| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:04] | I think you have a real future in the religious markets. | 我觉得你在宗教市场很有前途 |
| [00:06] | Really? | 真的吗 |
| [00:07] | I loved that Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. | 我很喜欢耶稣复活拉扎勒斯 |
| [00:09] | Maybe Lazarus wanted to be dead. | 也许拉扎勒斯想死呢 |
| [00:11] | Can you imagine if Jesus raised him and Lazarus came up like… | 你能想象耶稣把他复活 拉扎勒斯说了句 |
| [00:14] | “Oh, man!” | 我靠 |
| [00:18] | Ali did stand-up on Seth Meyers. | 爱丽在塞斯·梅耶斯的节目上表演单口 |
| [00:20] | Some comics are gonna get together and watch. | 一些喜剧演员要一起看 |
| [00:22] | And like– | 他们 |
| [00:23] | They’re like, “Uh, you’re glowing. | 他们说”你容光焕发” |
| [00:24] | – I’m like, “Well… – Do not shush me. | -我说 -别叫我安静 |
| [00:27] | – Stop it! – Tonight was about Ali. | -放开我 -今晚是爱丽的大日子 |
| [00:29] | I’ll let you go– go back to her. | 我把你还给她怎么样 |
| [00:31] | – You’re a shitty boyfriend. – Okay. | -你这个男朋友真是糟透了 -好吧 |
| [00:33] | And you’re an even shittier comic. | 当喜剧演员更糟 |
| [00:36] | Kat and I just had a really big fight. | 凯特和我刚才大吵了一架 |
| [00:38] | I really am sorry. | 真的很抱歉 |
| [00:48] | One, two, three, four. | 一 二 三 四 |
| [01:01] | 凯特 我们做普通朋友吧 去你妈的 | |
| [01:45] | I was watching a James Bond movie recently, | 我最近在看詹姆斯·邦德的电影 |
| [01:47] | and James Bond had his gun pointed at the bad guy, right? | 詹姆斯·邦德用枪指着坏人 |
| [01:50] | He had him in the corner. | 把他堵在墙角 |
| [01:51] | And the bad guy had one last line, and he goes, | 坏人最后说了一句 |
| [01:54] | “See you in Hell!” | 地狱见 |
| [01:57] | And James Bond, he’s always | 詹姆斯·邦德 |
| [01:58] | supposed to have a good retort, right? | 他一般都会回怼的吧 |
| [01:59] | And he goes, “You first.” | 他说”你先请” |
| [02:07] | Is that a good comeback? | 这算回怼吗 |
| [02:13] | James Bond is going to Hell? | 詹姆斯·邦德会下地狱 |
| [02:16] | And knows he’s going to Hell? | 他知道他会下地狱吗 |
| [02:19] | And isn’t concerned? | 他不担心吗 |
| [02:21] | He’s just like, | 他就像 |
| [02:21] | “Yeah, but you’ll be there a little bit before I’m there.” | 是的 但我去之前 你先去待着吧 |
| [02:28] | It’s not a good comeback. He should be like, “See you in Hell!” | 这哪叫回怼 他应该是这样 “地狱见” |
| [02:31] | James Bond should be like, “No! | 詹姆斯·邦德应该说”不” |
| [02:38] | I have the love of Jesus in my h-e-a-r-t!” | 我心中对耶稣满怀爱意 |
| [02:41] | Bang! That’s a better comeback. | 这才叫回怼 |
| [02:49] | How pissed would you be | 如果你被杀下地狱了 |
| [02:50] | if you were murdered and went to Hell | 然后在地狱看到杀了你的人 |
| [02:53] | and saw the guy who murdered you? | 你能有多气 |
| [02:56] | You’re down there forever, and you’re like, | 你永世不得翻身 然后说 |
| [02:57] | “Yeah, I was a bad guy, but another guy– | 是的 我是个坏人 但另一个人 |
| [03:00] | actually that guy right over there, he shot me. | 就在那 是他开枪打死了我 |
| [03:04] | Hi! Remember me? | 还记得我吗 |
| [03:06] | You shot me! | 你打死了我 |
| [03:08] | Yeah… , but here we are. | 是啊 但你看咱俩 |
| [03:12] | Together again.” | 又在一起了 |
| [03:15] | You guys were amazing. Thank you so much. | 你们真是太棒了 非常感谢 |
| [03:17] | – Thank you. – Thanks. | -谢谢 -谢谢 |
| [03:18] | – Yeah, have a good night. – Bye. | -晚安 -再见 |
| [03:21] | Pete. Pete. | 皮特 皮特 |
| [03:29] | – Hey. Great show. – Hey. Thank you. | -表演太棒了 -谢谢 |
| [03:31] | Marcie, this has been amazing. | 玛西 真是太棒了 |
| [03:33] | Some of the best crowds I’ve ever had in my life, | 这些观众真是太棒了 |
| [03:35] | and I’m signing autographs like Kevin James did at TCBY. | 我在这就像凯文·詹姆斯在冰酸奶店签名一样 |
| [03:38] | – Well, everybody loves you. – Thank you. | -大家都很喜欢你 -谢谢 |
| [03:40] | How do you feel about doing morning radio tomorrow? | 你明天做个早间广播怎么样 |
| [03:44] | – Really? Just me? – Yes! | -真的吗 只有我 -是的 |
| [03:46] | We need somebody with the gift of gab, and that’s you. | 我们需要一个能说会道的人 就是你了 |
| [03:49] | Marcie, I would love to do morning– | 玛西 我很愿意 |
| [03:51] | That’s my first morning radio. | 这是我第一次做早间广播 |
| [03:52] | Cool! Oh, um, I was just wondering | 好 你有没有 |
| [03:55] | if you’d had a chance to look at your contract. | 看你的合同 |
| [03:58] | I signed it, yeah. Did you get it? | 我签了 你收到了吗 |
| [04:00] | My manager’s kind of– he’s not great. | 我的经纪人 不太行 |
| [04:03] | Well, I’m sure it was just a slip of the tongue, | 我相信只是口误 |
| [04:06] | but you said “Pissed” On stage tonight. | 但你今晚在台上说”气[尿]” |
| [04:10] | – I did? – Yeah. | -是吗 -是的 |
| [04:12] | – You’re absolutely– Yeah… – Yeah. | -你说得没错 嗯 -是的 |
| [04:13] | …I did not mean to do that. Is that something I shouldn’t– | 我不是故意的 我不能 |
| [04:16] | I shouldn’t do that? | 我不能说吗 |
| [04:17] | No, no. It’s a bodily function, yeah, | 不能 这是身体机能 |
| [04:19] | so, you know, it’s in that contract. | 所以合同里有 |
| [04:22] | Oh, I’m– I’m so sorry. I’ll read the contract, | 我很抱歉 我会看看合同的 |
| [04:24] | but I don’t normally do jokes like that. | 但我通常不开那样的玩笑 所以 |
| [04:26] | Yeah. No, that’s great. Okay, good. Thank you. | 太好了 很好 谢谢 |
