英文名称：Gulliver's Travels
年代：2010
推荐：千部英美剧台词本阅读
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [02:06] | Give me your press badge. | |
| [02:08] | No way, you’re not my dad! | |
| [02:10] | Then I shall take it by force. | |
| [02:12] | He’s my brother! | |
| [02:14] | Then you shouldn’t have made out with him. | |
| [03:06] | So, your name’s Dan? | |
| [03:08] | Yeah, Dan… Dan Quint. Like on the resume. | |
| [03:12] | Dan Quint. Born 1990. I didn’t think that was possible. | |
| [03:16] | Yeah, 1990. | |
| [03:17] | People are born every year. | |
| [03:20] | What do you hope to get out of being in the mailroom, Dan? | |
| [03:24] | I guess I hope to get out of being in the mailroom. | |
| [03:27] | You got sass. I like it. | |
| [03:30] | Guess what? You’re hired. | |
| [03:34] | I’m Lemuel Gulliver. Welcome to the team. | |
| [03:36] | I was hired… | |
| [03:38] | yesterday by HR. | |
| [03:40] | – Doggy wants a bone. – What? | |
| [03:42] | Doggy wants a bone. | |
| [03:45] | Floor 30. This is the editors’ floor. | |
| [03:47] | Oh, yeah. This is the epicenter, my friend. | |
| [03:49] | – Feel it. Feel it. – Okay. | |
| [03:51] | Got a little something for you. | |
| [03:53] | – God damn it! – Sorry about that. | |
| [03:55] | I will dry-clean that. Sorry about that. My bad. | |
| [03:59] | – Just wait out here. – What? | |
| [04:00] | One second. | |
| [04:05] | Here’s your mail, sir. | |
| [04:06] | Hey, you’re Harold Jones, right? | |
| [04:08] | Yeah. | |
| [04:09] | I loved your piece on the failure of derivative markets. | |
| [04:12] | Thanks very much. | |
| [04:13] | I look forward to seeing you around. | |
| [04:16] | from me and all the readers. | |
| [04:20] | Dan, what are you doing? You can’t talk to those guys! | |
| [04:23] | Why not? | |
| [04:24] | Okay, this is your first day. We are the mailroom guys. | |
| [04:27] | Mailroom guys are meant to be seen and not heard. | |
| [04:29] | And ideally, not even seen, okay? | |
| [04:32] | We’re not on their level. We’re little people. | |
| [04:33] | No, I think you’re just scared to talk to them. | |
| [04:36] | I am not! Dude, listen. I am just respectful of their workspace. | |
| [04:39] | I talk to these people all the… | |
| [04:49] | I’ll let you know as soon as I’ve made a decision, Nigel. | |
| [04:51] | Okey-dokey, thank you. Good day, fellas. | |
| [04:54] | – Good day. – Good day, mate. | |
| [04:55] | Gulliver, got any mail for me? | |
| [04:57] | Yeah… No… Maybe. | |
| [04:59] | Let me check. | |
| [05:01] | – Hi, I’m Dan, from the mailroom. – Hey. Darcy. | |
| [05:03] | And I’ll do whatever it takes to not be from the mailroom. | |
| [05:07] | Dan doesn’t need to be bothering her right now. She’s busy. | |
| [05:09] | He isn’t bothering me. | |
| [05:10] | I love to have a reason to procrastinate. | |
| [05:12] | Yeah, me, too. | |
| [05:14] | You’re not bugging me. There you go. | |
| [05:17] | Well, I’ll see you guys later. | |
| [05:18] | Good to see you. | |
| [05:20] | Oh, boy. Let’s go. | |
| [05:24] | So, how long have you had this debilitating crush on the travel editor? | |
| [05:28] | Crush? On Darcy? No way, dude. | |
| [05:30] | First of all, you’re a terrible liar. | |
| [05:31] | Second of all, why don’t you just ask her out? | |
| [05:34] | – You don’t think I could ask her out? – No. | |
| [05:36] | I could ask her out whenever, wherever. It’s no problem. | |
| [05:38] | It would take me five seconds. “Will you go out with me?” “Yes.” Done. | |
| [05:41] | I’m now going out with Darcy Silverman. We are boyfriend and girlfriend. | |
| [05:44] | “Gulliver and Darcy?” “Cutest couple ever.” | |
| [05:46] | Okay. So, then, do it. | |
| [05:50] | Next time I see her, I will. | |
| [05:51] | Hold on! Hi, again. | |
| [05:53] | Oh, hey, Darcy. | |
| [05:55] | I just remembered, I get claustrophobic in elevators. | |
| [06:06] | – How is your day going? – Really good. | |
| [06:08] | Just really, really, good. | |
| [06:10] | – What are you doing this weekend? – So much stuff. | |
| [06:12] | It’s just going to be… a bunch of stuff. | |
| [06:15] | – Cool. – Yeah, it’s cool. | |
| [06:23] | – Have a good one. – You, too. | |
| [06:29] | Wait! I forgot something. | |
| [06:32] | Yeah, me, too. | |
| [06:51] | You chickened out, didn’t you? | |
| [06:53] | I wasn’t… I just… You know… I didn’t chicken out. | |
| [06:58] | – Being respectful of her workspace. – Exactly. | |
| [07:01] | Speaking of which, after work… | |
| [07:03] | do you want to go for a couple of brews and shoot some poos? | |
| [07:06] | Maybe a little man-date. | |
| [07:08] | I don’t think so. Especially because you called it a man-date. | |
| [07:11] | I got you. You want a rain check. | |
| [07:13] | You want to wake up all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the boss. | |
| [07:17] | You’re not my boss anymore. | |
| [07:19] | What are you talking about? | |
| [07:21] | I just got promoted. | |
| [07:23] | That’s impossible. You just got here. | |
| [07:26] | Yeah, they promoted me… | |
| [07:29] | to head of the mailroom. | |
| [07:31] | So I’m your boss now. | |
| [07:35] | Look, Gulliver, the reason you didn’t ask her out and you never will… | |
| [07:40] | is the same reason that you’re not going to leave the mailroom. | |
| [07:43] | You’ve been here 10 years, man. | |
| [07:49] | You peaked. | |
| [07:51] | You talk a big game and that can be fun sometimes. | |
| [07:55] | And you’re pretty funny around the office, but that’s all you are. | |
| [07:58] | It’s just talk. | |
| [08:00] | So you might as well face it… | |
| [08:02] | you’re never really going to get any bigger than this. | |
| [08:08] | These talks. This is the worst part about being a boss. | |
| [08:12] | Anyway, be in tomorrow at 7:00. | |
| [08:15] | We’re going to sort of change things up… | |
| [08:17] | and we’re gonna start with getting rid of “Guitar Hero” during work hours. | |
| [08:31] | Night, Darcy. | |
| [08:33] | See you. | |
| [08:50] | Gulliver? | |
| [08:56] | Can I help you? | |
| [09:01] | I wanted to see… | |
| [09:05] | if you wanted to… | |
| [09:10] | You seem a little nervous. Are you all right? | |
| [09:12] | No, I’m fine. I’m just… | |
| [09:15] | I got so much going on. | |
| [09:16] | I wanted to pick this up, and then I’m on my way. | |
| [09:18] | You want to apply for a travel writing assignment? | |
| [09:24] | Yeah. Exactly. | |
| [09:26] | I had no idea you wrote or traveled. | |
| [09:28] | I do. I travel a lot. I go to New Zealand. | |
| [09:35] | in the locals. | |
| [09:37] | Africa, the Congo. | |
| [09:38] | Which I know is in Africa because I travel and write. | |
| [09:43] | So this is kind of what I want to do. | |
| [09:45] | Why don’t you bring in a writing sample tomorrow and I’ll see what I can do. | |
| [09:49] | Perfect. | |
| [09:54] | Hey, Gulliver. | |
| [09:56] | Nice job putting yourself out there. | |
| [09:58] | Yeah, cool. | |
| [10:19] | I should’ve just manned up and asked her out. | |
| [10:21] | Now she’s expecting a writing sample? What was I thinking? | |
| [10:24] | I saw some things In different lands | |
| [10:34] | Karate chop… I gotta write this thing! | |
| [10:37] | No, I got nothing. | |
| [11:11] | I am so impressed, Gulliver. | |
