英文名称：Funny People
年代：2009
推荐：千部英美剧台词本阅读
| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:23] | Let’s call American Express. you lost your card, | 打电话给美国运通公司 说你的卡丢了 |
| [00:25] | And you don’t know what the number of it is. | 而且你忘记了卡号 |
| [00:27] | That’s a great one. | 这主意不错 |
| [00:28] | Do the old lady. | 假装是老太太 |
| [00:29] | I lost my card. | 我的卡丢了 |
| [00:33] | Your… your accent went in and out on you sometimes. | 你的口音变来变去的 |
| [00:35] | I went southern and then… | 先是南方口音 然后 |
| [00:36] | American express. I’m Danille, how may I help you? | 美国运通公司 我是丹妮拉 能为你做什么 |
| [00:37] | I certainly need some assistance. | 我的确需要帮助 |
| [00:40] | I’m sorry to call you in such a frenzy, | 很抱歉 我这么语无伦次 |
| [00:43] | But I’m very shook up. I got my American Express card stolen. | 我太愤怒了 我的美国运通卡被偷了 |
| [00:48] | Okay, can I have your last name, please? | 好 请告诉我你姓什么 |
| [00:50] | Yes. | 好 |
| [00:52] | What’s your last name? | 你姓什么 |
| [00:53] | Right. | 好 |
| [00:54] | Okay, can you give me your name so I can look up your account? | 告诉我你的名字 我才能查到你的账户 |
| [00:57] | Yes. Helen. | 好 我叫海轮 |
| [00:58] | What’s your last name, please? | 拜托 你姓什么 |
| [01:00] | Easafawn. | 艾沙凡 |
| [01:02] | What? | 什么 |
| [01:04] | Helen Easafawn. | 海轮・艾沙凡 |
| [01:07] | E-a | E-a |
| [01:11] | S-a-fawn | S-a-fawn. |
| [01:16] | Jerry’s famous deli. This is Cindy. May I help you? | 杰里熟食店 我是辛迪 能为您做什么 |
| [01:18] | Hi. I have no legs. May I speak to the manager? | 喂 我没有腿 我要和经理通话 |
| [01:26] | Now, if I get a bill and it’s something, like, for… | 如果我收到你们的账单或其他东西是因为 |
| [01:36] | But two times in a row I eat the damn roast beef and I’m… | 我连续吃了两份该死的烤牛排 |
| [01:42] | I can’t stop going to the bathroom! | 结果一直上洗手间 |
| [01:45] | Well, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do for you. | 对不起 我无能为力 |
| [01:48] | Ma? | 妈妈 |
| [01:50] | And my son thinks I’m crazy. | 我儿子觉得我疯了 |
| [01:52] | Ma, who you calling? | 妈妈 你在和谁打电话 |
| [01:54] | It’s Jerry’s. And don’t tell me not to call them. | 杰里熟食店 别告诉我不能打给他们 |
| [01:56] | Jesus christ, get off the fucking phone! | 天呐 把该死的电话挂了 |
| [01:58] | Don’t talk to me that way! | 不要这样和我说话 |
| [01:59] | Get off the fucking phone! | 快把该死的电话挂了 |
| [02:01] | What’s going on? | 怎么了 |
| [02:02] | Same thing as the last time. | 老戏码了 |
| [02:04] | Did she… what’d she call you about? | 她 她和你说了什么 |
| [02:05] | – The roast beef? – Yes. | -烤牛排吗 -是的 |
| [02:06] | All right, she just puked in the kitchen. | 好吧 她刚刚在厨房吐了 |
| [02:08] | That’s all right. I suggested that she doesn’t eat roast beef | 没关系 我建议她不要再吃烤牛排了 |
| [02:11] | If it doesn’t agree with her. | 烤牛排不适合她 |
| [02:16] | I… I appreciate your suggestions, but I love roast beef. | 谢谢你的建议 可我很爱吃烤牛排 |
| [02:22] | It’s delicious! | 味道美极了 |
| [02:25] | Go clean up the mess! | 去把那堆脏东西清理了 |
| [02:26] | I can’t. Get off of me! | 我不去 放开我 |
| [02:30] | You son of a bitch! | 你这个混蛋 |
| [03:17] | George? | 乔治 |
| [03:25] | Hi, Mr. simmons. | 你好 西蒙斯先生 |
| [03:26] | Ladies. | 你们好 女士们 |
| [03:30] | George Simmons, man! Can I get a picture? | 乔治・乔治 老兄 能和你拍张照吗 |
| [03:32] | Yeah, yeah. You got it ready? All right, hit me, baby, all right. | 是的 准备好了吗 好了 拍吧 宝贝 好了 |
| [03:35] | Get a little tittie in there. Come on. | 快 贴紧一点 |
| [03:37] | – How are you? – You’re really funny. | -你好吗 -你真有趣 |
| [03:38] | Thank you. You’re funnier. | 谢谢 你更有趣 |
| [03:44] | Gentlemen. Gentlemen. Hey, what’s up? | 先生们 先生们 你们好 |
| [03:45] | Hey. How are you? | 你们好 |
| [04:01] | – Hey, handsome. – Doctor. | -你好 帅哥 -医生 |
| [04:03] | How are you, kid? | 你好 孩子 |
| [04:04] | How are you, baby? | 你好 宝贝 |
| [04:06] | The lunestas are working, baby. | 安定片很有用 宝贝 |
| [04:08] | Those are smooth. No hangover. | 药效温和 没有副作用 |
| [04:10] | Fall asleep, bam. fucking what was the deal with the restorils? | 入睡很快 骗人 为什么要吃安眠药 |
| [04:15] | Why did you give me those? | 你为什么让我服这些 |
| [04:17] | You trying to fuck with me or something? | 你要和我上床 |
| [04:19] | George, we got the results back | 乔治 你的血常规报告 |
| [04:19] | From the follow-up of your blood count | 出来了 |
| [04:23] | And it’s not what we hoped for. | 结果不是我们所希望的 |
| [04:25] | As I mentioned earlier, the CBC was abnormal. | 我之前提过 你的血球数不正常 |
| [04:29] | Your white blood cells were four times | 白细胞数是 |
| [04:32] | The size that they should be. | 正常值的四倍 |
| [04:34] | And very low hemoglobin, seven grams per deciliter. | 而血红蛋白又很低 每100毫升只有七克 |
| [04:38] | I don’t understand what you’re saying right now. | 我不明白你在说什么 |
| [04:40] | Can you speak how people speak? | 你能说得简单点吗 |
| [04:43] | You have a very serious disease. It’s called AML. | 你得了重病 急性骨髓性白血病 |
| [04:46] | It’s a form of leukemia and | 白血病的一种 |
| [04:48] | I can’t predict how this will play out, | 我不知道病情会如何发展 |
| [04:51] | But I feel you have a rough road ahead of you. | 但我知道你前途布满荆棘 |
| [05:01] | That’s George Simmons, right here. | 那是乔治・西蒙斯 |
| [05:02] | George! George! George Simmons! | 乔治 乔治 乔治・西蒙斯 |
| [05:04] | Hey, man! How, how you doing, man? I’m a big fan of yours. | 老兄 你怎样 我是你影迷 |
| [05:26] | I’m sorry to say we’re past the point | 抱歉我不得不告诉你 |
| [05:28] | Where traditional structures | 以你目前的状况 |
| [05:30] | Like chemotherapy and radiation would be effective at all. | 化疗和放疗都没用了 |
| [05:36] | And I think it’s best for us to pursue an experimental course. | 我想最好是去找还在试验中的疗法 |
| [05:44] | Here you go, ma’am. Your tamales. | 给你 女士 这是你的达玛雷斯(一种食物) |
| [05:46] | – Thanks for shopping at Otto’s. – Yo, chuck, | -谢谢光临奥托 -嘿 恰克 |
| [05:48] | I’m going up at the comedy & magic club doing stand-up. | 我要去喜剧魔术俱乐部表演单口相声 |
| [05:50] | You should come watch me. | 你该来看我表演 |
| [05:51] | Don’t let him suck you in. he’s not funny. | 别被他说动了 他不是个幽默的人 |
| [05:54] | Nah, he’s right, man. No way, man. That shit was painful. | 他说得对 老兄 我不去 那太痛苦了 |
| [05:57] | I mean, it was hard watching you suffer up there. | 看你在台上受难太痛苦了 |
| [05:59] | I had fucking nightmares after that. | 看过那以后我一直做噩梦 |
| [06:00] | That was a long time ago. That was months ago. | 很久前的事了 好几个月前了 |
| [06:02] | I’ve gotten a lot funnier since then. | 那以后我幽默多了 |
| [06:03] | Then you bored my wife to sleep. | 你还让我老婆无聊得睡着了 |
| [06:04] | I couldn’t get no pussy that night, man. | 害我那晚没得做爱 老兄 |
| [06:06] | Don’t blame me for your pussy issues. | 这事不能怪我 |
| [06:08] | – Are they gonna pay you? – Pay me? No! | -他们付你钱吗 -付钱 没有 |
| [06:10] | That’s just how it starts. You don’t get paid in the beginning. | 刚开始是这样 刚开始拿不到钱 |
| [06:12] | You gotta, you know, work your way up through the ranks. | 你得一级一级往上爬 |
| [06:14] | My nigger, how the fuck you in show business | 朋友 妈的你无一技之长 |
| [06:16] | When you got no business to show? | 怎么还会在演艺圈里混 |
| [06:18] | I’m supposed to be writing jokes. | 我本来该写笑话 |
| [06:19] | I’m supposed to be doing comedy. | 该去演喜剧 |
| [06:20] | I’m not supposed to be making macaroni salad. | 而不是在这做通心面沙拉 |
| [06:23] | I hate it, man. It’s depressing. Otto’s sucks! | 我讨厌这个 太令人沮丧了 奥托不是好公司 |
| [06:25] | You don’t know about no motherfucking hard time, man. | 老兄 你根本受过他妈的挫折 |
| [06:28] | I’m a ex-convict, man. otto’s the only place that would hire me. | 我有前科 老兄 只有奥托肯雇我 |
| [06:31] | You too good for otto’s now? | 你优秀到奥托请不起了吗 |
| [06:32] | I’m not too good for it. | 我没那么优秀 |
| [06:33] | I just don’t… it’s not for me, you know, I’m sorry. | 我只是不 它不适合我 对不起 |
| [06:35] | See that bridge? 1,200 bucks. | 看看这假牙 1200美元 |
| [06:38] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [06:39] | On the house, man! Otto, man! Otto’s my lotto. | 都是奥托付的 老兄 奥托就是我的乐透(彩票) |
| [06:42] | Come on, man, look. I can’t work here anymore, all right? | 别这样 老兄 我没法在这儿继续工作了 |
| [06:44] | What, you gonna be on TV or some shit like that? | 你要上电视还是要干什么 |
| [06:46] | I am gonna be on TV. | 我要上电视 |
| [06:47] | The chunky guy on survivor or some shit? | 演个矮胖的服务生还是其他屁事 |
| [06:48] | No, I’m gonna be like Seinfeld. | 不 我要像宋飞一样 |
| [06:49] | Get the fuck out of here, man! | 想得美 老兄 |
| [06:52] | You ain’t gonna be like seinfeld. | 你不可能像宋飞那样 |
| [06:53] | Seinfeld’s my motherfucking man! | 我他妈的大爱宋飞 |
| [06:55] | Now Kramer, | 还是像克莱默 |
| [06:56] | Kramer gets a pass from me ’cause kramer’s my nigger. | 克莱默还不错 他是我朋友才这么说的 |
| [06:59] | Well, very forgiving of you. | 你可真博爱 |
| [07:01] | Look, as a friend, man, let me tell you something. | 身为你的朋友 老兄 我告诉你 |
| [07:03] | – You’re not funny. – I think I’m funny. | -你不幽默 -我觉得我挺幽默呢 |
| [07:05] | I got new jokes, man, and they’re good. | 我有新的笑话 老兄 都很好笑 |
| [07:07] | Let me hear one of your new jokes. | 说一个来听听 |
| [07:08] | Okay, I got one like, | 好 听着 |
| [07:10] | I’m really good at guitar hero, you know, on playstation, | 我在游戏厅里是玩吉他游戏的高手 |
| [07:13] | And I was so good at it, I thought, like, | 于是我想 既然玩得这么好 |
| [07:15] | “Maybe I should get a guitar. “ | 也许我该买一个吉他 |
| [07:16] | Then I thought like, “i’m really good at grand theft auto, | 然后我想 侠盗猎车我也玩得很好 |
| [07:18] | “maybe I should start beating up hookers. “ | 也许我可以痛殴盗车贼 |
| [07:21] | Okay, that got me. That was humorous. | 好吧 真好笑 太有趣了 |
| [07:22] | I thought you’d like that. | 我就知道你喜欢 |
| [07:24] | But, yo, I ain’t got no dough, man. | 但是我没钱 老兄 |
| [07:25] | For real, if I had some dough, I would go. | 真的 如果我有钱 我就去了 |
| [07:27] | I’ll pay your cover charge. | 我替你付服务费 |
| [07:28] | That’s the night I take my wife out also, | 晚上我会带老婆去 |
| [07:30] | So you gotta pay for my bitch, too. | 你也得替她付 |
| [07:32] | Okay, I’ll do it. Okay. If you come and laugh, laugh loud. | 好 我付 如果你去了 记住大声笑 |
| [07:35] | – Like that? – That’s good. Perfect. | -像这样吗 -就这样 太棒了 |
| [07:36] | I’ll see you Saturday then. | 那周六晚上见 |
| [07:37] | Okay, good. Thank you. | 好 谢谢 |
| [07:38] | Craig, listen to me. I’m doing the best I can, okay? | 克雷格 听我说 我尽力了 |
| [07:41] | I wiped your ass our entire childhood. | 小时候都是我替你处理善后 |
| [07:43] | Now it’s your turn, buddy! | 现在轮到你了 老兄 |
| [07:45] | Well, you’re the one that asked the wizard | 是你让魔术师 |
| [07:46] | To make you young again. | 把你变年轻 |
| [07:47] | I didn’t mean this young! | 不是这样的年轻 |
| [07:50] | Last time I had a suit on, at my bar mitzvah. | 上次我穿着礼服是在受戒仪式上 |
| [07:52] | My bar mitzvah, it was the last… | 我的受戒仪式 那是最后 |
| [07:54] | And now I got the same suit. It’s the same suit. | 现在我穿着同样的礼服 就是那套 |
| [07:56] | I think it looks good. | 我觉得这衣服不错 |
| [07:57] | The bar mitzvah was a good day in my life. | 受戒礼是我一生最美好的一天 |
| [07:59] | I made more money that day than I think I’ll ever make again. | 那天我赚到了这辈子最多的钱 |
| [08:03] | You know, it’s really sad. To peak at 13 is a weird feeling. | 有点难过 13岁达到事业巅峰感觉很奇怪 |
| [08:06] | This is indicative of the kind of… | 这预示着那种 |
| [08:07] | Yo. yo. Shoot that. Look at that! | 拍那边 看那 |
| [08:09] | Both those girls just go, “That’s the guy from MTV.” | 那俩姑娘继续走 那人在MTV台工作 |
| [08:12] | I swear on my life, those two girls, they were just going, | 我发誓那俩姑娘看都没看他 |
| [08:15] | “That’s the guy. ” it’s the second time it happened. | 是那人 第二次发生了 |
| [08:17] | I got off a… I got off, I got off the bus, and… | 我下了 我下了 我下了汽车 |
| [08:22] | I mean, the train. I’m walking out… | 我指火车 我继续走着 |
| [08:58] | Me and Ann traded shifts. My family’s in from Green Bay. | 我和安换了班 我家人从格林贝来了 |
| [09:03] | You know, come to see | 来看他们女儿 |
| [09:04] | How their daughter’s doing in the big city. | 在大城市里过得怎样 |
| [09:06] | You know, wait, you went to school here, right? | 等等 你在这儿上学对吧 |
| [09:10] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [09:11] | Hey, Laura, it’s george. | 喂 劳拉 我是乔治 |
| [09:15] | How’s the northern side of California going? | 你在加利福尼亚的北方过得怎样 |
| [09:19] | What do you want, George? | 你想干什么 乔治 |
| [09:22] | I was wondering if you had a few minutes. | 不知道你有没有空 就几分钟 |
| [09:24] | I wanted to talk to you about something. | 我想和你谈谈 |
| [09:27] | Actually, I don’t. I was just walking out the door. | 我没空 我刚刚出门 |
| [09:32] | Is it okay if I get your number | 要不给我你的电话 |
| [09:33] | And I’ll give you a call back later? | 我晚点打给你 好吗 |
| [09:36] | I know I’m not supposed to call you. | 我知道我不该打给你 |
| [09:38] | I just wanted to let you know that, | 我只想让你知道 |
| [09:42] | That I really am so sorry about everything. | 我真的对所发生的一切感到抱歉 |
| [09:47] | I’m sorry, I screwed up. | 对不起 是我搞砸了 |
| [09:51] | Too bad you didn’t realize that back then, but | 可惜你没早认识到 |
| [09:53] | Anyway, I gotta go. Do you want me to call you back? | 不管怎样 我要走了 要我晚点打给你吗 |
| [09:57] | No, you don’t have to call me back. I know you’re not going to, | 不用 不用打了 我知道你也不会打 |
| [10:00] | But I just wanted to let you know I was sorry one more time. | 我只想让你知道 再一次对你说对不起 |
| [10:04] | Okay. Well, all right. Okay, good luck, George. | 好吧 祝你好运 乔治 |
| [10:07] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [10:14] | You know, so, like, I have this joke about how, | 我这个笑话是关于 |
| [10:17] | Like, you never see, like, | 你从没见过的 |
| [10:18] | A very attractive, blonde, big-breasted homeless woman. | 一个很吸引眼球 金发大胸的流浪女 |
| [10:21] | You know, like, someone will | 不管怎样 |
| [10:23] | Take care of that person no matter what. | 有人会照顾她 |
| [10:25] | – That woman’s gonna be fine. – All right, so here’s the joke. | -那女人会过得很好 -好吧 我讲个笑话 |
| [10:27] | You can be attractive and stupid and make it in the world. | 你可以很迷人也可以很蠢的活着 |
| [10:30] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [10:31] | And you could be unattractive and smart | 你可以不迷人但聪明 |
| [10:32] | And make it in the world. | 然后就这么过下去 |
| [10:33] | But it’s the ugly, dumb people who are really screwed | 可是丑陋的哑巴才真正搞笑 |
| [10:37] | ’cause they’re ignorant and an eyesore. | 因为他们愚昧 难看极了 |
| [10:38] | That’s funny, man. | 太有趣了 老兄 |
| [10:39] | That’s pretty funny. I think that’ll work. | 那相当有趣 我觉得可以 |
| [10:41] | I was thinking of doing this thing where, like, | 我有想过写这样的笑话 |
| [10:42] | I’m not good-looking and I’m not bad-looking. | 我既不英俊也不丑陋 |
| [10:44] | I’m kind of, like, right in the middle, you know. | 你知道 我相貌平平 |
| [10:45] | Like… Like, if I had a good personality, | 如果我性格随和 |
| [10:47] | I could get any chick in the world, | 我就能得到世上任何一个女人 |
| [10:49] | – But I don’t. – Yeah, it doesn’t work. | -可我没有 -这不好笑 |
| [10:51] | I auditioned for Budd Friedman at the improv. | 巴德・弗里德曼曾让我即兴表演过 |
| [10:53] | He okayed me and made me a regular. | 他觉得我不错 所以我成了固定演员 |
| [10:56] | Budd won’t even look me in the eye. | 巴德看都不曾看过我 |
| [10:57] | Man, that’s… good for you, man. Congratulations. | 老兄 你真走运 祝贺你 |
| [11:00] | You shouldn’t have lost all that weight, man. | 你不该减肥 老兄 |
| [11:02] | There’s nothing funny about a physically-fit man. | 身体健康的人一点也不有趣 |
| [11:04] | – I know. It’s lame, right? – Yeah. | -我知道 瘸子才有趣 -是的 |
| [11:06] | No one wants to watch Lance Armstrong do comedy. | 没人想看兰斯・阿姆斯特朗演喜剧 |
| [11:08] | Oh, god. | 天哪 |
| [11:09] | Hey, Ira. | 艾拉 |
| [11:10] | Oh, hey, Mark. Can you do me a favor | 马克 能不能帮帮忙 |
| [11:12] | And never leave a paycheck | 别再把你演情景喜剧 |
| [11:13] | From your shit sitcom on my pillow ever again, please? | 获得的支票放在我的枕头上了 |
| [11:16] | That is so rude of me to accidentally leave my paycheck | 我太无礼了 居然把25000美元的支票 |
| [11:19] | For $25,000 on your pillow. I’m sorry. | 忘在你的枕头上 对不起 |
| [11:23] | It’s a dick move. | 这种行为让人无法容忍 |
| [11:24] | It’s just, they keep coming, | 支票不断寄来 |
| [11:26] | You know, week after week. | 每周都有 |
| [11:27] | It’s getting a little bit hard to keep track of them all. | 很难记住它们都在哪里 |
| [11:29] | You know what? Becoming marginally famous | 知道吗 只不过稍稍出名点 |
| [11:31] | Has really turned you into an asshole. | 就把你变成了混蛋 |
| [11:32] | Now listen, I’d love to stay here and chat with you, | 我想和你们在这聊天 |
| [11:35] | But we have company. | 但是外面有客人 |
| [11:37] | You know that girl comedian who lives across the street? | 知道住在街对面的那个喜剧女演员吗 |
| [11:39] | The one with the dark hair and the bangs? | 黑头发 有刘海的那个 |
| [11:41] | – Daisy, yeah. – Daisy, right. | -戴西 -戴西 是的 |
| [11:42] | Well, I bumped into her outside and I invited her in, | 我刚在外面遇到她 并邀请她进来坐坐 |
| [11:45] | And she’s sitting in our living room right now. | 她现在客厅坐着 |
| [11:48] | She’s out there right now? | 她在外面吗 |
| [11:49] | She’s hot and she’s mousy, but kind of like… | 她很性感 又很胆小 有点像 |
| [11:52] | She’s mousy like a mouse you want to stick your dick in. | 她胆小如鼠 你还想干她 |
| [11:54] | Yeah, you’ve gotta get out there and talk to her. | 你们出来和她聊聊吧 |
| [11:56] | Why would you do that? | 为什么这样做 |
| [11:58] | What do you mean, why would I do that? | 什么意思 我为什么这样做 |
| [11:59] | I’m trying to hook you up. | 我在帮你 |
| [12:00] | Well, I’m laying groundwork, man. | 我正在构思 老兄 |
| [12:01] | I got a three-month plan. You can’t just throw me into this. | 我有个3个月的计划 别让我做这事 |
| [12:03] | I’ll give you 10 days on your three-month plan. | 你那3个月的计划10天就搞定了 |
| [12:06] | No, I need 80 more days than that! | 不 我还需要额外的80天 |
| [12:07] | Okay, I do this because I care about you. | 我这么做是关心你 |
| [12:10] | I do this to motivate you. | 是启发你 |
| [12:11] | But I will fuck that girl in 10 days. I promise. | 我要在10天内搞定她 我保证 |
| [12:15] | Come on, dude, I’m not cute like you. | 拜托 老兄 我没有你可爱 |
| [12:17] | I don’t look like Jackson Browne. I look like Jon Favreau! | 我不像杰克逊・布朗 我像乔恩・费儒 |
| [12:21] | Don’t do this to me. Don’t make me fuck her. | 不要这样对我 别让我和她上床 |
| [12:23] | Well, then just don’t fuck her! | 好 那就不上床 |
| [12:24] | Don’t you put me in this corner | 你非得把我逼到这个地步 |
| [12:26] | Where I have to fuck my way out. | 才甘愿吗 |
| [12:27] | He’ll do it, too. he’ll do it. I’ve seen him do this before. | 他会这么做 他会的 我见过他这么做过 |
| [12:30] | I’m gonna go out there and warm her up. I’ll see you out there. | 我先出去和她聊聊 你马上出来 |
| [12:33] | Kanye. Kanye! | 卡内 卡内 |
| [12:35] | No. t.i. t.i. | 不 t.i. t.i |
| [12:36] | Lil weezy. It’s all about common. | 利尔・维兹 这都是常识 |
| [12:37] | Eminem. But do you guys know | 埃米纳姆 你们知道 |
| [12:39] | Who the greatest rapper of all time is? | 谁是最出名的说唱乐歌手吗 |
| [12:42] | William shakespeare! | 威廉・莎士比亚 |
| [12:47] | I know it’s silly, but it’s fun. You know, people like it. | 我知道这很傻 可是很有趣 观众喜欢 |
| [12:50] | Yeah. You know? | 是的 你知道吗 |
| [12:51] | It’s just cool that you’re on tv. I mean… | 你在电视上很帅 我指 |
| [12:54] | I can’t believe you haven’t seen this before. | 我不相信你以前没看过这节目 |
| [12:56] | Yeah, I can’t believe it’s gotten by me. | 是的 我不相信我居然喜欢 |
| [12:59] | Is it on a kids channel? WB? a teen channel or something? | 这是儿童频道 WB频道 还是青年频道 |
| [13:03] | No. it’s on NBC. | 不 是在NBC |
| [13:04] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [13:05] | Ira, this is Daisy. oh! | 艾拉 这位是戴西 |
| [13:07] | Daisy, Ira. | 戴西 这是艾拉 |
| [13:09] | – How are you? How’s it going? – Good. | -你好 你好吗 -很好 |
| [13:10] | Actually, I have a cold, so I shouldn’t… | 事实上 我感冒了 我不该 |
| [13:12] | Air shake. | 来个空中握手吧 |
| [13:15] | I’ve actually seen you do comedy | 事实上 我看过几次 |
| [13:17] | At the improv a couple times. | 你的即兴喜剧表演 |
| [13:18] | Yeah, you’re really… you’re really, really funny. | 你演得真的很好 很滑稽 |
| [13:18] | Yeah, you’re really… you’re really, really funny. | 你演得真的很好 很滑稽 |
| [13:20] | Oh, thanks. | 噢 谢谢 |
| [13:20] | Oh, thanks. | 噢 谢谢 |
| [13:23] | You know, Ira just lost 20 pounds. | 你猜怎么着 艾拉刚减了20磅 |
| [13:23] | You know, Ira just lost 20 pounds. | 你猜怎么着 艾拉刚减了20磅 |
| [13:25] | Oh, congratulations. | 恭喜你减肥成功 |
| [13:25] | Oh, congratulations. | 恭喜你减肥成功 |
| [13:26] | Yes, I did. All from my cock. | 是啊 都是从我小鸡鸡上减下来的 |
| [13:26] | Yes, I did. All from my cock. | 是啊 都是从我小鸡鸡上减下来的 |
| [13:28] | Um… so… | 呃 那什么 |
| [13:32] | So, this episode right here is actually a two-parter. | 那什么 这集是分了上下两部分的 |
| [13:36] | Great. So does that mean we’re gonna watch | 所以我们现在得把 |
| [13:37] | Both parts right now? | 两部都看了吗 |
| [13:39] | Oh, shoot. oh, god. | 噢糟糕 |
| [13:41] | You need some help with that, Ira? | 要帮忙吗 艾拉 |
| [13:42] | No! No, it’s… | 不用不用 |
| [13:43] | It’s okay, I got it. I got it. I got it. | 没事儿的 我能搞定 |
| [13:50] | I’m joking. I’ll get a rag. | 开玩笑呢我 我拿块抹布去 |
| [13:53] | See you in nine days, Ira! | 艾拉 九天后再见啦 |
| [13:56] | I went to a place recently | 最近我去了一地方 |
| [13:58] | I’m convinced is the most | 那是我去过的 |
| [13:59] | fucked up, crazy place I’ve ever been to. | 最诡异最疯狂的地方了 |
| [14:01] | It’s a little place called Cold Stone Creamery. | 那地方叫做”蛋蛋冰工厂” |
| [14:06] | Now, the thing at Cold Stone is… | 在蛋蛋冰工厂呢… |
| [14:08] | I can’t believe this is what people like. | 观众居然会喜欢听这个 |
| [14:11] | The sizes are “like it,” “love it” and “gotta have it!” | 有”不错嘛””真不错””就是它了”几种码型 |
| [14:18] | What kind of crackhead terminology is that? | 什么鬼说法啊这是 |
| [14:21] | “What size you want, man?” | “哥们 要什么型号的” |
| [14:22] | “i don’t know, man, I just gotta have it! | “我不知道啊 就是它了 |
| [14:24] | “Put some ice cream in a cup with some sprinkles! | 给我装杯冰激淋 再撒点碎巧克力 |
| [14:26] | Put your dick in a butterfinger and fuck it for me, please! | 把你的棍棍放进去自慰给我看” |
| [14:29] | “Put it in the cup! | “快放进去 |
| [14:30] | I need it! I’m tweaking! I’m tweaking! I’m tweaking! | 我等不及了 等不及了 |
| [14:33] | I’m tweaking! I’m tweaking! I’m tweaking! I’m tweaking! | 等不及了 等不及了 等不及了 |
| [14:35] | I’m tweaking! I’m tweaking! I’m tweaking!” | 等不及 等不及 等不及” |
| [14:37] | That’s how it’s done, son! That’s how it’s done, son! | 你小子快看看 我就是这么干 |
| [14:41] | Killed it, man. Crowd was crazy. | 简直嗨翻天 观众都快乐死了 |
| [14:43] | Is it always that wild on a Wednesday? | 周三的场子总是这么狂野吗 |
| [14:45] | No, they were… they seem pretty good out there. | 没有 不过这次他们倒是真挺高兴 |
| [14:47] | I’m really stepping up my game. | 我简直已经登堂入室 |
| [14:48] | These bitches gotta start paying me for this. | 那帮家伙得付我钱了 |
| [14:51] | Can’t get no more free randy. | 不能让他们白乐呵 |
| [14:52] | I just fucked that crowd in the ass. | 都给他们伺候成这样了 |
| [14:54] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [14:55] | Just awesome. Just fucking bam! | 真他妈太爽了 |
| [14:57] | Crowd, me, bam! Crowd, me… My stand-up’s my dick. | 万人拥戴啊 我就靠鸡巴打天下了 |
| [15:03] | You know? I’m gonna do the same thing. | 你知道吗 我也准备这么干 |
| [15:06] | Bullshit! Let’s get some m&m’s and chips going. | 狗屁 给爷来点巧克力豆和薯片 |
| [15:09] | – Yellow! – Ira! | -黄色的耶 -艾拉 |
| [15:12] | Hey. Kevin Rooney didn’t show up, | 凯文・鲁尼还没来 |
| [15:14] | So you’re gonna do 10 minutes after Leo. | 你就在里昂之后表演10分钟吧 |
| [15:16] | Really? Okay. thanks. Yeah. | 真的吗 行啊 谢谢 |
| [15:18] | “Yeah, thanks, yeah. “ | 行啊 谢谢 |
| [15:27] | Hey. Did he just tell you you’re going on next? | 他让你下一个上台吗 |
| [15:30] | – Yeah, I’m on next. – Okay. well, I’m on after you, | -对 下一个就是我 -行 你后面是我 |
| [15:32] | And if you go long, this is going to die in my pocket. | 你要是说太久 这东西就得死在我口袋里了 |
| [15:35] | That wasn’t a joke. I’m not a comic. | 没跟你开玩笑 我不是来搞笑的 |
| [15:38] | Okay, when you get the light that means one minute. | 亮灯就表示你还剩一分钟 知道了吧 |
| [15:41] | Okay. | 知道了 |
| [15:42] | The other night, I heard my balls and my dick talking. | 有天晚上 我听到我的蛋蛋和小弟弟在聊天 |
| [15:44] | And my balls were like, | 蛋蛋这么说 |
| [15:47] | “are you okay? | “你还撑得住吗 |
| [15:51] | “Is he hurting you?” | 他弄疼你了吗” |
| [15:53] | And my dick’s like, “you don’t know him like I do. | 小鸡鸡就回答 “我比你了解他 |
| [15:55] | “He’s a great guy. He loves me. “ | 他才不会弄疼我呢 他爱死我了” |
| [16:01] | Hey. George Simmons just showed up. | 乔治・西蒙斯突然来了 |
| [16:02] | He wants to go on, so you are bumped. | 他想上台 所以你再等会 |
| [16:05] | Okay, how long does he do? | 好的 他要说多久 |
| [16:06] | How the fuck should I know? | 妈的 我怎么知道 |
| [16:07] | He hasn’t been here in five years, but you gotta be ready. | 他都五年没来表演了 不过你随时候场 |
| [16:09] | – Okay. – Okay. | -好的 -好 |
| [16:10] | Thank you, guys! It’s really nice to be here! | 谢谢大伙 我很荣幸来表演 |
| [16:14] | – See that? I fucking killed out there. – Yeah, that was good. | -看见没 全场欢呼啊 -没错 效果真好 |
| [16:16] | – Watch out, Leo, watch out. – All my new shit worked. | -让开 让开 -新段子都打响了 |
| [16:17] | Yeah. Yeah. | 没错 没错 |
| [16:18] | I was supposed to go on after you. George Simmons showed up. | 下一个该我上场 可乔治・西蒙斯来了 |
| [16:20] | Now I’m gonna go on after him. | 我就等他说完再上 |
| [16:22] | – George Simmons is going up right now? – Yeah. | -乔治・西蒙斯要上场了 -是啊 |
| [16:23] | I just opened for George Simmons? | 那我刚才是给他开的场 |
| [16:25] | Yeah. | 是 |
| [16:26] | That’s fucking awesome, man! | 这他妈的太棒了 哥们 |
| [16:29] | Yeah! | 哦耶 |
| [16:32] | All right! | 好啦 |
| [16:36] | Yeah, all right, I’m scared. | 行了行了 我都有点害怕了 |
| [16:38] | I’m scared for all of you guys. | 害怕你们这帮人 |
| [16:40] | You need me! you need me. I’m not gonna be here forever. | 你们需要我啊 可我总有一天会退休 |
| [16:45] | Who’s gonna amuse you? It’s so simple. | 等我走了谁逗你们乐啊 其实挺简单的 |
| [16:49] | You just look at each other and say… | 你们就互相看着 然后说点这个 |
| [16:53] | Everyone’s laughing. | 大家就都乐了 |
| [16:55] | You people are so unamusing | 你们真是太无趣了 |
| [16:57] | you have to pay another person to come and amuse you. | 无趣到还得雇人来逗你们乐 |
| [17:01] | What do you do at home? | 你们在家都怎么过的啊 |
| [17:03] | Just sit, fucking antsy, all day long, | 就整天跟那儿坐着嘀咕吗 |
| [17:05] | “when are we gonna get to that amusement place? | “哎呀 怎么就没点乐子呢 |
| [17:08] | “amuse me. ” you should be thanking me for those movies. | 你逗逗我吧” 你们真该感谢我拍了那些电影 |
| [17:12] | “Oh! Finally, a movie. Let’s watch it together. “ | “哎呀 终于出电影了 咱们看去吧” |
| [17:14] | That’s the beauty of movies, by the way. | 这不就是电影的迷人之处吗 |
| [17:15] | You go in there and you don’t have to talk to each other. | 进去坐着 你不用和旁边的人聊天 |
| [17:17] | And it’s fun. You could stare at the screen. | 自己就能乐起来了 你们盯着屏幕就想啊 |
| [17:20] | And, “maybe we don’t hate each other | “可能我们俩过得还行吧 |
| [17:22] | ’cause we both like this movie. | 我们都喜欢这片子 |
| [17:24] | “We are connecting on that. | 这是我们的共同点哎” |
| [17:28] | “Hey, we’re still together. | “我们还过得下去 |
| [17:30] | “All these years later, we still love each other, right? | 这么多年 我们还是相爱的吧” |
| [17:33] | “During the movie, yes. | “看电影的时候是相爱的 |
| [17:35] | When the movie’s over, ‘you fucking bitch. | 等电影散场了 你他妈就是一婊子 |
| [17:38] | “‘Why am I still with you? We have nothing in common. | 我怎么还没把你甩了 我们八竿子打不着啊 |
| [17:43] | “‘Something’s missing. “‘ | 肯定有什么东西变味了” |
| [17:45] | Anyways, I have no religion. | 反正我不信教 |
| [17:47] | My parents did not believe in god. | 我父母不信上帝 |
| [17:49] | That was great. They passed that along. | 挺好的 他们也没忘了教导我 |
| [17:51] | I didn’t even have a fucking choice. | 我没什么可选的 |
| [17:52] | They were like, “nope, don’t do it. “ | 他们直接就说 “别 别信那玩意” |
| [17:55] | “Really? So, when grandpa dies he goes to heaven?” | “不能信啊 那爷爷要是死后会上天堂吗” |
| [17:57] | “Nope, he’ll be in the ground. “ | “不会 他会被埋到土里头” |
| [18:00] | “Thanks, dad. Should I sleep now? ’cause i… | “好的 老爸 我现在能不能闭眼睡觉啦 |
| [18:02] | “there’s no way I’ll have a nightmare tonight. “ | 你这么一说 我肯定不会做恶梦的” |
| [18:04] | “Fuck you. I don’t believe in nightmares, either. | “滚你的 我才不信有恶梦呢 |
| [18:07] | “Fags have nightmares. | 基佬才会做恶梦 |