| [04:28] | And you know what? Everybody loves it | 你知道吗 大家都很喜欢 |
| [04:30] | when you talk about your faith. | 你谈论你的信仰 |
| [04:32] | So talk about my faith more? | 那就多谈谈我的信仰 |
| [04:34] | Yes, yes. We love it when you talk about your faith. | 是的 我们很喜欢你谈论你的信仰 |
| [04:36] | You should stick with that. | 你应该多聊聊 |
| [04:37] | Yeah. I– I wanna make sure I’m giving them the show | 我想给他们表演 |
| [04:40] | – that they want to see, and– – Right. | -他们想看的东西 -嗯 |
| [04:42] | Well, I will see you bright and early in the morning. | 明天早上见啦 |
| [04:44] | – I’m so excited. Thank you. – Okay? Get some shut-eye. | -我太兴奋了 谢谢 -早点睡哦 |
| [04:47] | I’m gonna– I’m gonna go to bed right now. | 我现在就去睡 |
| [04:49] | You might have some more autographs. | 你可能还得继续签名 |
| [04:51] | I see people lining up. | 人家还排着队呢 |
| [04:52] | Thank you, Marcie. Sorry again! | 谢谢 玛西 再次抱歉 |
| [04:53] | That’s all right. Just keep to it. | 没关系 继续加油 |
| [04:55] | – Okay. – Good night. | -好的 -晚安 |
| [05:00] | But as you know… | 但你知道 |
| [05:01] | our Lord and Savior was crucified and buried, | 我们的主和救世主被钉在十字架上埋葬了 |
| [05:05] | and on the third day… | 第三天 |
| [05:09] | He rose. | 他复活了 |
| [05:10] | You can pass your finger around | 你可以把手指伸过来 |
| [05:11] | and make sure there’s no threads or anything. | 确保没有线什么的 |
| [05:13] | – Really? – Yeah. | -真的吗 -是的 |
| [05:18] | Are you fucking kidding me? | 你他妈逗我呢 |
| [05:19] | You can’t text a break-up. | 你不能发短信分手 |
| [05:21] | I said, “We need to talk.” | 我说了我们需要谈谈 |
| [05:23] | “We need to talk” Is I’m going to break up with you, | 也就是说我要和你分手 |
| [05:25] | and then you beat me to it with this fucking text? | 然后你就先发短信跟我提分手 |
| [05:28] | What kind of limp-dick fuck would do that? | 哪种渣男会这么做啊 |
| [05:32] | You all right down there? | 你没事吧 |
| [05:35] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [05:39] | Though I think I just broke up with my girlfriend. | 虽然我刚和女朋友分手了 |
| [05:42] | Yeah, man, I hear that. | 是的 我听到了 |
| [05:44] | Which is weird ’cause, I mean, I was… | 这很奇怪 因为我 |
| [05:46] | I was crazy about her. | 我很喜欢她 |
| [05:49] | Now I feel like I was dating someone I didn’t even know. | 现在我觉得我在和一个不认识的人交往 |
| [05:53] | You ever break up with somebody | 你有过分手后 |
| [05:54] | and then you figure out who they are? | 才真正了解她们的时候吗 |
| [05:57] | Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. | 嗯 我明白你的意思 |
| [05:58] | But as long as you know who you are | 但只要你知道自己是什么样 |
| [06:00] | and that relationship got you closer to figuring that out, | 而这段感情让你更有自知之明了 |
| [06:03] | then you’re good. | 这就够了 |
| [06:05] | You know, sometimes we don’t know what… | 有时候我们不知道 |
| [06:06] | what’s going on, but God does. | 发生了什么 但上帝知道 |
| [06:14] | So Lester, lots of news today. | 莱斯特 今天有可多新闻了 |
| [06:16] | A Mexican restaurant caught fire the other day. | 之前有家墨西哥餐厅着火了 |
| [06:19] | Would you describe it as a mild fire? | 火势不大吗 |
| [06:21] | Weird, I thought it would be chili. | 奇怪 我以为火势会很大 |
| [06:23] | They really need to cool it with those habaneros. | 他们真得和那些哈瓦那人缓和关系了 |
| [06:25] | Hey, careful, that plate’s hot! | 小心点 那盘子可烫了 |
| [06:27] | I just don’t know what I’m going to say. | 我不知道我要说什么 |
| [06:30] | just go in there and let your light shine. | 只管走进去大放光彩就行 |
| [06:32] | I can do that. | 我可以的 |
| [06:33] | I can. | 我可以 |
| [06:35] | – Pete? – Yes. | -皮特 -我在 |
| [06:37] | – They’re ready for you. – Great. | -大家在等你了 -好极了 |
| [06:39] | You stay here. | 你待在这 |
| [06:40] | I’ll stay here and listen. I’m so excited. | 我会待在这专心听你说 我好激动 |
| [06:42] | Okay, like my mom at the dentist. Love you. | 好的 就像我妈在牙医面前一样 爱你 |
| [06:45] | I had the biggest poop the other day. | 有天我拉了超大一坨屎 |
| [06:47] | I swear, it looked like the letter Q. | 我发誓形状跟Q一样 |
| [06:51] | – This is Pete Holmes. – Oh hi, Pete. | -这位是皮特·福尔摩斯 -皮特 |
| [06:53] | Hey, I’m Lester. | 我是莱斯特 |
| [06:54] | Cool, nice to meet you. | 很高兴认识你 |
| [06:56] | – This is Cindy. – Hi, nice to meet you. | -这位是辛迪 -很高兴认识你 |
| [06:57] | That’s you in that chair, right there. Have a seat. | 那是你的座位 请坐 |
| [07:00] | This is what you guys look like. | 这就是你们看上去的样子 |
| [07:02] | – Yeah, it is. – Yeah, this is us. | -是啊 -这就是我们 |
| [07:04] | Be it as it may. Uh… | 话虽如此 |
| [07:05] | We go on the air in about 40 seconds, | 我们四十秒后开始直播 |
| [07:07] | so, what are we promoting today? | 我们今天推销什么 |
| [07:09] | Um, I’m promoting the Good Faith Variety Tour. | 推销真诚信仰巡演 |
| [07:11] | And what is that? | 那是什么 |
| [07:12] | It’s a Christian variety show. | 是个基督教演出 |
| [07:14] | I’m a comedian– um, a Christian comedian. | 我是名喜剧演员 基督喜剧演员 |
| [07:16] | A Christian comedian? | 基督喜剧演员 |
| [07:17] | Don’t tell me anymore. I wanna make fun of that on the air. | 不必多说了 我想在直播中取笑一番 |
