[32:02]	Oh, yes.	哦, 是的.
[32:05]	The last time I saw you, you were only…	上一次我见你, 你才只有…
[32:10]	Yeah, I was a cute little kid, man.	是的, 我还是个可爱的小孩子, 老兄.
[32:11]	You know, when we first delivered you,	你知道, 我们接生你的时候,
[32:15]	we weren’t sure if you were a boy or a girl.	我们不能确定你是男孩还是女孩.
[32:19]	Hey, girly man.	嗨, 娘娘腔.
[32:20]	All right. Now, how can I help you two gentlemen?	好了. 现在, 你们两位绅士需要我做什么?
[32:23]	Since you’ve probably seen quite a few… girl parts,	由于你可能已经见过不少…女生的部件.
[32:28]	is where I might find the…	我到哪儿去找那个…
[32:32]	The hooded lady.	戴着头巾的女士.
[32:33]	The clit?	阴蒂?
[32:36]	Yes.	正是.
[32:37]	Then you’ve come to the right place.	那你来对地方了.
[32:40]	Oh, shit.	哦,靠.
[32:42]	These are the labium majus.	这是大阴唇.
[32:44]	These are the labium minus.	这是大阴唇.
[32:47]	And this here is the clitoris.	这里是阴蒂.
[32:51]	All this time.	向来如此.
[32:53]	Never seen one before?	之前没见过?
[32:54]	I mean, I’ve seen that one, so…	我意思, 我见过那个,所以…
[32:57]	Yeah, but he’s not talking about the chart, Andy.	对, 但他说的不是这图表, 安迪.
[32:59]	Now why is it there? Why not lower?	为什么它在那儿? 为什么不是低一点?
[33:02]	There are literally thousands of nerves	这儿有成千的神经
[33:05]	all ending right here.	汇聚于此.
[33:08]	Yeah. The weak spot on the Death Star.	对. 标靶上的弱点所在.
[33:11]	Hey, Doc, I also wanted to ask you about longevity.	嗨, 博士, 我也想问你关于长寿的问题.
[33:16]	Um, I’m not exactly an expert on that subject.	嗯, 我在那方面算不上是个专家.
[33:21]	God knows I used to have an…	上帝知道我之前有过一个…
[33:24]	A problem?	一个问题?
[33:26]	Not a problem, per se.	不是问题, 本质上.
[33:29]	– Now you don’t. – No more problem.	– 现在你没了. – 再没问题了.
[33:31]	Well, what did you do?	呃, 你做了什么?
[33:32]	We don’t have sex anymore.	我们不再过性生活了.
[33:35]	I have a body pillow that I pretend is her sister.	我有个人形枕头,我把它当作是她妹妹.
[33:41]	– Uh, you wanna go? – I’m good to go.	– 呃, 你要走? – 我可以走了.
[33:43]	I’m good. Thank you.	我很好. 谢谢.
[33:45]	Je t’aime, Lauren. Marry me.	Je t’aime, 劳伦. 嫁给我.
[33:48]	No, I will not marry you.	不, 我不会嫁给你.
[33:50]	You didn’t even remember our anniversary.	你连我们相识周年都记不得.
[33:54]	Hi, Curtis.	嗨,柯蒂斯.
[33:56]	– Busy? – No, of course not.	– 很忙? – 不, 当然不.
[33:59]	Um, so the Clark Building is coming along really great.	嗯, 那么克拉克大厦进展很顺利了.
[34:03]	Everything you do is great.	你做的一切都好极了.
[34:06]	Oh, thanks.	哦, 谢谢.
[34:07]	Which is why I’m promoting you	所以我要提升你
[34:10]	to the director of the Chicago office. Boom.	做芝加哥办事处的主任. 卟.
[34:14]	Oh, my God.	哦, 我的上帝.
[34:16]	I don’t even know what to say.	我不知道说什么好.
[34:18]	Yes. Yes.	是的, 是的.
[34:20]	Big raise, company car,	工资大涨, 公司配车.
[34:23]	and you’ll be on the fast track to partner. What do you say?	还有你会很快就成为合伙人的. 你觉得怎样?
[34:26]	Can I have a few days to think about it?	能给我几天好好想想吗?
[34:31]	Ooh, Lauren, w…	嚯, 劳伦, …
[34:33]	I’m just kidding. You have two days.	我开玩笑. 你有两天时间.
[34:35]	But off the record, for a woman your age,	私底下说, 对你这个年纪的女人来说,
[34:38]	this is the chance of a lifetime.	这是一生难得的机遇.
[34:40]	Thank you	谢谢
[34:41]	And you didn’t have to sleep with anyone.	并且你也不用被潜规则.
[34:44]	Hey, Daniel.	嘿, 丹尼尔
[34:46]	– He’s the coolest. – Curtis.	– 他是最酷的. – 柯蒂斯.
[34:47]	What’s up, D-dog?	怎么样, 道格?
[34:50]	Oh, man. Love this guy.	哦,老兄. 爱死这家伙了.
[34:51]	Lauren, meet Daniel. He’s here for the week.	劳伦, 见过丹尼尔. 他要在这儿呆一周.
[34:55]	– Lauren? – Oh, my God.	– 劳伦? – 哦, 我的上帝.
[34:58]	Danny Meltzer, are you kidding me?	丹尼麦尔泽, 不是在开玩笑吧?
[35:00]	You know each other?	你俩认识?
[35:01]	Our parents are friends in Irvine. We practically grew up together.	我们父母在欧文的时候是朋友. 我们可以称得上青梅竹马.
[35:04]	How are you? Oh, my goodness.	你好吗? 哦, 我的天呐.
[35:08]	Hi.	嗨.
[35:09]	I always wonder what happened to you.	我一直想知道你发生什么事了.
[35:11]	You look… thinner.	你看上去…比以前瘦了.
[35:13]	– You look amazing. – Thank you.	– 你看上去好极了. – 谢谢.
[35:14]	Oh, my God, I haven’t seen you since you left for college.	哦, 我的上帝, 自从你离开学校我就再没见过你了.
[35:17]	I was in the 8th grade, and my heart was broken.	我在八年级, 我心碎了当时.
[35:20]	Aw.	哦.
[35:22]	We should catch up. Let’s go get a drink.	我们应该叙叙旧. 一起喝一杯吧.
[35:23]	I would love to.	我很愿意.
[35:25]	Dinner is on me.	晚餐我来请.
[35:26]	Okay. Focus, please? All right.	好. 注意, 拜托? 好了.
[35:29]	You two might see more of each other, all right?	你俩可能会经常碰面的, 好吗?
[35:32]	Daniel is based in Chicago.	丹尼尔常驻芝加哥.
[35:34]	And I don’t see a ring on that finger, player.	我没看到那个手指上有戒指,公子哥.
[35:36]	Hook it up.	把握好.
[35:38]	– Curtis. Curtis. – He’s the coolest!	– 柯蒂斯. 柯蒂斯. – 他是最酷的!
[35:40]	– He’s the coolest, man! – Curtis.	– 他是最酷的, 老兄! – 柯蒂斯.
[35:42]	Love those pecks!	爱死他的腹肌了!
[35:44]	What’s wrong with me, Layne?	我到底怎么了, 赖安?
[35:46]	Oh, wow, that’s gonna take a long time.	哦, 哇, 这得花很长时间.
[35:47]	Do you want a list?	你想要份名单吗?
[35:49]	I’m just saying, I’ve got a runner on third, and I can’t get him home.	我只是说, 有个第三者在我后面跟着,但我没法把他打发回家.
[35:53]	‘Cause it’s hard, Andy.	因为这很难, 安迪.
[35:54]	I mean, if it was easy, we’d all be in the pros	我意思, 如是这很容易的话,我们都会是专家了.
[35:56]	knocking home runs like we Barry Bonds.	就像我们巴里邦兹一样完成本垒打.
[35:59]	I can’t lose her.	我不能失去她.
[36:01]	I mean, Lauren is the best thing that has ever happened to me.	我意思是, 劳伦是发生在我身上最好的事.
[36:08]	Oh, so you really do love her?	哦, 所以你真的爱她?
[36:09]	Yeah.	是.
[36:11]	Absolutely. You couldn’t tell?	绝对地. 你看不出来吗?
[36:14]	No. I mean, I’ve never heard you say it.	不. 我意思, 我从没听你说过.
[36:16]	I guess I’m just not that kind of guy, you know?	我想我不是那种男人, 你知道吗?
[36:19]	I’ve never heard my dad say it to my mom,	我从没听到我爸跟我妈这样说过.
[36:21]	but they’ve been married for like 30 years.	但他们结婚有30年了.
[36:23]	Wow.	哇.
[36:24]	You know, recently I’ve been thinking about…	你知道, 最近我在想…
[36:26]	– What, the pornstars? – No.	– 什么, AV女优? – 不.
[36:28]	– The lesbians? – No.	– 女同志? – 不.
[36:32]	What?	什么?
[36:35]	I’m thinking about asking Lauren to marry me.	我在考虑向劳伦求婚.
[36:37]	– Are you serious? – Yeah, I’m serious.	– 你当真? – 是, 我是认真的.
[36:40]	Man, Lauren is the one.	老兄, 劳伦就是我要的那个人.
[36:41]	The one?	那个人?
[36:43]	How the hell do you know she’s the one?	你究竟怎么知道她就是那个人?
[36:45]	Remember when we were at Ford’s barbecue,	记得我们在福特的烧烤店的时候,
[36:48]	when I ate like three brownies	我吃了大概三块核仁饼.
[36:49]	and nobody told me they were pot brownies?	但没人告诉我这是饼里有大麻.
[36:51]	And you spaced out.	那你High翻天了吧.
[36:52]	Remember I got all scared,	我记得我怕得要死当时,
[36:53]	I thought the hedges were gonna come kill me?	我以为灌木树篱要过来杀我?
[36:54]	I hid in the closet.	我躲进了壁橱里.
[36:55]	Lauren comes into that closet with a golf club,	劳伦拿着高球棍也进了壁橱.
[36:57]	declares herself protector of the closet.	宣称她是壁橱的保护神.
[37:01]	She sat in there with me for like two hours.	她和我坐在里面大概两个钟头.
[37:03]	She took care of me.	她照顾着我.
[37:05]	And now my only goal in this world is to take care of her.	现在我在这世界上唯一的目标就是去照顾她.
[37:10]	Wow.	哇.
[37:12]	That’s…	这真是…
[37:15]	…fuckin’ pathetic.	他妈的可怜.
[37:17]	You don’t like this idea?	你不喜欢这主意?
[37:19]	You’re not into this? I thought you liked Lauren.	你不喜欢这个? 我以为你喜欢劳伦.
[37:21]	I do like Lauren. Look.	我的确喜欢劳伦. 瞧.
[37:25]	My problem is, I don’t think guys should be settling down.	我的问题是, 我不认为男人应该安定下来.
[37:28]	It’s unnatural. I mean lions, tigers, monkeys…	这是反常的. 我意思狮子,老虎,猴子…
[37:30]	Did you ever notice in the Animal Kingdom	在动物王国节目里你是否有曾注意到
[37:32]	that none of them are monogamous?	它们全都不是一夫一妻的?
[37:34]	They’re all boning and fucking each other off.	它们总是逮谁干谁.
[37:36]	But humans, we wanna put ourselves in this little box,	但人类呢, 我们把自己限制在这个小盒子里,
[37:40]	this little, tiny box,	这个小小的盒子.
[37:43]	’cause marriage, that’s all there is, man.	因为婚姻, 都是它, 老兄.
