| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Chapter one of my presidential memoir. | 我的总统自传第一章 |
| [00:06] | Today, my journey begins to become the youngest, | 从今天起 我将开拓历史 成为继布坎南之后 |
| [00:09] | shortest, blondest female president since Buchanan! | 最年轻 最娇小 发色最金的女总统 |
| [00:15] | Always open with a joke. | 幽默感非常重要 |
| [00:19] | Tomorrow I launch my first major election campaign, | 明天 我的第一次大选就拉开帷幕了 |
| [00:23] | as I run for class president. | 我要竞选班长了 |
| [00:25] | What a coincidence! | 哎哟 真巧 |
| [00:27] | Because tomorrow I start as your campaign manager. | 明天我正好要当你的竞选参谋 |
| [00:30] | What are the odds? | 咱俩真是心有灵犀 |
| [00:32] | Now, can you give me a turn on the computer? | 可以换我用电脑了不 |
| [00:35] | I have a very important blog to write as your campaign manager. | 作为你的参谋 我也有篇历史性博文要写 |
| [00:38] | Stan, we discussed this. You’re not my campaign manager. | 斯坦 不是说过了吗 你不是我参谋 |
| [00:42] | Fine, I’m not. | 行 随你便 |
| [00:44] | I’m so excited to be named Avery’s campaign manager. | 成为艾芙莉的竞选参谋 我内心激动不已 |
| [00:48] | Clearly, she needs help with the way the press is hounding her. | 媒体的死缠烂打实在让她喘不过气来 |
| [00:51] | -What press? -They’re always watching. | -哪儿有媒体 -隔墙有耳 |
| [00:57] | But they’re not always this adorable. Look at his little camera! | 不过这么可爱的狗仔去哪儿找 瞧他的小相机 |
| [01:21] | -I got this. -I got one. | -这个我帮你拿 -那个我帮你拎 |
| [01:23] | Thanks you guys. I can get the rest of the stuff from the campaign bus myself. | 谢了 伙计们 竞选大巴里剩下的东西我自己拿就行 |
| [01:26] | Avery, it’s not a campaign bus, it’s a little red wagon pulled by your dog. | 艾芙莉 哪儿有大巴啊 那是你家狗拉的小推车 |
| [01:35] | It was either this or make him my campaign manager. | 不然就得同意让他当我的竞选参谋了 |
| [01:42] | So, I can’t wait to find out who my opponent is. | 好想知道我的竞选对手是谁 |
| [01:45] | Who I will graciously mention in my victory speech | 我会先在获胜演讲上感激地提到他 |
| [01:48] | before the balloons drop from the ceiling. | 然后再让人放飞气球 |
| [01:50] | Oh, I’ve always wanted balloons to drop from the ceiling. | 我一直想身处漫天气球的世界 |
| [01:53] | Keep blowing, Wyatt! | 怀特 卖力点 |
| [01:58] | Actually, you don’t have an opponent. | 你根本没有对手 |
| [02:00] | Everybody knows you’ll win, so no one’s running against you. | 没人会不自量力地跟你竞争 |
| [02:02] | What? This is terrible. | 没对手 太可怕了 |
| [02:04] | Yes, success just falls in your lap, how awful. | 是啊 胜利唾手可得 我都快伤心哭了 |
| [02:07] | You don’t understand. If I win with no one | 你不懂 要是没人和我争 |
| [02:10] | running against me the balloons will just seem smug. | 随便放气球就显自大了 |
| [02:13] | I didn’t say stop blowing, Wyatt! | 怀特 没让你停 |
| [02:18] | Does he do balloon animals? If he does, my next question | 他做不做动物气球 如果答案是肯定的 |
| [02:21] | is does he have a girlfriend? | 我就嫁了 |
| [02:23] | Guys, if I run unopposed, who will I debate? Myself? | 要是没人和我比 我跟自己辩论去啊 |
| [02:30] | -We need more computers in the library! -I agree entirely. | -我校图书馆需要更多电脑 -完全同意 |
| [02:33] | I also think that top is super cute. | 你这上衣真好看 |
| [02:35] | Right back at you about that top, pretty lady! | 你的更漂亮 姐们儿 |
| [02:39] | See? It won’t be a real campaign. | 懂了没 那根本不叫竞选 |
| [02:42] | And victory will be meaningless. | 胜利的果实都不甘甜了 |
| [02:46] | Max? | 麦克斯 |
| [02:47] | -Would you do me a huge favor, and run against me? -Max? Why didn’t you ask me? | -你来和我比吧 就算帮个忙 -为啥不叫我 |
| [02:53] | You always said you’d never run for election | 你不是宣称过永远不参加竞选吗 |
| [02:55] | because you didn’t want to throw your hat in the ring. | 因为竞选老让你想到圆环竞技场 圆环又让你想到帽子 |