| [07:21] | What, uh– | 什么 |
| [07:21] | Yeah, those are your headphones, put those on. | 那是你的耳机 带上吧 |
| [07:23] | Your mic volume is down below. | 你的音量控制在下方 |
| [07:25] | Your cough button’s there, that will mute your mic. | 静音键在这 能将你的麦克风静音 |
| [07:27] | Z88.7, The Rock of Charleston. | Z88.7 查尔斯顿大摇滚 |
| [07:30] | It’s your old buddy Lester reminding you | 这里是你们的老朋友莱斯特提醒你 |
| [07:31] | that the best defense is a good offensive, so… | 进攻是最好的防守 所以 |
| [07:34] | if you struggle with foot odor like I used to– | 如果你也像我以前一样纠结于脚气 |
| [07:35] | Oh boy, don’t I know it. | 老天爷 没人比我更懂了 |
| [07:37] | Yeah, attack it with Dr. Scholl’s | 请选择爽健牌 |
| [07:38] | Odor-X odor-fighting foot powder. | 脚气喷雾粉 |
| [07:40] | It’s great. Ask for it by name. | 超级好用 记住名字 |
| [07:42] | All right, do it to it. Now… | 买就对了 |
| [07:43] | I’m very excited to have this guy in studio with us. | 很高兴今天邀请到一位来宾 |
| [07:45] | – Yes. – First time he’s joined us. | -是的 -今天是他第一次来做客 |
| [07:46] | He’s a comedian, but he’s a Christian comedian. | 他是个喜剧演员 不过信基督 |
| [07:49] | Yeah, can you think about that? | 你们想想 |
| [07:50] | That’s like a Christian stripper. | 就好比是个基督脱衣舞娘 |
| [07:54] | – Well, you know, it– – Let’s welcome Pete Holmes. Pete. | -你懂的 -欢迎皮特·福尔摩斯 |
| [07:57] | Thank you. Thank you. | 谢谢你 谢谢你 |
| [07:58] | You gotta help me out. I can’t wrap my head around | 你得帮帮我 我根本没法理解 |
| [08:00] | Christian comedian. What’s going on with that? | 基督喜剧演员 到底是怎么回事 |
| [08:02] | Oh, you know, it’s, uh– | 就是 |
| [08:03] | I’m here for the Good Faith Variety Tour. | 我为了真诚信仰巡演来的 |
| [08:06] | Uh, we have ventriloquists, we have musicians. | 我们有口技艺人 有音乐家 |
| [08:08] | – It’s a great, great show. – Cool, cool. | -非常棒的演出 -好极了 |
| [08:09] | We have a game we like to play | 有一个游戏我们特别爱玩 |
| [08:10] | where we figure out your porno name. | 给彼此取个色情艺名 |
| [08:12] | Ooh, yeah, he’s gonna be really good at this, Lester. | 他肯定很擅长 莱斯特 |
| [08:15] | I don’t know if I want to– | 我不知道 |
| [08:16] | It’s really easy. The ground rules are as follows. | 很简单 基本规则如下 |
| [08:18] | All we need is the name of the street you grew up on | 我们只需要你长大的街区名 |
| [08:21] | and the nickname you have for your junk. | 你给自己生殖器取的名字 |
| [08:23] | And you put that together, that’s your porno name. | 结合在一起就是你的色情艺名 |
| [08:25] | – I don’t know… – This is good. | -我不知道 -有意思 |
| [08:26] | You’re gonna like this. I’m Oak Thundernuggins. | 你会喜欢的 我叫橡树街雷屌 |
| [08:29] | Yeah, and I’m Pleasant Clambake. | 我叫快活蛤蜊 |
| [08:31] | I mean, I don’t really… | 我不太 |
| [08:35] | Bloomfield… | 布洛姆菲尔德 |
| [08:37] | Testes. | 睾丸 |
| [08:38] | – That works. I like that. – Oh Lord. | -不错 我喜欢 -我的天 |
| [08:41] | – Can I say testes on the radio? – You did. It’s great. | -我能在广播里说睾丸吗 -你已经说了 |
| [08:44] | Tell us more about your show. | 再介绍一下这个演出吧 |
| [08:47] | – There’s singing, there’s music. – Okay, but what about praying? | -有唱有跳 -有祷告的环节吗 |
| [08:50] | This is what I’ve always wanted to know. Do you pray? | 我一直想知道 你祷告吗 |
| [08:54] | Yeah, I pray. | 我祷告 |
| [08:55] | But what about, like during the show? | 在演出中祷告吗 |
| [08:59] | Nobody prays during the show. | 没人会在演出中祷告 |
| [09:01] | No, there’s no prayer in the show. | 演出中没有祷告者 |
| [09:03] | It’s just a show, it’s a regular show. | 就是很普通的演出 |
| [09:05] | But, you know, I pray before the show. | 但我在演出前祷告 |
| [09:06] | – Did you pray before this show? – I did. | -你在上这个节目前祷告了吗 -是的 |
| [09:09] | How’s that working? | 有效果吗 |
| [09:10] | I hope it’s going okay. | 希望一切还算顺利 |
| [09:12] | I– I mean, I pray before the show because I’m grateful. | 我在演出前祷告因为我很感恩 |
| [09:16] | I’m really grateful that I feel like I found my new family, | 我很感恩找到了一个新家庭 |
| [09:19] | and to be part of a tour that’s, uh, bigger– | 参与这个巡演 |
| [09:22] | bigger than myself, and… | 非常重要的舞台 |
| [09:24] | …and to be in the joy business. | 还能进入喜剧行业 |
| [09:25] | And when I’m on stage, I really feel God working through me, | 当我在舞台上 我感到上帝在指引我 |
| [09:28] | and that’s a really exciting feeling. | 感觉太棒了 |
| [09:30] | – Something that I’m very passionate about. – That’s my boy. | -我对此非常有热情 -我请的 |
| [09:32] | – Well, Hallelujah? Hallelujah! – Hallelujah, yeah. | -哈利路亚 哈利路亚 -哈利路亚 |
| [09:36] | Hey, I’m getting a note here. Our other guest is here. | 我收到消息 其他嘉宾到了 |
| [09:38] | You wanna bring her in? | 你带她进来好吗 |
| [09:39] | – Yeah, maybe she can help make sense of all of this. – Oh, please. | -也许她能帮我们解释一下 -是啊 |
| [09:41] | So, she’s a regular. Whenever she’s in town, | 她是常客 每次她来城里 |
| [09:44] | she loves to come by and we love to have her. | 都喜欢来这 我们也很喜欢她 |
| [09:46] | Ladies and gentlemen, Jessica Kirson is here. | 女士们先生们 欢迎杰西卡·科森 |
| [09:48] | – She’s here now– – Here she is. | -她来了 -她来了 |
| [09:50] | – Here she is. Look at her. – I know you. | -她来了 看看她 -我知道你 |
