| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:07] | Hi. Picking up for Jules? | 你好 我是来取茱尔斯的餐的 |
| [00:09] | Jules. | 茱尔斯 |
| [00:10] | I’ve got a single chicken kebab plate, | 单份烤鸡肉 |
| [00:12] | single salad, and a single slice of pie. | 单份沙拉 单份派 |
| [00:14] | How many utensils would you like? | 你需要几份餐具 |
| [00:15] | Um, two sets please. | 两份 |
| [00:18] | You don’t have to do that for me. | 你不用为了我要两份 |
| [00:20] | Jeremy! Party of two! | 杰瑞米 两位 |
| [00:25] | Right this way, Mr. And Mrs. Jeremy. | 这边请 杰瑞米夫妇 |
| [00:32] | Should we get on the floor? | 我们要趴到地上吗 |
| [00:36] | Whoa! That was insane! | 好疯狂 |
| [00:37] | Yeah, little earthquake. That’s L. A. For ya. | 是啊 小地震 洛杉矶就这样 |
| [00:50] | – Quiet on the set! – I gotta get you mic’d up! | -安静 -我要给你装上麦克风 |
| [00:52] | – You’re on in 20 seconds! – On? What am I on? | -再过20秒就该你上了 -上什么 |
| [00:55] | They told you this piece is live, right? | 他们跟你说了是直播 对吗 |
| [00:58] | The big one is coming. | “大碰撞”就要来了 |
| [01:00] | Scientists say it’s a matter of when not if. | 科学家说这只是时间问题 来是肯定会来的 |
| [01:02] | That’s right, it’s a virtual certainty that, at some point, | 没错 事实上肯定会发生 在某个时候 |
| [01:05] | Jules will run into her ex with another girl. | 茱尔斯会遇上她前任和另一个女生在一起 |
| [01:08] | We’re joined by Dr. Jeffrey Mandlebaum, | 今天我们邀请来的事杰弗里·曼德伯姆博士 |
| [01:10] | the chairman of the Running Into Your Ex department | 约翰·霍普金斯大学 |
| [01:13] | at Johns Hopkins University. | 和前任相遇部的主席 |
| [01:15] | Dr. Mandlebaum, thanks for being here. | 曼德伯姆博士 谢谢你过来 |
| [01:17] | You say the remarkable thing is, actually, | 你说不可思议的是 |
| [01:19] | that Jules hasn’t run into Jeremy on a date yet. | 茱尔斯还没碰到过杰瑞米约会 |
| [01:22] | Well, the key issues are Jeremy’s increasing Bumble use | 关键问题在于杰瑞米约会软件使用频率的增加 |
| [01:25] | coupled with the terrifying proximity of his home to Jules’, | 以及他家和茱尔斯家的距离近得可怕 |
| [01:29] | not to mention the radius of their typical movements. | 更别说他们经常出没的范围也相似 |
| [01:31] | Now, the main danger zone extends | 主要危险区一直延伸到 |
| [01:33] | all the way up to that Italian restaurant they both like | 他们都喜欢的那家意大利餐厅 |
| [01:36] | to the coffee shop with the extremely tatted-up barista. | 以及那家有着全身是文身的咖啡师的咖啡馆 |
| [01:39] | But we can’t rule out run-ins over an even larger radius, | 但我们不能排除在更大范围里的相遇 |
| [01:44] | perhaps even as far as that | 或许最远能到达 |
| [01:46] | unbelievably cute little bar on Third Street | 三街上的那个可爱小酒吧 |
| [01:48] | and the movie theater that serves wine. | 以及那家提供红酒的电影院 |
| [01:51] | And Congress has done nothing to address this? | 国会对此没有发表任何意见 |
| [01:53] | That’s unfortunately true. | 很不幸是的 |
| [01:55] | But the scarier thing is what people aren’t doing for themselves. | 但更可怕的是人们自己也无动于衷 |
| [01:58] | Surveys show that more than 80% of recently broken-up-with people | 调查显示超过八成最近分手的人 |
| [02:02] | don’t have a plan for the big one. | 对”大碰撞”没有任何计划 |
| [02:04] | And now in an exclusive interview, we have Jules Wiley herself. | 接下来是独家采访 我们请来了茱尔斯·怀利本人 |
| [02:08] | Jules, what have you done to prepare for the big one? | 茱尔斯 你对”大碰撞”有做什么准备 |
| [02:12] | Um, I’m just kinda hoping I can avoid it. | 我就希望能避免 |
| [02:16] | This is typical of the nonsense | 这是我从蒙昧前任那里 |
| [02:18] | that I hear from uninformed exes every day. | 每天都会听到的无知回复 |
| [02:20] | Makes me question why I even became a scientist. | 不禁让我好奇我当初为什么要做科学家 |
| [02:22] | Hey, I could be the one on the date. You don’t know. | 约会的也可能是我 你可说不准 |
| [02:25] | There you have it. The kind of insane delusional thinking | 看吧 这种痴心妄想 |
| [02:27] | that is, to me, a searing indictment | 在我看来 是对茱尔斯 |
| [02:30] | of the state of Jules’ preparation for the big one | 为大碰撞所做准备 |
| [02:33] | and perhaps of her very right to exist. | 以及她存在的权利的尖刻审判 |
| [02:36] | Our story when we come back: is sexting getting hotter? | 接下来我们将讨论 性爱短信越来越火了吗 |
| [02:40] | And if so, is the cause man-made? | 如果是的话 是[男]人造成的吗 |
| [02:50] | You’re each a rare and special gem in my life. | 你们都是我生命里独一无二的珍宝 |
| [02:53] | So if any one of you die in a natural disaster | 所以如果你们中任何人因为准备不足 |
| [02:56] | because you were unprepared, | 而死于自然灾害 |
| [02:57] | I will literally find a way to revive you and then kill you. | 我会把你们复活然后再杀了你们 |
| [03:00] | Oh. Ha. That was very sweet almost. | 真贴心 |
| [03:02] | All right, everyone take notes. | 各位记住了 |
| [03:03] | You are only allowed to die when Madison gives you permission to. | 麦迪逊同意了你才能死 |
| [03:05] | Okay, that minor earthquake | 之前的小地震 |
| [03:07] | could be an indication that a bigger one is coming. | 可能预示着会有更大的地震将要来临 |
| [03:10] | Having a well-packed earthquake kit | 一个装备齐全的地震应急包 |
| [03:11] | is the only thing that can save you, | 是唯一能拯救的东西 |
| [03:13] | which is why I need to make sure all of yours are up to code. | 所以我需要确保你们符合标准 |
| [03:16] | Izzy? | 伊兹 |
| [03:19] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [03:24] | Izzy, you’re supposed to pack non-perishable food. | 伊兹 你应该打包不易腐坏的食物 |
