| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | You want it, boy? You want it? You wanna get it? | 想要它吗 伙计 想要它吗 想得到它吗 |
| [00:07] | – You want the ball? – Avery, think fast! | -想要球吗 -艾芙莉 快动一下脑筋 |
| [00:12] | I said think fast. | 我说了快动一下脑筋 |
| [00:13] | Thinking has nothing to do with catching. | 动脑筋和接球没关系 |
| [00:15] | Which is what I was thinking when | 这也是球飞快地向我猛砸过来时 |
| [00:18] | the ball came hurtling at me at an outdoor speed. | 我在想的问题 |
| [00:21] | Okay, are we ready to take Stan to the vet for his check-up? | 好了 你们准备好带斯坦去兽医那儿检查身体了吗 |
| [00:24] | What?! | 什么 |
| [00:25] | You guys! Don’t use the “V” Word around him. | 你们别在他面前提那个词行么 |
| [00:28] | You’re freaking him out. | 你们吓到他了 |
| [00:29] | Come on, kids, it’s not like Stan understands what we’re saying. | 得了 孩子 斯坦又听不懂咱们的话 |
| [00:32] | You don’t speak human do you? You speak dog! Woof, woof! | 你不说人话对吧 你说狗话 汪 汪 |
| [00:36] | Please, Ellen, that’s just gibberish. | 拜托 艾伦 那简直是胡扯 |
| [00:38] | I don’t know whether there’s | 我不知道是有人在敲门 |
| [00:40] | someone at the door or you’re hungry or what. | 还是你饿了还是别的什么的 |
| [00:42] | You know, Stan understands a lot more than you think. | 你知道 斯坦明白的东西可比你想象得多 |
| [00:45] | Just like Tyler. | 就像泰勒一样 |
| [00:47] | I know you’re trying to insult me, | 我知道你在设法羞辱我 |
| [00:49] | but I’m very comfortable with how little I understand. | 但我对自己有限的知识储备不觉得有什么不适 |
| [00:53] | I know, son. We’ve all seen your test scores. | 我知道 儿子 我们都见过你的考试成绩 |
| [00:57] | Look, we’ll just trick Stan by | 听着 咱们直接告诉斯坦 |
| [00:58] | telling him that we’re going for a walk in the park. | 要去公园散步来把它骗到兽医那就好了 |
| [01:00] | Come on, Stan, let’s go to the park! | 来 斯坦 咱们去公园吧 |
| [01:03] | Yep, Vaccination Park on Needle Boulevard. | 是啊 针头大道上的疫苗公园 |
| [01:07] | Not helping! | 真是帮倒忙 |
| [01:10] | Smoothie truck! Smoothie truck! Can I get one?! | 奶昔卡车来了 奶昔卡车来了 我能买一杯吗 |
| [01:14] | Chloe, you are obsessed with those smoothies! | 克洛伊 你喝那些东西都喝上瘾了 |
| [01:17] | I’m not hurting anyone! | 我又没伤到任何人 |
| [01:21] | Sorry, it’s been two hours since my last smoothie. | 抱歉 我上一次喝奶昔是两个小时前了 |
| [01:24] | Well, they are healthy. What should we get? | 奶昔还是挺健康的 那你要买哪种口味 |
| [01:26] | Banana Blitzkrieg? A Day At The Peach? Strawberried Alive? | 香蕉闪电战 桃子上的一天 被草莓活埋 |
| [01:31] | – None of them are called that. – Well, they should be. | -没一杯奶昔叫那些名字 -它们应该取这些名字的 |
| [01:35] | No way they’re taking me to the vet! | 他们不能带我去看兽医 |
| [01:37] | No, Stan. They were just kidding around. | 不会的 斯坦 他们只是在开玩笑 |
| [01:39] | We all know that you’re | 我们都知道你 |
| [01:40] | way too smart to fall for those silly tricks. | 聪明到不可能被这些蠢伎俩骗到 |
| [01:42] | Ah, of course I am. Thank you, Avery. | 啊 那是当然 谢谢你 艾芙莉 |
| [01:45] | Truth is we’re going to the house of smelly shoes! | 事实上我们要去臭鞋之家 |
| [01:48] | Yes! How awesome is that?! | 耶 太棒了 |
| [01:51] | Why do I keep falling for this?! | 为什么我总是上这个当 |
| [01:54] | I will never forget this betrayal, Avery. | 我永远都不会忘记这次你对我的背叛 艾芙莉 |
| [01:57] | Smelly shoe? | 要臭鞋吗 |
| [01:58] | You have always been good to me. | 你一直对我这么好 |
| [02:20] | Hey, good to see you guys. | 嘿 很高兴见到你们 |
| [02:22] | Dr. Young. He’s a laugh-a-minute. | 杨医生 他可是个活宝 |
| [02:26] | Now, which one of you is the dog? | 你们哪位是要看病的狗 |
| [02:29] | I didn’t say he was funny. He just laughs every minute. | 我没说他很逗 只是他每时每刻都在笑 |
| [02:37] | Oh, that thing where you say | 噢 你说的 |
| [02:38] | which one of us is the dog, that never gets old! | 谁是那只狗这个玩笑真是永不过时 |
| [02:41] | Just like you, Dr. Young. | 就像你一样 杨（年轻）医生 |
| [02:45] | Hey, are you remembering to breathe like we talked about, Chloe? | 嘿 克洛伊 你还记得要像我们说过的那样呼吸吗 |
| [02:48] | Your face is bright red. | 你的脸通红通红的 |