| [11:13] | I had no idea you were such a good writer. | |
| [11:15] | I kind of keep it secret. I don’t like to brag about my more literarian side. | |
| [11:20] | These samples are terrific. | |
| [11:21] | And you exhibit such variety. | |
| [11:24] | This one about Oaxaca feels really classic, like it came straight out of Frommer’s… | |
| [11:28] | whereas the description of Barcelona is all… | |
| [11:31] | sassy. | |
| [11:33] | It’s like I’m reading Time Out. | |
| [11:37] | I think I have the perfect fluff piece to start you off with. | |
| [11:40] | There’s a guy down in Bermuda who claims he has the secret to the Bermuda Triangle. | |
| [11:43] | He’s either crazy or he’s trying to bilk tourists. But I figure… | |
| [11:46] | it could be a fun way in… | |
| [11:49] | to explore Bermuda and the smaller islands around it. | |
| [11:52] | You do have boat experience, don’t you? | |
| [11:53] | I’m a… boat… man. | |
| [11:57] | I’m a boatman. | |
| [11:58] | Okay, good… | |
| [12:00] | because I have to be honest, it was hard to find someone to do this. | |
| [12:03] | You have to be at sea for three weeks, completely off the grid. | |
| [12:06] | That’s okay with you, right? | |
| [12:08] | Good, because I thought… | |
| [12:09] | I was going to have to do it and I get super seasick. It’s crazy. | |
| [12:14] | So, what do you say? | |
| [12:15] | It’s not a big story, but it’s a start. | |
| [12:22] | So, the Bermuda Triangle, huh? | |
| [12:24] | Everything I need to know is in here? | |
| [12:26] | It is. Your contact’s been arranged… | |
| [12:28] | and there’s a boat waiting for you. | |
| [12:51] | That’s me! | |
| [12:53] | Okay, precious cargo! No, no, no! | |
| [12:57] | That was close. | |
| [13:00] | All you chickens, get out of the road, man! | |
| [13:04] | I don’t know about this, Hank. | |
| [13:05] | I mean, are you sure this is safe? | |
| [13:08] | All this Bermuda Triangle talk is just to sell T-shirts to tourists. | |
| [13:11] | It makes for good stories… | |
| [13:13] | if you want to skeet-skeet with the girls on the mainland. | |
| [13:16] | This is your boat. | |
| [13:18] | Knotfersail. | |
| [13:19] | They really went pun-tastic on that boat. | |
| [13:21] | The dock master’s really into puns. | |
| [13:23] | He believes it keeps the pirates away. | |
| [13:26] | Ship Happens. | |
| [13:28] | This is you, and the dot is your destination. | |
| [13:31] | You just follow that dot, and you’ll find yourself in a triangle. | |
| [13:34] | – In the Bermuda Triangle? – Yeah. | |
| [13:35] | And then to come home, you say I turn this knob… | |
| [13:37] | and I follow the dot back home? | |
| [13:39] | Yeah, yes. | |
| [13:41] | – Easy. – Easy. | |
| [13:42] | – Done. – Done. | |
| [13:43] | – All right. – I’ve got it. | |
| [13:47] | I’m fine. | |
| [13:49] | Fine. | |
| [13:51] | It’s not moving. Okay, where’s the clutch? | |
| [14:01] | And as you go out to the ocean water… | |
| [14:04] | towards the Bermuda Triangle… | |
| [14:07] | there’s reflections everywhere. I should’ve brought some sunglasses. | |
| [14:11] | I am as hungry as a horse. | |
| [14:14] | I could eat 1,000 cheeseburgers. | |
| [14:17] | Quitting time. | |
| [14:27] | How to build your own robot? | |
| [14:29] | Yeah, that’s going to happen. | |
| [14:54] | Darcy. | |
| [14:58] | Cheeseburger. | |
| [15:01] | Darcy. | |
| [15:05] | Cheeseburger. | |
| [15:30] | No! | |
| [15:41] | Safety! Okay. | |
| [15:43] | Rubber ducky. | |
| [15:44] | No! | |
| [15:45] | Floaties! Floatie one. | |
| [15:51] | I am safe! | |
| [16:35] | I’m paralyzed from the neck down. | |
| [16:37] | What’s that crawling on me? | |
| [16:40] | Not fire ants. Please don’t be fire ants. | |
| [16:45] | I am General Edward Edwardian, Commander of Lilliput. | |
| [16:49] | All hail Lilliput! | |
| [16:52] | You are herewith charged with aiding our sworn enemy, the Blefuscians. | |
| [16:58] | You are my prisoner, and shall be presented to our Royal Highness, King Theodore. | |
| [17:02] | What say you… | |
| [17:04] | beast? | |
| [17:27] | You are not real! Where is my…? | |
| [17:29] | Where am I? | |
| [17:30] | This must be a dream. | |
| [17:32] | I’m gonna close my eyes, then I’m gonna open them, and I’ll be home in bed. | |
| [17:39] | My spear! | |
| [17:44] | Bring the beast down! | |
| [17:46] | All right, boys! Release the hookers. | |
| [17:49] | Pull, pull! | |
| [17:53] | Pull! | |
| [17:54] | Hey, not cool. | |
| [17:56] | Hey, that’s my pants. That’s not funny! | |
| [18:05] | Unlucky. | |
| [18:18] | Heave! | |
| [18:22] | Heave! | |
| [18:24] | It was awful, horrid! Nightmarish! | |
| [18:27] | I was trapped in the valley of violent rumbles. | |
| [18:29] | I was nauseous! | |
| [19:09] | Lift! | |
| [19:13] | Squad, halt! | |
| [19:16] | This giant is hereby declared… | |
| [19:17] | the property of His Majesty King Theodore. | |
| [19:21] | All hail King Theodore! | |
| [19:32] | I wanted a bracelet, not a great big hairy beast. | |
| [19:39] | Oh, dear! Are those restraints really necessary? | |
| [19:43] | They are, my innocent, naive little bunny tail. | |
| [19:46] | To prevent the giant beast from running rampant and killing us all. | |
| [19:49] | What is this thing? | |
| [19:50] | A Blefuscian spy. | |
| [19:52] | I’m not a blue fish man. I don’t even know what that is. | |
| [19:55] | Will someone please just tell me where I am? | |
| [19:57] | You are in Lilliput. | |
| [19:59] | Lilli-puh? | |
| [20:00] | The grandest and greatest land in all the world. All hail Lilliput! | |
| [20:05] | All hail Lilliput! | |
| [20:06] | This is insane. This is insane. | |
| [20:09] | Okay, enough. Come out with the funny cameras. | |
| [20:31] | Mealtime, beast! | |
| [20:38] | Hay? I can’t eat hay. | |
| [20:40] | Eat up! You have a busy day ahead of you, beast! | |
| [20:43] | Enough with the beast! | |
| [20:45] | I may be a giant, but I have feelings! | |
| [20:50] | I think you’ll find that the hay… | |
| [20:52] | is a bit more digestible… | |
| [20:54] | if mixed with some sewer water. | |
| [20:58] | I’m sorry that my countrymen call you a beast. | |
| [21:01] | I do not think of you as a beast. | |
| [21:03] | As a matter of fact, before you arrived… | |
| [21:06] | I was the tallest man in Lilliput. | |
| [21:09] | So I know how you feel. | |
| [21:10] | Thanks, man. | |
| [21:16] | I can’t reach you for a handshake. I’m Gulliver. | |
| [21:20] | Horatio. | |
| [21:24] | You guys are so tiny. | |
| [21:25] | Are you the only other prisoner in the whole dungeon? | |
| [21:29] | I have been placed in this prison by the great and glorious… | |
| [21:32] | General Edward Edwardian… | |
| [21:33] | for sending a lascivious look to his betrothed… | |
| [21:36] | Princess Mary. | |
| [21:38] | That’s it? | |
| [21:39] | He put you in prison for hitting on his lady? | |
| [21:42] | Dude, that is harsh. | |
| [21:44] | No, you must understand. I am of a lowly station. | |
| [21:47] | To legally court a woman of her stature… | |
| [21:50] | one must commit a valiant action… | |
| [21:52] | and this is virtually impossible as a commoner. | |
| [21:55] | Come on, don’t be so hard on yourself. You seem like a cool guy. | |
| [21:58] | You could do something valiant. | |
