| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:23] | Hey, Allison, Allison, Allison. | 艾莉森 艾莉森 艾莉森 |
| [00:30] | Did my stapler do something wrong? | 我的订书机犯了什么错吗 |
| [00:32] | Celeste wants us to throw away | 西莱丝特想让我们扔掉 |
| [00:33] | everything in the office that doesn’t spark joy. | 办公室里所有不能激发喜悦的东西 |
| [00:35] | My stapler doesn’t have to spark joy, it just has to staple. | 我的订书机不用激发喜悦 只需要订书 |
| [00:39] | I’m just not feeling anything. | 我什么都感觉不到 |
| [00:41] | How am I supposed to | 没有鼠标 |
| [00:42] | design the homepage layout without my mouse? | 我要怎么设计主页布局 |
| [00:46] | Uh, joy, radiating joy. | 喜悦 散发喜悦 |
| [00:48] | Happiness with every click. | 每次点击都带着快乐 |
| [00:49] | Ooh, happy, joy. | 快乐 喜悦 |
| [00:54] | Okay, speaking of your mouse, | 说到你的鼠标 |
| [00:55] | I need your help with the computer thing. | 我需要你帮我处理点电脑的事 |
| [00:57] | This is Woöm’s new energy‐clearing facial spray, | 这是乌姆的新清洁能源面部喷雾 |
| [01:00] | Tidal Climax. | 潮极 |
| [01:02] | Yeah, I know, I’m featuring‐‐ | 我知道 我… |
| [01:04] | – Can you smell that? ‐ I can taste it. | -你能闻到吗 -我能尝到 |
| [01:06] | Celeste would love it if you could upload the smell to the site | 你要是能把这味道上传到网站上 供顾客试闻的话 |
| [01:09] | for customers to sample. | 西莱丝特会很高兴的 |
| [01:10] | She wants me to upload a smell into the computer? | 她想让我把一个味道上传到电脑里 |
| [01:14] | Yes. She read an article | 是的 她看了一篇文章 |
| [01:16] | about how that technology is being developed. | 提到有人正在研发相关科技 |
| [01:18] | Right, but it doesn’t exist yet. | 嗯 但是现在还没有 |
| [01:19] | But you could use like a plug‐in | 但你可以使用插件 |
| [01:21] | or an extension, maybe a widget. | 扩展 或者微件 |
| [01:23] | Oh, you should sunset a widget. | 你该定期废止微件 |
| [01:24] | Stop saying random computer terms. | 别再随便说一些电脑术语了 |
| [01:27] | Oh, I have to take this. | 我得接这通电话 |
| [01:30] | No! | 不要 |
| [01:31] | Hey, Madison. | 麦迪逊 |
| [01:32] | Jules, you’re coming with me tonight. | 茱尔斯 你今晚要跟我一起去 |
| [01:35] | Coming with you to what? | 去什么 |
| [01:36] | It’s finally happening, | 终于成了 |
| [01:37] | an event for my own client where I’m running point. | 我要给我的一个客户主办一次活动 |
| [01:39] | And out of everyone in my life, I want you by my side. | 我生活里那么多人 我想要你陪在我身边 |
| [01:42] | You don’t want me by your side. | 你不想要我陪在你身边 |
| [01:43] | I don’t even want me by my side. | 我都不想要我在我身边 |
| [01:44] | If I could attend large social events without me, I would. | 要是我能不带上自己参加大型社交活动 我会的 |
| [01:48] | It is the biggest night of my professional life | 这是我职业生涯里最重要的一晚 |
| [01:50] | and you’re gonna be there. | 你必须来 |
| [01:51] | It starts at 7:00, dress is formal casual. | 7点开始 着装要求是正式随意 |
| [01:53] | Those things are opposites. | 这是相反的要求吧 |
| [01:55] | Well, what are you wearing right now? | 你现在穿的是什么 |
| [01:57] | Jeans and a top. | 牛仔裤和上衣 |
| [01:58] | Are you doing that thing where you call a sweatshirt a top? | 你又把卫衣叫做上衣吗 |
| [02:00] | ‐ No. ‐ You’re coming. | -没有 -你得来 |
| [02:02] | Text me when you’re on your way. | 上路后给我发短信 |
| [02:04] | If there’s a single animal product in those puff pastries, | 如果那些酥饼里有哪怕一个动物产品 |
| [02:06] | I will burn this place to the ground. | 我就放火把这里给烧了 |
| [02:18] | Behind these doors awaits a spectacular array of options, | 等待在这些门后的是一系列引人入胜的选项 |
| [02:22] | but what will Jules end up doing tonight? | 但茱尔斯在最后会选择做什么呢 |
| [02:24] | The choice is in her hands on America’s favorite game show… | 决定权在她手中 欢迎来到全美最受欢迎的游戏节目 |
| [02:29] | Should She Go Out? | 《她该出去吗》 |
| [02:35] | Here’s the deal, Jules. | 规则是这样的 茱尔斯 |
| [02:36] | You can go to this stressful weeknight work party with Madison, | 你可以和麦迪逊去参加这个压力山大的工作派对 |
| [02:39] | or you can choose whatever’s behind door number one! | 你也可以选择一号门后面的东西 |
| [02:47] | Okay, I’ll take door number one. | 好吧 我选一号门 |
| [02:50] | Let’s see what she’s got. | 我们来看看她选到了什么 |
| [02:52] | Oh, tough break! | 倒霉 |
| [02:54] | Behind door number one is Amelia, | 一号门后面的是艾米莉亚 |
| [02:55] | a girl Madison meets tonight and replaces you with | 麦迪逊今晚将和她见面 她会取代你 |
| [02:58] | as her new best friend! | 成为她新的闺蜜 |
| [03:01] | But don’t worry, Jules, we’ll make you another deal. | 不过别担心 茱尔斯 我们再给你一个机会 |
| [03:04] | You can keep Amelia or take a gamble | 你可以保留艾米莉亚或者赌一把 |