| [03:28] | I thought in an emergency | 我以为在紧急状况中 |
| [03:30] | you want to save foods that could perish. | 你得拯救易腐坏的食物 |
| [03:32] | False. Jules? | 错 茱尔斯 |
| [03:38] | This isn’t a kit. | 这不是应急包 |
| [03:39] | It’s the items they provide for you at a woman’s prison. | 这是女子监狱给囚犯的东西 |
| [03:41] | For free? | 免费 |
| [03:44] | Literally, what would any of you do without me? | 说真的 没有我你们要怎么活啊 |
| [03:46] | Stella? | 史黛拉 |
| [03:47] | Uh, yeah, so I was gonna make one, | 我本打算准备一个的 |
| [03:49] | but then I decided I really didn’t want to. | 然后我决定我不想准备了 |
| [03:51] | I always love you, but sometimes I don’t like you. | 我一直很爱你 但有时我真的不喜欢你 |
| [03:54] | Madison, you’re stressing about something you have no control over. | 麦迪逊 你为你无法控制的事而焦头烂额 |
| [03:57] | Look, I never worry about stuff, and somehow it always works out. | 我从来什么都不担心 但是不知为何却总是很顺利 |
| [04:00] | How am I supposed to go to sleep at night | 知道我最好的朋友之一 |
| [04:02] | knowing one of my best friends | 没有做任何准备 |
| [04:03] | is out there completely unprepared? | 我晚上要如何入睡 |
| [04:04] | Wine and Ambien. They work best in combination. | 红酒和安必恩 一起服用效果最好 |
| [04:07] | Okay, you all failed | 你们都不达标 |
| [04:08] | and are now crawling around a post-earthquake mayhem, | 在后地震的骚乱中四处爬行 |
| [04:11] | offering hand jobs for stale candy bars. | 以打飞机换取陈腐的糖棒 |
| [04:14] | This is how it’s done. | 这才是应急包该有的样子 |
| [04:18] | Paleo canned food items. | 原始人饮食罐头食物 |
| [04:20] | Miniatures of my entire skin care routine. | 我的全套护肤品浓缩版 |
| [04:23] | Nine vacuum-sealed outfits | 九套真空封闭的服装 |
| [04:25] | ranging from casual chic to black-tie optional. | 包括精致休闲到随意正式礼服 |
| [04:29] | A female-centric first-aid kit where everything is scented. | 以女性为主的急救包 所有东西都有香味 |
| [04:32] | And-some may say this is overkill-a flashlight. | 有的人也许会说这太夸张 手电筒 |
| [04:36] | Um, why would you need formal-wear after an earthquake? | 地震后你为什么需要正式礼服 |
| [04:39] | If Brad Pitt comes to rebuild your house, | 如果布拉德·皮特要来重建你家 |
| [04:42] | what will you be wearing? | 你要穿什么 |
| [04:44] | Uh, Madison, why do you have my passport I lost four years ago | 麦迪逊 你怎么有我四年前丢失的护照 |
| [04:48] | when I was supposed to go | 我本来要和杰登·史密斯 |
| [04:49] | base-jumping in Bhutan with Jaden Smith? | 去不丹低空跳伞 |
| [04:51] | Oh, gosh, I don’t know! How did that get in there? | 天 我不知道 怎么会在这儿 |
| [04:54] | Anyway, how cute is this little jar? | 总之 这个小罐子多可爱 |
| [04:56] | I just I love it when they take normal-sized things | 我喜欢他们把正常大小的东西 |
| [04:58] | and make them smaller. Don’t you love that? | 做得更小 你不喜欢吗 |
| [05:00] | Madison, stop trying to distract me. I’m not four years old. | 麦迪逊 别转移我注意力 我不是小孩 |
| [05:03] | Of course you’re not! Anyway, that is my kit. | 你当然不是 总之 这是我的应急包 |
| [05:05] | I missed going on that trip | 我没能去成 |
| [05:06] | because I couldn’t find my passport. | 就因为我找不到我的护照 |
| [05:08] | Why did you take it? | 你为什么要拿走 |
| [05:09] | Ugh. Fine. | 好吧 |
| [05:10] | You know how you said things always ‘somehow’ work out for you? | 你刚才说 “不知为何”事情总是很顺利 |
| [05:14] | Meet Somehow. It’s me. | 来见见”不知为何” 就是我 |
| [05:16] | Behind the scenes, pulling the strings, | 幕后工作 暗中主使 |
| [05:18] | making sure all my precious little dolls stay in mint condition. | 确保我所有的宝贝娃娃完好无损 |
| [05:21] | Well, I’m gonna draw the line at precious dolls. | 我对宝贝娃娃有意见 |
| [05:24] | I’d just like to point out | 我想指出 |
| [05:25] | that someone’s being weirder than I am right now. | 有人现在比我还古怪 |
| [05:27] | Whatever. Look, I intervene to keep you safe from time to time. | 随便了 我时不时地干涉是为了保护你的安全 |
| [05:29] | Time to time? When else have you done this? | 时不时 你还在什么时候这么做过 |
| [05:33] | Madison, tell me when else you’ve done this, | 麦迪逊 告诉我你还在什么时候这么做过 |
| [05:36] | or the La Mer’s gonna get it. | 不然我就把你的海蓝之谜倒掉 |
| [05:38] | You wouldn’t! It’s a mini and it’s still $300 a jar! | 你敢 这是迷你版的 但还是要300美元一瓶 |
| [05:42] | Just tell her! Just tell her! | 告诉她吧 |
| [05:45] | All right! All right. | 行 行 |
| [05:49] | I took the Dan Hackett glove. | 我拿走了丹·哈克特手套 |
| [05:51] | Okay, shut your mouth and start talking. | 闭上嘴 开始说话 |
| [06:00] | Here. Happy? | 拿去 满意了吗 |
| [06:01] | Okay, what’s going on with this glove? | 这个手套怎么回事 |
| [06:03] | – Look, I can explain- – I find people talking about stories | -我能解释 -我觉得人们谈论 |
| [06:06] | I’m not a part of to be very triggering of middle school. | 我不知情的事情 会让我回想起初中 |
| [06:09] | You’re literally going to find out this second. | 不是马上就要告诉你了吗 |
| [06:10] | So, we went on this ski trip last year | 我们去年去滑雪 |
| [06:12] | and got stuck on this chair lift | 困在了观光缆车上 |
| [06:14] | with this guy Stella thought was nice. | 旁边有个史黛拉觉得超棒的男人 |
| [06:16] | But we didn’t have our phones, | 但我们没带手机 |
| [06:17] | so he wrote his number on Stella’s glove. | 于是他就在史黛拉手套上写了电话号码 |
| [06:18] | Which I thought I lost. But if the glove fits… | 我以为我弄丢了 但如果这手套合身的话 |
| [06:21] | I just had a teeny tiny nagging feeling | 我当时有很微小的不详感觉 |
| [06:23] | that the guy was 100% a sociopath. | 他是百分百的反社会人士 |