| [09:53] | I know you! How are you? | 我知道你 你好啊 |
| [09:54] | – How you doing? – Nice to see you. | -你好啊 -很高兴认识你 |
| [09:55] | Oh, really? You two know each other? | 真的吗 你们认识 |
| [09:57] | Yeah, we’re comics from New York, so we all know each other. | 我们都是纽约的喜剧演员 所以认识 |
| [10:00] | – Oh, no kidding? – Plus, we go to the same lesbian hair stylist. | -不是吧 -而且我们去同一家女同发廊 |
| [10:04] | It’s true. | 是真的 |
| [10:05] | Nice to have you here. I love that you stop by | 很高兴你能来 每次你来城里都会来 |
| [10:06] | every time you come through town. How are you doing? | 我很高兴 你最近怎么样 |
| [10:08] | – Oh, I’m exhausted right now. – Sure. | -我累坏了 -是啊 |
| [10:11] | But I’m very grateful that you had me on, | 我很感激你们邀请了我 |
| [10:13] | and hopefully, like, two more people | 希望能有两三个人 |
| [10:14] | will come to my show because of it. | 因为这个节目来看我的演出 |
| [10:15] | – Let’s shoot for three. Big time. – Let’s do it. | -希望有三个 -没错 |
| [10:18] | You’re always full of jokes, Lester. | 你总是妙趣横生 莱斯特 |
| [10:21] | I hate that hat. | 我讨厌那顶帽子 |
| [10:23] | You’ve always hated my hat. | 你一直都讨厌我的帽子 |
| [10:24] | It’s horrible. I mean, it really, it looks like, | 很难看 看上去真的像 |
| [10:26] | like an old bra of mine from the ’70s. | 我70年代的旧胸罩 |
| [10:29] | – It’s like a dog toy. – Is it too early for you to do a character? | -像狗玩具 -现在让你表演是不是太早了 |
| [10:31] | Oh, she’s gotta do one. Jessica, you’re so good. | 得让她演一个 杰西卡 你太棒了 |
| [10:33] | – Really? I mean, I don’t– – Yes! We love them! | -是吗 我不… -是的 我们很喜欢 |
| [10:36] | Okay, I mean… | 好吧 |
| [10:37] | Could you do the annoying white girl? It’s my favorite. | 你能表演哪个烦人的白人女孩吗 我特喜欢 |
| [10:40] | No, it’s not too early. | 不 不算早了 |
| [10:41] | I’ll do it anytime, | 我随时都可以 |
| [10:41] | because if it’s gonna sell tickets, I’ll really do it, | 只要能卖座 我就愿意演 |
| [10:43] | because I just want people to show up that are gonna buy tickets. | 因为我就希望大家来买票 |
| [10:45] | Like, seriously, that’s all I care about is | 说真的 我唯一关心的 |
| [10:46] | that people buy tickets. | 就是卖座 |
| [10:52] | Oh, I wish we could go on, but we gotta go to break. | 我很希望我们能继续 但是要休息一下了 |
| [10:56] | I wanna thank you guys for showing up. | 非常感谢你们来上节目 |
| [10:58] | Jessica Kirson tonight at Theater 99, | 杰西卡·科森今晚在查尔斯顿市中心的 |
| [11:00] | downtown Charleston. Tickets still available? | 99号剧院演出 还有票吗 |
| [11:02] | – Yes! – And Pete Holmes… of the Good Faith Variety Show, | -有 -真诚信仰巡演的皮特·福尔摩斯 |
| [11:05] | this afternoon at 6 P.M. | 今晚6点有演出 |
| [11:06] | That’s at the United Fellowship Church. Check it out. | 地点在联合团契教会 欢迎前往观看 |
| [11:09] | We gotta go to break, we’ll be back. Thank you, guys! | 先休息一下 一会儿见 谢谢 |
| [11:11] | – We’re back after this. – Thank you! | -稍后回来 -谢谢 |
| [11:13] | Guys, that was great. Really funny stuff. Thank you so much. | 太棒了 非常搞笑 非常感谢 |
| [11:16] | Hey, do you want to go get something to eat? | 吃点东西吗 |
| [11:18] | I would love to. | 好啊 |
| [11:41] | – You want hot sauce? – No, thank you. | -你要辣酱吗 -不要 谢谢 |
| [11:45] | Fucking good. | 太好吃了 |
| [11:48] | Yeah, it really is. | 是的 特别好吃 |
| [11:51] | So, Christian show? | 教会演出 |
| [11:55] | – Okay, listen, it’s like– – I’m not judging you at all. | -其实… -我没有批判的意思 |
| [11:58] | It’s just, the last time I saw you, | 只不过我上次看见你的时候 |
| [12:00] | you were with a tall blonde, | 你跟一个高个金发姑娘在一起 |
| [12:01] | schlepping around a huge bag of dildos. | 拎着一大袋子假鸡鸡 |
| [12:04] | Yeah, I’m, you know, branching out. | 是的 我现在在扩展业务 |
| [12:06] | Some nights, I’m dildo Santa Claus, | 有时我晚上是送假鸡鸡的圣诞老人 |
| [12:08] | other nights, I do, you know, Christian shows. | 有时我晚上在教会演出 |
| [12:10] | I have no problem with dildos or blondes. | 我对假鸡鸡和金发姑娘没什么意见 |
| [12:13] | I just didn’t know you were religious like that. | 我只是不知道你有宗教信仰 |
| [12:16] | I’m– I’m not. I… | 我 我不是 |
| [12:18] | I mean, I… | 其实 |
| [12:20] | That’s how I was raised, and… | 我就是这么长大的 |
| [12:24] | It’s so nice. | 挺好的 |
| [12:25] | It’s so nice. You should see. | 真的挺好的 你应该看看 |
| [12:27] | We have a tour bus, we get our own bunks. | 我们有巡演巴士 自己的床铺 |
| [12:30] | I play big theaters now with fans and… | 我现在在大剧院演出 有粉丝 |
| [12:32] | – Awesome. – …sign autographs. | -不错啊 -签签名 |
| [12:34] | Everybody’s friendly. | 大家都很友善 |
| [12:36] | And the money, I mean… | 还挣钱 |
| [12:39] | Listen, you don’t have to sell me. | 你不用跟我推销自己 |
| [12:42] | I totally get it, but now I’m dying to know | 我明白 不过我现在非常想知道 |
| [12:45] | how much money? | 到底能赚多少钱 |
| [12:46] | It’s a thousand dollars a show. | 一场演出一千块 |
| [12:48] | I would sell my soul to Jesus for that. | 要是我 把灵魂卖给耶稣都行 |
| [12:52] | He doesn’t buy souls. | 他不买灵魂 |
| [12:54] | – The devil– – I don’t know him at all. | -魔鬼买 -我跟他一点都不熟 |
| [12:55] | It’s either fiddle contests or cash with the devil. | 跟魔鬼做交易 要么比小提琴要么给现金 |
