| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:32] | Guys! Wait! | 各位 等等 |
| [00:35] | We’re not allowed to be up here. | 我们不能上这来 |
| [00:36] | Mom and Dad said it’s dangerous. | 爸爸妈妈说很危险 |
| [00:38] | “Blah, blah, blah. Mom and Dad said, Mom and Dad said!” | “哒哒哒哒 爸爸妈妈说 爸爸妈妈说” |
| [00:45] | Wow, I wonder what the king is doing right now! | 不知道国王现在在干什么 |
| [00:48] | Probably being all wise and good | 多半在一边智慧治国 |
| [00:49] | while he does, like, a million push-ups. | 一边做一百万个俯卧撑 |
| [00:52] | Maybe he’s watching us through his telescope! | 也许他在用望远镜看我们 |
| [00:54] | Whoa. You think? | 你这么觉得 |
| [00:55] | Oh yeah! And he’s all like, “Why’s that kid being such a pussy?” | 是的 他肯定在说”那小子为什么这么怂” |
| [01:02] | They’re beautiful! | 真漂亮 |
| [01:03] | The legend says every dragon nest contains one egg of pure gold. | 传言说每个龙的巢穴里都有一个纯金的蛋 |
| [01:08] | Pure gold? I thought it was pure chocolate. | 纯金 我以为是纯巧克力 |
| [01:11] | I heard it was an egg full of gold coins, | 我听说是一个装满金币的蛋 |
| [01:13] | but when you peel off the foil, it’s chocolate inside. | 但当你撕下箔纸 里面就是巧克力 |
| [01:16] | How would a dragon gestate something that complicated | 龙怎么会在它子宫里孕育 |
| [01:18] | in its womb, you fucking idiot? | 这么复杂的东西 你个蠢货 |
| [01:20] | I’m not an idiot, Ruben! | 我不是蠢货 鲁本 |
| [01:22] | Honestly, Blarney, I can’t take you seriously in that clown makeup. | 老实说 布拉尼 你化了小丑妆我没法认真对待你 |
| [01:25] | Hey Coral, you know I’m going to clown college. | 柯萝尔 你知道我要去上小丑大学 |
| [01:28] | Clowning is a “profession on the rise.” | 小丑是个冉冉升起的职业 |
| [01:30] | That’s a quote directly from Unemployed Clown magazine. | 这是《失业小丑》杂志里的原话 |
| [01:34] | Let’s hurry before mama dragon comes home! | 我们快点吧 趁龙妈妈还没回家 |
| [01:40] | – No gold in this one. – Stop! This feels wrong! | -这颗蛋里没有黄金 -住手 这样是不对的 |
| [01:46] | Aw, man. Nothing. | 该死 什么都没有 |
| [01:47] | I don’t want to do this anymore! | 我不想这么做了 |
| [01:51] | I don’t want the gold if it means hurting the babies! | 我不想要黄金了 如果这意味着要伤害龙宝宝 |
| [01:55] | – One egg left, Patrick. – Do it, Patrick. | -只剩一颗蛋了 帕特里克 -砸开 帕特里克 |
| [01:58] | I don’t want to! | 我不想 |
| [01:59] | Ugh, you’ll never get anywhere in life following the rules! | 循规蹈矩你只会一事无成 |
| [02:02] | We thought you were cool, dude. | 我们还以为你很酷 哥们 |
| [02:05] | Well, I hope this is the golden one. | 好吧 希望这是黄金蛋 |
| [02:30] | She’s mad for no reason! Run! | 她无缘无故就发火了 快跑 |
| [02:33] | Stay away from my sheep, you little bastards! | 别碰我的羊 小混蛋们 |
| [02:44] | See ya, fucksticks! | 再见了 傻瓜 |
| [02:54] | Well, shit. | 见鬼 |
| [03:00] | That is the worst thing I’ve ever seen! | 这是我见过的最糟糕的事 |
| [03:06] | I found him! Help me get him– | 我找到他了 帮我扶他起来 |
| [03:08] | Good luck, man! Remember! Don’t be a pussy! | 祝你好运 记住 别不要做怂逼 |
| [03:11] | You’re just gonna leave us behind? | 你们要抛下我们吗 |
| [03:13] | You’re the worst siblings ever! | 你们是史上最烂的兄妹 |
| [03:15] | Sucks to be you! We’re in your life forever! | 做你逊毙了 我们会永远存在于你的生活里 |
| [03:18] | Forever! Forever! Forever! | 永远 永远 永远 |
| [03:33] | Here’s your baby! | 这是你的宝宝 |
| [03:34] | Please, punish me but spare my brother! | 求你了 惩罚我 放过我哥哥吧 |
| [03:42] | That poor mama dragon. We killed her babies. | 那可怜的龙妈妈 我们杀了她的孩子 |
| [03:46] | Plus whatever that body count ends up being. | 还有那边死的人 |
| [03:48] | I… I swear I’m gonna make it up to everybody! | 我发誓我要补偿大家 |