| [18:10] | “If there was a god, why would there be a holocaust? | 要是真有上帝 大屠杀又是怎么回事 |
| [18:13] | “Go to bed, son. Pleasant dreams. “ | 睡吧小子 做个好梦” |
| [18:15] | Simmons is getting a little dark. | 有点黑色幽默啊 |
| [18:16] | What is he doing? | 这都什么跟什么 |
| [18:19] | When you hear the waitress’s footsteps | 当你听到服务员的脚步声 |
| [18:23] | that’s when you know you’re not doing well. | 就说明你没听明白我的笑话 |
| [18:31] | Oh, boy, it’s quiet in here. | 唉 真是冷场啊 |
| [18:36] | You hear that? | 听见没 |
| [18:40] | I think I can hear the freeway. | 静得我都能听见公路上的声音了 |
| [18:44] | Hello! I’m Ira Wright. | 大家好 我是艾拉・莱特 |
| [18:47] | I’m not good-looking and I’m not bad-looking. | 我不帅也不丑 |
| [18:51] | I’m kind of right in the middle. | 算是相貌平平吧 |
| [18:52] | So, like, if I had a good personality, | 要是我个性再好点 |
| [18:55] | That might make it so girls really liked me, | 可能就有姑娘喜欢我了 |
| [18:57] | But I don’t. so… | 可我没啥个性 |
| [19:02] | Okay. George Simmons. wow. | 乔治・西蒙斯 真牛啊 |
| [19:05] | Now what do we do? | 这还让我们怎么活啊 |
| [19:07] | He seems unhappy with his money. Give it to me, I’ll… | 他富得流油还不高兴 要换了我 |
| [19:10] | I could really spend that. | 我会花得恰到好处 |
| [19:15] | If he’s depressed with his life, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. | 要是他对人生沮丧 那我还有什么活头 |
| [19:17] | I live on my friend’s pull-out couch. | 我还睡在我朋友的沙发上呢 |
| [19:20] | So, anyway, I… Wait, did you hear that? | 那我… 听到了吗 |
| [19:23] | Yeah, George Simmons just shot himself in the face backstage. | 我觉着他刚才在后台破相了 |
| [19:26] | It’s sad knowing merman’s crying inside. | 小美人鱼偷偷哭泣咯 |
| [19:29] | Uh-oh! | 啊哦 |
| [19:30] | Is he organizing a mass suicide? Is that where you’re going? | 他组织集体自杀吗 你也要去吗 |
| [19:33] | Are you joining him? | 要步他后尘啦 |
| [19:34] | Save some kool-aid for me. Just do it. | 行 倒是省了我的口水了 去吧去吧 |
| [19:37] | Don’t worry, | 没事儿的 |
| [19:38] | The next guy who’s coming out | 下一个登场的哥们 |
| [19:39] | has a dove hidden up his asshole, so… | 屁股后头还藏了只鸽子 |
| [19:41] | And then Robin Williams is gonna slit his wrists out here. | 估计是想逼得罗宾・威廉姆斯在这割腕自杀 |
| [19:43] | So, that’s nice, also. | 有何不可呢 |
| [19:45] | I am Ira Wright, everybody. | 我是艾拉・莱特 |
| [19:47] | Thank you, very much. Have a good night. | 谢谢大家 祝今晚愉快 |
| [19:54] | Give me a break. | 有没有搞错啊 |
| [20:01] | Yo! Hey! Hey! | 说你呢 嘿 |
| [20:08] | This fucking guy. | 是你臭小子 |
| [20:11] | What’s up? | 有何贵干 |
| [20:13] | Hey. I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [20:17] | I’m parked right on the other side of you and I can’t get in. | 我车停在那边 你挡住我了 |
| [20:20] | What, you come here to make some jokes to my face now? | 所以你就过来再嘲弄我的脸是吗 |
| [20:22] | You’re hard to follow. I didn’t know what to say. | 你那段很难接 我想不出来才那么说的 |
| [20:24] | – I’m sorry about that. – No, don’t be. | -对不起啊 -没事儿 |
| [20:26] | I would’ve done the same. You had to comment on it. | 我也会那么干的 评论几句才能接着讲嘛 |
| [20:30] | Yeah, you had some funny shit. | 对了 你那段挺好的 |
| [20:32] | You’re a good writer. | 写得不错 |
| [20:33] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [20:35] | Your friend… is that your friend? The fatter version of you? | 那人是你朋友吗 那个胖版的你 |
| [20:39] | He’s my roommate. Yeah, he’s really funny. | 那是我舍友 他真挺滑稽的 |
| [20:41] | You got good stuff. You’re gonna be all right. | 你们都挺有料的 好好干 我看好你 |
| [20:44] | Wow, that is so nice of you to say, man. | 哥们 你能这么说我真是太荣幸了 |
| [20:46] | That’s so… I appreciate it. Hey! | 真是太… 非常感谢你 |
| [20:48] | You know, well, I’ve been a really big fan of yours. All of us. | 你知道么 我们都非常崇拜你 |
| [20:50] | We kind of grew up on your shit and, you know, incidentally. | 还有啊 我们都是听着你的段子长大的 |
| [20:53] | So, that’s so nice of you to say, man. Thanks. | 你这么说我真是太感谢了 谢谢你啊 |
| [20:57] | Thank you! | 万分感谢 |
| [20:59] | Nice to meet you, man! | 见到你太棒了 哥们 |
| [21:02] | You’re gonna die! | 你会惨死 |
| [21:06] | And I’m gonna kill you! | 凶手就是我 |
| [21:12] | Man, that was awesome. | 真酷哎 |
| [21:25] | Cats. | 就几只猫 |
| [21:27] | Can you dig it? | 你会这么做吗 |
| [21:29] | Just a bunch of cats. | 就这么简单 拍拍这几只猫 |
| [21:31] | Then me doing stuff. | 再拍我做几个动作 |
| [21:33] | Then back to the cats doing stuff. | 再拍它们做动作 |
| [21:36] | You’ve gotten 700,000 hits in four days from this? | 这么个玩意 四天就骗倒了70万点击率啊 |
| [21:39] | Yep. If you put “cute kitten” in the title of your youtube video, | 你随便往YouTube上传段视频 写上”可爱猫咪” |
| [21:43] | You’re gonna get a million hits. Mmm-hmm. | 挣个百万点击率没问题 |
| [21:45] | And then I link that to my website | 我还把这视频连到了个人主页上 |
| [21:46] | And you can see my stand-up on my website. It’s genius. | 人家就能看我表演了 我就是一天才 |
| [21:49] | Why don’t you just call it like, “Megan Fox blows someone”? | 你干嘛不直接写上”梅根・福克斯吹箫”呢 |
| [21:52] | And then more people would google that. | 这样人家一搜她 就也能搜到你了 |
| [21:55] | Hi. I’ve got two girls coming over here in a little bit. | 有俩妞一会要来找我 |
| [21:58] | Can you fold up your bed, please, into the couch? | 你能不能把床折回沙发里去 |
| [22:00] | I don’t want the place to look like a mess when they get here. | 我不想让她们看见这乱得一塌糊涂 |
| [22:02] | Okay, I’m sorry. I was watching this thing. | 好的 我刚在看这视频来着 |
| [22:05] | All right? Okay. | 快点好吧 |
| [22:08] | Hello? | 喂 |
| [22:10] | Hey, this is George Simmons. | 你好 我是乔治・西蒙斯 |
| [22:13] | Fuck you, Craig. what’s happening, man? | 你妈的 克雷格 有屁快放 |
| [22:15] | It’s not your dumb-ass friend Craig. it’s George Simmons. | 我不是你狗友克雷格 我是乔治・西蒙斯 |
| [22:20] | Oh! | 噢 |
| [22:21] | I’m sorry. hey. Hey, how’s it going, man? | 对不起对不起 最近过得怎么样 |
| [22:24] | Hey, hey, good job last night. You guys were pretty funny. | 还行啊 昨晚你说得不错 你们很幽默 |
| [22:27] | You and the triple-xl version of you. | 那个比你胖三倍的哥们也是 |
| [22:30] | Oh, yeah, thank… thank you. That’s.. .I… well, I appreciate that. | 噢 谢谢 我 我很感激 |
| [22:34] | You guys are all right. Good job. I… | 你们真挺不错的 干得好 |
| [22:37] | I’m doing this corporate gig for Myspace | 聚友网搞活动 找我去做表演 |
| [22:41] | And I’m gonna need some jokes and shit. | 所以我现在得找点段子来 |
| [22:44] | I was thinking maybe you guys would want to write me some. | 我想说不定你们能帮我写几个 |
| [22:49] | You know, he’s kind of a flaky guy, but I’m… | 我那朋友有点古怪 可能不大乐意 |
| [22:52] | I’ve got nothing going on, man. | 不过我最近倒挺空闲的 |
| [22:54] | I would… I’d love to do that. sure. Totally. I’m in. | 我非常愿意参与 算上我吧 |
| [22:58] | What kind of jokes do you need? | 你想要什么样的段子呢 |
| [22:59] | Just shit about them or computers or whatever they like. | 随便 网民啦电脑啦 对他们的胃口就行 |
| [23:02] | When you sprinkle a little lemon there, | 随便写点都可以 |
| [23:04] | they get excited, you know. | 把他们忽悠过去 |
| [23:06] | That’s no problem. That makes sense. | 了解了 有道理 |
| [23:08] | So, you want to be held accountable, | 你放手写就行了 |
| [23:09] | come watch me do them tomorrow? | 明天就来看我表演吧 |
| [23:10] | – I’ll take you to the gig. – Okay, cool, yeah. | -我来接你去 -好的 没问题 |
| [23:12] | How should i… how should i… how should I get them to you? | 那我 那我怎么把段子发给你呢 |
| [23:15] | I can give you my fax number and my e-mail. | 传真也行 电邮也行啊 |
| [23:18] | What’s your e-mail? | 你邮箱多少 |
| [23:19] | My e-mail? | 我的邮箱啊 |
| [23:21] | It’s irasexira@yahoo. com. | 饥渴的艾拉(英文原意)@yahoo.com |
| [23:30] | Wow. I’m just… I’m starting to reconsider asking you. | 天呐 我是不是请错人了 |
| [23:33] | Don’t do that. It’s from high school. It was funny then. | 别这么说嘛 这是我高中注册的 风靡一时呢 |
| [23:35] | Yeah, you should change it. | 是么 你还是换个邮箱吧 |
| [23:36] | It’s, like, 13 years old. Okay, I will. | 用了13年了都 好的 我过一段就换 |
| [23:38] | I mean change it now. | 马上就换 |
| [23:40] | Okay, I’ll change it, I’ll change it asap. | 好的好的 我换 马上换 |
| [23:43] | Okay, don’t say “asap,” either. | 好的 以后别说”马上的”了 |
| [23:45] | And don’t say “i’m chilling” or | 什么”我爽了” |
| [23:46] | “it’s all good” or any of that stuff. | “大家好才是真的好”都别说 |
| [23:49] | Okay, I don’t. I don’t chill anyway, so I won’t. | 好的 不说了 反正我也没多爽过 |
| [23:52] | And it’s not all good, so don’t worry. | 也没什么好的 我不会说了 |
| [23:54] | – Okay, Ira. – Okay. | -那就这么着吧艾拉 -行 |
| [23:56] | All right, Ira. | 拜拜啦艾拉 |
| [24:01] | Guys, that was George Simmons on the phone. | 同志们 这电话是乔治・西蒙斯打来的哎 |
| [24:04] | He saw me do stand-up. | 他那天看见我讲笑话 |
| [24:06] | He thinks I’m funny! He wants me to write jokes for him! | 觉着我讲得挺不错 还让我帮他写段子哎 |
| [24:08] | – What? – Yep! | -真的假的 -真的 |
| [24:10] | Why? | 干嘛找你啊 |
| [24:11] | Why? He thinks I’m funny! | 他觉得我幽默嘛 |
| [24:13] | This doesn’t make any sense at all. | 这根本说不通嘛 |
| [24:15] | No? | 怎么就说不通了 |
| [24:16] | Jeez, I gotta get started. | 我得马上开工了 |
| [24:19] | What is happening? | 怎么回事这是 |
| [24:20] | You forgot about the bed! | 你还没拾掇床呢 |
| [24:24] | Friends. Friends on Myspace. Nerds. | 朋友 聚友网上的朋友 怪人 |
| [24:27] | Nerds… nerds have no friends in real life. | 怪人在现实中都没朋友 |
| [24:29] | The more friends on myspace, | 网上越生猛 |
| [24:31] | the less friends you have in real life. | 网下越寂寞 |
| [24:33] | “How does the softball team at myspace work? | “聚友网上的垒球队怎么选人的 |
| [24:35] | “does everyone get picked last?” that could be funny. | 阿猫阿狗都能打吗?” 不错吧 |
| [24:38] | At some point, you should have George say, “fuck Facebook!” | 你应该让乔治骂几句”干他的脸谱网” |
| [24:40] | “Fuck Facebook in the face!” | “干他那张脸谱大脸” |
| [24:43] | So, like, that’s funny. All right, tell George I wrote that, okay? | 之类的 肯定好玩 别忘了跟他说是我写的啊 |
| [24:47] | – Totally. totally, man. – You gotta be like, | -当然 -别忘了写上 |
| [24:48] | – “Leo wrote that.” Yeah. – No, no, no, totally. | -“这句话是里昂写的” -没问题 |
| [25:04] | Hey, Ira, I think this is him! | 艾拉 应该是他来了 |
| [25:10] | He’s got a limo! | 豪华轿车哎 |
| [25:11] | Can we go out and meet him? | 我们能去和他打个招呼吗 |
| [25:12] | No, no, no. You can’t say hi to him. | 不 不 你们不能去 |
| [25:14] | Just let me get in with him a little more | 等我和他熟络了 |
| [25:16] | Before I introduce people to him. | 我再把你们介绍给他 |
| [25:17] | Don’t kiss his ass too hard, all right? | 马屁别拍得太狠了啊 |
| [25:18] | Stars hate it when you kiss their ass too hard. | 明星最烦有人马屁拍得过火 |
| [25:21] | – I hate it when people kiss my ass too hard. – You do? | -我也烦人家拍我马屁 -是吗 |
| [25:23] | You hate it when people kiss your ass too hard? | 你也会烦噢 |
| [25:24] | I hate it. | 很烦的 |
| [25:34] | Man! | 挺精神嘛 |
| [25:35] | Hey. I feel like we’re going to prom. | 这像是要去舞会啊 |
| [25:38] | Okay, well, we’re not. Okay, let’s hit it! | 是吗 可惜不是 出发吧 |
| [25:43] | This is good. I like this one | 写得不错 我喜欢这段 |
| [25:45] | About the guy from Myspace and the | 就是一个聚友网的用户 |
| [25:46] | guy from Craigslist getting into a fight. | 和克雷格列表(信息发布网站)的用户大打出手这段 |
| [25:49] | That’s funny. | 非常搞笑 |
| [25:50] | You’re excited. | 你相当的兴奋嘛 |
| [25:51] | I am excited. | 我非常的激动 |
| [25:52] | Yeah, that’s good. It’s good to be excited. | 能够兴奋起来是件好事 |
| [25:54] | I used to be excited. | 我过去也这样 |
| [25:55] | Well, it’s awesome. It’s exciting. | 实在是太棒了 太令人兴奋了 |
| [26:05] | Wow! | 哇呜 |
| [26:14] | Thank you! | 谢谢 |
| [26:26] | Yeah! | 你好 |
| [26:29] | Brought the nice legs with you. Good job. | 这双腿真漂亮 好样的 |
| [26:31] | – Hello, hello. – Good to see you, sir. | -你好 -很高兴见到你先生 |
| [26:33] | -Welcome aboard. – Thank you. | -欢迎登机 -谢谢 |
| [26:35] | – The name’s Dave. – Hi, dave. | -我叫戴夫 -你好戴夫 |
| [26:36] | We may hit a few bumps up there, | 飞行中可能会有些颠簸 |
| [26:37] | Nothing too crazy. We’ll get you there. | 不过放心 我们会安全抵达的 |
| [26:38] | Okay, cool! All right. | 非常好 没问题 |
| [26:39] | – Hope you enjoy Chinese food. – I love it! | -希望你喜欢中国菜 -我非常喜欢 |
| [26:41] | – Very good. Enjoy your flight. – Thank you. | -太好了 旅途愉快 -谢谢 |
| [26:44] | Wow! | 哇 |
| [26:50] | You guys were a little late, so we | 你们有点迟到了 |
| [26:51] | had to put up James Taylor first. | 所以我让詹姆斯・泰勒先顶上了 |
| [26:52] | Karen, she’s a silver sun | 卡伦似一轮银色的太阳 |
| [26:55] | You’d best walk her way and watch it shine | 在旁欣赏她的夺目光彩 |
| [27:00] | Watch her watch the morning come | 看着她看日出的样子 |
| [27:06] | A silver tear appearing now that I’m cryin’, ain’t I | 银色热泪滚出我的眼眶 |
| [27:13] | I’m going to Carolina in my mind | 我的心已经飞到了卡罗莱纳 |
| [27:18] | How’d you guys get him? | 你们是怎么找到他的 |
| [27:19] | Everybody’s got their price. | 大家都互利互赢 |
| [27:20] | Last year, we had Roger Waters doing | 去年我们还请到了罗杰・沃特斯 |
| [27:22] | dark side of the moon. | 来演月球背面 |
| [27:24] | That love’s the finest thing around… | 爱是最美之事 |
| [27:27] | Okay, I thought it could be | 我觉得如果你上去就说 |
| [27:28] | funny if you just go, | 日脸谱网他妈 |
| [27:30] | “fuck facebook in the face!” | 一定会很有效果 |
| [27:32] | All right. Hey, you do five minutes before I go up there. | 好吧 在我上台前你要表演五分钟 |
| [27:35] | What? no. no, I can’t follow fire and rain. | 什么 我没法在《火和雨》(台上歌手唱的歌)之后上场 |
| [27:37] | Are you kidding me, man? | 你在开玩笑吗 |
| [27:39] | I can’t follow it, either. That’s why you’re going up there. | 我也做不到 所以才叫你上场 |
| [27:41] | Oh, yeah | 噢 |
| [27:52] | Thank you, myspace! | 谢谢 聚友网的朋友们 |
| [27:57] | Fuck facebook! | 傻逼脸谱网 |
| [28:01] | I can’t believe that. He did the facebook joke! | 真不敢相信 他居然讲了我说的笑话 |
| [28:03] | Yeah! He did the facebook… | 他骂了脸谱网 |
| [28:05] | I can’t follow this, man. I can’t go on right now. | 我不能在他之后上台 真的不行 |
| [28:07] | Give me this shit. Get up there. Be a man. | 把这个给我 上去吧 别婆婆妈妈 |
| [28:13] | This is a pretty big room. | 这屋子真大啊 |
| [28:17] | Lot of people here. | 好多人啊 |
| [28:19] | Let’s have another round of | 请各位再次为詹姆斯・泰勒 |
| [28:22] | applause for James Taylor, everybody. | 鼓掌喝采 |
| [28:30] | Yeah, do you actually use Myspace? | 你真的用过聚友网吗 |
| [28:33] | No, no, no. I fuck girls, Tom. I don’t have time for that. | 我时间都用来泡妞了 没时间干别的 |
| [28:37] | I wonder if Tom and Craig | 我在想来自克雷格列表的 |
| [28:38] | from craigslist | 汤姆和克雷格 |
| [28:39] | Would ever get in a fight with each other. | 会一直争吵不休 |
| [28:41] | Who would win that fight? That’s what I want to know. | 那么谁会赢呢 我很想知道 |
| [28:49] | Tom or Craig, who’s tougher? | 汤姆和克雷格谁更厉害一些 |
| [28:51] | Tom has more friends, so that’s probably good. | 汤姆有更多的哥们 所以他可能牛一些 |
| [28:55] | Craig has weirder friends, though. | 然而克雷格的朋友都很怪异 |
| [28:58] | Craig has friends that are willing to do a lot more for cash. | 但是我认为克雷格的朋友 |
| [29:01] | I will say that. | 为了钱什么都干 |
| [29:08] | Eh? | 怎么回事 |
| [29:10] | What the fuck was that all about? | 这到底是他妈的怎么回事 |
| [29:11] | You did all the jokes you wrote for me. | 你把给我写的笑话都用了 |
| [29:12] | Oh, man, I know. I’m sorry. I panicked. It’s all they wanted. | 对不起 我太慌了 他们想听这些 |
| [29:15] | They just wanted myspace jokes. They didn’t want… | 他们想听脸谱网的笑话 不想听 |
| [29:16] | That’s why I hired you to write me Myspace jokes. | 这正是我雇你给我写笑话的原因 |
| [29:17] | I know, I’m sorry. That one, I didn’t tell that one. | 非常抱歉 这个 这个我刚才没说 |
| [29:19] | That one will work. | 这个肯定有效 |
| [29:20] | I guarantee you. | 我保证 |
| [29:21] | It better work. They’re paying me 300 grand. | 最好是这样 他们可付了我三十万呢 |
| [29:23] | – Mr. George Simmons! – Really? | -有请乔治・西蒙斯 -真的假的 |
| [29:29] | Thank you. Thank you. All right, Tom, Thank you. | 谢谢 谢谢你 汤姆 |
| [29:33] | Good evening, nerds! Yes! | 晚上好 讨厌鬼们 |
| [29:37] | What about Ira, everybody? | 艾拉如何 各位 |
| [29:38] | How’d you feel about Ira Wright? Yeah. | 你们觉得艾拉・莱特段子说得如何 |
| [29:40] | That guy, man. | 就是那个人 |
| [29:42] | He is such a fucking nerd, | 他整个一讨厌鬼 |
| [29:43] | I can’t believe he doesn’t work with you people. | 真不敢相信他不是你们的一员 |
| [29:47] | Tom started myspace just to get friends, I know it. | 汤姆开通聚友网是为了交朋友 |
| [29:51] | So, they say the more friends you have on myspace, | 所以有人说在聚友网上朋友越多 |
| [29:53] | The less friends you have in real life. you know? | 真实生活中的朋友就越少 |
| [29:57] | “I have 100,000 friends on myspace! | 我在聚友网上有十万个朋友 |
| [30:01] | “Yes! | 太好了 |
| [30:03] | “Isn’t that great? | 不值得庆祝吗 |
| [30:05] | I have so many friends on the computer. “ | 我的电脑里有如此多的朋友 |
| [30:08] | “What are you doing tonight?” | 你今晚准备干吗 |
| [30:09] | “I’ll be on the computer. | 上网 |
| [30:12] | “That’s what I do. “ | 只是上上网 |
| [30:17] | I hate the new generation of coolness out there. | 我很讨厌那些冷淡的新新人类 |
| [30:20] | You just never get any information out of people you talk to, | 你和他们聊天什么都聊不出 |
| [30:24] | The youngsters. | 这些年轻人啊 |
| [30:25] | “Hey, what are you doing?” “Just chilling. “ | 嘿 你干吗呢 混而已 |
| [30:27] | All right. I know, you’re chilling. | 好吧 我知道你在混什么 |
| [30:31] | “What’re you doing tonight?” “Things. ” “Okay. “ | 你今晚准备干什么 办事 好吧 |
| [30:35] | I like dumb people, you know. | 我喜欢那些人渣 |
| [30:37] | They like to talk to you. | 他们反而喜欢和你聊 |
| [30:38] | “Hey, what’s going on?” “I like lollypops. “ | 嘿 发生什么了 我喜欢棒棒糖 |
| [30:42] | “Good. “ | 好吧 |
| [30:46] | “My favorite color is butterscotch. “ | 我最喜欢的是奶油糖果 |
| [30:50] | Do you ever get tired of singing the same songs, | 你唱同一首歌不会腻吗 |
| [30:53] | you know, over and over? | 一遍一遍的唱 |
| [30:56] | Do you ever get tired of talking about your dick? | 你会厌烦拿自己的小弟弟当笑料吗 |
| [31:00] | Yeah, I don’t like… I don’t like blowjobs very much. | 我不太 不太喜欢口交 |
| [31:02] | I don’t like… A lot of guys like the blowjobs, | 我不喜欢 可很多人却喜欢 |
| [31:04] | I don’t love them. | 我不喜欢 |
| [31:05] | I never know what to do with my hands. You know? | 因为我不知道手放在哪 |
| [31:08] | I’m always like… | 我总是这样 |
| [31:12] | You can either go hands on the hips or the salute is fun. | 你只能把手插腰或者用来敬礼 |
| [31:20] | Yeah, it’s always shocking when a girl blows you. | 这经常让给你吹箫的女孩很受伤 |
| [31:22] | You’re like, “Really? You want to do it? All right. “ | 你会说 你真的想搞吗 好吧 |
| [31:25] | I got some advice for the ladies out there. | 我从一些女人那得到了如下建议 |
| [31:26] | When you are performing that act on a fellow don’t ever say, | 当你帮别人吹箫时千万不要说 |
| [31:31] | “You know, you’re the first guy | 你是第一个我能把你整个 |
| [31:33] | I ever got the whole thing in my mouth. | 小弟弟赛进嘴里的男人 |
| [31:36] | “Normally, normally, I get, like, | 通常我进行到一半时 |
| [31:38] | Halfway down and I just start fucking choking, | 就会他妈的喘不过气 |
| [31:42] | “But with you, I got a ball in my mouth! | 可我却能把你的睾丸含在嘴里 |
| [31:47] | “That’s never happened! | 这从来没发生过 |
| [31:50] | “Look, I have him in my mouth right now, | 快看 我现在正含着呢 |
| [31:53] | and I’m speaking perfectly clear. | 而且还可以清楚的说话 |
| [31:57] | “Normally I have a stutter. “ | 通常我没法说话的 |
| [32:01] | That wasn’t a pee, that was a shit. That took too long. | 你不是小便是大便去了吧 太久了 |
| [32:04] | Here’s 1,000 bucks. Good job. | 这是一千块 干的不错 |
| [32:06] | Thank you so much, man. | 谢谢你 哥们 |
| [32:08] | I’ve never made this much money doing anything, | 我从来都没挣过这么多钱 |
| [32:10] | Man. Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [32:11] | Good. I’m thinking about doing a lot more stand-up. | 我打算去很多地方表演单口喜剧 |
| [32:14] | Okay. | 很好 |
| [32:15] | And my assistant got pregnant. | 而且我的助手怀孕了 |
| [32:17] | I didn’t even know she… I thought she was a fucking lesbian | 我都不知道 我本以为她是女同性恋 |
| [32:20] | The whole time, but… | 我一直这么认为 |
| [32:21] | They can get pregnant, too. | 那她们也能怀孕 |
| [32:23] | That’s nice. That’s very nice. Yeah. | 好吧 那非常不错 |
| [32:25] | So, you want to kind of assist me, you know? | 所以你想当我的助手吗 |
| [32:28] | – Yeah! yeah. – I mean, not, not… | -当然 -不是搞同性恋 |
| [32:30] | I mean, you can write jokes for me, too, | 我是说你可以帮我写段子 |
| [32:31] | But get me sodas… | 给我拿点喝的 |
| [32:32] | Whatever you need, man! | 非常乐意 |
| [32:33] | And, like, clean my shit up and… yeah. | 还有帮我收拾残局之类的 |
| [32:35] | How much money you make now? | 你现在这一赚多少钱 |
| [32:36] | It depends on how many hours. | 要看我干多少小时了 |
| [32:38] | Usually, I can get about… | 平时我能挣 |
| [32:39] | I’ll give you 1,500 bucks a week. | 我一周给你一千五百块 |
| [32:41] | That’s amazing, man. Thank you so much. | 太棒了 非常感谢 |
| [32:43] | You want to fuck these two girls? | 你想搞这两个女孩吗 |
| [32:46] | Hey, the JT. | 嘿 JT |
| [32:49] | George. That was the best. You killed them. | 乔治 太棒了 他们爱死你了 |
| [32:51] | Ira. | 艾拉 |
| [32:52] | Hello. Yes, Mr. Taylor. Yes, hello. | 你好 泰勒先生 你好 |
| [32:54] | You wanna fuck these girls? | 你想搞那些女孩吗 |
| [32:55] | I filled my quota in 1982, I believe. | 1982年我的配额就已经满了 |
| [33:00] | All right, I’ll have to figure this shit out. | 好吧 我理解你 |
| [33:01] | I know those girls. | 我认识她们 |
| [33:02] | You do? Do you want to meet those girls? | 你认识 你想认识那些女孩吗 |
| [33:04] | Will you fucking settle down? Yeah, talk to them. Be gentle. | 你真能搞定 去和他们谈谈 礼貌点 |
| [33:06] | You’re twitching like a fucking madman. | 你现在抖的像个娘们 |
| [33:08] | That guy in porno? | 那人在搞色情杂志吗 |
| [33:10] | No. No? I would know. | 不知道 我也想知道 |
| [33:16] | – Mandy. – Well, hi there. | -曼迪 -你好 |
| [33:18] | You’re still swimming? Get the fuck out of there. | 你还游泳 快他妈上来 |
| [33:20] | I’m ready for you. | 我已经蓄势待发了 |
| [33:22] | Yeah. Oh, my god. | 耶 天啊 |
| [33:25] | Oh, god. Feel that stomach. Oh. yeah. | 天啊 感觉到我的肚子了吗 |
| [33:27] | I like that thing. Good. Well, go for it. | 我喜欢这样 来吧 |
| [33:29] | It’s hard. Bam! | 我会用力的 叭 |
| [33:33] | This house is crazy. | 这个房子太牛逼了 |
| [33:34] | Oh, yeah, you got to see the whole thing. | 是啊 给你看看更牛逼的 |
| [33:36] | Come here. It came furnished. | 上来 都布置好了 |
| [33:38] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [33:40] | That’s my man, Ira. He wrote a lot of | 那是我的助手艾拉 |
| [33:41] | good jokes for me there, honey. | 他给我写了很多好段子 |
| [33:43] | Make sure he shows you his cock. It’s very, very thick. | 你一定得看看他的小弟弟 非常非常粗 |
| [33:47] | See you, George. | 拜拜 乔治 |
| [33:54] | Hey, wanna have a contest to see | 咱们来比比谁憋气 |
| [33:56] | who can hold their breath the longest? | 憋得久吧 |
| [34:10] | You didn’t go under. | 你都没下去 |
| [34:13] | Nothing’s gonna happen between us. | 咱们之间什么都不会发生 |
| [34:18] | I can’t believe I’m having sex with George Simmons. | 真不敢相信我居然和乔治・西蒙斯做爱 |
| [34:21] | Yeah, he can’t believe it, either. | 你爸爸也不会相信的 |
| [34:23] | My dad loves your movies. | 我爸爸喜欢你的电影 |
| [34:26] | Yeah, that’s the best when you talk about your dad. | 你爸爸能和你说这些很不错 |
| [34:38] | Dad, this won’t bring mom back! | 爸爸 妈妈不会因为这个回来的 |
| [34:41] | I have nothing else! | 我什么都没有了 |
| [34:44] | You’re a champion, Dad! You’re a champion! | 你是冠军 爸爸 你是冠军 |
| [34:53] | Oh! You’re still here. | 你怎么还在这 |
| [34:56] | I know that asshole. | 我认识那个屁眼 |
| [34:58] | You two were just fucking, huh? How’d that go? | 你们刚才已经搞完了吧 怎么样 |
| [35:00] | No, I have a boyfriend. We already talked about it. | 没有 我们已经谈过了 我有男朋友 |
| [35:04] | Yeah. John. Yeah. | 是啊 他叫约翰 |
| [35:06] | Your friend took off. She thought you left, so… | 你朋友走了 她以为你走了 |
| [35:09] | Really? | 真的假的 |
| [35:10] | That’s what happens in a big house. | 大房子里经常出现这种情况 |
| [35:11] | It’s called “the big house problem. “ | 传说中的”大房子问题” |
| [35:13] | Your friend actually left her purse down the hall. | 你朋友把钱包落在门厅了 |
| [35:15] | You want to go get it with me? | 咱们一起去拿吧 |
| [35:17] | Oh. Okay. | 哦 好的 |
| [35:23] | Don’t you leave on me, Ira. | 你别跟过来 艾拉 |
| [35:25] | Fuck me like merman! | 像雄人鱼一样搞我 |
| [35:27] | Come on! Do merman! Do the merman call! | 来 学人鱼 学人鱼叫 |
| [35:30] | Come on! | 来啊 |
| [35:31] | Oh, yeah! yeah! Oh, god! | 啊 啊 啊 天啊 |
| [35:39] | Hey. Oh. hey. | 嘿 哦 嘿 |
| [35:41] | Sorry about the chick, man. I… | 抱歉那个小妞 我 |
| [35:43] | You weren’t getting it done, so something had to happen. | 你没搞成 所以我得去搞 |
| [35:46] | Oh, that’s… No, she… I wasn’t even trying. | 没有 她 我甚至没去尝试 |
| [35:48] | She told me she had a boyfriend. | 她说她有男朋友 |
| [35:50] | Oh, yeah. She told me she had a boyfriend, too. | 她帮我吹箫的时候 |
| [35:53] | When she was sucking my cock! | 她也告诉我她有男朋友了 |
| [36:00] | What the fuck are you doing with that big dick of yours? | 你留着那么大的鸡鸡不用干嘛使 |
| [36:02] | You gotta use it! You gotta share thickie with the world. | 你得用它 你得和全世界分享它 |
| [36:06] | I don’t… It’s normal. | 我不能 这很正常 |
| [36:07] | You want to go upstairs, man? | 你想上楼在我睡着前 |
| [36:10] | Talk to me while I try to fall asleep? | 跟我聊聊吗 |
| [36:12] | Okay, if… Yeah, if that’s what you want me to do. | 没问题 如果你想让我这么做的话 |
| [36:15] | Yeah, yeah. Sit down, man. That was a fun night. | 坐下 今晚玩的真开心 |
| [36:20] | That was a good night. | 今晚确实很开心 |
| [36:21] | Yeah, that was crazy. | 不过太疯狂了 |
| [36:22] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [36:23] | So, you slept with both those girls, man. | 所以你把两个姑娘都搞了 |
| [36:27] | How did you do that? | 你怎么做到的 |
| [36:29] | How did I do that? There’s this… | 我怎么做到的 因为 |
| [36:30] | Girls like famous guys. | 女孩喜欢名人 |
| [36:32] | It’s a story for them, I guess. I don’t know. | 这对她们来说就像传奇 |
| [36:35] | I take advantage of it, though. | 而我正好利用了这种想法 |
| [36:36] | Believe me, they always leave disappointed. | 相信我 她们总是失望而归 |
| [36:39] | That’s amazing. | 真让人吃惊 |
| [36:43] | Yeah, yeah, so let me hear about this name, Ira Wright. | 谈谈你自己的名字 艾拉・莱特 |
| [36:46] | That’s not your real name, right? | 那不是你的真名 对吗 |
| [36:49] | How could you tell? | 为什么这么说 |
| [36:51] | You’re hiding some judaism. | 因为你有犹太人的味道 |
| [36:53] | No, my real last name is Wiener. | 好吧 我的真姓是维纳 |
| [36:55] | It’s Ira wiener and everyone… | 我真名叫艾拉・维纳 |
| [36:57] | It’s spelled the same as “wiener” and | 和牛肉熏香肠拼法一模一样 |
| [36:59] | I just got tired of correcting people. | 我总是得去纠正别人 |
| [37:01] | So, that’s what led you to the path of comedy. | 所以是你的名字让你走上了喜剧之路 |
| [37:03] | Being humiliated every day. First day of school, | 每天都被取笑 第一天上学的时候 |
| [37:07] | “Is Ira Wiener here?” | 艾拉・烤肠在吗 |
| [37:09] | And you were in the back. | 当时你在后面 |
| [37:10] | “Wiener. My name’s Wiener. “ | 维纳 我叫维纳 |
| [37:13] | You little fruit. What were your parents like? | 真可怜 谈谈你父母怎么样 |
| [37:16] | What are the older “wieners” or wieners like? | 老维纳夫妇怎么样 |
| [37:20] | My parents are divorced. | 我父母离婚了 |
| [37:21] | They hate each other. My mother thinks my father’s the devil. | 他们恨对方 我妈认为我爸是恶魔 |
| [37:27] | I don’t know what that makes me, technically, but… | 我不知道他们为什么生我 但是 |
| [37:30] | So, you’ll never be as funny as me. | 那样你就不可能像我这么幽默了 |
| [37:32] | Why not? | 为什么不行 |
| [37:33] | Your generation has the divorces, which is cute-funny, | 你这一辈经历了离婚 只有一点有趣 |
| [37:36] | But my generation has the, “Oh, my god, | 而我这一代经历的是 |
| [37:39] | My father’s about to hit me with a bat!” | 天哪 我爸要拿棒球棍打我 |
| [37:43] | I just… | 我只是 |
| [37:43] | You gotta break out the funny a lot | 现在的你比童年时悲惨的你 |
| [37:46] | Quicker than your little faggy childhood. | 可以更快的获得乐趣 |
| [37:50] | Are you serious? | 你是认真的吗 |
| [37:52] | I spent my whole childhood trying to make my father laugh. | 我整个童年都在想办法逗我爸笑 |
| [37:56] | I still haven’t succeeded, but we’ll get there. | 但我依旧没有成功 终究会成功的 |
| [38:04] | Don’t bail on me yet. Keep it coming. | 别走 继续聊天 |
| [38:09] | When’s the first time you fingered a girl? | 你第一次碰女孩子是什么时候 |
| [38:11] | I was at summer camp, | 夏令营的时候 |
| [38:13] | Jewish summer camp, on the sports field. | 犹太运动会夏令营 |
| [38:17] | And her name was Sharon Mizrahi. | 她的名字是莎伦・米兹拉希 |
| [38:23] | I didn’t know what to do. I got really scared. | 我不知道怎么办 当时吓坏我了 |
| [38:26] | She reached down and grabbed my penis really hard, | 她把我推倒然后非常使劲的攥着我小弟弟 |
| [38:30] | Like she was just trying to murder it. | 好像要把它拧断似的 |
| [38:42] | Morning. Yeah, baby. | 早上好 早 |
