| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | – Oh my God! Peter! – Sweetest. | -天啊 皮特 -亲爱的 |
| [00:08] | What?! Who is this? | 搞什么 这是谁 |
| [00:10] | I’m sorry, I should have grabbed a bigger towel. | 抱歉 我该拿大点的毛巾的 |
| [00:13] | My wife slept with somebody else today. | 我老婆今天和别人睡了 |
| [00:15] | Oh boy, go write some jokes. | 去写点段子吧 |
| [00:18] | 波士顿喜剧俱乐部 皮特 | |
| [00:19] | Great live comedy tonight. | 今晚有场超棒的现场喜剧秀 |
| [00:20] | I’m going through a divorce, | 我刚经历离婚 |
| [00:21] | I’m kind of floating around. | 有点漂泊不定 |
| [00:22] | – Oh, you’re homeless. – No– | -你无家可归 -不 |
| [00:24] | – Do you have a home? – No… | -那你有家吗 -没有 |
| [00:25] | Don’t put your face in this pillow, | 别把脸靠近这个枕头 |
| [00:27] | bad shit happened to this pillow. | 这枕头不干净 |
| [00:28] | So much of my life, I was afraid of God. | 我人生的大部分时间 都特别害怕上帝 |
| [00:31] | – Maybe I missed out. – Really? You? | -也许我错过了 -真的吗 你 |
| [00:33] | I could use a drink, yeah! | 我很想喝一杯 |
| [00:34] | I think you should take me home. | 你把我带回家呗 |
| [00:40] | You’re the second person in my entire life | 你是我人生中第二个 |
| [00:42] | – I’ve ever made love to. – Oh my God. | -和我上床的人 -天呐 |
| [00:45] | I feel like I sinned. | 我觉得自己有罪 |
| [00:46] | Ooh, sounds to me like you are expanding your mind. | 我听着感觉是你的思维扩展了 |
| [00:49] | The whole point of New York | 这就是纽约的意义所在 |
| [00:50] | is you can like bounce around to different spots. | 你可以穿梭于不同的场子 |
| [00:52] | – He’s funny, right? – He’ll be funny in three years. | -他还挺搞笑的吧 -再努力个三年吧 |
| [00:56] | I’m trying to get into the college market. | 我正在努力进入大学市场 |
| [00:57] | I just submitted a tape to NACA. | 我给校园活动协会寄了录像带 |
| [00:59] | NACA changed my life. I book 80 colleges, | 它改变了我的一生 我签了八十所大学 |
| [01:02] | I haven’t had a real job since. | 我再没有正式工作 |
| [01:03] | NACA! | 校园活动协会 |
| [01:05] | You’ve got six so far, and I’m working on more. | 你目前有六个预约 我在争取更多 |
| [01:07] | You’re my new show pony. | 你是我新的表演小马驹 |
| [01:08] | Roast! Roast! Roast! | 吐槽 吐槽 吐槽 |
| [01:11] | News flash, Pete. Jesus isn’t coming back, | 插播新闻 皮特 耶稣不会回来了 |
| [01:13] | and neither is your wife. | 你老婆也是 |
| [01:15] | I don’t know how I walk away from that | 我不知道我该怎么办 |
| [01:17] | and just forget it. | 怎么忘记你刚才说的话 |
| [01:18] | What kind of comedian can’t take a joke? | 受不了怼还算啥喜剧演员 |
| [01:20] | – I don’t want to date. – Nice. | -我不想跟你约会 -好 |
| [01:24] | I packed up my stuff, I can’t go back to Artie. | 我东西都收拾好了 我不能回去找阿迪 |
| [01:26] | I can’t go back to my roommate. | 我不能回去找我室友 |
| [01:28] | You know what you need to do. You gotta go back to your life. | 你知道你要干嘛吗 你得回到你自己的生活去 |
| [01:30] | Seriously, dude. You gotta get outta here. | 说真的 你得离开这了 |
| [01:32] | – It’s time. – Yeah. | -是时候了 -好 |
| [01:50] | I’m Al Pacino here to tell you | 我是阿尔·帕西诺 我要告诉你们 |
| [01:52] | to take exit 5-0-0. | 请走500出口 |