| [06:24] | He was unbelievably sweet. | 他超级体贴 |
| [06:27] | You just have to trust me on this. | 在这事上你得相信我 |
| [06:28] | No. I don’t trust you on this. | 不 在这事上我不相信你 |
| [06:30] | You don’t make my decisions for me. Okay? I am a grown woman. | 你不能为我做决定 好吗 我是成年女性 |
| [06:33] | And my decisions will be made solely by the universe. | 我的决定只能由宇宙帮我做 |
| [06:36] | In fact, I’m gonna call him right now | 实际上 我现在就要给他打电话 |
| [06:38] | and invite him to pregame with us before Santa-Con tomorrow. | 邀请他来参加明天圣诞老人大会之前的活动 |
| [06:40] | At my home?! Oh, you are not! | 来我家 休想 |
| [06:42] | Too late. It’s already ringing. | 太晚了 已经拨通了 |
| [06:44] | So, are we, like, married to the Santa-Con plan? | 我们是嫁给了圣诞老人大会计划吗 |
| [06:47] | Because that’s Jeremy’s | 因为这是杰瑞米 |
| [06:48] | absolute favorite Christmas-themed bar crawl, | 最爱的圣诞主题串酒吧活动 |
| [06:50] | and I really don’t want to run into him. | 我不想碰到他 |
| [06:52] | I mean, what if he’s there with a girl? | 要是他和别的女生在一起怎么办 |
| [06:53] | We’re going. Look, this is a class-A Gram-able event, | 我们去定了 这是顶级拍照活动 |
| [06:57] | and the only girls at Santa-Con | 你唯一需要担心 |
| [06:59] | you need to worry about are in this room. | 参加圣诞老人大会的女生都在这屋子里 |
| [07:00] | I mean, and if you do run into Jeremy, | 如果你真的碰到了杰瑞米 |
| [07:02] | it’ll be under the best possible circumstances– | 那也是在最棒的情况下 |
| [07:05] | surrounded by your best friends, lookin’ like sexy Santas. | 周围是挚友 个个打扮得像性感圣诞老人 |
| [07:08] | Look, we will protect you. | 我们会保护你的 |
| [07:11] | For some reason | 不知为何 |
| [07:12] | that room-temp supermarket sushi isn’t sitting right. | 之前吃的超市室温寿司让我肚子不太舒服 |
| [07:26] | Kitchen! Get in here! | 厨房 进来 |
| [07:30] | Pretty good, right? | 很棒吧 |
| [07:31] | Did you start drinking before we got here? | 你在我们来之前就开始喝了吗 |
| [07:34] | Maybe. | 也许 |
| [07:35] | Wow, Izzy! | 伊兹 |
| [07:38] | You look… | 你看上去 |
| [07:40] | …specific. | 很具体 |
| [07:41] | I’m Hanukkah Harry. | 我是光明节哈利 |
| [07:42] | That guy writing his number on the glove | 那个在手套上写号码的人给了我灵感 |
| [07:44] | inspired me to write my number on challah so I can do this. | 在鸡蛋面包上写上我的号码 我就可以这么干了 |
| [07:49] | Challah at ya girl. | 给你鸡蛋面包 |
| [07:52] | So, Stell, I see you came to your senses | 小黛 我看你还是想通了 |
| [07:54] | and decided not to invite Dan. | 没有邀请丹 |
| [07:55] | On the contrary, Dan’s on his way over, | 正好相反 丹已经在来的路上了 |
| [07:58] | and my senses are nowhere to be found. | 我已经没有理智了 |
| [08:00] | You know what? | 知道吗 |
| [08:02] | This is gonna be a fun learning experience. | 这会是次有趣的学习经历 |
| [08:04] | We can both learn what happens | 我们都会知道 |
| [08:05] | when I don’t step in to protect you. | 没有我来保护你会发生什么 |
| [08:06] | – I’m gonna propose a deal. – Hmm. I’m listening. | -我们来做个交易 -你说 |
| [08:10] | If at the end of the night you don’t agree with me | 如果今晚结束的时候 你仍然不同意我 |
| [08:12] | that Dan is a full psycho who should have been avoided, | 丹是一个应该回避的精神病 |
| [08:14] | I will never intervene in your life again. | 我就绝不再干涉你的生活 |
| [08:16] | But if I’m right, you have to make an earthquake kit. | 但如果我是对的 你就得准备一个地震应急包 |
| [08:21] | Fine. | 好 |
| [08:22] | And in the case | 那如果 |
| [08:23] | that you’re actually the full-blown psycho and Dan’s a sweet guy, | 证明你才是彻底的精神病而丹是个暖男 |
| [08:26] | what unbiased judge are we gonna have make that call? | 我们要让谁来做无偏见的裁判 |
| [08:31] | My grandma was sorority sisters with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, | 我外婆跟鲁斯·巴德·金斯伯格[大法官]是一个姐妹会的 |
| [08:34] | so in terms of being a judge, it’s, like, in my blood. | 所以我体内天生就流淌着法官的血液 |
| [08:41] | – Hi! – Oh, wow! Hi, Stella! | -嗨 -你好 史黛拉 |
| [08:44] | – You look amazing! – Thank you. Come on in. | -你真美 -谢谢 进来吧 |
| [08:47] | I was gonna bring you flowers, | 我本来想带花过来的 |
| [08:48] | but on the way over I met a homeless lady | 但是在路上我碰到了一个无家可归的女士 |
| [08:50] | – who seemed like she was having a bad day. – Oh, how sweet. | -看上去她今天过得不太顺 -你真好 |
| [08:53] | It looks like I didn’t get the “Dress like Santa” Memo. | 我好像没有收到”打扮成圣诞老人”的提醒 |
| [08:56] | Oh, Hanukkah Harry! I love that. | 光明节哈利 我喜欢 |
| [08:59] | I’m Dan, by the way. It’s nice to meet you. | 我是丹 很高兴认识你 |
| [09:01] | Shabbat shalom and enchanté. | 安息日平安 幸会 |
| [09:03] | Well, aren’t you two becoming fast friends. | 你们俩这么快就熟络起来了 |
| [09:05] | Oh, Madison, I’m sure you remember Dan. | 麦迪逊 你肯定记得丹吧 |
| [09:08] | Yeah. It’s good to see you again. | 很高兴又见到你 |
| [09:10] | Your place is both awesome and amazing. | 你家漂亮又壮观 |
| [09:12] | Oh, I certainly do remember Dan. | 我当然记得丹 |
| [09:15] | From the acclaimed docudrama “Creating a Killer,” | 你有参演过广受赞誉的纪实电视剧《制造杀手》 |
| [09:17] | which investigated the brutal slaying of nursing student | 调查了一桩残忍的护理学生遇害一案 |
| [09:20] | – Lucy Gallagher on a blind date at Panera Bread. – Wait, what? | -露西·加拉格在帕尼拉面包店里相亲被杀 -什么 |
| [09:23] | Yeah, it’s true. It happened in my home town. | 是真的 发生在我家乡 |
| [09:25] | They even interviewed me for one episode as a random witness. | 他们有集让我作为随机目击者采访了我 |
