时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:06] | Oh sure, just leave that old skin anywhere. | 行啊 就把你们的死皮到处放吧 |
[00:09] | Dirty reptiles. | 你们这些肮脏的爬行动物 |
[00:12] | Stan, I’m bouncing off the walls. | 斯坦 我兴奋死了 |
[00:14] | Tomorrow is the first day of school, and I just want to get there already. | 明天就要开学了 我真想现在就到学校去 |
[00:18] | If only I could fast forward through time. | 我要是能让时间过得快些就好了 |
[00:20] | Do what dogs do to skip over the boring parts of life: Nap. | 你可以试试用狗狗的方法来跳过那些无聊的时间 打个盹儿 |
[00:23] | That’s what I was doing while you were talking just now. | 你刚刚说话的时候我就是这么做的 |
[00:26] | All I heard was, “Stan, I’m bouncing off the…” | 我听到的就只有 斯坦 我兴奋 |
[00:28] | Fast forward through time. | 时间过得快些就好了 |
[00:30] | I’m too excited to nap. | 我太激动了睡不着 |
[00:33] | I’m gonna be a high school freshman. | 我就要成为一个高中新生啦 |
[00:35] | No! | 不 |
[00:37] | It should be fresh-woman. | 应该是高中新女生 |
[00:38] | No! Fresh-person. | 不对 高中新人 |
[00:39] | Consider “fresh-mammal.” | 要不就叫“新哺乳动物”吧 |
[00:41] | It’s more inclusive, while keeping out those dirty reptiles. | 更有概括性 还能跟那些肮脏的爬行动物区分开来 |
[00:47] | I’m pretty stoked that I’m going to be a senior now. | 我也很激动 我现在是高三生了 |
[00:49] | I get the senior discount at the movies | 我可以享受高三生电影优惠 |
[00:51] | and the early bird special at the diner. | 还有餐厅的早到者礼品 |
[00:54] | Tyler, that’s for senior citizens. | 泰勒 那是老人才能享受的优惠 |
[00:56] | Oh, that’s why there are so many old ladies | 哦 怪不得我的游泳健美班里 |
[00:58] | at my swim aerobics class at the senior center. | 有那么多老太太 |
[01:03] | Well, I’m still excited about the senior prank | 对了 我还打算在去学校的第一天 |
[01:04] | I’m gonna pull on the first day of school. | 来个毕业生恶作剧 简直太振奋人心了 |
[01:07] | Wait, aren’t senior pranks usually at the end of the year? | 等等 毕业生恶作剧不应该是在学期末才搞的吗 |
[01:09] | But if you do it at the end of the year, then you’re gone. | 可是如果你在学期末搞的话 很快就要离开学校了呀 |
[01:11] | You don’t get to baste in the glory. | 你就不能尝到这种荣誉了 |
[01:15] | You “baste” in the juices of meat. | 你只能尝到肉的味道 |
[01:17] | And even if it weren’t a senior citizen center… | 而且就算那不是个老年俱乐部 |
[01:20] | Really? | 你是认真的吗 |
[01:21] | Swim aerobics? | 游泳健美 |
[01:22] | It’s low impact and it’s very satisfying being the best one. | 这项目强度很低 而且做最优秀的人的感觉真的很棒 |
[01:26] | And about this basting thing, tell me more about the meaty juices. | 还有关于能不能尝到的问题 再跟我说说肉的味道吧 |
[01:30] | Oh, and talk real slow. | 对了 要说得很慢很慢 |
[01:34] | Check this out. | 看看这个 |
[01:36] | I planned the perfect prank. | 我已经做好完美的恶作剧计划了 |
[01:37] | I’m gonna run the groundskeeper’s hose | 我要把园丁的水管拖到学校公共区域去 |
[01:39] | into the school commons and get everything wet. | 把所有东西都弄湿 |
[01:42] | Tyler, there’s nothing the least bit clever about that. | 泰勒 你就不能做得聪明点吗 |
[01:44] | Right, like you could do better. | 是啊 说得好像你能比我做得更好 |
[01:46] | Please. | 拜托 |
[01:47] | I could do so much better. | 我能比你做得好太多了好吗 |
[01:50] | But pranks are against the rules, so you’re on your own. | 但是恶作剧是违反规矩的 所以我不会帮你 |
[01:52] | Fine. | 好吧 |
[01:54] | All the puddles. Classic. | 想到那些水洼我就兴奋 太经典了 |
[01:57] | No. No, it’s not! | 不 不 才不是呢 |
[01:58] | If you just ran the hose… | 如果你把水管 |
[02:00] | Rules exist for a reason. | 规矩的存在自有其原因 |
[02:02] | Everything will be wet! | 全都会湿漉漉的 |
[02:04] | Rules are important but so is doing things right! | 规矩很重要 可是把事情做对也很重要 |
[02:10] | You just came up with this lame prank on purpose | 你是故意想出这种下三滥的恶作剧的 |
[02:13] | knowing I wouldn’t be able to resist fixing it, didn’t you? | 就知道我肯定忍不住改进它 是吗 |
[02:15] | Yep, thought of it at the senior center | 是啊 我在老人俱乐部 |
[02:17] | while I was playing pinochle with Mildred and the girls. | 跟米尔德雷德和女生们打牌的时候想出来的 |
[02:21] | Told you that would work, Stan. | 就跟你说这招管用的啦 斯坦 |
[02:23] | Stan? | 斯坦 |
[02:24] | Stan, are you in there… | 斯坦 你在里面 |