| [38:43] | It took me three hours, but I think I found your kitchen. | 我花了三小时才找到你的厨房 |
| [38:47] | Am I in the bathroom still? Is that it? | 这里不会是浴室吧 |
| [38:49] | No, no. You’re good. you’re safe. | 没有没有 你找到了安全了 |
| [38:51] | What do you got there? | 你拿什么来了 |
| [38:52] | This is medicine, Ira. I’m sick. | 这是药 我病了 |
| [38:55] | One of those girls have chlamydia? | 难道昨晚的其中一个有淋病 |
| [38:56] | I thought she smelled funny. | 我觉得她没病啊 |
| [38:57] | Is that what it is? Yeah. | 是这么回事吗 |
| [38:59] | I have a weird blood disease.AML. It’s a form of leukemia. | 我有种奇怪的血液病 白血病的一种 |
| [39:05] | This is experimental medicine from Canada. | 这是加拿大实验用的药 |
| [39:09] | There’s an 8% chance of it working. So, fuck me. | 8%的有效性 惨吧 |
| [39:14] | Well, that’s not true ’cause if it was, | 这不可能是真的 如果是真的 |
| [39:17] | I would’ve read about it or heard about that. | 我肯定能从新闻或报纸上读到 |
| [39:18] | You didn’t hear about it because | 你没听过因为 |
| [39:19] | I didn’t fucking run out and tell entertainment tonight. | 我还没向整个娱乐界宣布 |
| [39:23] | Well, why would you tell me? | 那你为什么告诉我 |
| [39:25] | Cause I don’t really know you, Ira. | 因为我真的不了解你 艾拉 |
| [39:26] | I think you’re not gonna get too weird about this. | 我觉得你不会对此感到奇怪 |
| [39:30] | I don’t want to start getting treated like the guy | 我不想像一个快死的人 |
| [39:32] | who’s gonna die. | 那样接受治疗 |
| [39:33] | So, anyways, This shit’s got a lot of caffeine in it. | 无所谓 这药含很多咖啡因 |
| [39:37] | They say that’s good for you. Let me take the medicine. | 他们说这是为我好 让我吃这药 |
| [39:41] | Why are you telling me this, george? | 你为什么告诉我这些 |
| [39:42] | Cause I want you to possibly do me a favor. | 因为我希望你能帮我个忙 |
| [39:45] | Okay. Yeah. What? | 行啊 什么 |
| [39:47] | Kill me. | 杀了我 |
| [39:49] | What? | 什么 |
| [39:50] | Nobody knows we know each other. | 没人知道我们彼此认识 |
| [39:51] | You’re a stranger. You can get away with this. | 你只是个路人 你不会被牵涉进来的 |
| [39:54] | I got a gun in the other room. It’s untraceable. | 我房间里有把枪 不能追踪的那种 |
| [39:57] | I’ll give you $50,000. | 我可以付你5万美金 |
| [40:00] | Don’t make me suffer. Please | 别再让我忍受这痛苦了 拜托 |
| [40:03] | Kill me, Ira. I’m begging you. | 杀了我吧 艾拉 求你了 |
| [40:07] | Can you at least give me, like, a night to think about it? | 你至少也得给我一个晚上考虑吧 |
| [40:09] | Ha! | 哈 |
| [40:10] | Think about it? You would do it! | 考虑 所以你真会杀我咯 |
| [40:12] | Oh, I hate you, man. Oh, no! | 我恨你 天哪 |
| [40:15] | Ira, I misread you. | 艾拉 我看错你了 |
| [40:17] | You’re sick! You’re a murderer! | 你心理有问题 你是个杀人凶手 |
| [40:21] | Screw you, man. | 去你的 混蛋 |
| [40:22] | You wanted to do it! | 你想杀了我 |
| [40:23] | What would you have done for $100,000? Chop my head off? | 为了10万美金你会做什么 砍掉我的头吗 |
| [40:25] | You would still want to do it! | 你还想这么做 |
| [40:27] | That wasn’t even good acting over there! | 我刚才的演技不算太好 |
| [40:29] | What the fuck? That was good acting. | 妈的 你演得跟真的一样 |
| [40:30] | Daniel day lewis would’ve crushed that speech. | 丹尼尔・戴・刘易斯要被那种演技气死了 |
| [40:32] | I bought that, man. Wow! | 我记住了 老兄 |
| [40:35] | Ira, you don’t have to kill me, but I am gonna die. | 艾拉 你不必杀我 我也快要死了 |
| [40:39] | – George, look. Honestly, I’m like… – Don’t get close, Ira. | -乔治 老实说 我是 -别靠近我 |
| [40:41] | …a really gullible guy. Don’t do this. | …很容易受骗的人 别这样对我 |
| [40:42] | Look, my friends, they trick me all the time. | 我的朋友们总喜欢开我开玩笑 |
| [40:44] | One of my roommates told me he was Joe Pesci’s son. | 我的一个室友说他是乔・派西的儿子 |
| [40:45] | I believed him for three years. I still get shit for it, | 我信了他三年 我到现在还有心理阴影 |
| [40:48] | So just, please, level with me, man. | 所以拜托跟我说实话 |
| [40:50] | – Are you serious? – I am serious, Ira. | -你不是认真的吧 -我是认真的 艾拉 |
| [40:53] | Don’t tell anybody about this though, all right? | 别把这件事告诉任何人行不 |
| [40:55] | I want it to be our secret. | 我希望这是我们之间的秘密 |
| [40:57] | Now, you’re gonna make me some eggs. Okay, murderer? | 现在你能不能去给我做点鸡蛋 杀人凶手 |
| [41:00] | Don’t say that. | 别这么叫我 |
| [41:01] | Just try not to kill any of the staff | 在我不在的时候 |
| [41:03] | While I’m gone, okay? They have families. | 别杀了任何人 他们都有亲人 |
| [41:06] | Well, he actually tricked me first, but then he showed… | 一开始他的确是在开玩笑 后来他给我看 |
| [41:08] | I mean, he’s taking medicine. | 我是说他的确在吃药 |
| [41:09] | He’s getting this special medicine from Canada. | 他从加拿大带回的特殊药品 |
| [41:12] | Oh, my god, that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. | 天哪 这是我听过最让人悲伤的事 |
| [41:14] | Yeah. I think I’m the only person he’s told. | 是啊 我觉得他只跟我说了这件事 |
| [41:18] | That’s what he said. | 他是这么说的 |
| [41:19] | I mean, he’s really… He likes me, in a weird… | 我想他真的挺喜欢我的 |
| [41:21] | I think he’s, like, taken a shine to me, you know. | 以一种怪异的方式喜欢我 |
| [41:23] | Not enough to let you in on that two-on-one. | 不至于喜欢到连这都说吧 |
| [41:26] | Come on, that’s not appropriate. | 拜托 这可不是件好事啊 |
| [41:27] | I don’t want that anyway. | 其实我也不想这样 |
| [41:30] | I just don’t know. I mean, it’s… | 我只是想不通 我觉得… |
| [41:32] | It’s really scary. I’ve never even… | 这还真有点吓人 我从没… |
| [41:34] | I don’t think I’ve known anyone who’s, like, sick, | 我从来没接触过什么生病的人 |
| [41:37] | You know, in like a major way before. I don’t… I just… | 那种病得很重的人 我只是… |
| [41:39] | George simmons. He’s been around my whole life. | 乔治・西蒙斯 我从小听着他段子长大 |
| [41:42] | It’s like snap, crackle and pop dying, you know? | 以后也许听不到了 你明白吗? |
| [41:44] | I know. | 我懂 |
| [41:45] | Can we not talk about this right now? | 我们现在能不能不要讨论这个 |
| [41:47] | I’m not really good with the whole death thing. | 我受不了那些和死亡有关的事 |
| [41:49] | Is that all right? | 行不 |
| [41:51] | I need to talk about it, man. I work for this guy now. | 我不得不说这个 兄弟 我为他工作 |
| [41:53] | I can’t… I mean, that’s all I’m… It’s all I’m thinking about. | 我做不到… 我.. 我不停地在想这个 |
| [41:56] | I’m gonna tell you this story | 那我给你个故事吧 |
| [41:58] | That makes me feel all right with death. | 它总让我觉得好过点 |
| [42:00] | When I was younger, my grandfather died | 很小的时候我的祖父死了 |
| [42:03] | And we were all gathered around him | 他死前我们都守在他的身边 |
| [42:05] | And there was this one candle next to his bed. | 他的床边放着一根蜡烛 |
| [42:08] | And right after he died, | 就在他死了的时候 |
| [42:10] | The candle started flickering and then it just went out. | 那蜡烛闪了下 然后就灭了 |
| [42:14] | – Wow. – Yeah. | -哇 -是真的 |
| [42:15] | And we looked around, and there were no windows. | 而且我们发现那房间里根本没有窗户 |
| [42:18] | Like, nothing in that room. | 房间里什么都没有 |
| [42:22] | And it sounds crazy, but we all thought | 听起来很疯狂吧 但是我们都觉得 |
| [42:24] | It was him going to heaven, you know? | 那是因为他去了天堂 |
| [42:27] | You don’t pass through fire to get to heaven. | 穿过火焰不可能是去了天堂啊 |
| [42:29] | I think he went to hell. | 我想他是下地狱了 |
| [42:31] | – What’d you just say? – I just… | – 你说什么? – 我说… |
| [42:33] | I think your grandfather probably went to hell. | 我觉得你祖父应该是下地狱了 |
| [42:35] | – Don’t do it. – Are you kidding me right now? | -别这这么说 -你是在和我开玩笑吗 |
| [42:37] | I’m… I’m sorry to break it to you. | 我… 我很抱歉让你伤心了 |
| [42:38] | You’re gonna make fun of me right now, | 当我和你们说这些的时候 |
| [42:40] | Just after I opened up to you guys like that? | 你们居然还和我开这种玩笑? |
| [42:42] | It’s not my fault your grandfather’s in hell. | 你祖父去了地狱可不是我的错 |
| [42:44] | It’s not a big deal. | 这没什么大不了的 |
| [42:45] | Some grandpas go to hell. | 有不少人祖父去了地狱呢 |
| [42:46] | Come on. Don’t be a jerk to me. | 靠 别这么混蛋 |
| [42:47] | Just because I make more money than you guys. | 就因为我赚得比你们俩多 |
| [42:49] | How much do you make again? | 你赚多少钱来着 |
| [42:51] | You guys are just projecting all your hatred onto me. | 你们就这么讨厌我啊 |
| [42:55] | Okay, and don’t be super bummed out | 别这么扫兴嘛 |
| [42:56] | ’cause your grandfather’s playing backgammon | 要知道现在你祖父正和 |
| [42:58] | with Hitler right now. | 希特勒玩双陆棋呢 |
| [42:59] | Shit, dude, don’t. | 老兄 别这样 |
| [43:04] | I gotta get rid of this stuff. | 我得把这些东西都扔了 |
| [43:07] | Man, I don’t know what I’m gonna do with it. | 老兄 我真不知道该怎么处理它们 |
| [43:11] | The more money you make, | 你赚的越多 |
| [43:11] | the more free shit they give you. | 得到免费的废物就越多 |
| [43:13] | It makes no sense. I don’t see any jet skiing in my near future. | 完全没用 又不能帮我在近期把到妹 |
| [43:18] | All this shit was free? | 这些东西全是免费的吗 |
| [43:20] | You want a TV, Ira? | 艾拉 你想要个电视机吗 |
| [43:21] | I got, like, three flat screens | 我这里差不多有 |
| [43:23] | Laying around in there somewhere. | 三个平板电视 |
| [43:24] | Sure, I can… | 当然 我可以… |
| [43:25] | Yeah, I can just take this stuff to goodwill if you want or… | 我可以把这些东西都给你 或者… |
| [43:27] | You know what? Don’t even worry about this stuff. Let’s… | 好吧 别管这些东西了 我们… |
| [43:30] | I got some cars in storage you could sell for me. | 你可以帮我把车库里的几辆车卖了 |
| [43:33] | And just give that money to charity. | 然后把钱都捐掉 |
| [43:35] | I can do that, yeah. | 我可以帮你 |
| [43:36] | I’m gonna write a list out for you, | 我要给你写一个单子 |
| [43:37] | Give you a bunch of things I want you to do. | 告诉你我要处理的东西 |
| [43:39] | What size sneaker are you? | 你穿几码的鞋 |
| [43:40] | Eleven and a half. | 十一码半 |
| [43:41] | You got that thick cock, don’t you? I want to see that thing. | 你的小弟弟应该很粗壮吧 让我看看 |
| [43:45] | Come on, pull the cock out. | 来来来 让我看看 |
| [43:46] | I’m not gonna show it to you. | 我可不会拿给你看 |
| [43:47] | What the fuck’s the matter with you? | 你他妈是怎么了 |
| [43:49] | I’m not gonna do anything with it. | 我又不会对它做什么 |
| [43:50] | I just want to know what I’m dealing with. | 我只是想知道我的对手长得啥样 |
| [43:52] | If you give me an ipod. | 除非你给我一个iPod |
| [43:53] | You asshole. | 你个混蛋 |
| [43:54] | All right, you can have anything in here, | 好吧 这里的东西你可以随便拿 |
| [43:56] | But you gotta take the merman poster. | 不过你必须得拿走这张游泳男的海报 |
| [43:58] | No, I want… I love merman! | 好啊 我想… 我爱游泳男 |
| [44:00] | I knew you loved merman. | 我就知道你喜欢 |
| [44:01] | You and five-year-olds love merman. | 你和五岁的孩子都喜欢游泳男 |
| [44:04] | It’s a smart movie. | 这是部不错的电影 |
| [44:07] | So, which, specifically, of the cars | 呃 到底哪些车属于 |
| [44:10] | Belong to George Simmons? | 乔治・西蒙斯 |
| [44:12] | – Which one? – Yeah. | -哪一辆 -嗯 |
| [44:14] | All of them. | 全是他的 |
| [44:16] | – All of them? – Yeah. | -全是他的吗 -没错 |
| [44:17] | Well… | 呃… |
| [44:19] | How would I go about selling? | 那我要怎么卖啊 |
| [44:22] | – Selling them? – Yeah. | -卖车 -是啊 |
| [44:24] | Well, I don’t know about selling them | 我不知道怎么卖 |
| [44:25] | but I can make a few disappear. | 但是我能让一小部分消失 |
| [44:27] | You know what I’m saying? | 你懂我的意思吧 |
| [44:29] | I don’t want to do that. | 我可不想那样做 |
| [44:30] | I don’t want to do that, either. | 我也不想 |
| [44:33] | Just kidding. | 开个玩笑罢了 |
| [44:40] | Scene D is up! Let’s go on a bell. Yo Teach…! | 第四幕准备 铃声准备 《无厘头课堂》 |
| [44:44] | And action! | 开拍 |
| [44:46] | All right now… Bradford! | 好了现在… 布拉德福 |
| [44:48] | Yeah? What is this? | 嗯 啥事儿 |
| [44:51] | Bo’s English test. | 波的英语考试卷 |
| [44:53] | Well, there’s a mistake. | 你弄错了吧 |
| [44:55] | Well, yeah, there are lots of mistakes. | 的确 他错了很多 |
| [44:57] | That’s why there’s an F on it. | 也就是为什么他得了一个F |
| [44:58] | You know, if Bo doesn’t pass, | 你知道 如果波考试没过关 |
| [45:01] | he can’t play in the big game Friday. | 他就不能参加周五的球赛了 |
| [45:02] | Either you make this right, | 要么让他通过 |
| [45:04] | Or you’ll be spending the summer | 要么你今年夏天就得去 |
| [45:06] | Teaching driver’s ED. Honk, honk! | 驾校当老师咯 叭叭 |
| [45:10] | Shit. | 什么东西 |
| [45:11] | I can’t be a part of this. I’m not… | 我受不了了 我… |
| [45:13] | Yeah. I’m gonna go. | 我要走了 |
| [45:15] | This is just so painful, though, isn’t it? | 这真是太煎熬了 |
| [45:17] | Yes, I want to kill myself. | 的确 我真想自杀了 |
| [45:20] | So, where are you from, originally? | 你是哪里人 |
| [45:21] | You just moved here, right? | 你应该是刚搬来的吧 |
| [45:23] | Yep. Delaware. | 没错 特拉华州 |
| [45:24] | Delaware! Our first state in the union. | 特拉华 美国的第一个州 |
| [45:27] | Yes, it is. | 没错 |
| [45:29] | That’s great. No sales tax in Delaware, right? | 真棒 你们州不用交销售税是吧 |
| [45:31] | Yeah, there’s not. That’s weird. | 嗯哼 是的 真奇怪 |
| [45:33] | You know so much about Delaware. | 你怎么知道这么多关于特拉华州的事 |
| [45:35] | You fucking Joe Biden? | 你该不会是上了乔・拜登吧 |
| [45:37] | He’s from Delaware. See? I knew that. | 我知道他是从特拉华州来的 |
| [45:40] | Bo, you’re a smart kid. I’ve seen you rap. | 波 你是个聪明的孩子 你已经受到惩罚了 |
| [45:42] | – Yeah! – All right? | -耶! -好吧 |
| [45:44] | Now, I am willing to give you a makeup exam on this, all right? | 我给你一个补考的机会怎么样 |
| [45:46] | Do you like music? | 你喜欢音乐吗 |
| [45:48] | Did you just ask me if I liked music? | 你刚才是不是问我喜不喜欢音乐 |
| [45:49] | Yeah. That… I’m… I’m aware that that’s a weird question. | 是的 呃 我发现这个问题很怪异 |
| [45:52] | It’s like asking me if I like food. | 就像问我喜不喜欢食物一样 |
| [45:54] | That was my next question. | 我本来正打算问呢 |
| [45:56] | – Yes. – Good. | -我喜欢音乐 -很好 |
| [45:57] | Wilco. do you like Wilco? Wilco’s playing at the Greek theatre. | 你喜欢威尔科吗 在希腊剧院表演的那个 |
| [46:01] | And I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to go with me. | 我想问你愿不愿意和我一起去 |
| [46:04] | Yeah. I’ll go. I’d be into that. I like wilco. | 好啊 我会去的 我挺喜欢威尔科 |
| [46:06] | Great. | 太好了 |
| [46:07] | Okay, great, great. So, | 很好很好 |
| [46:09] | I guess we will go to the show together. | 我想那我们要一起去看那演出了 |
| [46:12] | Not anymore. | 那我不去了 |
| [46:14] | You serious? | 你说真的吗 |
| [46:16] | – No, I’ll go. – Oh, okay. Thank you. | -没有 我会去的 -哦 好的 |
| [46:18] | Just don’t say that ever again. | 你可别再那么说了 |
| [46:19] | Okay. I won’t. | 我不会了 |
| [46:20] | – Yo, teach! – Yeah? | -老师 -嗯 |
| [46:23] | Thanks. | 多谢了 |
| [46:25] | Word. | 话真多 |
| [46:26] | Do-ra-mi, Wiener | 哆来咪 Wiener |
| [46:29] | Do-ra-mi, Wiener | 哆来咪 烤肠 |
| [46:32] | My name is Wiener | 我是维纳 |
| [46:36] | My name is Wiener my name is Wiener | 我是维纳 我是维纳 |
| [46:40] | Don’t call me Wiener | 别叫我烤肠 |
| [46:42] | Whatever. You got any jokes for me, dum-dum? | 算了 写了什么笑话给我吗 |
| [46:45] | Got some good ones, I think, actually. | 我有些好的点子 |
| [46:48] | I have a thing about how, like, you’re rich, you know, | 比如说你很有钱 |
| [46:51] | And so you bought a private jet, | 然后你买了个私人飞机 |
| [46:52] | But you’re afraid of flying, | 但你很害怕飞行 |
| [46:54] | So you just drive in it. | 所以你只是在地上开开 |
| [46:55] | Oh, that’s funny. | 听起来挺有趣的 |
| [46:56] | You just go to drive-throughs and car washes. | 你也只是开到洗车场洗飞机而已 |
| [46:58] | Yeah, yeah, yeah. | 嗯 不错 |
| [46:59] | I’ll come up with the ending, but that was good. | 我自己构思结尾吧 开头不错 |
| [47:02] | I thought it could be funny about | 我想了个关于 |
| [47:04] | Your balls, you know, about how, like, | 你蛋蛋的笑话 例如 |
| [47:05] | You’re getting older and you found | 你越来越老了 某天发现 |
| [47:07] | The first gray hair on your balls. | 你蛋蛋上的毛变灰了 |
| [47:09] | And it really worried you, | 开始你很担心 |
| [47:10] | but then you realized it was good | 但是后来你发现这也还不错 |
| [47:11] | ’cause it made your balls look distinguished and smart. | 因为它让你的蛋蛋与众不同又漂亮 |
| [47:14] | Like, if you gave your balls a little tweed | 像是给你的蛋蛋穿了件 |
| [47:15] | Jacket with elbow pads and a little pipe, | 有护肘和小管子的粗花呢子夹克 |
| [47:17] | Your balls could be like a character | 你的蛋蛋就会像 |
| [47:19] | kevin kline would play in a movie. | 凯文・克莱恩在电影里演的一样 |
| [47:22] | Yeah, that’s funny, that’s funny. I could do that. | 这个不错 很有趣 我可以用它 |
| [47:25] | What else you got? | 还有其他点子吗 |
| [47:26] | Actually, this just kind of happened. | 还有一件事我刚刚弄好 |
| [47:30] | I’m making you an itunes playlist. | 我在itunes(播放器)里帮你建了个播放列表 |
| [47:33] | – For what? – Sometimes, when I’m upset, | -这是干啥 -当我情绪不好的时候 |
| [47:35] | Music makes me feel a little better, so I thought maybe… | 音乐总能让我好起来 所以我想… |
| [47:39] | Oh, it’s a cheer-me-up thing? | 那东西能让我振奋吗 |
| [47:40] | I was gonna just put it on your ipod. | 我正要把它放到你的ipod里去 |
| [47:42] | I don’t have to play it right now. | 不过我想不用现在就放吧 |
| [47:43] | For what? For when I go out jogging? I don’t need to… | 干嘛 让我慢跑的时候听吗 我不需要… |
| [47:45] | Let me hear it. I don’t jog anymore. Let me hear my playlist. | 还是让我听听看吧 我现在不跑步了 听听看 |
| [47:57] | Ira! Ira! | 艾拉 艾拉 |
| [48:01] | Okay, you don’t have to make fun of it. | 好吧 你没必要嘲笑这歌 |
| [48:03] | No, Bob Marley! | 天哪 鲍勃・马利的歌 |
| [48:05] | Yes. Everything is gonna be all right. You’re right, Ira. | 是的 事情都会好起来的 你说的没错艾拉 |
| [48:08] | Bob Marley had cancer. | 鲍勃・马利得了癌症 |
| [48:10] | Everything wasn’t all right for Bob Marley. | 但是他可没好起来 |
| [48:12] | He dead now. | 他现在死了 |
| [48:13] | What else you put on there for me? | 你还放了什么歌 |
| [48:15] | I really don’t want to do this, George. | 我不想放下去了 乔治 |
| [48:16] | Can we just… I’ll… just forget I did this. | 我们能不能就… 当我没做吧 |
| [48:18] | Ignore it. I’ll erase it, okay? | 忽略它 我会它们都删了 |
| [48:19] | No, no, no, don’t do that. | 不不不 不用这样 |
| [48:20] | Let’s hear what’s gonna cheer me up! | 听听还有什么能让我振作起来的歌 |
| [48:22] | This is good. | 这样好 |
| [48:23] | Come on. What else you got? | 来来来 你还放了什么 |
| [48:25] | Okay, here’s the next one. | 好吧 这是下一首 |
| [48:27] | Now I’ve had the time of my life | 如今的我人生得意 |
| [48:33] | No, I never felt like this before | 从未有过的感觉 |
| [48:36] | I don’t know what to say to that one. | 我不知道该说什么了 |
| [48:37] | That’s… That’s just… That’s just fifth grade and… | 这首歌被我归为第五等 |
| [48:41] | Showing me your cock was embarrassing, but this is okay? | 给我看你小弟弟都那么尴尬 放这歌就不会吗 |
| [48:45] | Oh, god. That’s a good song. | 天哪 这是个很棒的歌 |
| [48:46] | Yeah, what else? Give me more. This is… This is unbelievable. | 好吧 还有什么 听听看 真不敢相信 |
| [48:50] | You sure you want to hear another one? | 你确定你想听下一首 |
| [48:51] | – I don’t… – Yeah! Yeah, yeah. | -我可不想… -当然当然 |
| [48:53] | This is fun to be cheered up. | 被振奋对我来说很有趣 |
| [48:55] | I’m sorry… | 我很抱歉… |
| [49:01] | Shadows are falling and I’m running out of breath | 黑暗降临 我快要窒息 |
| [49:06] | Keep me in your heart for a while | 让我在你心里多停留几许 |
| [49:11] | If I leave you, it doesn’t mean I love you any less | 如果我离开你 不代表我对你的爱减少 |
| [49:17] | Keep me in your heart for a while | 让我在你心里多停留几许 |
| [49:22] | When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun | 清晨醒来 你看见灿烂的太阳 |
| [49:28] | Keep me in your heart for a while | 让我在你心里多停留几许 |
| [49:33] | Just write me some jokes, you stupid, fucking idiot. | 你只要多写些段子就行了 你个傻瓜 |
| [49:36] | Okay, I’m sorry. | 好吧 对不起 |
| [49:39] | Keep me in your heart for a while | 让我在你心里多停留几许 |
| [49:43] | So, I’m not married. I don’t think I’m ever gonna get married. | 我没结过婚 我从不觉得我会结婚 |
| [49:45] | I just… I can’t find a reason to do it, you know? | 我觉得没什么理由这么做 |
| [49:48] | Like, I got friends, like, | 比方说 我有一个朋友 |
| [49:49] | “You gotta get married. My wife. | “你结婚了 我的老婆 |
| [49:51] | “My wife is a… She’s the best cook. | “她是世界上最好的厨师 |
| [49:53] | “My wife’s the… You gotta. “ | “我的老婆是… 你知道的” |
| [49:54] | And I’m like, “My cook’s the best cook. “ | 在我看来是”我的厨师是最好的厨师” |
| [49:59] | “But my wife, she’s my best friend. “ | “但我老婆 她是我最好的朋友” |
| [50:02] | “Yeah, my cook’s actually a pretty good guy. ” You know? | “事实上 我的厨师是个很好的男人” |
| [50:05] | This could be funny. | 这个挺有趣的 |
| [50:07] | Like, your dad didn’t like you, | 比方说 你老爸不喜欢你 |
| [50:09] | so he named you and your dog George. | 所以把你和狗狗都取名为乔治 |
| [50:11] | He’d be like, “Hey, George, come in here! | 他会说 “过来乔治 |
| [50:13] | “not you, the dog. “ | “没说你 是狗狗” |
| [50:16] | “George, I… look at this awesome book I just got!” | “乔治 看看我刚拿到的好书” |
| [50:18] | And then you come in, it’s like, “Not you, the dog. “ | 然后你走过去 他说”没说你 是狗狗” |
| [50:20] | That’s funny. Yeah. | 很有趣哈 |
| [50:21] | “hey, George, I made a nice steak for you.” | “嗨 乔治 我给你煎了块牛排” |
| [50:23] | “Hey, thanks, dad. “ | “谢谢老爸” |
| [50:24] | “Not you, the dog. “ | “没说你 是狗狗” |
| [50:26] | “Hey, George, I just put some peanut butter on my balls. | “嗨 乔治 我刚在小弟弟上涂了花生酱 |
| [50:28] | Come lick it up. | 过来舔舔 |
| [50:29] | You. “ | 说你呢” |
| [50:32] | Fuck him. | 他妈的 |
| [50:33] | I miss the dry hump as a concept in my life. | 我坚信隔山打牛是我的人生理念 |
| [50:37] | It just doesn’t… | 这只是… |
| [50:39] | I miss the dry hump ’cause you don’t | 我喜欢隔山打牛 |
| [50:41] | Need a big dick to be a good dry humper. | 因为鸡鸡不大也能做的很棒 |
| [50:43] | You just need a big thigh, that’s all you need. | 但你得有强健的大腿 |
| [50:46] | Be able to get your thigh in there real good. | 能灵活地上上下下 |
| [50:49] | I can thigh the hell out of a girl. | 我能用大腿让姑娘们爽死 |
| [50:52] | Sexually, I’m completely terrible, but I could do this all day. | 说到性交 我糟透了 但我可以一整天都这样 |
| [50:57] | I’m very rich, by the way. | 顺便说一句 我很有钱 |
| [50:58] | I know that makes you feel good about your life. | 这一定让你们觉得自己过的不错 |
| [51:02] | I got so much. | 我听到过很多这种话 |
| [51:03] | “you have so much. why not me?” | “你拥有的太多了 我怎么什么都没有” |
| [51:06] | I have people stop me on the streets sometimes, just go, | 有时候我走在街上 就有人拦着我说 |
| [51:09] | “you have so much!” “yes, yes. ” “why not me?” | “你拥有的太多了” 是是是 “我怎么什么都没有” |
| [51:13] | Like, “I don’t know. “ | 我就说 我也不知道 |
| [51:14] | “why you? I came out here to do what you do. “ | “凭什么 我来到这儿做你做过的事” |
| [51:19] | “well, you’re not doing it. “ | “你可没有” |
| [51:20] | “no, I’m not! | “没错 我没有” |
| [51:22] | “fuck you! I want all your money and all your whores. “ | “去你妈的 我想要你的钱和马子” |
| [51:27] | Airplanes are the last public place | 飞机是唯一你可以尽情放响屁 |
| [51:29] | Where you can fart as loud as you want and no one cares. | 又不被人鄙视的公共场所 |
| [51:32] | ’cause they don’t… it’s loud. there’s engine noise. | 因为他们听不见 引擎的噪声很大 |
| [51:34] | They just don’t know it’s you. | 他们不会知道是你干的 |
| [51:35] | Like, you could literally be talking to someone you just met | 你可以和刚认识的人谈话 |
| [51:38] | And be sitting this far away from them | 离他只有这么远 |
| [51:40] | And look them dead in the eye | 死盯着他们的眼睛 |
| [51:41] | As they talk about their grandson | 听他们讲自己的孙子 |
| [51:42] | And just fart as loud as you humanly can. just… | 同时鼓足全力放一个全人类最响的屁 |
| [51:46] | “yeah? where’s your grandson from?” | “是吗 你的孙子住在哪儿” |
| [51:49] | My asshole’s been open this whole time. it’s just still… | 与此同时我一直在放屁 一直一直 |
| [51:54] | Hey, can you help me with some of my jokes when I… | 等会我送你回去的时候 |
| [51:56] | When I drop you off later? | 你能帮我完成几个段子吗 |
| [51:58] | Help you with some of your bits? | 帮你弄几个段子吗 |
| [51:59] | No. I’m not gonna help you, man. | 不行 我可不帮你 |
| [52:01] | No one helped me when I started. | 我开始的时候可没人帮我 |
| [52:04] | Fucking, I’m not paying to help you, | 该死的 我不是花钱来帮你的 |
| [52:05] | I’m paying you to help me. | 我让你来帮我 |
| [52:06] | No, okay. you’re right, you’re right. | 不不 没关系 你说的对 |
| [52:08] | There is always the one girl out there, though. | 一直以来都有一个姑娘 |
| [52:10] | The one that got away. | 那个离开的姑娘 |
| [52:12] | Guys have that and serial killers have that. | 男人和杀人狂心里都想着 |
| [52:15] | The one that got away. | 那个离开的姑娘 |
| [52:17] | “I had her, the trunk was lined with garbage bags | “我得到她了 鸡鸡都用垃圾袋装好了” |
| [52:22] | “and then she got away. “ | “然后她离开” |
| [52:26] | I’m sick of rap songs telling me what to do. | 我讨厌按照说唱乐里说的做 |
| [52:30] | “bend over. slap your ass, girl. drop it like it’s hot. “ | “弯下腰拍拍屁股 把它像烫手山芋一样丢掉” |
| [52:35] | Yeah, I’m gonna write a song back. | 我也要写首歌反击 |
| [52:36] | I’m gonna be, like, “boy, brush your teeth! | 比如 “小子 刷刷牙去” |
| [52:41] | “yeah, boy, bump that jacket off your back. | “把衣服扒下来 |
| [52:43] | I’m fucking cold as shit!” | 我TM要冻死了” |
| [52:47] | I masturbate so much with hand cream, | 我打飞机的时候挤的手霜太多了 |
| [52:49] | I forget people use it for shit other than masturbating. | 我有时会忘了人们也用它干别的 |
| [52:52] | Literally, when I’m in public and | 真的 当我看到有人 |
| [52:54] | I see someone pull out hand cream, | 当众把手霜拿出来 |
| [52:55] | I’m like, “this guy’s about to jerk off!” | 我还想 “这人要打飞机了” |
| [52:58] | Can I ask you something? | 我想问问你 |
| [52:59] | Is your act just designed to make sure | 你的表演是为了确保 |
| [53:01] | No girl will ever sleep with you again? | 不会有姑娘想和你上床吗 |
| [53:03] | All you fucking talk about is jacking off and farting. | 你说的都是手淫和放屁的事 |
| [53:06] | You think a girl’s gonna come up to you after the show, | 你觉得表演之后会有姑娘来找你 |
| [53:09] | “could you just jack off for me and then fart in my face?” | 跟你说”你能帮我手淫 在我脸上放个屁吗” |
| [53:12] | It’s fucking insane! Do you want to get laid, ever? | 真有病 你就没想过和人上床吗 |
| [53:24] | How will you people live without me? | 没了我你们该怎么生活 |
| [53:31] | Who will bring you joy when I’m gone? | 没了我谁给你们带来欢乐 |
| [53:37] | ’cause I’m one funny man | 因为我是个滑稽的人 |
| [53:42] | I bring the comedy | 我带来滑稽喜剧 |
| [53:45] | I am the one you go to, to get cheered up | 我能让你开心 |
| [53:52] | Put in my movies | 恰如我演过的电影 |
| [53:56] | Escape, if you will to a land of loveliness | 逃亡吧 到爱与美之岛 |
| [54:05] | He doesn’t have patience | 他没有耐心 |
| [54:08] | He hates so many people he’s mad when others do well | 他痛恨所有的人 他常嫉妒得发狂 |
| [54:14] | He hates himself fuck George Simmons | 他也痛恨他自己 该死的乔治・西蒙斯 |
| [54:21] | He has a medium-sized penis | 他的小弟弟只是中等型号 |
| [54:25] | He fucked so many girls and yet no one remembers | 他睡了很多姑娘 她们都不记得 |
| [54:30] | When he’s done fucking them | 等他干完了 |
| [54:33] | The girl just lays there and says | 姑娘只是躺在那儿说 |
| [54:37] | I should have fucked Jean-Claude Van Damme instead of you | 我应该去陪尚格・云顿睡而不是你 |
| [54:43] | Fuck, yeah! fuck, yeah! | 他妈的 真他妈的 |
| [54:49] | George Simmons soon will be gone | 乔治・西蒙斯很快就要离开 |
| [54:57] | And he will not miss you people at all. | 他才不会想念你们 |
| [55:02] | Our relationship has always been strained. | 我们的关系一直都很尴尬 |
| [55:05] | You always wanted too much from me, | 你索取得太多 |
| [55:08] | And I’m very mad at you. | 我都要疯了 |
| [55:11] | Leave me alone. don’t visit my grave, cocksuckers. | 离我远点 你们这群基佬也别来祭奠 |
| [55:17] | Peace! | 终得宁静 |
| [55:32] | Oh, my god, it’s George Simmons! | 天啊 是乔治・西蒙斯 |
| [55:34] | What are you doing here? What’s happening? | 你怎么在这儿 怎么了 |
| [55:37] | I couldn’t sleep. I want to get the Cavaliers game. | 我睡不着 我想看骑士队的比赛 |
| [55:41] | I can’t get this thing ever to work. | 我一直都不会用这个 |
| [55:43] | I was up all night, man. I had a terrible sleep. | 我整晚都醒着 我的睡眠很糟 |
| [55:45] | I was sweating my ass off. | 不停地冒虚汗 |
| [55:47] | I’m fucking hot one second and cold one second | 忽冷忽热 |
| [55:49] | And the ALC don’t work for shit. | 自动调温装置还不管用 |
| [55:52] | It’s always going up to the roof. | 总是热得不行 |
| [55:56] | What time is it? | 几点了 |
| [55:57] | It says 3:00. | 3点 |
| [55:59] | It’s 3:00? God damn it! I can’t fucking waste time. I gotta… | 3点了 妈的 我可不能浪费时间 |
| [56:06] | All right, let’s start my goddamn day. | 好了 开始我讨厌的一天 |
| [56:10] | I don’t got time for this shit. | 我可没时间弄这个狗屁玩意 |
| [56:11] | Let me have that stupid clicker. come on. | 把那个破遥控器给我 快 |
| [56:16] | They keep telling me that I gotta dial an extension. | 他们总要我给分机打电话 |
| [56:19] | I don’t even have the fucking number | 我TM压根就不知道 |
| [56:21] | To dial for the fucking extension! | 那个鬼分机的号码 |
| [56:23] | Do you want me to try calling them? | 你想让我来打电话吗 |
| [56:24] | You should have fucking called them! | 你TM是该打电话 |
| [56:25] | Where the fuck were you last night? | 你昨晚死哪儿去了 |
