| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Mom, dad, we have an announcement. | 爸 妈 我们有事想说 |
| [00:07] | You finally found the TV remote. | 电视遥控器终于找着了 |
| [00:09] | – Nope. – I guess we have to keep reading. | -不是 -那我们还是继续看书吧 |
| [00:13] | We’ve decided on our present for your anniversary. | 我们给您挑好结婚纪念日礼物了 |
| [00:16] | We’re gonna throw you a second wedding. | 我们要再给您再办一场婚礼 |
| [00:19] | Oh, my gosh, that is such a wonderful anniversary present. | 老天爷 这结婚纪念日礼物太棒了 |
| [00:21] | – Isn’t it, Bennett? – Uh. | -不错吧 班尼特 -呃 |
| [00:25] | We figured it was the least we could do since we ruined the first wedding. | 把第一场婚礼毁了以后我们一直很愧疚 |
| [00:29] | And I just went along because Avery said | 我来纯粹是因为 |
| [00:31] | come on, we’re doing something in the kitchen, | 艾芙莉叫我去厨房 |
| [00:32] | and I stupidly assumed it was eating. | 我以为是有东西吃 |
| [00:35] | Honey, we’re gonna get to say the vows we never got to say the first time. | 亲爱的 咱们终于能把第一次没说成的誓言说出来了 |
| [00:39] | That’s great, because my vows would’ve really blown you away. | 太好了 我的誓言肯定会震死你 |
| [00:43] | My vows would’ve blown you into another dimension | 我的誓言能让你激动得蹦到另一个次元去 |
| [00:46] | where plush toys rule the world, which doesn’t make a lot of sense, | 那个世界的主宰是毛绒玩具 我知道不可能 |
| [00:49] | but it’s a dream I’ve been having lately, and it scares me. | 不过最近我老做这种梦 恐怖死了 |
| [00:53] | Guys, vows aren’t supposed to be a competition, | 爸妈 这是宣誓 不是比赛 |
| [00:55] | and, for the record, I think we’re all a little scared by the plush toy dream. | 顺便提醒下 这种毛绒玩具梦我们也害怕 |
| [01:00] | Of course it’s not a competition. | 当然不是比赛 我们懂 |
| [01:03] | I’m gonna make you so happy you married me. | 我要让你知道娶我你有多幸福 |
| [01:06] | I am gonna remarry that smug look right off your face. | 我要让你脸上的狞笑变成大笑 |
| [01:11] | Aw, I knew this would be the perfect anniversary gift. | 开心吧 我就知道这个纪念日礼物很棒 |
| [01:15] | I love weddings. | 我可喜欢婚礼了 |
| [01:16] | I had an owner once who was a florist, | 我之前有个主人开花店 |
| [01:19] | and I’d go with him to a lot of weddings, | 所以老能跟他参加婚礼 |
| [01:20] | which is where I honed my skills | 我的主持技能就是 |
| [01:22] | as an under-the-table toastmaster. | 在婚礼上练出来的 |
| [01:25] | To Nina and Isaac. | 妮娜和艾萨克 |
| [01:27] | Let me pass on some tips for a happy marriage. | 我来向你们传授点婚姻秘诀 |
| [01:31] | Every day, you should kiss each other, say “I love you,” | 每天都要给对方一个吻 说点甜言蜜语 |
| [01:34] | and scrape your leftovers under the table… | 然后把剩菜都倒到桌子底下 |
| [01:38] | Starting now. | 现在就可以试试 |
| [01:40] | I’m serious. | 我认真的 |
| [01:41] | What are you waiting for? | 还磨蹭什么呢 |
| [01:44] | Who is saying that? | 是谁在说话 |
| [01:45] | I don’t know, but he sounds serious. | 不知道 不过好像挺认真的 |
| [01:47] | We’d better do it. | 那就倒吧 |
| [01:50] | Yeah! | 就是这意思 |
| [01:52] | This marriage is gonna work. | 你俩一定会白头偕老的 |
| [02:12] | All right. I think that we have everything we need here for the wedding, | 好的 我觉得咱们的婚礼用品应该都齐了 |
| [02:15] | and since we’re on a budget, | 因为咱们资金有限 |
| [02:17] | I found a place that resells supplies from cancelled weddings. | 还好我找着一家店 专门卖取消的婚礼上的用品 |
| [02:21] | Their motto is, “nobody objects… to our prices.” | 他们的标语是 “我们的价格 无人敢反对” |
| [02:26] | Okay, it isn’t, but it should be. | 好吧 其实不是 不过换我就会这么写 |
| [02:29] | I told them, and they’re considering it. | 我跟店老板说了 他们正在考虑用 |
| [02:32] | Okay, we’ve got table settings, napkins, and place cards. | 好的 餐具 纸巾和席次牌都有了 |
| [02:35] | Oh, hey, can we invite Vicky and Steven Weintraub? | 对了 咱们要不要请维琪和史蒂文·温特劳布来 |
| [02:38] | – Who are they? – I don’t know, | -谁 -我也不认识 |
| [02:39] | but do you wanna use these place cards or not? | 不过席次牌上有他们的名字 |
| [02:41] | And the best part, the box on the patio has old discount doves | 阳台上那箱打折的老鸽子才棒呢 |
| [02:47] | guaranteed to be too weary to fly away. | 老板说它们肯定累得飞不远 |
| [02:50] | Their motto is, “Old doves for new loves.” | 这个商品的标语是 “老鸽送新爱” |