| [01:57] | 50 5-0. | |
| [02:07] | I, uh, I’m not a big ladies man. | 我不是很受女士欢迎 |
| [02:09] | I don’t even have sex in my dreams– that’s true. | 就算在梦中我也没有机会做爱 真的 |
| [02:12] | I can’t seal the deal in my dreams. | 即使做梦我都搞不定一个女的 |
| [02:15] | I hit on women in real life, they’re like, | 我在真实生活中撩妹的时候 她们一副 |
| [02:17] | “In your dreams,” I’m like, “No.” | “做梦去吧” 我心想”不可能” |
| [02:20] | “Not even there.” | “做梦都没门” |
| [02:33] | You ever just been in your dorm room, watching a movie alone? | 你有没有独自一人在宿舍看电影的经历 |
| [02:36] | It gets really funny, and you’re kind of locked in the movie | 很有意思 你会有点沉浸在电影中 |
| [02:38] | and you forget that you’re by yourself | 忘记了自己是一个人的事实 |
| [02:40] | and you have that first little laugh– | 你第一次笑出来 |
| [02:41] | just you, just like… | 你就是这样的 |
| [02:43] | And then you turn to the friend that should be there. | 你扭头就好像身旁真有个朋友似的 |
| [02:47] | And you’re just… | 接下来你会觉得 |
| [02:51] | “I’m so alone.” | “我好孤单” |
| [02:53] | – Miss Tyree. – Oh, hi. | -我是泰丽老师 -你好 |
| [02:55] | I’m one of the administrators. | 我是管理人员之一 |
| [02:56] | – So nice to meet you. – You were funny, really funny. | -很高兴见到你 -你很幽默 真的很幽默 |
| [02:59] | Well, thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [03:00] | What do you do now? | 你现在有什么事 |
| [03:05] | My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard. | 我的奶昔把所有姑娘都引到院子里来了 |
| [03:07] | And they’re like, “Hey! It’s better than yours”. | 她们一副 “我比你的奶昔还可口” |
| [03:09] | They’re like, “Whoo-ah!”. | 她们真是卯足了劲 |
| [03:15] | When you bring me up, would you just make sure | 你介绍我时 能不能确保 |
| [03:17] | “Pete Holmes” is the last thing you say? | 你的话以”皮特·福尔摩斯”结尾 |
| [03:19] | Just like, “Yadda, yadda, yadda, | 比如”什么 什么 什么 |
| [03:20] | clubs and colleges… Pete Holmes.” | 各个社团和学院 皮特·福尔摩斯” |
| [03:22] | Then I’ll come out. That’s important. | 然后我再出场 这很重要 |
| [03:23] | Okay, but I’m not introducing you. | 好吧 但不是我来介绍你 |
| [03:25] | What? What do you mean? | 什么 什么意思 |
| [03:26] | Last month, we had a student comedy competition | 上个月 我们举行了一个学生喜剧比赛 |
| [03:28] | and first prize was opening for you. | 比赛第一名给你暖场 |
| [03:31] | I have an opener? | 有人给我暖场 |
| [03:41] | What’s up, man? | 你好啊 |
| [03:42] | – Hey, what’s up? – Hey. Pete. | -你好啊 -我是皮特 |
| [03:44] | Yeah. Jaboukie. I saw your YouTube stuff. | 我是杰布克 我看了你的油管视频 |
| [03:46] | – You did? – Yeah, you’re super funny. | -是吗 -是啊 你真是太搞笑了 |
| [03:48] | Oh, I’m so glad we’re doing this. | 我很开心我们能合作 |
| [03:49] | Yeah, I’m super excited that this was able to, like, work out. | 我也超激动能在这里演出 |
| [03:52] | I don’t know if you had a say in anything. | 我不知道这是不是由你决定 |
| [03:54] | No, this was a surprise. | 不 我也是才知道 |
| [03:55] | But this is a good surprise. | 不过挺好的 |
| [03:56] | I’ve been on the road for weeks and weeks. | 我做这个已经很久了 |
| [03:59] | I’m like just– I mean, | 我觉得 |