| [03:51] | I’ll… I’ll help people! Like the king! | 我要像国王一样助人为乐 |
| [03:55] | I’m gonna be the best knight the kingdom has ever seen! | 我要成为王国史上最出色的骑士 |
| [04:03] | Weird day. | 奇怪的一天 |
| [04:08] | Okay, Patrick, ten years of training has led to this. | 好的 帕特里克 十年训练就为了这一刻 |
| [04:12] | The king is watching. No pressure. | 国王在观看 不要有压力 |
| [04:14] | And… go! | 开始 |
| [04:19] | Watching this idiot is the best thing about living next door. | 看这傻缺表演是做邻居最大的好处 |
| [04:22] | Glenn and Doreen must be so embarrassed. | 格伦和多琳肯定无地自容 |
| [04:25] | First their kid burns down the whole town, | 先是他们的孩子烧毁了整座小镇 |
| [04:27] | now this, this– What do you call this? | 现在又是这个 这叫啥 |
| [04:30] | I don’t know. Some sort of cosplay jack-off session. | 不知道 某种角色扮演的手淫 |
| [04:34] | Shh, I love this part. | 嘘 我爱这部分 |
| [04:39] | Patrick! Come inside! | 帕特里克 进来 |
| [04:42] | Mom, I’m practicing! | 妈 我在练习 |
| [04:43] | It’s important, sweetheart! | 这很重要 亲爱的 |
| [04:45] | Looking good, kiddo! | 你表现不错 小子 |
| [04:47] | Patrick, your father and I have something to tell you. Glenn? | 帕特里克 我和你爸爸有事要跟你说 格伦 |
| [04:51] | You need to get a job. | 你得去找份工作 |
| [04:52] | A job? No, I’m training to be a knight! | 工作 不 我要训练成为骑士 |
| [04:55] | It all started when we climbed that mountain for the dragon eggs– | 一切都始于我们爬上那座山去找龙蛋 |
| [04:58] | We know, we know, blah, blah, blah, endangered species, | 我们知道 哒哒哒哒 濒危物种 |
| [05:00] | – killed its babies, no more dragons. – Wait. What was that last part? | -杀了她孩子 没有龙了 -等等 你最后说的什么 |
| [05:03] | My God. Look, every kid wants to be a knight, | 天 每个小孩都想成为骑士 |
| [05:05] | but do you know how many kids actually go pro? | 但你知道有多少小孩能真的成为职业骑士吗 |
| [05:08] | Look at your brothers and your sister. | 看看你的兄弟们还有你姐姐 |
| [05:10] | They all have good jobs. | 他们都有好的工作 |
| [05:11] | Good jobs? Are you insane? | 好工作 你疯了吗 |
| [05:14] | Ruben works for the forest service. | 鲁本在林业局工作 |
| [05:16] | A roving gang of bandits. | 一伙四处流窜的土匪 |
| [05:18] | Blarney’s in the fine arts. | 布拉尼搞艺术 |
| [05:19] | Alcoholic birthday clown. | 酗酒的生日小丑 |
| [05:21] | Pays to have a backup career. | 有个后备工作有利无害 |
| [05:22] | And Coral is the CEO of her own shipping company! | 柯萝尔是她自己运输公司的首席执行官 |
| [05:26] | Mom, she’s a goddamn fucking pirate queen! | 妈 她就是个该死的海盗女王 |
| [05:31] | Listen, I know you love us equally– | 听着 我知道你们对我们的爱是一样的 |
| [05:33] | Uh, I mean… | 我是说 |
| [05:34] | But I’m tired of being the black sheep. | 但我受够了做害群之马 |
| [05:37] | When I’m a knight, you’re gonna realize | 等我做了骑士后 你们会意识到 |
| [05:39] | I’m the white sheep and they’re the black sheep! | 我才是家里的善人 而他们是坏人 |
| [05:41] | Then I’m finally gonna be front and center on the Christmas cards! | 然后我就能终于站在家族圣诞贺卡的正中央了 |
| [05:45] | Oh, you all look so adorable! | 你们看上去真可爱 |
| [05:47] | Yeah, well, sink or swim, hero. | 不自立 必沉沦 |
| [05:49] | I’m putting a pool table in your bedroom, | 我要在你卧室放一个台球桌 |
| [05:50] | and it’s getting delivered tomorrow. | 明天就会送到 |
| [05:51] | You’re kicking me out tomorrow? | 你明天要赶我走 |
| [05:53] | Let’s just put it this way, | 这么说吧 |
| [05:54] | I’m getting that pool table tomorrow and fucking your mother on it. | 我明天要拿到那个台球桌 然后在上面和你妈做爱 |
| [05:58] | Now, whether you’re here or not, that’s your choice. | 不管你在不在这儿 那是你的选择 |
