| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | Close your eyes. | 闭上眼睛 |
| [00:05] | Okay. | 好啊 |
| [00:08] | Open them. | 张开看看呗 |
| [00:12] | Do not hold a cat in the face of someone who startles easily. | 别把猫捧到容易受惊的人眼前好吗 |
| [00:16] | What is wrong with you? | 你有什么毛病啊 |
| [00:18] | Well, you shouldn’t have closed your eyes. | 那你就不应该闭上眼睛呀 |
| [00:20] | -You told me to. -It’s an expression. | -是你叫我闭的啊 -我不就说说而已嘛 |
| [00:22] | “You can’t win ’em all” Is an expression. | “你不可能事事如意” 这种话才叫说说而已 |
| [00:24] | “Close your eyes” Is a command. | “闭上眼睛”是种命令好吗 |
| [00:26] | Well, you can’t win ’em all. | 哼 你不可能事事如意的 |
| [00:29] | And please tell me you did not get a cat. | 拜托你了 千万别告诉我你带了只猫回来 |
| [00:31] | Ellen, you know you’re not an animal person. | 艾伦 你也晓得你不是喜欢动物的人 |
| [00:34] | No, I’m not a dog, bird, turtle, lizard, | 对啊 我不喜欢 狗 鸟 龟 蜥蜴 |
| [00:37] | snake, gerbil, hamster, ferret, goat, sheep, | 蛇 沙鼠 仓鼠 雪貂 山羊 绵羊 |
| [00:40] | cow, chicken, rabbit, rooster, pigeon, horse, | 牛 鸡 兔 公鸡 鸽子 马 |
| [00:44] | Clydesdale horse, miniature horse, | 挽马 矮马 |
| [00:46] | sea horse, donkey, mule, or kangaroo person. | 海马 驴子 骡子 或者袋鼠 |
| [00:50] | But I am a cat person. | 可是我喜欢猫呀 |
| [00:51] | Well, that’s true. | 好吧 看来是真的 |
| [00:53] | Cats are the one animal | 猫是唯一一种 |
| [00:54] | you have not engaged in combat with. | 你还没与其战斗过的动物 |
| [00:56] | Wait a minute, kangaroo? | 等下 你刚刚说袋鼠 |
| [00:58] | Incident at the zoo. He threw the first punch. | 动物园一战 是他先出拳的 |
| [01:02] | Anyway this cat is only here for a couple of days. | 总之这只猫只会在这里待几天而已 |
| [01:04] | I’m cat-sitting for a friend. | 朋友托我帮忙照顾猫咪 |
| [01:05] | She is cute. | 她真可爱 |
| [01:08] | Let’s call her Marjorie. | 我们就叫她玛乔丽吧 |
| [01:09] | She already has a name. Whiskers. | 她早就有名字了 叫小胡子 |
| [01:12] | And Marjorie? Really? | 还有 玛乔丽 你是认真的吗 |
| [01:13] | You want to name the cat after my mother? | 你想用我妈妈的名字来给这只猫命名 |
| [01:14] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道为何 |
| [01:16] | I saw the claws and the arrogant detachment, | 看着她的爪子和略带傲慢的冷漠 |
| [01:17] | and I thought of her. | 我就想起了你妈妈 |
| [01:21] | What is that cat doing here? | 这儿怎么有只猫 |
| [01:23] | Stan will freak out if he sees a cat in the house. | 要是给斯坦看见了 他会发疯的 |
| [01:27] | Are you not thinking straight? | 你是头脑不清醒了吗 |
| [01:28] | Did that kangaroo beat you senseless? | 难道是那只袋鼠把你给打傻了 |
| [01:31] | Avery, that whole thing about dogs hating cats | 艾芙莉 猫狗冤家这种事 |
| [01:34] | is just a common misconception. | 只是一个人们的普遍误解 |
| [01:36] | Like that a kangaroo | 就比如人们总说 |
| [01:37] | will let you put anything in its pouch. | 袋鼠会任你放东西进它的育儿袋一样 |
| [01:40] | So you’ve forgotten | 这么说你是忘了 |
| [01:41] | what Stan did that time a cat got in the house? | 上次家里有猫的时候 斯坦是怎么做的咯 |
| [01:47] | Still think it was a good idea | 事到如今 你还觉得 |
| [01:49] | to feed the neighborhood stray? | 收养附近的流浪猫是个好主意吗 |
| [01:50] | No, | 不 |
| [01:51] | it was a bit of a cat-astrophe. | 我有点懂什么叫一只猫引发的灾难了 |
| [01:54] | Good one, Ellen. | 说得好 艾伦 |
| [01:56] | More like a cat-aclysm. | 更像是场猫咪引发的惨案 |
| [01:59] | Oh, good one, Bennett. | 说得好 班尼特 |
| [02:01] | Don’t you ever do that again. | 你敢再抢我台词试试 |
| [02:05] | We have to keep this a secret from Stan! | 我们不能让斯坦知道这只猫 |
| [02:07] | I hope we’re not too late. | 希望现在为时未晚 |
| [02:08] | Something’s not right. | 好像有点不对劲 |
| [02:12] | Rotting fish, smelly cheese, | 腐鱼 臭奶酪 |
| [02:14] | garlic pickle… | 蒜腌黄瓜 |
| [02:16] | we need something stronger to put him off the scent. | 我们还得要找点更重味道的东西来干扰他的嗅觉 |
| [02:17] | Something really rancid. | 要更加恶心的东西 |
| [02:19] | Oh, Bennett! Your stinky foot! | 哦 班尼特 放上你的臭脚 |
| [02:20] | Good idea! | 好主意 |
| [02:22] | No, the other one! | 不对 要另外一只 |
| [02:24] | Oh, of course! | 啊 当然 |
| [02:25] | The left one smells worse. | 左脚总是闻起来更臭 |
| [02:26] | We don’t know why. | 我们都不知道原因 |
| [02:27] | Maybe it’s the hali-toe-sis. | 可能是因为脚臭吧 |
| [02:30] | Good one, Ben… Never mind. | 好一个双关 当我没说 |
| [02:35] | I just hope this works. | 希望能管用啦 |
| [02:39] | Nope. False alarm. Just Bennett’s foot. | 不对 假警报 只是班尼特的臭脚丫子而已 |