| [02:56] | Okay, it isn’t, but they’re considering that one, too. | 好啦也不是 可老板也在考虑用不用 |
| [03:00] | You still haven’t told me how that first wedding got ruined. | 你都没说第一场婚礼是怎么毁的 |
| [03:03] | I’d love to hear it, it’ll take my mind off | 快讲讲吧 否则我实在 |
| [03:05] | the discount doves I’m trying very hard not to eat. | 抑制不住把那些鸽子吃了的欲望 |
| [03:08] | I’m walking backwards toward the patio right now, aren’t I? | 我是不是在不由自主地往阳台走 |
| [03:11] | – Stan! – Sorry. | -斯坦 -对不起 |
| [03:14] | Anyway, if you wanna understand what happened at the wedding, | 如果你想知道当时的情况 |
| [03:17] | we have to go back to the first time we all met. | 最好先听听我们初次见面的经历 |
| [03:21] | This place used to be way cooler. | 当时我家可比现在酷多了 |
| [03:23] | Dad, not so much. | 老爸则另当别论 |
| [03:25] | Kids, come on. | 孩子们 快来 |
| [03:27] | My girlfriend Ellen and her daughter are gonna be here soon to meet you. | 我女友艾伦和她女儿马上就来了 |
| [03:31] | Can your girlfriend turn invisible like me? | 你女友能像我一样变隐形吗 |
| [03:34] | Watch. | 看 |
| [03:36] | Chloe? Where’s Chloe? | 克洛伊 你跑到哪儿去了 |
| [03:39] | I’m right here, daddy. | 老爸 我在这儿呢 |
| [03:41] | Didn’t mean to scare you. | 不是故意要吓你的 |
| [03:44] | So, sweetie, how do I look? What do you think of this tie? | 宝贝儿 我看着帅吗 你觉得这条领带如何 |
| [03:47] | It’s like the string for your balloon head. | 像你气球脑袋底下的拉线 |
| [03:49] | Okay. | 明白了 |
| [03:50] | This is so weak. | 烦死了 |
| [03:53] | Why do we have to dress up to meet your lame-o girlfriend? | 只是见见你那个傻女友 干嘛非得穿这么正式 |
| [03:56] | She is not a lame-o. | 她不傻 |
| [03:58] | You need to look good because you only get | 必须穿好看点 得给人 |
| [04:00] | one chance to make a first impression. | 留下最好的第一印象 |
| [04:01] | Oh… glad I caught that. | 哎哟 还好提前看到灰了 |
| [04:05] | Now tuck your shirt in. | 把衣服掖到裤子里 |
| [04:07] | Why are you always trying to change me? | 你干嘛老逼我改变 |
| [04:10] | Because I’m your father, and there is stuff wrong with you. | 因为我是你爸 子不教父之过 |
| [04:13] | Sorry I said that. I’m just nervous. | 对不起 我就是太紧张了 |
| [04:15] | And there is stuff wrong with you. | 而且你的教养确实不怎么地 |
| [04:17] | We’ll compromise. Half tuck behind the buckle. | 咱们折中一下 往腰带里掖进一半 |
| [04:21] | – Great. – Actually, that is great. | -可以 -感觉还真不错 |
| [04:24] | I think I’ll call it the tuckle. | 以后就管这种造型叫“腰带半掖”吧 |
| [04:28] | So that’s where that came from. | 原来这名字是这么来的 |
| [04:30] | It’s like hearing the story | 我有种听人讲 |
| [04:32] | of how those guys built that first personal computer | 第一台个人计算机先在车库里被制造出来 |
| [04:34] | in their garage, and then, tucked it into their underwear. | 然后塞进他们的内裤里的感觉 |
| [04:39] | Okay, this is the place. I’m so nervous. | 到了 我好紧张 |
| [04:41] | Why am I so nervous? | 我这么紧张干嘛 |
| [04:43] | Well, let’s see. You’re a pit sweater, you laugh like a donkey, | 原因有几点 你腋窝老是出汗 笑声跟驴叫一样 |
| [04:46] | and that wig makes you look like a mannequin. | 而且这顶假发跟人体模型戴的一样 |
| [04:48] | You’re not making me any less nervous, Avery. | 艾芙莉 你一说我更慌了 |
| [04:51] | No, but I did make you look less like a mannequin. | 确实 不过我让你把这顶破假发摘了 |
| [05:00] | Ellen, you are as beautiful as a shakespearean sonnet. | 艾伦 你简直跟莎士比亚的诗句一样美 |
| [05:05] | Actually, Shakespeare didn’t write anything attributed to him. | 其实莎士比亚的作品都不是他自己写的 |
| [05:08] | The 17th Earl of Oxford is the most likely… | 十七世纪的牛津伯爵才 |
| [05:10] | Bennett, I’d like you to meet | 班尼特 这就是我 |
| [05:11] | my perfectly normal daughter, Avery. | 无比正常的女儿 艾芙莉 |
| [05:15] | I’m not perfectly normal. | 我才不正常 |
| [05:17] | Though I’m also not a 60-year-old aging backwards as someone suggested. | 不过至少比某个自称在逆生长的六十岁老大妈强 |
| [05:20] | Very nice to meet you. Come on in. | 很高兴认识你 请进 |
| [05:26] | I would love for the two of you to meet my family. | 希望你们也能见见我的家人 |
| [05:30] | Tyler, Chloe, this is Ellen and Avery. | 泰勒 克洛伊 这是艾伦和艾芙莉 |
| [05:34] | You! | 是你 |
| [05:36] | Wait. You two already knew each other? | 原来你俩之前就认识了 |
| [05:39] | What-what? | 咋搞的 |
| [05:41] | Amazing! Mind blown. | 太神奇了 太震惊了 |