| [02:50] | Ugh. There’s a banana wad stuck in the straw. | 啊 一小块香蕉卡在吸管里了 |
| [02:53] | Why you gotta do me like that, bananas? | 小香蕉 你为什么要这么对我 |
| [02:57] | So, let’s start the examination. | 那咱们开始检查吧 |
| [03:00] | Open up. | 张嘴 |
| [03:02] | Tyler, he means you! | 泰勒 他在说你 |
| [03:06] | I’m not the dog. | 我不是来看病的狗 |
| [03:08] | Do you know your dog can talk?! | 你知道你们家狗能说话吗 |
| [03:12] | Ha, ha, ha, that’s hilarious. | 哈哈哈 真好笑 |
| [03:13] | – It’s a joke. – Who told you?! | -这玩笑开的真好 -谁告诉你的 |
| [03:17] | Okay, now it’s really time to start the examination. | 好了 现在真的该检查了 |
| [03:19] | Let’s get down to the boring part. | 咱们来进行最无聊的部分吧 |
| [03:21] | Ah, don’t sell yourself short. I’ve been bored since I got here. | 啊 别小看你的威力 自从到这儿来我就开始无聊了 |
| [03:26] | Oh, by the way, Dr. Young, I brought you a… | 噢 顺便说一句 杨医生 我给您带来了个 |
| [03:29] | “Stool sample”. | “凳子样品” |
| [03:33] | We all had to jam in the car so she could do that joke. | 我们都得挤在车里好让她开这个玩笑 |
| [03:38] | Time for your booster shot. | 该给你做后续疫苗注射了 |
| [03:41] | This won’t hurt at all… won’t hurt me! | 一点也不疼 不会弄疼我 |
| [03:45] | He’s so funny! It’s like a comedy club in here! | 他太逗了 这儿就跟喜剧俱乐部一样 |
| [03:47] | Not really laugh-out-loud funny. | 真没那么好笑 |
| [03:49] | You just don’t appreciate comedy like I do. | 你只是不像我一样欣赏喜剧 |
| [03:51] | You’re jealous of the comedian rapport we have. | 你在嫉妒我们谐星之间的和睦 |
| [03:54] | What was that? | 什么声音 |
| [03:55] | – That was me. – My bad. | -是我 -是我的错 |
| [03:56] | I belched. | 我打嗝了 |
| [03:59] | We’re all very close to Stan. | 我们和斯坦都很亲密 |
| [04:01] | – We have a very deep connection. – I belch like a sea lion. | -我们之间的感情很深 -我这嗝打得跟海狮一样 |
| [04:07] | Stan looks great for his age. | 斯坦对于它这个年龄来说很健康 |
| [04:08] | He’s got at least another 63 years left in him. | 它至少还能活63岁 |
| [04:11] | You know, that makes sense. I eat right, I exercise. | 你懂的 这很正常 我吃的健康 我锻炼身体 |
| [04:14] | Of course, that’s only nine human years. | 当然了 那只等于人类的九年 |
| [04:16] | What?! Why did I waste so much time eating right and exercising?! | 什么 为什么我要花那么多时间吃的健康 锻炼身体 |
| [04:21] | Only nine more years? | 我只能再活九年 |
| [04:24] | I had no idea. | 我根本不知道 |
| [04:25] | I have so little time left and what have I accomplished? | 我只剩那么点时间了 而我之前根本没做什么大事 |
| [04:28] | Look at this dog. | 看看这只狗 |
| [04:31] | He’s done so much with his life. | 他在生命中完成了这么多成就 |
| [04:36] | Nine years, Avery. Nine years. | 我只剩九年了 艾芙莉 九年 |
| [04:40] | I’m really sorry, Stan. | 我真的很抱歉 斯坦 |
| [04:41] | I mean, I understand why it upsets you. | 我是说 我理解这件事为什么让你这么伤心 |
| [04:43] | But do you really want to spend those nine years | 但你真的要用剩下的九年的时间 |
| [04:45] | worrying about how little time you have left? | 担心你只剩这么点时间可活吗 |
| [04:47] | No. I’d like to spend 200 | 不 我想花二百年时间 |
| [04:49] | years worrying about how little time I have left. | 担心我只剩这么点时间可活 |
| [04:52] | You have a great life. You’re worrying about this too much. | 你过着幸福的生活 你过分担忧了 |
| [04:55] | – Am I, Avery? Am I? – Yes. | -是吗 艾芙莉 是吗 -没错 |
| [04:58] | Oh, I thought you might change | 噢 我还以为你会改变想法 |
| [05:00] | your position because I seemed so emphatic. | 因为我用了这么强烈的强调语气 |
| [05:02] | Did you, Stan? Did you? | 是吗 斯坦 是吗 |
| [05:05] | Now that’s how you do emphatic. | 这才叫强调 |
| [05:07] | That was good! | 你真的很厉害 |
| [05:09] | See, you’re gonna do great things you’ll be remembered for. | 看 你将会做出足以让人铭记的伟大事迹 |
| [05:12] | – But what about me? – Are you talking about leaving a legacy? | -可我呢 -你是说你要留些遗产吗 |
| [05:15] | Yes, I want to achieve something that’ll live after me. But what? | 没错 我想做一些能遗留千古的事 可我该怎么做呢 |
| [05:21] | Well, this stain on the | 反正地毯上 |
| [05:23] | carpet sure looks like it’ll be here forever. | 那块污渍估计是永远也下不来了 |