| [02:42] | Ah, the left one. | 啊 是左脚 |
| [03:02] | Dogs in swimwear. Kinda disturbing. | 穿着泳衣的狗狗 有点闹心 |
| [03:07] | What’s kinda disturbing | 最闹心的是 |
| [03:08] | is that I have that suit. | 我也有那套泳衣 |
| [03:11] | Is that Rusty? | 那是锈锈吗 |
| [03:13] | You think you know a dog. | 我还以为我了解她呢 |
| [03:17] | What kind of weirdos go on these sites? | 到底是哪些怪胎会上这种网站啊 |
| [03:19] | You do, weirdo. | 你啊 怪胎 |
| [03:20] | That’s because you sent it to me, weirdo. | 是你把网址发给我的 怪胎 |
| [03:22] | That’s because I knew you were a weirdo. | 就是因为我知道你是个怪胎 我才会发给你啊 |
| [03:24] | -Weirdo. -You’re weirder. | -怪胎 -你更怪胎啦 |
| [03:28] | Just returning your key from the other day when I walked Stan for you. | 我是来还钥匙的 上次帮你去遛斯坦的时候拿的 |
| [03:31] | Oh, hey, Nikki, thanks. | 哦 你好啊 妮基 谢啦 |
| [03:34] | What are we laughing at? | 咱在笑什么哪 |
| [03:38] | dogs wearing swimwear, that is so funny. | 穿泳衣的狗狗耶 真搞笑 |
| [03:43] | Oh, I’m so sorry. | 哦 真是对不起 |
| [03:45] | I didn’t mean to do that. You were just crowding me. | 我不是故意的 谁叫你挤我呢 |
| [03:47] | This is really more of a two person bench. | 这张椅子好像真的只能坐两个人呢 |
| [03:50] | Oh, I landed on my phone. | 噢我刚刚坐到手机上了 |
| [03:54] | Sweet. You butt-dialed me. | 亲爱的 你用屁股给我打电话了呢 |
| [03:55] | Hey, what’s up? | 嘿 在干嘛 |
| [03:57] | Hey, just sittin’ on the floor. Kinda diggin’ it. | 嘿 我正坐在地板上呢 还挺舒服的 |
| [03:59] | Thinking about standing up. Haven’t quite decided. | 正考虑要不要站起来 我还没决定好 |
| [04:03] | Oh, hold on, I’m getting another call. | 噢 先别挂机 我又有个电话拨进来 |
| [04:06] | Hey, Nikki, what’s up? | 嘿 妮基 怎么了 |
| [04:07] | Hi, Tyler. | 你好啊 泰勒 |
| [04:09] | I’m going to have some of your smoothie. | 我想喝一口你的奶昔 |
| [04:11] | I bet we have the same favorite flavor. | 我猜我们喜欢一样的口味 |
| [04:14] | You like strawberry-banana? | 你喜欢草莓香蕉味 |
| [04:18] | The seedy strawberries and slimy bananas | 多籽草莓和黏滑香蕉的口感 |
| [04:21] | make it so delicious. | 真是太美味了 |
| [04:25] | Oh, look, here’s my favorite part | 你看 我最爱的部分来了 |
| [04:27] | where it comes back in my mouth | 奶昔回到嘴里的时候 |
| [04:28] | like a little encore. | 就像是一种无穷的回味 |
| [04:30] | One time when I was eating spaghetti, | 有次我吃意大利面的时候 |
| [04:32] | I burped up a whole noodle. | 我打嗝的时候打出了一整盘面 |
| [04:33] | True story. | 我说真的 |
| [04:35] | Nikki, I need to talk to you in the kitchen | 妮基 我想和你去厨房 |
| [04:38] | about something really embarrassing. | 聊一些很尴尬的事 |
| [04:40] | Oh, is this about your one pointy ear? | 哦 你是想说你那只尖耳朵吗 |
| [04:43] | It’s so cute. It’s like you’re half an elf. | 我觉得很可爱啊 就好像你有一半精灵血统一样 |
| [04:46] | No, it’s not about that. | 不 我想说的不是那个 |
| [04:48] | And why does no one focus on the round ear? | 为什么就没人关注我那只圆耳朵呢 |
| [04:51] | What were you doing in there? | 你刚刚在干嘛啊 |
| [04:53] | – You were acting like a fool. – I know. | -就像个傻子一样 -我知道 |
| [04:55] | – And drinking a strawberry-banana smoothie. – I know! | -还喝了草莓香蕉奶昔 -我知道 |
| [04:57] | – You hate strawberries and bananas. – I know! | -你明明最讨厌草莓香蕉冰沙的 -我知道 |
| [04:58] | – Why are you doing this? – I don’t know! | -那你干嘛还要这么做啊 -我不知道 |
| [05:02] | I think I like Tyler. | 我觉得我喜欢上泰勒了 |
| [05:04] | But Tyler’s been chasing after you forever | 可泰勒一直都在追求你啊 |
| [05:06] | and you were never interested. | 而且你还一直都不搭理他 |
| [05:08] | Which is the thing I liked best about you. | 这正是我最喜欢你的地方 |
| [05:10] | What happened? | 到底怎么回事 |
| [05:11] | I think it’s… | 我觉得只是因为 |
| [05:12] | now that he’s with Emily | 现在他和艾米莉一起了 |
| [05:14] | and he’s not trying so hard with me, | 他开始对我没那么殷勤了 |
| [05:16] | I see how great he is. | 我才发现他还挺好的 |
| [05:18] | But he’s not great. Trust me. | 但是他真的没那么好 相信我 |
| [05:20] | You were right the first time. | 你之前是对的 |
| [05:23] | Chloe, we have to keep that cat hidden from Stan. | 克洛伊 我们不能让斯坦发现那只猫 |
| [05:26] | You know how he hates cats. | 你知道他有多讨厌猫 |
| [05:28] | It’s okay. | 没事的啦 |
| [05:29] | He’ll like this one once I teach it to talk. | 我教会猫猫说话以后 斯坦就会喜欢上它了 |
| [05:31] | Say, “There’s the sugar.” | 跟我说 “好东西在这儿呢” |
| [05:33] | Come on, cat, you can do it. | 说呀 猫猫 你可以的 |
| [05:35] | “There’s the sugar!” | “好东西在这儿呢” |
| [05:38] | Chloe, we know animals don’t talk. | 克洛伊 我们都知道动物是不会说话的 |