| [12:57] | – Got it. – But Jesus, it’s just a handshake agreement. | -明白了 -但是跟耶稣 就是个口头协议 |
| [13:00] | He just says, “Welcome aboard,” and then you’re good. | 他就说一句”欢迎加入” 然后就没事了 |
| [13:02] | – Okay. – I don’t know, | -好的 -我不太确定 |
| [13:03] | I thought you would think I’m a sellout. | 我以为你觉得我没有原则 |
| [13:04] | I kind of feel like a– Am I? | 我有点 对吗 |
| [13:06] | No, I don’t– I would never think that. | 不 我不会那么想 |
| [13:08] | You’re a fucking entertainer. | 你是个很棒的演员 |
| [13:10] | If you’re making money, good money, then you should do it. | 如果你能正经赚钱 那就无可厚非 |
| [13:15] | That’s such a relief. When you walked into the radio station, | 那我就放心了 你走进电台的时候 |
| [13:18] | I felt like I was getting busted by the cool kids. | 我以为我要被酷孩子戳破了 |
| [13:21] | I thought you were gonna report back to The Cellar | 我以为你要向酒窖举报 |
| [13:22] | what a fucking phoney– | 这个大骗子 |
| [13:24] | No, I am the last person that would ever judge you for that. | 不 我不会那么说你的 |
| [13:28] | I was just in Israel. | 我以前在以色列 |
| [13:29] | I did shows for ultra-Orthodox people, | 给极端东正教的人表演节目 |
| [13:32] | and, I mean, do you think I told them | 你觉得我会告诉他们 |
| [13:34] | that I’m a lesbian or that, you know, | 我是个同性恋 |
| [13:36] | I have a kid or that I’m not religious? | 我有一个孩子 我没有信仰 |
| [13:39] | No, I just keep it to myself and I make the money. | 不 我就守口如瓶赚我的钱 |
| [13:42] | I’m a business person. | 我是个生意人 |
| [13:43] | You don’t feel like a sellout? | 你不觉得自己没原则吗 |
| [13:45] | No. I don’t do anything that will keep me up at night. | 不 我不会做让我夜不能寐的事 |
| [13:49] | Everyone needs to just decide what line they won’t cross, | 每个人需要决定自己的底线 |
| [13:52] | and you need to decide that for yourself. | 你也要为自己决定一个底线 |
| [13:56] | I don’t know. I’m overthinking it. | 我不知道 我想太多了 |
| [13:58] | I think you are, too. | 我也觉得 |
| [14:00] | Listen, you’re making 50 dollars a minute. | 你每分钟赚五十块 |
| [14:02] | I mean, who gives a shit what anyone thinks? | 管别人怎么想呢 |
| [14:06] | Yeah. Why don’t you complain to the line cook, | 你怎么不跟帮厨的抱怨 |
| [14:08] | and let him fucking fry your hand? | 让他炸了你的手 |
| [14:13] | You’re paying for this. | 你就是干这行的 |
| [14:14] | Oh, thank you. Everything was incredible. | 谢谢 一切都太完美了 |
| [14:17] | Jesus has this one covered. | 耶稣救赎了他 |
| [14:24] | Oh my God! | 天啊 |
| [14:26] | Look! | 你看 |
| [14:28] | Look at all these tchotchkes. | 看看这些小摆件 |
| [14:30] | What? A bunch of tchotchkes? | 什么 一堆小摆件 |
| [14:37] | – Can I ask you something? – Sure. | -我能问个问题吗 -当然 |
| [14:40] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [14:41] | – It’s a lesbian question. – Of course it is. | -是个女同的问题 -当然 |
| [14:44] | I love when straight, white men use me as Dyke Google. | 我特别喜欢白直男拿我当女同谷歌 |
| [14:48] | I’m just curious. It’s like, do lesbians care about… | 我就是好奇 女同在乎 |
| [14:54] | …tightness? | 紧不紧吗 |
| [14:56] | Do you sit around and go, “I went on a date. | 你们坐在一起会聊”我遇见了一个人 |
| [14:57] | Oh, she was so– she was so tight?” | 她特别 她特别紧” |
| [15:00] | No! | 不会 |
| [15:01] | No, I mean, we’re– | 不 我们… |
| [15:03] | I feel like men are so obsessed with the grip. | 我觉得男人特别痴迷于紧致 |
| [15:07] | I– I could care less. | 我没那么在乎 |
| [15:08] | In fact, the more open and wide it is, | 事实上 越放松越宽大 |
| [15:10] | the more I just put in there, you know, like a toe or a foot. | 我放进入的也就越多 一个脚趾或一只脚 |
| [15:13] | – Oh my God. – My cat. | -天啊 -我的猫 |
| [15:15] | – Oh, God. – Just shove everything in. | -天啊 -什么都往里塞 |
| [15:18] | – Yeah. The remote. – Yeah. | -嗯 遥控器 -对 |
| [15:24] | I know this is weird to say, but that horse has a great ass. | 我知道这么说很奇怪 但这匹马的屁股不错 |
| [15:28] | He does a lot of cardio. | 他确实做了很多有氧运动 |
| [15:32] | This is me coming up. | 我到了 |
| [15:35] | This was fun, really fun. | 跟你聊天很开心 特别开心 |
| [15:38] | I… obviously didn’t expect to run into anyone I knew, so… | 我没想到会遇见熟人 |
| [15:42] | It was great for me. Thank you. | 我也很开心 谢谢你 |
| [15:44] | I would’ve sat in my hotel room all day and night. | 不然我就整天待在酒店了 |
| [15:47] | Me, too. Just waiting for the show. | 我也是 就等着演出 |
| [15:49] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [15:51] | – I will see you around. – Yes. | -回头见 -回见 |
| [15:54] | With your thing, do what you want on stage, | 你在台上想怎么演就怎么演 |
| [15:57] | just make sure that | 只要不是 |
| [15:59] | you’re not funnier offstage than you are onstage. | 台上还没平时搞笑就行了 |
| [16:06] | Thanks. | 多谢 |
| [16:11] | – Bye, Jessie. – Bye. | -拜 杰西 -拜 |
| [16:29] | 凯特 抱歉 最近一团糟 马上给我打电话 | |
| [16:41] | – Sounds really good. – Thanks, Pete. | -真的很好听 -谢谢 皮特 |
| [16:43] | Hey, so you guys got my e-mail about the schedule change, right? | 你们收到我更改日程的邮件了吧 |
| [16:46] | – Yeah, thanks. – Great. | -收到了 谢谢 -好 |
| [16:50] | How was breakfast? | 早餐怎么样 |
| [16:51] | It was wonderful. You should’ve come. | 很不错 你应该也来的 |