| [05:27] | And don’t think I’m not proud of that. | 你也别以为我不为此骄傲 |
| [05:31] | But somehow, it’s just not enough. | 但不知怎么搞的 这还是不够 |
| [05:33] | Why don’t you take up painting like I have, Stan? | 你为什么不跟我一样开始画画呢 斯坦 |
| [05:36] | A lot of famous painters are remembered for their art. | 很多著名画家都因他们的作品而名垂青史 |
| [05:39] | Avery, I could paint my whole | 艾芙莉 我可以花一辈子画画 |
| [05:41] | life and never top what I did on your carpet. | 但那些都比不过我在你地毯上留下的东西 |
| [05:43] | Why don’t other dogs worry about how much time they have? | 为什么别的狗就不担心还剩多久可活 |
| [05:46] | They’re not like you. | 它们不像你 |
| [05:48] | You’re the only talking dog. | 你是唯一一只会说话的狗 |
| [05:50] | Wait, that’s it! That’s my legacy! | 等等 就是它 这就是我的遗产 |
| [05:53] | Okay, everyone’s asleep. | 好 大家都睡了 |
| [05:56] | Time to record my legacy for future generations. | 是时候给我的后代录我的遗产了 |
| [06:02] | Ah… oh, hello, world. I didn’t see you there. | 噢 世界 你好啊 我没看到你在那里 |
| [06:06] | I’m Stan. | 我是斯坦 |
| [06:08] | The first ever talking dog. | 史上第一只会说话的狗 |
| [06:15] | Okay, if everyone is done freaking out over the fact | 好了 如果大家因为我是世界上第一只 |
| [06:18] | that I am the world’s first talking dog… | 会说话的狗而受惊的劲儿已经缓过去了 |
| [06:21] | My porpoise in doing this… | 我做这件事的海豚 |
| [06:23] | Wait, did I… did I just say “Porpoise”? | 等等 我 我刚刚是说“海豚”了吗 |
| [06:26] | I can’t believe I said that. | 我简直不敢相信我说了这个词 |
| [06:30] | Porpoise? | 海豚 |
| [06:37] | Porpoise. That’s silly. | 海豚 这词太蠢了 |
| [06:40] | My philosophy of life can be summed up with these words… | 我的人生哲学可以用这几句话来概括 |
| [06:45] | As I was saying, my philosophy of life… | 正如我前面说的 我的人生哲学 |
| [06:51] | Excuse me while I go put the ow in meow. | 请原谅 我要先去让那只猫好好尖叫一下 |
| [06:58] | – Bennett, am I crazy… – Yes. | -班尼特 是我疯了吗 -是啊 |
| [07:02] | You didn’t let me finish. | 我还没说完呢 |
| [07:04] | Am I crazy for thinking it would be a good idea if I got a job? | 我觉得找份工作会是个好主意算疯了吗 |
| [07:07] | No, of course not. I think that would be wonderful. | 不 当然是好主意 我觉得你的想法很棒 |
| [07:10] | Great, because our Vet, Dr. Young, is looking for an assistant. | 太好了 因为咱们的兽医 杨医生 在找助手 |
| [07:13] | Oh, then I’m back to “You’re crazy”. | 噢 那我还是觉得你疯了 |
| [07:16] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [07:18] | Honey, you are terrible with animals. | 亲爱的 你根本不会和动物打交道 |
| [07:21] | What?! My text tone is a duck. | 什么 我的短信铃声都是鸭子叫 |
| [07:27] | Honey, I did not say you’re terrible with animal sounds. | 亲爱的 我没说你不会和动物的叫声打交道 |
| [07:30] | I said you’re terrible with animals. | 我是说你根本不会和动物打交道 |
| [07:33] | Remember what happened when you got a bird? | 还记得你养鸟的经历吗 |
| [07:36] | Come here, Lucy. Come to Mommy. | 过来啊 露西 来妈妈这儿 |
| [07:39] | Protect your eyes! | 护住眼睛 |
| [07:44] | Isn’t she the cutest, sweetest thing? | 不觉得她太可爱了吗 |
| [07:48] | Oh, she had a little accident on my head again. | 噢 她又在我头上拉便便了 |
| [07:51] | Nope, false alarm. Just blood. | 不对 弄错了 只是我的血 |
| [07:54] | It’s funny, she thinks I’m a field mouse. | 真有趣 她把我当田鼠了 |
| [07:58] | The doctor deals with the animals. | 医生才跟动物打交道 |
| [08:00] | I’ll be dealing with the people that come in. | 我负责和人打交道 |
| [08:02] | I’m good with people, right? | 我很擅长跟人打交道 对吧 |
| [08:05] | Let’s assume for a second that you are. | 就假设你擅长吧 |
| [08:07] | Honey, why do you even want this job? | 亲爱的 你为什么想要这份工作啊 |
| [08:09] | Oh, it’s a fun place to work. | 噢 在那儿工作很有意思 |
| [08:11] | We’d laugh all day. It’d be a hoot… | 我们会从早笑到晚 肯定很有趣 |
| [08:14] | Especially if an owl got sick. | 有猫头鹰病了就更有趣了 |
| [08:16] | Ha! Good one, Ellen. | 哈 这笑话不错 艾伦 |
| [08:18] | Are you getting a job as his assistant or as his opening act? | 你是要去做他的助手还是给他做开场表演 |
| [08:21] | His assistant. I’m not good enough to be his opening act. | 他助手啊 我还没厉害到那个份上 |