| [56:28] | You’ll call them. | 你给他们打电话 |
| [56:29] | I’m sorry, man. | 真抱歉哥们 |
| [56:31] | Just tell me what you need, I’ll get it done, okay? | 告诉我你想要什么 我给你弄 |
| [56:32] | You pay for all of this stuff and none of it ever works! | 我付钱给你装这个 可它根本不能用 |
| [56:36] | Nothing! I don’t even think I’m sick! | 全不好使 我甚至觉得我没病 |
| [56:39] | These guys are trying to fucking kill me! | 是这些人想要杀了我 |
| [56:42] | I want to go to the doctor. I gotta see this guy. | 我要去见医生 会会那个家伙 |
| [56:45] | What the fuck is happening? | 到底怎么了 |
| [56:49] | This medicine does not work. It makes it worse! | 药不但不管用 反而更糟了 |
| [56:53] | Okay. I’ll call them right now. I’ll tell them we’re coming, okay? | 我现在就打给他们 告诉他们你要过去 |
| [56:55] | Now. we gotta go now. | 现在就去 现在 |
| [56:57] | I’ll call them right now, okay? | 我马上打电话 |
| [56:58] | Yeah. I’ll meet you downstairs. | 我在楼下等你 |
| [57:08] | Please put away the video game. don’t do that. don’t be rude. | 把游戏收起来 别这样 太没礼貌了 |
| [57:13] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [57:14] | Fucking playing centipede? | 贪食蛇吗 |
| [57:15] | What the fuck were you playing? | 你玩什么呢 |
| [57:17] | Just a driving game. | 赛车游戏 |
| [57:20] | Hello, Mr. Simmons. | 你好 西蒙斯先生 |
| [57:21] | Hey, yeah, doctor, good to see you. | 很高兴见到你 医生 |
| [57:22] | How are you? I brought my friend. | 你还好吧 我带了我的朋友来 |
| [57:23] | This is my… well, my lover, my life partner, my everything. | 他是我的 情人 人生伴侣 我的全部 |
| [57:28] | How are you? What’s going on? How we doing? | 你还好吧 怎么样了 我们要干嘛 |
| [57:30] | Well, your immune system is | 你的免疫系统正在打 |
| [57:32] | In the middle of a very serious battle. | 一场艰难的战役 |
| [57:34] | The medicine is trying to combat the disease, | 药物正在与疾病搏斗 |
| [57:36] | But in the process it destroys healthy tissue | 但这会毁掉健康的组织 |
| [57:38] | And disrupts healthy functioning of your organs | 并且会扰乱 |
| [57:41] | And multiple lymphatic systems, | 身体器官和淋巴系统的健康功能 |
| [57:43] | So you’re getting attacked on two levels. | 你正在承受双重攻击 |
| [57:46] | And we hope the disease is vanquished | 只希望在你健康器官被药物 |
| [57:48] | Before it and the medicine does damage | 摧残之前能够 |
| [57:49] | Which cannot be contained. | 消灭疾病 |
| [57:51] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [57:53] | Your accent is very thick. | 你口音很重 |
| [57:56] | You ever notice your accent | 你没觉得你的口音 |
| [57:57] | Makes things sound worse than they… than they actually are? | 会让事情听起来更糟吗 |
| [58:02] | You could give good news, and I’d still be like, | 你可以说点好消息 我还能装着说 |
| [58:04] | “what happened? Am I still dying?” | “怎么了 我还会死吗” |
| [58:06] | I’m just trying to help you. | 我只是想帮你 |
| [58:08] | I know you sound like a regular Joe where you come from, | 虽然听上去你像是个普通人 |
| [58:11] | But here I keep thinking | 但我总觉得你 |
| [58:13] | You’re gonna be torturing James Bond later. | 接下来就要拷问詹姆斯・邦德 |
| [58:17] | I’m sure your sense of humor | 我觉得你的幽默感 |
| [58:19] | Will serve you well in this situation. | 能帮你渡过这个难关 |
| [58:21] | There he goes again. | 又来了 |
| [58:22] | All so terrifying because it came out of your mouth. | 一从你嘴里说出来就那么吓人 |
| [58:26] | You are a very funny man. | 你真是个滑稽的人 |
| [58:28] | Are you mad that you died at the end of die hard? | 你讨厌痛苦的死去吗 |
| [58:31] | I don’t understand the reference. | 我没明白你指代什么 |
| [58:35] | He kind of looks like those two guys | 他像是《黑客帝国二》 |
| [58:36] | In the Second Matrix movie. | 里面的那两个家伙 |
| [58:38] | I assure you I was not in the Matrix. | 我向你保证我没演《黑客帝国》 |
| [58:41] | Why did you be on board? What did he do to you? | 你为什么不演了 他把你怎么了 |
| [58:44] | If you have no other questions, I do have other patients. | 你没别的问题了吧 我还有别的病人 |
| [58:48] | You have other patients that | 今天你还有别的病人 |
| [58:50] | You have to frighten by the end of the day? | 要去吓唬吗 |
| [58:52] | How many patients do you frighten a day? | 你每天吓唬多少个病人 |
| [58:53] | And I am slowly getting a little bit annoyed | 我对你们的搞笑行为 |
| [58:56] | By these humorous activities from you guys. | 开始觉得厌烦了 |
| [59:01] | So, I think you and… | 所以我想 |
| [59:02] | We have discussed this and I am very, | 我们已经讨论过了 |
| [59:03] | Very sympathetic to your recovery, | 我非常同情你的恢复状况 |
| [59:06] | And I hope we will succeed with what we are doing. | 我希望你能成功康复 |
| [59:10] | I’ve been trying to build this cabinet I bought from you guys | 我这六个月来一直想 |
| [59:12] | For, like, six months and I gotta… | 给你俩组装好那个衣柜 |
| [59:14] | Ikea? that’s very funny. | 宜家的吗 真搞笑 |
| [59:27] | – Hey. yo, teach. – Hey. | -嗨 滑稽老师 -嗨 |
| [59:30] | How’s… how was the taping? | 录音怎么样了 |
| [59:32] | Great. great, yeah. I’m happy with it. | 不错 很不错 我很开心 |
| [59:35] | I think the ending really murdered. | 我觉得那结尾很赞 |
| [59:37] | Was it a very special episode? | 那是个特别选辑吗 |
| [59:41] | You remember Daisy, right? | 你认识黛西吧 |
| [59:44] | Yeah, of course. | 当然了 |
| [59:46] | Hey. | 你好 |
| [59:47] | I’m sorry. | 真抱歉 |
| [59:48] | I didn’t know you’d be coming home tonight. | 我不知道你今天晚上要回来 |
| [59:50] | I thought maybe you’d be spending | 我以为你会在 |
| [59:51] | The night at George’s and… | 乔治那儿过夜 |
| [59:53] | Guess it’s been more than 10 days, huh? | 已经过了10天了吧 |
| [59:57] | Yeah, I gave you an extra 11. | 是啊 其实我给了你11天 |
| [1:00:00] | What are you guys talking about? | 你们在说什么 |
| [1:00:02] | Nothing. Doesn’t matter. It’s cool. | 没什么的 都是小事 很好 |
| [1:00:04] | Don’t give a shit. totally fine. | 没事的 都很好 |
| [1:00:11] | Hey. I saw the new Harry Potter movie. | 我看了新出的《哈利・波特》 |
| [1:00:15] | Harry’s getting old. | 哈利变得老成了 |
| [1:00:16] | He’s, like, older than my dad. | 比我爸爸还老 |
| [1:00:17] | They should call him Harold Potter. | 应该叫他哈罗德・波特了 |
| [1:00:19] | That Hermione’s got some big, old titties. | 赫敏的胸很大了 |
| [1:00:25] | Whoa! | 怎么了 |
| [1:00:26] | Did you two just bone? I’m getting a little vibe here. | 你俩刚刚嘿咻了吧 我也有点性奋了 |
| [1:00:30] | This is exciting. Think I’m getting a quarter chub. | 真不错 我好像已经开始立了 |
| [1:00:35] | Why is Ira so upset? | 为什么艾拉那么心烦的样子 |
| [1:00:36] | It’s been, like, way after 10 days. | 早已经过了10天了吧 |
| [1:00:39] | He can’t call dibs on every girl he meets. | 他遇见的每个妞儿他都把不到 |
| [1:00:42] | We were supposed to go out on a date together. | 我们本来要一起约会的 |
| [1:00:45] | We are going out on a date. I thought so. | 我们还会约会的 起码我觉得会 |
| [1:00:48] | We’re not anymore! No! | 不可能了 不可能 |
| [1:00:49] | Really? | 什么 |
| [1:00:50] | ‘Cause after you fuck my roommate | 你都和我的室友睡了 |
| [1:00:53] | That kind of ends it with me! | 我们之间完了 |
| [1:00:54] | What are you talking about? Don’t treat me like that. | 你说什么呢 别那么跟我说话 |
| [1:00:57] | Just so you know how I’m seeing you? You’re a starfucker. | 你知道我怎么想的吗 我觉得你就是一个傍星族 |
| [1:01:00] | You’re a girl who met a star and then fucked him. | 那种见了明星就和他上床的女孩 |
| [1:01:02] | And he’s not even that famous! | 而且他甚至不出名 |
| [1:01:04] | What if like a real good-looking celebrity was my roommate? | 要是我室友真是个帅气名人的话呢 |
| [1:01:07] | What if I lived with, you know, | 要是我和詹姆斯・麦克沃伊 |
| [1:01:09] | James Mcavoy or Jude Law or something? | 或是裘德・洛 一起住呢 |
| [1:01:12] | I don’t know. I probably would fuck both of those people. | 不知道 我可能都上 |
| [1:01:14] | Don’t say that. | 别这么说 |
| [1:01:15] | I’m sorry! Lower the bar a little bit. | 真抱歉 你就不能降低点标准吗 |
| [1:01:17] | I can’t believe that! | 我简直不敢相信 |
| [1:01:20] | If a hot girl walked over here, naked, | 如果有一个性感尤物 |
| [1:01:23] | And was like, “do my body,” | 光着身子走过来 |
| [1:01:25] | You would. | 一边说”上我吧” 你肯定照做的 |
| [1:01:26] | You would have sex with her. | 你肯定会上她 |
| [1:01:27] | No, I’d feel really uncomfortable. | 才不会呢 我会觉得很不爽 |
| [1:01:30] | And then I might ask her to a Wilco show. | 也许我会邀请她去看威尔科表演 |
| [1:01:32] | Okay, | 好吧 |
| [1:01:32] | Then you’re the first guy in the | 你真是我在这世上遇到的 |
| [1:01:34] | World that I’ve ever met that’s like that. | 唯一一个这样的男人 |
| [1:01:37] | I thought you were the kind of girl that would wait two months | 我以为你会是那种等上两个月 |
| [1:01:40] | And then have sex with a guy. | 才会和什么人上床的女孩 |
| [1:01:41] | I didn’t think you would just… | 我没想到你居然 |
| [1:01:42] | I’m an independent woman. | 我是独立的女性 |
| [1:01:44] | I’m allowed to fuck people. | 我有权利和任何人上床 |
| [1:01:47] | Well, if I had known that, | 我要是早知道 |
| [1:01:48] | I would have scheduled our date a lot sooner! | 我就会早点约你了 |
| [1:01:52] | Give me a break. I don’t even know you. | 省省吧 我甚至不认识你 |
| [1:01:54] | This is the longest conversation we’ve ever had. | 这是我们有史以来最长的对话 |
| [1:02:03] | Don’t be mad at me. I said I’d give you 10 days. | 别对我发脾气 我说给你10天时间 |
| [1:02:08] | I gave you three weeks. | 但我给了你三周 |
| [1:02:13] | I thought you were joking, man. | 我以为你在开玩笑 |
| [1:02:14] | I’m gonna be honest with you. | 实话跟你说吧 |
| [1:02:17] | We… we… we want to fuck every girl that we meet. | 我们想上遇到的每一个姑娘 |
| [1:02:21] | That’s how it works. | 就是这么回事 |
| [1:02:22] | If I didn’t sleep with every girl | 要是每个你想睡的 |
| [1:02:24] | You wished you could sleep with, | 姑娘我都不碰 |
| [1:02:25] | I wouldn’t sleep with anybody. | 我就没妞儿可以上了 |
| [1:02:27] | It’s a communication breakdown. We can fix this. | 这次是沟通失策 我们能搞定的 |
| [1:02:30] | I don’t care. The fact that you had sex with her… | 我不管 事实就是你和她嘿咻了 |
| [1:02:32] | I can never do anything like that with her. | 我永远也做不到那样的事 |
| [1:02:36] | So, you’re really not gonna chase | 所以你真的要放弃她 |
| [1:02:39] | This girl just because I was with her? | 就因为我和她睡了 |
| [1:02:41] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [1:02:43] | Huh. | 真是的 |
| [1:02:45] | It’s kind of insulting, on some level. | 某种程度上 这有点失礼 |
| [1:02:49] | Wanna go to Wilco with me? | 想和我去看威尔科表演吗 |
| [1:02:53] | I wish I could, but I’m going with Tobey Maguire. | 我也想去 但我得和托比・莫拉尔一起去 |
| [1:02:56] | I might play his little brother in this movie. | 我可能会在电影里演他的弟弟 |
| [1:03:03] | I hope I get it. | 真希望我能得到那个角色 |
| [1:03:10] | Give me something. You didn’t get rid of them. | 说点什么 你不能摆脱的 |
| [1:03:12] | What did you get rid of? | 什么令你难以摆脱 |
| [1:03:14] | Well, I, you know, I got a few good offers, | 我有个好建议 |
| [1:03:16] | But honestly, I don’t know how much each car is worth and I… | 但说实话 我不知道每辆车值多少钱 |
| [1:03:18] | They keep on wanting to buy all of them | 他们一直想都买下来 |
| [1:03:20] | – And it’s hard for me to… – Don’t make it a big deal. | -对我来说很难 -别太当回事 |
| [1:03:22] | Don’t get a stomach-ache over it. Just sell them. | 别因为这个胃疼 卖了它们 |
| [1:03:24] | Give it to a charity. Move on. | 捐给慈善机构 就不管了 |
| [1:03:26] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [1:03:27] | I just want to be happy about | 我只是想捐献一点东西 |
| [1:03:28] | Giving something away, you know. | 并为此感到高兴 |
| [1:03:29] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [1:03:30] | So… | 那么 |
| [1:03:33] | There’s something I’ve really been wanting to tell you, George. | 有些事我得和你说 乔治 |
| [1:03:36] | Uh-oh. | 啊哦 |
| [1:03:39] | I feel as though you need to tell | 我觉得你应该 |
| [1:03:41] | Someone other than me about your condition. | 和除了我之外的什么人说说你的情况 |
| [1:03:45] | I don’t want to do that. | 我不想那么做 |
| [1:03:47] | George, people care about you. | 乔治 人们很在乎你 |
| [1:03:48] | You have to let them be there for you. | 你应该接受他们的关心 |
| [1:03:51] | I tell somebody, then it’s all gonna change, | 我一旦告诉了别人 |
| [1:03:53] | And you can’t get it back. | 就什么都变了 而且无法挽回 |
| [1:03:56] | Everything’s already changed, George, | 事情已经变了 乔治 |
| [1:03:58] | And the truth is soon you’re gonna start getting very sick | 现实是很快你就会病入膏肓 |
| [1:04:02] | And you are gonna want someone other than me there. | 到时候你会想要有人在你身边 而且不是我 |
| [1:04:05] | I mean, have you… have you even told your parents yet? | 我是说 你和你的父母说了吗 |
| [1:04:07] | My parents are in their mid-70s. | 我的父母已经年近古稀 |
| [1:04:09] | They would drop dead if they heard about this. | 听到这个消息会吓死的 |
| [1:04:12] | Friends. You must want to tell your friends. | 朋友呢 你应该告诉你的朋友们 |
| [1:04:14] | I don’t really have any friends. | 我没有真正的朋友 |
| [1:04:16] | I have people I shoot the shit with and fuck around with, | 我有的只是一些炮友和狐朋狗友们 |
| [1:04:18] | But there’s nobody I’m really close with. | 但并没有很亲密的朋友 |
| [1:04:20] | I’ve got showbiz friends. | 我有一些娱乐圈的朋友 |
| [1:04:22] | Andy Dick isn’t a friend. He’s just a guy you know. | 安迪・迪克算不上朋友 只是一个熟人 |
| [1:04:25] | You’re my closest friend, and I don’t even like you. | 你是最亲密的朋友 可我却不喜欢你 |
| [1:04:29] | You have to tell someone other than me, man. | 你得把这事告诉其他人 |
| [1:04:31] | I can’t be the only one who knows. | 我不能是唯一知情的人 |
| [1:04:33] | I’ve never dealt with anything like this. | 我从来没有处理过这样的事 |
| [1:04:34] | All my grandparents are alive. | 我的爷爷奶奶都健在 |
| [1:04:37] | Listen, this is not your job to cry. Your job is to not cry. | 跟你说不是听你哭的 不许哭 |
| [1:04:40] | I’m just trying to talk to you man-to-man, George. | 乔治 我只是跟你坦诚不公的谈谈 |
| [1:04:43] | As a man, you are crying right now. | 还男人呢 哭个啥劲 |
| [1:04:45] | I’m not crying. | 我没哭啊 |
| [1:04:47] | People are gonna think we just broke up | 让人看了 还以为咱俩分手了 |
| [1:04:48] | Or something, Ira. | 或是出啥事了呢 |
| [1:04:49] | Stop doing what you’re doing. | 赶快别哭了 |
| [1:04:51] | Okay, I’ll stop. | 好吧 |
| [1:04:52] | You’re causing a scene. You’re making crazy faces now, Ira. | 真丢人显眼啊 脸都抽吧成啥样了 |
| [1:04:56] | Open your eyes. Stop crying. | 眼睛睁开 别挤了 |
| [1:05:00] | You’re making noises now? You look like the incredible hulk. | 嚎个什么劲 跟个废物似的 |
| [1:05:04] | Jesus, you’re spitting on my shrimp, | 老天 真是不想让我好好吃顿饭啊 |
| [1:05:06] | – You asshole. – I’m sorry. | -傻瓜 -对不起 |
| [1:05:08] | God, I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [1:05:09] | Come on. Wipe it off. | 快点擦了吧 |
| [1:05:11] | Jesus Christ. | 偶滴神呀 |
| [1:05:14] | I’m sorry, I just don’t know. | 对不起 我也没办法 |
| [1:05:16] | This is the worst. | 太糟糕了 |
| [1:05:18] | Why didn’t I just get hit by a fucking foul ball? | 为啥得病的偏偏是我呢 |
| [1:05:21] | You ruined the palm, you fucking ass. | 啥都搞砸了 傻瓜 |
| [1:05:26] | This could have been the best meal, ever. | 本来这顿饭可以吃得好好的 |
| [1:05:30] | Should I get you ice chips or something? | 吃冰棒还是来点别的 |
| [1:05:31] | No, I’m good. | 不要 我很好 |
| [1:05:34] | You never had any kids, huh? | 你还没孩子 对吧 |
| [1:05:35] | No. No. We didn’t get to that. | 对 还没有 |
| [1:05:37] | I have three. | 我都有3个了 |
| [1:05:39] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [1:05:40] | Three kids to carry on the dick legacy. | 都是小弟弟弄出来的 |
| [1:05:42] | How the hell did you have any kids with | 你不是只吹箫吗 |
| [1:05:44] | All the penises you’ve blown? | 怎么搞出那么多个孩子 |
| [1:05:46] | I sucked my own dick and spit it into their vagina. | 我把自己的精液吹进她们的阴道里 |
| [1:05:51] | I mean, knowing that. | 大多数人 |
| [1:05:52] | Most people just go through life asleep anyways. | 一辈子都浑浑噩噩 |
| [1:05:54] | Some of those people don’t even wake up | 有些人一直迷迷糊糊 |
| [1:05:56] | Until they get, you know, | 直到有天 |
| [1:05:57] | The Dr. Death call, you know. | 他们接到死神的电话 |
| [1:05:58] | “This is Dr. Death! You’re going to die. “ | 我是死神 你要死了 |
| [1:06:01] | “Don’t be afraid, George. | 不要怕 乔治 |
| [1:06:03] | “It’s just death calling. Cheer up, motherfucker!” | 不过是死亡的召唤 看开点 浑蛋 |
| [1:06:08] | Yeah. Fuck negativity. | 看开个毛 |
| [1:06:10] | Fuck it in the ass with a Chinese monkey! | 操他娘的蛋 见鬼去吧 |
| [1:06:13] | I wish I wasn’t so fucking angry with you right now. | 真想心平气和的和你唠唠家常 |
| [1:06:16] | Well, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t a good brother. | 抱歉 我不是个好哥哥 |
| [1:06:19] | You were a terrible brother. | 你简直太烂了 |
| [1:06:20] | You just left us and you didn’t care. | 扔下我们 管都不管 |
| [1:06:22] | You didn’t give a shit about us. | 一点儿都没放在心里 |
| [1:06:24] | – You don’t even give a… – You moved to Kansas. | -你连一句…-你不是搬到堪萨斯去了吗 |
| [1:06:26] | – Am I supposed to visit you in Kansas? – Yes. | -那我该去堪萨斯串串门吗 -对呀 |
| [1:06:28] | I thought that’s why you moved there, | 我以为你不想被打扰 |
| [1:06:29] | So you didn’t get visitors. | 才搬去哪里的 |
| [1:06:30] | You’re so fucking selfish. | 你可真自私 |
| [1:06:32] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [1:06:33] | You’ve only seen my son, like, three times. | 你见过我儿子几面 也就3次吧 |
| [1:06:36] | I send him fucking DVDs all the time. | 我一直给他寄DVD啊 |
| [1:06:39] | He doesn’t want your DVDs. | 他不需要你的DVD |
| [1:06:41] | He wants you to be a part of his life. | 他想你成为他生活中的一部分 |
| [1:06:43] | He wants to be a part of yours. | 他想成为你生活中的一部分 |
| [1:06:45] | Wow. This has been great. | 太感人了 |
| [1:06:47] | I want to call dad now and just have more family time. | 我要给爸打电话 多和家人聚聚 |
| [1:06:51] | What did we ever do to you? I’m not dad. | 我们对你做了什么 我跟爸不一样 |
| [1:06:57] | You are right. | 你说对了 |
| [1:06:59] | You’re very, very nice, and I’m sorry I don’t know your son. | 你很好 非常好 抱歉我不了解你儿子 |
| [1:07:03] | I’m sorry I don’t know you anymore. | 抱歉 我也不了解你了 |
| [1:07:06] | I’m glad you don’t know me. | 幸好你也不了解我 |
| [1:07:09] | I wish I did. | 我希望我不了解你 |
| [1:07:11] | You’d be let down, believe me. | 相信我 你会失望的 |
| [1:07:22] | Oh, man. | 哥们 |
| [1:07:30] | Oh, god. | 老天 |
| [1:07:35] | Who’s that? | 谁啊 |
| [1:07:36] | That’s the girl I was gonna marry… | 我以前想娶的那丫头 |
| [1:07:40] | …but then she smartened up. | 之后她就潇洒去了 |
| [1:07:43] | So, she’s 10 and she’s six. | 这个10岁 这个6岁 |
| [1:07:45] | So cute. | 好可爱 |
| [1:07:48] | Jeez, she looks like you, the little one, huh? | 这个小的可真像你啊 |
| [1:07:51] | What’s the matter? Your guy doesn’t have any DNA in him? | 咋回事 一点都没遗传你老公啊 |
| [1:07:54] | That’s all Laura. | 完全是劳拉的翻版 |
| [1:07:57] | They fight a lot, but they’re cute. | 她们很爱打闹 不过很可爱 |
| [1:07:59] | Yeah. Thank you so much for coming here. | 多谢你能来看我 |
| [1:08:03] | I wanted to come. I wanted to see you. | 我从前也想看你来着 |
| [1:08:05] | You didn’t have to come here. | 你没必要来 |
| [1:08:06] | You didn’t have to. I know it’s stressful for you. | 你不必来 这会给你带来很大压力 |
| [1:08:09] | I’m just… I’m just… I’m so sorry. | 我只是…我很抱歉 |
| [1:08:12] | I’m so sorry about everything I did. | 抱歉我以往的所作所为 |
| [1:08:15] | You don’t have to be sorry. That was 12 years ago. | 没必要说抱歉 都过去12年了 |
| [1:08:18] | Everything worked out for the best. | 结局总会变好的 |
| [1:08:20] | It’s good. Look at your life. This is great. | 多好 看你现在的生活很不错 |
| [1:08:22] | Yes. It’s the best life. I hate it. I hate it all. | 对 这是最好的生活 我恨死了 |
| [1:08:28] | – I haven’t been… – You don’t hate it. | -我没有…-你不是 |
| [1:08:29] | I’m addicted to it, I guess. I keep doing it. | 估计上瘾了 还得接着过下去 |
| [1:08:32] | Hello, Wayne. This is Ira. I’m calling to say | 韦恩 我是艾拉 我打给你说声 |
| [1:08:35] | I don’t think today is a good day for | 我认为你今天来看 |
| [1:08:38] | You to come by and see George. | 乔治不太适合 |
| [1:08:39] | Maybe tomorrow. | 明天还差不多 |
| [1:08:40] | So, I’ll give you a call when I know | 我看好日程表 |
| [1:08:41] | what the schedule looks like. | 再打给你吧 |
| [1:08:42] | Thank you. I’ll talk to you soon. | 谢谢 一会儿打给你 |
| [1:08:46] | You have a family now. You have a family now. | 你都成家了 都有家人了 |
| [1:08:48] | I’m so happy. You did the right thing. You moved on. | 我很高兴 当时你作对了 挺过去了 |
| [1:08:51] | You got a good life. | 生活过的多好 |
| [1:08:53] | And… And I just got nothing, Laura. I hate that. | 而我一无所有 劳拉 真讨厌 |
| [1:08:56] | I hate that it could have been me with you. | 本应该我和你走到一起的 |
| [1:08:59] | Don’t do that, please? | 拜托别说那个 |
| [1:09:00] | I’m sorry. I just fucking… | 抱歉 我昏了头了… |
| [1:09:02] | You… I could have had those kids with you. | 你…本来应该是我和你生下这些孩子的 |
| [1:09:05] | How could you cheat on me? I was so hot. | 你怎么能背叛我 我不漂亮吗 |
| [1:09:09] | You were. You were so hot. I don’t know. | 你很漂亮 我不知道 |
| [1:09:11] | I was hot! | 我很漂亮 |
| [1:09:12] | I don’t even know what the fuck I was doing. | 我也不知道当时怎么搞的 |
| [1:09:15] | I was just a stupid idiot. I don’t remember anybody else. | 真白痴 别人我都不记得了 |
| [1:09:20] | – What was wrong with you? – I don’t remember anybody else. | -你怎么了 -别人我都不记得了 |
| [1:09:21] | I only remember you. I don’t know. | 我只记得你 我也不知道 |
| [1:09:23] | I don’t even know who they were, who fucking ruined us. | 我甚至不知道谁拆散的咱们 |
| [1:09:26] | They’re not in my brain, ever. It’s like it didn’t happen. | 我记不清了 就像从没发生过 |
| [1:09:30] | The only thing that happened was us. | 唯一记得的就是咱俩 |
| [1:09:32] | And you ran away ’cause you had to. | 你得离开我 而且是必须的 |
| [1:09:34] | I had to go. | 我不得不走 |
| [1:09:36] | At the time, I just couldn’t do it anymore. | 那时候我再也受不了了 |
| [1:09:40] | Yeah. But you know what I realized? | 但是我想明白了一件事 |
| [1:09:42] | I love my husband, | 我爱我老公 |
| [1:09:45] | But it’s just not the same. | 但和你是不一样的 |
| [1:09:49] | And I loved you so much and… | 过去我非常爱你 |
| [1:09:54] | I know, I know, I know, I know. | 这我知道 |
| [1:09:56] | I have the same thing. I have the same thing. | 我跟你一样 |
| [1:09:59] | Don’t feel bad. Don’t feel bad. | 不要难过 |
| [1:10:02] | I love you. I love you. I always loved you. | 我爱你 一直爱你 |
| [1:10:05] | And the crazy thing is he cheats on me, too. | 最荒唐的就是他也背叛我 |
| [1:10:09] | I hate… | 真讨厌 |
| [1:10:10] | He’s like an Australian you. | 他和你一样花 |
| [1:10:13] | I fucking hate this guy. Is he crazy? | 这家伙真恨人 他疯了不成 |
| [1:10:17] | It’s just that you were the one. | 你是唯一 |
| [1:10:20] | Just you are… Were… Are the love… | 是我…现在的…从前的…的爱 |
| [1:10:28] | Love of my life. And I just love you. | 一生的爱人 我只爱你 |
| [1:10:40] | Yeah, the hug was a mistake, wasn’t it? | 这个时候真不该拥抱啊 |
| [1:10:46] | You’re not sick, are you? | 你没病吧 |
| [1:10:48] | You’re just doing that to get me down here, huh? | 你这么做就是拒绝我吧 |
| [1:10:54] | There are those hands again. | 还是这双手 |
| [1:10:56] | My big hands. | 一双大手 |
| [1:10:58] | Always made my penis look small. | 相比之下我小弟弟好小 |
| [1:11:01] | Thank you, hands, for that complex. | 谢谢你 大手啊 真难忘啊 |
| [1:11:05] | Yes. Jeez. | 天啊 |
| [1:11:08] | The two of them together, it was a guaranteed dwarfing. Okay. | 两只放一起 显得就更小了 |
| [1:11:25] | That was worth it. | 这样才对 |
| [1:11:27] | We’re into overtime now, just so you know. | 现在要算加班时间了 |
| [1:11:29] | Jeez, that came quick. | 时间过得好快 |
| [1:11:31] | I wish that you guys were really my friends | 还是不是好哥们啊 |
| [1:11:33] | And I didn’t have to pay you to jam with me. | 陪我练歌 还跟我提钱 |
| [1:11:37] | All right, so let’s keep going then. | 好吧 那就继续吧 |
| [1:11:53] | All my little plans and schemes | 所有的计划打算 |
| [1:11:59] | Lost like some forgotten dream | 如梦一般被遗忘 |
| [1:12:05] | Seems like all I… | 似乎… |
| [1:12:06] | – Diego. – Yes, George? | -蒂亚哥 -什么事 乔治 |
| [1:12:08] | The roses look terrific. | 玫瑰花开的好壮观 |
| [1:12:10] | Thank you. They sure look beautiful. | 谢谢 肯定看上去很漂亮 |
| [1:12:11] | Only a guy with a big cock | 你这样的爷们 |
| [1:12:13] | Like you could make roses this beautiful. | 才能把花伺候好啊 |
| [1:12:16] | Don’t need to be alone | 无需孤单一人 |
| [1:12:22] | No need to be alone | 无需孤单一人 |
| [1:12:29] | It’s real love it’s real | 真正的爱 |
| [1:12:34] | Yes, it’s real love | 真正的爱 |
| [1:12:37] | You doing stand-up at all? | 你做单人喜剧吗 |
| [1:12:38] | This is actually the first time I’ve left the house in three years. | 这是我3年来第一次离开自己的房子 |
| [1:12:41] | But I will sometimes, in my house, | 但我有时在我的屋子里 |
| [1:12:43] | In front of my kids, I’ll do five, six minutes. | 当着孩子的面 演个5到6分钟 |
| [1:12:45] | Not good stuff. | 也没好段子 |
| [1:12:46] | It’s a lot of “where you from?” you know. | 就是”你哪儿冒出来的啊”一些老节目 |
| [1:12:47] | But, you know, all kidding aside, | 不说笑了 |
| [1:12:49] | I know you’re in a terrible situation, | 我知道你情况很差 |
| [1:12:50] | But even with that, you look so much better than him. | 即使这样 你看上去也比他强 |
| [1:12:57] | The kingdom of heaven is, is in your hands | 天国尽在掌中 |
| [1:13:02] | I don’t expect for you to awake from your dreams | 不愿你从梦中醒来 |
| [1:13:07] | We watched your last movie on video. | 我们看了你上一部电影 |
| [1:13:09] | A man who is funny doesn’t have to work blue. | 那个人物即使没讲黄段子也很搞笑 |
| [1:13:12] | You don’t… You don’t have to do trash to be funny. | 你不必自毁形象来娱乐大众 |
| [1:13:14] | I’ll tell you who was a great comedian. | 我跟你说谁是最佳的笑星吧 |
| [1:13:16] | Please say me. Who? | 拜托那个人就是我把 哪个 |
| [1:13:17] | Jackie Gleason. | 杰克・格里森 |
| [1:13:18] | Yeah, of course. | 那当然 |
| [1:13:20] | You like him ’cause you look like art Carney. | 你喜欢他因为你长得像阿尔特・卡尼 |
| [1:13:24] | Gleason was terrific. And you ain’t so bad. | 格里森很棒 你也不是很差 |
| [1:13:28] | – All right. Thank you, pop. – I know. | – 好的 谢谢爸 -这我知道 |
| [1:13:30] | It’s real | 真爱 |
| [1:13:32] | It’s real love, oh, yeah | 真正的爱 |
| [1:13:37] | It’s real love, yeah | 真正的爱 |
| [1:13:43] | It’s real love it’s real | 真正的爱 |
| [1:13:52] | I think I played it all wrong, Ira. | 艾拉 我觉的把一切都演砸了 |
| [1:13:56] | I played it all wrong. | 都演砸了 |
| [1:14:04] | Okay. He’s here. We saw each other. Let me answer it. Mark. | 他来了 看到我了 我来开门 马克 |
| [1:14:07] | Stop. Let me answer it. Mark, man. | 不要 我开 马克 |
| [1:14:10] | Move, bitch! | 闪开 烂人 |
| [1:14:11] | Hey, George Simmons. Hey. | 乔治・西蒙斯 你好啊 |
| [1:14:14] | Happy Thanksgiving. Hey! | 感恩节快乐 |
| [1:14:15] | Mark. Leo is the name I got. | 马克 我叫里昂 |
| [1:14:17] | How are you? | 你好吗 |
| [1:14:18] | That’s right! Yeah, right. | 还好了 |
| [1:14:21] | Oh, boy. | 那个啊 |
| [1:14:22] | That movie’s the best ‘ | 那部电影是最棒的啊 |
| [1:14:24] | Cause you’re a man then you’re a baby | 你是个男人 然后是个宝宝 |
| [1:14:26] | And then you learn to be a man once you be… You need… | 然后你要学会当男人 因为…必须… |
| [1:14:29] | It takes becoming a baby to learn how to become a man. | 先变成宝宝再学会怎样当男人 |
| [1:14:32] | Yeah. Can we get you a drink or some food? | 需要饮料和吃的吗 |
| [1:14:34] | No, no, no. Let me just walk around and go through your shit. | 不必 让我四处逛逛搅和搅和就好 |
| [1:14:39] | Hey, I’m Bo. | 我是波 |
| [1:14:40] | What’s up, Bo? I’m an actor, so… | 好啊 波 我是个演员 |
| [1:14:42] | Oh, good, good, good, good, good, good. | 很好啊 很好啊 很好啊 |
| [1:14:46] | I’ve seen your act a lot. | 我看过你的表演好多次 |
| [1:14:48] | Really? Where? | 真的假的 在那儿 |
| [1:14:49] | Schmira, he has that… | 史玛丽 他有你的 |
| [1:14:52] | What’s that, the youtubey thing that, that… | 一些网上的视频 |
| [1:14:53] | The Youtube. | Youtube网站 |
| [1:14:54] | George and Daisy are here? How the hell did that happen? | 乔治和戴西都在这儿 怎么回事 |
| [1:14:57] | I didn’t think George would come, and who invited Daisy? | 我以为乔治不会来呢 谁邀请的戴西 |
| [1:15:00] | I invited her. | 我请来的 |
| [1:15:01] | Are you still sleeping with Daisy? | 你还和戴西上床吗 |
| [1:15:03] | No, I’m not sleeping with Daisy! | 没 我没有和戴西上床 |
| [1:15:04] | I have a new girlfriend now. | 我新交了一个女朋友 |
| [1:15:06] | I’m dating the girl who plays Mrs. Pruitt. | 扮演普鲁特夫人的女孩 |
| [1:15:08] | Her name’s Carla something. | 她叫什么卡拉 |
| [1:15:11] | Can I sit next to George at dinner? | 晚饭时我能坐在乔治旁边吗 |
| [1:15:13] | Sit wherever the hell you want to sit, man, why? | 你愿意坐哪儿就坐哪儿 |
| [1:15:15] | I feel like if I can just make George crack up once, | 我要是能让乔治再大笑一次 |
| [1:15:18] | It’ll do huge things for me, like… | 对我来说意义重大 |
| [1:15:20] | What, you wrote jokes for Thanksgiving? | 你还编了感恩节段子不成 |
| [1:15:21] | I didn’t write jokes. | 我没编段子 |
| [1:15:22] | I just wrote down my funniest anecdotes | 我只是把东一块西一块 |