| [16:53] | Oh, well, your friend is a little too… | 你的朋友对我来说… |
| [16:57] | New York-y for my taste. | 太纽约化了 欣赏不来 |
| [16:59] | – Yeah, um… – But interesting. | -好吧 -不过很有趣 |
| [17:03] | Yeah, she’s– she’s from New Jersey, I think. | 她好像是新泽西人 |
| [17:08] | But, yeah. | 不过 好吧 |
| [17:09] | Knock ’em dead. | 博得观众喜欢 |
| [17:14] | I love the Bible. | 我喜欢《圣经》 |
| [17:16] | I love the Bible, I really do. | 真的喜欢 |
| [17:17] | And my whole life, people have been debating | 我从小到大一直听人争论 |
| [17:18] | whether or not the Bible is a story or if it’s literally true. | 《圣经》到底是虚构的故事还是真事 |
| [17:22] | And I always said the same thing, I’m like, what’s the difference? | 我一直就说 这有区别吗 |
| [17:25] | I mean this. What’s the difference? | 我是认真的 到底有什么区别 |
| [17:27] | If that book takes you to that place | 如果这本书带你去到 |
| [17:30] | of grace and peace and love | 那个充满恩典和平与爱 |
| [17:33] | and thinking of something bigger than yourself, | 让你不再只局限于自身的地方 |
| [17:35] | who cares? | 谁在乎啊 |
| [17:36] | Just get there, baby. Just get there, who cares? | 那就去啊 宝贝 那就去 谁在乎 |
| [17:38] | I don’t care. I don’t want to debate. | 我不在乎 我不想争论 |
| [17:40] | Right? | 对吧 |
| [17:43] | But… | 不过… |
| [17:45] | I will say | 我要说 |
| [17:46] | that there are some things in the Bible | 《圣经》里有些事 |
| [17:48] | that I hope aren’t literally true. | 我希望并不是真人真事 |
| [17:52] | I hope some parts are myths. | 我希望有些只是虚构 |
| [17:54] | I think you know what parts I’m talking about. | 我想你们知道我在说哪些部分 |
| [17:56] | Uh, Abraham and Isaac. | 亚伯拉罕和以撒 |
| [17:59] | Genesis 22. | 《创世纪》22章 |
| [18:01] | I think you know the story. | 我想你们都知道这个故事 |
| [18:02] | God tells Abraham to kill his son. | 上帝要亚伯拉罕杀死自己的儿子 |
| [18:05] | Abraham– look it up– goes, “Okay!” | 亚伯拉罕就说”好的” 不信你们查 |
| [18:10] | So he wakes up Isaac. “Where are we going?” | 然后他把以撒叫醒 “我们要去哪” |
| [18:12] | “Who cares? It doesn’t matter.” | “谁在乎呢 这并不重要” |
| [18:14] | Two men are gonna go in, one comes back. | 两个人去 一个人回 |
| [18:17] | “Daddy doesn’t need to tell you the details, honey. | “爸爸不需要告诉你细节 亲爱的 |
| [18:19] | This is the end.” | 一切要结束了” |
| [18:21] | Wakes up Isaac, takes him to a mountain so God can see. | 叫醒以撒 带他到山上让上帝能看到 |
| [18:25] | He’s like a voyeur, like a snuff film. | 他就像个偷窥狂 就像虐杀电影一样 |
| [18:29] | God wants to see Abraham do it, | 上帝想看到亚伯拉罕动手 |
| [18:31] | and then he’s gonna kill him and then he doesn’t. | 他准备动手杀 然后又没有 |
| [18:33] | I hope that is not literally true. | 我希望这并不是真事 |
| [18:36] | If that’s just a story that they tell us | 如果这只是个讲给我们听的故事 |
| [18:38] | so that we know, oh, you’re supposed to give up everything for God, | 让我们知道要把一切奉献给上帝 |
| [18:41] | no matter what, no matter how attached you are to it, | 不论如何 不论你多么喜欢那东西 |
| [18:43] | that’s beautiful. | 这是个美好的故事 |
| [18:44] | Otherwise, | 不然 |
| [18:45] | that’s just a story about an old man | 这就是一个老男人 |
| [18:47] | who hears voices that tell him to kill his son. | 听到幻声要他杀死自己儿子的故事 |
| [18:51] | And he was gonna do it! | 而且他真的准备动手 |
| [18:53] | He was going to do it. | 他真的准备动手 |
| [18:55] | He had the knife up in the air, | 他已经举起了刀子 |
| [18:57] | and he heard another voice, thank God. | 他又听到另一个声音 感谢上帝 |
| [18:59] | What would he have done if he hadn’t heard the voice? | 要是他没听到这个声音会做出什么 |
| [19:01] | It just would’ve been… | 就会是… |
| [19:05] | Do you love me now? | 你现在爱我了吗 |
| [19:12] | That’s nuts. | 太疯狂了 |
| [19:15] | Here’s another Bible story. | 还有另一个《圣经》故事 |
| [19:17] | King David in the Bible met a woman, he wanted to marry her, | 《圣经》中大卫王遇到一个女人 想要娶她 |
| [19:21] | and the father of that woman said, “You can marry my daughter, | 那个女人的父亲说”你可以娶我女儿 |
| [19:24] | but first…” this is real– | 不过首先…” 这是真的哦 |
| [19:26] | you have to bring me a hundred foreskins.” | “你得给我带来一百个包皮” |
| [19:29] | What?! | 什么 |
| [19:30] | That’s the correct response, sir. | 你这反应就对了 先生 |
| [19:32] | Everyone who didn’t go, “What?!” is wrong. | 不喊”什么”都没道理 |
| [19:36] | “What?!” is the– | 大呼”什么”才是… |
| [19:37] | When I read it, I went, “What?!” that’s– | 我读到时就大喊”什么” 那可是… |
| [19:39] | “A hundred foreskins for my daughter.” | “一百个包皮就可以娶我女儿” |
| [19:44] | Look this up, it’s true. | 查查《圣经》 这是真的 |
| [19:45] | David goes, “I’ll make it 200 hundred.” | 大卫就说”我带两百个” |
| [19:49] | Pardon the expression, but he was cocky. | 请原谅我的用词 他有点自大[阴茎]了 |
| [19:53] | He found 200 dudes he hated, | 他找到两百个他讨厌的男人 |
| [19:57] | he killed them, and snip-snip. | 杀死他们 然后咔嚓咔嚓 |
| [19:59] | Put it in a box, brought it back to the dad, | 放进盒子里 带去给那位父亲 |
| [20:02] | and the dad was like, “Oh, good! | 那位父亲就说”不错啊 |
| [20:05] | You did what I asked.” And then he had to count. | 你达成了我的要求” 他还要数一遍 |
| [20:08] | He had to make sure there was 200. | 他要确保确实是两百个 |
| [20:10] | He was like, “Uh, one… | 他就这样”一个 |