| [08:25] | Am I? | 我够厉害吗 |
| [08:28] | Let’s assume for a second that you are. | 咱们就假设你很厉害吧 |
| [08:31] | You having a job surrounded by animals is just a bad idea. | 你要找一份被动物包围的工作 真不是个好主意 |
| [08:34] | You are gonna quit before the first day is even done. | 你肯定还没干完第一天就辞职了 |
| [08:37] | And then I’m gonna be put in the awkward position | 然后我就要开始尴尬地想 |
| [08:39] | of having to decide whether I say “I told you so”. | 我是当面告诉你“我就说嘛” |
| [08:42] | Or do I just text you “ITYS”? | 还是直接给你发短信说WJSM |
| [08:44] | Is that even a thing? Should I start it? | 有人这么发过吗 我要不要起个头 |
| [08:48] | You are going to feel so stupid | 等这份工作进行顺利后 |
| [08:50] | when this job works out, and I get to text you… | 你就会觉得自己很愚蠢 然后我就能给你发短信说 |
| [08:53] | “NKMGWZMSG” “YDGTTMS”… | |
| [08:55] | “You didn’t get to tell me so”. | “你可没跟我这么说过”的意思 |
| [08:57] | Maybe I’ll start that! | 也许我可以起那个头 |
| [09:00] | Yeah, that’ll catch on. | 好像这句话能流行似的 |
| [09:10] | Good morning, Stan. | 早上好 斯坦 |
| [09:12] | Good morning? No. Great morning! I feel alive! | 早上好 不 早上太好了 我觉得好有活力 |
| [09:16] | Everything smells better, looks better, tastes better! | 一切闻起来 看起来 尝起来都更好了 |
| [09:19] | Have you been outside? All the colors are so vivid! | 你出门了吗 所有颜色都如此鲜艳 |
| [09:22] | – Stan, dogs are color blind. – I know. | -斯坦 狗是色盲 -我知道 |
| [09:25] | The grass is so gray, the sun is so white, | 草真灰 太阳真白 |
| [09:28] | and the bluebirds are so black! | 而蓝鸟可真黑 |
| [09:31] | What is going on? | 出什么事了 |
| [09:33] | I haven’t seen you this up | 自从上次你在沙发底下 |
| [09:34] | since that time you pooped under the couch. | 拉便便以后我就没见你这么兴奋过 |
| [09:35] | That was an amazing accomplishment. One of my best tricks. | 那是一次惊人的成就 我最棒的把戏之一 |
| [09:40] | How’d you do that, anyway? | 你到底是怎么做到的 |
| [09:41] | Can’t say. If I told you, I’d spoil the mystery. | 不告诉你 如果我说了 神秘感就没了 |
| [09:44] | You moved the couch, went, then moved the couch back? | 你是把沙发移开 拉 然后又把它移回去了吗 |
| [09:47] | – Nope. – Did it involve a tube of some kind? | -没有 -用到管子什么的了吗 |
| [09:51] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [09:52] | It was always there, wasn’t it? | 它一直都在那儿 对吧 |
| [09:56] | – You’re not gonna get it. – So why are you so happy? | -你不会懂的 -那你为什么这么高兴 |
| [09:59] | Oh, no reason. Only that my legacy is fully assured. That’s all. | 噢 没理由 只是我确定我要留的遗产了 就是这样 |
| [10:03] | I made a little video last night where I told the world about me! | 我昨晚做了个向全世界介绍自己的小视频 |
| [10:08] | – Wait, what?! – But you can’t do that. | -等等 什么 -你不能这样做啊 |
| [10:10] | I know nobody can see it while I’m still alive, | 我知道在我还在世时还不能让人看到 |
| [10:12] | or I’ll be taken away and experimented on. | 否则我就会被带走做实验 |
| [10:14] | But when I’m gone, the recording can be released | 但等我升天了 视频就能放出来了 |
| [10:18] | and my fame will live on long after me. | 我的名字也会永垂不朽 |
| [10:21] | Since the dawn of time, humanity has faced many troubles… | 开天辟地以来 人类经历了很多麻烦 |
| [10:25] | Accomplished remarkable feats… | 完成了惊人的丰功伟绩 |
| [10:27] | And amassed a huge library of stock footage… | 还储存了规模庞大的底片资料 |
| [10:32] | But nothing in all of human history has prepared it for this… | 但人类历史上还从没出现过这个 |
| [10:38] | Ah… oh, hello, world. I didn’t see you there. | 噢 你好啊 世界 我没看到你在那里 |
| [10:41] | I’m Stan. | 我是斯坦 |
| [10:43] | Oh, yeah! | 噢耶 |
| [10:46] | Stan, what did you do? What if that video gets out? | 斯坦 你都干了什么啊 万一那个视频流出去了怎么办 |
| [10:49] | You can’t just leave a recording like that lying around. | 你不能直接把一段录像随意扔在旁边 |
| [10:52] | I didn’t just leave it lying around. | 我没把它随意扔在旁边 |
| [10:54] | I left it in the camera in the family room on the tripod. | 我把它留在客厅里三脚架上的摄像机里了 |
| [10:57] | Oh, boy. | 噢 老天啊 |
| [11:01] | Oh, good, it’s still here. | 噢 太好了 还在这儿 |