[37:44]	It’s a fuckin’ prison. I’m black. I don’t like prison.	这是他妈的监狱. 我是黑人. 我不喜欢监狱.
[37:47]	Well, what do you believe in, Layne?	呃, 你信仰什么, 雷尼?
[37:49]	Friendship.	友谊.
[37:51]	Come on, Andy, you can’t tell me you haven’t had fun	好了, 安迪, 你别告诉我你没有尽兴
[37:53]	the past few days.	过去几天里.
[37:54]	It’s been like old times, man.	就像过去的好时光一样, 兄弟.
[37:56]	Love just doesn’t last.	爱情是不会长久的.
[37:58]	I mean, take it from my dad.	我意思, 爱从我爸那被拿走了.
[38:00]	I mean, it broke him in two	我意思, 爱把他的心碎成了两半
[38:02]	when my mom left him for that… paperboy.	当我妈为了那个…报童离他而去时.
[38:07]	It is surprisingly difficult to hit a porch from a moving bicycle.	从移动的单车上打中阳台真是难得出奇.
[38:11]	That hurts, man.	很痛心, 老兄.
[38:12]	That guy had skills, is all I’m saying.	那家伙真有本事, 我得这么说的.
[38:13]	Man, fuck you, man. That shit still hurts.	老兄, 操你, 那让我痛苦到现在.
[38:15]	Is he younger than you?	他比你小吗?
[38:16]	– Oh, my God, man. Shut up! – I’m just sayin’.	– 哦, 我的上帝, 老兄. 闭嘴! – 我只是说.
[38:18]	Man, shut up. Don’t even talk to me.	闭嘴. 别跟我说话.
[38:20]	– Timmy, right? – Fuck you!	– 提米, 对吗? – 操你!
[38:21]	– It’s Timmy. – Hey! Who wants to be my friend?!	– 是提米. – 嗨! 是谁要跟我交朋友?!
[38:24]	– Come on. – Hey, what are we doing here?	– 行了. – 嗨, 我们在这儿干嘛?
[38:27]	‘Cause I heard once that Sting was able to keep an erection	因为我有次听说史汀保持坚挺了
[38:29]	for more than five days	超过五天时间.
[38:31]	because he’s got some Buddhist mind control.	因为他通过什么佛教意念来控制.
[38:33]	I don’t want a five-day erection. That’d hurt.	我才不要坚挺五天. 肯定很痛.
[38:35]	I sleep on my belly. I can’t sleep on my back.	我得俯睡. 我无法仰睡.
[38:37]	Oh, would you stop bitchin’?	哦, 你能不要在这叽歪吗?
[38:55]	Excuse me, Sifu,	打扰一下, 师傅,
[38:59]	is it true that you can make love for a really long time?	你做爱能做超长时间是真的吗?
[39:04]	I seem to be getting there early.	我似乎有点提前到那里了.
[39:08]	You arrive at the party first?	你先到了派对?
[39:11]	You could say that I eat all the hors d’oeuvres	你可以说我吃了所有的开胃菜
[39:14]	and pass out with my shoes on	然后喝晕过去了
[39:15]	while they’re still blowing up balloons and hanging streamers.	他们却仍在吹气球和挂彩带
[39:18]	Buddhism is not taught for that specific purpose.	佛教不会为那种特定目的去布道的
[39:25]	But I believe I can help.	但我相信我可以帮上忙.
[39:28]	Thank you, Sifu.	谢谢,师傅.
[39:29]	Sex is the ultimate expression of life force.	性是生命力的最终表现.
[39:35]	It combines mind, body, and emotion.	它综合了头脑,身体和感情.
[39:41]	But the mind is the key.	但头脑是关键.
[39:44]	It controls desire, emotions,	它控制着欲望和感情,
[39:48]	your erection, your penis.	你的勃起和阴茎.
[39:51]	Now, close your eyes.	现在, 闭上你的眼睛.
[39:58]	Empty your mind of all thoughts.	大脑放空.
[40:05]	If a thought comes into your mind, gently usher it out.	如有杂念产生, 轻轻地将其引出.
[40:12]	What if the thought, you know, has, like, really nice-ass titties and…	要是这杂念,你知道, 有, 像, 丰乳肥臀和…又该怎样?
[40:17]	Out, damned spot!	出去, 该死的污点!
[40:22]	Out!	出去!
[40:29]	Open your eyes.	打开你的眼睛.
[40:32]	This is called meditation.	这称之冥想.
[40:35]	Practice it often.	经常这样练习.
[40:38]	It will make your mind grow in control.	这会让你控制自己的意念.
[40:43]	– And by “in control,” you mean… – Yes.	– 通过”控制”, 你意思是… – 是的.
[40:47]	Then you can arrive at the party any time.	然后你可以随时去参加派对.
[40:54]	And what if that doesn’t work?	要是这行不通呢?
[40:56]	Try taking a shit.	那就抽点大麻.
[41:00]	That will be $50, please.	50元, 谢谢.
[41:09]	Did we miss it?	我们错过了吗?
[41:10]	You missed it, causing me to miss it, yes.	你错过了,导致我也错过了,是的.
[41:13]	I was meditating, and I lost track of time.	我在冥想, 然后没有了时间观念.
[41:14]	Meditating? You always have some excuse.	冥想? 你总是找借口.
[41:18]	And it’s endearing?	这惹人爱?
[41:19]	And it’s annoying.	惹人厌.
[41:20]	Look, let’s just go back to my place, we’ll rent a movie.	瞧, 不如去我那里, 我们可以租部片子.
[41:23]	Let me make it up to you.	让我补偿你一下.
[41:25]	– I have a headache. – What, you have a headache?	– 我头痛. – 什么, 你头痛?
[41:27]	– That’s what I said. – Yeah, but you never get headaches.	– 我是这么说来着. – 是, 但你从没有过头痛.
[41:29]	Well, congratulations, you’ve given me a headache.	呃, 恭喜, 是你让我有了头痛.
[41:31]	Now you get to deal with an extra-grumpy girlfriend.	现在你得应付一个极其坏脾气的女友.
[41:33]	Yeah, look, Lauren.	是, 瞧, 劳伦.
[41:36]	– Lauren. – What?	– 劳伦. – 什么?
[41:38]	I am very sorry.	我很抱歉.
[41:41]	I know that you hate to wait.	我知道你很讨厌等人.
[41:44]	You make it seem like it’s my fault.	你搞得这好像是我的错一样.
[41:47]	Hello. I said I’m sorry.	哈罗. 我说了我对不起.
[41:49]	Yeah, but you phrased it in a way	是, 但你的表述似乎
[41:50]	that suggests that the reason I’m mad is because of me.	在暗示我生气的原因是我自己造成的.
[41:52]	I’m sorry that I phrase it in a way that you don’t find genuine?	我很抱歉我的表述方式让你觉得不诚心?
[41:56]	You’re doing it again.	你又来了.
[41:58]	Well, I’m sorry that I can’t apologize in a way that you find acceptable.	呃, 我很抱歉我的道歉方式让你觉得不能接受.
[42:01]	Look, sweetie, baby rabbit, we’re gonna rent a movie.	瞧, 甜心, 宝贝兔, 我们去租个片子.
[42:03]	We’re gonna have a great night.	我们将会有个美好的夜晚.
[42:05]	We’ll make a pizza. You wanna make a pizza?	我们要做匹萨. 你想做匹萨吗?
[42:07]	Who doesn’t like to make a pizza at home?	谁不想在家做匹萨?
[42:09]	When I first met Gil it was after one of his shows,	我第一次和吉尔见面是在他一场表演结束后,
[42:12]	and he was sweaty and smelly and very, very sexy.	他大汗淋漓,浑身汗臭但灰常灰常性感.
[42:18]	The sex with Nanette at first was off the charts.	当初和纳内特的做爱偏离了图表.
[42:21]	I mean, I was at the top of my game.	我意思是,我掌控着自己的游戏.
[42:23]	What I was doing is I was just picturing myself as her.	我所做的是将自己幻想成她.
[42:27]	And then I would just make love to her	然后我会跟她做爱
[42:29]	the way I’d want to make love to myseIf.	就好像是要跟我自己做一样.
[42:31]	I started to realize that it wasn’t just after his shows, you know?	我开始意识到这并不是他刚表演完, 你知道吗?
[42:36]	He always smelled that bad.	他总是臭得要死.
[42:37]	You know, I’m not used to being dumped.	你知道, 我还没习惯被甩.
[42:39]	I mean, look at me. I didn’t ask for all these gifts.	我意思, 看着我. 我并没有开口要所有这些礼物.
[42:42]	It’s just… I’m a treat.	这只是…我是个偶像.
[42:44]	I’m in a band, I sing, I’m handsome.	我玩乐队, 我唱歌, 我很帅.
[42:47]	I got a bike, I got this cowboy fashion thing going on,	我有电单车, 我让这种牛仔时尚风行.
[42:50]	a little Easy Rider.	有点像逍遥骑士(电影名).
[42:52]	I mean, I can cook a quesadilla while I make love.	我意思, 我在做爱的时候可以炸玉米饼.
[42:55]	I mean, that’s focus.	我意思是, 这就是专注.
[42:56]	He could stink so bad it makes my eyes tear.	他可以臭到把我的眼泪熏出来.
[43:00]	Her eyes would tear. I mean, it was crazy.	她会流泪. 我意思, 这很疯狂.
[43:03]	I mean, that’s what I’m packing.	我意思是, 这是我为何要走人.
[43:05]	I mean, she made it seem like it may have been the underwear,	我意思是, 她弄的这事好像是因为那件内衣
[43:08]	but it’s not what you’re wearing, it’s what’s inside it.	但问题不是你穿什么, 而是你内衣里面有什么.
[43:12]	You know, it’s about your heart and your balls.	你知道, 这是关于你的心和蛋蛋.
[43:14]	And then he actually expects me to have physical contact with him?	然后他真的希望我和他有肉体上的接触.
[43:18]	You know, part of me, like, in my loins…	你知道, 一部分的我, 像,我下身的…
[43:23]	I think she might be seeing someone else	我想她可能会去找别的男人
[43:25]	because it tingles sometimes.	因为它有时会刺痛.
[43:28]	I started seeing someone else a couple of months ago.	几个月前我开始和另一个男人谈朋友.
[43:32]	Tell us about him.	那就说说他吧.
[43:34]	What can I say?	我该怎么说呢?
[43:35]	He just really knows how to treat a woman.	他是真的知道怎么去讨好一个女人.
[43:40]	– Hello. – This guy?	– 哈罗. – 这个家伙?
[43:42]	You see, you chose this guy over me?	你看, 你选这家伙而不选我?
[43:44]	This guy? Are you crazy?	这家伙? 你疯了吗?
[43:47]	I mean, look at my hair. You know?	我意思是, 瞧瞧我的头发. 你知道吗?
[43:50]	Curtis satisfies me in ways that you could never even imagine.	你永远无法想像柯蒂斯是怎样满足我的.
[43:57]	And wash your balls.	洗洗你的球吧.
[44:00]	I’ll wash one. I’m not gonna just jump into things.	我会只洗一个. 我不会贸然行事.
[44:06]	Didn’t your Dad drive through the guest house?	你爸是不是驾车冲过那家庭旅馆?
[44:10]	Not the guest house.	不是家庭旅馆.
[44:11]	The fence, a couple of times. It was mostly the side patio.	是栅栏, 有几次. 几乎是旁边的露台.