| [03:06] | and see what’s behind door number two! | 看看二号门后面是什么 |
| [03:10] | Well, Amelia sounds like kind of a setback for me, | 艾米莉亚听上去对我来说是个挫折 |
| [03:13] | so… door number two. | 那就选二号门吧 |
| [03:16] | Oh, bad luck! | 运气不佳 |
| [03:18] | Looks like door number two is a debilitating case | 看样子二号门的选项更惨了 |
| [03:21] | of the fear of missing out! | 害怕错过 |
| [03:25] | ‐ Are any of these good options? – Don’t worry, Jules. | -这后面有好的选项吗 -别担心 茱尔斯 |
| [03:28] | We’ll make you one more deal. | 我们再给你一次机会 |
| [03:30] | You can stick with the FOMO | 你可以坚持害怕错过 |
| [03:32] | or check out what’s behind door number three! | 或者看看三号门 |
| [03:35] | Number three! Number three! | 三号门 三号门 |
| [03:37] | ‐ I mean, none of these are prizes‐‐ ‐ Door number three! | -这些都算不上是奖励 -三号门 |
| [03:41] | Oh, congratulations, Jules! | 恭喜 茱尔斯 |
| [03:44] | Behind door number three | 三号门后 |
| [03:45] | is an all‐expenses‐not‐paid trip | 是一次未包含开销的旅行 |
| [03:48] | to accompany Madison | 陪同麦迪逊 |
| [03:49] | to her weird vegan chef party! | 去参加她奇怪的素食厨师派对 |
| [03:53] | Wait, so I still have to go? | 等等 所以我还是得去吗 |
| [03:54] | – I‐ – That’s all the time we have, folks. | -我 -本期节目到此结束 各位 |
| [03:57] | Tune in tomorrow to see if a woman attends the baby shower | 明天同一时间 看一个女人是否要参加 |
| [04:00] | of a former coworker’s second kid on… | 她前同事第二个孩子的迎婴派对 一切尽在 |
| [04:04] | Should She Go Out? | 《她该出去吗》 |
| [04:22] | I’m torn. | 我好纠结 |
| [04:23] | Do we start by uploading the scent for Tidal Climax Algae Bloom | 我们要先上传潮极藻华气味 |
| [04:26] | or Tidal Climax Red Tide? | 还是潮极赤潮气味 |
| [04:29] | It’s a legitimate Sophie’s Choice. | 这真的就是《苏菲的抉择》 |
| [04:31] | Just to reiterate: 100% impossible either way. | 重申下 无论如何都绝不可能 |
| [04:35] | I wanna retry them and jot down more of my thoughts. | 我想再试试 把我的想法记录下来 |
| [04:38] | Oh, Alison threw away all the pens. | 艾莉森把所有钢笔都扔了 |
| [04:43] | Uh, you guys noodle on that. | 你们继续想 |
| [04:48] | Thank you so much for bringing me clothes. | 谢谢你带衣服过来 |
| [04:49] | There’s no way I’d get out of here in time to change. | 我可没时间离开这里去换衣服 |
| [04:51] | Oh, my God. Are you kidding? I love a good before‐and‐after. | 天 你搞笑吗 我最喜欢给人打扮了 |
| [04:54] | I brought everything I already had in my car. | 我把我车里的衣服都带来了 |
| [04:57] | Tahoe last weekend. | 上周末去太浩湖穿的 |
| [04:58] | Roller disco a few nights ago. | 前几个晚上去了轮滑迪斯科 |
| [05:02] | Third date. Think I might end it. | 第三次约会 我可能要分了 |
| [05:06] | Madison specifically picked me to go | 麦迪逊专门选了我 |
| [05:08] | to this big work event tonight with her, | 去陪她参加这个大型工作活动 |
| [05:10] | and I’m supposed to look nice. | 我得打扮得好看点 |
| [05:12] | Wait, the vegan chef book launch? | 等等 就是那个素食厨师新书发布会 |
| [05:14] | She invited me to that yesterday, but I said I couldn’t go. | 她昨天邀请了我 但我说我去不了 |
| [05:17] | Wait, Madison invited you first? | 等等 麦迪逊先邀请了你 |
| [05:19] | Okay, that was supposed to be a secret, | 这本该是秘密的 |
| [05:21] | so don’t tell her that I told you. | 所以别告诉她我跟你说了 |
| [05:23] | But it’s fine that I told you, | 不过我跟你说了也没事 |
| [05:25] | because we’re all such good friends. | 因为我们都是好朋友 |
| [05:26] | If it’s okay that you told me, | 如果你告诉我没事 |
| [05:27] | then why can’t Madison know I know? | 那为什么麦迪逊不能知道我知道 |
| [05:29] | And why aren’t you going? | 还有你为什么不去 |
| [05:30] | I’ll tell you, but it’s a secret, so you can’t tell Madison. | 我可以告诉你 但这是秘密 所以你不能告诉麦迪逊 |
| [05:33] | Can’t tell Madison like you couldn’t tell me? | 就像你不能告诉我那样不能告诉麦迪逊 |
| [05:35] | Or can’t tell Madison like I actually can’t tell her? | 还是像我真的不能告诉麦迪逊那样不能告诉她 |
| [05:37] | The former. | 前者 |
| [05:39] | The latter. Wait, can you tell me them again? | 后者 等等 你能再说一遍吗 |
| [05:41] | – Why couldn’t you go? – I said that I had food poisoning, okay, | -你为什么不去 -我说我食物中毒了 |
| [05:44] | but I’m really going to a secret party at Joey Lawrence’s house. | 但其实我是要去乔伊·劳伦斯家参加一个秘密派对 |
| [05:47] | Wait, the fact that you’re going is a secret? | 你要去参加派对这事是秘密 |
| [05:49] | Or the entire party is a secret? | 还是整个派对是个秘密 |
| [05:50] | Both. Joey’s having a group of his closest friends over | 都是 乔伊请了很多亲密朋友 |
| [05:54] | to announce that he’s dying. | 要宣布他快死了 |
| [05:56] | Oh, God, that’s awful. | 天 这么糟 |