| [11:03] | We have to delete the memory card before mom and dad find it. | 咱们必须在爸妈发现前把储存卡里的内容删掉 |
| [11:06] | Good idea. You don’t want mom and dad to find out what you did. | 好主意 你不想让爸妈发现你干了什么 |
| [11:11] | Okay! | 好 |
| [11:13] | Great work, everyone! | 大家干得真不错 |
| [11:15] | If this had been a real cover up and not a drill, | 如果我真的在掩盖罪行而不是在演戏 |
| [11:17] | we would’ve been caught, | 我们就会被逮住的 |
| [11:18] | so we’re gonna have to shave about ten seconds off our time. | 所以我们得从录像带里截掉大概十秒钟 |
| [11:21] | But thank you, dad, for helping out. | 但谢了 爸 谢谢你帮忙 |
| [11:23] | Hey, dad, everyone! Let’s give him a hand! | 嘿 这就是咱老爸 一起来给他鼓鼓掌 |
| [11:26] | – Give it up for dad! – All right! | -给老爸鼓掌 -好样的 |
| [11:28] | What did you do? | 你们干什么了 |
| [11:30] | What could we have done? | 我们还能干什么 |
| [11:31] | When have we ever done anything bad with the camera? | 我们什么时候用摄像机干过坏事 |
| [11:35] | Milk carton. Kitchen table. Glue. | 牛奶盒 餐桌 胶水 |
| [11:58] | Listen, your mom is out applying for a job. | 听着 你们老妈去求职了 |
| [12:01] | – She… what? – Don’t ask. | -她 干什么去了 -别问了 |
| [12:03] | And I’ve got a patient waiting. When mom gets back… | 还有个病人在等我 等你们老妈回来 |
| [12:06] | We are gonna find out exactly | 我们就要好好查清 |
| [12:08] | what is on this tape and exactly what you have done. | 这盘录像带里有什么 查清你们干了什么 |
| [12:11] | Did you hear that? He said “Tape”. | 你听见了吗 他说“录像带” |
| [12:14] | What is this, 2005? | 他以为这是什么年代 2005年吗 |
| [12:17] | Stan’s secret is in jeopardy | 斯坦的秘密都要保不住了 |
| [12:19] | and that’s what you’re thinking about? | 你现在还有工夫想这个 |
| [12:21] | Thank you, Avery. | 谢谢你 艾芙莉 |
| [12:22] | But “Tape”? | 可“录像带”这个词 |
| [12:24] | Where does he get his news from? A newspaper? | 他都是在哪儿看新闻的 报纸吗 |
| [12:29] | I know, right? | 就是嘛 |
| [12:34] | Oh, that’s good. | 学得真像 |
| [12:40] | So, Ellen. Have a seat. | 艾伦 坐下吧 |
| [12:44] | Oh, wish I had my stool sample. | 噢 真希望我带了我的凳子样品 |
| [12:49] | So, I see your last job was at Tower Records, | 那么 我看到你的上一份工作是在淘儿唱片 |
| [12:53] | and then there seems to be a bit of a gap here. | 然后就是空白了 |
| [12:57] | Well, I was room parent for three years running | 这个 我三年来都在做家庭主妇 |
| [12:59] | and team snack mom until the fermenting incident. | 还给球队做零食 直到一次发酵事件 |
| [13:04] | But I think this job will be a great fit, | 但我觉得这份工作很适合我 |
| [13:07] | because I really love animal… puns. | 因为我真的很喜欢动物 下面是双关语哦 |
| [13:10] | So it would be purr-fect fur me to work here with ewe. | 能和母羊一起工作对皮毛来说会很喵美的 |
| [13:14] | Ooh, that’s a double! | 你说了两个双关语哎 |
| [13:16] | Actually, I was spelling “You” E-w-e; The female sheep. Triple! | 事实上 我把“您”这个字换成了母羊 所以是三个 |
| [13:22] | You’re hired, kid! | 你被录用了 小羊 |
| [13:25] | Goat joke! | 羊的玩笑 |
| [13:27] | If you’re available, you can start right now. | 如果你有空 现在就可以开始工作 |
| [13:29] | You’ve had your shots, right? | 你打过预防针吧 |
| [13:31] | No, I’m serious. A lot of these animals have diseases. | 不 我没开玩笑 来这儿的动物很多都有病 |
| [13:35] | This won’t hurt… | 不会疼的 |
| [13:37] | Me! | 不会弄疼我 |
| [13:39] | That’s not funny anymore. | 这笑话不好玩了 |
| [13:42] | He’s trying to pull my nose into his shell! | 它想把我的鼻子扯进它的壳里 |
| [13:46] | He’s not even a snapping turtle. | 这种乌龟一般不攻击人的 |
| [13:49] | He must really hate you. | 它肯定是非常讨厌你 |
| [13:52] | There’s a ferret up my pant leg! | 有一只雪貂在顺着我裤腿爬 |
| [13:54] | She’s just looking for someplace warm to have her babies. | 它只是在找个暖和的地方生孩子 |
| [13:59] | I’ve never seen such a large pool of sick. | 我从来没见过这么一大堆呕吐物 |
| [14:02] | I’m sorry, doctor, that’s what happens when I get scared. | 很抱歉 医生 我害怕时就这样 |
| [14:07] | Well, that’s it. My letter of resignation. | 就这样吧 这是我的辞职书 |
| [14:10] | I hope you’re happy, Jerry. | 希望你高兴了 杰瑞 |
| [14:12] | You and all your filthy, terrifying animal friends | 你和你所有肮脏 可怕的动物朋友 |