| [05:42] | I think it’s cute that she thinks animals talk. | 我倒觉得她认为动物会说话这一点很可爱啦 |
| [05:44] | Thanks, Nikki. | 谢谢 妮基 |
| [05:46] | I think it’s cute that you think animals don’t talk. | 我也觉得你认为动物不会说话这一点很可爱 |
| [05:52] | So, what’s wrong with your friend Nikki? | 好吧 你朋友妮基是怎么了 |
| [05:54] | I know. She just took my smoothie. | 我也想知道啊 她刚刚还拿走了我的奶昔 |
| [05:56] | Is she bringing it back? | 她还会不会还给我呢 |
| [05:57] | You don’t do that to somebody. | 一般人可不会做这种事 |
| [05:59] | No, I mean | 不是啦 我想说 |
| [06:00] | it’s like she’s jealous or something. | 她是不是有点嫉妒我啊 |
| [06:02] | Did you two ever go out? | 你们是不是约会过啊 |
| [06:04] | Oh, I see. | 哦 我知道了 |
| [06:05] | You’re wondering if you have anything to be jealous about. | 你是在想 你有没有必要嫉妒她 |
| [06:07] | Don’t worry. | 不用担心 |
| [06:08] | Nikki was never my girlfriend. | 妮基从来就不是我女朋友 |
| [06:09] | She’s just the girl | 她就是那种 |
| [06:11] | I always wanted and could never get. | 我死也追不到的女孩 |
| [06:13] | What? | 什么 |
| [06:14] | Yeah, you have nothing to worry about, Emily. | 对啊 你没什么好担心的 艾米莉 |
| [06:16] | I asked her out, like, dozens of times | 我都约了她几十次了 |
| [06:17] | and she always said no. | 她老是拒绝我 |
| [06:19] | So you have, like, a crush on her? | 所以你是对她很有好感咯 |
| [06:22] | Okay, I said that wrong. | 好吧 我刚才的说法有点问题 |
| [06:23] | What I meant to say was, | 其实我是想说 |
| [06:25] | you have nothing to worry about, Emily. | 你没什么好担心的 艾米莉 |
| [06:26] | And stop talking. | 我还是不说话比较好 |
| [06:29] | Okay, you know what? | 好吧 那你给我听着 |
| [06:31] | I don’t want you hanging out with Nikki anymore. | 我希望你以后不要再跟妮基出去了 |
| [06:33] | -What? -Yeah. | -什么 -没错 |
| [06:35] | If you want me to be your girlfriend, | 如果你想要我当你女朋友 |
| [06:36] | she can’t be your friend. | 你就不能和她做朋友 |
| [06:37] | Well, I do want you to be my girlfriend. | 呃 我确实想和你交往 |
| [06:39] | Okay. | 可以啊 |
| [06:41] | You’re cool about this, right? | 那你是同意了我的条件咯 |
| [06:42] | Yeah, I totally understand. | 对啊 我完全理解你的做法 |
| [06:44] | I’m just mad at myself for telling you too much. | 我只是觉得有点不爽 早知道就不该跟你说那些有的没的 |
| [06:47] | I mean, yeah, I totally understand. | 我是说 对啊 我完全理解你的做法 |
| [06:49] | And stop talking. | 我还是不说话比较好 |
| [06:56] | So then Emily said that if I wanted her | 然后艾米莉就跟我说 |
| [06:57] | to be my girlfriend, | 如果我想和她交往 |
| [06:59] | I couldn’t be friends with Nikki. | 我就要跟妮基绝交 |
| [07:00] | What did you say? | 然后你怎么说 |
| [07:01] | Well, I said I understood, | 呃 我说我能理解她 |
| [07:03] | I mean, I don’t want Emily to be upset, | 我不想让艾米莉伤心 |
| [07:04] | but Nikki’s my friend. | 可是妮基也是我的朋友啊 |
| [07:06] | It doesn’t seem right to do that to a friend. | 对朋友做这种事好像不太好 |
| [07:08] | Plus, Nikki smells really good. | 而且 妮基闻起来很香 |
| [07:10] | Really good. | 真的很香 |
| [07:11] | As a friend. | 作为朋友来说 |
| [07:13] | She smells really good as a friend. | 作为朋友来说 她闻起来真的很香 |
| [07:15] | I’m sorry, Tyler, | 真抱歉 泰勒 |
| [07:16] | but once you have a girlfriend, | 但是你一旦有了女朋友 |
| [07:18] | you shouldn’t be smelling another girl. | 你就不应该再闻别的女孩 |
| [07:20] | No matter how much she smells like | 无论她香如丁香肉桂 |
| [07:22] | lilac and cinnamon and moves like curtains blown by the summer breeze. | 抑或动如夏日微风下轻扬的窗帘 |
| [07:27] | Not my words… | 不是我原创的啊 |
| [07:28] | the poet laureate of El Salvador. | 是一位萨尔瓦多的著名诗人写的 |
| [07:31] | Lilac and cinnamon! | 丁香配肉桂 |
| [07:33] | No wonder I think of Nikki | 归不得我在妈妈的浴室里 |
| [07:34] | when I’m eating churros in Mom’s bathroom. | 吃西班牙油条的时候总会想起妮基 |
| [07:37] | Why are you eating churros in Mom’s bathroom? | 你为什么要在妈妈的浴室里吃西班牙油条啊 |
| [07:39] | I enjoy eating them in the jacuzzi tub. | 我很享受在按摩浴缸里吃东西的感觉 |
| [07:42] | Sometimes I just need a Tyler Day. | 我也需要一个泰勒日来放松一下的嘛 |
| [07:45] | Ha, I hear that. | 哈 我懂的 |
| [07:46] | On Stan Days, | 每到斯坦日 |
| [07:48] | I just light incense, play music, and cry. | 我通常都会点个香 放放音乐 然后泪流满面 |
| [07:52] | I mean, I chase squirrels and roll around in the mud. | 好吧 我其实是在追松鼠然后在泥巴里打滚 |
| [07:56] | Yeah, that’s what I do. | 没错 那才是我的风格 |
| [08:00] | Tyler, you have to tell Nikki | 泰勒 你得告诉妮基 |
| [08:01] | you can’t be friends anymore. | 你们不能再当朋友了 |