| [05:44] | Continue. | 继续吧 |
| [05:46] | You’re the one who got me detention. | 就是你害我被留堂的 |
| [05:48] | You’re the one who did a stupid bike jump in the middle of school | 是你吃饱了撑的在学校里飞车 |
| [05:51] | and ran over my backpack. | 把我书包轧了 |
| [05:52] | You can get another backpack. | 包还可以再买啊 |
| [05:53] | I was wearing it. | 你连带着把我也轧了 |
| [05:56] | Hey, look. | 那个啥 |
| [05:59] | So you don’t get along. | 相处不好没关系 |
| [06:00] | We can all change. Look at me, I changed my hair. | 咱们可以慢慢来 看 连我的头发都能变颜色 |
| [06:02] | Oh, your hair. | 你头发变色了 |
| [06:04] | That’s what’s different about you. | 我就觉得有点怪 |
| [06:06] | You didn’t notice? | 你没发现 |
| [06:07] | Of course I did. | 怎么可能 |
| [06:09] | I didn’t know if you noticed. | 我是不知道你发现没有 |
| [06:12] | Hello. I’m Avery. | 你好 我是艾芙莉 |
| [06:13] | I’m Chloe. Wanna play dolls? | 我是克洛伊 想玩娃娃吗 |
| [06:15] | Can my doll be an executive at a big company | 如果我的娃娃能当一家大公司的高管 |
| [06:18] | who’s contemplating a move to a smaller start-up | 却考虑跳槽到一家小型创业公司 |
| [06:20] | where she can have more control? | 当老大 我就玩 |
| [06:23] | – Sure. – Okay. | -没问题 -那好 |
| [06:26] | Look at that. | 看 |
| [06:28] | Chloe and Avery are getting along. | 两个姑娘玩得挺好 |
| [06:31] | Let’s focus on that and not the Tyler-Avery thing, | 咱们先别管泰勒和艾芙莉的小矛盾 |
| [06:33] | and make the big life-changing announcement. | 赶快宣布大喜事吧 |
| [06:36] | – Life-changing? – Big? | -喜事 -大 |
| [06:38] | What did your hair used to look like? | 你头发之前是什么色的 |
| [06:40] | Kids, after a whirlwind three-month romance, we are getting married. | 孩子们 我们已经交往并深爱了三个月 决定结婚了 |
| [06:46] | No. | 不是吧 |
| [06:47] | We are gonna move in and all be a family together. | 咱们要一起住在这儿 成为一个大家庭 |
| [06:49] | – My life’s over. – I’m dead. I died. | -我悲剧了 -老天 让我去死吧 |
| [06:53] | Wow, I want to hear about | 我只想听 |
| [06:54] | how the animosity between you guys ruined the wedding. | 你们打得多激烈 怎么把婚礼毁了的 |
| [06:57] | I assume the tie are tied together, but how? How?! | 不过这两件事好像是联系在一起的 但是怎么联系上的呢 |
| [07:02] | I’m on pins and needles. | 我心中充满了焦虑 |
| [07:07] | Working on your vows, mommy? | 妈咪 在写结婚誓言吗 |
| [07:09] | I’m having a breakthrough. | 已经有突破性进展了 |
| [07:11] | “Bennett, you are my… Husband.” | “班尼特 你是我的 丈夫” |
| [07:15] | That is a fact. Good start. | 这是个事实 开头不错 |
| [07:17] | Not, it’s not. | 一点都不好 |
| [07:18] | Maybe you should just use the vows | 直接用上次灾难性婚礼 |
| [07:20] | you didn’t get to say at your disaster wedding. | 没用上的誓言不就好了 |
| [07:22] | Your daddy doesn’t know this, but the disaster actually saved me. | 你爸不知道 上次那个意外把我救了 |
| [07:25] | I couldn’t come up with any vows. | 我当时根本就没写好誓言 |
| [07:28] | My back-up plan was to scream “zombies,” and run out of the room. | 只有一个后备计划 大喊“僵尸”从屋里跑出去 |
| [07:31] | Ask daddy for help. He’s a writer. | 问问老爸啊 他是作家 |
| [07:33] | No, I can’t. | 不行 |
| [07:35] | I told him my vows were gonna blow him away. | 我都跟他夸下海口了 |
| [07:36] | Then I gave him an aquarium full of fish | 宣誓完 我打算送他一缸鱼 |
| [07:39] | that said, “you’re gonna get schooled.” | 说 “祝你年年有余” |
| [07:41] | Now I have no vows, and a saltwater aquarium to maintain. | 结果现在既不知道怎么宣誓 也不知道怎么保养盐水鱼缸 |
| [07:45] | So I’m gonna go look at the fish now. | 我先去看一眼鱼吧 |
| [07:49] | My vows don’t even have to be great. | 其实我的誓言也不用太好 |
| [07:51] | They just have to be better than your dad’s. | 只要比你爸的好就行 |
| [07:54] | If only I knew what he was writing. | 要是我知道他写的什么就好了 |
| [07:56] | Why don’t you just spy on him? | 你去监视他不就好了 |
| [07:57] | Oh, Chloe, I could never do that. | 克洛伊 我才不会那么卑鄙呢 |
| [07:59] | But since you brought it up… | 不过你既然提出来了 |
| [08:01] | He’ll never know I’m there. | 他不会发现我的 |
| [08:08] | Hey, sweets, hon, please, not now. | 宝贝儿 亲爱的 你能先出去一会儿吗 |
| [08:11] | Daddy’s trying to write his vows, okay? | 老爸在写婚誓呢 |
| [08:15] | Okay, why are your hands wet? | 你的手怎么是湿的 |
| [08:16] | I was petting fish. | 我去摸小鱼了 |