| [05:58] | I know, it’s super tragic, | 是啊 很悲惨 |
| [05:59] | but, you know, if it’s gonna be his last party ever, | 但是 如果这会是他最后一次派对 |
| [06:02] | I feel personally obligated to have an incredible time. | 我感觉我有义务玩得开心 |
| [06:04] | Wait, how do you know Joey Lawrence? | 等等 你是怎么认识乔伊·劳伦斯的 |
| [06:06] | Well, there’s this group of Hollywood brothers, | 有很多好莱坞兄弟 |
| [06:07] | like the Jonas Brothers, the Hemsworths, the Lawrences‐‐ | 乔纳斯兄弟 海姆斯沃斯兄弟 劳伦斯兄弟 |
| [06:10] | they all get dinner once a month. I bartended for them once. | 他们每个月都会聚餐一次 我有次给他们做过酒保 |
| [06:14] | Oh, and the Hansons. They are wild. | 还有汉森兄弟 他们很狂野 |
| [06:17] | I guess I just feel a little funny keeping secrets from Madison‐‐ | 我就是觉得瞒着麦迪逊有点怪 |
| [06:20] | – And I am not wearing the boa. ‐ Of course not. | -我不要穿羽毛围巾 -当然不 |
| [06:23] | I don’t think you should ever keep secrets from friends. | 我觉得你永远不该对朋友隐瞒秘密 |
| [06:26] | Except for the times where it is extremely important that you do. | 除了你必须保密的时候 |
| [06:29] | – And you know the difference how? – You know, it’s like, | -你怎么知道区别的 -你懂的 |
| [06:31] | when you’re at a concert and a stranger offers you drugs. | 你去看演唱会的时候 一个陌生人给你毒品 |
| [06:33] | You should have to kind of feel out | 你得斟酌斟酌 |
| [06:35] | if it’s a good idea in the moment, | 当时该不该接受 |
| [06:36] | with really high stakes if you get it wrong. | 要是做了错误决定会造成很大风险 |
| [06:40] | Oh, my God. Party in the girls’ room. | 天啊 女厕所里的派对 |
| [06:43] | Hey, if either of you guys wanna join me tonight, | 如果你们谁想加入我今晚的活动 |
| [06:44] | I’m going to watch Pearl Harbor and then Serendipity | 我打算先看《珍珠港》然后看《缘分天注定》 |
| [06:47] | to test my theory that Kate Beckinsale’s aging in reverse. | 检测我关于凯特·贝金赛尔在逆生长的理论 |
| [06:50] | Um, well, I have to go to a work party with Madison. | 我得和麦迪逊去参加一个工作派对 |
| [06:52] | Fun. I love costume parties. | 有意思 我喜欢化装舞会 |
| [06:55] | Are you going too, Stella? | 你也要去吗 史黛拉 |
| [06:57] | Uh, I have this other thing I have to make an appearance at. | 我得去参加另一个活动 |
| [06:59] | I feel like “It Girls” | 我感觉”性感女孩” |
| [07:00] | Always have to make an appearance at something, | 总是有活动要参加 |
| [07:02] | like you apparate from event to event like a very chic ghost. | 像一个时髦幽灵一样在活动之间来回穿梭 |
| [07:06] | Have you ever thought about that? | 你有想过这个吗 |
| [07:09] | You come at people with kind of an intense energy, don’t you? | 你总是一副咄咄逼人的架势 对吗 |
| [07:12] | That’s so funny, that’s what my last few therapists | 有意思 我上几个心理医生 |
| [07:14] | have said before they suddenly move away. | 也是这么说的 然后突然就走了 |
| [07:15] | It’s like every time I get a new one, | 好像每次我有一个新的心理医生 |
| [07:18] | they get a once‐in‐a‐lifetime opportunity | 他们就会得到千载难逢的机会 |
| [07:20] | to move to a remote country | 搬去一个偏远国家 |
| [07:21] | and do therapy for the underprivileged. | 给贫困群众做心理咨询 |
| [07:23] | Well, you know what, I find you absolutely… | 知道吗 我觉得你… |
| [07:25] | ‐ Whatever it is, I promise I can change. ‐ …fascinating. | -不管是什么 我保证我会改变 -很迷人 |
| [07:28] | Oh, my God, you do? | 天啊 你真这么觉得吗 |
| [07:29] | Yeah. I mean, you’re unsettling in a way | 是的 你的不安 |
| [07:31] | that gives me an adrenaline rush and I kind of love it. | 让我的肾上腺素汹涌 我还挺喜欢的 |
| [07:34] | You should come with me to this weird party, what do you think? | 你应该跟我一起去这个古怪派对 你说呢 |
| [07:36] | ‐ Eh… yes. ‐ You’re not afraid of death, right? | -好啊 -你不怕死 对吗 |
| [07:40] | ‐ What? ‐ Cool. | -什么 -酷 |
| [07:46] | Oh, my God, I have to pee so bad. | 天 我得马上小便 |
| [08:01] | You’re here! | 你来了 |
| [08:02] | You look like a sexy eggplant, but you’re here! | 你看上去就像是个性感茄子 但你来了 |
| [08:04] | ‐ How’s it all going? ‐ Stressful. | -你好吗 -很紧张 |
| [08:06] | I took my eye off Chef Hallie for two seconds | 我视线离开哈莉厨师两秒 |
| [08:08] | and found her hiding in the bathroom housing a Slim Jim. | 就发现她躲在厕所里吃肉条 |
| [08:10] | Apparently she still stress‐eats meat from time to time, | 显然她偶尔会因为压力过大而吃肉 |
| [08:13] | and now I have a purseful of confiscated jerky. | 现在我包里全是没收的肉条 |
| [08:19] | Oh, that bitch loves a kielbasa. | 那贱人喜欢波兰香肠 |
| [08:21] | Look, I have to handle this, | 我得去处理这事 |
| [08:22] | then I’ll be back and I want us to make the rounds together. | 然后我会回来 我想我们一起去巡回参观 |
| [08:24] | Don’t move! | 别动 |