[02:26] | Basting in meaty juices? | 舔肉汁吗 |
[02:29] | Maybe. | 可能吧 |
[02:31] | As I was basting, I got to thinking about pranks, | 我在舔的时候 想起了恶作剧的事情 |
[02:35] | and decided to try one on Robert. | 然后决定用罗伯特来试一试 |
[02:37] | He thought he was reaching for a banana. | 他以为他能拿到那根香蕉呢 |
[02:43] | Oh, Robert, the look on your face. | 哦 罗伯特 看看你那表情 |
[02:45] | It’s priceless! | 真是太经典了 |
[03:07] | Can you believe it? | 你能相信吗 |
[03:09] | We’re finally in high school. | 我们终于进高中了 |
[03:11] | I know it’s the same commons for high school and middle school, | 我知道这里是高中部和初中部的公共区域 |
[03:13] | but it feels so different. | 可是现在感觉太不一样了 |
[03:16] | Nothing’s different. | 没什么不一样的 |
[03:18] | They haven’t even taken the banner down from three months ago. | 这个横幅都挂这儿三个月了 |
[03:21] | “Have a great summer.” | “度过一个美好的夏天” |
[03:22] | I had a lousy one. | 我这个夏天过得挺糟的 |
[03:24] | No banner’s gonna tell me what to do. | 横幅可别想告诉我该干嘛 |
[03:28] | Hey, Lindsay, you’re not wearing a hat. | 嘿 琳赛 你不戴帽子啦 |
[03:31] | You look great. I love the new look. | 你看起来真不错 我喜欢你的新造型 |
[03:32] | Yeah. It wasn’t intentional. | 是啊 可我不是特意这样的 |
[03:33] | My hat blew off. I look like a freak! | 我的帽子被吹掉了 我看起来就跟个怪胎一样 |
[03:35] | I need to hide! | 我得藏起来 |
[03:37] | So how is everyone? | 好吧 大家过得怎么样 |
[03:41] | Well, I’m really excited for fresh-mammal year | 好吧 对于这个新哺乳动物年 我觉得很兴奋 |
[03:44] | That’s a thing I promised somebody I’d try. | 我答应别人要这么说话来着 |
[03:46] | Didn’t work. Forget it ever happened. | 没用啊 算了吧 就当没发生过 |
[03:49] | Oh, there’s the new principal. | 哦 那个是新的校长 |
[03:51] | Apparently, he’s always eavesdropping on students’ conversations. | 显然他很喜欢偷听学生的谈话 |
[03:54] | I heard that. | 我听见了 |
[03:56] | I listen to you kids to make sure that you’re following the rules. | 我听你们说话是为了确保你们好好遵守规矩 |
[03:58] | I’m a stickler for rules. Here. | 我可是个坚守规矩的人 看 |
[04:00] | Have a “stickler for rules” sticker. | 我有张坚守规矩的便利贴 |
[04:02] | But don’t stick them on school property. | 你们可别把它粘在学校公共财物上啊 |
[04:03] | That’s a rule. | 那可是条规矩 |
[04:06] | You guys ready for the best senior prank ever? | 你们准备好迎接史上最强毕业生恶作剧没 |
[04:08] | – Aren’t senior pranks supposed to be… – at the end of the year, | -毕业生恶作剧不是该 -在学期末 |
[04:11] | Yes, but this way I can… | 是啊 可这样我能 |
[04:13] | Enjoy the glory. | 享受这份荣耀 |
[04:15] | Couldn’t remember if it was “bask” | 你是没记清楚该说“尝到” |
[04:16] | or “baste,” could you? | 还是“得到” 对吧 |
[04:18] | No, I could not but I found a workaround. | 是啊 我没记起来 可我换了个说法 |
[04:20] | So the prank is ready to go. | 恶作剧就要开始了 |
[04:22] | Countdown to awesome! | 为接下来的好戏倒数 |
[04:24] | 10… 9… | 十 九 |
[04:26] | Awesome! | 好戏开场 |
[04:37] | Water slide! | 滑水梯 |
[04:50] | What happened? What’s going on? | 怎么回事 发生了什么 |
[04:53] | That’s right. | 这就对了 |
[04:54] | Listen up, everybody! | 大家给我听好啦 |
[04:55] | I’m Tyler James. | 我叫泰勒·詹姆斯 |
[04:56] | And I did this. | 这是我做的 |
[04:59] | I heard that. | 我听见了 |
[05:02] | Though the way you shouted, even my mom in Tucson heard it. | 你喊得这么大声 我那远在图森的老妈都听见了 |
[05:04] | She called to say, “get that Tyler James kid.” | 她打电话来跟我说 “把那个叫泰勒·詹姆斯的小屁孩抓起来” |
[05:06] | So I will. | 所以我就要这么做 |
[05:10] | You’re expelled. | 你被开除了 |
[05:13] | Making you proud, mama! | 为我自豪吧 妈妈 |
[05:16] | Everybody to class! Here we go. | 大家都去上课吧 去去去 |
[05:23] | What is going on? | 到底发生了什么事 |
[05:28] | Go ahead. It’s your move, boo. | 继续呀 该你了 宝贝儿 |
[05:31] | Are they still pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend? | 他们还在假装男女朋友吗 |
[05:34] | It’s developmentally appropriate role-playing at this age. | 在这个年纪玩这种角色扮演的游戏对儿童心智发育没坏处 |
[05:37] | Like when we make cleaning the house | 就像我们清扫房子的时候 |
[05:39] | more fun by pretending to be dust thieves. | 装作尘土小偷会有趣得多 |
[05:40] | That’s not role-playing. | 那不叫角色扮演 |
[05:42] | That’s just you being… super cute. | 那只是你太 可爱了 |