| [08:02] | Yeah, I guess. | 我觉得也是 |
| [08:03] | I just don’t know what I’m gonna say. | 可我不知道我该怎么说 |
| [08:05] | Tell her you think of her | 你就跟她说 |
| [08:06] | when you’re eating churros in Mom’s bathroom. | 你在妈的浴室里面吃西班牙油条的时候总会想起她 |
| [08:08] | That should do the trick. | 绝对管用 |
| [08:15] | Whiskers, I understand why you have to hide here | 小胡子 我懂你躲在这里是为了 |
| [08:18] | so Stan won’t find you. | 不让斯坦找到你 |
| [08:20] | But why does she have to be in my office | 可为啥她就非得要在我要工作的时候 |
| [08:22] | when I’m trying to work? | 呆在我办公室里啊 |
| [08:23] | I’m a cat person. | 我是喜欢猫的人 |
| [08:26] | But not a cat lady. | 可我并不是猫夫人 |
| [08:27] | The difference is the number of cats | 区别在于猫的数量 |
| [08:29] | and the level of sadness. | 和幽怨的程度 |
| [08:32] | Okay. That explains why you’re here. | 好吧 这也算解释了你在这里的原因啦 |
| [08:35] | Sort of. | 某种程度上 |
| [08:36] | But why does she have to be in my office? | 可她又为啥要来我办公室呢 |
| [08:41] | I like petting. I’ll pet anything. | 我喜欢到处摸摸 我什么都摸 |
| [08:44] | Cats, bunnies, old folks, babies, | 猫啦 兔子啦 老人啦 小宝宝啦 |
| [08:46] | sometimes the wall. | 有时连墙都摸 |
| [08:49] | I may have a problem. | 我可能有点问题 |
| [08:51] | What are you guys doing? You left the door ajar. | 你们在干嘛呢 门还半开着 |
| [08:56] | Stan could have wandered in. | 斯坦可能会跑进来的 |
| [08:57] | We need to keep this cat a secret. | 我们要藏好这只猫啊 |
| [08:59] | Avery, I think you’re overreacting. | 艾芙莉 你太大惊小怪了 |
| [09:01] | It’s not like Stan is on the prowl | 斯坦又不会到处巡逻 |
| [09:03] | searching for it, or something. | 找猫什么的 |
| [09:05] | There’s something here. | 绝对有什么东西溜进来了 |
| [09:09] | Where is it? What is it? | 它在哪儿 它到底是什么 |
| [09:13] | Such a sweetie. | 真可爱啊 |
| [09:15] | A cat! | 是猫 |
| [09:19] | Oh, boy. | 哦 糟了 |
| [09:23] | Just be cool. | 淡定 |
| [09:25] | Like you’ve been here the whole time. | 装作你一直在这里的样子 |
| [09:31] | A cat, Avery! | 有猫 艾芙莉 |
| [09:32] | A cat! Here in my house! | 有猫 我的房子里有猫 |
| [09:34] | Okay, I get why you’re upset. | 好吧 我知道你为啥这么烦恼 |
| [09:37] | But Mom’s just cat-sitting for a friend. | 可妈妈只是在帮她的朋友照顾猫咪 |
| [09:39] | It’s not like the cat even did anything to you. | 而且这只猫也没对你做什么呀 |
| [09:41] | Your nose isn’t finely tuned like mine, | 只是因为你没有我的超精细鼻子 |
| [09:42] | so you didn’t notice, | 所以没法察觉而已 |
| [09:43] | but it was farting hate into the room. | 它其实一直都在放着带憎恨味道的屁呢 |
| [09:46] | Maybe you don’t understand | 或许只是因为你不明白 |
| [09:48] | how much dogs and cats despise each other. | 猫狗有多鄙视对方 |
| [09:50] | Okay, Stan, I get it. | 好吧 斯坦 我懂了 |
| [09:52] | You hate cats so much that you’re making stuff up. | 你鄙视猫到了要制造事端的地步了 |
| [09:55] | Hate farts are real! | 恨意的屁是真的 |
| [09:57] | And so is a dog’s loathing of cats. | 狗狗对猫的恨意也是真的 |
| [10:00] | Okay, I get it. | 好好好 我知道了 |
| [10:01] | It’s like the Red Sox and the Yankees. | 就跟红袜队和洋基队的关系一样 |
| [10:02] | No, it’s worse. | 不 还要更糟 |
| [10:04] | Red Sox sometimes become Yankees, | 红袜队队员有时还会变成洋基队队员 |
| [10:06] | but a dog would never become a cat, | 可是狗狗永远都不会变成猫 |
| [10:08] | no matter how much money you offer it. | 不管你给它多少钱 |
| [10:11] | How many times do I have to say I get it? | 你是想要我说多少次“我知道了” |
| [10:13] | How many times have you said it? | 你说了多少次 |
| [10:14] | I think three. | 三次吧大概 |
| [10:15] | Then, yeah, that should do it. | 那好吧 应该够了 |
| [10:20] | It figures that Ellen would be behind this. | 艾伦很有可能是这件事的主谋 |
| [10:22] | She’s always saying how she’s a cat person. | 她老是在强调她很喜欢猫 |
| [10:24] | She even posts pictures of herself online | 她甚至还把她带着猫胡子的照片 |
| [10:26] | wearing a cat beard. | 传上网了 |
| [10:30] | And here’s a cat with an Ellen beard. | 还有猫猫带着艾伦胡子的照片 |
| [10:34] | Well, if she’s going to bring a cat into the house, | 不过 如果她真的要把猫带进屋子里来 |
| [10:37] | I’m not just going to sit here and blog about it. | 我也不能悠闲地坐着刷博客啊 |
| [10:39] | I’m gonna do something. | 我得做点什么才行 |
| [10:42] | Hey, little kitty. | 你好哇小猫咪 |
| [10:44] | Time for me to say goodbye like | 是时候给我像那些悲情动物电影一样 |
| [10:45] | in all the poignant animal movies. | 和这个家说再见了 |
| [10:48] | Just go! Get out of here! | 你走吧 离开这里 |
| [10:50] | What are you waiting for? | 你还在等什么 |