[44:16]	Yeah, he has a problem with depth perception in general.	对, 总的来说他对深度的知觉是有问题的.
[44:19]	You know, I actually really miss	你知道, 我真的想念
[44:20]	those family vacations we used to take.	我们之前的家庭假期.
[44:22]	Except for the car rides. Those were torture.	除了坐车以外. 那是种折磨.
[44:24]	Remember that time we all went skiing that one year?	记得那次我们全部去滑雪那年吗?
[44:26]	And I hurt my knee.	我伤了我的膝盖.
[44:27]	And I had to carry you, what, half a mile to the lodge?	我还得背你, 什么, 要半里路到旅舍?
[44:30]	– I have something to confess. – What?	– 我想坦白一些事. – 什么?
[44:32]	Um, my knee might not have been as hurt as I said.	嗯, 我的膝盖也许不是像我说的伤得那么利害.
[44:40]	Lauren, I mean, I don’t want this to seem too forward,	劳伦, 我意思是, 我不想太莽撞,
[44:44]	but are you dating anyone right now?	但你现在有和其它人约会吗?
[44:49]	Yeah.	是.
[44:50]	I knew that. I mean, God’s not that kind, is he?	我就知道. 我意思, 上帝没有那么仁慈, 不是吗?
[44:53]	Oh, shut up, Dan. You probably have tons of girlfriends.	哦, 闭嘴, 丹. 你可能有无数的女友.
[44:57]	Not even a pound.	一个也没有.
[44:58]	I don’t buy it for a second.	我一秒都不会相信你.
[45:00]	You’re probably a player.	你很可能是个公子哥.
[45:03]	No, I think I just wanna find the right person.	不,我想我只是要找到那个对的人.
[45:06]	You know, get married, start a family.	你知道,结婚,有个家庭.
[45:10]	Me too.	我也是.
[45:12]	I mean, not that I haven’t.	我意思是,不是我没有.
[45:16]	So this guy, your boyfriend…	那么这家伙,你的男朋友…
[45:20]	Andy is his name.	他的名字叫安迪.
[45:22]	Andy. Hmm.	安迪.哼.
[45:25]	Does he take care of you?	他会关心你吗?
[45:43]	Hello?	喂?
[45:44]	Hi.	嗨.
[45:45]	Hi.	嗨.
[45:46]	How may I help you?	我能帮你什么?
[45:47]	Do you have any books on women?	你有关于女人方面的书吗?
[45:50]	What specifically about them?	关于她们哪方面的?
[45:52]	Um, something like… how to make love to a woman?	嗯,像那种…如何跟女人做爱?
[45:57]	Ohh… okay.	哦…OK.
[46:02]	Let me just check for you.	让我找找看.
[46:04]	Sure.	好的.
[46:05]	– Nanette! – Yeah?	– 纳内特! – 嗯?
[46:07]	Do we happen to have any books	我们是否刚好有
[46:09]	about how to make love to a woman?	关于如何跟女人做爱的书?
[46:12]	How to what?	如何跟什么?
[46:13]	Make love to a woman.	跟女人做爱.
[46:15]	How to make love to a woman.	如何跟女人做爱.
[46:18]	Um, hang on, let me check.	哦, 等等, 我看看.
[46:21]	Okay.	好.
[46:21]	She’s just gonna check for you.	她会帮你找的.
[46:23]	I feel like you think this is for me, but it’s not.	我觉得你认为书是我自用的, 不过不是这样.
[46:26]	It’s for somebody else.	这是买给其它人的.
[46:28]	Nope, no books on how to make love to a woman. Sorry.	没, 没有关于如何跟女人做爱的书. 抱歉.
[46:32]	Oh, no problem. I’ll just get my friend something else.	哦, 没关系. 我帮我朋友到其它地方再找找.
[46:36]	Or maybe I’ll, you know, I’ll write down some of my own techniques	或者也许我会, 你知道, 我会写些我自己的一些技巧
[46:39]	and I’ll just give those to him.	然后交给他.
[46:40]	It’s no big deal. No big deal.	小CASE. 小CASE.
[46:42]	Maybe I’ll just get a pen and some paper.	或许我会要支笔和些纸.
[46:45]	Over here? Good.	那里? 好.
[46:52]	Hey, buddy.	嗨, 老兄.
[46:54]	I hear ya on the woman thing.	我听你在说女人的事.
[46:57]	I think I can help. I know a thing or two.	我想我能帮点忙. 我略知一二.
[46:59]	Hey, look, I’m really… I’m fine with information.	嘿, 瞧, 我真的…知识渊博.
[47:01]	– No, and.. and I’ve been there, too. – No, thank you.	– 不, 并且…我也去过那儿. – 不, 谢谢你.
[47:03]	Oils.	油.
[47:05]	– Hear me out. Flavored oils. – No, that’s not true.	– 听我说完. 加料的油. – 不, 这不是真的.
[47:08]	Now, I know we’ve all been there, lube it up, have a great time.	现在, 我知道我们都去过那儿, 润滑一下, 玩得开心.
[47:11]	But what I’m talking about is another level.	但我说是另一个层面的事.
[47:14]	Hey, so what’s Andy like?	嗨, 安迪是怎么样的人?
[47:16]	He’s very sweet.	他很体贴.
[47:18]	– And it combines that… – He’s funny.	– 而且还… – 他很风趣.
[47:19]	…that taste, the tingle on the tongue with the tingle down there…	…那个味道, 舌头刺痛感和那下面的刺痛感…
[47:23]	I know he would never do anything to hurt me.	我知道他绝不会做任何伤害我的事.
[47:28]	Sounds like a puppy.	听上去像只小狗.
[47:31]	Yes, exactly, he’s like a puppy. Only not as cute.	是的, 对极了, 他就像只小狗. 只是没那么可爱.
[47:34]	It’s the kind of thing that they pass down in tribes	这是那种部落里
[47:37]	for years and years generation after generation…	世世代代流传下来的东西…
[47:40]	What you need to realize, though, is that, you know, most women,	你需要意识到的是,你知道, 大多数女人,
[47:43]	they may say they want connection,	她们可能会说她们需要联系.
[47:45]	they wanna get hit like a sack of potatoes.	她们想像打一袋土豆一样被打.
[47:47]	You guys ever talk about getting married?	你们有谈过结婚吗?
[47:49]	No, not really.	不, 没有.
[47:52]	Does that bother you?	这让你很困扰吗?
[47:53]	No.	不.
[47:56]	Okay, a little.	好吧, 有点.
[47:58]	Why don’t you just talk to him about it?	为什么你不干脆和他说?
[47:59]	Well, I don’t wanna seem too pushy.	嗯, 我不想显得在催他.
[48:01]	My mother was pushy, and look what happened.	我母亲很爱催, 看看发生了什么.
[48:04]	So you really think he’s the one?	那么你真的认为他就是你要找的那个人?
[48:07]	I guess I have my doubts.	我猜我还有些疑虑.
[48:11]	Well, I don’t see it, ’cause it’s really obscure.	呃, 我没看到, 因为非常模糊.
[48:16]	– And it doesn’t exist. – It does exist.	– 并不存在. – 它并不存在.
[48:18]	I’m telling you.	我告诉你.
[48:19]	Where do you wanna go?	你想去哪里?
[48:30]	They don’t let you sleep here, I don’t think.	他们不让你睡这儿, 我不这么认为.
[48:35]	I know they don’t.	我知道他们不让.
[48:37]	Just letting you know.	只是让你知道一下.
[48:50]	Hi.	嗨.
[48:52]	– Hey, guys. – Hey.	– 嘿, 哥们儿. – 嗨.
[48:53]	Congratulations, Andy. I heard about your big decision.	恭喜, 安迪. 我听说你的重大决定了.
[48:57]	– What decision? – You’re getting married.	– 什么决定? – 你要结婚了.
[48:59]	I’m not getting married.	我不会结婚.
[49:00]	Of course you are. You’re in love.	当然你会. 你在恋爱中.
[49:03]	She doesn’t think I’m the one.	她不认为我是她要的那个人.
[49:05]	What are you talking about?	你在说什么?
[49:06]	She said so, tonight, at a bookstore.	她是这么说的, 今晚, 在一个书店里.
[49:09]	I overheard her talking to some guy.	我碰巧听到她和某个家伙在说这个.
[49:11]	Who?	谁?
[49:11]	Some guy she’s probabIy sleeping with.	某个她可能正在和他睡觉的家伙.
[49:14]	Some guy who could probably satisfy her in bed.	某个可能在床上满足她的家伙.
[49:16]	– What a bitch. – Don’t say that, Layne.	– 真是个贱人. – 别这么说, 雷尼.
[49:18]	Why not, Nomi?	为什么不, 诺咪?
[49:19]	Andy’s the most devoted boyfriend in the world.	安迪是这个世界上最用心的男友了.
[49:22]	Why would she do that? That’s not love.	为什么她要这么做? 那不是爱.
[49:23]	Are you sure you know what you heard?	你确信你听到的吗?
[49:25]	Okay, maybe it was out of context.	好了, 也许这是道听途说.
[49:26]	Oh, my God, Nomi, he’s not stupid.	哦, 我的上帝, 诺咪, 他不笨.
[49:28]	And why are you defending her? You hate her.	为什么你要为她辩解? 你恨她.
[49:31]	You hate Lauren?	你恨劳伦?
[49:32]	– Despise. – I don’t hate Lauren.	– 鄙视. – 我不恨劳伦.
[49:34]	Okay, I don’t really like her, but I don’t hate her.	好吧, 我不太喜欢她但我不恨她.
[49:37]	You don’t like Lauren?	你不喜欢劳伦?
[49:39]	I just… I don’t think she’s right for you, Andy.	我只是…我不认为她合适你, 安迪.
[49:41]	Layne’s the one who thinks she’s changed you.	雷尼是那个认为她改变了你的人.
[49:44]	Oh, you think I’ve changed?	哦, 你认为我变了?
[49:46]	When I met you, you had a Hawaiian shirt and a mustache.	我遇见你的时候, 你穿夏威夷衬衫留着胡子.
[49:49]	You looked like a black Magnum P.I.	你看上去像个黑人私家侦探麦格侬(一部美剧的名字)
[49:51]	Okay, first of all, that was a look, and I look more like T.C.	好, 首先, 那只个打扮, 并且我看上去更像汤姆塞莱克本人(私家侦探麦格侬的主演)
[49:54]	You’re no T.C.	你一点都不像.
[49:57]	You wanna go? Fine.	你想走? 好.
[49:59]	Yes, you’ve changed.	是, 你变了.
[50:01]	Really? How?	真的? 怎样?
[50:03]	You’re flaky, you dress bad,	你变得古怪, 穿着极差.
[50:06]	everything you do now has to be cleared.	你做的任何事都得得到批准.
[50:07]	And there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m just saying,	那样并没错, 但我只是说,
[50:09]	you leased out your man soul for a guaranteed lousy lay in bed	你出卖了自己男人的灵魂只是为了得到每周一次有保证的垃圾
[50:14]	once a week.	床上运动.
[50:15]	You’re not a dude anymore, okay?	你不再是个花花公子了,知道吗?
[50:18]	Well, okay. Clearly, I don’t need this.	呃, 好. 很明显, 我不需要这个.
[50:20]	Oh, oh, what? What, so you can dish it out, but you can’t take it?	哦, 哦, 什么? 什么, 你敢做不敢当?
[50:24]	Look, I got somebody who cares about me now, Layne, all right?	瞧, 我现在有人关心我了, 雷尼, 好吗?