| [20:12] | uh, two… | 两个 |
| [20:14] | uh, three… | 三个 |
| [20:16] | uh, fo– Oh, nice try. That’s an eyelid.” | 四… 休想蒙混 这是眼皮” |
| [20:22] | Thank you guys so much. | 非常感谢你们 |
| [20:24] | I really mean that. This is so much fun. | 真心的 真的很欢乐 |
| [20:26] | Good night! | 晚安 |
| [20:32] | Great show, guys. | 演出很棒 |
| [20:39] | Pete. | 皮特 |
| [20:42] | You know I have to fire you, right? | 你知道我必须让你走人吧 |
| [20:45] | Yeah, I figured. | 我猜到了 |
| [20:49] | You know why we call this the Good Faith Variety Tour? | 你知道这为什么叫”真诚信仰巡演”吗 |
| [20:54] | Because people buy their tickets in good faith, | 因为人们是怀着真诚信仰买票的 |
| [20:57] | and you pissed all over that. | 你却尿在上面了 |
| [21:01] | You said “pissed.” | 你说了”尿” |
| [21:03] | Hilarious. | 真好笑 |
| [21:11] | – John. – What’s up, man? | -约翰 -怎么了 |
| [21:14] | Uh, I’m off the tour. | 我不能再演出了 |
| [21:17] | I mean, I’m not surprised. | 我不惊讶 |
| [21:18] | I mean, that stabbing noise was messed up. | 你模仿的捅刀声一团糟 |
| [21:21] | I don’t know, man. I just don’t know if I can grow here. | 我不确定我在这里会不会有前途 |
| [21:24] | I need to be in the open fields, | 我需要开放 |
| [21:27] | running and talking about asses. | 奔跑 谈论屁股 |
| [21:29] | I– It’s just a little suffocating here right now. | 在这里有点窒息 |
| [21:32] | I think you’re so good at it. | 我觉得你特别擅长这个 |
| [21:34] | Nah, I mean– | 不… |
| [21:35] | to each his own, you know? | 萝卜青菜各有所爱 |
| [21:37] | I guess God has a different plan for all of us, man, you know? | 看来上帝给每个人安排了不同的人生 |
| [21:40] | Maybe it wasn’t in his plan for you to make $1,000 a night. | 或许在他计划中你不该一晚赚一千 |
| [21:44] | It’s like, okay, thank you for that. | 好吧 感谢 |
| [21:47] | Oh, that’s salt in the wound? Thank you. | 真是伤口上撒盐 多谢了 |
| [21:50] | – Look me up, man. This was fun. – All right. | -要来看我啊 和你一起挺开心 -好的 |
| [21:52] | – I’m gonna miss you. – I’ll miss you, too, man. | -我会想你的 -我也会想你的 |
| [21:54] | Bye. | 再见 |
| [21:56] | Oh, Pete. Good luck with Kat, man. | 皮特 祝你和凯特的事顺利 |
| [21:59] | Thanks, man. | 谢了 |
| [22:01] | See ya. | 再见 |
| [22:52] | Why do you look like a realtor on a bench ad? | 为什么你长得像长凳广告上的地产经纪 |
| [22:54] | I have some properties I’d like to show you. | 有几处房子你可以看看 |
| [22:58] | She said I was ghosting her, so I agreed to sit down. | 她说我在玩消失 所以我同意坐下聊聊 |
| [23:02] | Were you ghosting her? | 那你有玩消失吗 |
| [23:04] | No, I don’t– I didn’t, you know, reply to her. | 没有 我没有 我没回她 |
| [23:09] | That’s the definition of ghosting. | 这就是玩消失 |
| [23:12] | I’m not good with confrontation, okay, but she… | 我不是很擅长对峙 但她 |
| [23:15] | insisted. | 坚持 |
| [23:17] | Fucking hell. | 真是操了 |
| [23:18] | Well, you’re gonna have to have some kind | 你总得找她 |
| [23:20] | of official break-up conversation. | 正式谈分手吧 |
| [23:21] | Are you gonna sit her down and do it? | 你准备跟她坐下来好好谈了吗 |
| [23:23] | – No, we broke up. – Okay. | -不 我们已经分手了 -好吧 |
| [23:24] | We know we broke up. | 我们知道我们已经分手了 |
| [23:25] | She just wants an exit interview. | 她只是想要场分手谈话[离职谈话] |
| [23:28] | Is that what you’re calling it? An exit interview? | 你是这么说的吗 分手谈话 |
| [23:29] | – She called it that. – That’s what they do at Applebee’s | -是她起的名 -苹果蜂餐厅员工被炒鱿鱼 |
| [23:32] | when you get fired and you wanna sit down with the manager | 需要跟经理坐下来谈话 |
| [23:35] | – and go over what happened. – That’s what we’re doing. | -谈谈原因 -我们也是 |
| [23:37] | We’re reviewing my performance in a relationship. It’s not– | 我们要评估我在这段恋情中的表现 这不是 |
| [23:41] | You know what? That is a good tag. | 你知道吗 这是个不错的梗 |
| [23:42] | So I’ll use that, and that was a great tag, so… | 我就用那个了 那是个很不错的梗 |
| [23:46] | – Thank you. – I’m gonna Venmo you for that, | -谢谢 -我要买下来 |
| [23:47] | because that was– that’s gonna be hilarious. | 这个梗会很好笑的 |
| [24:04] | I’m sorry I– on the phone, I haven’t been the best at, um– | 很抱歉 我没回你短信 |
| [24:08] | Yeah, I know you’re scared. I get it. | 我知道你害怕了 我明白 |
| [24:12] | Listen, we’re both adults, | 我们都是成年人了 |
| [24:14] | so we can talk about what happened | 我们可以好好聊聊这件事 |
| [24:16] | and then we can both move on. | 然后就能向前看了 |
| [24:18] | But we should be real about this, and we’ll clean it up, and… | 但我们应该坦诚一点 把事情说清楚 |
| [24:23] | – be adults. – Absolutely. | -成熟点 -当然 |
| [24:26] | Why do you think we shouldn’t be together? | 你为什么觉得我们不能在一起了 |
| [24:29] | You literal– that– you want me to lay it out? | 你真的想让我说出来吗 |
| [24:31] | Yeah, ’cause I know what happened. | 是的 因为我知道是怎么回事 |
| [24:33] | I know exactly what happened, but I want to hear | 我很清楚是怎么回事 但我想听听 |
| [24:35] | what you think happened. | 你是怎么想的 |
| [24:40] | I just– I just think… | 我就是觉得 |
| [24:42] | you’re so advanced | 你太超前 |
| [24:45] | and complex and intelligent | 太复杂太聪明 |
| [24:48] | and sharp, and I’m just– | 太犀利了 我有点 |
| [24:50] | I’m like an embryo compared to you. | 跟你相比我就像个胚胎 |