| [22:00] | General Edward has led countless crusades… | |
| [22:02] | and is known far and wide for his bravery. | |
| [22:05] | I’m no General Edward. | |
| [22:07] | Well, no offense… | |
| [22:09] | this Edward guy seems like kind of a lame ass. | |
| [22:12] | A lame what? | |
| [22:15] | It is my impression… | |
| [22:17] | that “lame ass”… | |
| [22:19] | is a negative expression from whence you came. | |
| [22:21] | If this is the case… | |
| [22:22] | you shall be thrown in the stocks! | |
| [22:25] | No, no, no! “Lame ass” means… | |
| [22:28] | great… | |
| [22:29] | brave and courageous… | |
| [22:32] | heart-of-a-lion man. | |
| [22:33] | Is this the honorable truth? | |
| [22:35] | Yes, this is the honorable truth. | |
| [22:38] | Then, I am not just… | |
| [22:39] | a lame ass. | |
| [22:41] | Oh, no. | |
| [22:43] | I’m a big lame ass! | |
| [22:44] | The biggest! | |
| [22:45] | I, General Edward Edwardian, am the biggest lame ass in all of the land! | |
| [22:48] | Heart of a lion. | |
| [22:49] | Hurrah! | |
| [22:50] | So, listen… | |
| [22:51] | now that you know we’re cool… | |
| [22:54] | what do you say you loosen up these shackles a bit? | |
| [22:58] | No. | |
| [22:59] | It is time for your life of hard labor to begin. | |
| [23:03] | Left! | |
| [23:05] | Forward! | |
| [23:07] | Left! | |
| [23:09] | Right! | |
| [23:10] | Left! | |
| [23:21] | Their defense system is operational. | |
| [23:23] | We must move in stealthily. | |
| [23:31] | Left! | |
| [23:34] | – Did I tell you to stop fanning, peasant? – Sorry. | |
| [23:37] | Sorry. | |
| [23:43] | They will be too busy with the fire to protect their princess. | |
| [23:54] | A fire! | |
| [23:55] | A fire is two bells, that was three. It’s an attack! | |
| [23:57] | No, it actually sounded more like… | |
| [23:59] | two bells, and then, a pause… | |
| [24:01] | and then a third bell. | |
| [24:02] | So, it’s an attack and a fire? | |
| [24:04] | – The Blefuscians! – The princess! | |
| [24:06] | To the castle, beast! | |
| [24:08] | Left, right, left, right. | |
| [24:11] | Faster, beast! | |
| [24:20] | Oh, no. The Blefuscians. | |
| [24:22] | Do not kidnap me. | |
| [24:24] | Please do not kidnap me. | |
| [24:26] | Why is she just standing there? | |
| [24:27] | Of course, she’s gonna get kidnapped if she… | |
| [24:29] | You speak not of the princess. Down! | |
| [24:34] | I shall save you, my princess. | |
| [24:37] | My princess. | |
| [24:43] | Dude, I can help. | |
| [24:44] | We do not need your help, beast. You just stay here. | |
| [24:49] | Nobody save the princess! | |
| [24:51] | He’ll never get to her in time. Please, you must save the princess. | |
| [24:55] | But you heard that angry little dingleberry. He said I shouldn’t. | |
| [24:58] | I beg of you! | |
| [25:07] | – It is too late. – You are kidnapped. | |
| [25:08] | I am kidnapped! | |
| [25:10] | Not on my watch. | |
| [25:21] | Hop on, princess. Let’s get you out of here. | |
| [25:27] | Fear not, my darling! I am here to save you. | |
| [25:31] | Where has she gone? | |
| [25:33] | Oh, she has been kidnapped. | |
| [25:38] | There you go, Princess. | |
| [25:39] | Thank you so much. | |
| [25:41] | Are you okay? | |
| [25:43] | Yes. | |
| [25:45] | Thank God. | |
| [25:50] | The Blefuscians are retreating. | |
| [25:52] | We are to have a victory feast. | |
| [25:54] | How lovely. | |
| [25:56] | The fire has raged out of control. | |
| [25:57] | My father is trapped! | |
| [25:59] | You guys have to invest in a more efficient warning system. | |
| [26:03] | Your Highness! | |
| [26:08] | Out of the way. I have to put out a fire. | |
| [26:10] | Out of the way. | |
| [26:11] | I’m coming through! | |
| [26:15] | The beast! | |
| [26:19] | Yama-schatzi, that’s hot! | |
| [26:21] | Princess, no! | |
| [26:24] | Princess, you mustn’t. | |
| [26:25] | Father! He’s burning! | |
| [26:27] | You have served me with great honor. | |
| [26:30] | We need access to a great deal of water. | |
| [26:32] | Do something! | |
| [26:33] | Oh, Lilliput, great kingdom… | |
| [26:38] | I do not wanna do this. | |
| [26:40] | You have a plan? | |
| [26:41] | I have a plan, but you’re not gonna like it. | |
| [26:47] | Don’t look. | |
| [26:57] | Cease, beast! | |
| [26:59] | – It’s working! – Huzzah! | |
| [27:01] | Yeah, it’s working! | |
| [27:03] | Out of my way! | |
| [27:04] | How dare you evacuate yourself… | |
| [27:06] | on our great and glorious king! | |
| [27:14] | Sorry about the smell. I’ve been drinking sewer water. | |
| [27:17] | This is grounds for execution! | |
| [27:19] | I know, that was pretty gross. | |
| [27:21] | Let me pull up my trousers. | |
| [27:23] | Father! | |
| [27:25] | Father! | |
| [27:27] | You look glorious. | |
| [27:32] | Thank you, my dear. | |
| [27:44] | Our savior! | |
| [27:46] | The beast! | |
| [27:48] | Beast! Beast! Beast! | |
| [27:52] | You guys, it was nothing, really. | |
| [27:54] | I saw a fire… | |
| [27:56] | I had some water, I released! | |
| [27:58] | Flood on aisle two. | |
| [28:00] | Does that translate here? Is that a joke here? | |
| [28:03] | Flood on aisle two? | |
| [28:06] | Thanks, you guys. | |
| [28:14] | The king requests the honor of your company… | |
| [28:17] | at a banquet this evening. Do you accept? | |
| [28:20] | Yeah. | |
| [28:21] | On one condition. | |
| [28:23] | You free my friend, Horatio, and allow me to bring him as my plus one. | |
| [28:26] | He is jailed for… unlawful courting. He must return. | |
| [28:31] | That’s my condish! | |
| [28:34] | One moment, if you will. | |
| [28:39] | Why are you doing this for me? | |
| [28:41] | Because you’re my buddy. I’m not gonna go to this thing without you. | |
| [28:44] | I’m not gonna know anybody there. You have to come. | |
| [28:47] | Play it cool. | |
| [28:50] | The king requests the honor of your… | |
| [28:53] | and Horatio the Glovier’s company at a royal banquet this evening. Do you accept? | |
| [28:58] | Yes, indeed. | |
| [29:00] | I can make it. | |
| [29:07] | I’m forever indebted to you. | |
| [29:08] | It’s not necessary. Instead, let’s just do this. | |
| [29:12] | What is that? | |
| [29:13] | You pound it with your fist! | |
| [29:16] | Come on, don’t leave me hanging. | |
| [29:20] | Now let’s go party! | |
| [29:33] | Is anyone gonna… | |
| [29:36] | I’m just gonna go ahead and get this. | |
| [29:52] | So, since you’re not… | |
| [29:53] | from Blefuscia… | |
| [29:56] | where are you from… | |
| [29:58] | beast? | |
| [30:00] | Once again, totally cool to be just called Gulliver. | |
| [30:03] | Some people believe you’ve come from the Island Where We Dare Not Go. | |
| [30:09] | Is there any truth to this rumor? | |
| [30:10] | No. Where’s the Island Where We Dare Not Go? | |
| [30:15] | There… | |
| [30:17] | beyond the fog bank. | |
| [30:18] | I didn’t come through a fog bank. | |
| [30:20] | I’m from the island of Manhattan… | |
| [30:22] | between the islands of… | |
| [30:23] | Staten and Long. | |
| [30:26] | This island of Manhattan, what sort of kingdom is it? | |
| [30:29] | I’m not from a kingdom. I’m actually from a democracy. | |
| [30:34] | You see, we elect a president every four years. | |
| [30:37] | You are so honorable… | |
| [30:38] | and courageous. | |