| [06:00] | Sounds like both of you have dreams that won’t come true. | 看样子你们都有着实现不了的梦想 |
| [06:04] | Aah, this is such bullcrap! | 这简直是狗屁 |
| [06:06] | How am I supposed to atone for my sins | 我去儿童医院工作 |
| [06:08] | by taking a job at a “children’s hospital”? | 要怎么赎罪 |
| [06:12] | Okay, bad example. | 好吧 这个例子不太恰当 |
| [06:14] | But I’m certainly not gonna work at this “hospice for toddlers.” | 但我绝不要在这个幼儿收容所里工作 |
| [06:18] | Jeez, the kids around here have problems. | 天啊 这里的小孩问题真多 |
| [06:21] | What’s that one? Gravedigger for tweens? | 那是什么 给小屁孩挖墓吗 |
| [06:23] | It’s an announcement for the King’s Annual Squire Tournament. | 是国王一年一度的侍卫锦标赛公告 |
| [06:26] | It’s the Squire Tournament! | 侍卫锦标赛 |
| [06:29] | Oh! That’s nice! That’s why I put it on a public bulletin board: | 你好棒哦 所以我才把它贴在公告栏上 |
| [06:32] | so only one person sees it. | 只让一个人看 |
| [06:33] | It’s tomorrow? No, it’s usually in July! | 明天 一般都在七月啊 |
| [06:35] | Yeah, there’s an opening. Something about a friendly fire incident. | 空了一个职位出来 发生了一起友军火力误伤事件 |
| [06:38] | Except with a sword. If you ask me, it sounds like murder. | 不过用的是剑 要我说的话 听上去像是谋杀 |
| [06:41] | But I’m not done preparing! I can’t win! | 可我还没准备好 我赢不了 |
| [06:44] | Or can I? | 或者可以赢 |
| [06:46] | This could be the answer to all my problems. | 这也许能解决我的所有问题 |
| [06:48] | Now, the question is, do I even need to be here? | 问题是 我需要来这儿吗 |
| [06:50] | Because I’m starting to feel like set dressing. | 因为我感觉自己像是布景装饰 |
| [06:52] | Okay, no goodbye. | 好的 连个道别都没有 |
| [06:54] | So, I guess in your mind, it wasn’t even a real conversation. | 我猜在你看来 刚才我们之间都算不上在对话 |
| [06:58] | When I die, who will put up the flier to fill my job? I bet no one. | 我死了后 谁会来为我的职位来贴传单 肯定没人 |
| [07:05] | So long, Mom and Dad. | 再见 爸爸妈妈 |
| [07:06] | The next time you see me, I’ll be the king’s new squire! | 下次你们见到我 我将是国王的新侍卫 |
| [07:10] | This I swear because– | 我发誓 因为 |
| [07:12] | Shut up, you stupid cat! | 闭嘴 你个傻猫 |
| [07:21] | The king lives in that castle! | 国王住在那个城堡里 |
| [07:24] | No fucking shit, moron! | 废话 笨蛋 |
| [07:25] | This is really happening! | 真的要成真了 |
| [07:27] | I-I think I’m having a panic attack. | 我好像恐慌发作了 |
| [07:30] | My family’s dead from plague, but your problems seem equally hard! | 我家人死于瘟疫 但你的问题似乎同样困难 |
| [07:34] | Okay, first lesson about Kingstown: don’t say your thoughts out loud. | 关于国王镇的第一课 不要把你的想法说出来 |
| [07:38] | It’s true! We hate that! | 是真的 我们讨厌那样 |
| [07:40] | Fuckface! | 讨厌鬼 |
| [07:43] | Can I interest you in a novelty shot glass you’ll never use? | 你要一个你永远用不上的新颖酒杯吗 |
| [07:47] | No thanks, I’m not in the market for garbage. Whoa, bobbleheads! | 不了 谢谢 我不要垃圾 摇头娃娃 |
| [07:50] | Wow, King Merriman! I’m gettin’ this! | 梅里曼国王 我要这个 |
| [07:53] | Huh? Who’s this one? | 这是谁 |
| [07:54] | That’s our most famous local hooker, HPV Annie! | 那是我们最有名的本地妓女 HPV[人乳头瘤病毒]安妮 |
| [07:58] | She spread HPV? | 她传播HPV |
| [07:59] | No, she cured it. | 不 她治好了这病 |
| [08:01] | She whored her way to a biochemistry doctorate. | 她靠着做鸭子拿到了生物化学博士学位 |
| [08:04] | Of course she had HPV, you idiot! | 她当然有HPV 笨蛋 |
| [08:06] | You’re a pretty rude salesman. | 你这个销售员太无礼了 |
| [08:07] | Look, I’m sorry. I just found out I have HPV. | 抱歉 我刚得知我有HPV |
| [08:10] | Kid, you must be an interior decorator, | 小子 你肯定是室内装潢师吧 |