| [08:18] | Catfish don’t purr… | 原来鲶鱼不会咕噜咕噜叫 |
| [08:20] | Or have nine lives. | 也没有九条命 |
| [08:24] | So how good are your vows? | 你写得怎么样啦 |
| [08:26] | Are they gonna be better than mommy’s? Not that I’m spying. | 有妈妈的好吗 放心 我不是来监视你的 |
| [08:28] | Chloe, did mommy send you to spy? | 克洛伊 是妈妈叫你来的吗 |
| [08:30] | Spies never tell what they’re doing. | 间谍要守口如瓶 |
| [08:32] | I just told you, didn’t I? | 完了 我暴露身份了对不对 |
| [08:38] | Oh, Avery just texted. | 艾芙莉给我发了条短信 |
| [08:40] | She’s having trouble finding a decent used cake. | 她找不到还没吃过的漂亮蛋糕 |
| [08:43] | The only one so far is orange, and cone shaped. | 只有一个橙色锥形的没吃过 |
| [08:46] | Oh, the couple who cancelled their wedding met on a road crew. | 那个蛋糕的主人是在自驾游时认识的 |
| [08:50] | Eesh, if your wedding cake signals “hazard ahead,” | 情侣们 代表“前方危险”的蛋糕 |
| [08:53] | maybe not a great sign, couple. | 可不是什么好预兆 |
| [08:56] | I’m still dying to hear the rest of that story. | 我还没听完上次的故事呢 |
| [08:59] | Come on, tell me how you guys ruined the first wedding. | 你们到底是怎么毁第一场婚礼的 |
| [09:02] | Right. Where were we? | 那我继续 上次讲到哪儿了 |
| [09:03] | Mom and dad had just announced they were gonna get married, | 爸妈刚宣布他们要结婚了 |
| [09:06] | and we were not happy. | 我们都很不高兴 |
| [09:07] | I can’t believe you’re gonna be my step-sister. | 你怎么能当我继妹呢 |
| [09:09] | You’re such an uptight rule follower. | 你就是个老古板 |
| [09:11] | You might as well be wearing this tie. | 系上这条领带就更像了 |
| [09:14] | You are just insufferable. | 我还受不了你呢 |
| [09:17] | Whoa, that felt powerful. | 哇 系上领带我有种女强人的感觉 |
| [09:19] | This is like a little exclamation point to my head. | 好像脑子里突然灵光一闪 |
| [09:22] | Oh, so that’s when Avery first started wearing ties. | 原来艾芙莉是那时候开始系领带的 |
| [09:27] | I always thought it was… Ah, who am I kidding? | 我一直以为是 |
| [09:29] | I never thought about that. | 好吧 其实我从没想过这问题 |
| [09:31] | I just can’t believe I’m gonna be the step-sister of cousin itt. | 你跟伊特表哥一样恶心 我居然要当你继妹 |
| [09:35] | I don’t even get that reference. | 你说谁 |
| [09:36] | And why would you? It’s only classic television. | 当然了 那是《亚当斯一家》里的经典人物 |
| [09:40] | This generation. | 现在的孩子还有救吗 |
| [09:42] | Kids, it’s gonna take flexibility and understanding | 孩子们 咱们必须团结一心 |
| [09:44] | on all our parts to make this new family work. | 才能适应未来的新生活 |
| [09:48] | I’m gonna do my part living with this decor… | 我就得适应跟这些装饰物共处一室 |
| [09:51] | Which I love, wouldn’t change a thing. | 别担心 我非常喜欢这儿的装饰 |
| [09:54] | Am I right, burger clown? | 是吧 麦当劳大叔 |
| [09:56] | See, this guy gets it. | 他说是 |
| [09:59] | You have frogs in the house? | 你家有青蛙 |
| [10:01] | I’m terrified of frogs. | 我最怕青蛙了 |
| [10:04] | If you’re afraid of frogs, just become invisible like me. | 那你可以像我一样隐形 它们就看不到你了 |
| [10:11] | That was me. | 刚才是我戳的你 |
| [10:14] | Listen, kids, we are gonna make this transition as smooth as we can. | 孩子们 咱们一定能顺利度过这段磨合期 |
| [10:18] | Avery, I’ve already cleaned out my man cave so you can have your own room. | 艾芙莉 我已经把我之前的房间整理好 留给你了 |
| [10:22] | Best room in the house. | 是全家最棒的 |
| [10:23] | Oh, cool. Thank you. | 多谢 |
| [10:25] | If someone’s getting dad’s man cave, it should be me. | 你怎么不把那间屋留给我 |
| [10:29] | Well, you kids work it out. | 你们自己商量怎么定吧 |
| [10:31] | You want to let them work it out? | 你让他们自己定 |
| [10:33] | As a child psychologist, I can assure you | 作为儿童心理学家 我理解孩子 |
| [10:36] | that they will bond best if they develop | 自由沟通 |
| [10:37] | their own tools for conflict resolution. | 能让他们相处得更好 |
| [10:40] | That’s right. You’re a child psychologist. | 对哎 我才想起来你是儿童心理学家 |
| [10:42] | For some reason, I keep thinking you bid on unclaimed storage lockers. | 之前一直有点怀疑你是收废品的 |
| [10:48] | This guy gets it. | 他也有同感 |
| [10:52] | I have no idea what to say for my vows. | 我还是不知道婚誓怎么写 |
| [10:54] | You can use my speech from the last one if you want. | 你可以用我上次想出来的 |
| [10:56] | You mean just stand there staring out and going | 站在那儿直瞪瞪地这样 |