| [1:15:24] | And punched them up here and there. | 最有意思的段子串到一起 |
| [1:15:26] | Okay, I can’t hide in the kitchen all afternoon. | 我不能整个下午都躲在厨房里 |
| [1:15:29] | I’m going. | 我要出去了 |
| [1:15:32] | My man. The Schmira. | 我哥们 史玛丽 |
| [1:15:33] | Thanks for coming, man. | 欢迎光临寒舍 |
| [1:15:35] | This is the best. Where’s your bedroom? | 这里一点都不寒啊 你的卧室在哪儿 |
| [1:15:37] | Well, get ready for a hike, ’cause you’re standing in it. | 打好背包远足吧 你离卧室远着呢 |
| [1:15:40] | No. It’s… Yeah, it’s pretty lame. | 好差劲啊 |
| [1:15:42] | Did you go to that Wilco Show? | 你去威尔科乐队歌会了吗 |
| [1:15:43] | Yeah, did you? | 对啊 去了吗 |
| [1:15:44] | No, actually, I didn’t. I scalped the tickets. | 实际上没有 我把票给卖了 |
| [1:15:47] | I made 100 bucks profit, so… | 赚了100块 |
| [1:15:49] | Oh. So, you owe me 50. | 那你欠我50 |
| [1:15:53] | Okay, I guess I do. Rain check, okay? | 好吧 改天再说这个好吗 |
| [1:15:56] | Money order. | 那就汇款 |
| [1:15:57] | Money order? That’ll work. Yeah. | 汇款 那也成 |
| [1:15:58] | – Paypal? Are you on paypal? – Yeah, paypal it up. | -贝宝(类似支付宝) 你有贝宝吗 -行 网上转给我吧 |
| [1:16:00] | Look at that, back and forth, like a cute couple. | 瞧瞧啊 一唱一合 真像小两口 |
| [1:16:03] | You’re like Marc Anthony and J. Lo. | 就像马克・安东尼和珍妮弗・洛佩兹 |
| [1:16:05] | You know, we actually had a date, | 我俩以前约过会 |
| [1:16:07] | But then I had sex with that guy, | 然后我和那个家伙睡了一下 |
| [1:16:09] | So Schmira broke it off. | 史玛丽就和我吹了 |
| [1:16:11] | You kidding me? | 逗我玩吧 |
| [1:16:12] | Don’t worry, Ira. | 别担心 艾拉 |
| [1:16:12] | You know you’re a better lover than Pete rose over there. | 你比那边的瘦猴强多了 |
| [1:16:15] | Look at him. He’s got the length and the width. | 瞧瞧他啊 要个有个 要型有型 |
| [1:16:17] | Imagine that dong of his. | 想一下他那个老二 |
| [1:16:19] | I saw the tip of it one time. | 一次我瞧见了那个龟头 |
| [1:16:20] | Even that was too big for me. | 也比我的大多了 |
| [1:16:21] | No, it’s very normal. Yeah. | 不是 一般大小吧 |
| [1:16:23] | So, you like big penises? | 这么说 你喜欢大个的 |
| [1:16:24] | Well, you know, I have a really skinny vagina, so… | 其实我的阴道很紧 |
| [1:16:27] | If it’s skinny, you should try feeding it carbs. | 那就往里面灌点碳酸饮料 |
| [1:16:30] | Yeah. All right, well, jeez, you know what? | 好玩 天呀 |
| [1:16:32] | I’m gonna leave you two alone, huh? | 我要失陪一下 你俩玩吧 |
| [1:16:34] | Yeah, okay. | 好吧 |
| [1:16:35] | I’m falling in love with the both of you. | 你们俩人我都很喜欢 |
| [1:16:37] | Let the awkwardness begin! | 火花就要擦出来了 |
| [1:16:38] | Love your work. | 喜欢你的作品 |
| [1:16:42] | I’m sorry. I owe you an apology. | 抱歉 我该向你抱歉的 |
| [1:16:44] | It’s really weird what I did. | 我那天是挺怪的 |
| [1:16:45] | I basically yelled at you for cheating on | 基本是在没有真正谈话之前 |
| [1:16:47] | Me before we had even had a real conversation. | 我就朝你大喊大叫 怪你背叛我 |
| [1:16:49] | So, I’m aware of that. I know that’s weird, and I’m sorry. | 我想明白了 那个好古怪 抱歉 |
| [1:16:52] | Well, it’s not as weird as getting drunk | 喝醉了和学生乱搞一气 |
| [1:16:54] | And having sex with the guy from yo teach…! So… | 说来也不古怪 |
| [1:16:57] | It’s okay. When I first moved here, I blew mr. Belvedere. | 我第一次搬过来的时候 自己打飞机 |
| [1:17:01] | So, everyone does that. | 大家都那么做 |
| [1:17:03] | He’s walking. George is walking to us. | 他过来了 乔治朝我们过来了 |
| [1:17:05] | Hello, ladies. | 小姐们好啊 |
| [1:17:07] | So, Leo? what’s the excuse for not writing me jokes? | 里奥 你不给我写段子的借口是什么 |
| [1:17:11] | – What? – You could have made money. | -你说什么 -你本可以挣一笔的 |
| [1:17:13] | I told both you guys to write jokes for me | 我让你们俩给我写段子 |
| [1:17:15] | And you decided not to. | 你却没答应 |
| [1:17:16] | What, did you have to go to lenscrafters that day? | 怎么 你那天得去配眼镜吗 |
| [1:17:20] | I was just joking. I like your glasses. | 开玩笑而已 我挺喜欢你的眼镜的 |
| [1:17:24] | He wanted both of us to write jokes for him | 他想让我们俩给他写段子 |
| [1:17:26] | And you didn’t tell me? | 你却不告诉我? |
| [1:17:27] | I apologize. it’s not worth, like, losing your shit over, man. | 兄弟 我道歉行了吧 没必要这么歇斯底里 |
| [1:17:30] | What, you don’t think I like money? | 你觉得我不喜欢钱吗 |
| [1:17:31] | You don’t think I like private jets? | 你觉得我不喜欢私人飞机吗 |
| [1:17:32] | You don’t think I want a cool job | 你觉得我不想要这份 |
| [1:17:34] | Writing for George Simmons? | 给乔治・西蒙斯写东西的工作吗 |
| [1:17:35] | I just think you’re doing well. | 我只是觉得你已经干的很棒了 |
| [1:17:36] | You know, you’re getting gigs at the improv all the time. | 你已经即兴表演得如鱼得水了 |
| [1:17:39] | You’re gonna have people writing for you. | 以后会有专门为你写作的人 |
| [1:17:41] | You don’t need to be writing for other people, you know. | 你不需要为别人写东西 |
| [1:17:44] | I know, I’m just… I’m sorry, I just… | 我明白 我只是 很抱歉 我只是 |
| [1:17:45] | I wanted something for myself and I just, you know… | 我想为自己争取点东西 我只是 |
| [1:17:48] | It’s just, you know, fuck you, Ira! | 只是 你明白的 我操 埃拉 |
| [1:17:51] | Just ’cause you go into faggy-apology mode | 就因为你这么假惺惺的道个歉 |
| [1:17:53] | Doesn’t mean I’m gonna forgive you right away! | 并不表示我会马上原谅你 |
| [1:17:55] | Fuck you, man. | 操你的 |
| [1:17:56] | I did the exact same thing you’ve been doing this whole time. | 我只是做了你一直在做的事 |
| [1:17:59] | You’re being competitive. you do that all the time. | 你太好胜了 一直都是的 |
| [1:18:01] | I’m doing it now, okay? | 现在我也这样 不行吗 |
| [1:18:02] | – I didn’t make it competitive! – Yes, you did. | -我没跟你竞争 -你有 |
| [1:18:04] | Have you ever had to work for money? no. | 你有为生计所迫过吗 没有吧 |
| [1:18:06] | You didn’t work at a coal mine, Ira! | 你又不是在煤矿里挖煤 埃拉 |
| [1:18:08] | You worked at a deli! stop crying about it! | 只是在熟食店工作 别抱怨了 |
| [1:18:11] | I was only supposed to be on that pull-out couch for six months! | 而且我本来只用在那沙发床上睡六个月的 |
| [1:18:13] | And we were supposed to trade! and we never did! | 我们应该交换的 但从没换过 |
| [1:18:15] | Yeah, we never did switch after six months. | 对 六个月后我们从未交换过 |
| [1:18:17] | Yeah. exactly. | 对 相当对 |
| [1:18:18] | You know why? ’cause I pay rent, ira! | 知道为什么吗 因为房租是我付的 埃拉 |
| [1:18:20] | You don’t pay rent. your parents pay rent! | 不是你付的 是你爸妈付的 |
| [1:18:21] | Why don’t they move in? it’s your fault. | 他们才应该来睡床 明明就是你的错 |
| [1:18:23] | Hey, hey, hey. Pilgrims, Indians, | 嘿嘿嘿 清教徒 印第安人 |
| [1:18:27] | Can we please stop fighting? | 别吵了好吗 |
| [1:18:29] | It’s Thanksgiving. we have guests inside. please stop. | 今天是感恩节 我们有客人 麻烦消停一下 |
| [1:18:32] | I’m not fighting anymore. I’m done fighting. | 我不吵了 讨厌吵架 |
| [1:18:34] | – Thank you. – You called Daisy a starfucker? | -多谢 -你说黛西是傍星族 |
| [1:18:36] | Why don’t you go cup George Simmons’ balls | 那你干吗不每晚抓着乔治・西蒙斯的蛋 |
| [1:18:38] | While you talk him to sleep every night, Ira? | 哄着他睡觉呢 埃拉 |
| [1:18:41] | Leo. | 里奥 |
| [1:18:43] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [1:18:44] | I would let you do that, too. my balls are for everybody. | 要不你来试试吧 我的蛋不挑食的 |
| [1:18:50] | Okay. it’s starting to feel like Thanksgiving around here. | 好吧 开始有点感恩节的气氛了 |
| [1:18:54] | Let’s eat some food. | 我们去吃点东西吧 |
| [1:19:01] | I can’t believe you screwed Daisy, man. | 你竟然搞了黛西 伙计 |
| [1:19:06] | What? | 什么 |
| [1:19:08] | So, does anybody want to say grace or anything? | 有人要做餐前祷告或者说点什么吗 |
| [1:19:11] | Leo’s a good writer, apparently. come on, get up there. | 显然 里奥是个好作家 来吧 起来吧 |
| [1:19:13] | Yeah, Leo. | 是啊 里奥 |
| [1:19:15] | Leo! do it, Leo. | 里奥 来吧 里奥 |
| [1:19:16] | I’m okay, I’m okay. | 下回吧 下回吧 |
| [1:19:18] | All right, let me go. I’ll do it for us. | 好吧 我来吧 我来为大家说点什么 |
| [1:19:20] | Let me get it done. | 我来致词吧 |
| [1:19:22] | Okay, so first let’s give thanks to our families not being here. | 首先很庆幸我们的家人没有来 |
| [1:19:28] | It’s always easier, always easier without the family. | 家人不来 总是自在一些的 |
| [1:19:32] | It’s funny | 真不可思议 |
| [1:19:34] | I see you guys and you are just so much younger than me. | 直到今天我看着你们 |
| [1:19:36] | And I had no idea I was the old guy until I looked at you guys. | 比我年轻的你们 才明白自己真的老了 |
| [1:19:41] | It was like when I was growing up, I had a big nose. | 就好像小时候 我鼻子一直很大 |
| [1:19:43] | I had no idea until | 但却一直不自知 |
| [1:19:44] | I went to the GAP and saw a three-way mirror, | 直到某天我到嘉普[服装店]面对着三面镜 |
| [1:19:46] | And I was like, “wow, I didn’t know I had that thing. “ | 才突然发现 哇 我怎么有这么大个鼻子 |
| [1:19:50] | Yeah. no, it’s a… it’s good to be young. | 其实 年轻真的很好 |
| [1:19:53] | It kind of sucks being old, so just enjoy this. | 老了就越来越衰 所以享受青春吧 |
| [1:19:56] | Enjoy time. time slips away, I promise you. | 享受时光吧 白驹过隙 真的 |
| [1:20:00] | I had a dinner like this 20 years ago | 20年前我也参加过这样一个聚会 |
| [1:20:04] | With guys that we just, like, lost touch with each other. | 和朋友们一起 但现在大家都失去联系了 |
| [1:20:08] | I never talk to them anymore. some of them are dead. | 我再没跟他们联络过 有些已去世了 |
| [1:20:12] | So, yeah, you don’t… things slip away. | 所以 你们不要 沧海桑田 |
| [1:20:18] | If you love somebody, don’t let them slip away. | 如果你爱着某人 千万别错过他们 |
| [1:20:22] | I swear to you, | 我保证 |
| [1:20:24] | This will be your most memorable Thanksgiving, | 这会是你们最难忘的感恩节 |
| [1:20:27] | The one that you’ll want the rest of your life | 能让你回味一生的感恩节 |
| [1:20:29] | the one that you say, | 能让你赞不绝口说 |
| [1:20:30] | “Man, it was never as good as that night. “ | 老兄 那天晚上的时光真是无与伦比 |
| [1:20:32] | So, let this night be great. enjoy the taste of Leo’s balls. | 所以 享受这个夜晚吧 享受里奥的蛋蛋 |
| [1:20:39] | Rock ‘n ‘ roll! | 动起来吧 |
| [1:20:41] | Jesus, every time I’m near you | 天哪 每次站在你旁边 |
| [1:20:43] | I feel like fucking Danny DeVito. | 我都觉得自己像他妈的丹尼・德维托[意指很矮] |
| [1:20:45] | Everybody feels like | 我旁边的人 |
| [1:20:46] | Danny DeVito when you know they walk by me. | 都觉得自己像丹尼・德维托 |
| [1:20:48] | Yeah. you’re a giant. | 是啊 你就是个巨人 |
| [1:20:54] | I don’t want to get your hopes up. | 我不想让你过分乐观 |
| [1:20:56] | We put you on this experimental medication | 我们让你做这个实验治疗时 |
| [1:20:59] | Without much optimism. | 没报多大希望 |
| [1:21:00] | About 8% of all the people that | 做这个治疗大约8%的患者 |
| [1:21:03] | We put on this medication get positive results. | 结果是好的 |
| [1:21:05] | You actually belong to these 8%. | 而你就属于这8%的幸运儿 |
| [1:21:09] | I looked through your blood work, | 我检查了你的血液系统 |
| [1:21:10] | And I couldn’t find any traces of the disease. | 没有发现任何疾病迹象 |
| [1:21:14] | I don’t want to speak too soon, | 我不想这么早就告诉你的 |
| [1:21:17] | But we may have beaten this thing. | 但说不定你已经战胜病魔了 |
| [1:21:21] | Are you fucking with me ’cause I fucked with you? | 你是在报复我拿你说笑吗 |
| [1:21:24] | So, that’s the good news, Mr. Bond. | 这就是好消息了 邦德先生 |
| [1:21:29] | So, this is, this is… this is good news. | 这是 这是好消息 |
| [1:21:33] | Like my accent now? | 现在喜欢我的口音了吗 |
| [1:21:35] | Now I like your accent, yeah. | 现在我确实喜欢你的口音了 |
| [1:21:38] | I was excited all morning to tell you this news. | 我兴奋了一早上想告诉你这个消息 |
| [1:21:41] | So, what happens now? what do i… what do I do now? | 怎么办 我该 该干些什么 |
| [1:21:44] | Maybe you can make another funny movie | 也许你可以再去演喜剧电影 |
| [1:21:46] | That I could laugh about. | 让我笑笑 |
| [1:21:47] | Yeah. wow. | 对哦 |
| [1:21:49] | I wasn’t expecting this to really work. | 我真没指望治疗能成功 |
| [1:21:53] | I was getting used to being sick. | 我都习惯当病人了 |
| [1:21:54] | I was actually thinking I was pretty good at that. | 我真的认为自己已经接受这个现实了 |
| [1:21:57] | Get back to your life. | 回归你以前的生活吧 |
| [1:22:07] | Hey, this is Ira. I’m not in. leave a message. | 嘿 我是埃拉 现在不在家 请留言 |
| [1:22:11] | Ira, I have a secret to tell you. | 埃拉 我有个秘密要告诉你 |
| [1:22:15] | It will make you happy. | 你会很高兴的 |
| [1:22:36] | Hi. Bonita? | 嗨 伯尼塔 |
| [1:22:38] | George. | 乔治 |
| [1:22:42] | I was sick, you know that. and I just went to the doctor’s. | 我生过病 你知道吧 然后我去看医生 |
| [1:22:45] | He said I’m not sick anymore. | 他说我的病已经好了 |
| [1:22:48] | Oh, congratulations. | 恭喜啊 |
| [1:22:53] | I found the pants you’re looking for. they are in the closet. | 我找到了你一直找不到的裤子 在贮藏室里 |
| [1:22:59] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [1:23:01] | Bye, George. | 再见 乔治 |
| [1:23:04] | George! is it true? | 乔治 是真的吗 |
| [1:23:07] | – It’s true. – Yes! | -是真的 -太好了 |
| [1:23:09] | It’s all right. all right, go ahead. | 没事 没事 来吧 |
| [1:23:10] | All right. | 没事了 |
| [1:23:11] | Oh, god! yeah! | 天哪 太好了 |
| [1:23:15] | All right, baby. | 没事了 宝贝 |
| [1:23:16] | All right, all right. now what the fuck do we do? | 没事了 都好了 现在我们去玩儿点什么 |
| [1:23:21] | Hey, congratulations, George. that’s awesome, man. | 嘿 恭喜你 乔治 真是太棒了 伙计 |
| [1:23:23] | – Thank you. – You got cured of AIDS. | -谢谢 -你竟然治好了艾滋 |
| [1:23:25] | I didn’t have AIDS. | 我可没得艾滋 |
| [1:23:26] | Hey, let me get you a cocktail. | 嘿 我请你喝杯鸡尾酒吧 |
| [1:23:28] | Hey, not an AIDS cocktail. a regular. | 嘿 不会让你得艾滋的 普通的 |
| [1:23:29] | No, I don’t want a drink. I’m good. | 不 我才不想喝酒 我很好 |
| [1:23:31] | I’m gonna get one of them ribbons. | 我都想给医生发绶带了 |
| [1:23:34] | – You’re alive? – Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | -你还活着啊 -是啊… |
| [1:23:36] | Unbelievable! this guy. this guy, man. | 真是难以置信 这个家伙 这家伙 |
| [1:23:39] | You got the women, you got the fame | 女人你有了 名声你有了 |
| [1:23:41] | And you can’t fucking die! | 你还他妈的死不了 |
| [1:23:43] | Did you suck the devil’s dick? what is it, man? | 你是不是跟恶魔搞上了 到底怎么回事 伙计 |
| [1:23:45] | I wanna know the secret. | 我想知道秘密 |
| [1:23:46] | I actually told a bunch of people we did have sex, | 其实我告诉了一些人我们做过爱 |
| [1:23:48] | So if you could go along with that. | 如果你还想继续的话 |
| [1:23:50] | – You did? – Yes. | -真的吗 -是的 |
| [1:23:51] | Everybody wants to fuck me, but it’s better that I don’t | 每个人都想跟我做爱 但我最好拒绝 |
| [1:23:55] | Because you don’t want… | 因为你不会想要 |
| [1:23:57] | The mystery is definitely more flattering… | 神秘感总是更吸引人一些的 |
| [1:23:59] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
| [1:24:00] | …and the reality is so, like, flobbety. | 如果太现实就会很晃荡 |
| [1:24:03] | – Like not the word, but… – Floppety? yeah, lippety. | -好像说错了 应该是 -浪荡吗 哦是放荡 |
| [1:24:05] | Yeah, I look like this. like a sandwich. | 对 我看起来就像个三明治 |
| [1:24:07] | Like a… there’s, like, meat coming. | 像个 看 肉肉溜出来啦 |
| [1:24:10] | That would have been… I could get… | 是有点像 看出来了 |
| [1:24:12] | Look at that! | 看看啊 |
| [1:24:14] | “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!” | 咿噼基呀 操你妈的 |
| [1:24:16] | Shit! shit! I didn’t know you had energy like that. Jesus… | 该死 该死 我都不知道你这么有力 天哪 |
| [1:24:21] | How did he… like, how did he know he had it? | 他怎么 他是怎么知道自己病了的 |
| [1:24:24] | He was saying… | 他说是 |
| [1:24:25] | He said that he was, like, dizzy and tired | 他说他有点头晕乏力 |
| [1:24:27] | And he went to the doctor, | 就去看医生了 |
| [1:24:28] | And then he just got… it was in his blood work. | 然后他就病了 影响血液功能的病 |
| [1:24:31] | That sucks ’cause I get dizzy and tired. | 糟糕 我也感觉头晕乏力 |
| [1:24:34] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [1:24:35] | Anybody… anybody gets sick, I think I’m going to get it. | 所有人 每个人都会生病 我觉得我也要病了 |
| [1:24:38] | Now, is it contagious? it’s not contagious? | 现在问题是 它会传染吗 不会传染吧 |
| [1:24:40] | – No. – Can you get it, like… | -不会 -你会被传染吗 就像 |
| [1:24:41] | I hope not. I don’t think so. I’ve been around him a lot. I feel… | 希望不会 我不觉得 我经常在他身边 我感觉… |
| [1:24:45] | – I feel… – I hope not, too, because | -我感觉…-我也希望不会 因为 |
| [1:24:46] | When you were talking, a little bit of your spit hit my lip, so… | 你讲话时 有一点口水喷到我嘴巴上了 所以 |
| [1:24:49] | – It did? – Yeah. not that you got it, | -真的吗 -是 你不一定会被传染 |
| [1:24:51] | But he spits on your lip, you spit on mine, | 但他的口水喷到你嘴上 你再喷到我嘴上 |
| [1:24:53] | Next thing you know I’m dead | 不久你就可能听说我的死讯 |
| [1:24:54] | And my wife’s fucking George Lopez. | 以及我老婆上了乔治・洛佩兹的床 |
| [1:24:55] | But I think the best thing for you would be, you know… | 但是我觉得你最好是 知道吗 |
| [1:24:57] | The best cure, besides the real cure, | 其实除了药物治疗之外最好的治疗方法 |
| [1:24:59] | Is to get back to work and do what you do. | 就是回去继续工作 做你原来的工作 |
| [1:25:03] | There are stacks of offers on my desk for you. | 我桌上有一堆给你的片约 |
| [1:25:05] | I mean, you can’t swing a dead cat | 你得重新开始工作 |
| [1:25:06] | Without hitting an offer for you. | 才算是真正复活了啊 |
| [1:25:08] | – Oh, good. – Yeah, you ready for this? | -这样啊 -对 你准备好了吗 |
| [1:25:10] | Paul Rudd wants to do a bromance with you. | 保罗・路德想跟你演哥俩好 |
| [1:25:12] | I think I might… I just might even not work for a little while. | 我觉得我 我可能暂时不会再做任何工作 |
| [1:25:15] | I was thinking maybe just, like, taking time off, | 我正在考虑 或许该休息一下 |
| [1:25:16] | Try to get myself in a relationship with, like, | 试着让自己过一种普通的生活 就像 |
| [1:25:20] | Another human being, a normal one. | 所有的人类 所有普通的人类 |
| [1:25:22] | Just see if I can handle that. | 来看看我搞不搞得定 |
| [1:25:23] | Funny you should say that. I’ve… ’cause I invited someone. | 这话从你嘴里出来还真奇怪 其实我 我请了个人 |
| [1:25:26] | Brought. Invite this woman here today I think you’d really like | 请了个你一定中意的女人来这 |
| [1:25:28] | I think you’d really hit it off with her. | 我觉得你一定能跟她打得火热 |
| [1:25:30] | She’s… she’s great. she’s something new for you. | 她 她很不错 对于你来说她很新鲜 |
| [1:25:32] | A real person. she’s not a waitress. | 是个正经的人 不是应召女 |
| [1:25:34] | She’s not an actress. | 也不是演员 |
| [1:25:36] | All right, thanks. | 好吧 谢谢 |
| [1:25:37] | You know, the internet dating thing actually… | 网上约会其实 |
| [1:25:39] | Actually kind of works. | 其实还是有点用的 |
| [1:25:41] | That’s good. | 不错啊 |
| [1:25:43] | I’ve actually been on a couple of jdates. | 其实我参加过一些犹约 |
| [1:25:44] | No way. what’s that? | 真的吗 那什么东西 |
| [1:25:45] | Yeah… what’s a jdate? | 对 你问犹约是什么吗 |
| [1:25:47] | What, is that an internet thing I should know about? | 怎么 是最新的网络用语吗 |
| [1:25:49] | I’m not… I don’t do that shit. | 我不 我不玩那个东西 |
| [1:25:50] | It’s a website where Jewish people can find each other. | 是一个犹太人交友网站 |
| [1:25:54] | – Really? a whole list of Jewish people? – Yeah. | -真的 会员名单里全是犹太人吗 -是啊 |
| [1:25:56] | I didn’t think Jewish people liked to be on lists. | 我还以为犹太人不喜欢被写在名单上呢 |
| [1:26:01] | Because of the holocaust. | 因为纳粹大屠杀 |
| [1:26:06] | How’s this going, by the way? | 再问一下 那网站怎么样 |
| [1:26:09] | It’s been great to meet you. | 认识你很高兴 |
| [1:26:12] | You know what? I think you fucked up. | 知道吗 我觉得你干了蠢事 |
| [1:26:17] | How’s that? | 怎么样 |
| [1:26:18] | I think you fucked up. I think… | 我觉得你干了蠢事 我觉得 |
| [1:26:21] | I don’t think you should have took that medicine. | 我觉得你不应该吃那药的 |
| [1:26:23] | Why not? | 为什么 |
| [1:26:25] | I don’t know. personally | 不知道 就我看来 |
| [1:26:27] | I think you should have just let yourself die. | 你该让自己死了算了 |
| [1:26:28] | Honestly, man, what are… what are you gonna do now? | 老实说 你现在 现在要怎么办 |
| [1:26:30] | Make another bullshit movie? | 再拍一部狗屁电影吗 |
| [1:26:32] | Fuck another chick who doesn’t like you? | 再随便搞一个小妞吗 |
| [1:26:35] | You know? that was your way out right there. | 知道吗 那就是你的人生之路 |
| [1:26:37] | Now you’re fucking stuck. | 现在你他妈的也搁浅了 |
| [1:26:39] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [1:26:40] | You’re stuck just like me. | 像我一样搁浅了 |
| [1:26:41] | Can’t go to fucking Chuck E. Cheese. | 又不能去他妈的查克芝士买买吃的 |
| [1:26:43] | I can’t go to Target, I can’t go to Best Buy. | 又不能去塔吉特 又不能去百思买 |
| [1:26:46] | I can’t go to fucking Wal-Mart, Kmart. | 更不能去他妈的沃尔玛 卡马特 |
| [1:26:47] | You fucking name it, I can’t go there. | 只能嘴上说说 就是不能去 |
| [1:26:49] | Yeah, that’s true. | 是啊 没错 |
| [1:26:50] | Everyone in this fucking room is either staring at us, | 这他妈的屋子里每个人都盯着我们看 |
| [1:26:53] | Wanting to take a fucking picture. | 想他妈的照一张照片 |
| [1:26:55] | Yeah. got it. | 照到了 |
| [1:26:56] | E- mail that to me. | 发给我 |
| [1:26:57] | – I will. that’s awesome. – Yeah. | -好 酷毙了 -是啊 |
| [1:26:59] | Who the fuck is that guy right there? | 那家伙他妈的是谁 |
| [1:27:02] | That fucking guy right there. | 站在那边的衰人 |
| [1:27:03] | What? Ray Romano’s bothering you? | 怎么了 雷・拉马诺惹到你了吗 |
| [1:27:06] | Who? Ray, Ray who? | 谁 雷 雷什么 |
| [1:27:07] | Ray Romano, the guy from everybody loves Raymond. | 雷・拉马诺 演了人人都爱雷蒙德的那家伙 |
| [1:27:10] | I don’t give a fuck what show he’s on. | 我他妈的才不管他演过什么 |
| [1:27:11] | I’ll fuck this motherfucker up, man! | 操他妈的 混蛋 |
| [1:27:13] | Hey. hey, Ray! | 嘿 嘿 雷 |
| [1:27:15] | Hello, Marshall. | 你好 马沙尔 |
| [1:27:16] | Fucking problem here, buddy? | 你他妈的有毛病吗 老兄 |
| [1:27:18] | Would you like to fuck me? is that what this is? | 你想操我吗 是这个意思吗 |
| [1:27:22] | I don’t get it, man. what’s going on? | 我糊涂了 伙计 怎么回事 |
| [1:27:23] | Would you like me to fucking bend over for you right now? | 你想让我现在就挺起来操你吗 |
| [1:27:26] | – Say no. – No, man. | -快说不想 -不想 伙计 |
| [1:27:29] | I just gotta always be on my toes, man. | 其实我一直都很小心 老兄 |
| [1:27:31] | You know? | 你明白吗 |
| [1:27:32] | I see that, but not with Ray Romano. | 我明白 但是别对雷・拉马诺这样 |
| [1:27:33] | This is why I don’t go out of the house. | 这就是我从不出门的原因 |
| [1:27:35] | I thought everybody loved you. | 我以为大家都喜欢你 |
| [1:27:39] | So, now that you got this, this second chance, man, like, | 所以 既然你有 有了这第二次机会 那么 |
| [1:27:42] | What do you want? | 你想要什么 |
| [1:27:44] | I kind of don’t want anything. | 我其实并不想要什么 |
| [1:27:47] | So, then what are we celebrating? | 那我们在庆祝什么 |
| [1:28:01] | Clarke? | 克拉克吗 |
| [1:28:02] | Yes, it’s Clarke. | 对 是克拉克 |
| [1:28:03] | It’s Clarke and i… I’m calling to check on you, matey. | 我是克拉克 打来关心关心你 亲爱的 |
| [1:28:09] | I’m back from the sea. it’s fun to play with my didjeridoo! | 我刚航海归来 吹迪吉里[澳洲土著人乐器]真好玩 |
| [1:28:14] | You sound a little bit like a pirate. | 你听起来有点像海盗啊 |
| [1:28:16] | Do I sound Australian? is this what Clarke sounds like? | 像澳洲人吗 像克拉克的口音吗 |
| [1:28:20] | That’s a terrible Australian accent. | 你这澳洲口音太可怕了 |
| [1:28:23] | What are you doing, Laura? | 你在干什么呢 劳拉 |
| [1:28:24] | – Am I bothering you? is he there? – No, no, no, no, no. | -我打扰你了吗 他在吗 -不不不 |
| [1:28:25] | Am I supposed to hang up? what’s going on? | 要我挂掉吗 你怎样了 |
| [1:28:27] | Clarke’s away for business in China. | 克拉克去中国出差了 |
| [1:28:29] | Ah! sent him out for egg rolls again? | 又让他去找炸春卷了吗 |
| [1:28:32] | Are you guys all right? what’s going on? | 你们都好吧 最近如何 |
| [1:28:35] | Mable has her recital tomorrow. | 梅波尔明天要登台演唱了 |
| [1:28:37] | She’s singing memory from cats. | 她要唱《猫》里面的《回忆》 |
| [1:28:39] | Oh, yeah? | 真的吗 |
| [1:28:40] | You know that song, memory? | 你知道这首歌吧 《回忆》 |
| [1:28:41] | Yeah. I wish I could be there to see that. | 是啊 真希望能亲眼看看 |
| [1:28:43] | You can come. | 那就来啊 |
| [1:28:44] | I can come? all right, I’m coming. | 我能去吗 好吧 我真去了 |
| [1:28:46] | Your daughter will be all right with that? | 如果看到我和你在台下紧紧相拥 |
| [1:28:47] | That I’m sitting right next to you holding you tight? | 你女儿不会有什么不满吧 |
| [1:28:50] | Stop. how are you feeling? | 打住 你感觉怎样 |
| [1:28:52] | I’m doing good. I’m doing… | 我很好 我正要 |
| [1:28:54] | It is what it is. I… | 就那样吧 我 |
| [1:28:56] | So, what happened with your tests? | 你的检查结果怎么样 |
| [1:28:58] | Laura, let’s not talk about all that. | 劳拉 我们不要谈这个行吗 |
| [1:29:01] | What did the doctor say? | 医生怎么说 |
| [1:29:02] | The swedish nazi? he never has good news. | 那个瑞典纳粹 他从来没有好消息的 |
| [1:29:07] | It is what it is. I don’t want to talk about it. | 该怎样就怎样 我不想谈这个 |
| [1:29:10] | Come on, let’s just talk about you. | 行了 我们谈谈你吧 |
| [1:29:13] | What are you doing, Laura? | 劳拉 你在做什么 |
| [1:29:15] | Do you want me to talk you to sleep? | 想让我边聊天边陪你睡着吗 |
| [1:29:17] | Oh, my god. you remember. | 天啊 你还记得 |
| [1:29:21] | You want me to do that for you? | 还想我那样做吗 |
| [1:29:22] | You will talk to me while I try to go to sleep? | 我睡觉的时候你会跟我说话吗 |
| [1:29:24] | I’ll put you on speakerphone. | 那我要开电话扬声器了 |
| [1:29:25] | That will be the best night of my life. | 这将是我人生中最好的夜晚 |
| [1:29:27] | Let’s not go to sleep yet, though, please. Just talk to Laura. | 我们先不要睡吧 就聊聊劳拉 |
| [1:29:34] | Hey, how’s it going? | 情况怎么样 |
| [1:29:36] | Ira, you’re my best friend. | 埃拉 你是我最好的朋友 |
| [1:29:37] | I like you, too. | 我也喜欢你 |
| [1:29:39] | You’re my best friend. | 你是我最好的朋友 |
| [1:29:41] | You sound like you’re in a good mood, man. | 你听上去心情很爽呀 |
| [1:29:43] | I’m in a great mood because we’re setting sail today. | 我心情超爽 我们马上要出海了 |
| [1:29:45] | We’re gonna do a gig together! | 我们要一起去探险 |
| [1:29:47] | Ira and Georgie, finally on the road! | 埃拉和乔治 终于上路了 |
| [1:29:50] | Oh, we’re setting sail, are we? where, where are we going? | 我们要出海吗 去哪里 |
| [1:29:54] | We’re going to the port of San Francisco. | 我们去旧金山港口 |
| [1:29:57] | We set sail on the morrow. | 明天就出发 |
| [1:29:58] | How much time am I supposed to do? | 持续多长时间 |
| [1:30:00] | Oh, they’ve booked you to do | 看你的老二有多长了 |
| [1:30:02] | A minute for every inch of cock you have. | 每英寸相当于一分钟 |
| [1:30:04] | You’ll be doing two and a half to four minutes, | 根据你的兴奋度 |
| [1:30:07] | Depending on your mood, little Ira. | 你大概只能持续两分半到四分钟了 小埃拉 |
| [1:30:10] | I was invited to a… or I was able to go to a fundraiser | 有人邀请我 我有幸参加过一个 |
| [1:30:15] | For Barack Obama, | 为巴拉克・奥巴马竞选总统 |
| [1:30:16] | when he was running for president. | 举办的资金筹集活动 |
| [1:30:18] | And you could walk right up to him and I did. | 可以近距离跟他接触 然后我就过去了 |
| [1:30:22] | And I prepared a smart question and I was like, | 还准备了一个很好的问题 类似于 |
| [1:30:26] | “Senator obama, when you were | “奥巴马参议员 当你还是一名 |
| [1:30:29] | a student in Boston, | 在波士顿的学生的时候 |
| [1:30:30] | Did you encounter any racism?” | 你有没有遭遇过种族歧视” |
| [1:30:33] | And he said something really, really interesting. he said… | 他的回答非常非常有趣 他说 |
| [1:30:40] | He said, “I’m Kanye West. “ | 他说 “我可是坎耶・维斯特[著名黑人说唱歌手]” |
| [1:30:48] | George, you have a visitor. | 乔治 有人找你 |
| [1:30:57] | All right. how are you? | 最近好吗 |
| [1:30:58] | I’m good. | 很好 |
| [1:30:59] | I’m so psyched you came. | 真激动你能过来 |
| [1:31:01] | – Wow, you look amazing! – Thank you. | -你看上去不错嘛 -谢谢 |
| [1:31:03] | – Beautiful. – I think I overdressed. | -你真漂亮 -我觉得穿得太隆重了 |
| [1:31:05] | No way. you look incredible. | 绝对没有 你美呆了 |
| [1:31:06] | I just… | 我只是 |
| [1:31:08] | Where… where is he? where is the Clarke? | 他在哪儿 克拉克呢 |
| [1:31:11] | The Clarke? he’s out of town. I was gonna | 克拉克 他出城了 我本想 |
| [1:31:13] | bring my friend Betsy with me, | 带我朋友贝丝一起来的 |
| [1:31:15] | But her son started throwing up, so… | 但她儿子有些呕吐 所以 |
| [1:31:17] | The husband’s out of town, baby’s vomiting. rock ‘n ‘ roll. | 丈夫出城了 婴儿在呕吐 癫狂的世界 |
| [1:31:20] | I like it. yeah. yeah. | 我喜欢 |
| [1:31:23] | Anyway, I don’t want to keep you | 不管怎样 我不想耽误你 |
| [1:31:25] | Or get in the way. | 碍你的事 |
| [1:31:26] | No, don’t run away. come on, Ira, say hello. | 别 别走啊 来 埃拉 打个招呼 |
| [1:31:28] | Hey, how’s it going? | 嗨 还好吧 |
| [1:31:30] | So, I’ll let you go. I just wanted to say hi. | 我得走了 我只是上来打个招呼 |
| [1:31:32] | No cursing. don’t curse so much. | 别说脏话 别老是说脏话 |
| [1:31:34] | Okay, all right! nothing dirty. | 好的 好的 不说脏话 |
| [1:31:35] | I don’t know how. | 我都不知道怎么开口了 |
| [1:31:36] | You just cut my set in half, | 你一下就把我的计划捣毁了一半 |
| [1:31:38] | but that’s fine. all right, see you, kid. | 但没关系 一会儿见 |
| [1:31:39] | Okay, good luck. | 好 祝你好运 |
| [1:31:41] | Thanks for coming. | 多谢捧场 |
| [1:31:44] | You gotta tell her I’m better at intermission, all right? | 中场休息时你去告诉她我好些了 行吗 |