| [08:13] | the way you’re eyeing these yeti pelt throw rugs! | 你打量这些雪人毛皮地毯的方式 |
| [08:15] | Well, I thought yetis were white. Why are these so yellow? | 雪人不是白色的吗 怎么这些是黄的 |
| [08:18] | Fun fact, yetis piss themselves when you shoot ’em. | 有趣的事实 你开枪打雪人的时候它们会吓尿 |
| [08:22] | They also scream, scream, scream for mama, | 还会一直叫妈妈 |
| [08:25] | but mama ain’t comin’. | 但妈妈不会来 |
| [08:27] | Ain’t nobody comin’. | 没人会来 |
| [08:28] | Nobody ‘cept me and my peltin’ knife. | 除了我和我的剥皮刀 |
| [08:32] | I can tell you’ve got an eye for black-light art, friendo. | 我能看出你喜欢黑光艺术 朋友 |
| [08:35] | Orcs playing poker? Kind of tacky. | 半兽人要打扑克 有点俗气 |
| [08:38] | – You got a problem with orcs? – No, I– | -你对半兽人有意见吗 -没有 我 |
| [08:40] | What about orcs who move to the big city to pursue their dreams | 那那些为了追寻梦想而搬到大城市 |
| [08:43] | only to find the art community insular and snobbish? | 最后却发现艺术圈子保守和势利的半兽人呢 |
| [08:46] | Are you talking about yourself? | 你在说你自己吗 |
| [08:48] | Me? I’m definitely not an orc | 我 我绝对不是一个 |
| [08:51] | who turned out to be way less talented than he thought. | 成就低于自己预期的半兽人 |
| [08:53] | – Okay. – Please buy a painting! | -好吧 -请买一幅画 |
| [08:58] | Okay, here’s my application. | 好了 这是我的申请书 |
| [09:01] | Great! I just need your application fee. | 很好 我只需要你缴纳申请费 |
| [09:03] | Newbie, huh? Not me! | 新人吗 我可不是 |
| [09:05] | Eighth time’s the charm, as the saying goes. | 俗话说得好 八次出奇迹 |
| [09:08] | Nobody says that. Hi, I’m Patrick. | 没人这么说 你好 我是帕特里克 |
| [09:09] | The name’s Broth. | 我叫布洛斯[肉汁] |
| [09:11] | The best part of any soup, also as the saying goes. | 它是任何汤里的精华 也是俗话 |
| [09:14] | – Nobody says that. – So if you forget my name, | -没人这么说 -如果你忘了我名字 |
| [09:16] | just picture a bowl of soup attempting something eight times. | 就想象一碗尝试一件事八次的汤 |
| [09:19] | Hey, I’ve never done this before. | 我从来没参加过这比赛 |
| [09:20] | Do you mind if I tag along with you? | 你介意我跟着你吗 |
| [09:22] | Not at all! | 一点也不 |
| [09:22] | Don’t worry, everyone gets butterflies before the tournament. | 别担心 人人在开赛之前都会感到紧张 |
| [09:25] | You see that bush over there? | 你看到那边那个灌木丛了吗 |
| [09:26] | I’ve puked behind it eight years in a row! | 我连续八年在它后面呕吐 |
| [09:28] | Oh gross, someone set their stuff in it. | 好恶心 有人把他们的东西放在了那里 |
| [09:31] | That’s… my stuff. | 那是 我的东西 |
| [09:35] | All righty! I just need your fee. | 好了 请缴纳费用 |
| [09:37] | Great. | 棒 |
| [09:47] | You think anyone can tell my armor is 90 percent aluminum foil? | 你觉得有人能看出我的盔甲9成的成分是铝箔吗 |
| [09:51] | No. | 不能 |
| [09:51] | You see that sweet armor down there? | 你看到那边那个盔甲了吗 |
| [09:53] | The dildo inside is named Holden. | 里面的傻缺叫霍尔顿 |
| [09:55] | – He’s the odds-on favorite to win. – There’s odds? | -他是最被看好获胜的人 -还有赔率 |
| [10:01] | They misspelled my name! | 他们拼错了我名字 |
| [10:03] | It seems accurate. | 看样子是对的 |
| [10:06] | All hail His Royal Majesty King Merriman | 热烈欢迎梅里曼国王陛下 |
| [10:09] | and Her Royal Highness Queen Tulip! | 以及图莉璞皇后殿下 |
| [10:12] | I’m breathing the same air as the king and queen! | 我跟国王和皇后呼吸着同样的空气 |
| [10:17] | I wonder what they’re talking about. | 真想知道他们在说是 |
| [10:19] | I bet it’s something important! | 肯定是要事 |
| [10:21] | Those tulips look like they’ve already seen a red carpet or two. | 那些郁金香看上去像是已经见过红毯了 |
| [10:24] | We’re recycling them now because they are fucking expensive. | 我们现在开始回收它们 因为太贵了 |