| [11:01] | Think I’m too old for that. | 那是小孩干的事 |
| [11:03] | Or maybe too young. | 老人也有可能干 |
| [11:04] | I didn’t do that, did I? | 我没那么呆吧 |
| [11:07] | Sweetie, it’s on the video. | 宝贝儿 上次我们都录下来了 |
| [11:12] | Why did I just stand there making popping noises? | 我干嘛要傻站在那儿砸吧嘴啊 |
| [11:15] | – You said that you were a pop star. – Does make sense. | -你当时说你想当流行歌手 -这就说通了 |
| [11:19] | But that wasn’t a speech. Why did everybody clap? | 可是我又没讲话 大家都鼓掌干什么 |
| [11:22] | Because someone told them to. | 因为有人发过令 |
| [11:23] | Clap, everybody. Clap. | 大家给点掌声啊 |
| [11:26] | I am not going out like that. | 我才不要那么见人呢 |
| [11:29] | I will do a great speech, and be the best thing at this new wedding. | 我要郑重地讲一次话 做婚礼上最闪亮的星 |
| [11:32] | That’s just what I needed. | 这下可好 |
| [11:35] | Another horse in this race. | 又有人跟我抢风头了 |
| [11:40] | Call off the wedding. | 别办婚礼了 |
| [11:42] | The dry cleaner shrunk my tux. | 干洗店把我的西服都弄缩水了 |
| [11:47] | Stan, it’s not black tie, and you’re a dog. | 斯坦 那又不是什么隆重场合 而且你是狗 |
| [11:49] | You don’t have to wear anything. | 不用穿衣服 |
| [11:50] | You still don’t know what makes me tick, do you? | 你至今也不了解我的行事风格吧 |
| [11:55] | Anyhoo, can you get back to your wacky wedding story? | 别管它了 你先把上次的故事讲完 |
| [11:58] | Oh, yeah, yeah. It was the day of the wedding. | 对了 那是婚礼当天 |
| [12:01] | We were still fighting over who was gonna get the good bedroom. | 我们还在争家里最棒的卧室 |
| [12:03] | I know. We’ll settle this the way they did | 咱们就用解决1897年克朗代克 |
| [12:06] | during the Klondike stampede of 1897. | 那场踩踏事件的办法吧 |
| [12:08] | Like I say to my history teacher, | 我重复一下跟历史老师说的话 |
| [12:10] | I have no idea what that is, and please don’t explain it. | 我不懂 也不想知道你说的啥 |
| [12:13] | When gold was discovered in the Klondike, the rule was, whichever prospector | 当时 克朗代克地区发现金子以后 规则是谁先 |
| [12:19] | got to an area first, could claim it for themselves. | 找到金子 就能据为己有 |
| [12:21] | So you explained it and told me a rule. | 你不仅解释了一遍 还说了条规则 |
| [12:23] | It just keeps getting worse. | 我现在越来越晕了 |
| [12:26] | So after the vows, we’ll do the same thing. | 等爸妈宣完誓 咱们分个先来后到 |
| [12:28] | The first one into the room gets it. | 谁先跑到房间谁赢 |
| [12:30] | Deal. Why didn’t you just say we were racing? | 行 那你直接说要赛跑不就得了 |
| [12:34] | Why did you have to teach me something? | 干嘛还费劲讲半天课 |
| [12:35] | Now I have to go do something stupid to get the smartness out of my head. | 害的我现在还得去干点蠢事 把那点知识排出去 |
| [12:39] | I can’t think of anything. | 干什么事呢 |
| [12:40] | I can’t think of anything. Yes, I’m back. | 想不出来东西 太好了 |
| [12:45] | So when the wedding was underway, | 所以婚礼进行的时候 |
| [12:47] | all Avery and I could think about | 我和艾芙莉只想着 |
| [12:49] | was positioning ourselves for the race to the bedroom. | 第一个跑到房间 |
| [12:51] | Okay, okay, this is really important. | 接下来这件事非常重要 |
| [12:58] | Clap, everybody, clap. | 大家给点掌声啊 |
| [13:05] | How about that Chloe, huh? | 我们的小克洛伊可爱吧 |
| [13:07] | She just pops in whenever you need her. Ha ha. | 有什么事都会立刻“砸吧”过来 |
| [13:12] | Yeah, good one, Ellen. | 艾伦 笑话讲得不错 |
| [13:15] | They laughed when he said “good one, Ellen.” | 他们笑是因为之前排练好了 |
| [13:17] | I’ll have to remember that. | 我得记清楚 |
| [13:19] | And remember it, she would. | 确定记清楚了吗 |
| [13:22] | I’m sorry, you’re telling the story. | 抱歉 忘了是你在讲故事 |
| [13:25] | Continue. | 继续吧 |
| [13:27] | And now, our bride and groom will read the vows that they’ve prepared. | 现在有请新人宣誓 |
| [13:31] | – After you. – No, please, after you. | -你先吧 -不 你先 |
| [13:44] | The frogs, the frogs! | 娘哎 青蛙跑出来了 |
| [13:50] | Ellen! | 艾伦 |
| [14:00] | Wait, wait, wait. Our wedding. | 别跑啊 我们还没结完婚呢 |
| [14:02] | – I’m afraid of frogs. – So am I, but I’m more afraid of being single. | -我最怕青蛙了 -我也是 不过我更怕单身 |
| [14:06] | Get back here and marry me. | 所以赶紧让我们把婚结了 |
| [14:08] | – Do you? – Yes. | -你愿意吗 -愿意 |
| [14:10] | – Do you? – Yeah. | -你呢 -愿意 |