| [09:28] | I guess it was my 15 minutes of fame. | 我想那算是我转瞬即逝的名气 |
| [09:30] | Oh, Dan, you’re being modest. | 丹 你太谦虚了 |
| [09:32] | I’m sure your new friend Izzy | 你的新朋友伊兹 |
| [09:33] | here would love to know more about the case. | 肯定想了解更多关于此案的事 |
| [09:35] | Which, to this day, remains unsolved. | 时至今日 那个案子还没侦破 |
| [09:37] | Well, as a non-partisan listener of this story, | 作为这个故事的无党派聆听者 |
| [09:41] | I’d love to know more details, please. | 我想知道更多细节 拜托了 |
| [09:43] | – Oh, we don’t have to- – The Bread Bowl Killing. | -我们不用 -面包汤杀戮 |
| [09:46] | An unidentified suspect joined Lucy at Panera Bread | 一个不明身份的嫌疑人和露西一起去了帕尼拉面包店 |
| [09:49] | where they shared a clam chowder bread bowl | 他们共享一份面包蛤蜊浓汤 |
| [09:51] | that sadly would be her last. | 很可惜也是她最后一次品尝 |
| [09:53] | Hours later, Lucy’s body was found dismembered | 几小时后 露西被肢解的尸体 |
| [09:56] | in a dumpster behind the restaurant. | 被发现于餐厅背后的垃圾箱里 |
| [09:57] | Oh, my God, that’s so gross! They were sharing soup? Ugh! | 我的天 好恶心 他们还共享一份汤 |
| [10:02] | Police have reason to believe | 警察有理由相信 |
| [10:03] | that the mystery man who ate from that doughy dish | 吃了那道黏稠浓汤的神秘男子 |
| [10:06] | is the very killer who sent her to her grain-based grave. | 正是将她送进谷物坟墓的杀手 |
| [10:09] | Madison, that’s what this is about? | 麦迪逊 原来是这样吗 |
| [10:11] | You’re seriously implying that Dan killed someone | 你根据你看过的一个谋杀节目 |
| [10:14] | based off of a murder show that you binged? | 暗示丹杀了人 |
| [10:16] | Look, Stella, it’s okay. I understand. | 史黛拉 没事 我理解 |
| [10:18] | People get really into these true crime stories. | 人们有时会沉迷于这些真实犯罪案件 |
| [10:21] | But since you brought it up, I actually have celiac disease. | 但既然你提起了 我其实有乳糜泻 |
| [10:24] | So, even the smallest amount of gluten | 即使是最微量的麸质 |
| [10:25] | will make me violently ill. | 也会让我生病 |
| [10:26] | Well, Dan, call me a superfan, but, uh… | 丹 就当我是铁粉吧 不过 |
| [10:30] | If you have celiac disease, then what was your car doing | 如果你有乳糜泻 那你的车当初 |
| [10:32] | outside of a Panera Bread in the first place? | 怎么会停在帕尼拉面包店外面 |
| [10:34] | They never explained it on the show. | 他们在节目里从未解释过 |
| [10:37] | Oh, well, I was just running errands. | 我是去办事 |
| [10:39] | You see, ever since my mom lost her second job, | 我妈妈失业之后 |
| [10:41] | I’ve had to pick up the slack around the house | 我就只能挑起家里的担子 |
| [10:43] | and help out with my mee-moo. That’s my Grandma. | 帮忙照顾我阿姥 就是我外婆 |
| [10:45] | Are you a living angel? | 你简直是小天使 |
| [10:47] | That’s right, Iz. | 没错 伊兹 |
| [10:48] | You could say that | 你可以说 |
| [10:49] | Dan embodies the Christmas spirit and all things good. | 丹代表着圣诞精神和一切美好 |
| [10:52] | I mean, thank goodness I called him to reconnect. | 我真庆幸我重新联系了他 |
| [10:55] | I’ll cheers to that. | 我想为此举杯 |
| [10:56] | Why don’t we have some of these egg nog shots? | 不如我们喝点蛋奶酒吧 |
| [10:59] | I’m gonna go see where Jules is. | 我去看看茱尔斯到哪儿了 |
| [11:01] | – More for us. – Yeah! | -那我们多喝点 -好啊 |
| [11:07] | – Hello? – Jules? | -喂 -茱尔斯 |
| [11:10] | Where are you? | 你在哪儿呢 |
| [11:11] | I’m sorry. I had to drop off a gift basket | 抱歉 我得帮公司跑个腿 |
| [11:13] | at this silent auction charity thing at the museum for Woom. | 去给博物馆的无声拍卖慈善活动送礼品篮 |
| [11:17] | You know what? Now that I think about it, | 其实 我现在想一想 |
| [11:18] | it’s gonna take me, like, 45 minutes to get to you, | 我赶过去大概要45分钟 |
| [11:20] | so, maybe I should just head home after this. | 要不我完事之后就直接回家好了 |
| [11:23] | Oh, you are being so crazy! | 你疯了吗 |
| [11:25] | Look, I need you to help me convince Izzy to convince Stella | 我需要你帮我说服伊兹 让她说服史黛拉 |
| [11:27] | that Stella’s date is a murderer. | 史黛拉的男伴是个杀人犯 |
| [11:29] | I’m sorry. What were you saying about me being crazy? | 抱歉 你刚才说我怎么疯了 |
| [11:31] | Look, I’ll explain it all to you when you get here. | 等你到了我再跟你解释 |
| [11:33] | But trust me, you are not going to run into Jeremy at Santa-con. | 不过相信我 你在圣诞老人大会上不会撞到杰瑞米 |
| [11:36] | – Uh, you’re right. – Thanks. Wait, that was too easy. Why? | -你说得对 -谢谢 等等 你接受得好快 为什么 |
| [11:40] | Because he’s here. | 因为我看见他了 |
| [11:43] | With a girl. | 跟个女孩一起 |
| [12:03] | The last thing I just heard Jules say | 我最后听到茱尔斯说的话是 |
| [12:05] | is that her fuckboy ex-boyfriend | 她那个渣前任 |
| [12:06] | is on a fucking date at the museum. | 正跟一个女的在博物馆约会呢 |
| [12:08] | We’ve got to get downtown. Izzy, call a Lyft! | 我们得去市里 伊兹 快叫个车 |
| [12:11] | – Are you okay? – Yeah. | -你还好吗 -没事 |
| [12:13] | First, we get stuck on a ski lift, | 我们先是被困在滑雪缆车上 |
| [12:15] | and now the earth literally moves. | 现在整个地球都动了 |
| [12:16] | I must be your bad luck charm. | 我一定是你的扫把星 |
| [12:17] | Oh, I guess she has that in common with the late Lucy Gallagher, | 这样说来她和已故的露西·加拉格还有共同点 |
| [12:20] | who was just two credits shy from getting her nursing degree. | 她只差两个学分就能拿到护士学位了 |
| [12:22] | Honestly, Madison, your memory for this stuff is incredible. | 说实话 麦迪逊 你对这事记得太清楚了 |
| [12:25] | Mmm, Madison’s like an elephant | 麦迪逊就像一头大象 |