| [10:29] | For the price of this stupid tournament, | 以这破比赛的价格 |
| [10:30] | we could buy so many tulips I’d have tulips coming out of my asshole. | 我们可以买好多郁金香 多到能从我屁眼里冒出来 |
| [10:34] | It’s a dream come true! | 梦想成真 |
| [10:37] | Tell him it’s going to be a nightmare come true | 告诉他会是噩梦成真 |
| [10:39] | when I get done kicking the unholy shit out of him. | 我会把他揍出渎神之屎 |
| [10:43] | Yeah, Holden says good luck. | 霍尔顿说祝你好运 |
| [10:45] | Tell him thanks! | 跟他说谢谢 |
| [10:48] | He says to go fuck yourself. | 他说操你妈 |
| [10:56] | Do those tulips look subpar to anyone else? | 还有人觉得那些郁金香不够标准吗 |
| [10:58] | Ready… aim… | 预备 瞄准 |
| [11:00] | squire! | 侍卫 |
| [11:08] | This is it! Time to shine! | 就是现在了 是时候发光发亮了 |
| [11:13] | Low blow! Low blow! | 不要脸 不要脸 |
| [11:15] | That was a rules violation! | 那违反了规则 |
| [11:16] | Deduct five points from that man at once! | 立刻给那人扣掉五分 |
| [11:21] | Sorry! Sorry! Hope the damage isn’t spermanent! | 抱歉 抱歉 希望不会对你的精子造成永久性损伤 |
| [11:31] | Jesus, that kid’s got a piñata for a sack. | 老天 那孩子的蛋蛋就像是皮纳塔 |
| [11:34] | Oh God! It’s my childhood all over again! | 天 我的童年阴影又回来了 |
| [11:38] | Nut shot! | 打蛋 |
| [11:41] | Nut shot! | 打蛋 |
| [11:43] | Pirate-style! | 海盗风 |
| [11:46] | It’s not fair! Girls don’t have nutsacks! | 这不公平 女生没有蛋蛋 |
| [11:49] | Girls don’t have nutsacks, | 女生没有蛋蛋 |
| [11:51] | don’t have nutsacks. | 没有蛋蛋 |
| [11:53] | I remember now! | 我记起来了 |
| [11:54] | Nut shot! | 打蛋 |
| [11:56] | Countered, motherfucker! | 挡住了 傻逼 |
| [12:00] | But how? | 怎么会这样 |
| [12:01] | My penis and balls are tucked safely between my legs! | 我的鸡鸡和蛋蛋都安全夹在了我的双腿之间 |
| [12:17] | Yes! | 棒 |
| [12:25] | Welcome… to the next level, fools! | 欢迎来到下一级 笨蛋们 |
| [12:30] | Who will dare match wits with the royal magician Blinkerquartz? | 谁要和皇家魔术师闪烁石英斗智斗勇 |
| [12:34] | Wow, I can’t wait to meet him! | 我等不及要见他了 |
| [12:36] | It’s me, fuckhead! | 就是我 傻逼 |
| [12:38] | What, do you think I’m wearing this outfit for shits and gigs? | 你以为我穿成这样是为了好玩吗 |
| [12:40] | Your tone says “no.” | 你的语气说”不是” |
| [12:41] | Prepare yourselves! What magic will you face? | 做好准备 你们要面对什么魔术 |
| [12:45] | Lightning bolts? Will your swords turn to snakes? | 闪电术 你们的剑会变成蛇吗 |
| [12:48] | Well perhaps, but let’s start slow. | 也许 但我们先慢点开始 |
| [12:50] | One gold coin is all it takes to see what magic Blinkerquartz makes. | 一个金币就能看到闪烁石英能做什么魔术了 |
| [12:54] | All bets final. Who wants to get rich? Is it you? Is it you? | 赌注不可改变 谁想变富 是你吗 是你吗 |
| [12:58] | Wait. That’s not magic! | 等等 那可不是魔术 |
| [13:01] | Blarney, I need my lunch money! | 布拉尼 我要我的午饭钱 |
| [13:03] | How’d you like to double your lunch money? | 你想要让你的午饭钱翻倍吗 |
| [13:05] | Find the ace and you’ll be up to your crack in tater tots! | 找到A 你就能吃到无数的油炸土豆丸子 |
| [13:09] | Uh, isn’t one of those supposed to be an ace? | 这里面不该有张牌是A吗 |
| [13:15] | I grew up with cheaters. | 我是和骗子一起长大的 |
| [13:17] | Nobody knows cheaters the way I do! That’s my edge! | 没人有我这么了解骗子 那是我的优势 |
| [13:21] | Aah, so close! Try your luck again? | 就差一点 再来试试 |
| [13:24] | Hey, can I play? Oh shit! The cops! | 我能玩吗 见鬼 警察来了 |
| [13:27] | Where? I can’t do another dime! | 在哪 我没法再去坐十年牢 |
| [13:30] | Found it. Do I win? | 找到了 算我赢吗 |
| [13:33] | – Aw, shit! – He cheated me! | -该死 -他骗了我 |