[50:27]	I’m sorry if that stings a little.	抱歉如果这伤到你的话.
[50:29]	And I dress fucking awesome!	还有我穿着好极了!
[50:31]	Who’s going to the Lethal Weapon parties with me now?!	谁要跟我去致命武器派对?
[50:36]	I gotta find me a new white boy.	我得再找个新的白人朋友.
[50:39]	– There’s lots of them. – That shit ain’t easy!	– 他们到处都是. – 那相当不易!
[50:41]	What’s up, man? What’s your name?	怎样, 老兄? 你叫什么名字?
[50:45]	Hi.	嗨.
[50:47]	Hi.	嗨.
[50:50]	Where have you been?	你去哪儿了?
[50:51]	I was at a show. Where have you been?	我在秀场. 你去哪儿了?
[50:54]	Well, I’ve been here, waiting as usual.	呃, 我这儿, 像往常一样等待着.
[50:58]	Hmm.	嗯.
[51:00]	But before that, what’d you do tonight?	但这之前, 今晚你做了什么?
[51:02]	Nothing.	什么也没做.
[51:10]	– I saw you with that guy, Lauren. – You mean with…	– 我看见你跟个男的一起, 劳伦. – 你意思和…
[51:14]	I heard what you said.	我听到你们的谈话了.
[51:16]	I’m not the one?	我不是你要的那个人?
[51:20]	I didn’t say that.	我没这么说.
[51:27]	I said that I had doubts.	我说我有疑虑.
[51:30]	Sweet. Thanks.	甜心. 谢谢.
[51:33]	Makes me feel a whole lot better.	让我感觉好多了.
[51:35]	Who is this new Joe Stud?	这位新朋友是谁?
[51:37]	He’s just a colleague.	他只是一个同事.
[51:38]	He’s in town from Chicago, and we decided…	他从芝加哥来, 我们决定…
[51:41]	Why’d you lie to me?	为什么你要向我撒谎?
[51:43]	I didn’t lie.	我没有撒谎.
[51:46]	I wasn’t on a date, Andy. I didn’t do anything wrong.	我没有在约会, 安迪. 我没有做错任何事.
[51:49]	Besides, you don’t hear me going crazy	此外, 你却没听到每次
[51:51]	every time you’re out with Nomi.	你和诺咪出去我是怎么气急败坏的.
[51:53]	Are you lying now?	你现在撒谎吗?
[51:56]	I can’t even believe you just said that.	我无法相信你会这样说.
[51:58]	Is this because of the… you know…	这是因为…你知道…
[52:02]	because I’ve been making big changes. I’m really trying.	因为我做了很大改变. 我真在尝试.
[52:06]	Oh, but are you really?	哦, 但你真的?
[52:08]	Of course I am.	当然我是.
[52:09]	And it’s not as easy as you might think.	这可能不是你想像的那么容易.
[52:11]	It’s actually quite difficult.	实际上非常难.
[52:13]	Oh, so now you’re blaming me.	哦, 所以你现在怪罪起我了.
[52:15]	Let’s just say you’re not the easiest woman to please.	我得说你不是一个很容易就可以讨好的女人.
[52:19]	So I can’t do anything right, can I?	所以我无法做对任何事, 是吗?
[52:22]	What do you want from me?	你要我干嘛?
[52:25]	Don’t answer that, ’cause I already know.	别回答, 因为我已经知道了.
[52:33]	Curtis offered me a job in Chicago.	柯蒂斯给了我个在芝加哥工作的机会.
[52:37]	And I’m thinking about taking it.	我在考虑接受它.
[52:42]	What?	什么?
[52:48]	Fine.	好吧.
[52:52]	Take it.	接受吧.
[52:56]	Andy, come on.	安迪, 过来.
[53:00]	Really?	真的?
[53:04]	Have fun.	开心点.
[53:06]	You know, Chicago has really cold winters.	你知道, 芝加哥天气非常冷.
[53:10]	You take it.	你接受吧.
[53:12]	Andy!	安迪!
[53:41]	Once you hit the five stars, it’s pretty much impossible.	一旦你达到五星了, 这是非常不可能的.
[53:45]	I jump in the water,	我就跳河,
[53:46]	get, you know, blown up by the hull.	然后被船撞飞.
[53:58]	Jenna Jameson?	简娜詹姆士?
[54:04]	I don’t know what I’m talkin’ about?	我不知道我在说什么?
[54:06]	Hey, go get my frickin’ chips!	嘿, 去拿我的马铃薯条过来.
[54:09]	Shove it, Tony! Shove it!	走开, 托尼! 走开!
[54:11]	Thank you.	谢谢你.
[54:18]	Give me a bottle of that magicness over there.	给我拿一瓶那个魔水.
[54:28]	What’s your excuse?	你是什么状况?
[54:30]	Girlfriend fight. You?	和女友吵架. 你呢?
[54:33]	What, you didn’t see the caravan of Snack Packs	什么, 你没看到那卖小吃的拖车
[54:37]	and size fours roll in?	和4位美女进来?
[54:39]	I did, actually. They’re beautiful.	我看到了, 实际上. 她们很漂亮.
[54:43]	You must’ve had a few fights in your day.	你当红时肯定也有过不少争吵.
[54:46]	I’ve won a couple.	我赢过几次.
[54:52]	I’ll sell that horse for gas if you don’t stop right now.	如果你现在不停的话,我要卖了那匹马换汽油.
[54:56]	Stay over here and put that gas pump back!	停在那儿,把油泵放回去!
[54:58]	You’re gonna blow us all up!	你会把我们炸上天的!
[55:01]	Can I give you some advice?	我能给你点建议吗?
[55:04]	Please.	请.
[55:05]	Good communication skills are the key to any relationship.	良好的沟通技巧是建立任何关系的关键.
[55:10]	You said that in James Bondage, didn’t you?	你在詹姆士邦迪及说过这话, 是吗?
[55:12]	Those are words to live by.	那些是要信守的良言.
[55:15]	I mean, Tony and I…	我意思, 托尼和我…
[55:18]	we say it like we really feel.	我们说的就像我们真的感受到的.
[55:21]	Hey, who’s this guy?	嘿, 这家伙是谁?
[55:25]	I feel jealous.	我感到嫉妒了.
[55:27]	I will cut you in the face if you make a problem.	你要捣乱的话我会削你的脸.
[55:30]	He’s a nice guy. He’s having a rough night.	他是个好人. 他今晚很郁闷.
[55:34]	Oh. Dang.	哦,靠.
[55:36]	See? By simply saying what you feel…	瞧? 通过简单说出你的感受…
[55:39]	I mean, really feel…	我意思, 真的感受…
[55:41]	that’s how you don’t cloud the issue.	这样你才不会把事情弄糟.
[55:44]	Oh, I definitely didn’t say what I really meant tonight.	哦, 我今晚肯定没有说出我的真实意思.
[55:47]	Could I suggest something?	我能给点建议吗?
[55:49]	Maybe a bottle of wine and then an apology.	或许一瓶红酒和一个道歉.
[55:53]	Not my beer?	不是我的啤酒?
[55:55]	Get your asses in the car or Jesus doesn’t love you.	坐进车里来否则上帝不会爱你的.
[55:59]	– Not Jesus! No, no, no! – Not Jesus! No, no, no!	– 不是上帝! 不, 不, 不! – 不是上帝! 不, 不, 不!
[56:07]	Good luck, Andy.	好运, 安迪.
[56:09]	Thanks, Jenna.	谢谢, 简娜.
[56:18]	Lauren?	劳伦?
[56:53]	And then he just kind of, like, blew up at me.	然后他有点,像,冲我发火.
[56:58]	He…	他…
[57:02]	He told me to take the job in Chicago.	他让我接受芝加哥的工作.
[57:07]	Like he doesn’t even care!	就像他根本不在乎似的!
[57:09]	Honey, of course he doesn’t care.	甜心, 他当然在乎.
[57:11]	He’s just like the rest of the heartless,	他只是像那边其他那些没心没肺的,
[57:13]	reproducing machines out there.	生殖机器一样.
[57:14]	I mean, he should be here right now begging you to stay.	我意思, 他会马上赶来求你留下的.
[57:18]	Not throwing fits like some sort of baby-child.	他不会像小孩子一样只顾耍脾气.
[57:20]	I mean, Lauren, you cannot hold this guy’s hand	我意思, 劳伦, 在你俩关系上你不能每次有困难
[57:23]	through every hiccup in your relationship.	就要去抓他的手.
[57:25]	Well, I know this, but you know, then part of me wonders	呃, 我明白这点, 但你知道, 部分的我想知道
[57:29]	if he does really care, then…	他是否真的在乎, 然后…
[57:32]	I’d be throwing away everything that I love about him.	我会扔掉所有关于他的一切东西.
[57:34]	So? That can’t be very much.	那么? 那不算什么.
[57:36]	I’m gonna punch that little piece of shit in the Adam’s apple.	我要给那个臭狗屎来一记锁喉拳.
[57:39]	– PIease. – I will.	– 拜托. – 我会的.
[57:41]	Honey, you going to Chicago	甜心, 你去芝加哥
[57:44]	could be the best thing that happens for the both of you, okay?	会是发生在我们俩之间最美妙的事,不是吗?
[57:47]	And you’re still gonna visit all the time	并且你仍旧随时可以到访
[57:49]	because your parents are so close, right?	因为你父母这么近, 对吗?
[57:50]	Yeah.	是.
[57:52]	Or you could just string him along endlessly	或者你可以永远地吊住他
[57:53]	and make other commitments on the side.	暗地里再做其它的许诺.
[57:55]	That’s what I do.	这正是我要做的.
[57:56]	I’m thinking that maybe that’s not the best advice in the situation.	我在考虑或许在这种情况下那不是最好的建议.
[57:59]	Lauren, you know what’s right in your heart. You gotta go.	劳伦, 你知道什么是对的. 你得走了.
[58:03]	Oh, God, I wanna throw up.	哦, 上帝, 我要吐了.
[58:05]	– Oh, let it out. Let it out. – Don’t puke.	– 哦, 吐出来, 吐出来. – 别吐.
[58:43]	Nomi and Layne called to apologize again.	诺咪和雷尼又打电话来道歉.
[58:49]	When’d you talk to those jerk faces?	你几时跟那帮蠢蛋说的话?
[58:51]	Just now. I’m all out of paper, though.	刚才. 尽管我没纸了.
[58:53]	Been writing lyrics for my side project.	我在写歌词,把它作为我的次项目.
[58:55]	It’s probabIy gonna be worth it if I can make a load of cash…	这非常值得一试,如果我能赚到大把钱的话…
[58:58]	as soon as you give me a record deal.	只要你立马给我一份录音合同就行了.
[59:01]	We’ll talk later.	我们等会再说.
[59:10]	– Hello. – Is Lauren home?	– 哈罗. – 劳伦在家吗?
[59:12]	Oh, you know what? You just missed her.	哦, 你知道吗? 你刚错过了她.
[59:14]	She went home to get away from her jerk boyfriend.	她为了远离她的傻瓜男友而回家去了.
[59:17]	Wait, who is this?	慢, 你是谁?
[59:18]	Is that that little douche bag that has a blind date with my right shin?	那个小尿袋想跟我右小腿来次相亲吗?
[59:22]	Thanks.	谢谢.
[59:26]	Oh, was that your mom?	哦, 那是你妈吗?
[59:37]	– Hey, Mom? – Mm-hmm.	– 嗨, 妈? – 嗯- 哼.
[59:39]	Why did you and Dad split up?	你和爸为什么分开?