| [12:27] | except a lot smaller and easier to harm. | 但是比大象小得多 而且也很好对付 |
| [12:30] | Okay, I got one. Outside in two minutes. Let’s go. | 我叫到了 2分钟到门口 走吧 |
| [12:40] | Here for Izzy? | 伊兹叫的车吗 |
| [12:43] | Uh, what the fuck is that? | 这他妈是个什么东西 |
| [12:45] | – It’s a Lyft. – No, Lyfts have doors. | -你们叫的车 -车应该有门 |
| [12:48] | And engines. | 还有引擎 |
| [12:50] | And an aux cord. | 还有辅助音响 |
| [12:51] | Well, I’ll have you know this is registered with the app | 我可以负责任地说 这辆车在软件上有注册 |
| [12:53] | and technically meets all the requirements. | 而且符合上面的所有要求 |
| [12:55] | But if you want music, I do carol for tips. | 你要是想听音乐 给小费我能唱圣诞颂歌 |
| [12:58] | Izzy, cancel this asshole and get another car. | 伊兹 把这个混蛋取消了 再叫一辆 |
| [13:00] | It says no other cars are available. | 上面说没有其他可用车辆 |
| [13:02] | Is anyone sober enough to drive? | 有人清醒到能开车吗 |
| [13:04] | Looks like the earthquake | 好像因为地震 |
| [13:04] | took out all the traffic lights or something. | 所有交通灯都坏了 |
| [13:06] | It’s bumper-to-bumper out there. | 外面都堵得保险杠贴保险杠了 |
| [13:07] | Unless, of course, you don’t have a bumper. | 除非 车上没有保险杠 |
| [13:09] | Nice. Good one. | 漂亮 有才 |
| [13:13] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [13:17] | You guys, we’ve got to get Jules! Come on! | 我们得赶紧去接茱尔斯 上来吧 |
| [13:23] | Well, Mrs. Claus, looks like I’m your Christmas miracle. | 克劳斯女士 看来我是你的圣诞奇迹 |
| [13:28] | This is fun. | 真有意思 |
| [13:34] | Is this seriously how fast it goes? | 这就是最快速度了吗 |
| [13:44] | Jules, talk to me. What’s happening? | 茱尔斯 跟我说说 情况如何 |
| [13:45] | Oh, you know, not much. | 就那样 没什么 |
| [13:47] | My ex-boyfriend is on a date | 我的前男友带着一位女伴 |
| [13:48] | with an individual I can | 而这位女伴 |
| [13:50] | only assume is a Victoria’s Secret Model, | 身材好得像维密模特一样 |
| [13:51] | and there was a giant earthquake | 而且因为发生了大地震 |
| [13:53] | that caused the museum to go into emergency lock-down. | 博物馆已经进入了紧急封锁状态 |
| [13:56] | Also, I’m dressed like a mall Santa. | 还有 我穿得很像商场圣诞老人 |
| [13:58] | A mall Santa? | 商场圣诞老人 |
| [14:00] | What happened to the costume I sent you a link for? | 我发你链接的那件衣服呢 |
| [14:02] | Well, I opened the link | 我打开看了 |
| [14:03] | but then I got this one instead because it had pockets. | 但我后来买了这件 因为有口袋 |
| [14:06] | It’s a fucking disaster. | 简直就是灾难现场 |
| [14:07] | Okay, listen to me. It’s not that bad. | 听我说 情况没那么糟糕 |
| [14:09] | We’re on our way to you now. | 我们已经在去找你的路上了 |
| [14:11] | And in the meantime, find a place to hide, | 在这期间 你先找地方躲起来 |
| [14:12] | and we’ll be there soon. | 我们很快就到 |
| [14:28] | The male of the species would choose | 族群中的雄性会选择 |
| [14:30] | the most desirable mate for reproduction, | 最有吸引力的雌性繁殖后代 |
| [14:34] | leaving the less desirable females | 让不够有魅力的雌性 |
| [14:36] | outside the protection of the tribe. | 脱离族群的保护 |
| [14:47] | – Where are you going? – I’m exploring. | -你要去哪儿 -我在探索 |
| [14:51] | Are you trying to get us in trouble? | 你是想给我们惹麻烦吗 |
| [14:54] | If you set off an alarm, I’m running for it. | 要是触碰了警报 我肯定第一个跑 |
| [14:56] | You wouldn’t! | 你不会的 |
| [14:58] | – Can you run in those heels? – Watch me! | -你穿着这高跟鞋能跑吗 -走着瞧 |
| [15:05] | – Hey, come back here! – Never! | -快回来 -我不要 |
| [15:09] | Looks like we’re definitely missing our dinner reservations. | 这下晚餐预约肯定赶不上了 |
| [15:11] | Well, at least we’re getting a private tour. | 至少我们可以来一场私人参观 |
| [15:16] | So, what should we do now? | 那现在干什么呢 |
| [15:19] | the building block of the vertebrae organism. | 脊椎生物[高潮]的构成要素 |
| [15:22] | Ugh, this can’t be happening! | 不是吧 |
| [15:24] | – I know. It’s crazy, right? – What? | -确实很疯狂对吧 -什么 |
| [15:29] | You and your wife need to get back to the main lobby! | 你和你妻子得赶紧回大厅去 |
| [15:32] | It’s only been a month, but message received. | 我们刚在一起一个月 但是懂你意思了 |
| [15:33] | Well, you’re obviously a great couple, | 你们看起来很般配 |
| [15:35] | but we’re rounding everyone up for a head count. | 但是我们要把大家集合起来 点人数 |
| [16:06] | I’m sorry, Stella. I have to give this one to Izzy. | 抱歉 史黛拉 这个我得让给伊兹 |
| [16:08] | Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” | 玛丽亚·凯莉的《圣诞节我只想要你》 |
| [16:10] | is my number one holiday jam. | 是我最喜欢的圣诞歌曲 |
| [16:11] | Marry him. | 快嫁给他 |
| [16:13] | Madison, I’m sure this must be hard for you. | 麦迪逊 我知道你一定很难接受 |
| [16:15] | But just think of it this way: | 你可以这样想 |
| [16:17] | you don’t have to get me a Christmas gift this year. | 你今年不用给我送圣诞礼物了 |
| [16:19] | Because winning this bet is the only thing I want. | 因为赢得这场赌约是我的唯一愿望 |
| [16:21] | – Oh, look what I have here! – Is it the Mariah video? | -你猜我找到了什么 -是玛丽亚的视频吗 |
| [16:25] | No, actually. It’s a list of retailers | 不是 是帕尼拉面包零售商场里 |
| [16:27] | in the Panera Bread strip mall | 所有商铺的名单 |
| [16:28] | where Dan’s car was mysteriously parked. | 因为当时丹的车很巧地停在了那里 |
| [16:30] | You were doing errands, right? | 你说你是去办事的 对吗 |
| [16:32] | Let’s see, there’s Sassy Nails, Stubby’s Dog Wash and Groomer, | 我看看 有时尚美甲 斯塔比爱犬洗浴美容中心 |
| [16:37] | and Chuck E. Cheese. | 以及查克芝士 |