[05:48] | I don’t like that. | 我不喜欢这个结果 |
[05:49] | I’m going to try again. | 我要再来一遍 |
[05:50] | Wait, you don’t get to go again. | 等等 不能扔两次 |
[05:52] | You rolled a seven, you have to move seven. | 你扔了个七 就该走七步 |
[05:54] | Tiffany lets me roll until I get a number I like. | 蒂芙妮就会让我一直扔到我喜欢的数字为止 |
[05:57] | Who’s Tiffany? | 蒂芙妮是谁 |
[05:58] | One of my other girlfriends. | 我其他女朋友之一 |
[06:00] | One, two, three… | 一 二 三 |
[06:01] | Whoa! Back up. | 等等 先别 |
[06:02] | Three, two, one. | 三 二 一 |
[06:04] | I don’t mean back up your piece. | 我不是让你的棋子退回去 |
[06:06] | I mean, how many girlfriends do you have? | 我是想问 你有多少个女朋友 |
[06:11] | You have four? | 有四个 |
[06:12] | Yes. | 对啊 |
[06:15] | You can’t have four. | 你不能有四个女朋友 |
[06:16] | We never said we wouldn’t have play dates with other people. | 我们从来没说过不能和别人一起玩呀 |
[06:19] | Where’s your bathroom? | 你家洗手间在哪 |
[06:24] | I can’t believe it, Stan. | 真是不敢相信 斯坦 |
[06:26] | He’s having play dates with other girls. | 他居然还和别的女生一起玩 |
[06:28] | What should I do? | 我该怎么做好 |
[06:30] | Should I break up with him? | 要跟他分手吗 |
[06:31] | I don’t know, Chloe. | 我也不清楚啊 克洛伊 |
[06:33] | On the one hand, if you want a committed relationship | 一方面 如果你想要一个坚定的感情 |
[06:35] | and he can’t give you that, then you shouldn’t invest time | 而他没法给你 那你就不应该把时间浪费在 |
[06:38] | where there’s no future. | 没有未来的感情上面 |
[06:39] | On the other hand, you’re both eight! | 另一方面 你们都才八岁 |
[06:43] | Thanks, Stan. | 谢谢啦 斯坦 |
[06:44] | I think I know what I need to do. | 我想我知道该怎么做了 |
[06:46] | I couldn’t find the bathroom, but I found the banana room. | 我没找到洗手间 可我找到了有香蕉的地方 |
[06:49] | You mean the kitchen? | 你是说厨房吗 |
[06:52] | Mason, I can’t see you anymore. | 梅森 我以后都不能再见你了 |
[06:53] | I’m right here. | 我就在这儿呀 |
[06:56] | No, I can see you but I just can’t be your girlfriend anymore. | 不 我能看见你 但是我不能再当你的女朋友了 |
[07:00] | I don’t understand. | 我不明白 |
[07:02] | Is it because I peed in your banana room? | 是因为我在你们放香蕉的房间尿尿了吗 |
[07:04] | No. | 不 |
[07:06] | It’s because you have other girlfriends. | 是因为你还有别的女朋友 |
[07:08] | And now it’s also partly because you peed in my banana room. | 现在还有部分原因是你在我们蕉房里尿尿了 |
[07:16] | Oh, boy. | 哦 天哪 |
[07:18] | Honey, I know something’s been bothering you lately. | 亲爱的 我知道你最近有点烦 |
[07:22] | What is it? | 是什么原因呢 |
[07:24] | I think my thumbs are shrinking. | 我觉得我的拇指都萎缩了 |
[07:27] | Honey, you’re just pulling them down. | 亲爱的 你只是在把它们往下拉罢了 |
[07:28] | I’m just giving you a time lapse of what it’s going to look like in a year. | 我只是想给你看看它们一年后的样子 |
[07:33] | Tell me, Bennett. | 快告诉我 班尼特 |
[07:34] | Tell me. What do you think? | 告诉我 你是怎么想的 |
[07:38] | Tyler! Hey, buddy. | 泰勒 你来得正好 |
[07:39] | How was school today? | 今天在学校过得怎么样呀 |
[07:41] | Oh, you haven’t heard? | 哦 你还没听说吗 |
[07:42] | Heard what? | 听说什么 |
[07:43] | How awesome you guys are. | 听说你们有多棒啊 |
[07:45] | Yeah, I… all I could talk about at school was | 呃我 我在学校能跟别人说起的就只有 |
[07:47] | how awesome and understanding my parents are. | 我父母有多棒有多理解我了 |
[07:48] | You got expelled? | 你被开除了 |
[07:51] | How did you get that from awesome and understanding? | 你们是怎么从棒和理解上面得出这个结论的 |
[07:53] | The same way we knew that “I want to grow up to be like both of you” meant… | 就跟我们知道“我希望长大后能跟你们一样优秀”的意思是 |
[07:57] | “The reindeer from the Christmas tree lot is tied up in my bedroom.” | “我把圣诞树卖场的驯鹿绑在卧室里了” |
[08:01] | This was just a fun prank. | 不就是个好玩的恶作剧嘛 |
[08:03] | And it was nothing like that Blitzen incident. | 又不是布利岑事件 |
[08:05] | In this case, no-one got scratched by an antler, stepped on by a hoof, | 这次又没人被鹿角伤到 也没人被鹿蹄踩到 |
[08:08] | or had their ear viciously nibbled. | 也没有人的耳朵被咬呀 |
[08:09] | Why did he do all those things to me? | 他为什么要对我做这些呢 |
[08:12] | Look, this is serious, Tyler. | 情况很严重 泰勒 |