[59:43]	Because I kicked his lazy ass out. That’s why.	因为我将他这懒鬼扫地出门了. 就是这.
[59:47]	Yeah, but why?	是, 但为什么?
[59:51]	I guess I just wasn’t sure that I was in love with him anymore.	我猜我只是不能确信我还爱他.
[59:54]	And he was lazy.	并且他很懒.
[59:56]	Well, what made you change your mind?	呃, 什么让你改变了主意?
[59:59]	Found out I couldn’t live without him.	发现我无法离开他独自生活.
[1:00:00]	Because he’s the one?	因为他是你要的那个人?
[1:00:02]	No.	不.
[1:00:04]	‘Cause I Iove him.	因为我爱他.
[1:00:07]	Relationships go through all kinds of peaks and valleys, Lauren.	两性关系会经历各种各样的高峰和峡谷, 劳伦.
[1:00:11]	And there is no “one.”	而且没有所谓的”对的那个人”.
[1:00:14]	Unless you’re counting the one in the back of your imagination.	除非你算上你想像中的那个他.
[1:00:19]	Here’s what I think.	这是我所想的.
[1:00:21]	I think you find the right person that you wanna build a life with,	我认为当你找一个想与之共建家庭的那个对的人
[1:00:25]	and then you make that person the perfect one for you.	然后你会使那个人变成你要的那个完美对象.
[1:00:30]	Goddamnit! Damn it! Lawn mower’s got a mind of its own!	天呐! 我操! 割草机会自己思考了!
[1:00:33]	And you try real hard.	你非常努力.
[1:00:35]	Goddamnit!	我操!
[1:00:45]	Andy! Hey, good to see you.	安迪! 嘿, 很高兴见到你.
[1:00:47]	Hey, Dad.	嘿, 爸.
[1:00:49]	Good to see ya. Come on in.	很高兴见到你. 进来.
[1:00:51]	Yeah.	耶.
[1:00:52]	Grandpa, how ya doin’?	爷爷, 你还好吧?
[1:00:54]	Yeah, the hemorrhoids are humping like rabbits.	好, 痔疮痛得像兔子在那儿跳.
[1:00:56]	– Ah. Unfortunate. – Yeah.	– 啊. 真不幸. – 是.
[1:00:59]	– How’s everything? – Oh, yeah, everything’s great.	– 一切都好吗? – 哦, 是, 一切都好.
[1:01:02]	– I was just in the neighborhood. – Good.	– 我刚到这儿. – 很好.
[1:01:04]	– Is that Andy? – Hey.	– 那是安迪吗? – 嘿.
[1:01:06]	Mom, Andy’s home!	妈, 安迪回来了!
[1:01:07]	– Oh, hi, honey. – Hey, Mom.	– 哦, 嗨, 宝贝. – 嘿, 妈.
[1:01:11]	Did you get those teeth-whitening strips I sent you?	你收到我寄给你的那些牙齿增白带吗?
[1:01:14]	Yes, I got everything. Thank you so much.	是的, 我都收到了. 非常谢谢.
[1:01:16]	– Hey, Gram. – Where’s Lauren?	– 嗨, 奶奶. – 劳伦呢?
[1:01:18]	She went to Irvine.	她去了欧文
[1:01:19]	Shoot. I like her, Andy.	K, 我喜欢她, 安迪.
[1:01:23]	Yeah. I like her, too.	对. 我也喜欢她.
[1:01:25]	– When you gonna pop the question? – Whoa.	– 你几时才会提出那个问题? – 哦.
[1:01:27]	Yeah. I don’t know.	是, 我不知道.
[1:01:28]	God, you’re handsome.	上帝, 你真帅.
[1:01:31]	If I weren’t your grandmother,	如果我不是你奶奶,
[1:01:32]	I might get carried away after a six-pack.	六瓶酒下肚后我也会被你迷住的.
[1:01:36]	Grandma!	奶奶!
[1:01:37]	Take it easy.	放松.
[1:01:38]	Have you said hi to Scott yet?	你有跟斯科特打招呼吗?
[1:01:39]	The bastard child?	那个私生子?
[1:01:41]	It’s true. He’s not my son.	对,他不是我儿子.
[1:01:44]	He’s in his room.	他在他房间里.
[1:01:45]	You’ve always been such a good influence on him.	你总是对他有很好的影响力.
[1:01:47]	He’s really nervous about a little date of his own tonight.	他正为今晚自己的一点小约会而紧张中.
[1:01:50]	Would you go?	你去吗?
[1:01:52]	Yeah, I’ll go talk to him.	是, 我要去跟他谈谈.
[1:01:54]	Dinner in five minutes.	五分钟后开饭.
[1:01:55]	– Pot roast. – Come on, Mom.	– 炖肉. – 来吧, 妈.
[1:01:59]	Hey, little bro.	嗨, 小兄弟.
[1:02:00]	What’s up, baby? What’s crackin’? Thanks for the tickets.	还好吗, 宝贝? 怎么样? 谢谢你的票.
[1:02:03]	Oh, not a problem. Who you takin’?	哦, 没什么. 你要跟谁出去?
[1:02:05]	Barbie.	芭比.
[1:02:08]	Barbie? Is that your girlfriend?	芭比? 她是你女朋友?
[1:02:12]	Let’s just say we party.	不如说我们在一起玩.
[1:02:13]	Nice.	不错.
[1:02:17]	Hey, Scott.	嘿, 斯科特.
[1:02:19]	Have you ever…	你有没有…
[1:02:22]	– You know, I mean, have you… – Fucked?	– 你知道, 我意思, 你有没有… – 干过?
[1:02:25]	Yeah.	对.
[1:02:28]	It’s… it’s kinda my specialty.	这…这有点是我专长.
[1:02:32]	I’m not playing T-ball anymore, you know?	我不是在跟你玩棒球游戏,你明白吗?
[1:02:34]	Well, let me ask you something.	呃, 我得问问你.
[1:02:36]	Have you ever had a problem with…	你有没有过那种问题…
[1:02:39]	…arriving earIy?	…早泄?
[1:02:40]	No. No.	不. 不.
[1:02:43]	But I take it you have.	但我当作你有好了.
[1:02:47]	Andy, Andy, Andy.	安迪, 安迪, 安迪.
[1:02:49]	Ever tried the “Hammer of Thor” grip?	你有试过”雷神之锤”控制吗?
[1:02:51]	The what of who?	什么玩意儿?
[1:02:53]	“Hammer of Thor.”	“雷神之锤”.
[1:02:55]	If you’re about to crash the party, just grab the e-brake and pull.	在你快要泄的那一刻,赶紧用手堵住马眼往回拉.
[1:03:01]	Don’t use it too often, though.	但别经常用这招.
[1:03:02]	She’ll lose everything she’s been building up.	她会丢掉一切的.
[1:03:04]	– And there’s the pre-date. – Pre-date?	– 还有需要有个事前约会. – 事前约会?
[1:03:07]	Come on, Andy.	拜托, 安迪.
[1:03:08]	30 minutes before you party, have a little pre-party.	你做之前30分钟,要有个小小的前奏.
[1:03:13]	That, combined with a lot of foreplay,	这包括大量的前戏,
[1:03:16]	some sensual kissing,	和激吻,
[1:03:19]	and a little afterplay cunnilingus, that should do the trick.	还要再来点后戏舔阴, 就差不多了.
[1:03:22]	– Afterplay cunnilingus? – Yeah.	– 后戏舔阴? – 对.
[1:03:23]	That’s like putting your mouth where your dick just was.	就好像把你的嘴放在你小弟弟上一样.
[1:03:27]	You’re essentially giving yourself a blowjob.	你本质上在给你自己口交.
[1:03:29]	If only, Andy. If only.	要是就好了, 安迪. 要是就好了.
[1:03:32]	All right, listen up.	好了, 听好.
[1:03:33]	A good way to think about it	一个好的方式去想它
[1:03:35]	is like it’s a ride, not a race, you know?	就像这是在骑乘, 不是在赛跑, 你明白吗?
[1:03:40]	Once you get your motor started, you just gotta ease it into first	一旦你发动引擎, 你得首先松把油门
[1:03:45]	and cruise for a while.	然后缓行一阵.
[1:03:48]	And then after you hear her go like this…	然后等到你听到她发出像这…
[1:03:51]	…just push in the clutch and shift her into second.	…就踩离合换到第二档.
[1:03:57]	I don’t want… I’d rather not look, but I get it.	我不想… 我宁愿不看, 但我知道了.
[1:03:59]	When you hear her go…	等你听到她发出像这样…
[1:04:02]	…just throw it into third and go like this.	…就立马挂三档,像这样一样.
[1:04:04]	But then if you hear her go like this…	但如果你听到她发出像这样…
[1:04:10]	…just floor it and count to 300.	…马上挂到第一档然后数到300.
[1:04:14]	Aaaahhhh!	啊哈!
[1:04:16]	All right. Scotty, Scotty, Scotty, Scotty.	好的. 斯柯蒂,斯柯蒂,斯柯蒂,斯柯蒂.
[1:04:20]	What if I’m…	要是我…
[1:04:22]	What if I don’t make it to 300?	要是我数不到300呢?
[1:04:24]	What if I can only count to, like, six?	要是我只能数到,比如, 六呢?
[1:04:26]	Holy shit, six?	有没搞错, 六?
[1:04:29]	100 will get her to Orlando.	100就能让她去到奥兰多了.
[1:04:32]	300 will get her there and back.	300可以让她打个来回.
[1:04:34]	Six will get you a bad attitude the next day.	六的话会让你明天没有好脸色看.
[1:04:39]	All right. That made me hungry.	好吧. 搞得我很饿了.
[1:04:42]	Let’s eat.	吃饭吧.
[1:04:43]	I’ve got a 9:00 with Barbie and her sister. Know what I mean?	我和芭比还有她妹妹9点见. 知道我意思吗?
[1:04:49]	Andy, did you know that Scotty has a girlfriend?	安迪, 你知道斯柯蒂有女朋友了吗?
[1:04:52]	– Barbie, right? – That’s right.	– 芭比, 对吗? – 对了.
[1:04:54]	– Did you kiss her yet? – Aw, come on, Dad.	– 你有吻过她吗? – 哦, 得了, 爸.
[1:04:57]	What were you two talking about back there? I heard noises.	你们俩刚才在那儿叨咕什么呢? 我听到响动挺大.
[1:05:02]	Oh, yeah. Andy can’t get Lauren to climax in bed.	哦, 是. 安迪不能让劳伦在床上达到高潮.
[1:05:04]	– Whoa. – Oh, honey.	– 哇, – 哦, 宝贝.
[1:05:06]	Are you taking your vitamins?	你有在吃维他命吗?
[1:05:08]	Scott, aren’t you supposed to meet someone about now?	斯柯特, 你现在不是要和谁会面吗?
[1:05:11]	Oh, yeah, yeah, totally.	哦, 对, 对, 非常对.
[1:05:14]	Can I have money?	我能要些钱吗?
[1:05:18]	Just make sure that you’re home by midnight.	要保证12点前回来.
[1:05:22]	Pops, I promise I will be in bed by midnight.	老爸, 我保证12点前一定在床上.
[1:05:26]	300.	三百
[1:05:28]	So, are you impotent or something?	那么, 你是阳痿还是什么?
[1:05:31]	Does your pecker work at all?	还是你的鸡巴根本不管用?
[1:05:33]	Yes. Yes, it works. It works like crazy.	不.不, 管用. 管用极了.