| [30:40] | Were you the president? | |
| [30:42] | Of course, he was, Mother. Look at him. | |
| [30:45] | He is the most powerful gentleman in all the land. | |
| [30:47] | I’m so sorry if Mother embarrassed you. | |
| [30:49] | No, it’s a common mistake to not think I was president. | |
| [30:53] | Were you a victorious president? | |
| [30:55] | Yeah. I was pretty victorious. | |
| [30:57] | Noble, as well? | |
| [30:59] | Yeah, I was super noble. | |
| [31:03] | I was actually known as “President the Awesome.” | |
| [31:07] | “President the Awesome.” | |
| [31:11] | Pretty unlikely title. | |
| [31:13] | When do you return home, noble and awesome Gulliver? | |
| [31:17] | Pretty soon, I suppose. Yes? | |
| [31:20] | I should imagine they’re falling apart without you… | |
| [31:22] | their greatest hero. | |
| [31:25] | Without my boat, looks like I’m stuck here. | |
| [31:29] | Don’t worry. My army will find your boat. | |
| [31:32] | In the meantime, we could find you accommodations. | |
| [31:34] | Like some hay to sleep on? | |
| [31:35] | – Anything. – Anything? | |
| [31:37] | We are the finest builders in all the land. We can build you anything. | |
| [31:40] | Seriously, we are ridiculously good builders. | |
| [31:44] | And we are your servants, awesome Gulliver. | |
| [31:46] | I don’t wanna take advantage, but… | |
| [32:00] | It’s day seven of my stay here in Lilliput. | |
| [32:03] | At first, me and the little guys got off on the wrong foot… | |
| [32:06] | but turns out they’re a pretty solid group of dudes. | |
| [32:09] | They’re building me a temporary place to live. | |
| [32:12] | They threw me an awesome party just for releasing myself… | |
| [32:16] | and the king sent out a search party to find my boat. | |
| [32:19] | In the meantime… | |
| [32:21] | I’m roughing it. | |
| [32:29] | That is a good cup of joe. | |
| [32:33] | Good morning! | |
| [32:34] | Morning, Gulliver. | |
| [32:35] | – Morning! – Morning! | |
| [32:37] | Top of the morning to you, fellas. | |
| [32:52] | Gulliver… | |
| [32:53] | your media room is ready. | |
| [32:57] | Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father. | |
| [33:00] | He told me enough. He told me… | |
| [33:02] | you killed him! | |
| [33:04] | No, Gulliver. | |
| [33:05] | I am your father. | |
| [33:08] | No way. | |
| [33:09] | This is an impossibility! | |
| [33:11] | Yet somehow, it seems completely inevitable. | |
| [33:13] | Gulliver, you truly have lived a thousand lives. | |
| [33:17] | King Theodore, it is time to perform our bi-weekly military exercises. | |
| [33:20] | Just one moment. We’re watching the stories… | |
| [33:24] | of Gulliver’s life. | |
| [33:26] | We have not missed a military exercise in over three hundred years. | |
| [33:28] | Dude! | |
| [33:29] | Get out of the way. We cannot see the screen! | |
| [33:32] | Move! Move! | |
| [33:35] | The Titanic is sinking! | |
| [33:37] | But it was meant to be unsinkable. | |
| [33:42] | I love you, Gulliver. | |
| [33:43] | No, don’t do that. | |
| [33:45] | You’re gonna make lots of babies… | |
| [33:47] | and die in a warm bed in old age. | |
| [33:53] | I’m cold. | |
| [33:55] | And also… | |
| [33:58] | I’m king of the world! | |
| [34:01] | Oh, Gulliver. | |
| [34:06] | Bravo! | |
| [34:08] | Encore! | |
| [34:09] | Wait! | |
| [34:11] | I’m sorry. | |
| [34:13] | You mean to say that you actually died in this shipwreck? | |
| [34:16] | Yeah, I died. | |
| [34:17] | You actually died. | |
| [34:18] | But I was resuscitated. | |
| [34:20] | It’s preposterous. | |
| [34:21] | No, but then I survived. | |
| [34:23] | It’s ridiculous. | |
| [34:24] | – You have to see the seq… – But you’re okay now! | |
| [34:26] | It’s silly. | |
| [34:28] | Just silly, silly stories. | |
| [34:33] | So, let me get this straight. | |
| [34:35] | After you were brought back to life as an avatar… | |
| [34:37] | that’s when you met your princess, Darcy Silverman of Manhattan? | |
| [34:41] | Yeah. Can’t wait to get back to her. | |
| [34:43] | I noticed you had a little eye contact with the princess. | |
| [34:46] | – How is it going? – Good, yeah! | |
| [34:48] | I think if things go well, within two to four years… | |
| [34:50] | she may deign to speak to me. | |
| [34:53] | Hold your horses. | |
| [34:55] | Thank God. | |
| [34:56] | Now, you can’t woo a lady by hoping she’ll deign… | |
| [34:59] | to speak to you. | |
| [35:01] | To land a princess, you got to employ some grade-A court-age. | |
| [35:05] | Could you teach me? | |
| [35:08] | This court-age that you speak. | |
| [35:13] | Yeah, I could teach you some of my moves. | |
| [35:17] | If you beat me back home. | |
| [35:19] | – I need a head start. – On you mark, get set, go! | |
| [35:21] | I’m not ready to race you! | |
| [35:34] | Princess! Oh, Princess! | |
| [35:37] | Wherefore art thou, Princess? | |
| [35:40] | Hello! Who calls? | |
| [35:42] | It is I, Horatio. | |
| [35:43] | Why are you so far away? | |
| [35:45] | I don’t want to invoke the ire of thy father. | |
| [35:48] | But I must be honest… | |
| [35:50] | And tell ye… | |
| [35:53] | Tell me what, Horatio? | |
| [35:57] | You don’t have to be rich to be my girl. | |
| [36:02] | Say it! | |
| [36:04] | You don’t have to be rich to be my girl. | |
| [36:07] | You don’t have to be cool to rule my world. | |
| [36:09] | You don’t have to be cool to rule my world. | |
| [36:13] | Horatio, these passionate words could get us into trouble. | |
| [36:16] | There’s no particular sign I’m more compatible with. | |
| [36:18] | There’s no particular sign that I’m more compatible with. | |
| [36:22] | I just want your extra time and your… | |
| [36:28] | …kiss. | |
| [36:32] | Kiss. | |
| [36:33] | What beauty emanates from your lips! | |
| [36:36] | Think I’m gonna dance now. | |
| [36:41] | I think I’d better dance now. | |
| [36:42] | Think I’m gonna dance now! | |
| [36:49] | Put more mustard on it, baby. | |
| [36:57] | I don’t think it’s working. | |
| [36:59] | You’re not dancing good. Shake it! | |
| [37:04] | I’ve never been wooed with such unique passion. | |
| [37:09] | It’s working! | |
| [37:12] | Did I tell you? | |
| [37:16] | I hear someone coming! Till the morrow. | |
| [37:21] | It worked! I did it! | |
| [37:25] | Let’s go. | |
| [37:27] | Yes! | |
| [37:29] | To whom were you speaking, my darling? | |
| [37:34] | No one. | |
| [37:35] | Me. I was… I was speaking to me. | |
| [37:38] | Myself. | |
| [37:39] | What are you doing in my chambers? | |
| [37:41] | I have come to court you… | |
| [37:42] | as I always do… | |
| [37:44] | at this time of day. | |
| [37:46] | Or have you already forgotten who is your one true eternal love? | |
| [37:50] | No, no. Of course, I remember. | |
| [37:55] | Remember what? | |
| [37:58] | That you are my one true… | |
| [38:00] | eternal love. | |
| [38:01] | It’s just that I was talking… | |
| [38:03] | with the giant and lost track of time. | |
| [38:05] | I trust not this beast. | |
| [38:07] | Seems trustworthy to me. | |
| [38:09] | – He’s very nice. – You’ve done sewing. | |
| [38:11] | Sewing. Yes. | |
| [38:13] | An embroidery. | |
| [38:14] | It’s my grandmother’s doily and I’m trying to present… | |
| [38:17] | I captured a hawk today. | |