| [10:52] | Just leave and don’t look back! | 走 不要回头地走吧 |
| [10:57] | Take your hate stink somewhere else. | 把你的浓浓恨意散发到别的地方去吧 |
| [10:59] | And good luck finding a cab this time of night. | 愿你今夜运气不错能找到一辆出租车过夜啦 |
| [11:07] | Ah, that’s nice. | 啊 这感觉倍儿爽 |
| [11:13] | What happened? | 什么情况 |
| [11:16] | She’s so warm. And so cuddly. | 她好暖和啊 真想抱抱她 |
| [11:20] | How can something so wrong feel so right? | 为什么我会喜欢这种如此逆天的生物 |
| [11:27] | What do you mean we can’t hang out anymore? | 你说我们不能一起玩了是什么意思啊 |
| [11:29] | Nikki, you’re a good friend, | 妮基 你是我的好朋友 |
| [11:30] | but it makes Emily uncomfortable. | 可是我们在一起会让艾米莉觉得不舒服 |
| [11:32] | And nothing makes her uncomfortable. | 不过也没什么能让她舒服的 |
| [11:33] | Not even this. | 甚至连这个都不行 |
| [11:38] | That does not make me uncomfortable either. | 你这么做 我也不太舒服啊 |
| [11:41] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [11:42] | Yes, I like it very much. | 不 其实我非常喜欢 |
| [11:44] | But keeping your arm outstretched | 不过你手一直伸着 |
| [11:47] | must be uncomfortable for you, | 你肯定也不怎么舒服吧 |
| [11:48] | so please stop immediately. | 所以拜托你现在就收手 |
| [11:52] | Anyway, I’m sorry. | 总之 对不起 |
| [11:54] | Emily’s my girlfriend | 艾米莉是我女朋友 |
| [11:55] | and she doesn’t want us being friends. | 她不想让我和你交朋友 |
| [11:56] | What do you want? | 那你想怎么样呢 |
| [11:58] | What choice do I have? | 我还能怎么样 |
| [11:59] | Well, you could break up with Emily. | 其实 你可以和艾米莉分手啊 |
| [12:02] | But then I won’t have a girlfriend. | 可是那样一来 我就没有女朋友了 |
| [12:05] | Yes, you will. | 你会有女朋友的 |
| [12:06] | No, Nikki, | 不 妮基 |
| [12:07] | if I break up with my girlfriend, | 如果我和我女朋友分手 |
| [12:09] | then I won’t have a girlfriend. | 那我就没有女朋友了 |
| [12:10] | Maybe it’s different in your country. | 可能和你国家的风俗有点不一样 |
| [12:13] | Tyler. | 泰勒 |
| [12:14] | You could have another girlfriend. | 你会有另外一个女朋友啊 |
| [12:16] | Yeah, I’m sure I could find someone, | 是啊 我也知道我会找到另一个人 |
| [12:18] | but I don’t know who. | 可是我不知道会是谁啊 |
| [12:19] | And whoever it is | 而且不管那个人是谁 |
| [12:20] | might still have a problem with me | 可能她还是会不喜欢 |
| [12:21] | being friends with you, | 我和你做朋友 |
| [12:22] | and we’d be right back here. | 然后我们就会又回到这个问题上来 |
| [12:24] | Tyler, I’m talking about me! | 泰勒 我是在说我啊 |
| [12:26] | I’ll be your girlfriend! | 我可以当你女朋友啊 |
| [12:28] | Nikki, Emily doesn’t want you to be my friend. | 妮基 艾米莉不想你当我朋友 |
| [12:30] | She’ll never go for you being my girlfriend. | 更何况是做我女朋友呢 |
| [12:33] | Wait. Whoa. | 等等 |
| [12:39] | My world no longer makes sense! | 我的世界要崩坏了 |
| [12:41] | I’m freaking out, Avery! | 我要疯了 艾芙莉 |
| [12:43] | Light the incense | 快烧香 |
| [12:44] | and crank up my rainy day playlist. | 播点下雨天必听歌曲 |
| [12:46] | I need a Stan Day. | 我需要斯坦日来解放自己 |
| [12:48] | Stan, what’s the matter? | 斯坦 发生什么事了 |
| [12:50] | Something horrible. Something truly horrible. | 发生了一些恐怖的事 超级恐怖的事 |
| [12:53] | I think I like a cat. | 我好像开始喜欢猫了 |
| [12:56] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:57] | I don’t know how it happened. | 我也不知道是怎么回事 |
| [12:58] | I was lying there. | 我就躺在那里 |
| [12:59] | Then the cat was lying there. | 那只猫也躺在那里 |
| [13:01] | And it felt so good. | 那种感觉真是太棒了 |
| [13:03] | It’s okay, Stan. | 这不是很好嘛斯坦 |
| [13:05] | Your thinking on cats is evolving | 你对于猫的看法终于发生变化了 |
| [13:07] | and there’s nothing wrong with that. | 而且是往好的方面变 |
| [13:08] | The craziest thing just happened to me! | 我刚刚遇到了史上最疯狂的事 |
| [13:10] | No, the craziest thing just happened to me! | 不 我才遇到了史上最疯狂的事 |
| [13:11] | Mine is crazier. | 我的更疯狂 |
| [13:13] | Whatever it is, it’s not as crazy as me | 不管你说的是啥 都不够 |
| [13:14] | liking a cat. | 我喜欢上猫更疯狂 |
| [13:15] | Nikki wants to be my girlfriend! | 妮基想当我女朋友 |
| [13:17] | You like a cat? | 你喜欢猫 |
| [13:18] | Yeah. Nikki wants to be your girlfriend? | 对啊 话说妮基想当你女朋友 |
| [13:21] | Yeah! | 对啊 |
| [13:23] | Okay, it’s like the world is spinning off its axis. | 好吧 看来这个世界都乱套了 |
| [13:26] | The laws of physics no longer apply. | 物理定律再也不起作用了 |
| [13:28] | The atomic weight of barium is less than that of lithium! | 钡的原子量要比锂的小了 |