| [24:53] | It’s, it’s, it’s– you’re out of my league. | 我配不上你 |
| [24:55] | I’m in over my head. | 我受不了了 |
| [24:57] | And you deserve to be with someone who loves you | 你应该跟一个爱你 |
| [25:00] | for who you are who can handle that. | 和你门当户对的人在一起 |
| [25:03] | I was overwhelmed. | 我不知所措 |
| [25:05] | That is such bullshit. | 一派胡言 |
| [25:07] | That is such a cop-out. | 都是借口 |
| [25:09] | You are just lying through your fucking teeth, | 你简直是睁着眼睛说瞎话 |
| [25:12] | and I want you to tell me the truth | 我要听真相 |
| [25:13] | and tell me what really is going on here. | 告诉我你真实的想法 |
| [25:18] | I don’t see what the point of, you know, | 我不觉得深究我的负面情绪 |
| [25:20] | dredging any negative experience up. I’m– | 有什么意义 |
| [25:23] | No, breaking up with somebody | 不 跟别人分手 |
| [25:24] | and then just not talking to them and avoiding them is super weak. | 然后再也不理人 逃避对方弱爆了 |
| [25:28] | That’s a lame fucking move and it’s weak. | 这个行为很逊 很没种 |
| [25:30] | You’re weak, Pete. | 你没种 皮特 |
| [25:32] | Kitty, I’m not, you know, I’m not– | 凯蒂 我不是 |
| [25:33] | I’m sorry I’m not the person that has sex in dressing rooms | 很抱歉我不是一个可以跟你在更衣室做爱 |
| [25:36] | and then fucks loud enough for my mother to hear. | 叫得很大声 让我妈听到的人 |
| [25:39] | It’s not– those aren’t my moves. | 这不是我会做的事 |
| [25:41] | Okay, stop it. Stop. | 别说了 住嘴 |
| [25:42] | You keep on talking about this like | 你说起这件事 |
| [25:44] | you’re some little innocent choir boy | 就像个无辜的唱诗班小男孩 |
| [25:46] | and all these things just happened to you | 而你做的事 |
| [25:48] | and you were at the mercy of this fucking trollop | 都是被我这个荡妇逼的 |
| [25:51] | who forced you into doing crazy shit. | 是我逼你做了一些不可理喻的事 |
| [25:54] | Because I’m a wild one, and I buy dildos, | 因为我很浪 我会买假鸡鸡 |
| [25:58] | and I’m really shaking things up for you. | 我改变了你的生活 |
| [26:01] | But you were a part of it, Pete. | 但是这些事你也有份 皮特 |
| [26:02] | You were a part of every single part of this relationship. | 这段感情中每一件事你都脱不了干系 |
| [26:04] | You were behind everything, | 所有事都有你的份 |
| [26:06] | and you were behind me when you were fucking me in a dressing room. | 更衣室在我身后操我的也是你 |
| [26:09] | – I… – So why did you do it? | -我… -你为什么要做 |
| [26:10] | Was it for the jokes? Was it for the sex? | 是为了找梗吗 还是为了性 |
| [26:13] | What, you needed someone to cheer you on in your career? | 还是需要有个人来为你的事业加油 |
| [26:15] | – No! – You used me. | -不是 -你利用了我 |
| [26:18] | And the second you missed your ex-girlfriend, | 所以你一开始想念你的前女友 |
| [26:20] | you got a little bored with me | 对我有点厌倦的时候 |
| [26:22] | and you started to think, I want out. | 你就开始想 我想退出 |
| [26:27] | You know what? | 知道吗 |
| [26:29] | In ten years, you’re gonna regret this so much, | 十年后 你会后悔不已 |
| [26:32] | and I’m gonna realize that I dodged a fucking bullet. | 我也会发现自己算是逃过了一劫 |
| [26:52] | Ugh, how’d it go? | 怎么样了 |
| [26:55] | Not good. | 不太好 |
| [26:57] | What the fuck just happened? | 怎么回事 |
| [26:58] | It– that was, uh, that was my girlfriend. | 那是我的女朋友 |
| [27:01] | Oh my gosh! Oh, Petey! | 天呐 皮特 |
| [27:03] | Never in a million years did I think that was your girlfriend. | 我做梦也想不到那是你女朋友 |
| [27:07] | Are you a comic? | 你是个喜剧演员吗 |
| [27:08] | – Yeah. – Hi, Amy. | -是的 -我是艾米 |
| [27:10] | – Hi, I’m a big fan. – Nice to meet you. | -我是你的忠实粉丝 -很高兴认识你 |
| [27:12] | It didn’t visually make sense to me. | 从外表上看 她不可能是你女友 |
| [27:14] | If, you know, if we’re gonna be shallow about it. | 如果只说外表的话 |
| [27:17] | She was like an eleven. | 她差不多有11分 |
| [27:18] | She was wildly hot. The fact that you were gently dumping her | 她太辣了 你把她甩了 |
| [27:21] | – is infuriating. – Whoa, he dumped her? | -太让人生气了 -是他甩人家 |
| [27:23] | Yes, he was softly letting her go. | 是的 他婉转地跟她分手了 |
| [27:25] | You’re lucky she let you flop around on top of her. | 她让你上她 是你八辈子修来的福气 |
| [27:28] | Why did you break up with that beautiful, hip-looking girl? | 你为什么要跟那个漂亮的潮妞分手 |
| [27:31] | Was she trying to make you cut your hair… | 是因为她逼你去剪头发 |
| [27:34] | into an attractive style? | 留个帅发型吗 |
| [27:37] | You grew up without sisters, that’s the thing. | 你没有姐妹 问题就出在这 |
| [27:39] | – He does seem like that. – He needed sisters. | -确实 -他需要姐妹 |
| [27:41] | He does seem like the guy who has to leave a date | 他看上去是像那种因为扭着蛋 |
| [27:43] | ’cause he twisted a testicle. | 约会到一半先走的人 |
| [27:45] | Oh yeah, like he needs to go home and address it. | 对 他需要回家把蛋蛋掰回去 |
| [27:47] | I wish I could break up with you. | 真希望我可以跟你分次手 |
| [27:50] | I’m jealous of that girl. | 我真羡慕那个妹子 |
| [27:52] | Not just ’cause, like, she’s so thin and beautiful, | 不仅因为她又瘦又漂亮 |
| [27:54] | but I hope she has a great life. | 我希望她人生美满 |
| [27:56] | And I think you know you’ll die alone. | 你知道自己会孤独终老吧 |
| [28:00] | I’m so sorry, why are we talking to him? | 很抱歉 我们为什么要跟他说话 |