| [14:15] | have driven me away from my calling of working with animals. | 把我想和动物工作的欲望彻底抹杀了 |
| [14:19] | Hey, pretty lady. | 嘿 美女 |
| [14:20] | Just brought you some lunch on your first day of work. | 第一天上班 我给你买了午餐 |
| [14:23] | Or am I taking you home now? | 还是我现在就把你带回家 |
| [14:25] | I’ve got “ITYS” All locked and loaded. Just have to hit send. | 我手机里可存满了“我就说嘛”的短信 就等点发送键了 |
| [14:29] | No, not taking me anywhere, not hitting send. | 不 你不用带我去任何地方 不用点发送键 |
| [14:33] | Just hanging here with my new best friend, | 我只是正在这儿和我最好的新朋友 |
| [14:36] | Jerry, as he digests his lunch. | 杰瑞一起玩 它正消化它的午餐呢 |
| [14:38] | Oh, is that a mouse in its throat? | 噢 它喉咙里是一只老鼠吗 |
| [14:40] | No, it’s my cell phone. | 不 只是我的手机 |
| [14:43] | So any texts you send to me will go to Jerry. | 所以你给我发的任何短信都会发给杰瑞 |
| [14:47] | Well, I’m glad you’re having fun. | 很高兴看到你在享受这份工作 |
| [14:49] | I guess I was wrong. | 看来我真的错了 |
| [14:51] | Yes, you were. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do. | 你就是错了 你要不介意的话 我还有工作要做呢 |
| [14:54] | So thank you for the lunch, but we’re very busy today. | 谢谢你的午餐 但我们今天很忙 |
| [14:57] | – Okay, see you at home. – Okay. | -好 回家见 -好 |
| [15:03] | Well, Jerry, it looks like I’m stuck here for awhile. | 杰瑞 看起来我要被困在这里一段时间了 |
| [15:11] | Jerry? | 杰瑞 |
| [15:14] | Jerry? | 杰瑞 |
| [15:26] | Is that the phone ringing? | 是有手机在响吗 |
| [15:28] | It’s coming from inside the snake! | 是从蛇身体里发出的声音 |
| [15:39] | All right, if we want to protect Stan’s secret, | 好了 如果咱们要守住斯坦的秘密 |
| [15:42] | we have to get that camera | 就必须在老爸看到 |
| [15:43] | back from dad before he sees that Stan can talk. | 斯坦能说话的视频前拿回摄像机 |
| [15:46] | I’m sorry, guys, it’s my fault. | 抱歉 伙计们 是我的错 |
| [15:48] | I wanted so bad to leave a legacy. | 我太想留下遗产了 |
| [15:50] | It’s okay, Stan. We just need some clever ideas. Let’s hear them. | 没事的斯坦 我们只需要一些聪明办法 开始头脑风暴吧 |
| [15:54] | We could release a honey badger in his office. | 咱们可以在他办公室里放只蜜獾 |
| [15:56] | He’d forget all about us. | 他就会把咱们彻底忘到脑后了 |
| [15:57] | Nobody messes with a honey badger. | 没人敢和蜜獾较量 |
| [16:01] | Where would we get a honey badger? | 咱们要从哪儿弄只蜜獾啊 |
| [16:03] | “Bed, Badger, and Beyond”. | “床 獾 和无穷宇宙” |
| [16:03] | （注：bedbadger指“爱赖床的人”， Bed, Bath & Beyond是美国一家家具用品连锁店） | |
| [16:05] | That’s not a store. | 那可不是家商店 |
| [16:06] | Then who keeps sending me the 20% off coupons? | 那是谁老给我发能打八折的优惠劵啊 |
| [16:10] | Okay, any other ideas? | 好吧 还有别的主意吗 |
| [16:12] | Maybe something, I don’t know, possible? | 能来点 怎么说呢 可行的办法吗 |
| [16:15] | It’s too bad we just can’t walk in there and take the camera | 真遗憾咱们不能在爸爸去妈妈单位看她时 |
| [16:17] | while Daddy’s visiting Mommy at her new job. | 直接走进他房间拿摄像机 |
| [16:19] | Wait, dad’s not here? | 等等 老爸不在家 |
| [16:22] | We could just walk in there and take the camera? | 咱们可以直接走进他房间拿摄像机 |
| [16:24] | Why didn’t you tell us? | 你怎么不早说 |
| [16:25] | You said we needed a clever plan. | 你说我们需要聪明的办法 |
| [16:27] | Walking in there’s not clever. It’s barely a plan. | 直接走进去可不算 连个办法都不算 |
| [16:39] | I didn’t know goldfish could bite someone. | 我都不知道金鱼还能咬人 |
| [16:42] | They can’t. They don’t have teeth. | 它们咬不了 它们没牙 |
| [16:43] | I don’t know how this happened. | 我也不知道这是怎么回事 |
| [16:46] | Well, this has been a challenging day, | 今天可真是充满挑战的一天 |
| [16:48] | but I’m sure the worst is behind me. | 但我确信最坏的已经过去了 |
| [16:50] | How could it not be? | 当然 |
| [16:52] | Oh, our next client is on the way in. | 噢 咱们的下一位顾客来了 |
| [16:55] | One of our clients found this lovely parrot in the park. | 咱们的一位顾客在公园里发现了一只可爱的鹦鹉 |
| [17:01] | – Ellen can’t cook! – Lucy. | -艾伦厨艺烂 -露西 |
| [17:05] | Lucy. | 露西 |
| [17:06] | Not again! | 不会又来了吧 |