| [1:31:48] | You haven’t told her that you’re better? | 你还没告诉她你好了吗 |
| [1:31:49] | No, I’m not good at stuff like that. | 没有 我不太善长这个 |
| [1:31:51] | Just… she’ll be cool with it. she’ll be… | 只是 她会不高兴的 她会 |
| [1:31:53] | You’re giving her good news, she’ll be happy. | 不过如果是你告诉她好消息 她就会开心的 |
| [1:31:56] | We’re gonna go by her house tomorrow, too. | 我们明天去她家拜访 |
| [1:31:59] | Yeah, we’re just visiting her. I just want to say hi, | 只是拜访她一下 我想去打个招呼 |
| [1:32:01] | See how she’s doing, where she lives, | 看看她在做什么 过得怎么样 |
| [1:32:03] | that kind of thing. | 诸如此类的 |
| [1:32:03] | Why did you guys break up in the first place? | 你们当初为什么要分手呢 |
| [1:32:07] | I cheated on her. | 我背叛了她 |
| [1:32:08] | Why would you cheat on her? | 为什么要背叛她 |
| [1:32:10] | It’s easy not to cheat when no one wants to fuck you, | 你守身如玉是因为没人想搞你啊 |
| [1:32:12] | You judgmental prick. | 卫道士同志 |
| [1:32:13] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [1:32:16] | I have a theory that Tom Cruise, | 关于汤姆・克鲁斯 |
| [1:32:17] | David Beckham | 大卫・贝克汉姆以及 |
| [1:32:19] | and Will Smith | 威廉・史密斯我有一个想法 |
| [1:32:21] | Have mooshed the heads of their penises together. | 我认为他们曾经3P过 |
| [1:32:25] | I think that this has happened. | 我觉得已经发生过了 |
| [1:32:27] | I don’t think it happened in a gay way. | 但我觉得他们3P不是因为同性恋 |
| [1:32:28] | I think it just happened out of boredom. | 我觉得他们只是因为无聊 |
| [1:32:30] | I think just rich-dude boredom. | 有钱人的无聊 |
| [1:32:32] | Just like, “what have we not done, guys? | 类似于”我们还有什么没做的 |
| [1:32:34] | we’ve done everything!” | 所有的事我们都做过了” |
| [1:32:35] | “i’ll tell you one thing we haven’t done. “ | “告诉你有一件事我们从未做过” |
| [1:32:38] | And I bet when it happened | 我敢说这事一定是做得 |
| [1:32:40] | It was an epic occurrence. it was huge. | 波澜壮阔 场面宏大 |
| [1:32:42] | I think of it all the time. | 我一直在想这个 |
| [1:32:43] | I think first, you know, | 我猜刚开始的时候 |
| [1:32:44] | David and Tom touched dick heads. | 是大卫和汤姆的激烈缠绵 |
| [1:32:45] | And it was easy, just zoonk. | 这很容易 |
| [1:32:47] | Because there was a magnetic field to it. | 毕竟有这么引人入胜的气氛 |
| [1:32:50] | And then Will Smith started approaching with his dick | 然后汤姆提枪逼近 |
| [1:32:51] | And, like, wind started blowing in his face, | 接着 微风拂过他的脸庞 |
| [1:32:53] | And paper started flying everywhere and he just couldn’t do it. | 纸片四处飞舞 但他就是做不了 |
| [1:32:58] | And they’re like, “come on, Will, get it in there!” | 另两人就说 “来吧 威尔 快点干吧” |
| [1:33:00] | “i can’t do it!” | “我做不到” |
| [1:33:01] | Beckham yells, | 贝克汉姆吼道 |
| [1:33:03] | “don’t cross the streams! it’s like ghost busters!” | “看过捉鬼敢死队吗 开弓没有回头箭” |
| [1:33:06] | And then he does it and flash by Queen starts playing. | 于是他干了 在皇后乐队的摇滚中熠熠生辉 |
| [1:33:08] | It’s just, flash! ahhh! | 熠熠生辉啊 |
| [1:33:10] | Light shoots into the sky! that’s how stars are born, I think. | 一道闪光射向天空 我想 明星都是这样出世的吧 |
| [1:33:16] | Anyway, I’m Ira Wright. | 就这样 我是埃拉・莱基 |
| [1:33:18] | Have a good night. thank you, all, very much. | 祝你们有个愉快的晚上 非常感谢 |
| [1:33:26] | Hey. how’s it going? | 怎么样 |
| [1:33:28] | That was so good! | 非常好 |
| [1:33:30] | You seem so surprised. | 你好像很惊讶 |
| [1:33:31] | Well, you looked so nervous before. | 因为你之前看起来很紧张 |
| [1:33:33] | I was, actually. | 实际上我就是很紧张 |
| [1:33:34] | That was good. that was really good. | 你做得很好 真的很好 |
| [1:33:35] | Thank you. I appreciate that. | 谢谢 非常感谢 |
| [1:33:37] | And the ball cleavage thing, that was hilarious. | 蛋蛋分离的那段 那段很搞笑 |
| [1:33:40] | Classic stuff. thank you. | 相当经典 谢谢 |
| [1:33:42] | Glad you’re having fun. | 你开心就好 |
| [1:33:46] | George says that he’s known you for a while. how did… | 乔治说他认识你有一阵子了 |
| [1:33:48] | – Yeah. – How did you guys first hook up? | -对 -你们是怎么认识的啊 |
| [1:33:50] | I was the hat-check girl at the improv | 我是即兴小剧场的衣帽间女服务员 |
| [1:33:52] | and I was an actress. | 曾经是个演员 |
| [1:33:53] | – So, you kind of… – yeah, yeah. | -那你应该是 -对对 |
| [1:33:54] | That’s good. | 那真好 |
| [1:33:55] | What were you in anything I might’ve seen? | 你有没有在我听说过的电影中出演过 |
| [1:33:57] | I did those, like, | 我参演过一些 像是 |
| [1:34:00] | Melrose place and 90210. | 新飞跃情海 还有90210 |
| [1:34:02] | Awesome. | 真棒 |
| [1:34:03] | I always played the bitch. | 我总是演泼妇 |
| [1:34:04] | I wasn’t that good, actually. | 其实我并不是那么棒 |
| [1:34:06] | No, you must be a great actress, | 不 你肯定是个超好的演员 |
| [1:34:07] | ’cause you’re not at all bitchy, so… | 因为你本身一点都不像泼妇 |
| [1:34:10] | Thanks, Ira. | 谢谢 埃拉 |
| [1:34:11] | Okay, look, I’m not… honestly, | 你看 我 老实说 |
| [1:34:14] | I’m not supposed to be telling you | 我本不该告诉你这个 |
| [1:34:16] | What I’m about to tell you because George… | 我想说的是 |
| [1:34:17] | he doesn’t want to jinx it. | 乔治还不想说出去的事 |
| [1:34:19] | It’s not 100%, | 并不是百分百肯定 |
| [1:34:21] | But the last time that he went to the doctor, | 但上次他去医生那里 |
| [1:34:23] | They couldn’t find any trace of the disease | 医生说血液检查显示 |
| [1:34:26] | In his blood work anymore, | 他已经没病了 |
| [1:34:27] | So it seems like he might be better. | 所以他可能痊愈了 |
| [1:34:30] | What are you talking about? | 你说什么 |
| [1:34:31] | Ladies and gentlemen… | 女士们 先生们 |
| [1:34:32] | We think he might be okay. | 我们认为他病好了 |
| [1:34:34] | …George Simmons! | 乔治・西门 |
| [1:34:47] | Thank you. | 谢谢你们 |
| [1:34:49] | Thank you. thank you. yeah. | 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [1:34:54] | It’s great to be here. | 能来这里真好 |
| [1:34:57] | It’s great. it’s great to be alive! | 真好 活着真好 |
| [1:35:02] | Yeah, man. thank you. right on. okay. | 谢谢你们 |
| [1:35:05] | Thank you for coming, George! | 乔治 多谢赏光 |
| [1:35:06] | Thank you. all right. | 谢谢 好的 |
| [1:35:07] | That’s very nice. man, oh, man. | 你们真好啊 伙计们 |
| [1:35:11] | Any other 40-year-olds out there tonight? in their 40s? | 今晚有其他40岁的人在场吗 40多岁 |
| [1:35:14] | It’s funny. in your 20s you’re like, | 很有意思 我们20多岁时的状态是 |
| [1:35:15] | “fuck you, man. fuck that shit.” | “操你的 伙计 操你个混蛋” |
| [1:35:18] | “fuck my parents. I don’t need none of that shit. “ | “操我老父老母 我才不想让他们管” |
| [1:35:20] | In your 30s you’re like, “fuck the president. | 30多岁时的状态是 “操他妈总统 |
| [1:35:22] | “fuck that guy, that fucking asshole. “ | “操他个混蛋 该死的衰人 “ |
| [1:35:24] | In your 40s you’re like, “I’m hungry. | 而40多岁的状态却是 “我饿了 |
| [1:35:28] | “what do we have in the fridge?” | “冰箱里有什么吃的吗” |
| [1:35:33] | So, yeah, I’m fucking famous and rich, and it’s crazy. | 然后 我他妈的既出名又有钱 还很疯狂 |
| [1:35:38] | It’s… you know why? ’cause I hate rich people. | 知道为什么吗 因为我恨有钱人 |
| [1:35:41] | Fucking I’m rich and I hate rich people. | 我他妈有钱又恨有钱人 |
| [1:35:42] | I hate everything I fucking do now. | 我恨自己做的每一件事 |
| [1:35:44] | I go to Hawaii, I’m like, | 只要去夏威夷 我就会想 |
| [1:35:46] | “You fucking snotty cocksucker, going to Hawaii. “ | “你个天杀的狗杂种居然去夏威夷” |
| [1:35:51] | Buy a new car, | 买辆新车后就会想 |
| [1:35:52] | “La-di-da, look who’s got a new car. “ | 附庸风雅的家伙 还搞了辆新车 |
| [1:35:55] | I thought about giving all my money, just giving it away, | 我考虑过把我所有的钱捐出去 |
| [1:35:59] | But then I was like, “What a rich-guy thing to do. | 但我又想 这可真是有钱人才干的事啊 |
| [1:36:04] | “Mr. Charitable. “ | 好一”慈善先生” |
| [1:36:07] | Well, why didn’t you tell me? I was just here. | 我就在这啊 为什么不告诉我 |
| [1:36:10] | Laura, if I told you, | 劳拉 如果我告诉你 |
| [1:36:11] | you might not have talked to me anymore, so I… | 你可能再也不理我了 所以我 |
| [1:36:12] | What are you talking about? that’s ridiculous. | 你在胡扯什么啊 太荒谬了 |
| [1:36:14] | I knew you forgave me because I was sick | 我知道你原谅我是因为我病了 |
| [1:36:16] | And there was no other way you would forgive me. | 否则你绝不会原谅我 |
| [1:36:18] | I know, but it’s different now. | 我知道 但现在不一样了 |
| [1:36:20] | We’ve been talking… what are you… no! | 我们已经言和了 你到底 不是这样 |
| [1:36:22] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [1:36:26] | The doctor said I’m good. I’m better for now. | 医生说我好了 目前为止我很好 |
| [1:36:28] | I don’t know what the hell’s gonna happen, | 虽然不知道以后会怎么样 |
| [1:36:29] | But for now the guy said I’m good. | 但现在他说我好了 |
| [1:36:34] | I’m so happy. | 我太高兴了 |
| [1:36:36] | You are happy? | 你很高兴吗 |
| [1:36:38] | God, thank you. thank you. | 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [1:36:51] | All right. yeah. | 好了 |
| [1:36:59] | You okay, man? | 你还好吗 |
| [1:37:00] | Yeah, yeah, I’m good. | 是是 我很好 |
| [1:37:03] | I hope they got some food. | 希望他们这里有吃的 |
| [1:37:09] | I’m so glad you guys came. hello. hi. | 很高兴你们来了 |
| [1:37:13] | – Good to see you. – wow. -hi. how’s it going? | -见到你真好 -最近怎么样 |
| [1:37:15] | Oh! thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [1:37:19] | Jeez. beautiful house! | 天啊 房子真漂亮 |
| [1:37:21] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [1:37:22] | How long have you guys been here? | 你们住这里多久了 |
| [1:37:24] | We’ve been here about five years now. | 已经住了5年了 |
| [1:37:28] | What’s up? | 怎么啦 |
| [1:37:29] | This is my friend, George. and this is Ira. | 这是我朋友乔治 这是埃拉 |
| [1:37:32] | This is Ingrid. | 这是茵格丽 |
| [1:37:33] | Wow! George didn’t mention you had a daughter. | 哇 乔治没说过你有个女儿 |
| [1:37:37] | Have you seen any of my movies? | 你看过我演的电影吗 |
| [1:37:38] | I saw the movie | 我看过那部 |
| [1:37:40] | where you had a baby body. | 你变成婴儿的的电影 |
| [1:37:41] | So, you saw re-do. | 你看过《从头再来》了呀 |
| [1:37:43] | can you do the face? | 会做那个鬼脸吗 |
| [1:37:53] | Hey, that’s a good impression. | 做的真像啊 |
| [1:37:55] | Don’t leave me in the playroom! | 别把我留在游戏室 |
| [1:37:56] | This is my daughter, Mable. | 这是我女儿 梅波尔 |
| [1:37:58] | she just got braces. | 她刚带上矫正器 |
| [1:37:59] | Oh, yeah? let me see them. | 真的吗 让我看看 |
| [1:38:01] | You mind if I eat a little bit of that sandwich right there? | 你不介意我吃点这里的三明治吧 |
| [1:38:06] | – Ira? – I’m… I’m full. | -埃拉 -我 我很饱 |
| [1:38:08] | Do you guys want to play the peanut-butter game? | 你们要玩花生酱游戏吗 |
| [1:38:10] | It’s fun. you want to play? | 很好玩的 你要玩吗 |
| [1:38:12] | – Let’s do it! – Ira? | -来玩吧 -埃拉 |
| [1:38:13] | Yeah, I like peanut butter, yeah. | 我喜欢花生酱 |
| [1:38:15] | Let’s do the peanut-butter game! | 我们玩花生酱游戏吧 |
| [1:38:16] | All right! hooray! | 太好了 万岁 |
| [1:38:17] | Peanut-butter game! peanut-butter game! | 花生酱游戏 花生酱游戏 |
| [1:38:20] | Okay, just put a little bit. | 好的 只放一点点 |
| [1:38:21] | – okay. – what’s she doing? | -好的 -她在干什么 |
| [1:38:23] | A little bit. | 一点点 |
| [1:38:25] | Okay, okay. I think that’s good. | 好的 好的 这样就好了 |
| [1:38:27] | This is what you guys do in your free time? okay. | 你们有空的时候就玩这个吗 |
| [1:38:30] | – there he is! – oh, boy. | -他来啦 -噢 小家伙 |
| [1:38:31] | Come on. | 来嘛 |
| [1:38:33] | He got her. he got her. | 他在舔她 在舔她 |
| [1:38:38] | Oh, so, you’re supposed to do it on the ears. | 你该把它放在耳朵上的 |
| [1:38:41] | George’s turn! yeah! George’s turn! | 该乔治了 该乔治了 |
| [1:38:43] | No. I don’t want to do that. | 不 我不想玩这个 |
| [1:38:44] | Yeah, George’s turn! | 噢 该乔治了 |
| [1:38:44] | No, Ira will go. let Ira go. | 不是 轮到埃拉了 让埃拉上 |
| [1:38:45] | No, no, George. | 不 不 该乔治了 |
| [1:38:47] | – Come on. – okay, all right! | -得了 -好吧 好吧 |
| [1:38:49] | I just washed my hair this morning. | 我早上刚洗的头发 |
| [1:38:51] | George! George! | 乔治 乔治 |
| [1:38:52] | George! George! | 乔治 乔治 |
| [1:38:55] | Oh, god! | 天哪 |
| [1:38:59] | No! | 不 |
| [1:39:00] | Just not the… | 别别别 |
| [1:39:01] | Look at this. | 看看这个 |
| [1:39:02] | That’s not the game! | 那可不是刚才的游戏 |
| [1:39:10] | And we have a pond with a buddha and… | 我们与一个佛陀共有一个水池 |
| [1:39:18] | Does that hurt? | 痛吗 |
| [1:39:20] | So, what, who is a good, you’re a good guy, you’re a bad guy? | 谁是好人 你是好人 你是坏人吗 |
| [1:39:44] | Now I go. | 该我走了 |
| [1:39:48] | And now I go. | 然后该我走 |
| [1:39:49] | You can’t move. you’re stuck. | 你走不了 你被卡住了 |
| [1:39:51] | Ira. | 埃拉 |
| [1:39:52] | Hey, Laura asked if we want to eat dinner here tonight. | 劳拉问我们愿不愿意在这里吃晚饭 |
| [1:39:56] | Oh. thank you. what… we… | 谢谢你 什么 我们 |
| [1:39:59] | It’s like an eight-hour drive back. | 回去要开八小时车呢 |
| [1:40:00] | We won’t get home till like 5:00 in the morning that way. | 那样明早5点前都到不了家了 |
| [1:40:03] | We’ll figure something out. | 到时再说吧 |
| [1:40:04] | So, we’re gonna go to the grocery store | 那我们去杂货店 |
| [1:40:06] | And get some food so I can cook. | 买点菜来做 |
| [1:40:08] | Home-cooked meal. perfect. | 家常菜 太好了 |
| [1:40:10] | Okay. so, you’re okay to watch the girls? | 那你来帮我看着孩子们 可以吗 |
| [1:40:12] | Yeah, definitely. I’m good with kids. | 当然 我很擅长和孩子玩 |
| [1:40:14] | I was a Jewish summer camp counselor for five years. | 我当了5年的犹太夏令营导员 |
| [1:40:18] | But I’m good with non-jewish kids, too. | 当然和非犹太小孩也很合得来 |
| [1:40:21] | Okay, so we’ll be right back. | 那好 我们很快就回来 |
| [1:40:22] | It’s around the corner. | 商店就在拐角附近 |
| [1:40:23] | Very good. | 很好 |
| [1:40:32] | Should I have worn my jogging shoes? where are we going? | 我该穿上跑鞋吗 这是去哪儿 |
| [1:40:47] | You sure? you sure you want to do this? | 你确定 你确定要这样做吗 |
| [1:40:50] | Wherever my husband is | 不管我丈夫在哪儿 |
| [1:40:51] | He’s probably doing the same thing. | 他估计也在做同样的事情 |
| [1:40:53] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [1:41:00] | Echo, echo, echo. | 有回声 回声 回声 |
| [1:41:07] | You know, when I broke up with you, | 知道吗 和你分手后 |
| [1:41:08] | I tried to find somebody who was the exact opposite of you. | 我一直想去找一个和你截然不同的人 |
| [1:41:15] | But Clarke is exactly like you. | 但是克拉克简直和你一模一样 |
| [1:41:19] | It’s like I’m programmed to find the same person, | 就像是命中注定的邂逅 遇到相似的人 |
| [1:41:23] | Like there’s some lesson I’m supposed to learn from it all. | 像是我逃不出去的宿命一般 |
| [1:41:28] | How many times did you cheat on me? | 你背叛了我几次? |
| [1:41:31] | I don’t want to paint a picture. | 我不想回忆那段往事 |
| [1:41:34] | I was young and stupid | 那时年少无知 |
| [1:41:36] | But I changed, I swear to god. | 但我现在已经改了 对天发誓 |
| [1:41:40] | How exactly have you changed? | 怎么改的 |
| [1:41:42] | I got a peek at something most people only get to see once. | 我看到了常人一生只能看到一次的东西 |
| [1:41:49] | You know, I went to a psychic who told me that… | 我去了一位灵媒那 她告诉我说 |
| [1:41:51] | That you and I would get back together when we were 70. | 我们70岁的时候会重新走到一起 |
| [1:41:56] | And she also said not to eat any chicken. | 她还说不要吃鸡肉 |
| [1:41:59] | Well, we couldn’t wait. | 我们可等不了那么久 |
| [1:42:02] | You loved me before anybody loved me. | 你是第一个爱我的人 |
| [1:42:05] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [1:42:12] | This is the only place that I ever wanted to be. | 这是我唯一想要的归宿 |
| [1:42:16] | When is George gonna die? | 乔治什么时候会死呢 |
| [1:42:19] | George is gonna die? | 乔治会死吗 |
| [1:42:23] | No. Why would you guys say that? | 不会 为什么这么说 |
| [1:42:25] | I heard my mom talking to her friend on the phone | 我听到妈妈哭着 |
| [1:42:26] | And she was crying. | 和她的一个朋友打电话 |
| [1:42:28] | I don’t want george to die. | 我不想要乔治死 |
| [1:42:30] | Why do you care? You just met him. | 你干吗这么关心 你才刚刚认识他 |
| [1:42:32] | Shut up. | 闭嘴 |
| [1:42:33] | – You shut up! – Okay, okay, guys, guys, guys. | -你闭嘴 -好好好 姑娘们 |
| [1:42:35] | George is not gonna die. | 乔治不会死的 |
| [1:42:37] | George, he was sick, but he went to the doctor | 乔治 他不舒服 但是他去看了医生 |
| [1:42:41] | And they gave him different types of medicine | 医生给了他很多不同的药 |
| [1:42:42] | Until they found one that worked. | 其中一种很奏效 |
| [1:42:44] | And now he’s gonna be just fine. | 所以他会好起来的 |
| [1:42:45] | He’s gonna live a really, really long time. | 他会活很长很长时间 |
| [1:42:48] | I think my mommy loves him. | 我觉得我妈妈爱他 |
| [1:42:51] | Well, you know, we all love him. | 嗯…我们都爱他 |
| [1:42:54] | He’s made a lot of great movies. | 他拍了很多很棒的电影 |
| [1:42:56] | I think she loves him, like, loves him. | 我觉得她爱他 是那种爱他 |
| [1:42:58] | Love. love, love, love. | 爱 爱 爱 爱 |
| [1:43:00] | Love, love, love they’re gonna have a baby | 爱 爱 爱 他们会生个小孩 |
| [1:43:04] | They’re gonna have a baby baby, marriage, love | 他们会生个小孩小孩 结婚 爱情 |
| [1:43:10] | They’re gonna have a little merman baby. | 他们会生个人鱼小孩 |
| [1:43:17] | You saved my acting reel? | 你收藏了我演出的带子 |
| [1:43:19] | I was wondering where this was. | 我还纳闷他们去哪了 |
| [1:43:21] | Why didn’t you give this to me? | 为什么不给我 |
| [1:43:23] | cause I was watching it. | 因为我一直在看 |
| [1:43:24] | You know | 知道吗 |
| [1:43:25] | I always get the feeling that you think I’m stupid or something. | 我总是感觉你认为我很蠢 |
| [1:43:27] | Look at my hair! I look like a leprechaun. | 看我那头发 像妖精一样 |
| [1:43:29] | No. | 不 |
| [1:43:30] | I am stupid. | 我是很蠢 |
| [1:43:32] | Ooh! Is my voice still that high? | 哦 我声音还那么高吗 |
| [1:43:34] | No! no, no, no, no. no, | 不不不… |
| [1:43:35] | But they need you back in munchkinville. | 不过人们一直想让你回孟克郡去 |
| [1:43:37] | They miss the mayor. | 他们怀念市长[讽刺声音很高] |
| [1:43:39] | Shut up! | 闭嘴 |
| [1:43:41] | That was the best time in my life. | 那是我最美好的时候 |
| [1:43:43] | I got something else for you. You might remember these. | 我还有东西给你 你应该还记得 |
| [1:43:47] | Please tell me you do! | 告诉我你想要 |
| [1:43:50] | Are these my favorite butt jeans? | 这不是我最爱的牛仔裤吗 |
| [1:43:51] | Yes. yes. yes. | 对对对 |
| [1:43:53] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [1:43:54] | Yeah, you can have them back. | 是 它重回你的怀抱了 |
| [1:43:55] | I’m so excited! yeah. | 太激动了 |
| [1:43:56] | Do you think they still fit me? | 你觉得它还合我身吗 |
| [1:43:58] | I guarantee it. | 我保证 |
| [1:43:59] | I’m so happy! | 我太高兴了 |
| [1:44:00] | I guarantee it. Get in those. | 我保证 穿上它 |
| [1:44:03] | These used to kill me. | 这家伙把我魂都勾走了 |
| [1:44:04] | Oh, my god, they’re so faded. | 天哪 褪色这么严重 |
| [1:44:05] | Oh, shit! | 该死 |
| [1:44:06] | They fit! | 很合身 |
| [1:44:08] | – They look good! – Really? | -看上去美极了 -真的吗 |
| [1:44:09] | Yeah, that’s the same ass! | 是啊 美臀依旧 |
| [1:44:11] | Fucking ass is perfect. Minus that camel coming out the back. | 太美了 除了后面那个商标 |
| [1:44:15] | Bump and groove it | 前顶 再后翘 |
| [1:44:17] | To the left now to the right, y’all | 向左 再向右 |
| [1:44:20] | Slap that shit! | 拍拍屁股 |
| [1:44:23] | Look at that! they’re like mom jeans. | 你看啊 像老妈牛仔裤一样 |
| [1:44:26] | Oh, yes. if mom needed to get banged again. | 是啊 如果老妈想再重温激情的话 |
| [1:44:29] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [1:44:30] | Yeah, get over here. | 过来 |
| [1:44:36] | Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. | 别离开我 别离开我 |
| [1:44:44] | Oh! hey, guys, what took you so long? | 嘿 伙计们 怎么花了这么长时间 |
| [1:44:47] | We were checking out the town, man. beautiful! | 我们游览了一下城镇风光 伙计 太漂亮了 |
| [1:44:49] | Where are the groceries? | 吃的买到哪去了 |
| [1:44:50] | We decided that eating in might be more fun. | 我们改变主意了 叫外卖更好玩 |
| [1:44:54] | Oh, no, you didn’t. | 哦 你该不会是 |
| [1:44:56] | How could you do that, man? No | 你怎么能这么做 |
| [1:44:58] | I didn’t do anything, Ira. | 我什么也没做 埃拉 |
| [1:45:00] | No, I know you did it. I know you did. | 不 我知道你做了 你肯定做了 |
| [1:45:02] | All that’s missing is your popsicle. come on. | 就差手上拿支冰棍了 拜托 |
| [1:45:05] | Ira, are you cranky right now? | 埃拉 你现在是不是饿得慌 |
| [1:45:07] | Do you need food in your belly? | 想吃点东西吗 |
| [1:45:08] | No | 不 |
| [1:45:09] | Come on, we’re gonna order in a pizza. | 来 我们订个匹萨 |
| [1:45:11] | Of course, Mr. Peters. | 当然 皮特先生 |
| [1:45:14] | I’ll be at the… | 我会去 |
| [1:45:17] | Lunch meeting. | 午宴的 |
| [1:45:19] | You’re serving seafood? | 你们有准备海鲜吗 |
| [1:45:24] | I love seafood! | 我爱海鲜 |
| [1:45:27] | Okay, see you there! | 到时见 |
| [1:45:30] | Pizza’s here! Yeah. | 匹萨来了 |
| [1:45:32] | – I’ll be right back. – yes. | -我很快就回来 -好的 |
| [1:45:34] | I’m the pizza monster! | 我是匹萨终结者 |
| [1:45:39] | Hi, honey! | 嗨 亲爱的 |
| [1:45:41] | – Clarke. – Hi, sweetie. | -克拉克 -嗨 亲爱的 |
| [1:45:43] | Hi. What are you doing here? | 嗨 你怎么回来了 |
| [1:45:45] | Decided to surprise you. | 给你一个惊喜 |
| [1:45:47] | The guy I was meant to have the meeting with | 开欢迎会的时候 |
| [1:45:48] | Had a heart attack | 要跟我开会的那个人 |
| [1:45:50] | While I was waiting in reception for him. | 突发心脏病 |
| [1:45:51] | It was unbelievable. | 难以置信 |
| [1:45:53] | Next minute, this chinese George Clooney guy | 然后 这个中国乔治・克鲁尼先生 |
| [1:45:54] | Comes running past with, like, the… | 跑过来拿着那个 |
| [1:45:56] | What’s it called? a defibrillator? | 叫什么来着 除颤器吗 |
| [1:45:58] | Starts zapping him. Right. Yeah, I’ve seen it. | 电他 我亲眼所见 |
| [1:45:59] | It was like an episode of ER, but with chinamen. | 就像是中国版的急诊室故事一样 |
| [1:46:02] | I missed you. | 我想你 |
| [1:46:09] | I know you. | 我知道你 |
| [1:46:10] | Yes. | 好 |
| [1:46:12] | How you doing? | 近来如何 |
| [1:46:14] | This is George Simmons. | 这是乔治・西蒙斯 |
| [1:46:16] | He had a big comedy concert last night. | 他昨晚举办了一场喜剧音乐会 |
| [1:46:17] | Oh, okay. | 哦 挺好的 |
| [1:46:18] | And so, I asked him to pop by and come visit. | 所以 我邀请他来家做客 |
| [1:46:22] | Hope that’s good. i… | 希望没有冒犯… |
| [1:46:24] | I love the stand-up comedy. | 我喜欢单口喜剧 |
| [1:46:26] | How’d it go? | 反响怎么样 |
| [1:46:28] | They didn’t… | 这次意外的他们没有 |
| [1:46:31] | They didn’t boo me off the stage, so that was a plus. | 把我嘘下场 |
| [1:46:32] | Yeah, they’re a bunch of bloody cheese eaters up here. | 是啊 他们就是一群捣蛋鬼 |
| [1:46:35] | Yeah. no, they were very nice. yeah. | 不 他们都挺友善的 |
| [1:46:37] | You have a… you have a very nice family, man, | 你有个幸福的家庭 |
| [1:46:40] | And a great, great home. | 漂亮的房子 |
| [1:46:41] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [1:46:43] | Well, it’s good to have you home. | 很高兴你回家了 |
| [1:46:44] | The kids are dying to see you if… | 孩子们都很想见你… |
| [1:46:46] | Ira’s hungry for… | 埃拉饿了… |
| [1:46:49] | G’day. Clarke. | 你好 我是克拉克 |
| [1:46:50] | Good day, I’m Ira. | 你好 我是埃拉 |
| [1:46:52] | – Your husband’s here. – yeah. yep. | -你老公回来了 -对 |
| [1:46:53] | Ira is George’s opening act. He’s really funny. | 埃拉是乔治的热场助手 他很幽默 |
| [1:46:57] | Really? he looks funny! | 真的吗 他长得就很幽默 |
| [1:47:00] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [1:47:01] | How’d you go last night? | 你昨晚表现怎样 |
| [1:47:02] | You know, they didn’t boo me off or anything, so… | 他们没有把我嘘下场… |
| [1:47:05] | I just said that one. | 我已经这样说过了 |
| [1:47:06] | It was great. yeah. | 昨晚很棒 |
| [1:47:08] | They just popped by | 他们只是来玩一下 |
| [1:47:09] | I gave them a tour of the house. | 我带他们参观了一下房子 |
| [1:47:11] | We were gonna have dinner, but it’s not… | 我们正准备吃晚餐 但… |
| [1:47:12] | It’s probably better that we do family dinner | 还是一起来个家庭聚餐吧 |
| [1:47:15] | Since you’re only in town a few days. | 鉴于你只在这呆几天 |
| [1:47:16] | No no no, stay. That’s a great idea. | 别别别 住下来吧 很棒的主意 |
| [1:47:17] | The more the merrier. | 越久越好 |
| [1:47:18] | Okay. Let’s do that. | 那好 就这样定了 |
| [1:47:20] | – Thank you. – Great. | -谢谢 -太好了 |
| [1:47:21] | I’m gonna go say hi to the kids. | 我得和孩子们打个招呼 |
| [1:47:22] | Okay. okay. | 好的 |
| [1:47:24] | That’s hilarious. | 真是太有趣了 |
| [1:47:26] | You can’t tell him that you’re better, okay? | 你不能告诉他你好了 知道吗 |
| [1:47:28] | He’ll know that something happened between us. | 不然他会发现我们之间有隐情的 |
| [1:47:30] | I won’t. | 我不会的 |
| [1:47:31] | ’cause I’ve been married for 12 years now and I have kids. | 因为我已经结婚12年了而且有孩子 |
| [1:47:34] | And I can’t just throw it away this second, okay? | 不能说放手就放手 知道吗 |
| [1:47:36] | Hey, we’ll be fine. I’m a good actor. you’re a great actress. | 嘿 不会有事的 我们都是好演员 |
| [1:47:41] | Right. | 对 |
| [1:47:41] | He hated you until he found out that you were sick. | 直到知道你得病之后他才不那么恨你 |
| [1:47:44] | And if he knows that you were here | 如果他知道你好转了 |
| [1:47:46] | And that you’re feeling better, | 还在这里的话 |
| [1:47:47] | He’s gonna know. | 他会发现的 |
| [1:47:48] | So, don’t say anything. | 所以 什么都别说 |
| [1:47:49] | Okay, yeah, yeah. | 好的 |
| [1:47:50] | Of course. sure. I’ll do that. | 当然 我不会说的 |
| [1:47:53] | People never thought | 大家都没想到 |
| [1:47:54] | China would do that much business with the us, | 中国会和美国做这么多的生意 |
| [1:47:55] | But I never saw it as a big deal. You look at it like this. | 但我觉得这没什么大不了的 这样想想 |
| [1:47:58] | You’ve got a billion people. | 他们有十几亿的人口 |
| [1:47:59] | We make all kinds of cool shit. | 我们生产这么多靓货 |
| [1:48:01] | They find out about the cool shit on the internet and stuff. | 然后他们从网上知道这些靓货 |
| [1:48:03] | And they’re gonna want the cool shit. | 于是便想要这些靓货 |
| [1:48:04] | Cool shit’s universal. | 靓货靓遍全宇宙 |
| [1:48:06] | China’s been good, but I’m trying to get north Korea. | 中国还挺不错的 但我正在努力进军朝鲜 |
| [1:48:08] | That’s the next… that’s, like, the next frontier. | 这是我的 算是下一个标的 |
| [1:48:10] | – North Korea? – North Korea. | -朝鲜吗 -对朝鲜 |
| [1:48:12] | Those people would blow you for a wii fit. | 只引进任天堂他们都会感激涕零了 |
| [1:48:14] | There you go. | 说的好 |
| [1:48:16] | This is really good pizza. | 匹萨真的挺好的 |
| [1:48:17] | You know, they say, like, New York has the best pizza | 他们说 纽约的匹萨最好吃 |
| [1:48:19] | And I always thought pizza in LA was only okay | 我之前觉得洛杉矶的匹萨也还不错 |
| [1:48:21] | But who would have thought, you know, | 但谁会料到 |
| [1:48:22] | Marin county is where | 马林郡的匹萨 |
| [1:48:24] | They were really hiding the good pizza pies | 才是最好吃的 |
| [1:48:33] | Clarke speaks fluent Chinese. | 克拉克的中文很流利 |
| [1:48:35] | Really? Do you speak Cantonese or Mandarin? | 真的吗 是说粤语还是普通话 |
| [1:48:38] | Oh, well played, Ira. Mandarin. | 哦 问得好 埃拉 普通话 |
| [1:48:40] | Well gayed, Ira. | 满足了 埃拉 |
| [1:48:42] | It’s a bloody hard language, though, george. jesus. | 一种很难的语言 乔治 天哪 |
| [1:49:02] | That was like a scene from deer hunter. | 这看起来像猎鹿人里面的场景 |
| [1:49:07] | Girls, you can go and watch tv. | 孩子们 你们去看电视吧 |
| [1:49:10] | Go on. Whatever you want to watch. | 去吧 想看什么就看什么 |
| [1:49:14] | So, George, how’s the fight going, mate? | 那么 乔治 病情怎样了 |
| [1:49:17] | How is it? | 怎么样 |
| [1:49:18] | Clarke. | 克拉克 |
| [1:49:19] | This is not something that he wants to talk about right now. | 他现在不想说这个 |
| [1:49:23] | He has to think about it every day of his life. | 病痛每时每刻都困扰着他 |
| [1:49:26] | And he’s taking a break from it right now. | 而他正在试着解脱 |
| [1:49:29] | It’s such a shame that somebody who has brought so much joy | 让一个带给我们这么多欢乐的人 |
| [1:49:36] | To so many people has to go through this. | 来经历这一切真是太不公平了 |
| [1:49:39] | Shit. shit. | 该死 该死 |
| [1:49:42] | I’m sorry, mate. | 对不起 伙计 |
| [1:49:44] | Laura. Laura. we don’t need to speak in code. | 劳拉 我们不用说得这么晦涩 |
| [1:49:48] | I’m sick. I think about it all the time. | 我病了 我每天都在担忧这个 |
| [1:49:50] | Mate, I don’t know how you do it. | 伙计 我真的不知道是怎么做到的 |
| [1:49:51] | I would be crying in my panties if I was you. | 换是我的话估计都哭到歇斯底里了 |
| [1:49:54] | I worship guys like you, that attitude. | 我崇拜像你这样的人 这种态度 |
| [1:49:56] | Have you considered eastern medicine? | 你有没有试过草药 |
| [1:49:58] | Well, I don’t know if this is considered eastern medicine | 恩 我不知道这是不是中药 |
| [1:50:00] | But I’ve been eating a lot of rhino cock. | 但我吃了很多的犀牛鞭 |
| [1:50:03] | If Clarke thinks it’s the right thing to do | 如果你觉得这有用的话 |
| [1:50:04] | Let me chew some. | 那我就再多吃一点 |
| [1:50:07] | For the last time, stop calling me rhino. | 最后一次警告 不要叫我犀牛了 |
| [1:50:12] | George Simmons in my house! | 乔治・西蒙斯在我的家里 |