| [08:28] | – What are you doing? ‐ You told me not to move. | -你在干什么 -你叫我别动的 |
| [08:29] | No. I meant mingle. | 不 我是说别去交际 |
| [08:31] | But, like, stay close. | 不过不要走远 |
| [08:38] | Okay. You can do this. | 好的 你可以做到 |
| [08:40] | Just… jump into a conversation. | 随便找人聊天 |
| [08:44] | They’re just terrifying people that you can’t relate to. | 他们只是你无法产生共鸣的可怕之人 |
| [08:52] | So, do you like… veganism? | 你喜欢素食主义吗 |
| [08:56] | I’m from Wisconsin. State religion is cheese. | 我来自威斯康星州 奶酪是全州人的信仰 |
| [08:59] | Oh, yeah, I had a bison burger for lunch. | 这样 我午餐吃了野牛汉堡 |
| [09:02] | I’m just here ’cause my friend is PR for the chef. | 我来这是因为我朋友是厨师的公关 |
| [09:13] | I’d probably feel guilty about it, | 我也许会感到内疚 |
| [09:14] | but I hear Chef Hallie’s a closet carnivore herself. | 但我听说哈莉厨师本人是深柜肉食者 |
| [09:19] | – Really? – Oh, yeah. | -是吗 -是的 |
| [09:21] | Huge meat freak. | 超喜欢吃肉 |
| [09:22] | Well, I’m gonna make the rounds. It was nice talking to you. | 我要去四处转转 和你聊天很愉快 |
| [09:26] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [09:31] | ‐ Jules! ‐ What? | -茱尔斯 -干什么 |
| [09:32] | Where did you go? I wanted you to meet my boss. | 你去哪了 我想你来见见我老板 |
| [09:34] | Mm. I’ve been here, just talking with some guy. | 我一直在这儿 跟一个男人聊天 |
| [09:35] | ‐ I really need your support tonight. ‐ I’m being supportive. | -我今晚真的需要你的支持 -我不就在支持你吗 |
| [09:37] | I’m eating a crab cake made from hearts of palm. | 我在吃一个用棕榈芯做的蟹肉蛋糕 |
| [09:40] | Guess I just expected you | 我想我只是指望你 |
| [09:41] | to be a little more excited that out of everyone | 能更兴奋一点 那么多人里 |
| [09:43] | I know to come with me to this huge life event, I picked‐‐ | 我选了你来陪我参加这个活动 |
| [09:46] | Stella. You picked Stella. | 史黛拉 你选了史黛拉 |
| [09:48] | Okay, she wasn’t supposed to tell me | 她本不该告诉我的 |
| [09:49] | and I wasn’t supposed to tell you, | 我也不该告诉你 |
| [09:50] | but she told me and I’m telling you; | 但她跟我说了 我现在也跟你说 |
| [09:51] | I know you invited Stella first. | 我知道你先邀请了史黛拉 |
| [09:53] | Well, you guys are wrong ’cause I actually invited Colin first. | 你们错了 因为我其实最先邀请了柯林 |
| [09:56] | You’re trying to prove a point by telling me you invited me third? | 你想通过告诉我你第三个邀请我来证明你的观点吗 |
| [09:59] | Look, I’m sorry, okay? I was stupid to think he’d come with me. | 对不起 好吗 我太傻了 以为他会跟我来 |
| [10:02] | Wait, Colin, like secret‐doctor‐boyfriend Colin? | 柯林 就是那个秘密医生男友柯林吗 |
| [10:06] | Why wouldn’t he come? | 他为什么不来 |
| [10:07] | He moves under the radar right now | 他现在低调行事 |
| [10:08] | and there’s a ton of press here, | 这里有很多媒体 |
| [10:09] | so he’s just gonna meet me after, but… | 所以他会在派对结束后来见我 但是 |
| [10:12] | I didn’t wanna come alone. | 我不想一个人来 |
| [10:13] | Do you wanna talk about it? | 你想谈谈吗 |
| [10:14] | I mean, I know I’m just coming back into your life, | 我知道我刚回归你的生活 |
| [10:16] | but whatever it is, you can tell me. | 但不管是什么 你都可以跟我说 |
| [10:19] | Okay, fine, but you have to keep it a secret. | 好吧 但你必须保密 |
| [10:21] | I will, I promise. | 我会的 我保证 |
| [10:24] | He’s… | 他… |
| [10:27] | older. | 比我大 |
| [10:31] | ‐ That’s it? ‐ Yeah, he’s older, | -就这样吗 -嗯 他比我大 |
| [10:33] | so we’re not ready to tell people we’re together yet. | 所以我们还没准备好向大家宣布我们在一起 |
| [10:35] | Well, how much older? Like Keanu Reeves older | 大多少 基努·里维斯那么大 |
| [10:38] | or like “Fought in the Civil War” Older? | 还是”参加过内战”那么大 |
| [10:41] | Just older. | 就是比我大 |
| [10:42] | It doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, | 感觉没什么啊 |
| [10:43] | but if you wanna keep it private… | 不过如果你想保密 |
| [10:45] | Hey, thanks for the tip on the T‐Rex. | 谢谢你关于霸王龙的消息 |
| [10:49] | What does he mean “Tip,” Jules? | 他说的消息指的是什么 小茱 |
| [10:52] | That guy’s a huge food and culture reporter. | 那人是著名美食和文化记者 |
| [10:55] | Well, shit. | 该死 |
| [10:57] | How could you do this to me, Jules? This is my job. | 你怎么能这么对我 茱尔斯 这是我的工作 |
| [11:00] | Secrets between friends are supposed to be secret. | 朋友间的秘密就应该是秘密的 |
| [11:02] | I didn’t realize that was a secret. | 我不知道那是秘密 |
| [11:03] | That a vegan chef eats meat? | 一个素食厨师吃肉 |
| [11:05] | What did you think it was, just a career‐destroying fun fact? | 你觉得是什么 毁灭职业生涯的有趣事实吗 |
| [11:08] | Oh, was bringing me to a big social event a bad idea? | 带我来参加社交活动是馊主意吗 |