| [02:56] | That expression has always bothered me. | 我一直觉得这词很怪 |
| [03:00] | Besides, you might care if you lost, I know Max won’t care. | 而且你输了肯定会介意的 麦克斯啥都不关心 |
| [03:04] | She’s right. I don’t care. I’ll do it. | 的确 我啥都不关心 那就这样吧 |
| [03:06] | In fact, my campaign slogan will “One student, one voice.” | 我都想好竞选口号了 “走自己的路 让别人说去吧” |
| [03:11] | Kidding. It’s “I don’t care.” | 开玩笑啦 其实是”关我鸟事” |
| [03:13] | Max, that’s perfect. | 麦克斯 太完美了 |
| [03:16] | Oh, a heart balloon with a note attached. | 我好感动 心形气球和小纸条 |
| [03:21] | “Help me.” | “救命” |
| [03:23] | Nice try, Wyatt. | 想得美 怀特 |
| [03:27] | Back to work. | 回去干活 |
| [03:33] | I’m home! | 我回来啦 |
| [03:35] | Hey buddy! | 儿子 |
| [03:36] | -Good to have you back. -The BMX tour was awesome. | -你可回来了 -自行车国家巡回越野赛完美落幕 |
| [03:39] | I got something for everybody. | 我有好多东西送你们 |
| [03:41] | -Chloe? This is a medal that I won. -Awesome! | -克洛伊 这是我赢的一块奖牌 -帅气 |
| [03:45] | Dad, here’s a team hat. And Mom, just for you… | 爸 这是我们的队帽 妈 特意为你留的 |
| [03:48] | Oh, it is so sweet. Three bags of mud-stained laundry. | -宝贝儿 你真好 -三大包臭烘烘的脏衣服 |
| [03:52] | You left with one bag of clothes. | 你只拿了一袋衣服走 |
| [03:54] | Ellis and Skidmark needed their clothes washed too. | 艾利和塞玛也有衣服要洗 |
| [03:56] | Skidmark’s not his real name, it’s Samuel K. Wydmark. | 塞玛的真名其实是塞穆尔·怀玛 |
| [04:00] | Plus, he’s a lazy wiper. | 随便提醒句 他上厕所不擦几下屁股 |
| [04:03] | Tyler, I’ve missed you so much. | 泰勒 我好想你啊 |
| [04:06] | You’re gone every few days now. | 你现在每隔几天就出趟门 |
| [04:07] | And every few days, the house is quiet, | 你不在的那几天 家里安静不少 |
| [04:11] | clean, and doesn’t smell like tropical breeze body spray. | 窗明几净 空中也没有热带风情香水的味儿了 |
| [04:14] | I wonder if there’s a connection. | 这两者间有联系吗 |
| [04:20] | Check this out. On the tour, I learned how to make chocolate milk in my mouth. | 看 我出门期间学了怎么在嘴里做巧克力奶 |
| [04:33] | For you, Mom. | 妈 献给您的 |
| [04:35] | My buddy Red makes them for all the guys. | 我兄弟瑞德每天都给大伙儿做 |
| [04:38] | This is disgusting. | 简直太恶心了 |
| [04:40] | And it’s not even a full cup! | 还不是一满杯 |
| [04:43] | I’m sorry you didn’t get anything good, Mommy. | 妈咪 真遗憾 您啥好东西都没拿到 |
| [04:45] | I would give you my medal, but then I wouldn’t have it. | 把奖牌给您没问题 可惜那样我就没礼物了 |
| [04:48] | You understand! | 您理解的 |
| [04:52] | Okay, Tyler, you’re going to help me wash these clothes. | 泰勒 你必须跟我一起把衣服洗了 |
| [04:55] | And you’re also going to get me something nicer than laundry and mouth milk. | 还有 脏衣服和自制奶不叫礼物 给我送件正经的来 |
| [04:59] | Did you even put your bike away, | 你没像上回似的又把自行车 |
| [05:02] | or did you just leave it lying in the driveway again? | 随便扔在马路上了吧 |
| [05:04] | Before you left, your mother almost backed over it. | 你出门比赛前 你娘倒车差点给撞上 |
| [05:06] | Yes, and I would have if it wasn’t for a man | 没错 幸亏有个人 |
| [05:08] | calling out, “Stop!” Strange I didn’t see | 在后头喊了声停车 不过 |
| [05:10] | the man it was just Stan in the rear-view mirror. | 他一开始还在后视镜里 一眨眼居然消失了 |
| [05:13] | Guys, I’m a responsible adult now, I’d never let something happen to my bike. | 爸妈 我已经是成熟的大人了 连自行车都看不好怎么行 |
| [05:18] | Something happened to my bike! | 我没看好自行车 |
| [05:20] | -What do you mean? -It’s gone, someone must have stolen it. | -啥 -我的车丢了 肯定是被偷走的 |
| [05:23] | I didn’t steal it, I only borrowed it. | 我没偷 就是借了一下下 |
| [05:26] | You borrowed my bike? | 你把我车借走了 |
| [05:28] | No! Your tropical wind body spray. | 没有啊 我借了你的热带风情香水 |
| [05:30] | What happened to your bike? | 你自行车怎么了 |