[08:14] | Getting expelled is the worst punishment you can get. | 被开除已经是最严重的惩罚了 |
[08:16] | No, losing your trust is the worst punishment | 不 失去了你们对我的信任才是最严重的惩罚 |
[08:18] | because you’re the greatest parents ever. | 因为你们是最好的父母 |
[08:20] | You’re calling us from jail? | 你要进监狱了 |
[08:24] | Mom, dad, don’t be so mad at Tyler. | 妈妈 爸爸 别对泰勒这么生气啦 |
[08:27] | Getting expelled wasn’t all his fault. | 被开除也不全是他的错 |
[08:29] | Oh, really? Whose fault was it? | 哦是吗 那是谁的错啊 |
[08:30] | Mine. | 我的 |
[08:31] | It was all my fault. | 全都是我的错 |
[08:32] | Tyler, you don’t have to do that. | 泰勒 你不必这么做的 |
[08:34] | Avery, thanks for trying to help. | 艾芙莉 谢谢你想帮我 |
[08:36] | But I’m going to have to accept responsibility for this. | 但我得自己承担起这份责任 |
[08:38] | Well, I just don’t know what to say, Tyler. | 我不知道该说什么好了 |
[08:39] | I was hoping you would graduate | 我只是想在我还能够 |
[08:41] | while I was still able to give you the thumbs up. | 为你举起拇指的时候看到你毕业 |
[08:43] | Time is running out. | 时间在流逝 |
[08:48] | The whole prank was my idea, Stan. | 整个恶作剧都是我想出来的 斯坦 |
[08:50] | And when I started to say that, Tyler jumped in and took all the blame. | 我正想坦白的时候 泰勒就打断我 帮我背了黑锅 |
[08:54] | And are you wearing my dad’s bike shorts? | 你穿的是老爸的自行车短裤吗 |
[08:57] | What choice do I have if I want to ride a bike? | 我想骑自行车的时候 还能穿什么呢 |
[09:00] | Good point. | 有道理 |
[09:01] | I just feel so guilty about Tyler. | 我只是觉得很亏欠泰勒 |
[09:03] | When dogs feel guilty, we put our tail between our legs. | 我们狗狗觉得愧疚的时候 就会把尾巴放到两腿之间 |
[09:06] | I don’t have a tail. | 我又没有尾巴 |
[09:07] | So you’re saying I may not have helped you | 所以你的意思是 即便我把你的裤子 |
[09:10] | by cutting holes in the back of all your pants. | 背面都剪了个洞也没有帮到你的忙吗 |
[09:12] | Man, I feel really bad about that. | 天啊 我真的觉得好愧疚 |
[09:17] | It’s just not right that I’m not sharing the blame. | 让他一个人背黑锅真的不好 |
[09:19] | Not that I’d get in trouble anyway. | 反正我也不会怎么样 |
[09:22] | Teachers love me. | 老师们都很喜欢我 |
[09:23] | In fact, I bet if I confess, nothing will even happen to me | 事实上 我觉得就算我坦白了也不会有什么后果 |
[09:26] | and Tyler won’t be in trouble anymore. | 这样泰勒也不会有麻烦了 |
[09:28] | I’ll probably get a school spirit medal. | 搞不好我还能拿到校园精神奖牌呢 |
[09:30] | You’re expelled. | 你被开除了 |
[09:31] | That’s not a school spirit medal. | 这可不是校园精神奖牌 |
[09:38] | Ride a bike… | 骑自行车 |
[09:40] | Check. | 完成 |
[09:42] | Geez, there’s no rule against this. | 天哪 可惜没有规矩管这种事儿 |
[09:46] | I don’t know what to do. | 我还真不知道该怎么办了 |
[09:53] | What do you mean, I’m expelled? | 你说什么 我被开除了 |
[09:55] | How can I be expelled? | 我怎么会被开除呢 |
[10:00] | You just told me that you planned the one yesterday with your brother. | 你刚刚才告诉我你跟你哥哥密谋了昨天的恶作剧 |
[10:03] | But principal Lawson… | 可是劳森校长 |
[10:05] | I am no longer your principal, | 我不再是你的校长了 |
[10:07] | so you can call me Tim. | 所以你可以叫我蒂姆 |
[10:09] | I know that doesn’t make this better, but it’s a fact. | 我也知道这样不会让你感觉好受点 但这是个事实 |
[10:14] | Avery… | 艾芙莉 |
[10:15] | What just happened? | 刚刚发生了什么事请 |
[10:17] | I can’t be expelled from school. | 我不能被学校开除啊 |
[10:19] | This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. | 这是发生在我身上的最糟糕的事情了 |
[10:22] | Oh, Avery… | 哦 艾芙莉 |
[10:24] | Come here. | 过来 |
[10:29] | I’m sorry, guys. | 对不起 |
[10:31] | I laugh in upsetting situations. | 我总会在沮丧的时候笑出声 |
[10:32] | I’m a sad-laugher. | 我是个伤心时会笑的人 |
[10:34] | It’s a thing. | 是真的 |
[10:36] | This is sad. | 我太难过了 |
[10:37] | I love school more than anything. | 我最喜欢学校了 |
[10:39] | Oh, Avery… | 哦 艾芙莉 |
[10:46] | I’m trying to get help. | 我一直在寻求帮助 |
[10:47] | I’m in a support group. There they are now. | 我现在就在一个咨询小组 你看那边 |
[10:51] | Cindy’s boyfriend just broke up with her. | 辛迪最近跟她男朋友分手了 |
[10:57] | How could they expel you? | 他们怎么能开除你呢 |
[10:58] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