| [14:11] | I now pronounce you husband and… | 我宣布你们现在正式结为夫 |
| [14:13] | Frog! | 青蛙 |
| [14:16] | I’ll take it. | 这样也行 |
| [14:21] | Hey, guys, I got a cake half off. | 我买了个打对折的蛋糕回来 |
| [14:25] | Wait, Avery. Tyler, I think I just realized something. | 艾芙莉 泰勒 我刚想起一件事 |
| [14:29] | Frogs on the loose, people screaming. | 第一场婚礼上 青蛙跑了 人在尖叫 |
| [14:31] | One of my owners was a florist who would take me with him to weddings. | 我之前那个开花店的主人不是总带我参加婚礼吗 |
| [14:34] | This one time, I sneaked out of his van. | 有一次婚礼 我从他车里偷溜出来 |
| [14:37] | Cool. Cake all over the floor! | 太好了 地上全是蛋糕 |
| [14:41] | Now a dog has wandered into the house. | 刚才是青蛙 现在连狗都能随便跑进家了 |
| [14:44] | I hate dogs as much as frogs. | 我也讨厌狗 |
| [14:46] | Don’t worry, honey. We will never get a dog. | 放心 亲爱的 咱们永远不会养狗的 |
| [14:50] | How dare you? Dogs are wonderful creatures. | 没爱心 狗可是非常可爱的动物 |
| [14:53] | Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go throw up in your kitchen. | 我现在得先去你们家厨房里吐会儿了 |
| [14:57] | That’s amazing. You were at the wedding? | 原来你当时也在 太巧了 |
| [15:00] | And you were the one who threw up in the kitchen? | 原来厨房里那坨呕吐物是你留的 |
| [15:02] | Grandma got blamed for that. | 大家都以为是奶奶干的 |
| [15:04] | Ah, let’s not worry about who puked where. | 管它是谁吐的呢 |
| [15:07] | So after the wedding got messed up, | 那婚礼被打断后 |
| [15:10] | is that when you beat Tyler up to the room? | 是你第一个跑到房间的 |
| [15:11] | Actually, I got there first, so it was my room. | 其实是我 所以我赢了 |
| [15:14] | But I gave it to Avery | 不过听完厕所里的声音 |
| [15:15] | when I couldn’t deal with all the horrible bathroom noises. | 我还是把房间让给艾芙莉了 |
| [15:28] | Come on! | 拜托 |
| [15:30] | What? | 不会吧 |
| [15:32] | That’s the quietest room in the house. | 那可是全家最安静的屋 |
| [15:34] | That’s why I’m always in there. | 不然我也不会老在那儿呆着 |
| [15:35] | Oh, and because I love our talks. | 主要是因为我喜欢跟你聊天 |
| [15:38] | Love our talks. | 非常喜欢 |
| [15:41] | Oh, my gosh. I forgot, Tyler. | 老天爷 泰勒 我才想起来 |
| [15:44] | You thought those bathroom noises were real. | 你以为厕所里的声音是真的 |
| [15:47] | Okay, you’re gonna think this is funny. | 这事儿太好笑了 |
| [15:49] | Those weren’t bathroom noises. | 那些声不是人弄的 |
| [15:50] | I tricked you with a recording I made of an elephant giving birth. | 我想把你骗走 就放了大象分娩的录音 |
| [15:56] | You tricked me? | 你骗我 |
| [15:58] | I gave up the good room, and I’ve been potty quiet for nothing? | 我放弃了最好的房间 上厕所不敢出声也是全白搭 |
| [16:02] | I know. It’s hilarious. | 是啊 好笑吧 |
| [16:05] | No, it isn’t. That room should be mine. | 得了 那房间本该是我的 |
| [16:08] | Instead, I’m stuck in a tiny room next to mom and dad. | 结果我最后住到爸妈隔壁的小破屋了 |
| [16:11] | Mom wakes me up every morning screaming through the wall, | 每天早上都得忍受老妈的狮吼折磨 |
| [16:13] | “don’t be late for school!” | “上学要迟到啦” |
| [16:15] | For the first four months, I thought the house was haunted | 刚搬进那屋的前四个月 我一直以为家里住了个 |
| [16:17] | by a very punctual ghost. | 专叫人起床的鬼 |
| [16:20] | I can’t believe you would do that to me. | 你居然那么想方设法地害我 |
| [16:22] | I don’t know why you’re so upset. | 你这么激动干吗 |
| [16:25] | It was two years ago. | 那都是两年前的事了 |
| [16:27] | But I’m just finding out about it now. | 可我现在才发现 |
| [16:29] | It’s like it just happened, and even if it happened two years ago, | 你以为没什么大不了 可这两年 |
| [16:33] | it’s been happening every day since then, because you’ve kept the room. | 我依然每天都在受罪 就因为你把房间抢了 |
| [16:35] | You still have the room. It’s still happening. | 你不是还占着那间屋子吗 什么也没有改变 |
| [16:37] | I’m sorry you feel that way, but to me, | 你这样想我很对不起 不过对我来说 |
| [16:39] | it was something that happened back when we both hated each other. | 当时咱们还互相讨厌 现在已经大不相同了 |
| [16:42] | You’re right. We were different back then. | 确实 当时的咱们跟现在不一样 |
| [16:45] | You were sobbier, I was dumber, but I thought we had | 你当时更烦人 我当时更笨 可我还以为 |
| [16:47] | a salutary influence on each other. | 咱们现在更心有灵犀了 |