| [05:36] | Max, everyone is wearing your “I don’t care” slogan. | 麦克斯 大家全戴上你的”关我鸟事”徽章了 |
| [05:39] | -What’s going on? I thought you didn’t care about the election? -I don’t care. | -怎么回事 我还以为你不关心竞选呢 -关我鸟事 |
| [05:43] | I don’t care! I don’t care! | 关我鸟事 关我鸟事 |
| [05:45] | I don’t care! | 关我鸟事 |
| [05:46] | I’ve tapped into a deep vein of “meh.” | 我还在”鸟”上加了代表无聊的重音 |
| [05:50] | Well, why aren’t you wearing a button? | 你咋没戴徽章 |
| [05:52] | I don’t care. | 关我鸟事 |
| [05:55] | Hey, everybody! If you do want something | 如果同学们想关心啥事 |
| [05:59] | to care about, why don’t you vote for… | 为何不为 |
| [06:02] | a very good candidate? | “爱福利”的候选人投一票呢 |
| [06:06] | A very, Avery. A very, Avery. | 爱福利 艾芙莉 |
| [06:10] | See, it’s a pun on my name. | 双关语 懂没 |
| [06:12] | Oh, that’s good. It’s complicated without being funny. | 难懂的冷笑话 真不错耶 |
| [06:16] | I don’t care! I don’t care! | 关我鸟事 关我鸟事 |
| [06:18] | I don’t care! I don’t care! | 关我鸟事 |
| [06:21] | Max’s campaign is really catching on. | 麦克斯的支持者真多 |
| [06:23] | What if I lose? | 万一我输了咋办 |
| [06:25] | Look, all the different cliques are gathered around her: | 所有小团体都在这儿了 |
| [06:27] | The jocks, the nerds, the theater kids. | 运动员 书呆子 戏剧迷 |
| [06:30] | Even the group of guys who dress up like unicorns. | 连那群总打扮成独角兽的怪咖都来了 |
| [06:35] | How did she become so popular with the Dude-icorns? | 她把”独角兽兄弟连”都拉拢来了 |
| [06:39] | They’re the school’s most elusive and mythical voters. | 他们可是全校最难以捉摸的人了 |
| [06:48] | My election polls are a little inprecise | 我的数字不太精确 |
| [06:50] | but they indicate that you’re losing to Max by 10%. | 不过可以看出你的票数会比麦克斯少10% |
| [06:53] | Or maybe 30%. Or maybe winning by 10%. | 也可能少30% 还可能比她多10% |
| [06:57] | I did say they were a little imprecise. | 我说了 数字不大精确 |
| [07:00] | Stan, you’re not my campaign manager. | 斯坦 你不是我的竞选参谋 |
| [07:03] | Which is why you’re behind in the polls! | 的确 不然你的票数也不会这么少 |
| [07:06] | Unless you’re really ahead. | 当然 你目前领先也有可能 |
| [07:08] | I just don’t see how some joke campaign about not caring | 不可思议 一个胡编的口号就能引起全民非主流 |
| [07:12] | could be beating my very serious campaign about wanting to improve the school. | 我认真想给大家谋福利 反而没人鸟我 |
| [07:16] | Don’t worry, I’m on it. I have time now. | 别担心 我来处理 哥最近很闲 |
| [07:19] | My wife Princess is on the road doing dog shows. | 我老婆公主跟狗展巡演去了 |
| [07:22] | We’re America’s number one canine power couple. | 我们可是美利坚最出名狗狗夫妻 |
| [07:25] | They’re calling us Stan-cess. | 都有人开始喊”全民偶像斯坦加公主”了 |
| [07:29] | -Whose calling you that? -Well, so far just me and Robert. | -谁呀 -目前就我和罗伯特 |
| [07:32] | But that’s how things get started. | 不过热潮总是慢慢起来的嘛 |
| [07:33] | We’re also bringing back harem pants. | 我俩还重新掀起了灯笼裤潮流 |
| [07:39] | Anywho, I’ve made a campaign video that will turn the tide for you. | 不瞎扯了 我做了个能帮你反败为胜的宣传视频 |
| [07:44] | Max’s slogan is, “I don’t care.” | 麦克斯的口号是”关我鸟事” |
| [07:47] | You know who else doesn’t care? Cats. | 知道还有啥动物整天这心情吗 喵星人 |
| [07:51] | That’s right, Max is a cat. | 没错 麦克斯是一只猫 |
| [07:55] | She goes potty in sand. | 她在猫砂里上厕所 |
| [07:57] | Don’t invite her to your beach party. | 可千万别请她去你的海滩派对 |
| [08:00] | She plays with yarn. Oh, that’s really cute. | 她还喜欢玩毛线球 真可爱耶 |
| [08:04] | Or is it? | 真的可爱吗 |
| [08:07] | Eww! She’s got fleas. | 她居然有跳蚤 好恶心 |
| [08:12] | Do you really want your next president to be… | 你真的希望下一届班长是 |
| [08:16] | Fleabag Max? | “跳蚤女王麦克斯”吗 |
| [08:19] | Not necessarily based in any truth whatsoever. | 此视频纯属虚构 |