| [04:00] | it’s great to do a show with another comic. I’m happy… | 和另一个喜剧演员一起演出很棒 我很高兴 |
| [04:02] | I’m not, like, a professional comedian or anything. | 我不是个职业喜剧演员 |
| [04:04] | I’m still kind of new. | 我还是个新人 |
| [04:06] | – How old are you? – I’m 20. | -你多大了 -20岁 |
| [04:09] | Jeez, man… that’s awesome. | 天呐 真厉害 |
| [04:12] | I’m 33. | 我33了 |
| [04:15] | Cool. | 酷 |
| [04:16] | I feel like more straight people should use Grindr. | 我觉得应该让更多异性恋使用基达 |
| [04:22] | If you don’t know what that is, that’s a gay dating app. | 如果你不知道这是什么 这是个同性恋交友应用 |
| [04:26] | just because, like, gay people get a lot of, | 因为同性恋 |
| [04:29] | like, consent talk out of the way, up top, on Grindr, like, | 在基达上撩骚的聊天内容都是这种 |
| [04:33] | “What are you into?” | “你有什么癖好” |
| [04:34] | “When was the last time you were gonna get tested?” | “你上次做艾滋病检查是什么时候” |
| [04:36] | “Are you the top or the bottom? Blah, blah, blah.” | “你是1还是0 诸如此类” |
| [04:38] | We, like, establish a lot up top. | 都是这样撩骚的 |
| [04:39] | But for straight people on dating apps, it’s just sort of like, | 但异性恋在交友应用上会这样 |
| [04:42] | “Mmm, I like pizza and memes.” | “我喜欢披萨和搞笑图片” |
| [04:45] | Or like, “Here’s a picture of me holding a fish”, like… | 或者是”这是我抓着一条鱼的照片” |
| [04:49] | It took me a while to come out to my family, | 我准备了很长时间才向家人出柜 |
| [04:51] | just because my parents are Jamaican | 因为我父母是牙买加人 |
| [04:53] | and homophobia is our second-best Olympic sport, so… | 而恐同是我们第二擅长的奥运会项目 |
| [04:56] | that definitely took a minute, um… | 所以确实花了一些时间… |
| [04:58] | But I feel like parents always kind of know that stuff, though. | 但我觉得父母一直都清楚这种事 |
| [05:02] | And I could tell, because my dad would give my brothers advice, | 我也能看出来 因为我爸会给我兄弟建议 |
| [05:05] | and my dad would tell my brothers, | 他会和我兄弟们说 |
| [05:07] | “Find a gal that makes you feel | “找一个你觉得自己 |
| [05:09] | like you don’t deserve her”, | 配不上她的女孩” |
| [05:12] | which is beautiful. | 这话很美 |
| [05:12] | He would just tell me, “Don’t do cocaine.” | 但他只会告诉我 “别嗑药” |
| [05:16] | And I have, so, like, | 而我嗑了 所以 |
| [05:19] | what’s up, Daddio? You know? | 你想怎样啊 老爸 |
| [05:21] | But also, like, me and my brothers were just, like, | 还有我和我兄弟们 |
| [05:23] | so different from each other growing up, like, | 从小到大都很不一样 |
| [05:26] | both my brothers are, like, taller than me, | 我的两个兄弟都比我高 |
| [05:28] | they’re fitter than me, | 身材比我好 |
| [05:29] | they carry themselves with confidence, you know? | 他们充满自信 |
| [05:31] | But I’m like small, pale, | 而我又孱弱又瘦小 |
| [05:33] | I carry myself like an inbred European prince. | 我就像个近亲繁殖生出的欧洲王子 |
| [05:38] | But I know I’m not ugly. | 但我知道我不丑 |
| [05:41] | I know that. | 我知道 |
| [05:43] | Like, on a one to ten scale, I don’t think I could, like, model, | 从一分到十分 我知道我不是模特级别的 |
| [05:45] | but I could definitely end a Republican senator’s career. | 但我肯定能终结一位共和党参议员的职业生涯 |