| [16:49] | Because of you, I now say things like salutary influence. | 因为你 我现在连心有灵犀这种词都会说了 |
| [16:51] | – I used that correctly, right? – Yes. | -没用错吧 -没有 |
| [16:53] | Good, ’cause I wasn’t sure for a sec. | 那就行 我还没那么自信 |
| [16:55] | The point is, I thought we were friends. | 重点是 我以为咱俩是朋友 |
| [17:00] | I feel bad about this. | 真烦 |
| [17:02] | I thought he’d think it was funny. | 我以为他已经放下了 会一笑而过 |
| [17:04] | You know what the worst part is? | 最烦的是 |
| [17:06] | You just know he’s gonna stop being potty quiet. | 他以后上厕所肯定不会再屏气凝神了 |
| [17:13] | Hey, kid. | 嘿 宝贝儿 |
| [17:14] | Stan, I am freaking out about my speech. | 斯坦 我不知道要怎么写婚礼讲稿 |
| [17:17] | It’s gotta be really good this time. | 这次必须完美无缺 |
| [17:19] | I’m not some five-year-old running around making crazy mouth noises. | 我已经不是整天乱砸吧嘴的五岁小屁孩了 |
| [17:25] | As fun as that is. | 不过真的很好玩哎 |
| [17:28] | What have you got so far? | 你现在写到哪儿了 |
| [17:29] | Here’s my opening joke. | 我的开场笑话是这样的 |
| [17:31] | Got big laughs in school today. | 今天我在学校笑疯了 |
| [17:33] | Booger. | 鼻屎 |
| [17:37] | Booger. Classic. | 鼻屎笑话 经典啊 |
| [17:41] | Let me give you a tip from my days as an under-the-table toastmaster. | 作为资深的桌下主持人 我来教你点诀窍 |
| [17:45] | And if you have to do comedy, use food, preferably pickles. | 如果你要讲笑话 就用上吃的 腌黄瓜就不错 |
| [17:49] | It’s the funniest food. No one knows why. | 腌黄瓜是最好玩的食物 虽然没人知道为什么 |
| [17:52] | Now you tell me. | 我早知道了 |
| [17:54] | I’ve been practicing with these all day. | 我今天一直在拿这个练习 |
| [17:57] | Baby corn, mommy corn. | 玉米宝宝 玉米妈妈 |
| [17:59] | Where’s daddy? | 爸爸去哪儿了 |
| [18:01] | Remember that popcorn we had last night? | 还记得咱昨晚吃的爆米花吗 |
| [18:12] | So, mom, what do you think? | 妈妈 你觉得怎么样 |
| [18:14] | Oh, sweetie, this is such a lovely anniversary present | 宝贝儿 你们送的纪念日礼物 |
| [18:16] | you kids put together for us. | 真不错 |
| [18:18] | And I think I finally figured out my vows. | 我也终于写好婚誓了 |
| [18:20] | Tell me what you think. | 听完要给意见哦 |
| [18:21] | Our love is like a gift, and every gift needs wrapping. | 我们的爱就像一份礼物 而好礼就要包装 |
| [18:26] | And speaking of rapping, oh, you’re not gonna rap your vows, are you? | 说到包装 你不会要用说唱宣誓吧 |
| [18:29] | No! No. | 当然不会 |
| [18:32] | Not anymore. | 这个办法否决 |
| [18:35] | Hey, Tyler, what do you think about me referring to mom | 泰勒 你觉得把你妈比喻成 |
| [18:38] | as “my twinkle-eyed muse”? | “我的美艳女神”咋样 |
| [18:40] | I think it’d be funny. Is that what you were going for? | 很好笑 你是要把这个当笑话来讲吗 |
| [18:47] | Hey, Tyler. | 泰勒 |
| [18:48] | I’ve been thinking about it, and I understand why you’re upset. | 我好好想了想 明白你为什么不高兴了 |
| [18:52] | I get how this feels like it just happened now, | 你现在还记仇也是正常的 |
| [18:54] | and it’s been wrong of me to keep the room these past two years. | 这两年我把你房间据为己有确实不对 |
| [18:57] | And you’re right about how we’ve influenced each other. | 咱们也确实在互相影响 |
| [19:00] | You’ve helped me be more chill-ified. | 你把我变得更“炫酷屌炸天”了 |
| [19:04] | Because of you, I now say things like chill-ified. | 没有你 我根本不知道有这种词 |
| [19:06] | I’ve never said chill-ified. | 我从来没说过这个词 |
| [19:08] | I know. I made it up. | 好吧是我编的 |
| [19:10] | Because of you, I now make up words not just based on Latin roots. | 因为你 我现在不只用拉丁语词根编词了 |
| [19:15] | And we are friends. | 而且咱们是朋友 |
| [19:17] | Sorry that I didn’t treat you like one. | 我不应该那么对你 |
| [19:19] | I want you to have the room back. | 我想把房间还给你 |
| [19:21] | Thanks, Avery. That’s fair. | 谢了 艾芙莉 那就这样吧 |
| [19:23] | After the wedding, I’ll move my stuff in. | 等婚礼结束 我把我的东西搬过去 |
| [19:24] | Okay. And I’ll go into what will now be my room | 好 我也得去我的新房间 |
| [19:27] | and vacuum all the hair out of the carpet. | 把地毯里的头发都用吸尘器吸走 |
| [19:29] | There’s no carpet in there. | 那里没地毯 |
| [19:31] | But it’s wall to wall. | 毛铺了一地啊 |
| [19:35] | To begin the ceremony, we’ll hear from | 典礼开始前 先有请 |
| [19:36] | the youngest member of the Jennings-James family, Chloe. | 詹宁斯-詹姆斯家最小的成员克洛伊讲话 |