| [08:21] | Claims in this ad may be very or extremely exaggerated. | 内容很有可能夸大其词 |
| [08:23] | My name is Avery Jennings and I approve this message. | 我是艾芙莉·詹宁斯 为此视频授权 |
| [08:25] | Which is also not true. | 同样也纯属虚构 |
| [08:29] | Let’s put aside for a moment that that video is crazy. | 简洁明了地说 就是天上有牛飞 地上有人吹 |
| [08:33] | I am not going to run a negative campaign. | 我才不会背后耍阴招 |
| [08:35] | Max is my friend. The only reason she’s running is because I asked her to. | 我和麦克斯是朋友 是我要她参加竞选的 |
| [08:39] | Then you should ask her to drop out. | 那就让她退出啊 |
| [08:41] | That’s actually a good idea. | 好主意哎 |
| [08:43] | I’m full of good ideas, Avery. | 艾芙莉 我好主意一箩筐呢 |
| [08:46] | Check out the video Robert and I made to promote our harem pants. | 看看我和罗伯特做的灯笼裤宣传视频 |
| [08:58] | I’ve looked everywhere for my bike and nothing. | 我哪儿都找过了 自行车还是找不到 |
| [09:01] | So I’m going to need to borrow money from | 只能管您借点钱买辆新车 |
| [09:04] | you guys so I can get a new bike before the next competition. | 不然下次比赛就没车骑了 |
| [09:06] | Well, what happened to all the money you’ve been making on the BMX circuit? | 你比赛赢的钱都去哪儿了 |
| [09:09] | I swear I didn’t waste a penny of it. | 我保证一点没浪费 |
| [09:11] | No way I’m a waste of money. | 我咋可能浪费钱呢 |
| [09:17] | This is ridiculous, Tyler, you have to be more responsible. | 我都看不下去了 泰勒 你必须负起责任来 |
| [09:22] | Honey, you don’t clean up after yourself, | 宝贝儿 你不自己洗衣服 |
| [09:24] | you lose your bike, and you’re wasting your money, | 丢自行车 还不会管钱 |
| [09:26] | some of which you could have spent on a present | 你明明可以拿一部分给妈妈买件礼物 |
| [09:28] | for your mother that wasn’t made in your mouth. | 比自制奶强的那种 |
| [09:32] | Come on, Mommy and Daddy, Tyler’s a really great brother. | 爸妈 别怪他啦 泰勒是个好哥哥 |
| [09:35] | Everybody makes mistakes. Haven’t you ever lost something | 人无完人 你们不也犯过挺严重的错吗 |
| [09:39] | really important and really red-headed at the mall when she was five? | 比如在某个小红毛五岁时 把她丢在了商场里 |
| [09:43] | I was hoping that memory wouldn’t take. | 我以为她不记得呢 |
| [09:46] | Forgive, but never forget. | 不念了 但是不会忘 |
| [09:49] | That’s what I say about the man who put the robot inside of me. | 把机器芯片植入我体内的人也这么说的 |
| [09:56] | Actually, Tyler, you could learn from Chloe. | 泰勒 你其实可以向克洛伊学习一下 |
| [09:59] | Now she gets a dollar every week for doing chores | 她每周做家务活挣一块钱 |
| [10:02] | -and she saves it all. -How much do you have now, sweetheart? | -全存着呢 -宝贝儿 现在总数多少了 |
| [10:05] | -$450. -What? | -四百五十块 -啥 |
| [10:07] | How’d you get that much money? | 你哪儿来这么多钱 |
| [10:09] | I sell mice to the pet store as friends for the snakes. | 我捉完老鼠会带到宠物店卖 给蛇做好朋友 |
| [10:11] | Oh, sweetie. Snakes eat mice. | 亲爱的 蛇是吃老鼠的 |
| [10:15] | Really? I didn’t know that. | 真的 我咋不知道 |
| [10:18] | Well, business is business and business is booming. | 没关系 生意红火就好 |
| [10:22] | Please, if you loan me $300 to get a new bike, | 拜托 我只要三百块钱买辆新车 |
| [10:25] | -I promise I’ll pay you back. -Okay, but you have | -保证如数还回 -好吧 |
| [10:27] | to pay us back before you spend that money on anything frivolous. | 不过你必须尽快还 不许浪费在杂七杂八上 |
| [10:31] | That’s right, Tyler. No more throwing away money on stupid things. | 没错 泰勒 不许再买废品了 |
| [10:35] | This is great! | 真好玩 |
| [10:43] | Hey, Max. I really appreciate you running, | 姐们儿 你在这儿啊 谢谢你的帮忙 |
| [10:46] | but I was thinking now would be a good time for you to bow out. | 不过现在你可以退出竞选了 |
| [10:48] | -Because I’m winning? -Glad you understand! | -因为我要胜出了 -多谢理解 |