| [13:34] | Wait, wait, wait! There’s more– Oh my God! | 等等 还有更多 我的天 |
| [13:39] | Whistle whip! I trusted you, man! I trusted you! | 口哨鞭子 亏我那么信你 亏我那么信你 |
| [13:44] | Wow, Patrick! You’re doing great! | 帕特里克 你表现好棒 |
| [13:47] | I’m still not sure how the points are being awarded. | 我还是没搞懂分数是怎么算的 |
| [13:53] | This game is corrupt as hell! | 这比赛太腐败了 |
| [13:55] | If I’m going to win, I’ll have to out-cheat the cheaters! | 我要想赢的话 我得比所有骗子还精明 |
| [13:58] | Ah, the old two-wrongs-make-a-right philosophy. I hear ya. | 古老的积非成是哲学 我懂你 |
| [14:01] | Wait. No-no. | 等等 不是 |
| [14:03] | You cheat your way into the job then you be the best cheater you can be! | 你靠作弊拿到工作 然后尽力做一个最棒的骗子 |
| [14:05] | But you can’t beat a rigged system by playing fair! | 但是靠公平竞争你没法战胜一个被操纵的体系 |
| [14:09] | Sounds like a real moral conundrum! | 听上去像是个道德难题 |
| [14:11] | Fuckface! | 讨厌鬼 |
| [14:15] | Nothing separates the men from the boys quite like hand-to-hand combat. | 没有什么比肉搏战更能区分男人和男孩了 |
| [14:20] | Pardon me, Queen Tulip? Question. | 打扰下 图莉璞皇后 有个问题 |
| [14:22] | Uh, why did we have to strip for this? | 我们为什么要脱光衣服 |
| [14:26] | Like I said, men from the boys. Now, line up according to bulge. | 我说了 要区分男人和男孩 根据下面大小排队 |
| [14:29] | Oh good, the hot oil guy’s here. | 很好 热油小哥来了 |
| [14:33] | Well, if no one’s going to lend me their underwear, | 如果没人借我内裤的话 |
| [14:35] | I guess this is happening. | 那我就只能这样了 |
| [14:42] | Where the hell is my wife? | 我老婆呢 |
| [14:44] | – Your Highness, she’s– – Quit jabbering, man. | -陛下 她 -别叽叽喳喳了 |
| [14:46] | We’ve gotta make hay while the sun shines. | 我们要趁热打铁 |
| [14:48] | I’ll decide when I’ve had enough nachos! | 什么时候吃够了玉米片我说了算 |
| [14:51] | I’m a grown-ass man! | 我是个成年人了 |
| [14:56] | Hey, Broth, where’s Wembley? | 布洛斯 温布利呢 |
| [14:58] | Yes! Yes! Rub your young body all over me! | 就这样 用你年轻的身体尽情摩擦我 |
| [15:02] | Every squire tournament she ghosts me. What’s that about? | 每次侍卫锦标赛的时候她就玩消失 搞什么 |
| [15:06] | – I’m glad you asked. She’s– – Could I get a less chatty guard? | -真高兴你问了 她 -我能有个不那么话痨的守卫吗 |
| [15:10] | Patrick, you’re up. | 帕特里克 该你了 |
| [15:13] | Your Majesty? | 殿下 |
| [15:15] | Have you ever fucked on an 800-pound chandelier | 你有在一个匆忙固定在帆布帐篷顶端 |
| [15:17] | hastily bolted to the top of a canvas tent? | 重量为800磅的吊灯上做过吗 |
| [15:21] | Sure have! | 当然有过 |
| [15:24] | Then grab a ladder! | 那就拿把梯子过来 |
| [15:29] | I’ve had my eye on you all day, | 我盯了你一整天了 |
| [15:31] | but I want to make one thing perfectly clear: | 但我想说明一件事 |
| [15:33] | if you’re under 18… | 如果你不满18岁 |
| [15:35] | that would be way hotter! | 那只会更加劲爆 |
| [15:37] | – But you’re married, to the king! – Yes. | -可你嫁给了国王啊 -是的 |
| [15:40] | We have what’s called a cheating-on-each-other marriage. | 我们有着互相出轨的婚姻 |
| [15:42] | It’s very progressive. | 很前卫 |
| [15:45] | I wish I was going to prom like you, Ruben, | 真希望我能像你一样去参加毕业舞会 鲁本 |
| [15:47] | but I’m way too shy to ask out a girl. | 但我太害羞不敢约女生 |
| [15:50] | You know, what if she says no? | 万一她拒绝呢 |
| [15:51] | Ah, Patrick, you’re so cute, my little buddy who has never seen a tit. | 帕特里克 你真可爱 我弟弟从没见过奶子 |
| [15:55] | You remind me of me never. | 你让我想起了我 才怪 |
| [15:56] | Take it from me, the mayor of Trim Town. | 听我的 我可是撩妹镇镇长 |
| [15:58] | To score with the ladies, you gotta be a lying dickhole. | 要想追到女人 你得做一个十足的大骗子 |