| [11:11] | I wonder how either of us could have seen this coming. | 我好奇我们俩当初怎么会没有料到 |
| [11:13] | Oh, that is such a cop‐out, Jules. | 你这是避重就轻 茱尔斯 |
| [11:14] | You wanted to be friends again, and this is a part of it. | 你想重新做回朋友 这就是其中的一部分 |
| [11:16] | Coming to events, keeping secrets. | 参加活动 保密 |
| [11:18] | I confided in you, that means something. | 我向你吐露秘密 这是有意义的 |
| [11:20] | I know that it means something. | 我知道有意义 |
| [11:21] | I’m not really sure what that something is, | 我只是不确定是什么意义 |
| [11:23] | but I acknowledge it sounds like progress when you say it. | 但我承认你说出来的时候感觉像是进步 |
| [11:25] | Okay, the only way to stop this guy from running the story | 唯一能阻止这人报道这事的办法 |
| [11:28] | is to feed him a better story. | 就是给他提供一个更精彩的故事 |
| [11:29] | Only problem is, it’s a totally dead Tuesday, | 但是问题是 今天是最无聊的周二 |
| [11:32] | and our friend who always knows something crazy going on | 我们那个总是知道内幕的朋友 |
| [11:33] | currently has her head in the toilet from bad sushi. | 现在因为吃了坏的寿司在厕所里呕吐 |
| [11:37] | What? What do you know? Your eyes widened. | 怎么 你知道什么 你的眼睛睁大了 |
| [11:39] | What? No they didn’t. | 什么 没有 |
| [11:39] | They’re the same size they’ve always been. | 一直都这么大 |
| [11:41] | ‐ Jules. ‐ Secrets between friends are supposed to be sacred? | -茱尔斯 -朋友间的秘密应该是神圣的 |
| [11:43] | Yeah, that only applies when I’m talking about me. | 那只在针对我的时候才有效 |
| [11:51] | It’s not gonna happen. | 想都别想 |
| [11:52] | – A trade. – Better than this? | -交易 -比这还劲爆吗 |
| [11:54] | How do you feel about the exclusive to a secret celebrity party | 在乔伊·劳伦斯家举办的秘密名人派对的 |
| [11:56] | at Joey Lawrence’s house? | 独家新闻怎么样 |
| [11:58] | – Thanks, but no thanks. – To announce that he’s dying. | -谢了 算了 -他将宣布他要死了 |
| [12:09] | Whiskey, neat. | 威士忌 不加冰 |
| [12:11] | Yes. Whiskey, same. | 我也要一样的威士忌 |
| [12:14] | That’s my order, too. | 我平时也这么点 |
| [12:17] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [12:20] | Oh… Oh, my God. | 我的天 |
| [12:22] | It tastes like Don Draper and gasoline. | 味道就像唐·德雷柏和汽油混在一起 |
| [12:25] | Can I have a vodka soda with 17 limes? | 能给我一杯伏特加苏打加17片酸橙吗 |
| [12:27] | ‐ Are you okay? ‐ Yeah. What? | -你还好吗 -嗯 什么 |
| [12:30] | No. Here’s the thing. | 不好 是这样的 |
| [12:33] | You’re so cool and fabulous and interesting, | 你这么酷 这么漂亮 这么有趣 |
| [12:36] | and I am… just like this. | 而我就这样 |
| [12:38] | The reason why you find me interesting is | 你觉得我有趣的原因是 |
| [12:40] | because I don’t put it all out there like you do. | 因为我不像你一样把什么都展示出来 |
| [12:43] | Like, my parents were backup dancers for Madonna, | 我父母以前是麦当娜的替补舞者 |
| [12:45] | who fucked once on a flight to Tokyo | 有次在去东京的航班上做爱 |
| [12:47] | and then split up before tour was over. | 然后在巡演结束前就分手了 |
| [12:49] | I don’t tell people that because it’s tedious and boring. | 我从不跟人说这事因为无聊乏味 |
| [12:52] | Holy shit, that’s like the most interesting thing I’ve ever heard. | 天啊 这是我听过的最有意思的事 |
| [12:56] | My parents met at a Brookstone, | 我父母在一家Brookstone相遇 |
| [12:57] | both reaching for the same glow‐in‐the‐dark shower radio. | 同时伸手去拿同一个夜光沐浴收音机 |
| [13:00] | Okay, how about for tonight you don’t… | 要不你今晚就不要 |
| [13:03] | you know, share as much? | 分享太多故事 |
| [13:05] | People like a mystery woman. | 人们喜欢神秘女人 |
| [13:06] | Okay, yeah, I get it. | 嗯 我明白 |
| [13:09] | Like when a non‐famous girl gets photographed with a celebrity | 就像当一个不出名的女生和一个名人合影 |
| [13:12] | and then the caption reads, | 图片介绍写的是 |
| [13:13] | “Orlando Bloom pictured with mystery brunette.” | “奥兰多·布鲁姆和神秘深褐色头发女子合影” |
| [13:16] | You’re kind of like if drugs were a person. | 你就好比毒品是人一样 |
| [13:23] | – Here you go. – Oh, my God, thank you. | -给 -天 谢谢 |
| [13:29] | Oh, shit, my boss wants to know where I am. | 该死 我老板想知道我在哪 |
| [13:30] | ‐ I’m gonna need quotes. ‐ Okay, you go do your job. | -我需要引用原话 -你去做你的工作 |
| [13:33] | I promise I will never talk to anyone about anything ever again. | 我保证我再也不会跟任何人说起任何事 |
| [13:36] | – I swear on Turtle’s life. Turtle’s my cat. ‐ I don’t care. | -我用乌龟的性命发誓 乌龟是我的猫 -我不在乎 |
| [13:46] | I bet you’re wondering what I’m thinking about. | 你肯定想知道我在想什么 |
| [13:49] | Oh. Sorry, I’m just trying to charge my phone | 抱歉 我只是想给手机充电 |