| [10:52] | No, Avery. I’m going to be class president. | 不 艾芙莉 我要当班长 |
| [10:54] | -I’m not dropping out. -What? | -我不退出了 -什么 |
| [10:56] | You don’t even care. | 可是你原来还说”关我鸟事” |
| [10:58] | Well, true, that’s been my life’s motto, | 的确 这是我的人生座右铭 |
| [11:01] | but now I’m a high school kid getting a lot of positive attention from my peers, | 可是作为一名高中生 得到同学支持的感觉很好 |
| [11:04] | so I’m going to ride that train for a while. | 所以我暂时就想这样 |
| [11:07] | Max, I asked you to run as a favor, you’re my friend. | 麦克斯 咱俩是好朋友 你是为了帮我才竞选的 |
| [11:11] | You should know how much this means to me. | 你清楚我有多在乎这事儿 |
| [11:12] | Well, if our friendship mattered to you, | 如果你真把我当朋友 |
| [11:14] | you’d understand that for the first time, I’m kind of a big deal. | 也应该懂我这么受欢迎有多不可思议 |
| [11:18] | I don’t care! I don’t care! I don’t care! | 关我鸟事 关我鸟事 |
| [11:20] | Yeah, you don’t. | 就是这个节奏 |
| [11:28] | Hey, Chloe, I just got a new bike. | 克洛伊 我买完新车了 |
| [11:30] | Totally customized. Even got a bell. | 量身定做 连车铃都有 |
| [11:33] | So, when I’m getting mad air, I’ll be all like, phew, bling, bling! | 这回我做特技时就可以叮铃铃伴奏喽 |
| [11:39] | So, you’re going back on tour? | 你要继续比赛了 |
| [11:41] | Yeah, and, honestly, and I don’t Mom and Dad Would have lent me | 对 其实 如果你没替我说话 |
| [11:44] | the money if you hadn’t stood up for me. | 爸妈可能根本不会借钱给我 |
| [11:47] | -You’re a great sister. -Nothing says thank you like a smoothie. | -你真是个好妹妹 -用奶昔答谢我吧 |
| [11:49] | I’ll make you one. | 这就给你做一杯去 |
| [11:50] | Not in your mouth! | 别用嘴做 |
| [11:53] | I shouldn’t have to say that. | 真不应该替他求情的 |
| [12:02] | Chloe, you sly taco! | 克洛伊 你个磨人的小妖精 |
| [12:14] | Hey, Chloe, come check out my new bike. | 克洛伊 快来看看我的新车 |
| [12:16] | Sure, Tyler, that would be very interesting. | 好啊 泰勒 一定非常有意思 |
| [12:21] | Check this out. | 快看 |
| [12:24] | My bike! Where is my bike? I just left it here for a second. | 我的车呢 又不见了 我才放这儿几秒钟 |
| [12:28] | Someone took it right out our backyard. | 有人直接把它从花园里偷走了 |
| [12:30] | Mom, Dad! | 爸 妈 |
| [12:31] | Are you sure it was out here? | 你确定放这儿了吗 |
| [12:36] | You guys, Someone stole my bike! | 有人又把我车偷走了 |
| [12:38] | The bike you just bought? You already lost it? | 你刚买就丢了 |
| [12:41] | Don’t you remember what the bear said? | 还记得大熊说的吗 |
| [12:43] | You have to be more responsible. | 负起责任来 |
| [12:47] | Tyler, we are out $300. | 泰勒 我们已经借你三百了 |
| [12:50] | No, now you’re out $600 ’cause you have to loan me $300 to get another bike. | 再借我三百吧 我还得去买辆车 |
| [12:54] | Man, this is a nightmare for all of us. | 老天 丢辆车咱们都受罪 |
| [12:57] | You expect us to buy you another bike after you just lost two? | 你丢了两辆自行车 还想让我们再买一辆 |
| [13:01] | Oh, good. You understand. I thought we were going to have | 你们明白就好 我还以为 |
| [13:04] | a whole to-do about this. I think I’m going to get a blue one next. | 咱得吵半天才有结果 下一辆买蓝的好了 |
| [13:08] | We are not going to keep buying you bikes if you’re going to keep losing them. | 要是你老这么丢车 我们一分钱都不会出 |
| [13:12] | Why would we throw good money after bad? | 你以为钱是从树上长出来的 |
| [13:14] | That’s the sunk-cost fallacy! | 这叫”沉没成本谬论” |
| [13:16] | I learned that on a money show I watch for my mouse business. | 我看金融节目学来的 卖老鼠可不是简单生意 |
| [13:20] | It’s called Screaming About Stocks with a guy who screams about stocks! | 节目叫”抱怨股票” 主持人咆哮着抱怨股票 |
| [13:27] | Look, I’m not losing the bikes, somebody keeps taking them. | 车不是我丢的 是被人偷的 |