| [16:39] | Okay, we’re gonna need to make a quick stop | 好了 我们得绕个路 |
| [16:41] | to the nearest mental hospital. | 去最近的精神病院 |
| [16:42] | It’s okay, Stella. It was so many years ago. | 没关系 史黛拉 那是多年前的事了 |
| [16:45] | Nobody can remember | 谁能记得几年前 |
| [16:46] | what errands they run a couple of years ago, right? | 自己跑腿办了什么事情 |
| [16:48] | Well, those are all the stores, Dan. | 可店铺只有这么多 丹 |
| [16:50] | And I guess I just find it hard to believe | 也许我只是很难相信 |
| [16:51] | that you don’t remember | 你难道真的记不住 |
| [16:53] | getting a pedicure, owning a dog, or having a child. | 去美甲 养了一只狗 或是有个孩子 |
| [16:56] | Unless, of course, you were lying | 除非 你在声称自己 |
| [16:57] | about not being at Panera Bread. | 没去帕尼拉面包一事上撒了谎 |
| [16:59] | I don’t know. What do you think, Izzy? | 我说不好 你觉得呢 伊兹 |
| [17:01] | You do make a lot of strong points. | 你说得确实很有道理 |
| [17:03] | Izzy, what happened to “Marry him”? | 伊兹 你刚才不是还让我”嫁给他” |
| [17:05] | Well, nine times out of ten, it’s the husband who did it. | 毕竟老婆出事 十有八九是老公干的 |
| [17:16] | Not a breathable fabric. | 这个布料真不透气 |
| [17:23] | Oh, my God! I look like a mess! | 天哪 我看起来糟透了 |
| [17:27] | Do I look terrible? | 我现在是不是很丑 |
| [17:28] | You? Uh, no, you don’t look terrible. | 你吗 不 你完全不丑 |
| [17:32] | You look upsettingly attractive. | 你看起来令人苦恼地好看 |
| [17:34] | Really? I mean… | 真的吗… |
| [17:36] | I borrowed this dress from my roommate the last minute. | 我是临时从室友那儿借来的一条裙子 |
| [17:38] | You know when you just don’t feel good in what you’re wearing? | 有时候就感觉身上的衣服穿着不舒服 |
| [17:44] | I suppose I can imagine what that feels like. | 我大概可以想象得到那种感觉 |
| [17:46] | You know, I think I’m just nervous, | 也许我只是很紧张 |
| [17:48] | ’cause I’m dating this guy that I really like | 因为我是跟一个很喜欢的男生来的 |
| [17:49] | and I got tickets for this thing through work. | 这是我靠工作关系拿到的票 |
| [17:52] | And I was just worried he was gonna think this was really lame, | 我之前还担心他会觉得这种活动很逊 |
| [17:54] | but he’s been really sweet about coming to this thing. | 但他一直很开心陪我过来 |
| [17:57] | And then we get trapped here because of an earthquake? | 结果我们因为地震被困在里面 |
| [17:59] | I mean, what are the chances? | 这也太巧了吧 |
| [18:02] | Astronomically low, and yet, somehow, | 可能性极低 但是不知为何 |
| [18:05] | this is the situation which we find ourselves. | 我们的确是陷入了这样的境地 |
| [18:07] | You know, it’s just really nice to be dating a guy | 你知道吗 能跟一个很想去博物馆 |
| [18:09] | who’s, like, excited to come to a museum | 而不是在运动酒吧喝个烂醉的男人约会 |
| [18:12] | instead of getting drunk in a sports bar or something, you know? | 感觉真的很好 |
| [18:16] | He was? | 他很想去吗 |
| [18:20] | Yeah, that’s… definitely unexpected. | 这可真是 万万没有想到 |
| [18:23] | I should go. I don’t want him to think I’m pooping. | 我得走了 不想让他觉得我在拉屎 |
| [18:30] | Thank you… so… much. Ha! | 真是太感谢你了 |
| [18:36] | Thank you for visiting the bathroom! | 谢谢你来厕所 |
| [18:40] | Where I work. | 这是我的工作地点 |
| [18:44] | And if you look to your right, | 朝右侧看 |
| [18:45] | you’ll see LA’s famous La Brea Tar Pits. | 就能看到洛杉矶著名的拉布雷亚沥青池 |
| [18:51] | Okay, Jules, what’s the situation? | 茱尔斯 情况如何 |
| [18:52] | Well, I’m still trapped in this museum, | 我还是被困在博物馆里 |
| [18:55] | trapped in an alternate reality where Jeremy likes museums, | 被困在杰瑞米喜欢博物馆的第二现实里 |
| [18:58] | trapped in a layer of polyester | 被困在一身 |
| [18:59] | designed for outdoor gift distribution, | 用于在室外分发礼物的涤纶服装里 |
| [19:02] | not to mention they have the fucking Sherlock Holmes | 更别说他们还派了神探夏洛克级别的 |
| [19:04] | of museum security guards hunting down stragglers. | 安保人员到处搜寻落单的人 |
| [19:07] | It’s only a matter of time before Jeremy sees me like this. | 杰瑞米迟早会看到我这打扮 |
| [19:10] | Okay, Jules, I am not gonna let that happen. | 好了 茱尔斯 不会那样的 |
| [19:12] | Now, where are you and what do we have to work with? | 你在哪里 身边有什么资源 |
| [19:19] | Uh, let’s see… fossil kits, astronaut ice cream, | 我看看 化石工具包 宇航员冰淇淋 |
| [19:24] | scissors where the handle is a dinosaur’s mouth. | 把手是恐龙嘴的剪刀 |
| [19:27] | Okay, I think I’ve seen enough | 我看了很多期《天桥风云》 |
| [19:28] | “Project Runway” to get you through this. | 应该可以帮你渡过这次难关 |
| [19:30] | Now, here’s what you have to do. | 我告诉你怎么做 |
| [20:14] | Jules, hi! | 茱尔斯 |
| [20:16] | Hey, Jeremy. How’s it going? | 杰瑞米 过得好吗 |
| [20:19] | Miss, you’re being detained | 女士 你已被拘留 |
| [20:20] | for looting during a museum disaster. | 原因是在博物馆灾难中掠夺物品 |
| [20:22] | Whoa. What are you doing? She works here! | 你在干什么 她是这里的员工 |
| [20:26] | Nice to see you again. | 很高兴再次见到你 |
| [20:29] | Knees up, reindeer. | 加油踩 麋鹿 |
| [20:32] | I’ve gone nine miles! | 我已经骑了九英里 |
| [20:33] | Nine down and one to go. | 骑了九英里 还差一英里 |
| [20:35] | If anyone needs provisions, I’ve got challah to spare. | 要是有人需要补给 我有鸡蛋面包 |
| [20:38] | Don’t worry. The permanent marker is okay to eat. | 别担心 马克笔是可食用的 |
| [20:41] | Izzy, stop stalling. | 伊兹 别拖延时间了 |
| [20:43] | It’s time to come down with a verdict | 现在你已经 |
| [20:44] | now that you’ve had a chance to review | 看到了极具说服力的证据 |