| [38:21] | He lay in a field. I came behind him and captured him with my bare hand. | |
| [38:28] | This is impressive, also. | |
| [38:34] | Fun. | |
| [38:36] | Fun courtship… | |
| [38:38] | you and I have. | |
| [38:40] | It is over now. | |
| [38:42] | Must go. | |
| [38:44] | Those villagers shan’t pillage themselves. | |
| [39:00] | We must alert General Edward of this at once. | |
| [39:03] | We’ve found it. | |
| [39:07] | I hear you, ring-a-ling-a-ding-dong. | |
| [39:09] | Okay, I’m coming… Hey, how’s it going? | |
| [39:12] | Hello, beast! | |
| [39:14] | I come bearing the most terrific news! | |
| [39:16] | Yeah? Really? | |
| [39:18] | We have discovered your ship. | |
| [39:20] | The Knotfersail. | |
| [39:23] | Clever name. | |
| [39:25] | You did it! | |
| [39:27] | You found my boat. I’m actually going home. | |
| [39:31] | Hey, you guys can fix this thing, right? | |
| [39:33] | Of course, you can. You’re incredibly awesome builders. | |
| [39:36] | Yes! | |
| [39:40] | Darcy is about to read the best article ever. | |
| [39:44] | I’m talking Pulitzer. | |
| [39:47] | “Slide to unlock.” | |
| [39:51] | What are you guys doing? | |
| [39:54] | Is that my phone? Man, it takes a lickin’. | |
| [39:57] | No signal, but I got 12 messages. | |
| [39:59] | Mr. Popularity. | |
| [40:01] | Hey, Gulliver. It’s me. It’s Darcy. | |
| [40:04] | I just realized why I felt like your writing came straight… | |
| [40:08] | out of Frommer’s. Because it does! Call me as soon as you get this. | |
| [40:12] | Sergeant Peacock, what’s it doing? | |
| [40:14] | He’s checking his voicemail, General Edward. | |
| [40:17] | What’s voicemail? | |
| [40:18] | Hey, Lemuel! It’s Darcy. I’ve totally forgiven you. | |
| [40:22] | Wait! No, I haven’t… | |
| [40:23] | because now I have to get seasick on a boat to cover your butt! | |
| [40:26] | Thanks for this. | |
| [40:28] | And if you can’t tell, that “thanks” was sarcastic. | |
| [40:31] | Darcy, again. | |
| [40:33] | I can’t believe you lied to me. I trusted you. | |
| [40:37] | Wherever you’re hiding, stay there. | |
| [40:40] | I never want to hear from you again. | |
| [40:45] | Mr. Beast… | |
| [40:47] | I’ve instructed our builders… | |
| [40:49] | to work day and night to ensure you are seaworthy by week’s end. | |
| [40:54] | Isn’t that just the most fantastical news you’ve ever received in your life? | |
| [40:58] | Great. | |
| [40:59] | I can’t tell you how happy I am… | |
| [41:02] | for you. | |
| [41:13] | Why do you look so forlorn, noble protector? | |
| [41:16] | Me? Forlorn? No way. | |
| [41:19] | You do look quite forlorn. | |
| [41:21] | Just for the record, what’s “forlorn” mean, again? Is it “sad”? | |
| [41:25] | Basically, it’s just a bit more dramatic-sounding. | |
| [41:27] | Yeah, well, in that case, I guess I am a little forlorn. | |
| [41:31] | Oh, Gulliver… | |
| [41:32] | you miss your princess. | |
| [41:37] | The truth is, we’re not super close. | |
| [41:40] | Oh, Gulliver. | |
| [41:42] | She’s kind of mad at me right now. | |
| [41:45] | I am forlorn as well. | |
| [41:48] | I don’t know what to do. | |
| [41:51] | I think I’m in love with Horatio. | |
| [41:53] | But that’s great! Don’t be forlorn about that. | |
| [41:57] | Most people spend their lives looking for that and don’t find it. | |
| [42:00] | Go for it! Follow your heart. | |
| [42:02] | But my heart is promised to General Edward. | |
| [42:04] | And I cannot break that vow. He will lose honor and respect. | |
| [42:08] | And he will die of heartbreak. | |
| [42:09] | Okay. Look, he’s just being melodramatic. | |
| [42:13] | – Is he? – Yeah. | |
| [42:16] | Gulliver, I will miss you so much. | |
| [42:18] | I’m gonna miss you, too. | |
| [42:22] | Maybe I should stay. | |
| [42:23] | Don’t you miss your subjects? | |
| [42:25] | And the White House? | |
| [42:27] | And the Millennium Falcon? | |
| [42:29] | Yeah. | |
| [42:30] | But Vice President Yoda can run things without me for a while. | |
| [42:35] | Do you think the king would mind if I stuck around for a bit? | |
| [42:38] | Well, of course not, Gulliver. | |
| [42:41] | You’ve made everyone here so happy. | |
| [42:44] | I can’t imagine anyone in Lilliput not wanting you to stay as long as possible. | |
| [42:48] | Noble and valiant King Theodore. | |
| [42:51] | I trust-eth not this beast, Gulliver who lives-t in our midst-ith-ith. | |
| [42:55] | He can now leave-th but he chooses to stay. And furthermore… | |
| [42:59] | I do not believe it who he say-eth he is-eth. | |
| [43:02] | I most-eth humbly disagree-eth. | |
| [43:04] | And why-eth must we always go on with these “eths”? | |
| [43:08] | Because we speak officially-eth. | |
| [43:10] | Forget it. From now on, even when speaking officially… | |
| [43:14] | we must get rid of these “eths.” | |
| [43:15] | Official speaking is… | |
| [43:16] | an illustrious Lilliputian tradition! | |
| [43:18] | Inside castle voice. Please. | |
| [43:23] | Forgive me-eth. | |
| [43:27] | Forgive me. | |
| [43:29] | I think this job is beginning to stress you out. | |
| [43:32] | Maybe a little time off would be the thing. | |
| [43:36] | Who else could run your army? | |
| [43:39] | Our new general, Gulliver! | |
| [43:42] | I won’t let you down, King. | |
| [43:45] | And I look forward to working with you, Vice General Edward. | |
| [43:52] | “Vice General.” Vice! | |
| [43:55] | I’ve never been a Vice of anything. | |
| [43:57] | I can’t be expected to take orders from that gargantuan fool. | |
| [44:01] | I would rather take orders from a woman. | |
| [44:03] | – You are relieved. – Thank you, Vice General Edward. | |
| [44:10] | All right, Gulliver, protect against this. | |
| [44:22] | They have turned off their defense system. | |
| [44:24] | Alert the king, and prepare the armada. | |
| [44:40] | Oh, no. Our defense system has failed. | |
| [44:45] | We shall never reach our ships on time. | |
| [44:47] | Careful now. Mind yourselves. | |
| [44:51] | Oh, what a mess. | |
| [44:53] | They are defenseless. | |
| [44:55] | Cease fire and ready the troops! | |
| [44:57] | Gulliver! | |
| [44:58] | The Blefuscians attack! | |
| [45:02] | – Are you sure? – Yes! | |
| [45:04] | Please, we need you. You’re our general. | |
| [45:16] | It’s the entire Blefuscian armada! | |
| [45:18] | I know. | |
| [45:28] | Finally! Our general has arrived. | |
| [45:31] | What’s going on? I heard the bells. | |
| [45:33] | As our mighty general… | |
| [45:35] | you must lead the army to save Lilliput… | |
| [45:38] | and vanquish the entire Blefuscian armada. | |
| [45:43] | You want me to… | |
| [45:45] | vanquish all of them? | |
| [45:46] | Yes, please. | |
| [45:47] | Every last one of them. | |
| [45:50] | Yeah, fine. | |
| [45:51] | Thank you, fair Gulliver. | |
| [45:54] | Okay, here we go. | |
| [45:58] | Time to vanquish. | |
| [46:05] | It’s cold! | |
| [46:13] | No problem. | |
| [46:15] | You’re going down! | |
| [46:31] | Why have we stopped? | |
| [46:33] | It’s him. | |
| [46:44] | Hey, dudes. | |
| [46:46] | I’m Gulliver. | |
| [46:47] | I come in peace. Listen… | |
| [46:50] | they want me to vanquish you, but I don’t want to vanquish anybody… | |
| [46:52] | and you don’t want to be vanquished. | |
| [46:54] | Let’s just pretend, okay? I’ll go crazy. | |