| [13:51] | and you’re standing in front of the outlet. | 而你刚好站在插座前面 |
| [13:54] | What’s your name? | 你叫什么名字 |
| [13:57] | I don’t have one. | 我没有名字 |
| [13:58] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:00] | Do you live in L. A.? | 你住在洛杉矶吗 |
| [14:01] | Does anyone live in L. A.? | 有人住在洛杉矶吗 |
| [14:05] | You know, eight percent is probably fine. | 百分之八的电还够用 |
| [14:17] | Hey, Jules. You want a hit of this? | 茱尔斯 想尝尝这个吗 |
| [14:20] | It’s mint papaya with just the teeniest amount of opium. | 这是加了微量鸦片的薄荷味木瓜 |
| [14:23] | Ooh, no thank you. | 不了 谢谢 |
| [14:24] | So, don’t be mad, but Madison’s here. | 别生气 麦迪逊来了 |
| [14:27] | Jules, I told you not to tell. | 茱尔斯 我叫你别告诉她的 |
| [14:29] | I know, I kept your secret, | 我知道 我为你保密 |
| [14:30] | but then I accidentally told another secret, | 然后我不小心说了另一个秘密 |
| [14:32] | which was actually Madison’s client’s secret, | 其实是麦迪逊客户的秘密 |
| [14:34] | so to trade secrets, I had to tell your secret…s. | 所以为了交换秘密 我不得不说了你的秘密 |
| [14:37] | Well, this is gonna be a cluster fuck. | 这简直就是灾难 |
| [14:39] | You know, in retrospect, | 不过回头想想的话 |
| [14:40] | it is with incredible foresight I got this high. | 我嗑到这么嗨真是太有远见了 |
| [14:43] | You think Madison’s really gonna be that mad that you lied? | 你觉得麦迪逊会因为你撒谎而生气吗 |
| [14:46] | No, she’s not gonna be mad. | 不 她不会生气 |
| [14:47] | She’s gonna have a panic attack. | 她会恐慌发作 |
| [14:49] | This is a magic show. | 这是魔术表演 |
| [14:51] | Oh, my God! | 我的天 |
| [14:53] | Oh, my God! Madison is terrified of magic. | 我的天 麦迪逊最怕魔术了 |
| [14:56] | Remember that guy who was doing card tricks | 记得那个人在凯蒂·海瑟薇毕业派对上 |
| [14:58] | at Katie Hathaway’s graduation party? | 表演纸牌魔术吗 |
| [14:59] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [15:00] | He asked her to pick a card and she punched him in the face. | 他叫她选一张牌 结果她揍了他一拳 |
| [15:03] | It was hilarious. | 笑死人了 |
| [15:04] | Wait, I thought you said this party is because Joey’s dying. | 你不是说这个派对是因为乔伊要死了吗 |
| [15:07] | No, he is. He’s obsessed with magic. | 没错啊 他沉迷魔术 |
| [15:10] | So he got this famous illusionist to do this insane trick | 所以他找来了一个著名魔术师来表演一个疯狂魔术 |
| [15:13] | where they stop his heart for three minutes. | 他们会让他的心脏停跳三分钟 |
| [15:15] | Oh. Well, I’m relieved he’s not dying of a terminal illness | 真是松了口气 他不会死于绝症 |
| [15:19] | but rather of a fake magic‐induced heart attack. | 而是一个虚假的心脏病魔术 |
| [15:24] | I honestly don’t understand | 我真的不懂 |
| [15:26] | why she’s so freaked out by magic, anyway. | 她为什么这么怕魔术 |
| [15:28] | Um, not being in control of what’s happening, | 无法控制会发生什么 |
| [15:30] | not being told what’s going on, being deceived intentionally. | 没人告诉她情况 被故意欺骗 |
| [15:34] | Wait. Those are all the things that Madison hates. | 等等 这些都是麦迪逊讨厌的事 |
| [15:38] | Okay, no more hookah for you. | 不准再抽水烟了 |
| [15:41] | How the fuck am I supposed to guess your name? | 我要怎么猜出你名字 |
| [15:43] | There’s like 10 trillion fucking names. | 有无数个名字 |
| [15:46] | Izzy, have you seen Madison? | 伊兹 你看到麦迪逊了吗 |
| [15:48] | I fucking hate parties in the Hills. | 我讨厌比弗利山庄里的派对 |
| [15:50] | You guys have no respect for what I’m trying to do here. | 你们根本不尊重我在这做的事 |
| [15:54] | Let’s just go. | 走吧 |
| [15:56] | It’s what you wanted. | 满足你们 |
| [16:05] | Oh! Uh, uh… We can’t go over there. | 我们不能过去 |
| [16:07] | Why not? | 为什么 |
| [16:09] | It’s a… I can’t believe I’m going to say this word… | 这是个… 我不敢相信我要说出这个词 |
| [16:12] | secret. | 秘密 |
| [16:13] | Seriously? | 真的吗 |
| [16:14] | I swore on Turtle’s life I’d never tell another secret. | 我以乌龟的性命发誓我不会再透露秘密 |
| [16:16] | Honey, he’s a cat, he has nine of them, so just tell us. | 亲爱的 它是只猫 它有九条命 说吧 |
| [16:19] | I think that’s Madison’s doctor boyfriend. | 我觉得那是麦迪逊的医生男友 |
| [16:23] | She said his age is the reason | 她说他的年龄是 |
| [16:25] | they’re keeping their relationship private | 他们没有公开恋情的原因 |
| [16:26] | and that they were planning on meeting up after her event. | 他们计划在派对后见面 |
| [16:29] | I mean, maybe he came early | 也许他提前来 |
| [16:31] | because he doesn’t have that much time left. | 因为他时间不多了 |
| [16:32] | He looks like my rabbi and Kurt Russell had a baby, | 他看上去像是我的拉比和库尔特·拉塞尔生的孩子 |