[1:05:37]	It’s awesome.	棒极了.
[1:05:38]	Good.	好.
[1:05:40]	Do… do you mix things up a little? Show her some variety?	你…你有没有弄点花样? 给她弄点新花样?
[1:05:43]	Yeah.	对.
[1:05:44]	Gotta be spontaneous. We used to do it in your room.	得很自然. 我们以前就在你的房间里做.
[1:05:47]	No.	不.
[1:05:49]	And you have to know her fantasies.	还有你得知道她的性幻想.
[1:05:51]	You know, like pirate and slave girl.	你知道, 就像海盗和女奴.
[1:05:54]	Arr, you’re mine now, you brown beauty.	啊, 你是我的了, 美人.
[1:05:57]	I got ya.	我抓到你了.
[1:05:59]	Do you do foreplay?	你会做前戏吗?
[1:06:02]	Grandma…	奶奶…
[1:06:03]	Yes, I do foreplay.	是, 我会做前戏.
[1:06:06]	But do you go down on her?	但你会埋头到她下面去吗?
[1:06:08]	Mother!	妈!
[1:06:08]	Hey, you wanna get to Vegas, you gotta cross the desert, son.	嘿, 你要去维加斯, 你就得穿过沙漠, 儿子.
[1:06:12]	Since when did everyone in this family	什么时候开始我们家每个人
[1:06:13]	turn into some kind of sex expert?	都成了性专家了?
[1:06:15]	We got cable last month.	上个月我们装了有线.
[1:06:18]	You have to find out what Lauren enjoys,	你得找到劳伦喜欢什么,
[1:06:23]	what she wants.	需要什么.
[1:06:25]	When did you last tell her that you loved her?	你最后一次告诉她你爱她是什么时候?
[1:06:27]	Well, never.	呃, 从未说过.
[1:06:30]	What?	什么?
[1:06:31]	Andy, women need to hear those magic words.	安迪, 女人需要听到那些魔咒.
[1:06:35]	There’s your problem.	这是你的问题.
[1:06:38]	Well, I’ve never heard Dad say it.	呃, 我从没听到爸说过这话.
[1:06:40]	That’s the last thing he says to me every night.	每晚她都会跟我说.
[1:06:45]	Really?	真的?
[1:06:47]	I…	我…
[1:06:49]	I never realized.	我从没意识到.
[1:06:50]	Do you love her?	你爱她吗?
[1:06:52]	Yeah. I really do.	是. 我当然爱.
[1:06:56]	You gotta tell her.	你得告诉她.
[1:06:58]	Forget everything else. That’s the most important thing of all.	忘记其它的事. 这才是最重要的事.
[1:07:03]	When I get back, I’ll take her somewhere really nice and I’ll…	等我回去, 我要带她去到某个非常好的地方然后我要…
[1:07:06]	Now, Andy.	现在, 安迪.
[1:07:08]	Now.	现在.
[1:07:26]	Daniel.	丹尼尔
[1:07:28]	Can Lauren come out to play?	劳伦能出来玩吗?
[1:07:30]	What are you doing here?	你在这儿干嘛?
[1:07:32]	Curtis said you’d be visiting your parents.	柯蒂斯说你去拜访你父母了.
[1:07:34]	He did, did he?	他这样说的?
[1:07:35]	He wants me to convince you to take the Chicago job.	他让我劝你接受芝加哥的那份工作.
[1:07:38]	So here.	所以我来这了.
[1:07:42]	Wow.	哇.
[1:07:45]	– Plane tickets. – Mm-hmm.	– 飞机票. – 嗯- 哼.
[1:07:48]	Can I talk you into a glass of wine? We’ll celebrate?	我能跟你共进一杯红酒吗? 我们要庆祝?
[1:07:54]	I don’t know if I should.	我不知道我是否应该.
[1:07:56]	I know a great little Italian spot just right down the road.	我知道一个很棒的意大利景点,就在路那边.
[1:07:59]	Are you forgetting that I grew up here, too?	你也忘记我是在这儿长大的了吗?
[1:08:02]	Come on.	行了.
[1:08:04]	No, I shouldn’t.	不, 我不能.
[1:08:06]	Why?	为什么?
[1:08:07]	Andy and I are fighting.	我和安迪正在冷战.
[1:08:09]	Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.	哦, 抱歉听到这个.
[1:08:11]	That’s a bummer.	这是个麻烦事.
[1:08:13]	Wait, these are plane tickets, and you act like it’s not a big deal.	等等, 这是飞机票, 但你却表现得好像这没什么大不了的.
[1:08:16]	Well, it’s not.	嗯, 的确没什么.
[1:08:17]	Really. I mean, these are just pieces of paper.	真的. 我意思, 这些只不过是几张纸罢了.
[1:08:19]	The actual flying part is the big deal.	实际飞行部分才重要.
[1:08:23]	Right.	对.
[1:08:24]	Come on, one little glass of wine.	来吧, 一小杯红酒.
[1:08:26]	A half… a little, itsy-bitsy, tiny glass of wine.	一半… 一点, 非常少, 很小杯的红酒.
[1:08:33]	Okay, but just one.	好吧. 但就一杯.
[1:08:34]	Just one. Well, that… yeah, that’s what I said.	就一杯. 呃, 这…对, 这是我要说的.
[1:08:51]	Hi, you’ve reached Lauren.	嗨, 你找到劳伦了.
[1:08:52]	I’m away from my phone right now, but if you leave a message I’ll…	我现在不在电话旁, 但你留言的话我会…
[1:08:58]	Oh, hello, Andy.	哦, 哈罗, 安迪.
[1:09:00]	Hello, Mrs. Baker.	哈罗, 贝克太太.
[1:09:01]	– What brings you here? – Lauren.	– 什么风把你吹来了? – 劳伦.
[1:09:03]	She’s not answering my calls,	她不回我电话,
[1:09:06]	and we kind of had this little, tiny fight.	我们有点小争执.
[1:09:08]	– May I speak with her? – She went downtown.	– 我能跟她说话吗? – 她去市中心了.
[1:09:11]	Do you know where downtown?	你知道在哪儿吗?
[1:09:13]	– No, honey, she went with a friend. – And which friend was that?	– 不, 亲爱的, 她和一个朋友去的. – 那朋友是谁?
[1:09:16]	– Daniel. – Oh.	– 丹尼尔. – 哦.
[1:09:18]	Would you like to come in and wait?	你要进来等她吗?
[1:09:20]	I can’t chat right now, Mrs. Baker. I’m sorry.	我现在先不聊了, 贝克太太. 不好意思.
[1:09:22]	I’m in love with your daughter. Kinda busy.	我爱上您女儿了. 有点忙.
[1:09:25]	Sorry ’bout your flowers.	你的花,不好意思了.
[1:09:34]	So just, you know, hearing about this beautiful, talented Lauren…	那么只是, 你知道, 听说这个漂亮能干的劳伦…
[1:09:39]	Lauren this, Lauren that, you know.	劳伦这个, 劳伦那个, 你知道.
[1:09:41]	And when Curtis called me down to meet you,	当柯蒂斯打电话过来让我去见你,
[1:09:44]	I just walked up, and I just…	我刚要走出去, 我…
[1:09:46]	In a million years, I would’ve never, you know, thought that it was you.	就算是想一千年, 我也绝不会想到, 你知道, 想到那会是你.
[1:09:53]	Lauren.	劳伦.
[1:09:56]	Lauren.	劳伦.
[1:09:58]	What?	什么?
[1:09:59]	Is everything okay?	你没事吧?
[1:10:01]	Yeah.	是的.
[1:10:02]	You know, we’re not doing anything wrong here.	你知道, 我们不是在这儿做错事.
[1:10:05]	No, no, I know.	不, 不, 我知道.
[1:10:08]	So what’re you thinking about?	那你在想什么?
[1:10:11]	Andy.	安迪.
[1:10:13]	Andy.	安迪.
[1:10:15]	He’s the one.	他就是那个对的人.
[1:10:19]	I mean, right now he’s sort of like a half.	我意思, 现在他有一半像.
[1:10:24]	But hopefully, in a few years, he’ll be a one.	不过希望几年以后, 他会完全像那个人.
[1:10:29]	You sure?	你确定?
[1:10:33]	So, I guess that means you’re not coming to Chicago?	那, 我猜这意味着你不去芝加哥了?
[1:10:37]	I guess not. I’m sorry.	我猜是. 对不起.
[1:10:43]	I hope I’m as lucky as Andy is some day.	我希望有天我能像安迪一样这么幸运.
[1:10:47]	I think you will be.	我想你会的.
[1:10:49]	You think?	你这么想的?
[1:10:50]	Yeah, definitely.	是, 肯定地.
[1:10:59]	Well, here’s to true love.	呃, 致真爱.
[1:11:01]	Even if you have doubts at first.	哪怕你开始有疑惑.
[1:11:13]	It’s Curtis.	是柯蒂斯.
[1:11:16]	So I guess I’m gonna go out there	那我猜我要出去
[1:11:18]	and tell him that you’re staying in L.A?	告诉他你会留在洛杉矶?
[1:11:25]	Oh, he’s not gonna be happy.	哦, 他不会高兴的.
[1:11:46]	Andy. What are you doing here?	安迪. 你在这儿干嘛?
[1:11:49]	Mmm, I love the bread.	嗯, 我喜欢这面包.
[1:11:51]	What are you doing here? You don’t love bread.	你在这儿干嘛? 你不爱吃面包的.
[1:11:53]	I’m just here with a friend.	我和个朋友在这儿.
[1:11:56]	What’s wrong?	怎么了?
[1:11:58]	– I hope I’m not interrupting. – No, of course not.	– 我希望我没有打扰到. – 不, 当然没有.
[1:12:00]	In fact, I’m actually really glad you’re here.	事实上, 我其实真的很高兴你在这儿.
[1:12:02]	Yeah, I’m really glad to be here, too. Now you can tell me the truth.	是的, 我也真的很高兴你在这儿. 现在你可以告诉我真相了.
[1:12:06]	Truth about what?	什么真相?
[1:12:07]	About Daniel, this prick you’re here with.	那个丹尼尔, 和你在一起的那个蠢货.
[1:12:10]	No, we’re not here together.	不, 我们没有在一起.
[1:12:12]	He’s just a family friend.	他只是个家庭朋友.
[1:12:14]	Oh. Now he’s a family friend. I thought he was a colleague.	哦. 现在他是家庭朋友了. 我还以为他是个同事.
[1:12:18]	Yeah, he’s both.	是的, 他两者对是.
[1:12:19]	He grew up a block away from my parents.	他从小就住在离我父母家不远的一个街区.
[1:12:20]	I’ve known him since I was 10.	我10岁就认识他了.
[1:12:22]	And last night he just happened to be in L.A,	昨晚他刚好在洛杉矶.
[1:12:25]	and tonight he just happens to be in Irvine?	今晚他也刚好在欧文?
[1:12:27]	Yes.	是.
[1:12:28]	Stop lying to me!	别再跟我撒谎了!
[1:12:29]	I’m not lying!	我没有撒谎!
[1:12:31]	How could you do this behind my back?	你怎么能背着我做这种事?
[1:12:32]	Have you slept with him already?	你已经跟他睡过了吗?
[1:12:35]	I’m not cheating on you.	我没有背叛你.
[1:12:37]	Will you be joining us for dinner tonight, sir?	今晚你会和我们一起晚餐吗,先生?
[1:12:39]	I’m sorry that I can’t satisfy you, okay?	我很抱歉我不能满足你, 好了吗?