| [13:32] | It’s not less than that of lithium. | 其实并没有比锂的小啦 |
| [13:33] | Not by a long shot. | 绝对不可能的 |
| [13:38] | So what are you going to do about Nikki? | 那你打算和妮基怎么样呢 |
| [13:41] | I don’t know. | 我正愁着呢 |
| [13:42] | I guess I have to choose between her and Emily. | 我觉得我得在她和艾米莉之间选一个 |
| [13:44] | It’s really tough. | 这真的太难了 |
| [13:45] | I mean, things are great with Emily. | 我的意思是 和艾米莉一起的感觉很棒 |
| [13:47] | We have so much fun together, | 我们一起真的很开心 |
| [13:48] | and I know what I have with her. | 和她在一起 我知道我拥有些什么 |
| [13:49] | Emily it is. | 看来是要选艾米莉咯 |
| [13:51] | But Nikki is the one I’ve always wanted to be with. | 可是妮基是我一直都想要交往的对象 |
| [13:53] | I’m thinking maybe now Nikki. | 现在可能又会选妮基了 |
| [13:56] | But she was never interested. | 可是她之前都一副不感兴趣的样子 |
| [13:57] | How can I trust it? | 我又怎么相信她呢 |
| [13:58] | Maybe she just likes me because I’m unavailable. | 搞不好她喜欢我只是因为我不再追她了 |
| [14:00] | Boy, that Emily is a real peach. | 孩子 艾米莉可真的是个尤物啊 |
| [14:03] | But Nikki is Nikki. She’s just so Nikki. | 可是妮基是妮基啊 她是那么地迷人 |
| [14:06] | Back on the Nikki train. All aboard! | 又回到妮基号列车上了 都给我上车 |
| [14:09] | Stan, you’re not helping. | 斯坦 你一点都没在帮忙好吗 |
| [14:11] | Hey, at least you’re picking within your species. | 嘿 你至少还是在你的同类间作选择呢 |
| [14:13] | I’m cuddling with the enemy. | 我可是在拥抱我的敌人啊 |
| [14:14] | Oh, look at that. | 噢 你看看 |
| [14:16] | She’s grooming me. | 她在帮我梳毛呢 |
| [14:18] | She’s so thoughtful. She always puts me first. | 她多体贴啊 她总是把我放在第一位 |
| [14:23] | Help me, Avery. What should I do? | 快帮帮我啊 艾芙莉 我该怎么办 |
| [14:25] | Tyler, in the couple of years I’ve known you, | 泰勒 在我认识你的这几年里 |
| [14:27] | I’ve compiled a binder with solutions to problems | 我已经把你可能遇到的问题及解决方案 |
| [14:30] | you might encounter… | 都集合成一本书了 |
| [14:31] | as kind of a mental exercise. | 算是平时的思维训练吧 |
| [14:33] | It’s 400 pages long | 这本书有400页 |
| [14:36] | and divided into 17 subchapters. | 由17节组成 |
| [14:39] | Two girls liking you is not in there. | 不过里面没有俩女孩喜欢你这一节 |
| [14:43] | My finger is stuck in the pinchy thing. | 我的手指被这玩意夹住了 |
| [14:45] | Oh, that’s on page three. | 噢 这个问题在第三页 |
| [14:49] | So what should I do about Emily and Nikki? | 那我应该怎么做呢 |
| [14:51] | Tyler, I’m glad you came to me. | 泰勒 你能来问我 我很欣慰 |
| [14:54] | I have studied the cognitive process of | 我已经从心理学的角度上 |
| [14:57] | decision making extensively | 对作选择的认知历程 |
| [14:59] | from a psychological standpoint, | 有过广泛的研究 |
| [15:00] | and I’ve concluded that the human mind | 我总结出人类所作的选择中 |
| [15:02] | will make the wrong decision half the time. | 有一半是错的 |
| [15:06] | You might as well take this coin and toss it in the air. | 你也不妨试试把这个硬币扔到半空 |
| [15:10] | Heads is Nikki and tails is Emily. | 正面就选妮基 反面就选艾米莉吧 |
| [15:13] | You know, Ellen was heads. | 你懂的 艾伦当初就是正面 |
| [15:16] | Sometimes I wonder whatever happened to tails. | 有时我还会想 为什么就没扔到背面呢 |
| [15:22] | Never break up with a girl, Tyler. | 永远别和女孩子分手 泰勒 |
| [15:24] | It hurts them too much. | 这么做会伤透她们的心 |
| [15:26] | You may think that you can say it in a way | 你可能觉得你能把话说得不那么伤人 |
| [15:28] | that will cushion the blow, but you can’t. | 可事实就是你不能 |
| [15:29] | Oh, I’ve heard them all. | 哦 这种话我听得多了 |
| [15:31] | “It’s not you, it’s me,” “It’s pretty much you,” | “错的人不是你 是我”“可能是你” |
| [15:34] | “It’s definitely you,” | “肯定是你” |
| [15:36] | “The security camera says it was you.” | “安保摄像头都说是你了” |
| [15:40] | One is as painful to hear as the next. | 每一种听起来都一样伤人 |
| [15:42] | But you don’t know heartache | 可这些都不算是真正的心痛 |
| [15:44] | until you’ve been dumped by a boy’s entire family. | 除非你试过被一个男孩的整个家庭嫌弃 |
| [15:48] | They just surrounded their son | 他们围着他们的宝贝儿子 |
| [15:49] | and screamed at me in Portuguese. | 朝着我用葡萄牙语大吼大叫 |
| [15:56] | “Leave now, crazy woman.” | “立刻滚出这里 疯女人” |
| [16:00] | Tyler, I had to choose between two dolls once. | 泰勒 我也曾经要在两个玩偶间选出一个 |
| [16:04] | I couldn’t decide which I wanted more, | 我不知道我更想要哪一个 |
| [16:06] | so I put both their heads on one body. | 所以我就把他们的头都拼到同一个身体上了 |
| [16:08] | You should do that. | 你也该试试看 |
| [16:15] | Amy likes scones. Wanda likes biscuits. | 艾米喜欢烤饼 旺达喜欢饼干 |