| [13:30] | Please, I promise I won’t let this next bike out of my sight. | 拜托 我保证这回吃饭上厕所都抱着车不撒手 |
| [13:34] | If anything happens to it, I’ll quit BMX and get regular job to pay you back. | 要是又出了事 我就放弃自行车越野 找份正经工作还您钱 |
| [13:38] | -What kind of regular job? -Uh… | -啥正经工作 -那个 |
| [13:41] | Try technology! It’s going through the roof! | 科技有关的 现代科技发展超级迅速 |
| [13:48] | I can’t believe Max isn’t going to drop out! | 麦克斯居然不愿意退出竞选 |
| [13:51] | If she wants a fight, I’ll give her a fight. | 她想玩 姐陪她玩 |
| [13:54] | A very good fight. | 玩到她求饶”I 服了” |
| [13:58] | Come on! Avery, a very? Someone has to get that! | “I 服了” 艾芙莉 听不出来吗 |
| [14:02] | So, if I’m understanding you correctly, | 所以你是想说 |
| [14:05] | we are going wide with the Fleabag Max video. | 咱可以把”跳蚤女王麦克斯”视频昭告天下了 |
| [14:08] | I already made the plushie. | 我连同款毛绒玩具都做好了 |
| [14:12] | Stan, why do you keep making plushies? | 斯坦 你没事老做毛绒玩具干啥 |
| [14:14] | I’d have thought you learned your lesson from this. | 这个还没让你学着教训吗 |
| [14:19] | Or these? | 还有那些呢 |
| [14:22] | Why don’t stores want those? They’re adorable! | 萌死了好吗 玩具店老板都是傻子 |
| [14:26] | And they’re not even radioactive like the first batch. | 而且这已经比第一批带辐射的好多了 |
| [14:30] | So, about that cat video? | 所以那个视频 |
| [14:33] | Stan, the cat video is not a serious political statement. | 斯坦 那个视频不是正经的政治声明 |
| [14:36] | It’s just a joke. | 就是个笑话 |
| [14:39] | And a joke is exactly what I need. | 也许我正需要笑话 |
| [14:43] | Max is running a joke campaign, | 麦克斯的竞选就是个笑话 |
| [14:45] | and everyone loves it. If I do show your Fleabag Max video | 大家都喜欢得不得了 要是咱把视频公开 |
| [14:50] | People will think I’m funny and it will make Max look ridiculous. | 他们就会爱上我 把麦克斯当成真的笑话 |
| [14:53] | And you know what else will win you votes? | 教你个拉票的好招儿 |
| [14:55] | Hand these out: | 把这些送出去 |
| [14:56] | There’s the sugar! | 笑一个 宝贝 |
| [14:58] | You see that? It talks. | 看 还说话呢 |
| [15:00] | It has an electronic voice box just like me. | 和我一样 体内有电子音箱 |
| [15:03] | Naw, I’m kidding. I’m a regular talking dog. | 好啦 开玩笑 我就是只普通的会说话的狗 |
| [15:12] | Thanks for letting me be a part of your stake-out, Tyler. | 泰勒 多谢你让我也来盯梢 |
| [15:15] | -This is pretty cool. -I just hope we catch the thief. | -真有意思 -只要能抓着小偷就行 |
| [15:17] | Mom and Dad will see that I wasn’t just being irresponsible. | 必须让爸妈看到我负责的一面 |
| [15:20] | At least not the second time. | 至少第二次和我没关系 |
| [15:21] | I’m still not sure about the first bike. | 第一辆车有可能 |
| [15:23] | I am pretty irresponsible. | 我的确挺不负责的 |
| [15:26] | Feel free to take a nap while I keep watch. | 困就打个盹吧 我帮你盯着 |
| [15:29] | Thanks, but we’re out here for an important reason. | 谢了 不过咱们是来干正经的 |
| [15:31] | Look what I found stowed away in a box in the garage. | 看 我在车库里找着的 |
| [15:35] | Blankie! | 小巾巾 |
| [15:38] | Oh, Blankie. | 我最爱的小巾巾 |
| [15:50] | No! Chloe wake up! We missed it, someone stole my bike! | 完了 克洛伊 醒醒 小偷已经来过了 |
| [15:55] | Tyler, how could this happen again? | 泰勒 咋又来了 |
| [15:58] | And again! And again! | 还有第二次 第三次 |
| [16:02] | Mom and Dad are gonna freak! | 爸妈该气疯了 |
| [16:04] | Oh, no! | 天哪 |
| [16:07] | It’s okay, I rigged the bike with blue dye, | 没关系 我给车涂了层蓝色染料 |
| [16:09] | so whoever took it will have blue hands. | 小偷现在肯定满手都是 |
| [16:16] | Tyler, we will those blue-handed people, whoever they are. | 泰勒 咱肯定能找到那个蓝手人 |
| [16:23] | Chloe, you took my bike? | 克洛伊 你偷了我的车 |
| [16:25] | That is, I mean are you… | 哎哟 你咋 |
| [16:29] | Oh, Tyler. Yes. | 你太幽默了 是的 |