[1:12:41]	I’m sorry that I’m so inadequate in bed	我很抱歉我在床上太不胜任以致于
[1:12:44]	that my wiener and all its shortcomings	你被我的小香肠和它所有的短处
[1:12:45]	have driven you to this huge boner that you’ve known since you were 10.	逼得投向这个你从10岁就认识的大屌怀里.
[1:12:48]	Just let me know if you change your mind.	如果你改变主意就告诉我.
[1:12:52]	Andy, you need to calm down right now.	安迪, 你需要冷静现在.
[1:12:54]	It’s never been about that.	根本不是这样的.
[1:12:56]	All right, fine, it doesn’t help, but…	好吧, 行, 这于事无补, 但…
[1:13:00]	It’s about you not being there for me emotionally.	问题是你情感上没有和我在一起.
[1:13:03]	I have always been there for you emotionally.	而我情感上总是和你在一起.
[1:13:07]	I live there emotionally, in a nice big house	我带着情感生活在那儿, 在一间漂亮大房子里
[1:13:09]	with rows of pretty flowers out front.	房前还有成排的漂亮的花.
[1:13:12]	You never even said you loved me.	你从没说过你爱我.
[1:13:14]	Oh, but Daniel will. He’ll probabIy tell you next week, right?	哦, 但丹尼尔会. 他可能下周就会对你说, 对吗?
[1:13:17]	And then you guys can go off and have babies,	然后你俩就能结合生小孩,
[1:13:19]	and you can send me e-mails and tell me all about your babies.	然后你会发邮件给我跟我聊你孩子的全部事情.
[1:13:21]	Well, guess what, Lauren?	嗯, 猜一猜, 劳伦
[1:13:22]	I don’t give a damn about you and your stupid babies.	我一点也不在乎你和你的蠢孩子.
[1:13:27]	You know what really gets me?	你知道真的让我难过的是什么?
[1:13:29]	I had no doubt you were the girl	我毫不怀疑你就是那个女生
[1:13:32]	I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.	那个我想与之共渡余生的女生.
[1:13:35]	And now I know you never were that girl.	现在我知道你不再是那个女生了.
[1:13:42]	Is that really how you feel?	这真的是你的感受?
[1:13:44]	Yeah.	对.
[1:13:51]	– Lauren? Lauren? – Oh.	– 劳伦? 劳伦? – 哦.
[1:13:53]	Hey, prickstain, take a walk?	嘿, 傻蛋, 出去走走?
[1:13:55]	– Lauren, you okay? – What’s it to you?	– 劳伦, 你好吗? – 这跟你有什么关系?
[1:13:57]	– Do you not hear me? – She’s my friend, Andy.	– 你没听到我说吗? – 她是我的朋友, 安迪.
[1:13:59]	And I don’t like to see her embarrassed in public.	我不想看到她当众难堪.
[1:14:01]	Daniel, will you please take me home?	丹尼尔, 你能送我回家吗?
[1:14:03]	Absolutely.	必须的.
[1:14:04]	Lauren, please, let me take you home.	劳伦, 请, 让我送你回家.
[1:14:07]	I’ll take you home. I’m sorry.	我送你回家. 对不起.
[1:14:09]	Good-bye, Andy.	再见, 安迪.
[1:14:21]	I’m busy.	我很忙.
[1:14:26]	Okay, enough with the knocking!	好了, 别再敲了!
[1:14:36]	Hi.	嗨.
[1:14:38]	Oh. How was the future?	哦. 未来如何?
[1:14:40]	You look like you slept under a donkey.	你看上去跟头驴睡过了一样.
[1:14:42]	Yeah, right after you kissed that donkey	对, 就在你亲那头驴
[1:14:45]	and its two donkey friends.	和它两个蠢驴朋友之后.
[1:14:47]	Can we come in?	我们能进来吗?
[1:14:50]	So, where were you last night?	那, 你昨晚在哪儿?
[1:14:53]	I went to Irvine.	我去了欧文.
[1:14:55]	What, to talk to Lauren?	什么, 找劳伦谈话?
[1:14:57]	Yeah, to see Lauren. Why do you ask?	对, 看劳伦去了. 你干嘛要问?
[1:15:00]	Wondering what method she used to try to change me?	想知道之前她用什么方法来改变我的吗?
[1:15:02]	Wow. Dude, that is so…	哇. 哥们儿, 这个太…
[1:15:10]	Okay.	好.
[1:15:14]	Okay.	好.
[1:15:18]	I’m sorry, Andy.	抱歉, 安迪.
[1:15:21]	I’m really sorry about that.	我对此很抱歉.
[1:15:23]	But I’ve been thinking a lot recently and…	但最近我一直在想并且…
[1:15:27]	I’ve realized, I’m not upset with Lauren, I’m upset with you.	我意识到,我不是生劳伦的气, 我是生你的气.
[1:15:31]	– Me? – Yeah, you.	– 我? – 对, 你.
[1:15:32]	Why are you mad at me?	你为什么要生我的气?
[1:15:33]	Because you’ve totally disappeared on me.	因为你彻底让我失望了.
[1:15:36]	We used to be best friends,	我们以前是最好的朋友,
[1:15:37]	and now I hardly even see you anymore.	但现在我几乎见不到你人了.
[1:15:40]	The only time you even talk to me is when you need help.	唯一一次你跟我说话还是要找我帮忙.
[1:15:43]	You see me.	你见得到我.
[1:15:45]	I mean, just because we don’t see each other all the time,	我意思, 正是因为我们不总是互相能见到.
[1:15:48]	that doesn’t mean we’re not friends.	但不意味着我们不是朋友了.
[1:15:52]	Whatever happens is gonna happen,	要发生的终归要发生,
[1:15:56]	but no matter what, I will always consider you a brother.	但不管怎样, 我永远当你是我的兄弟.
[1:16:02]	And not like a brother.	不仅仅是像兄弟.
[1:16:04]	– I mean, I do. I know what’s up. – Yes.	– 我意思, 我知道. 我知道怎么了. – 对.
[1:16:06]	Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what’s up.	是, 是, 是, 你知道是怎么了.
[1:16:10]	All right, brother, I’ll catch you later.	好了, 兄弟, 等会再聊.
[1:16:12]	Cool.	好.
[1:16:13]	I’II see you in the car.	车里见.
[1:17:12]	Lauren.	劳伦.
[1:17:17]	She here?	她在吗?
[1:17:18]	Nope.	不在.
[1:17:19]	– Where is she? – She’s gone, man.	– 她在哪儿? – 她走了.
[1:17:21]	– Gone? Gone where? – Listen, if Lauren didn’t tell you…	– 走了? 走去哪儿了? – 听着, 如果劳伦没有告诉你…
[1:17:24]	Then why the hell should we tell you, asshole?	那我们更不会告诉你,混蛋?
[1:17:25]	Why shouIdn’t we just punch you in the stomach!	我们干嘛不朝你肚子上给上一拳!
[1:17:28]	– Awesome. – I did it.	– 很好. – 我做了.
[1:17:30]	That was awesome.	好极了.
[1:17:33]	– That was awesome. – Because I Iove her, okay?	– 好极了. – 因为我爱她,好不好?
[1:17:36]	Paint it on a wall somewhere in big red letters.	用红色大字把这刷在墙上某处.
[1:17:39]	Please, I’m begging you.	拜托, 我求你了.
[1:17:43]	I can’t lose her.	我不能失去她.
[1:17:48]	I mean, she’s probably already at the airport, okay?	我意思, 她可能已经在机场了, 好不好?
[1:17:50]	She’s catching a flight to Chicago.	她正在赶飞往芝加哥的航班.
[1:17:52]	– Now? – No, in 45 minutes.	– 现在? – 不, 45分钟内.
[1:17:54]	She’s leaving out of Long Beach.	她正离开长滩.
[1:17:55]	I mean, you could’ve told me that you loved her.	我意思, 你早可告诉我你爱她.
[1:17:57]	I wouldn’t have punched you like that.	否则我就不会那样揍你了.
[1:18:43]	Excuse me, sir, you can’t park there.	对不起, 先生, 你不能停这儿.
[1:18:45]	Sir. Sir!	先生. 先生!
[1:18:50]	– I need a ticket. – Where to?	– 我需要一张机票. – 去哪儿的?
[1:18:52]	– Chicago. I need a ticket to Chicago. – Okay.	– 芝加哥. 我需要一张去芝加哥的机票. – 好的.
[1:18:55]	Um.	嗯.
[1:18:57]	Oh.	哦.
[1:19:01]	I’m sorry, there are no more flights to Chicago tonight.	对不起, 今晚没有到芝加哥的航班了.
[1:19:05]	Did one just leave?	是不是有一班刚飞走?
[1:19:07]	Yes, it took off about 10 minutes ago.	是的, 10分钟前起飞了.
[1:19:09]	So, it’s… it’s gone?	那, 它…它走了?
[1:19:11]	Well, it’s not here, so I would assume it’s in the air, sir.	呃, 飞机不在这儿, 所以我可以断定它在天上了, 先生.
[1:19:14]	– To Chicago? – Yes.	– 去芝加哥? – 是的.
[1:19:17]	With Danny.	与丹尼一起.
[1:19:18]	Excuse me?	什么?
[1:20:27]	I’m so sorry.	我非常抱歉.
[1:20:29]	You should be.	当然.
[1:20:31]	I have never wanted anything as much as I want this.	我从没像迫切需要这个一样要过任何东西.
[1:20:36]	If I had wings, I would have flown after that plane.	如果我有翅膀的话, 我会飞上天追那架飞机的.
[1:20:40]	You’re my whole life.	你是我的全部.
[1:20:43]	And I know that in the past I might have taken that for granted.	我知道过去我一直把这当作是理所当然的事.
[1:20:48]	But I don’t know what I would do without you.	但我不知道没有你我该怎么办.
[1:20:52]	Do you think that you could give me just one more chance?	你觉得你能再给我一次机会吗?
[1:20:57]	Just one more.	就一次.
[1:21:01]	I love you, Lauren.	我爱你, 劳伦.
[1:21:04]	I do. I really love you.	我真的爱你.
[1:21:08]	Andy, it’s too late.	安迪, 太晚了.
[1:21:11]	I’m sorry it took me so long.	对不起我花了这么长时间才说出来.
[1:21:14]	No, you don’t understand.	不, 你不明白.
[1:21:18]	It’s too late.	太晚了.
[1:21:20]	I don’t wanna be with Daniel.	我不想和丹尼尔在一起.
[1:21:22]	And I don’t wanna leave my family and my friends so far away,	我也不想离我的家庭和朋友这么远.
[1:21:25]	but, Andy, I realized something.	但, 安迪, 我悟到一些东西.
[1:21:29]	I deserve so much better than you.	我应得到比你好得多的男人.
[1:21:33]	Lauren, are you serious?	劳伦, 你是认真的吗?
[1:21:38]	You just never cared enough.	你从没有给予足够的关心.
[1:21:48]	Lauren.	劳伦.
[1:22:03]	Oh.	哦.
[1:22:27]	Andy, you asshole!	安迪, 你真混蛋!
[1:22:36]	I was just joking.	我只是在开玩笑.
[1:22:38]	Did I take it too far?	我开得过火了吗?
[1:22:40]	I’m never letting go of you. You’re not joking again, are you?	我绝不让你离开我了. 你不许再开玩笑了,好吗?
[1:22:44]	No.	好.
[1:22:46]	Good.	太好了.
[1:22:47]	Because that would be a terrible joke.	因为那是个很烂的笑话.