| [20:45] | the unbelievably convincing evidence. | 你应该有裁决结果了 |
| [20:47] | – Did you say “Verdict”? – Jesus, Madison. | -你是说了”裁决结果”吗 -天哪 麦迪逊 |
| [20:49] | I almost wish he did kill someone just to get you to shut up. | 我简直希望他真的杀了人 就为了让你闭嘴 |
| [20:52] | For the record, I haven’t killed anyone. | 声明一下 我没有杀人 |
| [20:54] | Oh, I will happily shut up when I win the bet and | 等我赢了赌约 我会很开心地闭嘴 |
| [20:56] | watch you put together your earthquake kit. | 然后看着你准备地震应急包 |
| [20:58] | Well you know what? I won’t even need an earthquake kit | 你知道吗 等我明年搬去东海岸 |
| [21:00] | when I move to the East Coast next year. | 我根本不需要地震应急包了 |
| [21:03] | What the hell are you talking about? | 你在说什么 |
| [21:04] | I applied to a bunch of business schools on the East Coast. | 我申请了东海岸的几所工商学院 |
| [21:06] | So, if I get in, I’m moving. | 如果录取了 就会搬过去 |
| [21:08] | Wait, how could you not tell me that? | 这么大的事你怎么能不告诉我呢 |
| [21:09] | Because you always try to control everything I do in my life | 因为你总是想掌控我生活里做的每件事 |
| [21:12] | because you think I’m an idiot. | 因为你觉得我是个蠢货 |
| [21:13] | Sorry, that’s not the vote of confidence I needed | 抱歉 我不想听到这样打击自信的话 |
| [21:15] | when I’m already worried enough about getting in. | 尤其是我很忐忑地在等结果的时候 |
| [21:17] | Um, guys? | 各位 |
| [21:18] | Of course I don’t think you’re an idiot. | 我当然不觉得你是蠢货 |
| [21:19] | Look, I think you’re amazing. | 我觉得你非常优秀 |
| [21:21] | The reason I intervene is | 我之所以会干涉 |
| [21:22] | because if something were to happen to you | 是因为如果你出了什么事 |
| [21:24] | that I could have prevented, I wouldn’t be okay. | 而我本可以阻止的话 我不会原谅自己 |
| [21:26] | Guys! | 各位 |
| [21:27] | I know it makes you feel good to be in control of everything, | 我知道你很喜欢掌控一切的感觉 |
| [21:29] | but if you just trusted yourself a little bit more, | 但是如果你能更信任自己一点 |
| [21:31] | you wouldn’t have to worry so much. | 你就不用担心这么多事了 |
| [21:32] | Guys! | 快看啊 |
| [21:37] | Uh, Dan? What are you doing? | 丹 你在干什么 |
| [21:41] | Well, I just figured this is a bit of a friendship tiff, | 我觉得这是一场关于友谊的争吵 |
| [21:43] | so I’m just gonna give you some space | 所以我想给你们一点空间 |
| [21:45] | and let you guys work it out. | 让你们彼此沟通清楚 |
| [21:47] | I thought you said you had celiac disease. | 你不是说你有乳糜泻吗 |
| [21:49] | And that’s why you couldn’t be the Bread Bowl Killer. | 所以你不可能是面包汤杀手 |
| [21:53] | Stella, come on. I was just absent‐mindedly having some. | 史黛拉 我只是刚才走神才吃了一点 |
| [21:57] | You know, absent‐minded bread. | 这属于走神面包 |
| [22:00] | Seriously, I didn’t even realize I was eating. | 说真的 我都没反应过来我在吃东西 |
| [22:03] | – You guys are being crazy! – No one is being crazy. | -你们太夸张了 -我们谁都没夸张 |
| [22:06] | We’re all being very calm. | 我们都非常冷静 |
| [22:08] | Why are you guys acting so scared? | 你们为什么看起来这么害怕 |
| [22:10] | I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t kill anyone. | 我没做错事 我没杀人 |
| [22:13] | I mean, look at me. | 你们看看我 |
| [22:13] | Do I look like somebody who could kill someone? | 我看起来像是杀人犯的样子吗 |
| [22:21] | All right. All right, fine. | 好吧 我说 |
| [22:23] | Madison, you were right. I did know where I was that night. | 麦迪逊 你说得对 我知道那晚我在哪里 |
| [22:26] | You wanna know the truth? Huh? | 你想知道真相吗 |
| [22:28] | You want that confession you’ve been angling for all day? | 你想要等了一天的坦白吗 |
| [22:33] | I wasn’t there that night. | 那天晚上我不在那 |
| [22:35] | Because I was masturbating in my car. | 因为我在车里自慰 |
| [22:39] | – I’m sorry, did you just say‐ – Look, the Panera Bread, right? | -等等 你是说… -帕尼拉面包对吗 |
| [22:41] | You said there was a Chuck E. Cheese. | 你说那里有一家查克芝士 |
| [22:42] | Dan, don’t say anything you might regret. | 丹 别说你会后悔的话 |
| [22:46] | I have a very normal fetish. | 我有个很正常的癖好 |
| [22:48] | In fact, there’s hundreds of us in my Reddit group. | 实际上 我的Reddit群组里有好多这样的人 |
| [22:50] | – Oh, Jesus! – What is happening? | -天哪 -这是什么情况 |
| [22:52] | I am sexually attracted to mascot characters. | 卡通人偶会让我性奋 |
| [22:56] | There. I said it. | 我说出来了 |
| [22:58] | That’s my big secret. | 这就是我的大秘密 |
| [23:00] | So, you see, I couldn’t have killed Lucy. | 懂了吗 露西不可能是我杀的 |
| [23:02] | Because I was in my car parked outside of a Chuck E. Cheese | 因为我的车停在查克芝士门外 |
| [23:05] | pleasuring myself to completion. | 而我在车里自慰 |
| [23:08] | Feels really good to share that with you guys. | 能跟大家分享这件事 我很开心 |
| [23:10] | Thank you for not judging me. | 谢谢你们没有对我评头论足 |
| [23:13] | Anyway, I really can’t wait to meet your friend, Jules. | 话说回来 我很期待认识你的朋友茱尔斯 |
| [23:20] | I’m really not supposed to let you do this. | 我真的不能让你这样 |
| [23:22] | – She’s got it. – Soul Cycle. First row, baby! | -她没问题 -灵魂动感单车 第一排 |
| [23:26] | – Time to save our girl. – And tap it back! | -该去救我们的朋友了 -向后踩 |
| [23:33] | Excuse me, do you know where the nearest Build‐a‐Bear is? | 不好意思 你知道附近哪里有小熊礼品店吗 |
| [23:39] | Ma’am, it’s still America in here. | 女士 这里还是美国 |
| [23:41] | You promised me a phone call. | 你保证会让我打一通电话的 |
| [23:43] | Just me. | 是我 |
| [23:53] | Is that a… prison shiv? | 那是你 自制的刀吗 |