| [1:50:14] | Clarke took an herb once | 克拉克曾经吃过草药 |
| [1:50:15] | And he had heart palpitations and diarrhea. | 他那时候有些心悸腹泻 |
| [1:50:18] | No, it’s true. I shit myself, mate | 这是真的 我大便失禁了 |
| [1:50:19] | And I had a boner at the same time. | 而且老二还是勃起的 |
| [1:50:23] | I want to take an herb that makes me as good-looking as you. | 我想吃些让我变得和你一样帅气的草药 |
| [1:50:26] | Jesus christ! | 老天爷 |
| [1:50:27] | If I were you I’d be at home all day fucking myself. | 如果我是你 我整天都得干自己 |
| [1:50:30] | That’s what I do! | 我就是那样做的 |
| [1:50:33] | All right! All right! We’re cooking. | 好啦好啦 我们在吃饭呢 |
| [1:50:35] | He’s really funny. | 他真幽默 |
| [1:50:37] | I don’t know why his movies aren’t funny, though. | 但为什么他的电影一点都不好笑呢 |
| [1:50:39] | That’s weird, isn’t it? | 很怪 不是吗 |
| [1:50:40] | He should put some of that on the silver screen. | 他应该在银幕上多表演些这样的 |
| [1:50:42] | So, just one drink, okay? | 那么 就一杯 好吗 |
| [1:50:43] | This isn’t someone I want to spend a lot of time with. | 我不想和他这样长时间耗下去 |
| [1:50:46] | This? This is the Australian me? | 他吗 澳大利亚版的我 |
| [1:50:48] | I’m so much better than this fucking idiot. | 我比这个蠢蛋强多了 |
| [1:50:50] | He seems like the nicest guy, ever. | 他看上去挺棒的 |
| [1:50:51] | He’s trying to cure you with herbs for god’s sakes. | 他还劝你用草药治病 |
| [1:50:53] | I can’t leave her alone here. I have to save her. | 我不能这样丢下她 我得救她 |
| [1:50:55] | Save her from her beautiful house and lovely husband | 把她从漂亮的房子和可爱的老公 |
| [1:50:57] | And delightful kids? | 还有可人的孩子那抢过来吗 |
| [1:50:58] | Her husband’s a skipping, cheating psycho. | 她丈夫是个瞒着她劈腿的神经病 |
| [1:51:00] | You said nothing was going on between you two. | 你说你们两个没发生什么 |
| [1:51:02] | The dog could tell that you banged her. | 连狗都知道你搞过她了 |
| [1:51:04] | And I’m getting nauseous and sweaty. I can’t… | 我现在觉得心悸恶心 我不能 |
| [1:51:05] | Get away from me! get away from me! go play with the kids. | 从我面前消失 和孩子们玩去 |
| [1:51:10] | Tim, are you asking me out on a date? | 蒂姆 你是约我出去吗 |
| [1:51:13] | Would you like it to be a date? | 你想这是个约会吗 |
| [1:51:15] | Hey, bro, so your doctor called | 嘿 兄弟 你医生打电话说 |
| [1:51:17] | And he said it is contagious | 这是传染的 |
| [1:51:17] | But only when inflamed, so you’re cool. | 只有发炎之后 你才会冷静下来 |
| [1:51:21] | Also, I was trying to do the laundry, | 还有 我想把衣服洗了 |
| [1:51:23] | But I think I need to get some industrial-strength detergent. | 但我觉得你应该买些功效超强的洗涤剂 |
| [1:51:25] | What’s up with all the skid marks, Dale Earnhardt, Jr.? | 你内裤上黄色的东西是什么 年轻人 |
| [1:51:27] | Wow, I think I have a class. | 我要上课了 |
| [1:51:30] | You guys like this show? | 你们喜欢这部剧吗 |
| [1:51:32] | No! | 不喜欢 |
| [1:51:33] | It’s the worst show, ever. | 这是我看过最烂的剧 |
| [1:51:35] | Good. | 没错 |
| [1:51:37] | Here you go. We’re finished with the French shit. | 给你 喝够了法国劣质品 |
| [1:51:39] | We’re into Espanola! | 来尝尝西班牙口味的 |
| [1:51:41] | All right. | 好的 |
| [1:51:43] | China, man. | 在中国 老兄 |
| [1:51:45] | And you guys never see each other, huh? That must be rough. | 你们见不到对方 日子一定很难过 |
| [1:51:48] | Right? Rough on the kids. | 对吧 特别是对于孩子们 |
| [1:51:49] | It’s not ideal, but the kids like to eat, so… | 虽然不算理想 但孩子们很贪吃 所以 |
| [1:51:54] | You ever see this girl act before? She was quite the actress. | 你有看过你妻子演戏吗 她演的很棒 |
| [1:51:57] | Well, she’s very good at pretending she still loves me, | 是呀 她很擅长装作她还爱我 |
| [1:51:59] | So she’s pretty good then, isn’t she? | 演的真好 是吧 |
| [1:52:00] | Yeah. I am. | 对 确实 |
| [1:52:03] | Can’t say I watched much of that Melrose Place stuff, though. | 虽然我没看过多少飞越情海 |
| [1:52:06] | Although I did see the Party of Five episode you were in. | 但我看过你演的几集五口之家 |
| [1:52:08] | It wasn’t really for me, you know. | 不是很合我的口味 |
| [1:52:10] | Well, it was down to me and Cameron Diaz | 跟变相怪杰的主演比起来 |
| [1:52:13] | For the lead part in The Mask. | 我和卡梅隆・迪亚兹都很烂 |
| [1:52:15] | Cameron Diaz! That’s my girl. | 卡梅隆・迪亚兹 我的女神 |
| [1:52:17] | She’s a bloody top actress, isn’t she? | 她是当红花旦 对吧 |
| [1:52:20] | Hey, what was that film she was in | 她头发上沾着精液的 |
| [1:52:21] | With the bloody spuff in her hair? | 那部电影叫什么 |
| [1:52:22] | Something about Mary! | 《我为玛丽狂》 |
| [1:52:25] | I love that movie! She’s so funny! | 我爱那部电影 她演的超棒 |
| [1:52:28] | Just about shit my panties in that one. | 笑得我差点尿裤子 |
| [1:52:30] | No, no, no, there’s not too many girls | 这种女演员不多见 |
| [1:52:31] | That are this beautiful and sexy and funny and… | 既漂亮 又性感 还很幽默 |
| [1:52:35] | She had the whole deal. | 但她都兼备了 |
| [1:52:36] | Yes, but Cameron Diaz, fuck! I mean, come on. | 是呀 卡梅隆・迪亚兹就是这样 是吧 |
| [1:52:43] | See, if you had’ve done that movie, | 要是你去拍了那部电影 |
| [1:52:44] | You could have had the bloody spuff in your hair. | 你头发上就也有精液了 |
| [1:52:45] | Look out. | 小心言辞 |
| [1:52:46] | What are you giving me the evil eyes for? | 你这么瞪着我干吗 |
| [1:52:48] | You’re such a dick sometimes. | 有时候你真混蛋 |
| [1:52:49] | I’m not… Why? | 我没有 为什么 |
| [1:52:50] | Because. | 因为 |
| [1:52:51] | I’m just saying you had your crack, you had your goal at it. | 我只是说你有你的风格但固执不前 |
| [1:52:54] | I feel like I didn’t reach my potential that… | 我觉得我还有潜力 |
| [1:52:56] | Oh, please! | 行了吧 |
| [1:52:57] | Oh, please, what? | 什么行了吧 |
| [1:52:58] | I didn’t reach my potential, either! | 我也还有潜力 |
| [1:53:00] | I could have been playing footie! | 我本来能踢澳足的 |
| [1:53:01] | You weren’t that good | 你踢球根本 |
| [1:53:02] | – At playing footie. – I was. | -没那么厉害 -厉害的 |
| [1:53:03] | You weren’t. | 不厉害 |
| [1:53:05] | You should thank me, George. | 你该感谢我 乔治 |
| [1:53:06] | I took a bullet here for you. | 帮你挡下了这个祸害 |
| [1:53:09] | All right, on that note, I’m gonna head back to Los Angeles. | 好了 是时间了 我该回洛杉矶了 |
| [1:53:12] | No, come on, stay. | 别走啊 多留几天 |
| [1:53:13] | No, it’s fine. I’ll split. | 不了 我要走了 |
| [1:53:14] | – It’s early. – I’ve been here too long. | -现在还早 -我在这耽搁很久了 |
| [1:53:15] | – Schmira! – We just started a bottle. | -史麦拉 -这才喝第一瓶 |
| [1:53:17] | Nah, nah, nah. You guys have been the best. Schmira! | 别别 你已经待我够好了 史麦拉 |
| [1:53:19] | Thank you so much for having us, guys. | 非常感谢你们的款待 |
| [1:53:22] | – Shoot. – Uh-oh! Look out. | -倒霉 -当心 |
| [1:53:24] | God, I’m sorry, guys. | 天哪 真对不起 伙计 |
| [1:53:25] | Someone’s had too much to drink. | 看来有人喝多了 |
| [1:53:26] | Man, no. No, I just kicked your pot by accident, that’s all. I… | 不 老兄 我只是不小心踢倒了酒瓶 |
| [1:53:29] | Hold it together there, Schmira. I’m just a… | 把碎片拨到一块儿去 史麦拉 |
| [1:53:31] | – Oh, god. – It’s okay. | -天哪 -没关系的 |
| [1:53:32] | You’re staying here. You’re not driving. | 住在这里吧 你不能开车 |
| [1:53:34] | No way. We got a guest house, two spare beds. Done. | 绝对不能开 我们有间客房 两张空床 |
| [1:53:36] | – You two, plenty of room to stay. – No, no. Ira can drive. | -你们两人住没问题 -不了 埃拉能开车 |
| [1:53:38] | He… You’re fine to drive, right, Ira? | 他 你能开车吧 埃拉 |
| [1:53:40] | – I am. I just kicked your begonias, that’s all. – No way! | -我踢翻了酒瓶而已 -没门 |
| [1:53:42] | I’m not having America’s favorite funnyman | 我不会让全美滑稽人物 |
| [1:53:43] | Dead on the side of the road | 就因为史麦拉酒后驾车 |
| [1:53:45] | ‘Cause Schmira here’s had too much to drink. | 而曝尸路旁的 |
| [1:53:46] | George, you can drive, right? | 乔治 你能开车吧 |
| [1:53:48] | Bullshit! You’re staying here. | 狗屁 你们都得留下 |
| [1:53:50] | Plus, there’s a game of Aussie-rules footie on the dish tonight. | 另外 今晚还有澳式足球赛 |
| [1:53:53] | Semi-final. Saints versus Maggies. | 半决赛 圣士对抗马基 |
| [1:53:55] | Not that American shit. I want you to see it. | 不是美式垃圾足球 看看吧 |
| [1:53:57] | One condition. You Aussie pussies got any beer around here? | 有个条件 你们澳洲小子看球时有酒喝吗 |
| [1:54:00] | Yes, it’s on… | 有 准备好了 |
| [1:54:03] | Yes! | 帅气 |
| [1:54:05] | Yeah, it doesn’t matter if you’re a small fucker or a big fucker, | 不论你是大混蛋还是小混蛋 |
| [1:54:07] | You can play this game | 都能参加这种球赛 |
| [1:54:08] | Because the small fuckers go in barreling | 因为小混蛋跑的快 |
| [1:54:09] | And they can get the ball over and the boys are scrambling. | 还能从一团乱麻里把球捞出来 |
| [1:54:11] | Now watch. The little fuckers down there go. | 看这里 小混蛋开始跑动 |
| [1:54:13] | There they are. Big fuckers smack them. | 到这里 大混蛋撞他们 |
| [1:54:15] | Little fucker. Little fucker. Off to a big fucker. | 小混蛋 小混蛋 传给大混蛋 |
| [1:54:17] | Now he’s gonna go down to another big fucker. | 他又传给另一个大混蛋 |
| [1:54:19] | I hate that big fucker. | 我讨厌那个大混蛋 |
| [1:54:21] | Where are the black guys? | 黑人在哪里 |
| [1:54:22] | This is… There’s a couple out there. | 外围有两个黑人 |
| [1:54:24] | – I hate this team. – Oh, yeah? | -我讨厌这个队 -是吗 |
| [1:54:25] | Magpies. Hate the Maggies! | 马基 恨死马基了 |
| [1:54:27] | They’re like… I don’t know what the equivalent in the NFL… | 就像是 我不知道美式足球的规定 |
| [1:54:31] | No helmets. No fucking helmets ’cause they’re real men. See? | 不带头盔 把头盔丢掉才是男子汉 |
| [1:54:35] | Love you. Just explaining the game to them. They’re loving it! | 我爱你 我在给他们做解说 他们很爱看 |
| [1:54:47] | Yeah, we gotta get going, you know. | 好了 我们要走了 |
| [1:54:48] | Are you sure you can’t stay? | 真的不多留几天吗 |
| [1:54:50] | We can’t stay. We can’t stay. | 不了 不打扰了 |
| [1:54:52] | Yeah, it’s my… It’s my grandmother’s 85th birthday. | 是呀 我奶奶的85岁大寿要到了 |
| [1:54:55] | We got family coming in from all over. | 所有亲戚都要从四面八方赶回去 |
| [1:54:57] | She just had a stroke. In her leg. | 她中风了 腿脚不能动 |
| [1:55:00] | So, you know, we gotta get back. | 所以 我们要赶回去 |
| [1:55:01] | Yeah. | 是呀 |
| [1:55:02] | That’s too bad you guys can’t stay. | 那真是太遗憾了 |
| [1:55:04] | It is too bad. | 是很遗憾 |
| [1:55:06] | Well, I wish I could say I was gonna see you again, George, | 但愿还能再见到你 乔治 |
| [1:55:08] | But I can’t really say that, can I? | 但也不好说 是吧 |
| [1:55:10] | Yeah, yeah, I guess you can’t. | 对 对 说不准 |
| [1:55:12] | You don’t have to do that, honey. | 亲爱的 不用勉强自己 |
| [1:55:13] | No, I do have to do this, honey. I do. | 不 亲爱的 我要说 |
| [1:55:16] | You know what, mate? | 知道吗 老兄 |
| [1:55:17] | If there’s one thing I’ve learned | 我从中国的 |
| [1:55:18] | From my Buddhist friends, the Chinese, | 佛教徒朋友那学到一点 |
| [1:55:21] | Is to keep an open heart and to speak the truth. | 就是心胸放宽 说真心话 |
| [1:55:24] | So, what I want to say to you, George, is thank you. | 所以 乔治 我想对你说 谢谢 |
| [1:55:29] | Thank you for playing such a big role in my wife’s life. | 谢谢你曾是我妻子生命中至关重要的人 |
| [1:55:35] | It’s been great getting to know you. | 很荣幸能认识你 |
| [1:55:37] | And I wish you a peaceful journey | 祝你一路走好 |
| [1:55:39] | From here on in and over to the other side. | 不管是在此地还是天堂 |
| [1:55:42] | Come here, mate. | 过来 老兄 |
| [1:55:43] | Okay, we’re gonna do this. | 好的 我们会平安的 |
| [1:55:47] | Thank you. Thank you for everything. | 谢谢 谢谢你所做的一切 |
| [1:55:49] | All right. | 好了 |
| [1:55:50] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [1:55:51] | All right, I appreciate your having us. | 感谢你的盛情招待 |
| [1:55:54] | Don’t worry, daddy. He’s not sick anymore. | 别担心 爸爸 他的病好了 |
| [1:55:57] | Ira told us. | 埃拉告诉我们了 |
| [1:55:58] | I didn’t say that. | 我可没说 |
| [1:55:59] | – Yes, you did. – Yeah, you did. | -你说过 -你说过 |
| [1:56:01] | – When we were coloring. – No. | -在我们画画的时候 -不是 |
| [1:56:03] | – Yeah. – Yeah. | -是 -就是 |
| [1:56:04] | That’s not true, girls. | 孩子 那不是真的 |
| [1:56:05] | I did not say that. | 我没那么说 |
| [1:56:06] | I don’t know what they’re talking about. | 我不知道她们在说什么 |
| [1:56:08] | Liar. | 骗子 |
| [1:56:09] | Liar, liar, pants on fire. | 骗子 骗子 火烧裤子 |
| [1:56:11] | They were freaking out. They were worried about George. | 她们很害怕 很担心乔治 |
| [1:56:13] | I just said it so they wouldn’t be scared. It was just… | 我只是在安慰她们 只是… |
| [1:56:16] | Kids, go inside. | 孩子们 到里面去 |
| [1:56:17] | – Can we watch Borat? – Yeah, you can. | -能看《芭乐特》吗 -可以 |
| [1:56:19] | I don’t wanna watch Borat. | 我不想看芭乐特 |
| [1:56:21] | See you guys. | 一会见 |
| [1:56:23] | What is going on around here? Is that true? | 怎么回事 那是真的吗 |
| [1:56:26] | I never said that he was feeling better. | 我从没说过他恢复了 |
| [1:56:29] | He just took some medicine and it’s looking good for him | 他只是吃了一些药 然后貌似管用了 |
| [1:56:31] | Because they can’t detect it in his blood, | 因为血液异常消失了 |
| [1:56:33] | But that doesn’t mean that he’s better. | 但这不代表他恢复了 |
| [1:56:35] | These things are very tricky | 这种事很棘手 |
| [1:56:37] | And he didn’t want to tell anybody | 他不想告诉别人 |
| [1:56:39] | Because he didn’t want to jinx it! | 因为他不想触霉头 |
| [1:56:40] | Is that true that you didn’t want to jinx it? | 真的是你不想触霉头吗 |
| [1:56:42] | Yeah. No, no, no, I… Yeah, I’m very superstitious. | 对 我很迷信的 |
| [1:56:45] | You’re a terrible liar. | 你这个大骗子 |
| [1:56:47] | No, nothing’s going on around here! | 不 什么都没发生 |
| [1:56:52] | It’s completely innocent. | 绝对清白 |
| [1:56:54] | – I left me ring… – What accent is that? | -我把戒指 -这是什么口音 |
| [1:56:56] | – …on the side table. – Jamaican? | -就放在桌旁 -牙买加吗 |
| [1:56:58] | Don’t mock me. I don’t appreciate it. | 别蒙混过关了 我不吃这套 |
| [1:57:01] | Lots of people go to massage parlors. | 很多人去按摩馆 |
| [1:57:03] | That doesn’t mean I was getting a rub-and-tug. | 这不能说明我也去了 |
| [1:57:06] | Those hairs on me jacket must’ve fallen off the waiter’s pussy. | 夹克上那几根阴毛一定是服务员掉的 |
| [1:57:11] | What the hell has gotten into you? | 你发什么神经 |
| [1:57:13] | I was at a footie game! | 在玩真心话和大冒险 |
| [1:57:15] | Are you taking the piss out of me? | 你还要耍我吗 |
| [1:57:17] | I would never lie to you, mate. Oi? | 我绝不会骗你的 亲爱的 |
| [1:57:23] | I’m not playing this game with you. | 我可没和你说笑 |
| [1:57:24] | This is stupid. What a stupid game! | 太蠢了 白痴游戏 |
| [1:57:27] | Clarke, let’s tell each other the truth. | 克拉克 那我们就说实话吧 |
| [1:57:31] | Just come clean with me. | 来跟我说明白 |
| [1:57:32] | There’s nothing to tell. | 没什么可说的 |
| [1:57:33] | There’s nothing to tell? | 没有可说的吗 |
| [1:57:34] | There’s nothing to tell. | 没有可说的 |
| [1:57:36] | You will never tell me the truth. That is a pussy move! | 你不会说实话是吧 你去嫖娼了 |
| [1:57:39] | You know what? I’m not doing this. | 我跟你说 我没做过 |
| [1:57:41] | I’m not being put on a cross for something I didn’t even do! | 我绝不会承认那些我没做过的事 |
| [1:57:44] | Enjoy each other! | 跟他鬼混去吧 |
| [1:57:45] | Go fuck your whores! | 操你的妓女去吧 |
| [1:57:47] | “Go fuck your whores”? | “干你的妓女去” |
| [1:57:58] | So, it’s good that he left, and this is a huge relief for me. | 很好 他走了 真是让我解脱了 |
| [1:58:02] | I’m sorry. I’m sorry. | 抱歉 很抱歉 |
| [1:58:04] | I don’t need to be in a marriage that is like that, so I’m fine. | 我不需要这样的婚姻 我现在很好 |
| [1:58:09] | I’m not worried about that. I just want you to be okay. | 我没担心那个 我只想确定你没事 |
| [1:58:12] | I would be scared if I was you right now. | 该害怕的应该是你吧 |
| [1:58:13] | Are you kidding me? | 你开玩笑吗 |
| [1:58:15] | This is what needed to happen. | 这是注定的 |
| [1:58:16] | I would run away. | 我会离开这里 |
| [1:58:17] | No, I’m staying here. | 不 有我在这里 |
| [1:58:18] | Are you gonna run away? | 你会离开吗 |
| [1:58:19] | Where am I running to? Only if you come with me. | 离开这里要我去哪 除非我们私奔 |
| [1:58:22] | I really need you around right now. | 我现在真的很需要你在身边 |
| [1:58:25] | Yeah. Yeah. | 好 好 |
| [1:58:26] | Can you stay till Monday? | 星期一之前不要走好吗 |
| [1:58:27] | Absolutely. | 当然可以 |
| [1:58:29] | Can’t we just go and, like, come back later, you know? | 难道就不能先离开 过段时间再来 |
| [1:58:31] | I mean, if this is meant to be, it’ll be. | 两情若是久长时 又岂在朝朝暮暮 |
| [1:58:33] | We don’t have to be here right this second. | 我们不用一直待在这里 |
| [1:58:35] | Can’t we just go? | 我们走吧 |
| [1:58:36] | Man, I don’t… I see… | 老兄 我不走 我明白 |
| [1:58:38] | Jesus Christ | 老天 |
| [1:58:38] | Every instinct in my body is telling me to leave here, too. | 本能也告诉我现在应该走 |
| [1:58:41] | Good. | 很好 |
| [1:58:42] | But that’s what led me to this shitty life. | 但就是这种怯弱让我过成现在这样 |
| [1:58:44] | I gotta stay here. I gotta do the right thing. I love her. | 我要留下来 做该做的事 我爱她 |
| [1:58:48] | Right now, her husband is gonna come back and murder us, man! | 老兄 马上她丈夫会回来杀了我们 |
| [1:58:53] | Did you see his arms? They look like legs! | 你看到他的胳膊了吗 跟腿一样粗 |
| [1:58:55] | Shut up. Don’t be an idiot. | 闭嘴吧 别傻了 |
| [1:58:56] | I’m not being an… | 我不是… |
| [1:58:58] | Imagine that you are a gigantic Australian man | 想想如果你是个澳洲壮汉 |
| [1:59:01] | And someone came into your home and fucked your wife. | 有人到你家干了你的老婆 |
| [1:59:04] | You would murder him | 你会恨不得杀了他 |
| [1:59:06] | And then you would make a hat out of his skin | 扒了他的皮做顶帽子 |
| [1:59:07] | ‘Cause that’s what Australians do. Let’s go! | 澳洲人就是这么凶狠 我们走吧 |
| [1:59:09] | Ira, this is deep shit. People get divorced. | 埃拉 这都是胡话 谁都会离婚 |
| [1:59:12] | They make mistakes, they change their lives. | 人们犯了错 生活再不如从前 |
| [1:59:17] | It’s not that big of a deal. She’s married to an asshole. | 没什么好惊讶的 因为她嫁了个混蛋 |
| [1:59:20] | She seems like a crazy actress, man. | 她像是个发疯的女演员 老兄 |
| [1:59:22] | I don’t know what to tell you, man. | 我不知道和你说什么 老兄 |
| [1:59:24] | Am I not allowed to be happy or something? | 难道我就没资格追求幸福吗 |
| [1:59:26] | I’ve been living alone and alone and alone. That’s my life. | 我一直孤孤单单的独居着 一成不变 |
| [1:59:29] | This is the only girl I’ve ever loved | 而这是我唯一爱过的女人 |
| [1:59:31] | And I’m not supposed to do anything about this? | 我该对此袖手旁观吗 |
| [1:59:33] | When am I supposed to be happy? | 我什么时候才能幸福 |
| [1:59:35] | Why does everyone else get to be happy? | 为什么别人都是幸幸福福的 |
| [1:59:37] | Look, George, I’m just gonna tell you this, as a friend. | 乔治 我以朋友的立场告诉你 |
| [1:59:41] | From where I’m sitting it seems like your happiness | 在我看来 你的快乐 |
| [1:59:44] | Might be coming at the cost of destroying this family. | 是建立在一个家庭的崩溃上面的 |
| [1:59:48] | Okay, let me respond to that, as your friend, | 好 那我也以朋友的立场回答你 |
| [1:59:50] | And let you know you’re not my friend. | 要知道你可不是我朋友 |
| [1:59:53] | You fucking work for me! | 你就是个给我干活的 |
| [1:59:55] | I didn’t ask for your advice! | 我没问你的意见 |
| [1:59:57] | You’re overstepping your boundaries, man! | 你越界了 老兄 |
| [1:59:59] | Now go get me a fucking Diet Coke! | 现在给我拿罐健怡可乐去 |
| [2:00:02] | And remind yourself that’s what you do for me! | 好好记住这才是你应该做的 |
| [2:00:04] | Now get the fuck out of here! | 从凳子上滚开 |
| [2:00:06] | Fine. | 好 |
| [2:00:08] | Don’t fucking leave! Sit down here! | 别现在滚 回来坐下 |
| [2:00:10] | I don’t want to be alone. | 我不想自己在这 |
| [2:00:11] | Okay, fine. | 好 好 |
| [2:00:15] | This is Mark. | 我是马克 |
| [2:00:16] | Hey, Mark, it’s Ira. How’s it going, man? | 嘿 马克 我是埃拉 近来如何 |
| [2:00:18] | Not too good. I didn’t get the part in the Tobey Maguire movie. | 不太好 我没能参加托比・马奎尔的电影 |
| [2:00:21] | That doesn’t matter. I have a problem. I need help, okay? | 无关紧要 我有麻烦了 帮我一下吧 |
| [2:00:23] | Where have you been? | 你去哪了 |
| [2:00:25] | I’m in Marin county. Northern California. | 我在马林郡 北加州 |
| [2:00:28] | Listen, I… I have to tell you something. | 听着 我要告诉你点事 |
| [2:00:31] | Are you sitting down? | 你坐着吗 |
| [2:00:32] | – Yeah. – Okay. | -是的 -好的 |
| [2:00:34] | The other night I went out to drinks | 有一晚我出去 |
| [2:00:36] | With the producers of my show | 跟制片人喝酒 |
| [2:00:37] | And Leo met up with us. | 里奥遇见了我们 |
| [2:00:39] | And they were enamored by him | 他们很看好他 |
| [2:00:40] | And they thought he was really funny. | 认为他很幽默 |
| [2:00:41] | And they offered him a part on yo teach…! And he took it. | 于是他们让他参演yo teach 他接受了 |
| [2:00:44] | I saw the episode. I know that that happened. | 我看过那集 就知道是这样了 |
| [2:00:46] | – You watched it? – I watched it. | -你看过 -看过 |
| [2:00:48] | Did you love it? | 喜不喜欢 |
| [2:00:49] | – Yeah. – He was great, right? | -是呀 -他很棒 对吧 |
| [2:00:51] | It was fine! I have no problem with Leo, okay? | 这没关系 我和里奥没疙瘩 好吗 |
| [2:00:53] | Tell leo, if he’s got a problem, | 跟里奥说 要是他遇到困难 |
| [2:00:55] | To stop being a baby and to just get over it! | 别像个小孩 要自己去克服 |
| [2:00:57] | Why don’t you tell Leo yourself? | 里奥正在监听你们的通话 |
| [2:00:58] | ‘Cause Leo’s been surveilling this whole conversation. | 你干吗不自己告诉他 |
| [2:01:00] | – You dick. – Fucking asshole. | -衰人 -该死的混蛋 |
| [2:01:02] | – Leo, get off the phone! – Screw you, Leo. Screw you. | -里奥 把你的电话挂了 -滚你的 了里奥 |
| [2:01:04] | Hey, man what have you been up to? | 老兄 最近忙什么 |
| [2:01:05] | Sucking George Simmons’ balls? | 在给乔治・西蒙口交吗 |
| [2:01:06] | That’s cool. I’ve been on yo teach…! Living it up. | 太酷了 我来教你 好好享受 |
| [2:01:09] | I’m sorry, Leo. Yo teach…! sucks. | 不好意思 里奥 Yo Teach 恶心 |
| [2:01:10] | Go lose some more weight, Ira! | 去减减肥吧 埃拉 |
| [2:01:12] | You look fucking weird skinny! | 你太他妈瘦了 |
| [2:01:13] | Leo, Calm down! | 里奥 冷静 |
| [2:01:15] | You know what, Ira? | 知道吗 埃拉 |
| [2:01:16] | I want to put my eyeglasses on your asshole | 我真想把我的眼镜戴在你屁股上 |
| [2:01:17] | So it looks like you’re blowing me | 这样我干你的时候 |
| [2:01:18] | When I’m fucking you in the ass, | 还能看起来像是你在吹箫 |
| [2:01:19] | You jerk! | 你个贱人 |
| [2:01:20] | That doesn’t even make sense! | 你说的这些我就当没听到 |
| [2:01:21] | You’re gonna put glasses on my ass? what? | 你要把眼镜放在我屁股上吗 怎样 |
| [2:01:23] | Ira, we will find something for you to do on the show, okay? | 埃拉 我会在节目里给你找个角色 |
| [2:01:27] | Teach can have more than one friend. | 老师可以多几个朋友 |
| [2:01:29] | Can we talk about this later? | 我们能不能回头再谈这个 |
| [2:01:30] | I am in a serious problem. | 我真的有麻烦了 |
| [2:01:32] | I just need some advice, okay? please? | 我需要你们的建议 拜托 |
| [2:01:33] | Just listen to me for two minutes | 只要听我说 |
| [2:01:34] | And tell me what I should do right now, | 然后告诉我该怎么做就行了 |
| [2:01:36] | Okay? | 好吗 |
| [2:01:37] | Will you do that? | 你们听见了吗 |
| [2:01:38] | All right. If it’s serious, I’m sorry. I will listen. | 好吧 如果你是认真的 我很抱歉 我会听的 |
| [2:01:42] | Okay. Here’s what’s happening. | 好的 事情是这样的 |
| [2:01:44] | I’m witnessing a slow-moving train wreck, | 我见证了一起出轨行为 |
| [2:01:46] | But if I do something, I will lose my job. | 可是如果阻止的话 我会丢掉工作 |
| [2:01:48] | Are you serious? | 真的吗 |
| [2:01:49] | So, what I don’t know, is… | 我不知道该… |
| [2:01:51] | Screw you. | 小气鬼 |
| [2:01:55] | Higher! Higher! | 高点 再高点 |
| [2:01:55] | Higher! Higher! | 高点 高点 |
| [2:01:56] | – I can’t. i… I can’t. – Yes, you can. | -我上不去了 -你能行 |
| [2:01:57] | You, you have to go down a little bit then | 你得下来一点 |
| [2:01:58] | – Through the middle. – Be careful. Don’t let him fall on you. | -从中间走 -小心 别让他掉到你身上 |
| [2:02:00] | Where do I put my hand? | 我该把手放哪 |
| [2:02:02] | I spoke to Clarke. | 我和克拉克谈过了 |
| [2:02:03] | He’s gonna be at the airport tonight heading back to china. | 他今晚要坐飞机回中国 |
| [2:02:07] | I’m gonna go tell him that when he comes back | 等他回来我就告诉他 |
| [2:02:10] | He should find another place to live. | 让他去找个别的地方住 |
| [2:02:12] | Wait, wait, wait, wait. what… | 等等 等等 等等 |
| [2:02:14] | You… yeah? Good. Good. yeah. | 你说真的 太好了 |
| [2:02:17] | You’re gonna tell him? | 你会告诉他吗 |
| [2:02:18] | I just don’t want him coming back here. | 我只是不想再让他回来了 |
| [2:02:20] | – You don’t need him. – No. | -你不需要他了 -是啊 |
| [2:02:21] | That’ll just get you sick. | 有他在只会让你恶心 |
| [2:02:23] | Good, you gotta tell him. So, when are you doing that? | 真好 你要告诉他 什么时候告诉他 |
| [2:02:26] | – Tonight? – Yeah. | -今晚 -是的 |
| [2:02:27] | Okay, okay, I’m coming down. | 好了 好了 我要下来了 |
| [2:02:28] | Jump! | 跳 |
| [2:02:30] | I talked to a girlfriend of mine, | 我和朋友谈了谈 |
| [2:02:31] | And she has somebody who could show us | 她能找人给我们介绍 |
| [2:02:33] | Some houses down in los angeles. | 几幢在洛杉矶的房子 |
| [2:02:36] | And we’ll get that whole thing going. | 我们可以过去看看 |
| [2:02:37] | Then I was thinking about taking the kids out of school now, | 我曾想过先让孩子们休学 |
| [2:02:42] | But we should probably let them finish up | 不过还是让她们上完吧 |
| [2:02:44] | Because it’s december. | 都已经12月了 |
| [2:02:45] | And I don’t want to mess everything up. | 我不想把所有事都弄砸了 |
| [2:02:47] | They have to finish the whole year here. | 他们得读完这一年 |
| [2:02:49] | Yeah, that makes sense to me. So, if we just go down | 那对我很重要 所以我们 |
| [2:02:50] | At the beginning of the summer, | 明年夏初再走 |
| [2:02:51] | – Let them kind of transit. – I’m supposed to do | -让他们适应一下 -我本想 |
| [2:02:53] | A little two-week tour this summer. | 夏天的时候去度个小假 |
| [2:02:55] | I’m supposed to do it, but I don’t need to do it. | 只是想去 不是非要去 |
| [2:02:57] | No pressure on you. Look at you! There’s no pressure on you. | 别逼自己 瞧你 我又没给你施压 |
| [2:03:01] | I need to work and I want to get my acting career going again. | 我需要工作 我想回归演艺事业 |
| [2:03:05] | – Good. – Yeah. | -太棒了 -是啊 |
| [2:03:07] | She’s whupping you, Ingrid! Good job there, Lulu. | 她快追上你了茵格丽 干的不错路路 |
| [2:03:10] | So, she’s gonna go to the airport tonight | 这么说 她今晚会去机场 |
| [2:03:12] | And tell Clarke that she wants him to find a new place and… | 告诉克拉克让他搬出去 |
| [2:03:16] | What do you think of that? | 你觉得怎么样 |
| [2:03:18] | I don’t want to tell you what I think about that | 我不想让你知道我是怎么想的 |
| [2:03:21] | ’cause I don’t want to get yelled at, George. | 因为我不想被你吼 乔治 |
| [2:03:22] | Oh, god. | 上帝啊 |
| [2:03:24] | I’m just nervous about the kids and, | 我只是关心这俩孩子 |
| [2:03:25] | Like, who’s gonna get them | 比如谁能获得抚养权 |
| [2:03:27] | And does he get one and Laura gets one, | 是他和劳拉一人一个 |
| [2:03:29] | Or am I gonna have both of them? | 还是我能把她俩都留下 |
| [2:03:31] | ’cause I love the little one, we kind of click. | 因为我喜欢小的那个 我们很合得来 |
| [2:03:33] | But the older one is, like, you sense the period’s coming soon. | 而大的那个 就要到青春期了 |
| [2:03:37] | I think she would probably get the kids. | 我觉得她会把两个都留下的 |
| [2:03:39] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [2:03:40] | I don’t think you can have two girls in china. | 我觉得这两个小家伙都不会去中国的 |
| [2:03:42] | – What are you gonna do now? – Look at this crew. | -你们要干吗 -瞧她们淘气的 |
| [2:03:43] | Why so close? really? | 怎么这么近 |
| [2:03:48] | You okay, little girl? you okay? | 你没事吧 孩子 你还好吧 |
| [2:03:49] | – Oh, man. – Are you okay? | -天啊 -你没事吧 |
| [2:03:51] | Okay. I’m gonna show you Mable singing… | 来看看梅波尔的歌剧 |
| [2:03:53] | Mom, you make everybody see… | 妈妈 你给每个人都看 |
| [2:03:54] | No, memory from Cats. Come on! it’s… | 歌剧《猫》中的主打歌《记忆》 来吧 |
| [2:03:56] | No. I hate that you show it to everyone. | 不 我讨厌你总是让别人看 |
| [2:03:58] | I’ll just show them the end part. | 我就让他们看看结尾部分 |
| [2:04:01] | I’ll just show you the ending. okay. | 来看看结尾部分 |
| [2:04:18] | Burnt-out ends of smoky days | 阴霾往昔 俱化尘烬 |
| [2:04:25] | The stale cold smell of morning | 长夜退却 寒意逼近 |
| [2:04:32] | The streetlamp dies, another night is over | 街灯燃尽 又一夜晚终结 |
| [2:04:39] | Another day is dawning | 新的一天即将黎明 |
| [2:04:47] | Touch me | 轻抚我 |
| [2:04:50] | It’s so easy to leave me all alone with the memory | 想起旧日独自徘徊的时光 |
| [2:04:57] | Of my days in the sun | 是如此轻而易举 |
| [2:05:01] | If you touch me you’ll understand what happiness is | 轻轻抚摸我 就会知道幸福何情何景 |
| [2:05:09] | Look, a new day has begun | 看啊 新的一天已经开始 |
| [2:05:23] | That was unbelievable! | 难以置信 |
| [2:05:24] | Isn’t that good? | 唱的好吗 |
| [2:05:27] | That was insane! | 这太可笑了 |
| [2:05:29] | That was like just seeing a little person | 看着一个小孩 |
| [2:05:31] | Sing an old person’s song. | 唱老人唱的歌 |