| [16:18] | Tea parties are cray. | 开茶会最合适不过了 |
| [16:24] | Everyone! I made my decision! | 大家听好啦 我做出决定了 |
| [16:28] | Also, I found a gong. | 还有 我找到了个锣 |
| [16:33] | Thank you all for your advice. | 谢谢你们给我的建议 |
| [16:35] | I’ve thought about this long and hard. | 我认真地想了很久 |
| [16:36] | And I know which girl I want to be with. | 然后 我知道我想和哪个女孩在一起了 |
| [16:38] | Oh, that’s great, Son. Who’s the lucky girl? | 噢 不错啊 儿子 哪个女孩这么幸运啊 |
| [16:41] | Well, who’s the girl you chose? | 好吧 你选了哪个女孩 |
| [16:43] | Which one is lucky might be a matter of opinion. | 我对哪个更幸运这种说法有不同看法 |
| [16:45] | It’s only fair I tell her first. | 公平起见 我要先告诉那个女孩 |
| [16:48] | As I present her this. | 还要把这个给她 |
| [16:51] | Flip the coin. | 还是扔硬币吧 |
| [16:52] | Don’t hurt her. | 别伤害她 |
| [16:54] | Two heads. | 两个头 |
| [17:05] | I choose you. | 我选了你 |
| [17:06] | What do you mean, you choose me? | 你说你选了我是什么意思 |
| [17:08] | For what? | 选我做什么 |
| [17:10] | Oh, right, you don’t even know. | 哦对 你都还不知道呢 |
| [17:11] | Nikki wants to be my girlfriend, | 妮基想当我女朋友 |
| [17:12] | so I’ve been wrestling with it, | 所以我最近纠结了好一阵 |
| [17:14] | asking everyone for advice. | 还向好多人求助了 |
| [17:15] | But I finally decided what to do. | 不过我最终还是决定了 |
| [17:18] | I choose you. | 我选了你 |
| [17:20] | You’re such a jerk. | 你真是个混蛋 |
| [17:22] | Maybe you didn’t hear me. I choose you. | 可能你没听清楚 我说我选了你 |
| [17:24] | I can’t believe you were thinking about dumping me. | 真是难以置信 你居然想过要甩了我 |
| [17:27] | But I choose you? | 可我选了你啊 |
| [17:30] | Ow. Thorns. | 啊 刺到我了 |
| [17:33] | I thought everything was going so great between us. | 我还以为我们相处得很好 |
| [17:36] | It was. And that’s why I chose you. | 本来就是啊 所以我才选了你呀 |
| [17:38] | Nikki’s just like some dream girl. | 妮基只是那种梦中女神 |
| [17:40] | I don’t know if I can even trust it. | 我都不能确定这种感觉是否可信 |
| [17:41] | But what we have is real. | 可我和你之间的感情是真的啊 |
| [17:43] | It’s safe and comfortable. | 更踏实 也更舒服 |
| [17:45] | Give me the rose back. | 再把玫瑰给我吧 |
| [17:49] | I’m not safe and comfortable! | 我不踏实 也不舒服 |
| [17:52] | Well, not when you go around | 呃 你到处往别人身上扔玫瑰的时候 |
| [17:53] | throwing roses at people like that. | 当然就不踏实不舒服啊 |
| [17:55] | Hey, if Nikki’s your dream girl, | 嘿 你说妮基是你梦中情人啊 |
| [17:58] | go for it. | 去追吧 |
| [17:59] | I care about you, Emily. | 我喜欢的是你啊 艾米莉 |
| [18:01] | I don’t want to hurt you. | 我不想伤了你的心 |
| [18:03] | I’ve seen what that can do to a woman later in life. | 我看过那样做对一个女人的后半生有多大影响 |
| [18:05] | It’s not pretty. | 真的不是什么好结局 |
| [18:06] | Dude, I’m fine. | 听着伙计 我很好 |
| [18:08] | And hey, I don’t want to be with someone | 再说了 我也不想和一个 |
| [18:09] | who doesn’t think I’m his dream girl. | 不把我当作梦中女神的家伙交往 |
| [18:11] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [18:13] | You’re being really cool about this. | 你这么做 真的很潇洒 |
| [18:14] | That’s because I’m cool. | 那是因为我本身就很潇洒啊 |
| [18:16] | And I love that in a girl. | 我就喜欢这样的女孩 |
| [18:18] | You know, if this thing with Nikki doesn’t work out… | 如果我和妮基的事进展不顺的话 |
| [18:19] | And stop talking. | 我还是不说话比较好 |
| [18:27] | What did you do? | 你做了些什么 |
| [18:29] | I decided if I’m a cat lover, I might as well embrace it. | 我决定了 既然我喜欢猫 那我就喜欢得彻底一点嘛 |
| [18:34] | I invited all the neighborhood cats over. | 我邀请了这附近所有的猫过来做客 |
| [18:37] | How’d you get ’em all here? | 你是怎么把它们弄过来的 |
| [18:39] | I can’t tell you. | 这就无可奉告啦 |
| [18:41] | Let’s just say it involved a lizard and a string. | 小小地透露一点 蜥蜴和一根绳子就足够了 |
| [18:43] | Okay, I just told you. | 好吧 我都告诉你了 |
| [18:46] | I don’t know where to start petting. | 我不知道要从哪只开始摸了 |
| [18:48] | I’ve always dreamed this would happen. | 我总是梦想着这一天的到来 |
| [18:50] | If I look outside and there’s a unicorn and a rainbow, | 如果我现在往外看还能见到独角兽和彩虹的话 |
| [18:53] | I’m gonna freak. | 我就要疯了 |
| [18:56] | But they’re driving me crazy, Chloe. | 可是他们就要把我逼疯了 克洛伊 |
| [18:58] | They’re ungrateful, entitled, | 他们既不领情 要求又高 |
| [18:59] | and think they’re better than everyone. | 还有种莫名的优越感 |
| [19:01] | It’s like being with a bunch of sorority girls. | 就像是一群姐妹会成员一样 |
| [19:04] | I like Whiskers, but I hate these cats. | 我喜欢小胡子 可我讨厌这些猫 |