[11:00] | Tim just wouldn’t listen. | 蒂姆不肯听我解释 |
[11:04] | Now how will I get into a top college? | 这下我怎么能进重点大学呢 |
[11:07] | How will I become president one day with this black mark on my record? | 档案上有这样一个污点 我怎么可能成为总统呢 |
[11:11] | It’ll be okay, Avery. We’ll figure something out. | 没事的 艾芙莉 我们会帮你想办法的 |
[11:14] | We’ll just dig up worse dirt on your political opponents. | 我们会给你的政敌挖出更大的污点 |
[11:18] | But I wanted to run a clean campaign. | 可是我想公正地竞选 |
[11:22] | The leaks will never be traced back to you. | 这种脏事不会让你来承担的 |
[11:25] | Trust your mother. | 相信妈妈 |
[11:32] | Okay, Chloe. Go get it. | 好 克洛伊 去捡吧 |
[11:39] | I don’t think this is how fetch is supposed to work. | 我觉得捡球游戏不该这么玩 |
[11:41] | No, I’m pretty sure it is. | 不 我很确定就是这样的 |
[11:45] | Hi, Chloe. | 你好呀 克洛伊 |
[11:47] | I’m here for our play date. | 我来跟你游戏约会了 |
[11:49] | No more play dates. We broke up, remember? | 再也没有游戏约会了 我们分手了 还记得吗 |
[11:52] | I thought that was just for yesterday. | 我以为那只是昨天的事 |
[11:54] | No. It’s for every day. | 不 从今以后每天都是这样的 |
[11:55] | Okay, I’ll go. See you tomorrow. | 好吧 我走了 明天见 |
[12:00] | Mason, no. That’s not what I mean. | 梅森 不 我不是这个意思 |
[12:02] | I don’t understand. | 我不明白 |
[12:04] | Man, I bet this is why they say break ups are hard. | 天啊 我总算明白为什么他们说分手很艰难了 |
[12:08] | You want to know what else is hard? | 想知道还有什么坚硬的东西吗 |
[12:10] | The floor at the bottom of a spiral staircase. | 螺旋梯底下的地板 |
[12:18] | You need to go, Mason, and think about what you really want. | 你得走了 梅森 然后想清楚你到底想要些什么 |
[12:21] | I want a pretzel. | 我想要个饼干 |
[12:24] | I get why he’s so popular with the ladies. | 我知道他为什么这么受女孩子们欢迎了 |
[12:28] | Yup. There’s something about him. | 对啊 他是有点魅力 |
[12:35] | Sweetie, you’ve been obsessing all day about being expelled. | 亲爱的 就因为开除这事你都烦了一整天了 |
[12:38] | Take your mind off of it for a little while. | 你得转移一下注意力 |
[12:40] | Come watch some judge shows with your mom. | 来跟老妈看看法制剧场吧 |
[12:42] | I can’t. I’ve got to figure out a way to get back into school. | 不行 我要找个能让我回学校的方法 |
[12:45] | I don’t have time to hear about how you would have made a fantastic judge. | 我没空听你说自己能当个多牛的法官 |
[12:48] | You know, I would have made a fantastic judge. | 我其实可以当个很牛的法官的 |
[12:51] | “You’re charged with singing songs in the shower and waking your neighbors. | 你被控诉在沐浴时大声歌唱 打扰了邻居的睡眠 |
[12:55] | I find you guilty of assault with a medley weapon.” | 我判你以混合武器攻击他人有罪 |
[12:59] | Good one, your honor. | 这个梗好 |
[13:02] | Good morning, everyone. | 大家早上好 |
[13:04] | Tyler, it’s 3 in the afternoon. | 泰勒 现在是下午三点了 |
[13:06] | Are you just waking up? | 你才刚起床吗 |
[13:10] | No. | 不是啊 |
[13:13] | So you loving your vacay as much as I am? | 你是不是也和我一样很喜欢这个假期啊 |
[13:15] | Expulsion is not vacay. Quit calling it vacay. | 被开除可不是放假 别把这当作假期 |
[13:18] | It’s a totes horb sitch. | 这全完个是悲剧 |
[13:20] | Oh, my gosh, I’ve got to get back into school. | 哦 天哪 我真的得回学校去 |
[13:22] | It’s okay. | 没事的啦 |
[13:24] | The more words you lose, the happier you’ll. | 你不记得的单词越多 你就越开心 |
[13:29] | No, Tyler. | 不 泰勒 |
[13:30] | I’ve figured it out. | 我已经想出来了 |
[13:31] | I’ve been reviewing the school bylaws. | 我在重新翻看学校的规章制度 |
[13:32] | And it says, we can appeal the expulsion to a tribunal. | 上面说 我们可以对学校的退学决定进行申诉 |
[13:36] | If we win, we’re back in. | 如果我们赢了 我们就能回学校了 |
[13:38] | No way. I like not going to. | 才不要呢 我想不回去 |
[13:43] | Well, we’re gonna have to figure out some school for you both. | 好吧 我们也得找一所适合你们俩的学校 |
[13:45] | You have to graduate. | 你们一定要毕业 |
[13:47] | I’ll go to school here. | 我就在这里上学好啦 |
[13:48] | You can do that home schooling thing. | 你可以给我做家教什么的 |
[13:50] | Tyler, home schooling is serious. | 泰勒 家教是很严肃的事情 |
[13:51] | It’s a lot of work, and I don’t know if I’m up to it. | 要做很多工作 而且我不知道我能不能应付得了 |