| [17:08] | Again! Again! | 又来了 又来了 |
| [17:15] | Are you okay? | 你没事吧 |
| [17:16] | No, I am not okay. | 不 我有事 |
| [17:18] | Whenever it comes to me and animals, | 每次我和动物在一起 |
| [17:20] | things just go horribly wrong. | 事情就会变得非常糟 |
| [17:21] | Like that parrot who’s just waiting up there for me to come out, | 比如那只就等着我出来 |
| [17:24] | so she can gouge out my eyes or rip out my throat, | 好把我眼睛挖出来或着把我喉咙扯出来 |
| [17:27] | or say hurtful things about me! | 或者说伤人话的鹦鹉 |
| [17:30] | But I can’t quit because my husband will say “I told you so”. | 但我不能辞职 要不我丈夫就会说“我就说嘛” |
| [17:34] | Would you like me to fire you? | 你想让我把你开除吗 |
| [17:36] | Would you? That would be amazing! | 你会吗 那就太棒了 |
| [17:38] | It would be my pleasure. | 我很荣幸这样做 |
| [17:40] | What do I have to do? Yell at a client? Steal something? | 那我该怎么做呢 冲顾客大吼 偷东西 |
| [17:43] | No, what you have done already is just fine. | 不必 你刚才做的就足够了 |
| [17:45] | This is called “Gross incompetence”. | 这叫“非常无能” |
| [17:49] | “Gross incompetence”… I like the sound of that. | “非常无能” 我喜欢这词 |
| [17:52] | Gross incompetence. | 非常无能 |
| [17:59] | All right, we got it, now let’s delete it. | 好了 咱们拿到了 现在我就把它删了 |
| [18:02] | Are you kidding? | 你开玩笑呢吧 |
| [18:03] | If we delete it, dad’ll see that | 如果咱们删了 老爸会发现 |
| [18:04] | there’s nothing on it and figure out we deleted it. | 里面什么都没有 然后想到肯定是我们删的 |
| [18:07] | We have to give them something. | 咱们必须得让他们看到点什么 |
| [18:08] | I get it. We have to replace Stan’s recording | 我懂了 咱们必须用另一段 |
| [18:11] | with another recording that we’d want to hide from mom and dad. | 想瞒住爸妈的录像来代替斯坦的 |
| [18:14] | How are you ahead of me on this? | 你怎么比我先想到这个的 |
| [18:17] | I don’t listen in class and I never do homework. | 我上课不听讲也不写作业 |
| [18:19] | That leaves my brain free for plans, schemes, | 这样就让我的大脑有足够的空间装计划 阴谋 |
| [18:22] | and things so crazy they just might work. | 还有那些疯狂到也许有点用的事情 |
| [18:24] | Okay, so what do we record to replace Stan? | 那咱们该录什么来代替斯坦的录像呢 |
| [18:27] | Something bad enough that when they see it, | 一些糟到能让他们看到后 |
| [18:29] | they say, “What is wrong with you?” | 说 “你们到底出什么毛病了”的录像 |
| [18:31] | But not so bad that they try to fix you. | 但也别糟到让他们想收拾你 |
| [18:33] | The worst is when dad lets you know it’s okay to cry… | 最坏的情况就是老爸自己哭着告诉你 |
| [18:36] | By crying. | 哭是没关系的 |
| [18:38] | No, the worst is when dad | 不 最糟的情况是老爸 |
| [18:39] | sneaks into my room to analyze my art wall. | 偷溜进我的房间研究我的艺术墙 |
| [18:42] | Sometimes I paint headless clowns just to mess with him. | 有时我为了和他捣乱就画些没头的小丑 |
| [18:46] | Those are the nights I can’t sleep in your room. | 这正是我在你屋里睡不着觉的原因 |
| [18:50] | Chloe, where were you? | 克洛伊 你刚才去哪了 |
| [18:52] | Getting my smoothie from the fridge. | 去从冰箱里拿我的奶昔喝了 |
| [18:54] | I figured two people and a | 我在想 两个人和一只 |
| [18:55] | talking dog could pick up a camera in an empty room. | 会说话的狗足以在一间空屋子里录像了 |
| [18:58] | Did you need a little girl? | 你们还需要一个小女孩吗 |
| [19:04] | Ah. I’m home. | 啊 我回来了 |
| [19:07] | Oh, you’re home early. | 噢 你回来早了 |
| [19:09] | And send. | 发送 |
| [19:11] | The joke’s on you. I told you I don’t have my phone. | 看来这笑话你只能自己留着了 我说过我电话没了 |
| [19:17] | Jerry?! Did you eat a duck?! | 杰瑞 你是吃了只鸭子吗 |
| [19:22] | And you don’t get to say “I told you so” Because I didn’t quit. | 你也不用发“我就说嘛” 因为我没辞职 |
| [19:25] | I was fired. Gross incompetence. | 我被开除了 因为非常无能 |
| [19:29] | Ha! Who feels stupid now? | 哈 现在谁觉得自己笨了 |
| [19:35] | All right, let’s find out what you kids have been hiding. | 好了 咱们来看看你们这些孩子到底在藏什么吧 |
| [19:41] | Avery, I know that mom and dad | 艾芙莉 我知道爸妈 |
| [19:43] | would not approve of us playing kitchen tennis. | 不会同意咱们在厨房打网球的 |
| [19:47] | Whoa! What?! Chloe, why are you | 喔 怎么回事 克洛伊 你为什么 |