| [19:08] | I’m more confused than ever, Chloe. | 我越来越迷茫了 克洛伊 |
| [19:10] | Today in school, | 今天我们在学校 |
| [19:11] | we learned that you have to judge people by who they are. | 学到要看到人们的本真一面 |
| [19:13] | Not by the color of their skin | 而不是他们的肤色 |
| [19:15] | or what country they come from. | 或者他们的来处 |
| [19:16] | Oh, so you’re saying, | 哦 那你的意思是 |
| [19:18] | I can like one cat as an individual, | 我可以喜欢一只猫 |
| [19:20] | but I don’t have to like all cats as a group. | 而没必要喜欢所有的猫咯 |
| [19:22] | No. I was just telling you what we learned in school. | 不 我只是在告诉你我今天学了什么而已 |
| [19:24] | It had nothing to do with cats. | 跟猫猫没一点关系 |
| [19:26] | We also did times tables. | 我们还画了时间表噢 |
| [19:35] | I choose you. | 我选了你 |
| [19:36] | Oh, Tyler, I am so happy. | 哦 泰勒 我好开心 |
| [19:40] | Why is my rose bent? | 可为什么我的玫瑰是弯的呀 |
| [19:42] | That’s because Emily kept throwing it at me. | 那是因为艾米莉不停地用它来扔我 |
| [19:45] | Why did Emily have my rose? | 艾米莉为什么会拿着我的玫瑰 |
| [19:48] | Funny story. | 说起来又是一个好玩的故事 |
| [19:49] | I gave it to Emily first… | 我先是给了艾米莉 |
| [19:50] | that’s not the funny part. | 还没说到好玩的地方 |
| [19:51] | She made me realize | 她让我明白 |
| [19:53] | I should go after my dream girl | 我应该去追逐我的梦中女神 |
| [19:54] | and not worry about whether I can trust it. | 而不应担心是否能相信这份爱情 |
| [19:57] | And you’re my dream girl. | 而你是我的梦中女神 |
| [19:58] | Still not funny. | 一点都不好玩 |
| [20:00] | Well, not “laughing” funny so much as | 呃 不是“好好笑”的那种好玩 |
| [20:02] | “Can you believe I told you all that” funny. | 而是“我居然全都告诉你了”的这种好玩 |
| [20:06] | You picked Emily first? | 你先选了艾米莉 |
| [20:09] | Did you hear the part about you’re my dream girl? | 你听到我说你是我梦中女神的那部分吗 |
| [20:11] | And you don’t know if you can trust it? | 还有 你说你不知道你能否相信我 |
| [20:12] | Dream girl? | 梦中女神 |
| [20:14] | You’re such a jerk. | 你真的是个混蛋 |
| [20:15] | Ow. Thorns again. | 又刺到我了 |
| [20:19] | Nikki, wait. | 妮基 等等 |
| [20:23] | I can’t believe it. | 真是难以置信 |
| [20:26] | I had two girls into me and now I have none. | 曾经有两个女孩喜欢我 可是现在我一个都追不到 |
| [20:28] | I can’t believe in two years you’re going to vote. | 真是难以置信 你是过两年就可以投票的人了 |
| [20:31] | So what do I do? | 我该怎么做啊 |
| [20:33] | Just give me your ballot and I’ll take care of it. | 把你的选票给我 我会帮你投的 |
| [20:35] | No, about Nikki. What do I do about Nikki? | 不是啦 我是说妮基 我该怎么做才能挽回她 |
| [20:38] | So Nikki’s really the one you want? | 所以说妮基真的是你想要追的那个咯 |
| [20:42] | It’s always been Nikki. | 我一直都喜欢妮基啊 |
| [20:45] | How am I going to win her back? | 我该怎么做才能挽回她 |
| [20:47] | The heart wants what it wants. | 心之所向 难以抵挡啊 |
| [20:50] | But sometimes you don’t know what the heart wants. | 可有些时候 你就是不知道哪里才是心之所向 |
| [20:53] | Wouldn’t it be great if the heart could talk? | 如果心能说话 那岂不是很好 |
| [20:55] | Then it could tell you what it wants. | 这样一来 它就能告诉你它想要什么了 |
| [20:57] | I want to go to college! | 我想上大学 |
| [20:59] | I keep telling you, you can’t leave my body. | 我跟你说过很多次了 你不能离开我的身体 |
| [21:03] | You don’t want me to be happy. | 你都不想让我开心 |
| [21:09] | Oh, Tyler, one other piece of advice | 哦 泰勒 我昨天忘了告诉你 |
| [21:11] | I forgot to give you yesterday. | 另外一条建议 |
| [21:12] | Make sure the girl that you pick never knows that | 确保那个女孩不知道你曾经 |
| [21:16] | there was ever a doubt. | 为了这种选择而困惑 |
| [21:17] | Thanks, Dad. | 谢了老爸 |
| [21:18] | And watch out for that mailbox | 你也要小心上周 |
| [21:19] | you ran over last week. | 你翻看过的邮箱啊 |
| [21:21] | I think it’s a little late to be telling me that now. | 我觉得你现在才提醒我 有点太晚了 |
| [21:23] | Exactly! | 一点也没错 |
| [21:26] | Whiskers could not have been | 小胡子这几天 |
| [21:28] | a more delightful house guest. | 真是个讨人喜欢的客人 |
| [21:29] | And the sweetest thing is | 而最温馨的一件事 |
| [21:30] | how she and Stan became best friends. | 是她和斯坦成了好朋友 |
| [21:33] | Hey, Stan. | 斯坦 |
| [21:34] | Say goodbye to Whiskers before she goes. | 和小胡子说再见吧 她就要走了 |
| [21:37] | Goodbye, dear friend. | 再见了 亲爱的朋友 |
| [21:39] | We haven’t known each other long. | 虽然我们相识不久 |
| [21:40] | But when two souls connect, then… | 可当两个灵魂连结之时 |
| [21:45] | Yeah, okay, I hate cats. | 好吧 我就是讨厌猫 |