| [23:55] | This thing is cutting off the circulation to my wrists, okay? | 这东西阻断了我手腕的血液循环 好吗 |
| [23:58] | No, it’s… it’s very resourceful. | 不是 我觉得你很机智 |
| [24:00] | I just… I feel like I should be looking around for toilet wine. | 我只是觉得 你是不是还弄了马桶红酒 |
| [24:04] | I’m sorry, did you come | 不好意思 请问你是 |
| [24:05] | all the way down here just to make fun of me? | 特意过来嘲笑我的吗 |
| [24:07] | I couldn’t resist a captive audience. | 我抵制不了被困听众的诱惑 |
| [24:09] | Okay. No, no, no, keep going. This is great. | 好吧 你继续说 我感觉挺好的 |
| [24:12] | I mean, running into you | 毕竟撞见你 |
| [24:13] | on a date with a supermodel wasn’t bad enough. | 和超模约会 还不够糟糕 |
| [24:19] | Jules, she’s not a supermodel. | 茱尔斯 她不是超模 |
| [24:21] | Aw, she’s not? | 不是吗 |
| [24:22] | Well, I mean, she’s a model, | 她确实是模特 |
| [24:23] | but it’s, like, mostly Instagram stuff. | 但主要是在Instagram上 |
| [24:25] | God, Jeremy. What are you even doing here? | 天哪 杰瑞米 你怎么会来这里 |
| [24:28] | I thought if I was gonna run into you it would be at SantaCon. | 我以为要撞见你也会是在圣诞老人大会上 |
| [24:31] | Was that today? I… | 是今天吗 我… |
| [24:35] | – You really wanted to go? – I really, really wanted to go, yeah. | -你很想去 -对 我很想去 |
| [24:39] | Why are you at a museum charity event? | 那你为什么会来参加博物馆慈善活动 |
| [24:41] | You hate this kind of thing. | 你明明很讨厌这些 |
| [24:43] | I’m here because of February 3rd. | 我来这里是因为2月3日 |
| [24:47] | – February 3rd? – Yeah, free museum day. You remember? | -2月3日 -对 博物馆免费开放日 记得吗 |
| [24:51] | You made a huge deal about how all the museums in L. A. are free | 你之前跟我说洛杉矶所有博物馆都免费 |
| [24:54] | and you really wanted us to go, | 你很想跟我一起去 |
| [24:56] | but then Cam had people over | 结果那天卡姆叫了人来 |
| [24:58] | for beer pong and we did that instead. | 玩啤酒桌球 于是就玩了那个 |
| [25:01] | You didn’t say anything, but I could tell you were bummed and… | 你当时没说什么 但我知道你不开心 |
| [25:06] | I always felt guilty about that so when | 这件事让我一直很内疚 |
| [25:09] | Melyssa asked me to go to this thing, I just… | 所以梅丽莎叫我参加这个的时候 我就… |
| [25:13] | I don’t know, I just thought I should… | 我也不知道 就是觉得我应该 |
| [25:16] | try harder than I used to. | 比之前更努力一点 |
| [25:20] | I didn’t realize you felt bad about that. | 我不知道你居然一直内疚着 |
| [25:23] | Wait. Why were you gonna be at SantaCon? | 等等 你为什么要去圣诞老人大会 |
| [25:26] | I guess ’cause of February 3rd. | 我想大概是因为2月3日 |
| [25:28] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [25:30] | That was the day I shouldn’t have watched my boyfriend | 那天我不应该看着我男朋友 |
| [25:33] | play beer pong with his friends | 跟他朋友们玩啤酒桌球 |
| [25:34] | and just called my friends and gone to a museum with them. | 应该打给我的朋友 约她们一起去博物馆 |
| [25:37] | – She’s got this. – Yeah, she does. | -她可以应付 -没错 |
| [25:40] | Instead, I neglected them and resented you. | 可我却忽略了她们 还很恨你 |
| [25:45] | So, that’s why SantaCon. | 所以我选择去圣诞老人大会 |
| [25:49] | Well, I’m happy for you. | 我很为你开心 |
| [25:54] | Yeah. Me too. | 我也是 |
| [25:56] | – All right, ma’am. – Jules‐‐ | -女士 -茱尔斯 |
| [25:58] | Don’t say a word. If you don’t release this woman right now, | 你什么都别说 如果你不立刻释放她 |
| [26:02] | you are sitting on the biggest museum PR disaster | 你将面临一场博物馆公关灾难 |
| [26:05] | since the Vandermeer Gallery | 其严重程度比得上当年 |
| [26:06] | tried to cover the breasts in a Picasso. | “范德梅尔画廊试图遮挡毕加索画作里胸部”事件 |
| [26:08] | She was bringing gifts to a charity fundraiser at Christmastime! | 她可是在圣诞月里给慈善活动送礼物的好人 |
| [26:12] | This is a war on charity, a war on giving! | 你这是在向慈善宣战 向给予宣战 |
| [26:16] | And it’s a Starbucks‐red‐cupping, happy‐holidays‐saying, | 这相当于星巴克用红杯 不说节日祝福 |
| [26:20] | carol‐censoring, Santa‐slaying war on Christmas! | 不唱圣诞颂歌 残杀圣诞老人 在向圣诞宣战 |
| [26:23] | I also left 40 bucks on the gift shop counter. | 我还在礼品店柜台上放了40块钱 |
| [26:26] | Oh, you did? Well, that stuff doesn’t cost 40 bucks. | 是吗 哪些东西根本不值40 |
| [26:29] | You’re free to go. We’ll send you your change. | 你可以走了 我们会把零钱找给你 |
| [26:43] | It was good running into you. | 撞见你很好 |
| [26:58] | – Hey, you good? – Yeah, I’m good. | -你还好吗 -挺好的 |
| [27:02] | But thank you, guys, for coming to get me in this, uh, not‐a‐car. | 不过谢谢你们来接我 用这辆”不是车”的车 |
| [27:07] | – Of course! – Ugh, today has been insane. | -不用客气 -今天简直跌宕起伏 |
| [27:09] | But what matters is we survived. | 不过重点是我们都好好的 |
| [27:12] | Everyone except for Lucy Gallagher, may she rest in peace. | 除了露西·加拉格 愿她安息 |
| [27:16] | – Wait. Who? – The Bread Bowl Killer. | -你说谁 -面包汤杀手案件 |
| [27:18] | The brutal slaying of | 在帕尼拉面包店 |
| [27:19] | nursing student Lucy Gallagher at Panera Bread, | 一名护理学生露西·加拉格被残忍杀害 |
| [27:21] | which to this day remains unsolved. | 这宗案件至今没有被侦破 |
| [27:23] | – An unidentified suspect‐ – Hey, can you stop with that? | -未知嫌疑人… -你能不能别说了 |
| [27:25] | Oh, you’re just mad because I won. | 你只是因为我赢了而不爽 |
| [27:27] | Someone catch me up here. | 谁给我补一下前情 |
| [27:28] | It’s really just that classic case of masturbation vs. Murder | 就是判断一个人到底是好是坏的时候 |
| [27:33] | when you’re trying to decide if a guy is a good person or not. | 典型的”自慰还是谋杀”情景 |