| [46:57] | You act all scared and just follow my lead, all right? | |
| [47:00] | Sell it! | |
| [47:03] | Okay. Here we go. | |
| [47:07] | Unfurl the sails! | |
| [47:09] | Hard to starboard! | |
| [47:11] | Battle stations. | |
| [47:13] | Prepare positions. | |
| [47:15] | Move! Move! | |
| [47:17] | This truly is a battle for the ages. | |
| [47:19] | It truly is. | |
| [47:24] | Okay, so now, I’ll just tell them you were too swift or whatever and… | |
| [47:29] | How come you all turned around? | |
| [47:30] | Fire! | |
| [47:35] | Oh, no. That looks painful. | |
| [47:52] | Move! | |
| [47:58] | I’m invincible. | |
| [48:01] | Yes! | |
| [48:02] | Go on, Gulliver! | |
| [48:27] | Well done, sir! Well done! Excellent! | |
| [48:30] | Gulliver! Gulliver! | |
| [48:33] | Well done, you big, fat beast. | |
| [48:43] | Pound it. | |
| [48:45] | – Respect. – Well done, Gulliver! | |
| [48:57] | – Pass! – That’s a foul! That’s disgraceful! | |
| [49:03] | Goal! | |
| [49:05] | The beast is victorious. | |
| [49:07] | Goal! | |
| [49:14] | Guys, this is what I’m talking about. | |
| [49:18] | Look at that. With the billboards and the lights… | |
| [49:22] | it’s home sweet home. What can I say? | |
| [49:24] | Hey, could you guys send over a panzer division to my left shoulder, please? | |
| [49:28] | Yeah, north, two klicks. | |
| [49:30] | One klick. | |
| [49:32] | Oh, yeah, that’s the spot. | |
| [49:37] | Okay, just a little off the top. Don’t go crazy. | |
| [49:40] | And don’t shave off my sideburns. I need those mutton chops. | |
| [50:24] | You did good, though. Let’s try it again from the top. | |
| [50:28] | One sec, please. Pause game. | |
| [50:29] | Pause game. | |
| [50:31] | I was just thinking. You’re general of Lilliput now. | |
| [50:33] | Shouldn’t you be training the army? What if Blefuscia should attack again? | |
| [50:37] | Come on, man! No one’s gonna attack. | |
| [50:39] | Not while I’m around. I’m a one-man wrecking crew. | |
| [50:42] | If you want to worry, you should be worrying about how… | |
| [50:44] | you haven’t made a move on the princess yet. | |
| [50:46] | You’re in danger of falling into friendship lagoon. | |
| [50:49] | What? | |
| [50:50] | Yeah, friendship lagoon. It blows. | |
| [50:53] | You’re gonna be like, “We’re friends, it’s great. I’m cool with that.” | |
| [50:56] | And you won’t be cool with that! | |
| [50:57] | And it kills you inside. | |
| [50:59] | No. No, never! | |
| [51:02] | Yeah, man! | |
| [51:03] | You have to man up and be direct. | |
| [51:05] | Next time you see her, just tell her what’s up. | |
| [51:07] | “Hey, what’s up, sexy? | |
| [51:09] | “I hope it’s not too forward, but I find you incredibly sexy. | |
| [51:13] | “Never told you before but I’m into you… | |
| [51:15] | “but I’m also into a lot of things, so don’t get too excited. | |
| [51:18] | “Got a lot of things going on. I’d like you to be one of them.” | |
| [51:22] | You see the way I mixed it up? | |
| [51:24] | “I want you, but not that much.” You try it. | |
| [51:28] | should I use the face? | |
| [51:29] | If the face comes to you, but make it natural. | |
| [51:32] | Don’t make it a forced face. I just have one of those faces. | |
| [51:35] | It sort of happens naturally. | |
| [51:38] | My hands are sweating. | |
| [51:40] | Go. | |
| [51:41] | Okay. | |
| [51:44] | Well, hello… | |
| [51:45] | fine maiden with the wide, childbearing hips. | |
| [51:50] | Yikes. You don’t want to talk about wide childbearing hips. | |
| [51:54] | It’s a good instinct. You’re getting there. | |
| [51:56] | But try it again. But this time, more smooth and sexy. | |
| [51:59] | No big hips? | |
| [52:00] | No big hips. | |
| [52:01] | I think I got it. | |
| [52:06] | Well, hello there, slim. | |
| [52:10] | I ought to call you “potamus”… | |
| [52:14] | because you’ve got no hip. | |
| [52:22] | Do we have to be here for this? | |
| [52:24] | Take five, save game. | |
| [52:26] | Forget about the hips. Here’s what you have to do. | |
| [52:30] | You have to make sure… | |
| [52:36] | What are you doing in my chambers? | |
| [52:38] | I have come to court you as I always do at this time of the day. | |
| [52:42] | This is not the time of day for courting. | |
| [52:44] | You cannot just barge in. | |
| [52:46] | I can court you when I wish to court you. | |
| [52:49] | I am not in the mood to be courted. I have a headache. | |
| [52:54] | It is your womanly duty. | |
| [52:56] | Section 4.2 of the official courting doctrine… | |
| [52:59] | Edward! | |
| [53:01] | I am unsure about things between us. | |
| [53:05] | It be not you, it be me, but I’m very unsure. | |
| [53:09] | That make-th no sense. | |
| [53:11] | We are to be married. You are to be my bride. | |
| [53:15] | We are not in love. We are not in love. | |
| [53:18] | What do you love about me? Name one thing. | |
| [53:24] | Inappropriate, Edward. | |
| [53:31] | – Reach for it. – One second. | |
| [53:32] | Okay, take your time. | |
| [53:36] | I find you… | |
| [53:39] | absolutely… | |
| [53:41] | satisfactory. | |
| [53:43] | That is not enough… | |
| [53:45] | to say that someone is average or adequate or moderate. | |
| [53:48] | I want to be loved for who I am. | |
| [53:50] | There’s an awful lot… | |
| [53:52] | going on up here. | |
| [53:53] | – Is there? – Now you’re being cruel… | |
| [53:55] | and, frankly, melodramatic. | |
| [53:57] | And acting like a complete baby! | |
| [53:59] | You are acting like a little princess. | |
| [54:01] | I am a princess! | |
| [54:02] | But maybe you should… | |
| [54:03] | act like a princess. | |
| [54:05] | Gulliver was so right about you. | |
| [54:07] | – Why don’t we all listen to the beast! – Don’t call him that! | |
| [54:10] | He’s a big ugly beast and you should know better. | |
| [54:12] | Get out! | |
| [54:14] | You cannot break our engagement! It is worse than death! | |
| [54:17] | Get out! | |
| [54:22] | You will be sorry you ever crossed General Edward. | |
| [54:34] | Get your Gulliver’s T-shirts! Dress like Gulliver. | |
| [54:37] | You, sir! Get your Gulliver’s T-shirts here. | |
| [54:47] | Get your Gulliver’s T-shirts here! | |
| [54:50] | Gulliver’s T-shirts! | |
| [55:26] | What do you want? | |
| [55:31] | This beast… | |
| [55:32] | has transformed Lilliput… | |
| [55:34] | into his own sordid and rotten little kingdom. | |
| [55:38] | And he will do the same with your land if we do not stop him. | |
| [55:42] | To save Lilliput… | |
| [55:45] | I must first destroy it. | |
| [55:47] | How do you suggest we accomplish… | |
| [55:50] | such a dangerous task? | |
| [56:00] | I have got stuff! Look. | |
| [56:06] | I’m showing you. | |
| [56:08] | All right! Welcome to the first ever Lillapalooza! | |
| [56:12] | Let’s get this party started with a little jam I wrote! | |
| [56:17] | Right? | |
| [56:18] | What are you up to in the morrow? | |
| [56:19] | – In the morrow? – Yes. | |
| [56:21] | I’m just hanging. | |
| [56:23] | So, yeah. | |
| [56:25] | Would you care to attend the Ball of the Moonlit Glen with me? | |
| [56:29] | – The ball? – Yeah. | |
| [56:30] | The ball is tomorrow? | |
| [56:32] | Right. Maybe. | |
| [56:34] | It’s a pretty tasty jam! | |
| [56:35] | Pretty tasty jam. | |