| [16:01] | – Really? – Really! | -真的吗 -真的 |
| [16:03] | Patrick, my prom date thinks I’m a millionaire fireman | 帕特里克 我的舞会对象以为我是身家百万的消防员 |
| [16:05] | who’s posing as a high-schooler to bust a drug ring. | 为了捣毁一个贩毒集团而假扮成高中生 |
| [16:07] | And instead of breaking up with her, | 我不会和她分手 |
| [16:09] | I’ll just fake my own death in a boating accident, | 而是会假装死于一次划船事故 |
| [16:11] | ’cause nobody questions boat death. | 因为没人会过问因划船而死的人 |
| [16:12] | I’m telling you, buddy, when it comes to women, lie your ass off! | 我跟你说 涉及到女人的时候 只管拼命撒谎 |
| [16:18] | Lie my ass off, lie my ass off. | 拼命撒谎 拼命撒谎 |
| [16:20] | Your Highness, we can’t have sex! I’m married! | 殿下 我们不能做爱 我结婚了 |
| [16:23] | – Me too! – I’m secretly a woman! | -我也是 -我私下其实是女人 |
| [16:26] | This just got hotter! | 这样更性感 |
| [16:28] | – And I’m pregnant! – Way hotter! | -我还怀孕了 -性感爆棚 |
| [16:31] | – I also have diarrhea! – I could get into that. | -我腹泻 -我可以培养兴趣 |
| [16:36] | Fine, no more lies! | 好吧 不撒谎了 |
| [16:38] | The truth is I’m a virgin and I’m scared of you! | 事实是我是处男 我很怕你 |
| [16:44] | Just how horny are you trying to make me? | 你到底想要让我多欲火焚身 |
| [16:47] | – But i… i… – Yes? Yes? | -可我 -是吗 是吗 |
| [16:49] | I just don’t want to! | 我就是不想做 |
| [16:52] | Why didn’t you just say that? | 你为什么不早说 |
| [16:53] | This needs to be consensual, Patrick. I’m not a monster. | 做爱需要双方都同意 帕特里克 我又不是禽兽 |
| [16:57] | Oh. Then, uh, thanks. | 那 谢谢了 |
| [17:02] | That is one mixed-up pregnant virgin. | 那是个糊涂的怀孕处子 |
| [17:07] | Well, what did I miss? Where is everybody? | 我错过了什么 大家人呢 |
| [17:08] | The medic just yanked a bunch of guys. | 医疗人员刚赶走了一群人 |
| [17:10] | Says it’s the worst epidemic of stage four gonorrhea he’s ever seen. | 说这是他见过的最糟糕的四期淋病疫情 |
| [17:13] | – Hey, should I go visit the Queen? – I would not do that. | -我要去见皇后吗 -最好别去 |
| [17:18] | Ladies and gentlemen, who’s ready for the main event? | 女士们先生们 谁准备好观看主赛事了 |
| [17:23] | I can’t hear you! | 我听不到你们 |
| [17:25] | He can’t hear us! The king’s gone deaf! | 他听不到我们 国王聋了 |
| [17:27] | – We have no leader! – We’ll be invaded! | -我们没有领袖 -我们将被入侵 |
| [17:30] | I said, who’s ready for the main event? | 我说 谁准备好观看主赛事了 |
| [17:35] | It’s time to fucking joust! | 是时候开始长枪比武了 |
| [17:44] | Tell me again about the tulip budget, you son of a bitch! | 你再跟我说说郁金香预算呢 你个混蛋 |
| [17:48] | – I can’t believe what I’m seeing! – I know, it’s awesome, right? | -我不敢相信眼前的画面 -很棒 对不对 |
| [17:51] | Beggars are starving in the streets | 乞讨者在街上挨饿 |
| [17:53] | and the king wastes our tax money on this garbage! | 而国王浪费我们的纳税钱买这些垃圾 |
| [17:58] | I’m sorry, pal, I can’t hear you over all this entertainment! | 抱歉 伙计 现场这么热闹我听不到你 |
| [18:06] | – Have you ever jousted before? – Nope. | -你有参加过长枪比武吗 -没有 |
| [18:08] | – Have you ever joosted before? – What’s the difference? | -那长屌比武呢 -有什么区别 |
| [18:11] | Joosting’s when two dudes | 长屌比武就是 |
| [18:12] | run full steam at each other with their dicks out. | 两个男的露出屌 全力向对方冲过去 |
| [18:14] | Oh come on, when the hell would I have done that? | 拜托 我什么时候会做过那种事 |
| [18:16] | I dunno. We had very different proms, I guess. | 我不知道 我想我们的毕业舞会很不一样吧 |
| [18:22] | Riders ready? | 骑手们准备 |
| [18:34] | Ref, that was high-sticking! Aren’t you going to call that? | 裁判 那人举杆过肩 你不吹吗 |