| [16:35] | but like a Benjamin Button baby. | 不过是本杰明·巴顿那样的 |
| [16:38] | God, we can’t let her freak out in front of all these people. | 天 我们不能让她在这么多人面前慌乱 |
| [16:41] | Fuck this, I’m going in. | 不管了 我要过去 |
| [16:48] | Madison? | 麦迪逊 |
| [16:50] | Guys, not now. | 现在不是时候 |
| [16:51] | Sorry to interrupt your intimate moment, | 抱歉打扰你们的亲密时刻 |
| [16:53] | but, um, we just need to borrow her for a second. | 但我们找她有点事 |
| [16:55] | One second. | 马上回来 |
| [16:59] | Stella. | 史黛拉 |
| [17:01] | – Jules. – Madison. | -茱尔斯 -麦迪逊 |
| [17:02] | – Izzy. – Sorry. No one said my name. | -伊兹 -抱歉 没人叫我的名字 |
| [17:05] | What do you guys want? | 你们想干什么 |
| [17:06] | One of you doesn’t tell me anything | 你什么都不跟我说 |
| [17:07] | and one of you can’t keep her mouth shut. | 而你管不住自己的嘴巴 |
| [17:08] | Okay. Fun, angry energy coming from you, | 好吧 你散发着有趣 愤怒的能量 |
| [17:10] | but we need to take a second for an announcement. | 但我们要跟你说件事 |
| [17:12] | What? | 什么 |
| [17:13] | This is a magic show. | 这是魔术表演 |
| [17:19] | N‐No, it’s not. | 不 不是的 |
| [17:29] | Ladies and gentlemen, in a matter of moments | 女士们先生们 再过一会儿 |
| [17:31] | I will electrocute Mr. Lawrence until his heart, | 我就会电击劳伦斯先生 直到他的 |
| [17:33] | tracked by this monitor, stops. | 心脏停跳 这个监控仪实时追踪 |
| [17:37] | It’s been great knowing you, everyone. | 认识你们我很开心 |
| [17:39] | I’ll see you on the other side. | 另一边见了 |
| [17:42] | I love you all. | 我爱你们 |
| [17:47] | Now, I want to be clear here. | 我想声明下 |
| [17:48] | This is not an illusion. | 这不是幻觉 |
| [17:51] | This is really happening, | 这是真实发生的事 |
| [17:52] | and it is an extremely dangerous stunt. | 是一个非常危险的表演 |
| [17:58] | She doesn’t look so good. | 她看上去不太好 |
| [18:01] | Madison, honey, maybe we should go. | 麦迪逊 亲爱的 也许我们该走了 |
| [18:04] | I can’t feel my legs. | 我感觉不到我的腿了 |
| [18:06] | Start the clock for three minutes. | 开始三分钟计时 |
| [18:07] | Joey Lawrence is officially dead. | 乔伊·劳伦斯正式死亡 |
| [18:11] | Oh, my God! | 我的天 |
| [18:14] | Oh, my God, oh, my God. | 我的天 我的天 |
| [18:16] | Okay. She’s out. | 她昏过去了 |
| [18:17] | Wha‐What’s going on? | 什么情况 |
| [18:19] | Thank God you’re here. She needs your help. | 谢天谢地你来了 她需要你的帮助 |
| [18:21] | – With‐with the reporter? – What? No, she fainted. | -帮忙应付那个记者吗 -什么 不 她昏迷了 |
| [18:23] | I can see that. | 我能看出来 |
| [18:24] | ‐ Well, do something. ‐ Do you want me to call 911? | -那就做点什么 -你们想要我打911吗 |
| [18:27] | Why would you call 911? | 你为什么要打911 |
| [18:28] | – Because she fainted. – But you’re a doctor. | -因为她昏迷了 -可你是医生啊 |
| [18:30] | I’m not a doctor, I’m a publicist. | 我不是医生 我是公关 |
| [18:32] | I thought she was dating a doctor. | 她不是在和医生交往吗 |
| [18:34] | I’m not dating her. I’m Madison’s boss. | 我没和她交往 我是麦迪逊老板 |
| [18:37] | I came here to help her with some reporter. | 我是来帮她应付某个记者的 |
| [18:39] | Then maybe you should call 911. | 那或许你该拨打911 |
| [18:44] | She’s alive! | 她还活着 |
| [18:46] | Oh, no, not Joey, just this girl. | 不 不是乔伊 是这个女生 |
| [18:51] | Sometimes it can stop for three minutes and 30 seconds. | 有时可能会暂停三分半钟 |
| [18:54] | Perfectly normal. | 很正常 |
| [18:56] | Nobody panic, we’re just gonna try it again here. | 不用惊慌 我们再试一次 |
| [19:04] | Come on, Jo‐Jo! | 醒醒 乔乔 |
| [19:09] | Shit. | 该死 |
| [19:13] | Oh, fuck! | 操 |
| [19:22] | I can’t believe we just saw Joey Lawrence | 我不敢相信我们见证了乔伊·劳伦斯 |
| [19:24] | go into cardiac arrest. | 心脏停搏 |
| [19:26] | Magic should be illegal. | 魔术应该被定为非法行为 |
| [19:31] | Please stay calm, everybody. | 大家冷静 |
| [19:34] | Thanks for coming to my party. | 谢谢来到我的派对 |
| [19:38] | Please join me inside for coffee and cake! | 请到屋里去喝咖啡吃蛋糕 |
| [19:42] | Holy shit, that was incredible. | 我去 这也太神了 |
| [19:46] | Told ya. | 我就说吧 |
| [19:53] | I can’t believe you thought my boss was my boyfriend. | 你们竟然以为我老板是我男友 |
| [19:55] | You said he was old. | 你说他老的 |
| [19:57] | I said older, not old. He’s 45. | 我说比我大 不是老 他45岁 |
| [20:01] | Okay, that’s not a big enough age difference | 这个不算很大的年龄差 |
| [20:03] | for this to be such a problem. | 根本不是什么问题 |
| [20:06] | Is this a keep or a tell? | 这个该保密还是曝光 |
| [20:11] | Look, okay, the secret is not that Colin is older, it’s… | 听着 秘密不是柯林比我大 屙屎 |
| [20:17] | it’s that he’s married. | 是他结婚了 |