[13:54] | It’s not like being a TV judge where you can just say, | 又不像电视里的法官 可以直接说句 |
[13:56] | “you stole cleaning supplies from a department store. | “你在百货公司偷了清洁用品 |
[13:58] | You’re guilty of mop-lifting.” | 你被判偷拖把有罪” |
[14:01] | My judgments have a comedic bent. | 我的判决都有喜剧效果 |
[14:02] | I’m fair but funny. | 我是个公正又有趣的法官 |
[14:04] | Come on, mom. | 正经点 老妈 |
[14:06] | If you teach us, it’ll be a chance for us to bond. | 如果你来教我们的话 我们还能增进感情 |
[14:08] | I do like bonding. | 我是挺喜欢增进感情的 |
[14:11] | Mom isn’t a teacher, she’s a judge. | 老妈不是老师 她是个法官 |
[14:13] | I am more of a judge. | 我的确更像个法官 |
[14:15] | Nothing you can say will convince me that | 你说什么都没法让我相信 |
[14:17] | learning at home isn’t better than getting unexpelled. | 在家学习不比被学校开除好 |
[14:20] | If we learn at home, the hottest chick in school will be your sister. | 如果你在家学习 最漂亮的女生不过是你妹 |
[14:24] | We need to go to the tribunal and get unexpelled. | 我们得对我们的退学处分提起申诉 |
[14:30] | Hey, Chloe, you want to see my new trick? | 克洛伊 你想看看我的新把戏吗 |
[14:32] | Rub my belly and pat my head at the same time. | 摸摸我的肚子 同时拍拍我的头 |
[14:35] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[14:39] | So what’s the trick? | 你的把戏是什么 |
[14:41] | I tricked you into rubbing my belly and patting my head at the same time. | 我让你过来给我同时揉肚子摸摸头了 |
[14:53] | Mason, I can’t hear any music. Your headphones are plugged in. | 梅森 我听不到你放的什么歌 你音响上插着耳机呢 |
[14:56] | What? I can’t hear you! My headphones are plugged in! | 什么 我听不见你说话 我的耳机插在音响上了 |
[15:01] | Unplug your headphones! | 把你的耳机摘下来 |
[15:03] | What? I can’t hear you! | 什么 我听不见你说话 |
[15:05] | Should I unplug my headphones? | 我该把耳机摘下来吗 |
[15:08] | Yes! | 是的 |
[15:09] | What? | 什么 |
[15:15] | It’s your favorite song. | 这是你最喜欢的歌 |
[15:16] | Because I want you to be my girlfriend again. | 我想让你继续当我的女朋友 |
[15:18] | It’s not my favorite song. | 这不是我最喜欢的歌 |
[15:20] | Maybe it was Tiffany’s favorite. | 那可能是蒂芙妮最喜欢的吧 |
[15:23] | Or Molly’s. | 或者莫莉的 |
[15:24] | Or Chloe’s? | 又或者是克洛伊的 |
[15:25] | I’m Chloe! | 我就是克洛伊 |
[15:29] | Mason, I like that you made an effort. | 没事 我很欣赏你这么用心 |
[15:31] | And we are just in the third grade. | 而且我们才三年级 |
[15:33] | Turn it off, and I’ll forgive you. | 把那个关掉 我就原谅你 |
[15:35] | That’s making it louder. | 越来越大了 |
[15:37] | Now you just started it from the beginning. | 这个是从头播放 |
[15:42] | I don’t want to play with other girls. | 我不想跟别的女孩玩 |
[15:44] | I just want to have play dates with you. | 我只想跟你玩游戏约会 |
[15:46] | Every single day. | 每一天都是 |
[15:47] | Okay. | 好吧 |
[15:50] | Thanks, Molly. | 谢谢你 莫莉 |
[15:52] | I’m Chloe! | 我叫克洛伊 |
[15:55] | Man, you’re lucky there’s something about you. | 天啊 你该庆幸你有点魅力 |
[16:04] | Max, you’re on the tribunal? | 马克斯 你怎么在裁决委员会 |
[16:06] | I’m the student rep. | 我是学生代表 |
[16:07] | I have an interest in tribunals | 我对裁决委员会有点兴趣 |
[16:09] | because one of my ancestors was declared a witch in 17th century Salem. | 因为我有个祖先在十七世纪的塞勒姆被宣布她是个女巫 |
[16:12] | Her family giggled in grief when she was burned at the stake. | 当她受火刑时 她的家人咯咯地笑出声来 |
[16:15] | It’s hereditary. | 这是遗传的 |
[16:17] | Quiet, everyone. | 请大家安静 |
[16:19] | Please take your seats so we can get this over with. | 请大家坐回位置 这样我们能赶紧搞定 |
[16:21] | I have a very busy afternoon. | 我今天下午很忙 |
[16:23] | I have to go pretend to care about a volleyball game. | 我要去看一场排球比赛 还得装作很关心的样子 |
[16:27] | Ladies and gentlemen of the tribunal, I will demonstrate, incontrovertibly, | 裁决委员会的女士们先生们 我在此表明 无需争论 |
[16:32] | and beyond a reasonable doubt… | 毫无疑问 |
[16:33] | yeah, just call your first witness. | 好 你就直接叫你的第一证人出来 |
[16:34] | I object! | 我反对 |
[16:36] | The plaintiff should be allowed to conclude her statement. | 原告有权利陈述她的观点 |
[16:38] | This isn’t a court, and even if it were, you don’t get to object. | 这里不是法庭 就算是 你也还不能开始反对 |