[1:22:49]	I don’t even know if it was funny the first time.	首先我甚至不觉得它有什么好笑的.
[1:22:50]	I can’t let you back in that easy, can I?	我不能这么轻易让你和好, 不是吗?
[1:22:54]	Absolutely not. I deserved it.	当然不是. 我应得的.
[1:22:59]	Lauren, I’m so sorry.	劳伦, 对不起.
[1:23:01]	I just got scared, and the thought of you leaving made me crazy.	我只是很害怕, 一想到你要离开我简直就要疯了.
[1:23:04]	I’m not leaving you.	我没有离开你.
[1:23:07]	Sometimes you can be a little slow, but I can handle that.	有时候你有点迟钝, 但我能处理好.
[1:23:12]	Sometimes I’m a little anxious.	有时我有点焦虑.
[1:23:14]	I need you. You’re the protector of my closet.	我需要你.你是我橱柜的守护神.
[1:23:19]	Say you’re not leaving me just one more time.	说你再也不会离开我了.
[1:23:23]	I love you, Andy. I’m not leaving you.	我爱你, 安迪. 我不会离开你.
[1:23:30]	But do you think I could ever learn how to take care of you?	但你觉得我究竟可不可以学会怎么去照顾你?
[1:23:34]	I mean, really take care of you?	我意思, 真的照顾你?
[1:23:36]	That depends. Where are you taking me tonight?	这要看了. 你今晚带我去哪儿?
[1:23:39]	How about we get in that cab?	我们上那辆出租车怎么样?
[1:23:42]	Oh, my God, it rained all the way into the cab.	哦, 上帝, 雨一直下到出租车里了.
[1:23:45]	And they took my car.	他们霸占了我的车.
[1:23:59]	I love you, Lauren.	我爱你, 劳伦.
[1:24:20]	The first time I slept with Lauren, I thought I was great,	第一次跟劳伦睡觉的时候, 我觉得自己很棒,
[1:24:23]	but I really wasn’t.	但我真的不是那样.
[1:24:26]	I mean, I wasn’t bad-bad,	我意思, 我非常差劲.
[1:24:29]	but I was more like, you know, a five.	我更像, 你知道, 是到五.
[1:24:34]	Um…	嗯…
[1:24:35]	Right?	对吗?
[1:24:36]	– Mmm, more like a three. – What?	– 嗯, 更像是到三. – 什么?
[1:24:41]	Okay, like three halves.	好吧, 像二分之三.
[1:24:44]	That’s one and a half. That’s even worse.	那是1.5了. 还更差.
[1:24:47]	Well, you got better. He got a lot better.	嗯, 你已经好多了. 他好很多了.
[1:24:49]	And now I’m like a 10.	那现在我像是到10了.
[1:24:51]	Okay. Let’s not get carried away.	好了. 我们还是不要得意忘形的好.
[1:24:54]	Okay. I can live with a 9.5. That’s cool.	好. 9.5我也能凑活. 太好了.
[1:25:06]	Not bad for garlic breath.	满口大蒜味儿不错.
[1:25:08]	Well, it was that or burp, and that’s sort of your thing.	呃, 不是这个就是饱嗝, 但那是你的专长.
[1:25:14]	Okay, so when we first started, maybe I wasn’t a perfect 10 either.	好了. 那我们刚开始的时候, 我或许也没到完美的10.
[1:25:18]	And what changed?	是什么改变了?
[1:25:22]	I found the diamond.	我找到那粒钻石了.
[1:25:32]	How to make love to a woman.	怎样和女人做爱.
[1:25:35]	Watch this.	看这个.
[1:25:38]	Hello?	哈罗?
[1:25:39]	Hey. Yeah…	嗨. 耶…
[1:25:40]	No, I told you, just come over, we’ll just spoon.	不, 我告诉你,你过来好了, 我们要来个汤匙式睡法（两人同向贴紧侧卧）.
[1:25:44]	Okay, see you tonight.	好, 晚上见.
[1:25:47]	Taking a deep breath, feeling good about yourself,	深呼吸, 让自己感到愉悦,
[1:25:50]	lube, some lesbians, and a cattle prod.	润滑液, 女同志和一根赶牛棒.
[1:25:53]	I keep my pants on.	我保持不脱裤.
[1:25:55]	You know, a lot of people wanna be naked.	你知道, 很多人喜欢裸体.
[1:25:59]	Just wear some clothes in case of fire. It’s about safety.	请穿点衣服以防着火. 这是安全所需.
[1:26:04]	You don’t wanna be making love naked,	你不想光着身子做爱,
[1:26:06]	house catches on fire,	万一房子着火,
[1:26:08]	you run outside and you get embarrassed.	你跑出外面会尴尬死的.
[1:26:10]	I’m wearing what I’m taking.	我穿我现在穿着的.
[1:26:12]	I like guys, so, I don’t know. Um…	我喜欢男人, 所以, 我不知道. 嗯…
[1:26:16]	How to make love to a woman?	怎样和女人做爱?
[1:26:18]	I think Oreo-cookie mouth,	我想奥利奥饼嘴,
[1:26:21]	don’t brush your teeth for a couple days.	几天不要刷牙.
[1:26:25]	Give it to her good.	好好跟她干一番.
[1:26:27]	Then no cuddling, no loving, just leave,	然后没有搂抱,没有爱抚, 只管走人,
[1:26:32]	because that’s what we want. Just leave.	因为那是我们要的. 只管走人.
[1:26:36]	I do a lot of shadow puppeting around that.	我围绕着它做很多皮影木偶动作.
[1:26:39]	And then I work my way down, and I just hit it.	然后我朝下进行, 只管打它.
[1:26:44]	You know, I just hit it. And I hit it.	你知道, 我只是管打它. 打它.
[1:26:46]	I have some martial-arts training. I just hit it.	我受过武术训练. 我只管打它.
[1:26:47]	They say if it lasts more than four hours,	人家说如果持续超过4个小时,
[1:26:49]	you gotta go to the hospital.	你就得去医院了.
[1:26:51]	Well, if I’m ever lucky enough for that to last four hours,	呃, 如果我可以这么幸运坚持做到四个小时,
[1:26:54]	I’m not going to no hospital.	我才不会去医院呢.
[1:26:56]	I’m gonna play that sucker right out.	我会马上提枪上阵.
[1:27:00]	I like to focus on putting the penis in the vagina.	我喜欢专注于把阴茎放入阴道.
[1:27:02]	I think that’s pretty key.	我认为这很关键.
[1:27:04]	Or several.	或一些.
[1:27:05]	Jesus.	上帝.
[1:27:07]	How to make love to a woman?	怎样跟女人做爱?
[1:27:11]	Ask Beau.	问波.
[1:27:13]	At the locker room, just champagne exploding,	在衣帽间, 香槟爆响,
[1:27:15]	taking off your clothes,	脱掉你的衣服,
[1:27:16]	just swatting everyone on the ass and just…	扇每个人的屁股和…
[1:27:20]	just a bunch of naked guys just really happy together.	一群裸体男人非常高兴在一起.
[1:27:26]	That’s how I make love to a woman.	那就是我怎么和女人做爱.
[1:27:28]	It should be very easy.	这应该非常容易.
[1:27:29]	You just jump on her and make love, simple love.	你只要跳上她身上做爱, 简单的爱.
[1:27:33]	Why is that difficult?	这有何难?
[1:27:45]	How to make love to a woman? A woman?	怎样和女人做爱? 一个女人?
[1:27:48]	Why are you asking me that?	你为什么问我这个?
[1:27:51]	Not if I live to be 100.	我活到100岁也不会.
[1:27:53]	Well, who knows.	呃, 谁知道.
[1:27:55]	Oh, my God. Lord have mercy.	哦, 我的上帝. 上帝慈悲为怀.
[1:27:56]	You know, fellas, meet her at the church and love her,	你知道, 伙计们, 和她在教堂见面然后去爱她,
[1:27:58]	and then bang that back out.	然后干到爆.
[1:28:00]	Bang, bang, bang! Right?	砰,砰,砰! 对吗?
[1:28:01]	You know all about black chocolate? You know all about it.	你知道黑巧克力吗? 你知道吧.
[1:28:04]	What do you think, girl? You fuck her, duh.	你怎么想? 你干她, 咄.
[1:28:07]	Or you could get her drunk.	或者灌醉她.
[1:28:09]	Do you know how many guys I’ve had sex with	你知道我酒醉后和多少
[1:28:10]	because I was drunk?	男人做过吗?
[1:28:12]	I would tell you, but I don’t remember.	我可以告诉你, 但我不记得了.
[1:28:14]	That time in college was a joke. I’ve never had sex with a woman.	在大学那次只是个笑话. 我从没有和女人做过.
[1:28:16]	They’re disgusting. They’re gross.	她们令人厌恶,令人恶心.
[1:28:20]	Then what you do is you flip her over,	你要做就是掀翻她,
[1:28:21]	you hit her from behind.	从后面攻击她.
[1:28:22]	There’s three ways to do it.	有三种方法去做.
[1:28:24]	Hard, fast, and anal.	硬的, 快的和爆菊.
[1:28:28]	You can do hard, fast, and anal, but then you gotta be a master.	你可以硬干, 快干和爆菊, 但之后你会成为专家.
[1:28:31]	Then you better be writing a book, and I’ll be buying that motherfucker.	之后你最好写本书, 我会买这狗日的书.
[1:28:34]	If that shit’s cheap. I don’t make too much money.	如果那书便宜. 我钱赚得少.
[1:28:36]	But if I did, I’d buy a whole set…	但我有钱的话, 我会买一整套…
[1:28:39]	“How to Butt-Fuck Your Girlfriend, Starring You.”	“怎样爆你女友的菊花, 由你主演.”
[1:28:42]	Like, bring a box of tissues, bring some Neosporin,	比如, 拿一盒纸巾, 拿一些药膏,
[1:28:46]	and have a good time.	然后玩得愉快.
[1:28:49]	Have a good time.	玩得愉快.
[1:30:28]	Look, guys, just admit it.	瞧, 伙计们, 承认吧.
[1:30:31]	You don’t know how to make love to a woman. Sorry.	你不知道怎样跟女人做爱. 对不起.
[1:30:35]	And you need to learn.	你得学习.
[1:30:37]	Or we will just find someone who can. Whoo!	要不我们会去找个会学习人. 喔!
[1:30:42]	I’m taking applications.	我要实际应用一下.
[1:30:45]	Wow. Hey.	喔, 嗨.
[1:30:49]	Oh, man.	哦, 老兄.
[1:30:50]	Hey, Curtis, could you maybe do that second thing,	嘿, 柯蒂斯, 你或许可以做那个第二件事,
[1:30:54]	tell me about that?	告诉我那个?
[1:30:55]	I might be a little woeful. I got woe.	我可能有点可悲. 我感到悲哀.
[1:30:57]	Yeah, if you could just start from the beginning,	是的, 如果你能从头开始,
[1:30:59]	’cause I wasn’t listening to that at all.	因为我根本就没那个.
[1:31:01]	– Yeah, let me get my love journal. – Oh, I’d be happy to.	– 耶, 让我拿上我的爱情日志. – 哦, 我很愿意.
[1:31:05]	You like that? You like that?	你喜欢这样? 你喜欢这样?
[1:31:07]	You start with that? I thought that was a closer.	你这样开始吗? 我还以为那是个闭合器.
[1:31:10]	Whoo!	呼!
[1:31:11]	That’s dangerous.	这很危险.

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