| [2:05:33] | That was hysterical! | 真是歇斯底里 |
| [2:05:35] | I got a friend who takes… he takes a lot of acid. | 我有个很刻薄的朋友 |
| [2:05:39] | If he saw that, he would shit himself! | 如果他看到了 他会笑得尿裤子的 |
| [2:05:43] | That’s not supposed to be funny. | 这没什么可笑的 |
| [2:05:44] | I know, I know, I know. I’m… | 我知道 我知道 |
| [2:05:46] | No, I think that’s why it’s funnier. | 你们觉得不可笑那才滑稽呢 |
| [2:05:48] | It was so amazing. | 真是令人叹为观止 |
| [2:05:49] | Wasn’t that good? | 真的吗 |
| [2:05:50] | I think I started crying a little bit. | 我感动的都快哭了 |
| [2:05:52] | Me, too. I cry every time I see that. | 我也是 每次我看都会哭的 |
| [2:05:57] | That shit was funny up there. | 这真的挺可笑的 |
| [2:06:00] | Okay. wow, these guys are not gonna take no for an answer. | 好吧 有些人就是想让我不得安生 |
| [2:06:04] | Yeah. They want me to do another baby movie. | 他们想让我再做一部婴儿电影 |
| [2:06:06] | They keep bumping up the gross on the Dvds. | 又能卖DVD大赚一笔 |
| [2:06:09] | I just… there’s no way I’m doing it. | 我可不会再拍了 |
| [2:06:19] | Okay. Bye. | 好了 再见 |
| [2:06:25] | Hey, George. | 乔治 |
| [2:06:27] | Yeah. | 怎么了 |
| [2:06:29] | I’m going to… I’m gonna go to the store | 我去 我去商店 |
| [2:06:30] | And grab some cigarettes, okay? | 买点烟 行吗 |
| [2:06:32] | I’ll be back soon. | 马上就回来 |
| [2:06:33] | What? what do you need cigarettes for? | 什么 你买烟干什么 |
| [2:06:35] | ’cause I’m addicted to them. | 因为我有烟瘾 |
| [2:06:37] | Why? ‘Cause you look like the Fonz when you smoke? | 为什么 因为你觉得自己吸烟时很帅吗 |
| [2:06:39] | I’ve always smoked. | 我一直吸烟 |
| [2:06:40] | I just didn’t do it in front of you ’cause you were sick. | 我只是没当着你的面抽 因为你病了 |
| [2:06:42] | And now that you’re better… | 既然你已经好些了 |
| [2:06:43] | Hurry up, though, man. | 快去快回 |
| [2:06:45] | I’m running out of gas with the kids here. | 我快跟她们玩得累趴了 |
| [2:06:46] | Okay. I’ll hurry up. | 好的 我快去快回 |
| [2:06:48] | Memory, all alone in the moonlight | 回忆 独自徘徊月光里 |
| [2:06:56] | I can’t wait till the morning | 我无法等你到天明 |
| [2:07:10] | Are my parents getting a divorce? | 我爸妈是不是要离婚了 |
| [2:07:15] | Why… why… why do you ask that? | 为什么这么问 |
| [2:07:18] | Just, like, I can tell. They’re always fighting and… | 我看得出来 他们总是吵架 |
| [2:07:23] | How does that make you feel? | 你觉得难受吗 |
| [2:07:24] | Well, he’s already away a lot, | 他已经不怎么回家了 |
| [2:07:26] | So it doesn’t really matter that much, but… | 虽然不是什么大问题 可是 |
| [2:07:33] | That wouldn’t be fun. | 很影响心情 |
| [2:07:35] | Maybe it would be better if they were separated. | 也许他们分开会好点 |
| [2:07:39] | No? | 不是吗 |
| [2:07:40] | That’s not good. | 也不大好 |
| [2:07:42] | Right. | 是啊 |
| [2:08:05] | Clarke? | 克拉克 |
| [2:08:08] | Laura, what are you doing here? | 劳拉 你在这干什么 |
| [2:08:12] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [2:08:14] | Mr.Way chen, you need to get to the information desk. | 陈伟先生请到询问处 |
| [2:08:17] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [2:08:21] | You’ve reached Ira. | 我是埃拉 |
| [2:08:22] | Please leave me a message. Thank you. | 请留言 谢谢 |
| [2:08:24] | Where are you? you gotta come back here. | 你去哪了 快点回来 |
| [2:08:26] | I think I’m getting… I’m getting lonely here. | 我觉得很寂寞 |
| [2:08:29] | I need some help. Just, seriously, hurry up. | 我需要帮助 真的 快点回来 |
| [2:08:33] | I don’t trust you. Am I imagining things? | 我不信任你 是我自己臆想出来的吗 |
| [2:08:38] | You’re not imagining anything, honey. | 你没有臆想 亲爱的 |
| [2:08:42] | Two times. That’s all I did was two times. | 两次 我只做过两次 |
| [2:08:45] | And I don’t want to ruin everything just | 我不想因为出轨两次 |
| [2:08:46] | ‘Cause of two fucking times. | 就失去家庭 |
| [2:08:47] | She couldn’t even speak english. | 她甚至连英语都不会说 |
| [2:08:53] | Look at our life. You’re driving the kids to school. | 看看我们的生活 你开车送孩子们上学 |
| [2:08:55] | You’re picking them up. You’re like a single mother. | 接她们放学 你就像个单身母亲 |
| [2:08:57] | And you’re not a single mom. You’re my wife. You’re my baby. | 你不是单身妈妈 你是我妻子 是我的宝贝 |
| [2:09:00] | I shouldn’t be in china | 我不该去中国 |
| [2:09:03] | Trying to sell oreos to people | 和那些连话都 |
| [2:09:04] | Who don’t want to fucking talk to me. | 不想跟我讲的人做生意 |
| [2:09:06] | I’m gonna get a normal job. | 我要找一份正常工作 |
| [2:09:09] | I’m gonna be just around the corner. | 就在家附近 |
| [2:09:09] | It’s just gonna be you, me and the kids. | 你 我 孩子们在一起 |
| [2:09:13] | All I want is a fresh start. | 我只是想重新开始 |
| [2:09:15] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [2:09:31] | The George Simmons thing was just a flirtation. | 我只是和乔治・西蒙逢场作戏 |
| [2:09:33] | It was nothing. He really was sick. He just got better. | 不是认真的 他真的病了 可他又好了 |
| [2:09:38] | I’m so fucking glad. Yeah. | 我太高兴了 |
| [2:09:40] | I really like him. I do. I don’t want to hate him. | 我喜欢他 我不想讨厌他 |
| [2:09:44] | I fucking love you. | 我真他妈爱你 |
| [2:09:54] | Ira! | 埃拉 |
| [2:10:00] | What are you doing here? | 你在这干什么 |
| [2:10:02] | I’m going back to Los Angeles. | 我要回洛杉矶 |
| [2:10:05] | LA? | 回洛杉矶? |
| [2:10:06] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [2:10:08] | You’re in the great china air first class lounge, mate. | 你现在 在去中国的班机的候机大厅 |
| [2:10:10] | What are you doing? | 你在这干吗 |
| [2:10:11] | Oh. shit, this is a confusing airport. | 该死 这个机场真是容易让人迷路 |
| [2:10:14] | I thought this was panda express. | 我还以为是熊猫快递 |
| [2:10:17] | Well, it’s good to see you guys, though. | 好吧 很高兴见到你们 |
| [2:10:20] | What’s going on? Laura? | 怎么回事 劳拉? |
| [2:10:23] | What the hell is going on? | 到底怎么回事? |
| [2:10:26] | Uh… ask her. | 问她吧 |
| [2:10:29] | I was so mad at you for the way that you’ve been treating me | 你今天对我的态度让我很生气 |
| [2:10:31] | That I was on my way here to tell you tonight | 我来这是想告诉你 |
| [2:10:34] | To find another place to live when you got back. | 等你回来以后搬出去住 |
| [2:10:36] | But then… I came here to stop her. | 我是来阻止她的 |
| [2:10:38] | Shut the fuck up. | 给我闭嘴 |
| [2:10:39] | I slept with George once, but it’s over. | 我和乔治上过一次床 但一切都过去了 |
| [2:10:42] | It’s done. And it was no big deal. | 结束了 没什么大不了的 |
| [2:10:46] | We didn’t even have sex. He just went down on me. | 我们甚至没有做爱 他只是帮我口交 |
| [2:10:49] | That’s worse. | 糟糕 |
| [2:10:51] | Crikey. | 天啊 |
| [2:10:52] | He manipulated me with his disease! | 他只是利用我来缓和病情 |
| [2:10:56] | Where is he? George, where is he? | 他在哪儿 乔治 他在哪儿 |
| [2:10:59] | He’s at your house. | 他在你家 |
| [2:11:00] | He’s at our house? with our kids? | 他在我家 和我孩子在一起 |
| [2:11:04] | Please don’t get that look on your face. | 别这样 |
| [2:11:05] | Please don’t get that look on your face. | 拜托 别这样 |
| [2:11:07] | – It was a mistake. – I’m gonna kill him. | -这是误会 -我要杀了他 |
| [2:11:08] | No, no, no, no, no. | 不 不 不 |
| [2:11:10] | I’m sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [2:11:12] | You’re sorry? | 你抱歉? |
| [2:11:13] | – I came here to stop… – Who are you? | -我只是来阻止… -你是谁 |
| [2:11:14] | – I don’t know. – Who are you? | -我不知道 -你是谁 |
| [2:11:16] | What are you doing here? | 你来这干什么 |
| [2:11:17] | I was trying to help you. | 我只是想帮你 |
| [2:11:19] | Get the fuck out of my life! | 别再来打扰我的生活了 |
| [2:11:20] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [2:11:22] | Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. | 不 不 不 不 |
| [2:11:27] | Where is it? Where is it? Oh, God, where is it? | 车呢 车呢 上帝啊 车呢 |
| [2:11:33] | So stupid! Stupid shit! | 太蠢了 太蠢了 |
| [2:11:41] | I wanted to tell you I miss you. I miss your kisses. | 我想告诉你我想你 我想你的吻 |
| [2:11:42] | I wanted to tell you I miss you. I miss your kisses. | 我想告诉你我想你 我想你的吻 |
| [2:11:44] | I miss your short skirts. And I miss your smell. | 我想你的短裙 我想你的味道 |
| [2:11:51] | Get the baby | 穿上衣服 |
| [2:11:53] | We’re gonna go find that wizard. | 我们要找到那个男巫 |
| [2:11:55] | Hey, girls. You look so cute. | 孩子们 你们真可爱 |
| [2:11:59] | You, outside. | 你 跟我出来 |
| [2:12:01] | Is he in trouble? | 他有麻烦了 |
| [2:12:02] | Yes. | 是的 |
| [2:12:10] | – What’s gonna happen? – I don’t know. | -会怎么样 -我不知道 |
| [2:12:11] | What do you think I did? | 你以为我干了什么 |
| [2:12:13] | Oh, shit! | 该死 |
| [2:12:14] | Your friend sold you out, mate! | 你朋友出卖了你 伙计 |
| [2:12:16] | No, no, no, Clarke! | 不 不 不 克拉克 |
| [2:12:17] | You think this is a game? stop it! | 你以为这是游戏吗 省省吧 |
| [2:12:19] | What’d you think you were gonna do? | 你想干什么 |
| [2:12:20] | Come in and just fuck up my family? | 搅乱摧毁我的家人吗 |
| [2:12:22] | – Stop it! – Is that what you thought? | -住手 -你是那么想的吗 |
| [2:12:24] | Stop it. stop. no, no, no, no! | 住手 住手 不不不不 |
| [2:12:25] | – I didn’t fucking do anything! – This sort of shit I kill for! | -我什么也没干 -我要杀了你这个混蛋 |
| [2:12:27] | Don’t kill him! Don’t kill him! | 别杀他 别杀他 |
| [2:12:28] | You stupid shit! | 你这个蠢货 |
| [2:12:30] | No! | 不 |
| [2:12:31] | Fuck, man! | 该死 |
| [2:12:32] | – Come here! – Run, George! | -别跑 -快跑 乔治 |
| [2:12:34] | Don’t hurt him, you maniac! | 别伤了他 你这个疯子 |
| [2:12:37] | Cut the shit, guys! | 帮忙啊伙计 |
| [2:12:38] | Stop it! | 住手 |
| [2:12:41] | Run, George! You’re cornering yourself! Go that way! | 快跑 乔治 你跑到死角了 往那边跑 |
| [2:12:44] | – Get away from me! – Take it like a man, George! | -离我远点 -像个男人 乔治 |
| [2:12:45] | Get away from me, you fucking crazy asshole! | 离我远点 你这个疯子 |
| [2:12:47] | You fucking asshole! Get away! | 你这个混蛋 滚开 |
| [2:12:51] | Oh, My god. | 上帝啊 |
| [2:12:53] | She’s not happy with you! | 她和你在一起不幸福 |
| [2:12:55] | No one who’s married is happy, you idiot! | 没有哪个婚姻是一直幸福的 你这白痴 |
| [2:12:59] | Get in a ball, George! Get in a ball! | 缩成一团 乔治 缩成一团 |
| [2:13:01] | Fight like a man! Get on your feet, would you? | 像个男人一样站起来 来打一架 行吗你 |
| [2:13:03] | I don’t know how to fight! | 我是喜剧演员 |
| [2:13:04] | I’m a comedian, you fucking asshole! | 我不会打架 你这混蛋 |
| [2:13:06] | Should I jump in? | 要我帮忙吗 |
| [2:13:07] | No! no! don’t jump in! | 不 不 不要你管 |
| [2:13:09] | Just get away from me, man! you traitor! | 离我远点 你这个叛徒 |
| [2:13:11] | Go get more cigarettes, you liar! | 抽你的烟去 你这个骗子 |
| [2:13:13] | I accomplished nothing! | 我什么都没做 |
| [2:13:14] | They made up before I got there! | 我到之前他们就和好了 |
| [2:13:17] | Where’s your helmet now, yankee? | 你的头盔呢 美国佬 |
| [2:13:19] | Let’s talk! clarke! | 来谈谈吧 克拉克 |
| [2:13:22] | Clarke, no! | 克拉克 不要 |
| [2:13:24] | Come on, pussy! | 还手啊娘们 |
| [2:13:26] | Help! | 救命 |
| [2:13:28] | All right! | 好吧 |
| [2:13:29] | Stop! | 停止 |
| [2:13:30] | I got him! I got him! you don’t want this, schmira. | 我抓到他了 我抓到了 你不想这样吧 史麦拉 |
| [2:13:32] | You don’t want a piece of me, schmira! | 你想尝尝我的厉害吧 史麦拉 |
| [2:13:34] | I am gonna love this! | 我会爱死这个的 |
| [2:13:37] | God! | 上帝啊 |
| [2:13:38] | You son of a bitch! I knew you didn’t want me to be happy! | 你这个贱人 我就知道你不想看到我幸福 |
| [2:13:41] | What are you doing, man? look at this! you fucking suck! | 你在干吗 老兄 你真他妈恶心 |
| [2:13:44] | You’ve gone crazy! you’re a lightweight… | 你疯啦 真没用 |
| [2:13:46] | Get away from me, man! | 滚开 |
| [2:13:47] | …named ira wiener! ira wiener! | 埃拉・烤肠 埃拉・烤肠 |
| [2:13:50] | – You should have died! – Well, I ain’t going nowhere! | -你还不如去死 -我现在死不了啦 |
| [2:13:52] | – I’m never gonna die! – I hope you die! | -我才不会死呢 -我想让你去死 |
| [2:13:53] | – I’m never gonna die, baby! – Die! | -亲爱的 我才死不了 -去死 |
| [2:13:55] | – Boys, stop it! – I hope you die! I hate you! | -你们别打了 -我希望你们挂掉 讨厌你们 |
| [2:13:57] | I know what you’re trying to do, the pair of you! | 我知道你俩要干吗 |
| [2:13:58] | You’re trying to distract me so I won’t hit him! | 你就想分散我注意力 让我忘记打他 |
| [2:14:00] | Lackey! Lackey! | 马屁精 马屁精 |
| [2:14:02] | Wait! | 等等 |
| [2:14:03] | Oh, shit, clarke! dude! | 妈的 克拉克 |
| [2:14:05] | Are you okay, George? | 你还好吗 乔治 |
| [2:14:06] | Where’s your stunt man now, hey? | 你的特技男在哪呢 |
| [2:14:08] | Stop it! | 够了 |
| [2:14:09] | Will you stop hitting me? | 你能不要再打了吗 |
| [2:14:13] | I’m better now, but it can come back! | 我现在好多了 不过可能还会再生病 |
| [2:14:17] | Laura, tell him. tell him what you told me. | 劳拉 告诉他你对我说的话 |
| [2:14:20] | Tell him that you love me more than you love him. tell him! | 告诉他你爱我多一些 告诉他 |
| [2:14:24] | Yeah, when she told you that, | 她这么跟你说的时候 |
| [2:14:25] | Did she think you were dying, huh? | 是以为你快死了 |
| [2:14:28] | Tell him. tell him. is it me or him? | 告诉他 告诉他 选我还是他 |
| [2:14:33] | Him. | 他 |
| [2:14:35] | What? come on! are you serious? | 什么 拜托 你说真的吗 |
| [2:14:40] | He’s my husband. we have a family. | 他是我丈夫 我们是一家人 |
| [2:14:44] | I love him. | 我爱他 |
| [2:14:46] | And you didn’t even cry when mable sang cats. | 梅波尔唱《猫》的时候你都没哭 |
| [2:14:50] | What’s the matter with you? | 你到底怎么回事 |
| [2:14:52] | I didn’t want to lie. I don’t know. | 我不想说谎 我不知道 |
| [2:14:54] | I’ve seen it on broadway before. | 我早在百老汇看过 |
| [2:14:58] | It wasn’t as good as it. | 没那演得好 |
| [2:15:02] | What are you guys doing on the lawn? | 你们在草地上干吗呢 |
| [2:15:04] | I’m hungry! | 我饿了 |
| [2:15:06] | Nothing. we’re just… we’re just mucking around. | 没事 我们只是 随便晃晃 |
| [2:15:10] | Come on. go back inside. | 走吧 进去吧 |
| [2:15:18] | Sorry, george. I’ll always love you. | 对不起 乔治 我一直爱你 |
| [2:15:23] | But what are we gonna do? | 但是我们能怎样呢 |
| [2:15:25] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [2:15:28] | I’m sorry I came up here. I shouldn’t have come. | 抱歉过来打扰你 我不该来的 |
| [2:15:31] | No, I’m glad you did. | 没有 我很高兴你来了 |
| [2:15:34] | Maybe when we’re 70? | 70岁的时候还有可能吗 |
| [2:15:38] | I hope you find a way to be happy. | 希望你可以找到幸福 |
| [2:15:41] | Shit. he’s coming back. he’s coming back. let’s go. | 操 他回来了 他回来了 快走 |
| [2:15:44] | Clarke. | 克拉克 |
| [2:15:46] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [2:15:47] | I’ve just worked out why all this shit has happened. | 我刚他妈明白到底怎么回事 |
| [2:15:50] | In the east, they call this karma. | 在东方 这个叫做报应 |
| [2:15:52] | And I have brought all this shit upon us with my misbehavior. | 因为我胡来才他妈有这种烂下场 |
| [2:15:56] | That’s why all this shit has happened. | 所以才他妈会这样 |
| [2:15:59] | This had to happen. | 这是一定要发生的 |
| [2:16:01] | But some good shit’s gonna come from this. | 不过好运气就快来了 |
| [2:16:04] | We have to learn from this, you know, all of us. | 我们大家都得吸取教训 |
| [2:16:07] | There’s a good lesson here. | 这是个很好的教训 |
| [2:16:10] | Underneath anger is hurt, | 愤怒之下是伤痛 |
| [2:16:14] | But underneath hurt is love. | 但伤痛之下才见爱 |
| [2:16:18] | You feel it? | 你感觉到了吗 |
| [2:16:22] | Okay? | 可以吗 |
| [2:16:24] | Yeah. thank you. | 恩 谢谢 |
| [2:16:25] | I’m sorry about this. | 抱歉打了你 |
| [2:16:26] | Yeah, yeah. don’t worry about it. | 不用放在心上 |
| [2:16:45] | Do you want me to drive? | 想让我来开车吗 |
| [2:16:47] | No, you don’t have to drive me. I’ll drive myself. | 不用 你不用给我开车 我自己开 |
| [2:16:51] | In fact, you’re never gonna have to drive me again | 事实上 你永远都不用再给我开车了 |
| [2:16:54] | Because you’re fired, Ira. | 因为你被炒了 埃拉 |
| [2:16:56] | You’re the only person that I’ve ever heard of | 你是我认识的唯一一个 |
| [2:16:58] | That learned nothing from a near-death experience, George. | 死不悔改的人 乔治 |
| [2:17:01] | You went backwards. you’re worse. | 你又恢复老样子了 比以前更烂 |
| [2:17:02] | You know what I am? A good friend. | 你知道我是谁吗 一个好朋友 |
| [2:17:05] | I would never run to the airport and rat somebody out. | 我永远都不会跑到机场去出卖朋友 |
| [2:17:08] | I don’t have that in my DNA. that’s not a friend, man. | 我没那种基因 那不是朋友该做的事 |
| [2:17:12] | A friend tells you. a friend comes up to you and says, | 朋友和你讲实话 朋友会走到你面前说 |
| [2:17:14] | “hey, you’re in a heap of shit. you better not do it. “ | “嘿 你有一堆麻烦 最好别乱来” |
| [2:17:17] | He doesn’t run and tell the fucking girl. | 而不会跑去和他妈的女人讲闲话 |
| [2:17:21] | Good. fire me. I don’t want to be around you anymore, | 行 炒了我吧 我再也不想跟着你了 |
| [2:17:23] | ’cause you are fucking contagious! | 因为你他妈会影响我 |
| [2:17:25] | You think I can’t get another assistant? | 你觉得我找不到助理了吗 |
| [2:17:28] | I can’t get someone else to write jokes for me? | 我找不到其他人给我写段子了吗 |
| [2:17:30] | You think I’m gonna lay in my bed going, | 你以为我会躺在床上想 |
| [2:17:32] | “aw, I miss my schmira”? | “真想念我的史麦拉呀” |
| [2:17:35] | You’re a fucking no-thought. That’s the beauty. | 你他妈根本没思想 这是你唯一的优点 |
| [2:17:38] | Once you’re gone it never comes back in my brain. | 你一走我就会马上忘记你了 |
| [2:17:40] | You think getting laura would have made you happy? | 你以为得到劳拉就能开心了吗 |
| [2:17:42] | I know so. | 对的呀 |
| [2:17:43] | You think if you had a family right now, You would be happy? | 你觉得你有个家你就会幸福吗 |
| [2:17:45] | You’ll never be happy, | 你永远不开心 |
| [2:17:47] | ‘Cause you’re always gonna be stuck with yourself! | 因为你只在乎你自己 |
| [2:17:49] | Unless somehow you can get away from you, | 除非你能改正这点 |
| [2:17:52] | You’re always gonna be miserable, george. | 不然你会永远都那么可悲的 乔治 |
| [2:17:54] | You are not funny. | 你一点都不幽默 |
| [2:17:57] | Well, if that means I’m less like you, | 如果那意味着我不像你 |
| [2:17:59] | Then good, I don’t want to be funny, okay? | 那太好了 我才不要那种幽默呢 |
| [2:18:02] | Mission accomplished, Ira. | 任务完成了 埃拉 |
| [2:18:05] | Bad career choice. | 入错行了 |
| [2:18:07] | Comedy usually is for funny people. | 喜剧是幽默的人的事 |
| [2:19:11] | Chances are you’ve got a lot of stuff stuffed in your drawers and closets | 你的衣橱和抽屉里可能塞满了东西 |
| [2:19:14] | That you don’t really need. | 都是你不需要的 |
| [2:19:15] | Mary Bolster is editor-in-chief of natural health magazine. | 玛丽・波斯特是自然健康杂志的主编 |
| [2:19:18] | She’s here to help you get trashing, | 她会教你如何清理 |
| [2:19:20] | Bagging and get organized. | 打包和整理 |
| [2:19:21] | -Hello, Mary. – Hi, Hoda. | -你好 玛丽 -你好 荷达 |
| [2:19:23] | Okay, we do save things for the wackiest reasons. | 我们会为些古怪的原因保存东西 |
| [2:19:29] | Good morning. | 早上好 |
| [2:19:33] | I think I’m gonna forgive him today. | 我觉得我今天会原谅他 |
| [2:19:35] | What? really? yeah. | 什么 真的吗 |
| [2:19:37] | Great! that’s great news! | 太好了 真是好消息 |
| [2:19:39] | He’s just gonna be so jealous that I’m on yo teach…! | 怕他知道我上了Yo teach 会嫉妒 |
| [2:19:41] | you know? I just figured it’d be a cool thing to do. | 你知道那是件挺酷的事 |
| [2:19:44] | Well, maybe we could find something for him. | 可能我们也能给他找点事做 |
| [2:19:47] | You know, if it comes up organically, definitely, | 如果能顺其自然 那肯定 |
| [2:19:50] | But we shouldn’t force it. | 但是我们也不能强求 |
| [2:19:51] | You know? right. | 你知道的 不是吗 |
| [2:19:53] | I don’t want to be on yo teach…! | 我才不想上Yo teach呢 |
| [2:19:56] | It’s okay. I forgave you, you know? | 没关系 我原谅你 |
| [2:19:58] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [2:20:00] | So, how’d everything go up there this weekend? | 这个周末在那边过得怎样 |
| [2:20:04] | I think I did the right thing, | 我觉得自己做的是对的 |
| [2:20:06] | But george fired me and punched me in the face. | 但乔治炒了我还一拳打在我脸上 |
| [2:20:11] | You want to talk about it? | 你有什么想说的吗 |
| [2:20:13] | No. | 没有 |
| [2:20:16] | I kind of wish you would. | 我倒是挺希望你能讲讲 |
| [2:20:18] | It sounds like the greatest story, ever. | 听起来挺震撼的 |
| [2:20:21] | Wake me up at 2:00. I’ll tell you about it. | 2点时把我叫醒 我就跟你讲 |
| [2:20:24] | Well, we’re glad you’re back. | 好吧 很高兴你回来了 |
| [2:20:27] | Glad you’re home. | 很高兴你回家了 |
| [2:20:28] | I can’t believe I have to start all over again. | 真不敢相信我得从头来过 |
| [2:20:32] | Hey, man, how you doing? | 嗨 兄弟 最近怎么样 |
| [2:20:35] | Hey, how you doing? heard you were sick. | 嗨 怎么样 听说你生病了 |
| [2:20:36] | You feeling better now? over here! | 现在好点了吗 这里 |
| [2:20:38] | George, second lease on life. what are you gonna do now? | 乔治 重获新生你有什么想法 |
| [2:20:41] | Hey, guys, come on. come on | 让让 让让 |
| [2:20:41] | I heard rumors about another baby movie. what do you got, huh? | 有传闻说又要拍一部婴儿电影 你有何回应 |
| [2:20:43] | Yeah, yeah, we’re gonna shoot that. that should be good. | 对对 我会去拍的 应该不错 |
| [2:20:45] | Gonna start that in a little bit. let me get by you, though. | 不过得开拍了才能和你们说 |
| [2:21:00] | It’s nice up here, huh? | 这里挺不错的是吧 |
| [2:21:01] | Yeah. how’d you find it? | 恩 你怎么找到的 |
| [2:21:05] | Me and my friends, we hike up here and I always thought, | 我和朋友远足到这里 我时常想 |
| [2:21:08] | “you know, that’d be a great place to take | “这里真是个约会的好地方” |
| [2:21:09] | “a woman if you… if you knew one. “ | “如果你 有女人的话” |
| [2:21:13] | Well, now you know one. | 现在你有了 |
| [2:21:14] | Good. | 真好 |
| [2:21:30] | Hey, I’m gonna give him the light. | 我去给他做灯光 |
| [2:21:32] | Thanks, Mark. | 谢谢 马克 |
| [2:21:34] | Bailey, you’re number two. | 百利 你是二号 |
| [2:21:43] | Hey, Ira. how you doing? | 嗨 埃拉 最近怎样 |
| [2:21:45] | Good. how you doing? | 挺好 你怎么样 |
| [2:21:46] | Wassup, big money? | 最近怎样啊 老板 |
| [2:21:47] | You guys know each other? | 你们认识吗 |
| [2:21:48] | Yes. I’ve seen this young jewish comedian. | 对啊 我见过这个犹太喜剧小演员 |
| [2:21:51] | Randy, what’s happening? | 兰蒂 最近可好 |
| [2:21:53] | I saw this cat down at otto’s yesterday. | 我昨天在奥托熟食店看到这哥们 |
| [2:21:55] | Made me a little panini. | 给我做了个乡村软式法国面包 |
| [2:21:57] | Grilled chicken pesto. shit was nice. | 碳烤鸡肉加松子酱 真他妈好吃 |
| [2:22:00] | Yeah, I’m working at otto’s again. | 对啊 我又在奥托熟食店打工了 |
| [2:22:03] | So, you’re going up? | 你要上台了 |
| [2:22:05] | Yeah, I’m about to go up now. see you guys. | 对啊 正要上台呢 回头见 |
| [2:22:09] | Later! | 再见 |
| [2:22:12] | Thank you. thank you. | 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [2:22:15] | My friends are very sexually aggressive, which is hard for me. | 我朋友在性爱方面很大胆 我有点困扰 |
| [2:22:18] | You know, we’ll watch television and they’ll just see… | 看电视的时候看到 |
| [2:22:20] | A hot girl will come on and they’ll just be, | 辣妹出场的时候他们会说 |
| [2:22:22] | “man, I wanna fuck the shit out of that girl, man! | “哥们 我真他妈想干那个妞” |
| [2:22:26] | “I’m gonna fuck that girl!” | “我得上了那个妞” |
| [2:22:28] | And i, like, can’t even say that. | 我就没种讲出那种话 |
| [2:22:29] | I can’t even pretend I would do that. | 我装都装不像 |
| [2:22:30] | I see a hot girl on tv and I’m like, | 在电视上看到辣妹我就说 |
| [2:22:32] | “man, I would friend the shit out of her! | “我真他妈想和她做朋友” |
| [2:22:36] | I’d friend her all night! I would be her girlfriend! | “我会和她友爱一整晚 做闺中密友” |
| [2:22:42] | I would drive her to the airport, man! | “我会让她像腾云一样开心” |
| [2:22:46] | I would hold her purse while she shopped, all over her tits!” | “逛商场时我会帮她拿着钱包 照看她的小咪咪” |
| [2:22:57] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [2:22:59] | Hi, I need a pound of turkey and | 请给我一磅火鸡和 |
| [2:23:01] | A half-pint of macaroni salad, please. | 半品脱通心粉沙拉 |
| [2:23:05] | Um… yeah, I’ll just be one sec, okay? | 稍等片刻行吗 |
| [2:23:07] | Okay, thanks. | 好 谢谢 |
| [2:23:10] | The last time I came here, | 上次我来 |
| [2:23:12] | The roast beef you gave me had the string still around it | 烤牛肉上的线还没取下来 |
| [2:23:15] | And I was unaware of this and fed it to my husband, | 我没注意就给老伴吃了 |
| [2:23:18] | And he choked. | 结果给噎住了 |
| [2:23:23] | How’s it going, george? | 最近怎样乔治 |
| [2:23:26] | You get a break or anything where you can talk? | 你有休息时间什么的我们能谈谈吗 |
| [2:23:30] | Okay, yeah. sure. Chuck, I’ll be one sec, okay, man? | 当然 查克 我马上回来 |
| [2:23:36] | Shit. | 我靠 |
| [2:23:49] | So, you had to get your job back here, huh? | 你又回来工作啦 |
| [2:23:53] | Yeah. you know, I figured I could use a little job stability. | 是啊 这工作还挺稳定的 |
| [2:23:58] | Oh, I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [2:24:00] | I get health insurance. it’s pretty good. | 还能上健康保险 不错 |
| [2:24:04] | So, I thought a lot about what you said in the car to me. | 我回头想了想你在车上说的话 |
| [2:24:11] | A few of those things might have been accurate. | 有些问题你说得一针见血 |
| [2:24:16] | You tried to help me and I’m sorry | 你只是想帮我 可是很对不起 |
| [2:24:18] | I put you in the middle of all that stuff. | 我却让你左右为难 |
| [2:24:20] | I’m better in my body. | 我的身体康复了 |
| [2:24:23] | My brain has a ways to go, though. | 可我的脑子还不好使 |
| [2:24:29] | How are you doing, though? you’re doing okay? | 那你最近怎样 还好吧 |
| [2:24:36] | I don’t know, Ira. | 我也不知道 埃拉 |
| [2:24:42] | I… | 我 |
| [2:24:43] | I caught your whole set the other night, Ira. nice. | 那晚我听完了你的整场表演 埃拉 真不错 |
| [2:24:47] | Yeah, yeah, no, you’re getting a rhythm. | 你混出点样子了 |
| [2:24:49] | You’re starting to be the Ira I like in real life onstage. | 你在台上也像是生活中我欣赏的埃拉了 |
| [2:24:53] | Thanks. I’ve been getting up a lot lately, so it’s going well. | 谢谢 我最近进步了挺多 |
| [2:24:56] | Yeah, you were funny, and it was a fart-free set. | 对对 挺幽默的 而且还是即兴演出 |
| [2:25:00] | I wrote some stuff down that night that… some jokes. | 我那晚后来写了一些段子 |
| [2:25:04] | You want to hear it? | 你想听吗 |
| [2:25:05] | You what? | 你什么 |
| [2:25:07] | I couldn’t stop thinking of jokes for you last night. | 我昨晚不停得给你编段子 |
| [2:25:10] | It was bizarre. | 真诡异 |
| [2:25:11] | I’m not saying they’re good jokes, but I try. | 我没说这些段子一定好 但我尽力了 |
| [2:25:16] | You actually wrote them down! | 你还写下来啦 |
| [2:25:18] | Yeah, yeah, yeah. my fucking memory’s horrible. | 对啊 我他妈的记忆不好 |
| [2:25:21] | That thing you did about the wii fit thing. what’s that? | 任天堂那个 你怎么说来着 |
| [2:25:25] | Oh, like, “my video game… ” yeah. | “我的游戏机” |
| [2:25:27] | “my video game told me I’m fat?” | “我的游戏机说我肥” |
| [2:25:29] | Yeah, yeah, yeah. “the ultimate betrayal. ” yeah. | 对对 “终极背叛” |
| [2:25:31] | Right, right. | 对 对 |
| [2:25:32] | You could maybe say, | 你也可以说 |
| [2:25:33] | “I mean, that’s like my pot telling me I’m lazy. “ | “我的啤酒肚笑我懒” |
| [2:25:36] | Oh, that’s really funny. | 这个真好笑 |
| [2:25:37] | “and the wii is similar to my grandmother. | “然后游戏机就像我奶奶一样” |
| [2:25:39] | she used to tell me I’m getting chubby | “她老说我越长越圆” |
| [2:25:41] | “and then bring me chicken parmesan and say, | “边说还边把番茄奶酪鸡排送到我嘴边” |
| [2:25:43] | ‘why are you so fat?'” | “问我 ‘你怎么长那么肥啊'” |
| [2:25:45] | That’s really funny! | 这个真搞笑 |
| [2:25:46] | It’s true. the video game made me fat and… | 游戏机让我变肥 |
| [2:25:48] | It is like my grandmother. | 就像我奶奶一样 |
| [2:25:50] | “Why are you so fat? | “你怎么那么肥” |
| [2:25:51] | Here’s four gallons of chocolate milk. “ | “给你4加仑朱古力牛奶喝” |
| [2:25:53] | That’s good! She would always do that. | 真形象 她就老是那样 |
| [2:25:54] | That’s good. I got one I’ve been afraid to tell, | 有个我还没敢讲的 |
| [2:25:56] | Kind of, about, like, viagra. it’s like, | 关于伟哥的 |
| [2:25:58] | “My grandfather takes viagra | “我爷爷吃了伟哥” |
| [2:26:00] | and he thought he was tittie-fucking my grandmother… “ | “他以为自己在和奶奶胸交” |
| [2:26:03] | “but then he realized he was tittie-fucking | “最后他才发现自己胸交的 |
| [2:26:05] | his own balls. “ | 是自己的蛋蛋” |
| [2:26:08] | That’s funny! you got to do that! | 这个太逗了 你得讲这个 |
| [2:26:09] | That’s pretty funny, huh? | 挺好笑的是把 |
| [2:26:10] | You got to say that the thing… that when you’re that old | 你得说那个 你老了以后 |
| [2:26:13] | And you have a boner that there’s not a good position. | “老了后 就算勃起了也找不好位置” |
| [2:26:16] | That’s funny! that’s really… | 那个好笑 超好笑 |
| [2:26:17] | You do it doggy-style, your knees hurt. | “用狗爬式的话 不但会弄伤膝盖” |
| [2:26:19] | You get water on your knee. | “还会弄湿它” |
| [2:26:21] | – I can’t even hold myself up in… ” – Exactly. | -“我根本都进不去” -对对 |
| [2:26:23] | “what would an old man do?” | “人老了还能干嘛呢” |
| [2:28:37] | Let’s do another bad one then | 再来个恶搞的吧 |
| [2:28:39] | ’cause I like it when the blood drains from david’s face. | 因为我喜欢血从大卫脸上冒出来的样子 |