[16:42] | I object to that, too. | 对此我也表示反对 |
[16:47] | At home, I could just go in the other room when she does this. | 在家的时候 我就直接去另外一个房间 |
[16:51] | Call your first witness, miss Jennings. | 詹宁斯小姐 请叫你的第一证人出来 |
[16:53] | I don’t know why I’m so nervous up here. | 我都不明白我为什么会这么紧张 |
[16:56] | I feel like I’m on trial. | 觉得好像是我在受审一样 |
[16:58] | And I mean, it’s not like I’ve done anything wrong. | 我的意思是 我又没做错什么 |
[17:00] | All right, I confess! | 好吧我承认了 |
[17:02] | My dad bought us two smoothies but he was only charged for one! | 我老爸曾经买过两杯奶昔但只给了一杯的钱 |
[17:04] | He didn’t say anything! And we drank them both! | 他一句话也没说 然后我们还把两杯都喝光了 |
[17:06] | Go easy on him! | 拜托你们对他好一点 |
[17:09] | Getting expelled has been so hard on Avery and Tyler. | 被开除对艾芙莉和泰勒来说都太难以接受了 |
[17:12] | I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you guys. | 当时没能陪在你们身边我很抱歉 |
[17:15] | I’ve been going through a really messy break-up. | 我最近正在经历一场很糟糕的分手 |
[17:18] | But we’re back together now. | 不过我们现在重修旧好了 |
[17:20] | It’s been a roller coaster. | 就像过山车一样 |
[17:24] | My image is obscured for my own protection. | 为了保护我的身份 我要把我的形象掩盖起来 |
[17:26] | Certain members of the cat mafia have made some threats. | 黑猫党的某个成员对我发出了威胁 |
[17:30] | But I just want to say that Avery and Tyler are great kids. | 但我想说的是 艾芙莉和泰勒都是好孩子 |
[17:34] | They’re loyal friends, they’re always there for me, and most of all, | 他们是忠诚的朋友 总是为我着想 最重要的是 |
[17:38] | they pick up my poop in the park. | 他们还为我捡起我在公园里拉的粑粑 |
[17:43] | How did I get here? I don’t understand. | 我怎么来到这里的 我不明白 |
[17:47] | I would now like to call on my friends to testify. | 本来现在应该传我的朋友来为我作证 |
[17:51] | Unfortunately, they’re all in detention | 但不幸的是 他们都因为 |
[17:53] | for jumping on the tables and screaming in the cafeteria. | 跳上餐厅的桌子上大吼大叫 而被留堂了 |
[17:55] | But they told me to do this. | 但他们告诉我要这么做 |
[17:57] | Whoo! Yeah! That’s right! | 对 没错 就是这样 |
[18:00] | Tyler’s the man! | 泰勒就是这么帅 |
[18:03] | I’ll allow it. | 我同意他这么做 |
[18:06] | I put parental locks on the court channel, but she figures out the code. | 我给法制频道设置了密码 但是她居然给试出来了 |
[18:11] | In conclusion, as today’s witnesses | 总的来说 今天的证人们 |
[18:14] | have made very clear, we are good, honest people, | 都已经陈述得相当清楚 我们是诚实的好孩子 |
[18:18] | the salt of the earth, the kind of people who make America great. | 像盐分一样不可或缺 是让美国变得伟大的一类人 |
[18:21] | Am I exaggerating? Yes. | 是我太夸张了吗 是的 |
[18:23] | A very American trait. | 这就是美国人最共同的特点 |
[18:24] | And it has been for a million years. | 百万年来一直如此 |
[18:31] | The point is, we meant no harm and are very sorry that we broke a rule. | 重点是 我们并无恶意 而且对于违反规矩都十分内疚 |
[18:36] | Tyler’s a great guy. | 泰勒是个好人 |
[18:38] | He took all the blame for our parents just to protect me. | 他为了保护我 揽下了所有的责任 |
[18:40] | And the only reason Avery was expelled | 而艾芙莉会被开除的唯一原因 |
[18:43] | is because she confessed, thinking it would help me. | 就是她承认了她的错误 觉得这么做能帮到我 |
[18:46] | At least she should get unexpelled. | 至少她不应该被开除 |
[18:48] | She’s a great sister and she doesn’t deserve this. | 她是个好妹妹 不应该受到这样的惩罚 |
[18:51] | Thanks, Tyler. | 谢谢 泰勒 |
[18:56] | No, no. No, no. | 不 不 不 不 |
[18:58] | Honey, honey, honey… please just sit down already. | 亲爱的 亲爱的 请你安静地坐下 |
[19:00] | You’re embarrassing yourself. | 你在丢自己的脸 |
[19:02] | I’m not embarrassed. | 我不觉得我丢脸啊 |
[19:03] | Okay, then you’re embarrassing me. | 好吧 那你就是在丢我的脸了 |
[19:06] | As much as I’d like to keep this going and miss the volleyball game, | 虽然我很想让你们继续煽情来翘掉那场排球比赛 |
[19:09] | it’s happening here in the commons and they have to set up now. | 但这场比赛就要公共区域举行 他们要开始布场了 |
[19:13] | The appeal is denied. The expulsion stands. | 你们的申诉被驳回 开除的决定仍然有效 |
[19:18] | It’s the letter of the law. | 这都是有明文规定的 |