| [56:37] | Why are you acting like this? | |
| [56:39] | – Acting like what? – Why are you being so strange? | |
| [56:44] | I’m a gentleman merchant about town… | |
| [56:46] | and I have got to keep my options open. | |
| [56:49] | Do you? | |
| [56:50] | That’s what I’ve been told. | |
| [56:52] | I’m not an option. I’m a lady. | |
| [56:55] | I know you are, and I love ladies. | |
| [56:57] | Believe me… Okay! | |
| [56:59] | I’m sorry. I was… | |
| [57:06] | Five bells! | |
| [57:08] | Five bells? What does five bells mean? | |
| [57:10] | There have never been five bells. | |
| [57:12] | Yeah? Don’t worry about it… | |
| [57:15] | because this guy throws down no matter how many bells are a-ringin’. | |
| [57:25] | Don’t freak, little peeps. This one is on me. | |
| [57:37] | You must be kidding me. This is five bells? | |
| [57:45] | It’s cute. | |
| [57:46] | Edward, you traitor! | |
| [57:48] | How dare you forsake your Lilliputian brethren! | |
| [57:50] | I only forsooked after I was forsooken. | |
| [57:52] | The forsookingness ends now! | |
| [57:55] | I challenge you to a duel! | |
| [57:59] | Cool. Whatever. | |
| [58:01] | So, you accept? | |
| [58:03] | Oh, yeah! Yeah, I accept your duel. | |
| [58:07] | Oh, goody! | |
| [58:08] | Make a move. | |
| [58:36] | Wow, you are hard. | |
| [58:43] | Okay! | |
| [58:45] | Just… | |
| [58:46] | stretching out the hammies. | |
| [58:48] | It’s a good thing to do before the duel. | |
| [58:58] | You brought this on yourself, beast. | |
| [59:01] | Do you surrender, beast? | |
| [59:03] | Sure, yeah! Whatever! | |
| [59:05] | No, say it properly. | |
| [59:06] | – Say you surrender. – Oh, yeah. | |
| [59:09] | Say it! Say it! Say, “I surrender!” | |
| [59:12] | I surrender! I surrender, I surrender! | |
| [59:16] | You win. | |
| [59:16] | It hurts my butt. | |
| [59:17] | You cannot surrender! You are our most glorious protector! | |
| [59:21] | You’re President the Awesome! | |
| [59:22] | And you and Captain Sparrow defeated the Joker and Magneto! | |
| [59:26] | And you and Jack Bauer had only 24 hours to do it! | |
| [59:29] | I didn’t do any of that stuff. | |
| [59:31] | I’m just a guy from the mailroom. | |
| [59:33] | But you gave us your word! | |
| [59:35] | I’m sorry. | |
| [59:38] | I lied. | |
| [59:40] | I knew it! | |
| [59:43] | I hereby banish this beast… | |
| [59:45] | to the Island Where We Dare Not Go… | |
| [59:47] | never to return to Lilliput again! | |
| [59:50] | Take your positions! | |
| [59:58] | Please, Gulliver. | |
| [1:00:13] | Hey… | |
| [1:00:14] | is this Island Where We Dare Not Go really as bad as they say? | |
| [1:00:18] | It’s delightful! | |
| [1:00:54] | Okay. | |
| [1:00:56] | No little people anywhere. That’s a good sign. | |
| [1:01:01] | Hello! Is anybody here? | |
| [1:01:14] | No way. | |
| [1:01:24] | Raise the standard! | |
| [1:01:33] | Let’s lose this rubbish! | |
| [1:01:35] | Lower away! | |
| [1:01:39] | Can I not walk alone in my own garden? | |
| [1:01:43] | Go away! | |
| [1:01:57] | Princess! | |
| [1:02:01] | I’ve secured a boat. | |
| [1:02:03] | We can leave tonight. | |
| [1:02:05] | No, Horatio. | |
| [1:02:07] | But Edward is gonna force you to marry him. | |
| [1:02:09] | I don’t have any choice. | |
| [1:02:11] | Please. Of course you have a choice. | |
| [1:02:14] | No, you made that choice for me. | |
| [1:02:16] | You don’t understand. | |
| [1:02:18] | Gulliver told me… | |
| [1:02:19] | Everything Gulliver said was a lie… | |
| [1:02:22] | including you. | |
| [1:02:40] | Oh, I’m paralyzed from the neck down. | |
| [1:02:42] | What’s that? What’s crawling on me? | |
| [1:02:44] | Not fire ants. Oh, please don’t be fire an… | |
| [1:02:48] | I am General Edward Edwardian… | |
| [1:02:50] | commander of New Blefuscia. All hail New Blefuscia. | |
| [1:02:53] | All hail New Blefuscia! | |
| [1:02:55] | I must warn Gulliver. | |
| [1:02:57] | State your name… | |
| [1:02:59] | she-beast. | |
| [1:03:00] | Darcy Silverman. | |
| [1:03:02] | Of Manhattan. | |
| [1:04:32] | I’m not doing this. | |
| [1:04:35] | You got me in the diaper and the dress. I’m not doing teatime with you. | |
| [1:04:39] | Go find another doll. | |
| [1:04:46] | Tea! Time for tea! | |
| [1:04:50] | Okay, we’re kissing. | |
| [1:04:52] | Gentler. Let’s just hold hands or something! | |
| [1:05:07] | What’s up? | |
| [1:05:08] | What kind of toy are you? | |
| [1:05:11] | Top Gun G.I. Joe? | |
| [1:05:13] | Cool detail. | |
| [1:06:08] | Gulliver! | |
| [1:06:13] | Down here. | |
| [1:06:14] | What are you doing here? | |
| [1:06:16] | Gulliver, you must return to Lilliput with me at once. | |
| [1:06:19] | Forget it, man. It’s a no-go. | |
| [1:06:21] | No, you don’t understand. Edward has… | |
| [1:06:22] | It doesn’t matter. | |
| [1:06:24] | I may be a hundred feet tall, but I’m not half the size of one of you little guys. | |
| [1:06:27] | You have to listen. This is important. | |
| [1:06:29] | No, this is where I belong. | |
| [1:06:31] | As a giant girl’s baby doll. | |
| [1:06:35] | Stop feeling sorry for yourself and listen! | |
| [1:06:38] | Blefuscia has taken over Lilliput… | |
| [1:06:40] | and Edward has captured Darcy Silverman of Manhattan. | |
| [1:06:43] | What? | |
| [1:06:44] | She’s… | |
| [1:06:46] | – Darcy’s here? – Yeah. | |
| [1:06:49] | She said she was gonna do the assignment herself. | |
| [1:06:52] | She’s here because of me. | |
| [1:06:54] | It’s all because of you. | |
| [1:06:56] | How could you lie to us? | |
| [1:07:00] | I was afraid to tell you guys the truth… | |
| [1:07:03] | because it was just so great being a big shot for the first time in my life. | |
| [1:07:09] | I didn’t want it to end. | |
| [1:07:11] | Snap out of it, man. | |
| [1:07:13] | You think of yourself as this small little thing, but that’s not how I see you. | |
| [1:07:17] | Think about what you’ve done already. You saved the princess. | |
| [1:07:20] | You single-handedly defeated the entire Blefuscian armada. | |
| [1:07:23] | Didn’t you? Come on. | |
| [1:07:25] | I’m your best friend. | |
| [1:07:27] | I wouldn’t lie to you. | |
| [1:07:28] | You can do this. | |
| [1:07:30] | So, take off that dress and let’s get out of here! | |
| [1:07:34] | Am I really your best friend? | |
| [1:07:36] | You’re kind of my only friend. | |
| [1:07:38] | Sweet, man. You, too, for me. | |
| [1:07:40] | Let’s go save Lilliput. | |
| [1:07:42] | Yeah, let’s go do this. | |
| [1:07:44] | Take me with you, yeah? | |
| [1:07:47] | One sec. There we go. | |
| [1:07:50] | – Oopsie-daisy. – I got you! | |
| [1:07:54] | Okay, officer… | |
| [1:07:56] | I’m just gonna borrow this parachute if it’s okay with you. | |
| [1:08:00] | You don’t need it anymore. | |
| [1:08:13] | This isn’t safe! | |
| [1:08:36] | I’ll let you… | |
| [1:08:38] | – Thanks, Horatio. – Good luck. | |
| [1:08:39] | I got this. | |
| [1:08:43] | Darcy. | |
| [1:08:47] | – Gulliver! – Hey. | |
| [1:08:49] | I’m coming over there. | |
| [1:08:54] | Are you okay? I can’t believe you’re here. | |
| [1:08:56] | I mean, of all the places, right? | |
| [1:09:02] | – What’s up? – What’s up? | |
| [1:09:03] | What’s up? What isn’t up? | |
| [1:09:05] | – Can we talk about the inverted whirlpool? – Crazy. | |