| [16:33] | They’re in my room. | 都在我房间里 |
| [16:35] | You took my other bikes, too? | 前两辆也是你偷的 |
| [16:37] | Why would you do this to me? | 你为啥要这么对我 |
| [16:39] | I put my whole BMX career on the line. | 我差点放弃自行车越野 |
| [16:41] | I don’t want you to do BMX. | 我不想让你干这行了 |
| [16:43] | You keep leaving all the time. | 你现在总不在家 |
| [16:46] | You’re my big brother. We used to do so much together. | 你是我哥哥 咱俩曾经密不可分 |
| [16:50] | You got my ears pierced. You taught my how to make mouth milk. | 是你帮我穿的耳洞 教我怎么用嘴自制奶 |
| [16:53] | I probably won’t use that one, but I know it. | 虽然我不大可能这么喝奶 |
| [16:58] | I miss you. | 我想你了 |
| [17:04] | Chloe. I’m getting to be an adult now, and I’m chasing my dreams. | 克洛伊 我要成年了 我必须去追寻自己的梦想 |
| [17:09] | And one day, you will, too. | 有一天你也会的 |
| [17:12] | I will always be close. | 但咱们永远都会相亲相爱 |
| [17:14] | You’re my little sister. | 你可是我妹妹 |
| [17:17] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [17:19] | I love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [17:21] | Sorry about your shirt. | 抱歉 把你衬衫弄脏了 |
| [17:26] | Hey, how come Mom didn’t find the bikes when she cleaned your room? | 老妈给你收拾屋子时怎么没发现我的车 |
| [17:29] | I’m going to vacuum your room. | 我要去你屋里除尘了 |
| [17:31] | Okay, let me know if you find the snake that escaped. | 好吧 找着丢了的那条蛇喊我一声 |
| [17:33] | -It’s been eating all my mice. -Maybe later. | -把我捉的老鼠都吃了 -回头再收拾吧 |
| [17:36] | Maybe later. | 回头收拾 |
| [17:41] | And I approve this message. | 为此视频授权 |
| [17:43] | Which is also not true. | 同样也纯属虚构 |
| [17:45] | So, when the debate starts, I’ll queue you | 等辩论开始 我使个眼色 |
| [17:47] | and you’ll play this Fleabag Max video through the projector. | 你就在大屏幕上放这个视频 |
| [17:50] | Avery, I can’t play that! I mean, it’s hilarious. | 艾芙莉 那怎么行 看视频图个乐可以 |
| [17:53] | She’s gonna poop on the beach? | 她在海滩上方便那段简直好笑疯了 |
| [17:55] | But, it’ll humiliate her. | 可是不能当众羞辱她呀 |
| [17:57] | But, it’s funny. | 这视频多有意思啊 |
| [17:59] | Don’t you remember what happened to Timmy Sperlock? | 你忘记小蒂米啦 |
| [18:01] | One day he wore a black and white sweater to school and now | 有天他穿了件黑白相间的毛衣来学校 |
| [18:03] | everyone calls him Skunk Boy. He sits alone at lunch. | 大家就都开始叫他”臭鼬” 全体把他孤立了 |
| [18:06] | -Partly because he’s a jerk. -Yeah, but still. | -跟他脾气不好也有关系 -可是孤孤单单的多难受啊 |
| [18:11] | Max will be fine. No, people latch on | -麦克斯不会在乎啦 -不行 |
| [18:13] | to one little thing and you’re stuck with it for the next four years. | 大家逮着一个把柄就会抓住不放 你想让麦克斯 |
| [18:16] | Do you want people calling her Fleabag Max? | 整个高中生涯都被人叫”跳蚤女王”吗 |
| [18:19] | She’s your friend. | 你们可是朋友 |
| [18:22] | She’s not my friend. She’s my competitor. | 已经不是了 现在她是我的对手 |
| [18:25] | Oh, Avery. | 艾芙莉 三思而后行啊 |
| [18:37] | Faculty, fellow students, and those of you who just wanted to ditch fifth period, | 上午好 全体教职员工 同学们和只是想翘课的朋友们 |
| [18:42] | What? | 好笑吧 |
| [18:44] | Always open with a joke. | 幽默感非常重要 |
| [18:47] | There’s the sugar! | 笑一个 宝贝 |
| [18:51] | Stan, do not pass those out in the middle of my speech. | 斯坦 我讲话呢 待会儿再发玩具不行啊 |
| [18:59] | Now, in lieu of my introductory remarks, I would like to play this video. | 我想用一个视频来做开场白 |
| [19:14] | But I can’t. | 但是 我发现这样不合适 |
| [19:19] | I decided to run for office to start on my path | 我今天参加竞选 是希望能够 |
| [19:22] | to helping people and making a difference. | 尽自己所能为大家做出贡献 |
| [19:25] | But I almost did something really horrible. | 可过程中 我差点犯了个大错 |