[19:20] | School rules clearly state zero tolerance towards senior pranks. | 学校的规定清楚地写明了对毕业生恶作剧采取零容忍的政策 |
[19:24] | That concludes the tribunal. | 申诉结束 |
[19:29] | I’m really sorry, Avery. | 对不起 艾芙莉 |
[19:31] | I shouldn’t have let you help me to begin with. | 打一开始我就不该让你帮忙 |
[19:34] | It’s a senior prank. You’re not even a senior. | 这是毕业生恶作剧 你根本不是个毕业生 |
[19:39] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
[19:40] | I’m not a senior. Hold on. | 我不是毕业生呀 等等 |
[19:43] | Resume the tribunal! | 申诉继续 |
[19:46] | You don’t get to resume the tribunal. | 你没权力继续申诉 |
[19:48] | Yeah! | 太好了 |
[19:50] | I get to resume the tribunal. | 我才有权宣布申诉继续 |
[19:52] | Tribunal resumed! | 申诉继续 |
[19:55] | As I was saying, the letter of the law says, | 正如我说的 学校明文规定 |
[19:58] | “no senior pranks,” but I’m not a senior, | “不允许毕业生恶作剧” 但我不是毕业生呀 |
[20:02] | so by definition, what I did can’t be a senior prank, so I can’t be expelled! | 从定义上看 这不能被称为毕业生恶作剧 你不能开除我 |
[20:06] | Well, that is the letter of the law, but… | 这确实是学校的明文规定 可是 |
[20:10] | fine, Avery, you’re back in school. | 好吧 艾芙莉 你可以回到学校了 |
[20:12] | I am no longer Tim to you. | 你不许再叫我蒂姆了 |
[20:14] | But Tyler, you are a senior. You are still expelled. | 但是泰勒 你是个毕业生 你还是被开除了 |
[20:17] | Call me Tim. | 叫我蒂姆 |
[20:20] | Wait, wait. | 等等 等等 |
[20:22] | The prank was done before the first bell on the first day of school. | 恶作剧是在开学第一天的第一声上课铃之前做的 |
[20:26] | The school year hadn’t officially started yet. | 新的一个学期还没有正式开始 |
[20:28] | So Tyler wasn’t a senior either. | 也就是说泰勒还不是个毕业生 |
[20:30] | Before the first bell, miss Jennings? | 在第一声上课铃以前 詹宁斯小姐 |
[20:31] | I think that’s a bit of a technicality. | 我觉得这句话有点太苛刻了 |
[20:33] | No, it’s the letter of the law. | 不 这是学校的明文规定 |
[20:35] | Bam! In your face. | 当头一棒 |
[20:37] | Sorry, too far. Principals love me. | 对不起 我过分了 校长们都很喜欢我 |
[20:38] | We’re going to be very good friends. | 我们会成为很好的朋友的 |
[20:42] | Your punishment is reduced to a suspension of time served plus | 你们的惩罚简化到停课 |
[20:46] | however long this volleyball game takes. | 时长为这场排球比赛的时间 |
[20:48] | I am not sitting through it alone. | 我可不想自己一个人坐着看完这场比赛 |
[20:50] | No offense, coach. | 没有冒犯你的意思 教练 |
[20:57] | If only you were in Salem in 1692, | 如果你1692年在塞勒姆就好了 |
[20:59] | then my ancestor Goody Edelstein would still be with us. | 这样我的祖先古迪·埃德尔斯坦现在应该还和我们在一起 |
[21:02] | Wouldn’t she have passed from natural causes by now? | 她不会因自然因素而去世吗 |
[21:04] | Maybe not. She was a witch. | 应该不会吧 她可是个女巫呀 |
[21:08] | It was nice how Avery and Tyler stood up for each other today. | 艾芙莉和泰勒今天为彼此撑腰 真是太让我感动了 |
[21:12] | And I learned something really important. | 我也因此学到了一些很重要的东西 |
[21:14] | That Max’s last name is Edelstein. | 那就是马克斯居然姓埃德尔斯坦 |
[21:16] | Who knew? | 谁会知道呢 |
[21:17] | And also that pranks can be fun, but they can also go too far. | 还有 恶作剧是很有趣 但可不能太过分 |
[21:22] | Especially when the prankee decides | 尤其是当被恶作剧的人想要 |
[21:24] | to get even with the pranker. | 报复恶作剧者的时候 |
[21:29] | Touche, Robert. Touche. | 做得好 罗伯特 做得好 |
[21:38] | Mason, you just ate the last five carrots. | 梅森 你把最后五个胡萝卜都吃了 |
[21:40] | I wanted one. | 我也想吃一个 |
[21:42] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
[21:43] | I know how to make it up to you. | 我知道该怎么补偿你 |
[21:49] | Mason, I told you, I don’t like that song. | 梅森 我跟你说过了 我不喜欢那首歌 |
[21:51] | I don’t understand. | 我就不明白了 |
[21:54] | I don’t understand either, but somehow, we work. | 我也不明白 不过不知道为什么 我们居然能成 |
[22:00] | Bennett, why don’t you ever serenade me with a boombox over your head? | 班尼特 你怎么就不给我举着收音机给我放情歌呢 |
[22:03] | Because it’s a cliche from an ’80s teen romantic comedy | 因为那已经是八十年代喜剧电影里的老把戏了 |
[22:06] | and I think you’re better than that. | 我觉得你应该得到更好的待遇 |
[22:12] | This makes me happy. | 这还真不错 |
[22:14] | I don’t understand. | 我就不明白了 |