| [20:18] | Separated, divorced practically. | 分居 等同于离婚了 |
| [20:20] | They were already broken up when we met, | 我们相遇时他们已经分手了 |
| [20:22] | but they haven’t finalized the papers yet, | 但他们还没签完文件 |
| [20:24] | and his lawyer said | 他的律师说 |
| [20:25] | it’s best that he lay low with his dating life | 他最好对他的感情生活保持低调 |
| [20:27] | until the ink was dry so as to not rock the boat. | 直到签订完文件 以免引出麻烦 |
| [20:30] | Madison, wow. | 麦迪逊 |
| [20:32] | Look, they don’t have any kids, | 听着 他们没有小孩 |
| [20:33] | so things won’t get ugly. | 所以场面不会变得难堪 |
| [20:35] | I just… | 我只是 |
| [20:36] | don’t want people, you know, getting the wrong impression of him. | 不想让人 对他产生错误印象 |
| [20:40] | Or me. | 或者对我 |
| [20:42] | Does it feel better to tell us? | 说出来感觉好点了吗 |
| [20:44] | Oh, God, you have no idea. | 天 感觉好多了 |
| [20:46] | I feel better, it’s not even my secret. | 我感觉好点了 尽管不是我的秘密 |
| [20:49] | Not that I anticipate my life getting interesting enough | 倒不是我预料到我的生活会有趣到 |
| [20:51] | to hide any aspect of it, but… | 需要我隐瞒任何事 不过 |
| [20:54] | I vote all secrets be temporarily suspended. | 我支持暂停隐瞒所有秘密 |
| [20:58] | Among this group of people, at least. | 至少在我们几个人之间 |
| [21:01] | Even her? | 包括她吗 |
| [21:04] | We can trust her. | 我们可以信任她 |
| [21:06] | I mean, we know she elaborately lied about her identity | 我们知道她在过去几年里对我们的同事 |
| [21:08] | to everyone we’ve worked with for the last several years. | 精心隐瞒了她的身份 |
| [21:12] | Works for me. | 我觉得行 |
| [21:20] | Just gonna take this. | 我得去接这电话 |
| [21:23] | Jeremy? | 杰瑞米 |
| [21:24] | Ew, no. It’s Ramona. | 恶心 不是 我是雷蒙娜 |
| [21:27] | Um… Oh, sorry, I missed your calls. | 抱歉 我没接到你电话 |
| [21:30] | This came up as your brother’s number. | 显示的是你弟弟的号码 |
| [21:33] | Our dad roped us all into this new family plan thing, | 我们爸给我们捆绑了新的家庭套餐计划 |
| [21:36] | and now that keeps happening. | 老是这样 |
| [21:37] | Anyway, I wanna talk to you about my wedding. | 总之 我想跟你谈谈我的婚礼 |
| [21:39] | Yeah, um, I’m sorry I haven’t reached out sooner. | 抱歉 我没有尽早联系你 |
| [21:41] | I’ll return the bridesmaid’s dress and everything. | 我会归还伴娘礼服什么的 |
| [21:44] | I don’t want you to return it. | 我不想要你归还 |
| [21:46] | I still want you to be in it. | 我还是想让你来 |
| [21:48] | Wait, really? | 真的吗 |
| [21:49] | Jeremy is being an idiot. | 杰瑞米在犯傻 |
| [21:51] | You’ve been like family the last five years. | 过去五年你就像家人一样 |
| [21:53] | More than that, I consider you a friend. | 不止于此 我把你当做朋友 |
| [21:55] | Well, that’s… that’s really sweet, but, um… | 你真是太好了 不过 |
| [21:58] | I… I don’t know. | 我说不好 |
| [21:59] | I mean, if it’s too hard for you to be around my brother, | 如果你不想待在我弟弟身边 |
| [22:02] | I totally understand. | 我完全理解 |
| [22:03] | I’ll just tell him you’re uncomfortable | 我就跟他说你不自在 |
| [22:04] | or you’re just not over it yet. | 或者你还没放下 |
| [22:05] | Oh, no, no… no, no, no. Don’t tell Jeremy I’m not over it. | 别别 别跟杰瑞米说我还没放下 |
| [22:08] | I am… I am totally over it. | 我 我完全放下了 |
| [22:10] | It’ll be great. | 会很棒的 |
| [22:11] | Besides, the wedding is still a few months away | 再说 距离婚礼还有好几个月 |
| [22:13] | and guys like my brother tend to come to their senses about these things. | 我弟这样的男人在这种事上往往最后会想通的 |
| [22:17] | I really want you to be there. | 我真的希望你能来 |
| [22:19] | Say you’re still my bridesmaid, please? | 说你仍然是我的伴娘 拜托了 |
| [22:21] | I’m still your bridesmaid. | 我仍然是你的伴娘 |
| [22:22] | Yay! Okay. | 耶 好的 |
| [22:23] | Now we have to start planning my bachelorette party. Eeee! | 现在我们要开始筹划我的单身派对了 |
| [22:30] | Who was that? | 谁打来的 |
| [22:32] | I’m in a wedding in a few months. | 几个月后我要去参加一个婚礼 |
| [22:33] | It was just the bride giving me some details. | 新娘跟我介绍一些细节 |
| [22:35] | Whose wedding? | 谁的婚礼 |
| [22:39] | My… cousin’s. | 我表姐的 |
| [22:42] | Hey, thanks again for the lead. | 再次谢谢你的线索 |
| [22:44] | Signed copy of the Vegan Monologues | 《素食独白》签名版 |
| [22:46] | will be in the mail tomorrow. | 明天就寄给你 |
| [22:48] | Check Twitter. | 看看推特 |
| [22:54] | “Joey Lawrence, technically dead, | “乔伊·劳伦斯 严格来说死了 |
| [22:56] | pictured here with brown‐haired guest.” | 被拍到和棕色头发宾客在一起” |
| [23:04] | That’s almost a mystery brunette. | 这几乎算是神秘深褐色头发女子了 |
| [23:06] | You guys, I did it! | 姐妹们 我做到了 |