| [19:28] | I wanted to win the election so much that I lost myself, | 为了赢得竞选 我迷失了自我 |
| [19:32] | and I almost lost my friend. | 还几乎失去了一个好友 |
| [19:36] | Max, I am so, so, sorry that I asked you to drop out. | 麦克斯 我根本不该让你退出选举 真对不起 |
| [19:42] | You have as much right to run as I do. | 你和我一样有资格站在这里 |
| [19:46] | Fellow students. | 同学们 |
| [19:48] | I don’t care! I don’t care! | 关我鸟事 关我鸟事 |
| [19:54] | I have a confession to make. I do care. | 我想对大家坦白 其实 大小事我都关心的 |
| [20:00] | I care about Avery. I am so sorry Avery. | 我关心艾芙莉 对不起 艾芙莉 |
| [20:05] | You asked me to do you a favor and I got so carried away with the attention. | 本来我只是想帮你个忙 可是被那么多人热捧 我头脑发热了 |
| [20:10] | I mean, I am an honorary Dude Icorn now. How cool is that? | 我现在都成”独角兽兄弟连”的一员了 简直做梦一样 |
| [20:17] | But the point is, I lost sight of what’s important. | 但是我忘记了最重要的东西 |
| [20:20] | Your friendship. | 咱们的友谊 |
| [20:27] | I don’t even want to vote against you. | 我绝对不会投你的反对票 |
| [20:28] | So, I’m just not going to vote. | 干脆不投了 |
| [20:30] | I’m not going to vote against you either. | 我也不会投你的反对票 |
| [20:35] | -Hey, where’d everybody go? -They got bored by your long, | -嘿 人都去哪儿了 -被你俩肉麻的演讲 |
| [20:38] | mushy speeches and left. | 无聊走了 |
| [20:42] | -So, nobody voted? -Well, I did. | -那大家都没投票 -我投了 |
| [20:45] | -You’re the only vote? -I didn’t know that at the time. | -就你一人投了 -我当时哪儿知道会有这情况 |
| [20:48] | -Who’d you vote for? -I couldn’t choose between you two, | -你投的谁 -我不想背叛你俩 |
| [20:50] | so I just wrote in my name. | 就把自己名字写上了 |
| [20:52] | You’re the class president? | 你是新班长 |
| [20:55] | I guess so. I don’t how to be president, | 好像是耶 我根本不知道咋当班长 |
| [20:58] | but I will take it seriously and work really… | 但我保证会认真对待工作 |
| [21:00] | Oh, balloons! | 气球 |
| [21:06] | I guess we get the government we deserve. | 咱俩这是自作自受 |
| [21:11] | Losing this election makes for a great first | 竞选失败成了我回忆录完美的开头 |
| [21:13] | chapter in my memoir, since I learned the important | 它让我明白了 成功不重要 |
| [21:16] | lesson that what kind of person you are | 重要的是 |
| [21:18] | matters more than winning. | 如何做人 |
| [21:20] | I also learned that I look great in harem pants. | 还发现我穿灯笼裤很好看 |
| [21:26] | And… | 跟着我来 |
| [21:34] | So, I finally sold my first pair of harem pants. | 我终于卖出了第一条灯笼裤 |
| [21:38] | And my stint as a campaign manager was a huge success. | 作为短期的竞选参谋也大获成功 |
| [21:42] | We only lost by one vote. | 毕竟我们只输了一票嘛 |
| [21:48] | Chloe, it is not okay to steal. | 克洛伊 偷窃是不对的 |
| [21:50] | Even if you are doing it out of love. | 出于爱也不行 |
| [21:52] | Tyler can’t return those new custom bikes, | 泰勒没法还那些量身定做的车 |
| [21:55] | so you’re going to have to pay for them out of your mouse money. | 所以你要用卖老鼠挣的钱还债 |
| [21:57] | It’s not just mice, anymore. | 我不止卖老鼠了 |
| [21:59] | I’m expanding my business. I’ve got lizards, spiders, and one turkey vulture. | 我开拓了业务 现在还卖蜥蜴 蜘蛛和一只土耳其秃鹰 |
| [22:04] | I really got to shut my window at night. | 晚上睡觉得开始关窗户了 |
| [22:08] | I am never vacuuming your room again. | 我永远都不进你屋吸尘了 |
| [22:11] | You know what, Chloe’s been a really good sister. | 克洛伊是个好妹妹 |
| [22:15] | I’m paying for half of it. | 我替她出一半钱吧 |
| [22:17] | Where are you getting the money, Tyler? | 泰勒 你哪儿来的钱 |
| [22:19] | Well, I decided to sell my animatronic bear. | 我把电子熊卖了 |
| [22:21] | Who’d you sell it to? | 卖给谁了 |
| [22:23] | Hello, there, Stan, how are you? | 你好啊 斯坦 最近咋样 |
| [22:28] | Why are talking animals so funny? | 会说话的动物太好玩了 |