| [1:09:08] | And why is everybody calling me your princess? | |
| [1:09:11] | They don’t. I think you misheard. | |
| [1:09:13] | I see you have… | |
| [1:09:14] | returned for your princess. | |
| [1:09:16] | He did, right there. He just called me your princess. | |
| [1:09:19] | That’s because everybody is a princess here. | |
| [1:09:21] | I forgot to tell you, it’s just sort of a thing. | |
| [1:09:24] | If you wish to speak to your one true love privately… | |
| [1:09:26] | we shall cover our ears. | |
| [1:09:29] | One true love? | |
| [1:09:31] | You told them I’m your one true love? | |
| [1:09:37] | Is now a good or bad time to tell you… | |
| [1:09:40] | about the crush I’ve had on you for the last five years? | |
| [1:09:45] | Really? | |
| [1:09:48] | Yeah, I totally have a crush on you. | |
| [1:09:50] | Is that why you bring the mail cart around, but none of the mail is for me? | |
| [1:09:55] | yeah. | |
| [1:10:00] | I told everybody that you were my girlfriend. | |
| [1:10:02] | It’s really embarrassing. | |
| [1:10:04] | I think it’s kind of sweet. | |
| [1:10:08] | We must focus because we have to book… | |
| [1:10:10] | to the boat and get out of here. We’re surrounded by little people. | |
| [1:10:13] | Darcy, listen to me. | |
| [1:10:14] | I would love to book with you over to the boat right now, but I can’t. | |
| [1:10:18] | These little people have grown very large in my heart. | |
| [1:10:22] | They depended on me… | |
| [1:10:24] | and I let them down. | |
| [1:10:25] | And I have to do this first. | |
| [1:10:34] | King… | |
| [1:10:36] | if it’s all right with you, I’d like to be your glorious protector again. | |
| [1:10:39] | I don’t know. | |
| [1:10:41] | How are we to believe anything you say, Gulliver? | |
| [1:10:43] | Because my word is my bond. | |
| [1:10:46] | This time, for real. | |
| [1:10:49] | I promise. | |
| [1:10:51] | Gulliver. | |
| [1:10:55] | You work in the mailroom. | |
| [1:10:57] | Not today I don’t. | |
| [1:11:15] | We’re all with you, Gulliver. | |
| [1:11:40] | Hey, Edward. | |
| [1:11:43] | If I win… | |
| [1:11:45] | Lilliput returns to her former glory. | |
| [1:11:48] | And if you lose… | |
| [1:11:51] | this is what happens to Lilliput. | |
| [1:12:10] | I’ve made a slight improvement. | |
| [1:12:18] | Shocking, isn’t it? | |
| [1:12:26] | Hey! That’s not fair. He’s cheating. | |
| [1:12:29] | I’ve got to do something. | |
| [1:12:36] | Now do what you do best, Beast. And run off! | |
| [1:12:40] | No way. Not today. | |
| [1:12:45] | I’ve always liked you, Gulliver. | |
| [1:12:47] | I’ve always thought we had a real spark! | |
| [1:12:51] | Fear not, Gulliver! I’m on my way! | |
| [1:13:22] | Gulliver! No! | |
| [1:13:24] | Now stay down this time, beast! | |
| [1:13:50] | It is on! | |
| [1:14:03] | Go, Gulliver! | |
| [1:14:04] | Yes, Gulliver! Go! | |
| [1:14:11] | Go on, Gulliver! You can do it! Get him! | |
| [1:14:21] | Help-eth. | |
| [1:14:33] | Now that’s a Wedgie! | |
| [1:14:35] | – Yes! Well done! – Come on, Gulliver! | |
| [1:14:41] | – You did it! – Did you see that? | |
| [1:14:43] | I wedgied him back to the second grade! | |
| [1:15:00] | I’m so, so sorry. | |
| [1:15:03] | I hope that you can forgive me for the way that I behaved. | |
| [1:15:07] | You’re not an option… | |
| [1:15:11] | you’re the most beautiful lady in all the land. | |
| [1:15:15] | Who’s also super cool… | |
| [1:15:17] | and a stone-cold fox. | |
| [1:15:25] | Horatio! | |
| [1:15:26] | Do you realize what you’ve done? | |
| [1:15:31] | You have committed an act of valiance. | |
| [1:15:34] | I hereby give my permission… | |
| [1:15:52] | Nobody move! | |
| [1:15:53] | Halt! Stop! | |
| [1:15:54] | I have kidnapped the princess. | |
| [1:15:57] | You have been kidnapped. Congratulations. | |
| [1:15:58] | Enough with the kidnappings! | |
| [1:16:09] | Listen, I plagiarized all that stuff… | |
| [1:16:11] | because I thought you’d never go out with a dude from the mailroom. | |
| [1:16:13] | And I’m sorry, that will never happen again. | |
| [1:16:22] | So, yeah, coffee… | |
| [1:16:25] | I condemn you and all Blefuscians to the gallows. | |
| [1:16:27] | Prepare for war! | |
| [1:16:29] | you prepare for war! | |
| [1:16:32] | I have to do one more thing, real quick. | |
| [1:16:34] | Kings, kings, come on! | |
| [1:16:36] | Guys, what is it with you… | |
| [1:16:38] | and the executions… | |
| [1:16:39] | and the gallows and the stocks… | |
| [1:16:42] | and the war? | |
| [1:16:43] | Seriously, war? | |
| [1:16:45] | Why do war? What is it good for? | |
| [1:16:48] | Absolutely naught! | |
| [1:16:52] | War! | |
| [1:16:54] | Yeah What is it good for? | |
| [1:16:57] | Absolutely not… | |
| [1:16:59] | Say it again, y’all | |
| [1:17:00] | War! | |
| [1:17:02] | Good God, y’all | |
| [1:17:04] | What is it good for? | |
| [1:17:05] | I find it good for absolutely nil! | |
| [1:17:09] | It’s an enemy to all mankind | |
| [1:17:13] | The point of war blows my mind | |
| [1:17:17] | Life is much too short and precious | |
| [1:17:19] | To spend fighting wars these days | |
| [1:17:22] | War can’t give life | |
| [1:17:23] | It can only take it away | |
| [1:17:26] | War! | |
| [1:17:27] | Good God, y’all | |
| [1:17:29] | What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! | |
| [1:17:32] | Say it again, y’all | |
| [1:17:34] | War! | |
| [1:17:37] | What is it good for? | |
| [1:17:39] | Absolutely nothing | |
| [1:17:41] | Listen to me | |
| [1:17:43] | Peace, love and understanding | |
| [1:17:45] | Tell me, is there no place for them today? | |
| [1:17:51] | They say we must fight To keep our freedom | |
| [1:17:55] | But Lord knows There’s got to be a better way | |
| [1:17:59] | War! | |
| [1:18:01] | Good God, y’all | |
| [1:18:03] | What is it good for? | |
| [1:18:05] | Tell me | |
| [1:18:06] | Say it, say it, say oh! | |
| [1:18:08] | War! | |
| [1:18:10] | Good God, y’all | |
| [1:18:11] | What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! | |
| [1:18:14] | Just stand up and shout it! | |
| [1:18:37] | You’re gonna miss your big friend? | |
| [1:18:40] | A little. | |
| [1:18:41] | – Yeah? – A lot. | |
| [1:18:43] | Oh, dear. | |
| [1:19:02] | How was Papua, New Guinea? | |
| [1:19:04] | It was hot, sticky… | |
| [1:19:06] | and the most mind-boggling place I’ve ever seen. | |
| [1:19:11] | The most mind-boggling place you’ve ever seen? | |
| [1:19:14] | Okay, the second most mind-boggling place. | |
| [1:19:17] | Oops, sorry. | |
| [1:19:18] | Danny! | |
| [1:19:19] | Here are your morning mail, Gulliver. | |
| [1:19:22] | – Darcy. – Who’s your friend? | |
| [1:19:24] | I’m Mark. I’m just the new guy in the mailroom. | |
| [1:19:27] | Whoa, just the mailroom? | |
| [1:19:29] | Mailrooms are where it’s at. Right, Dan? | |
| [1:19:31] | Yeah, I don’t know why you would say that. | |
| [1:19:33] | That’s where all the greats start. | |
| [1:19:36] | Remember, there’s no small jobs. | |
| [1:19:38] | Just small people. | |
| [1:19:40] | Teeny, tiny, teeny little people. | |
| [1:19:45] | Remember I told you that? There are no small jobs. | |
| [1:19:47] | Just tiny, tiny, people. | |
| [1:19:48] | Can I take you to lunch? | |
| [1:19:50] | Of course you can… | |
| [1:19:54] | my fair princess. |