| [19:49] | recording us doing that which we are forbidden to do? | 要在我们做禁止干的事情的时候录像 |
| [19:53] | Notice that she said “Recording,” Not “Taping”. | 听见她说“录像” 而不是“录制”了吗 |
| [19:56] | You see, taping is something people used to do before 2005 | 您知道 录制这个词是2005年之前人们用的 |
| [19:59] | when there was actually tape in the cameras. | 那时候相机里真的有录像带 |
| [20:03] | Hey, Tyler, watch out for that vase of flowers over there! | 嘿 泰勒 看着点那边的花瓶 |
| [20:07] | We’d get in a lot of trouble if we hit that with the ball! | 如果咱们用球砸到那个就惨了 |
| [20:12] | Oh, man, I missed! | 诶哟 我打偏了 |
| [20:14] | Stan! | 斯坦 |
| [20:15] | Hey, I know that wasn’t part of the plan, | 嘿 我知道这不是计划的一部分 |
| [20:17] | but I see a ball, I’m going for it. | 可我看到球 就想上去接 |
| [20:19] | Oh, my gosh, is that how I run? | 老天爷 我跑步就是这个样子 |
| [20:24] | Stan! | 斯坦 |
| [20:25] | Oh, no! Not the table! | 噢不 别上桌子啊 |
| [20:30] | Oh, watch out! | 噢 小心 |
| [20:36] | Huh. That’ll work, too, I guess. | 哈 我猜这样也能行 |
| [20:48] | That’s it. No TV for a week. | 够了 一周不许看电视 |
| [20:51] | – What?! – No! | -什么 -不 |
| [20:52] | Is it because of my poor camera work? | 是因为我糟糕的录像技术吗 |
| [20:54] | Avery, I do not know what is going on with you, | 艾芙莉 我不知道你到底怎么了 |
| [20:57] | but I’ am going to look very carefully at your art wall tonight. | 但我今晚要好好研究研究你的艺术墙 |
| [21:04] | So, what do you think the kids really did | 你觉得孩子们到底干了什么 |
| [21:06] | that they’re trying to cover up with that ridiculous video? | 以至于居然想用这个荒唐的视频顶替 |
| [21:08] | Probably something a whole lot worse, | 大概是一些更糟的事吧 |
| [21:10] | but I don’t want to know about it, I’ve had the worst day. | 但我不想知道了 我今天的经历已经够糟了 |
| [21:13] | I have been bitten, scratched, mauled, and puked on. | 我被咬了 抓了 伤害了 还被吐了一身 |
| [21:16] | And only one of those was self-inflicted. | 而且这些事中只有一件是我自己造成的 |
| [21:23] | I’m really sorry guys, if I hadn’t made that video none of this | 我真的很抱歉伙计们 如果我没拍那个视频 |
| [21:25] | would have been necessary and you wouldn’t be paying for it. | 这些事就都不必做 你们也不用为此付出代价了 |
| [21:28] | It’s okay, Stan. Anything is worth keeping your secret safe. | 没事的 斯坦 只要能保守你的秘密 我们做什么都值 |
| [21:32] | Yeah, you being here makes up for any punishment. | 是啊 只要你能在这里 任何惩罚都无所谓 |
| [21:35] | Being with you guys is all that matters to me, too. | 和你们在一起对我来说也很重要 |
| [21:38] | You know what? That’s my legacy. | 你们知道吗 这就是我的遗产 |
| [21:41] | You live on in the hearts | 你会永远活在 |
| [21:43] | of those whose lives you touch, don’t you? | 关心你的人的心里 对吧 |
| [21:46] | – Well, until they die. – Tyler! | -直到他们逝去 -泰勒 |
| [21:49] | Not helping. | 别帮倒忙 |
| [21:51] | Besides, Stan, no one knows how long talking dogs live. | 再说了 斯坦 谁都不知道会说话的狗能活多久 |
| [21:55] | Maybe you’ll live way longer than regular dogs. | 也许你会比普通狗活的长得多 |
| [21:57] | – Or maybe way shorter. – Tyler! | -或更短 -泰勒 |
| [22:00] | It’s true I don’t know how long I have, | 我真的不知道我还能活多久 |
| [22:03] | but however long it is, my legacy is the people I love. | 但不管是多久 我的遗产就是我爱的人们 |
| [22:08] | Now I’m gonna go onto the Bed, Badgers, and Beyond site | 现在我要上“床 獾和无穷宇宙”的网站 |
| [22:10] | and print a return label. | 打印一个退货标签 |
| [22:12] | That’s the problem with these discount coupons. | 这就是这些打折优惠劵的麻烦 |
| [22:14] | You end up buying badgers you don’t really need. | 你会买到其实不需要的獾 |
| [22:18] | Where’d they go? | 它们去哪了 |
| [22:22] | Oh, boy. | 噢 老天 |
| [22:24] | There’s badgers in my robe! | 我睡袍里有只獾 |
| [22:30] | Whoa! Cool! | 哇 太酷了 |
| [22:33] | I did live way longer than regular dogs! | 我真的比普通狗活的长得多 |
| [22:36] | I even outlived Planet Earth! | 我甚至比地球活的还久 |
| [22:38] | Oh, no! | 噢 不 |
| [22:40] | I’m being sucked into a black hole! | 我正在被吸进一个黑洞里 |
| [22:44] | Okay, that makes a lot more sense. | 这就讲得通了 |