| [18:37] | Oh, good observation! Riders ready? | 观察得真仔细 骑手们准备 |
| [18:49] | He threw mud in my face! The king can’t possibly approve of that! | 他朝我的脸扔泥土 国王不可能赞同这种行为吧 |
| [18:53] | Oh, this Holden kid’s a born winner! Creative as hell! | 这个霍尔顿是天生的赢家 真有创意 |
| [18:58] | You thought he’d say one thing, and he said the opposite. | 你以为他会这么说 结果他说的话完全相反 |
| [19:00] | In the comedy biz that’s called the ol’ zoop-de-doop! | 在喜剧届 这就叫做唱反调 |
| [19:04] | Also, that was not mud. | 还有 那不是泥土 |
| [19:11] | Let me go– | 放开我 |
| [19:15] | What am I doing? Why do I even want to be a squire for these people? | 我在干什么 我为什么想要给这些人做侍卫 |
| [19:19] | Because employees get ten percent off everything in the gift shop, baby! | 因为雇员在礼品店买东西可以打九折 亲爱的 |
| [19:23] | Yeah, well, all the employees are entitled cheating assholes! | 但是所有雇员都是自以为是的大骗子 |
| [19:27] | Well, to hell with this, I quit! | 去死吧 我退出 |
| [19:30] | I’m not a cheater and I never will be. | 我不是骗子 以后也不会是 |
| [19:33] | Hey! Dildo! Hurry up and lose, ’cause it’s my mom’s birthday next week | 傻屌 赶紧输吧 因为下周是我妈的生日 |
| [19:36] | and she’s getting a shot glass with the king’s face on it… | 我要给她买一个印有国王面孔的酒杯 |
| [19:39] | ten percent off. | 九折 |
| [19:41] | Oh, fuck this guy. | 操他妈的 |
| [19:45] | Hey, where’s my stick thingy? | 我的长矛呢 |
| [19:50] | What the…? | 什么鬼 |
| [19:55] | – Holy shit! – Holy shit! | -我嘞个去 -我嘞个去 |
| [19:58] | Holy shit! | 我嘞个去 |
| [20:00] | Nice. Holden’s probably dead, huh? | 不错 霍尔顿多半死了 |
| [20:02] | Yeah, that’s right, I cheated! | 没错 我作了弊 |
| [20:05] | Just like everybody else in this tournament of turds! | 就像这个狗屎比赛里的所有人一样 |
| [20:09] | You can take your squire job, | 你可以拿走你的侍卫工作 |
| [20:11] | your fireworks, your castle, your tulips, and your STD bobbleheads | 你的烟花 你的城堡 你的郁金香 你的性病摇头娃娃 |
| [20:16] | and shove them all right up your royal ass! | 把他们全都塞进你的皇家菊花 |
| [20:21] | The king demands… | 国王要求 |
| [20:30] | …a slow clap. | 全体缓慢鼓掌 |
| [20:33] | Oh, I have news for you, motherfucker. | 我有消息要告诉你 王八蛋 |
| [20:36] | You’re my new squire! | 你是我的新侍卫 |
| [20:43] | That’s right! Starting Monday, I’m gonna take you under my wing, kid! | 没错 从下周一开始 我要招你至我的麾下 孩子 |
| [20:46] | You’re gonna learn from the best! The old master himself! | 你要师从最棒的侍卫 大师本人 |
| [20:49] | Numero uno! The big king daddy! | 头号人物 国王爸爸 |
| [20:52] | Oh, the adventures you’re gonna have! | 我要不是国王的话 |
| [20:54] | I’d be jealous of you if I wasn’t the king! | 我会嫉妒你将经历的冒险 |
| [20:57] | Oh, no. What have I done? | 不 我做了什么 |
| [21:03] | All right, let’s put a good spin on this. | 好了 咱们来个正面结局吧 |
| [21:06] | Mom! Dad! Guess who can suck it! | 妈妈 爸爸 猜猜谁要被打脸了 |
| [21:09] | Somebody’s dream wasn’t so stupid after all! | 看来有人的梦想并不愚蠢 |
| [21:14] | Hello, little brother! | 你好 弟弟 |
| [21:15] | We hear you’ve got a new job. | 我们听说你找到了新工作 |
| [21:17] | Working for the royal family? That’s very exciting news. | 给皇家工作 真令人激动 |
| [21:21] | For all of us. | 我们都很激动 |
| [21:23] | Gee, I’m real tired, guys! I’m just gonna… be in my room. | 天 我很累了 我要回我屋子了 |
| [21:27] | But what a pleasant surprise to see you! | 不过见到你们真是惊喜 |
| [21:29] | Surprise? Oh, Patrick. You know we’re in your life forever. | 惊喜 帕特里克 你知道我们会永远存在于你的生活里 |
| [21:36] | Oh. Yeah! Yeah! Two balls in your corner pocket! | 爽 爽 两颗球[蛋]进了你的底袋 |
| [21:42] | I’m livin’ the dream! | 我梦想成真了 |