| [19:44] | Hi. | 嗨 |
| [19:46] | Two years ago, when mommy and daddy got married, | 两年前 爸爸妈妈结婚了 |
| [19:48] | I got a family that I love more than anything. | 我有了个非常非常爱的家 |
| [19:51] | Especially how we forgive each other, | 我们总能互相谅解 |
| [19:53] | and give each other a chance to fix our mistakes. | 给对方改正错误的机会 |
| [19:56] | Just like I’m getting another chance to do my speech, | 比如我也有了重新演讲一遍的机会 |
| [19:58] | because my family loves me, even when I mess up. | 因为不论我闯下了什么祸 家人都会爱我 |
| [20:02] | Thank you. Booger. | 谢谢大家 鼻屎 |
| [20:07] | I knew that would work. | 就知道很好笑 |
| [20:09] | Thank you, Chloe. | 谢谢克洛伊 |
| [20:13] | We’re gathered here today… | 今天 我们齐聚一堂 |
| [20:14] | You know, Chloe’s right. | 克洛伊说得对 |
| [20:16] | We forgive each other. You can keep the room. | 家人会互相谅解 房间还是留给你吧 |
| [20:19] | No, she’s also right about getting a chance to fix our mistakes. | 她说家人也会给对方改正错误的机会也没错 |
| [20:23] | I made a mistake. It’s your room now. | 之前是我错了 我要弥补过失 |
| [20:25] | Avery, please, just let me be the bigger person here. | 拜托 艾芙莉 不要让我失去做大好人的机会 |
| [20:27] | You can’t be the bigger person. | 你不是大好人 |
| [20:29] | I’m always the bigger person, except for physically, | 我才是 你体型是比我大了点 |
| [20:31] | which is why my emotional size is that much more important to me. | 不过我的情感比你细腻的多 |
| [20:34] | My emotional size is important to me, too. | 我的情感也很细腻 |
| [20:37] | I didn’t know I had one until two seconds ago, | 两秒前我都不知道我有感情 |
| [20:39] | but now, it’s all I care about. | 不过现在我心里波涛汹涌 |
| [20:41] | See how emotionally big I am? | 看到我有多敏感了吗 |
| [20:42] | Forget it, Tyler. | 不行 泰勒 |
| [20:45] | I am going up to your room right now, and I’m taking all my stuff out. | 我现在就要去你房间把我的东西全搬出来 |
| [20:49] | – Oh, no, you’re not. – Yeah, I am. | -不行 -行 |
| [20:51] | No, you’re not. | 不行 |
| [20:54] | The frogs! | 青蛙跑出来了 |
| [20:56] | The frogs! | 又跑出来了 |
| [21:01] | Ellen! | 艾伦 |
| [21:06] | Where did these frogs come from? | 这些青蛙是哪儿来的 |
| [21:08] | From me. | 是我送给你的 |
| [21:10] | I got you frogs to replace the ones you got rid of for me two years ago. | 你两年前帮我把青蛙赶走 现在我想把当年错弥补回来 |
| [21:13] | Really? | 真的 |
| [21:15] | Oh, honey, that is so thoughtful. | 亲爱的 你想得真周到 |
| [21:18] | Bennett, let’s not even say our vows. | 班尼特 咱们别宣誓了 |
| [21:21] | They would never top what Chloe said. | 怎么说也没有克洛伊的好 |
| [21:23] | Even though mine would’ve kicked yours’ butt. | 不过我的肯定比你的好 |
| [21:26] | You don’t have anything, do you? | 你没写出来吧 |
| [21:28] | No, I don’t. | 是的 |
| [21:30] | I win… because I have you. | 那我赢了 因为我有你 |
| [21:33] | Eh? | 怎么样 |
| [21:35] | You don’t have anything either. | 你也没想出来 |
| [21:36] | No, I do not. | 没 |
| [21:38] | – I love you. – I love you, too. | -我爱你 -我也爱你 |
| [21:46] | I really enjoyed hearing the story | 听孩子们怎么相识 |
| [21:47] | of how the kids met each other, | 怎么成长为一个真正的 |
| [21:50] | and how much they’ve grown into a real family. | 家庭的故事 真的很享受 |
| [21:54] | And Tyler and Avery decided that Avery | 泰勒和艾芙莉也决定 |
| [21:56] | will keep her room until she goes off to college. | 等艾芙莉上大学再把房间让出去 |
| [21:58] | Then Tyler will get it until he finishes high school. | 然后等泰勒高中毕业 房间就是他的了 |
| [22:02] | And the best part of the wedding redo | 第二次婚礼的最大亮点 |
| [22:04] | was the under-the-table toast. | 就是我的桌下祝酒辞 |
| [22:06] | Ellen, Bennett, you’re inspiring, | 艾伦和班尼特 |
| [22:12] | the way you’ve brought this family together. | 你们组建起这个家庭真是太令人感动了 |
| [22:14] | Just remember, the key to a successful marriage | 记住 幸福婚姻的诀窍 |
| [22:16] | is never go to bed angry, listen to each other, | 就是睡觉前放松心情 认真倾听对方 |
| [22:20] | and if he scratches on the door late at night, | 如果对方大半夜挠门 |
| [22:23] | let him out. He just has to pee. | 就放他出去 他尿急 |
| [22:26] | I love you guys. | 我爱你们 |
| [22:28] | Who was that, Bennett? | 班尼特 谁在说话 |
| [22:30] | Probably someone from your side of the family. | 应该是你们家亲戚吧 |