| [05:51] | That was a fucking great set. | 真是场超棒的演出 |
| [05:53] | – Cheers. – Cheers. | -干杯 -干杯 |
| [05:54] | Thanks, yeah, I appreciate it. | 谢谢 谢谢你这么说 |
| [05:56] | Dude, what are you doing in Maryland? | 兄弟 你为什么待在马里兰州 |
| [06:00] | Going to college. | 上大学 |
| [06:01] | Yeah, but… | 但… |
| [06:03] | You’re three hours from the greatest comedy scene… | 你离最棒的喜剧中心只有三小时车程 |
| [06:06] | – In the world. – In the world. | -世上最棒的 -世上最棒的 |
| [06:08] | Orlando, Florida. | 佛罗里达 奥兰多 |
| [06:10] | No, no! Manhattan! | 不 是曼哈顿 |
| [06:12] | You’re three hours from Manhattan, you should– | 你离曼哈顿只有三小时车程 你应该… |
| [06:13] | How often are you getting up? | 你多长时间上台表演一次 |
| [06:15] | – Like once or twice a month. – That– that’s what I’m saying. | -一个月一两次 -这就是我说的意思 |
| [06:19] | So you’re this good going up that infrequently? | 你不经常上台却还表演得这么棒 |
| [06:21] | Imagine how good you’ll get when you’re really doing it. | 如果你真的干这行 你得多出色啊 |
| [06:24] | It’s all who you know. | 这都取决于你认识了谁 |
| [06:26] | You know, you ever get to the city, look me up. | 你只要去纽约找我 |
| [06:28] | I– I can save you five years of bullshit, | 我就能让你少浪费五年时间 |
| [06:31] | get you in the right places. | 把你安排到对的地方 |
| [06:33] | – Anytime, really. – I’m serious. | -我会去的 -我认真的 |
| [06:36] | So am I. | 我也是 |
| [06:37] | I’m not doing shit here, like, truly. | 我在这其实没啥事 |
| [06:39] | I’m majoring in Philosophy, like, I don’t fucking do anything. | 我主修哲学 所以我没什么好干的 |
| [06:43] | I made three Pringles bongs this week, alone. | 我这周一个人用薯片筒做了三个烟枪 |
| [06:47] | That’s kind of impressive. | 挺酷的 |
| [06:48] | Thank you, I feel like I’m in prison. | 谢谢 我感觉自己就像在坐牢 |
| [06:50] | I’m leaving tomorrow morning. You want a ride, you can– | 我明早走 你要是想搭车 你可以… |
| [06:53] | I have a place. You can crash at my place, we’ll do spots. | 我有个房子 你可以住那 我们能去表演 |
| [06:57] | – Okay. Yeah, I’m down. – Really? Are you serious? | -好啊 我去 -真的吗 你说真的 |
| [07:00] | – Yeah, no, I’m serious. – I’m fucking serious. | -我说真的 -我很认真 |
| [07:02] | – I’m down to go. – I could use some fucking company. | -我会去 -我正好需要人陪 |
| [07:04] | You can drive? Can you drive? | 你开车吗 你会开车吗 |
| [07:07] | – Candy is the best. – It really is. | -糖果太好吃了 -确实 |
| [07:09] | – It’s made by science. – Yeah, to be fucking delicious. | -科学的产物 -对啊 才会如此美味 |
| [07:12] | Someone with a PhD was like, “What does the mouth want?” | 某个博士想着”嘴巴想吃什么呢” |
| [07:17] | We’ve got it. | 我们就有了糖果 |
| [07:17] | – Skittles? You ever have a Skittle? – Skittles. | -彩虹糖 你吃过彩虹糖吗 -彩虹糖 |
| [07:20] | The rainbow kingdom. | 彩虹王国 |
| [07:22] | Yes. | 没错 |
| [07:25] | Can I ask why you got into comedy? | 我能问一下你为什么做喜剧吗 |
| [07:26] | You seem… you seem pretty normal. | 你看起来很正常 |
| [07:30] | – I mean, you know what I mean. – Yeah. | -你明白我是什么意思 -是的 |
| [07:31] | Like, we are, we are bluest people. | 因为我们是最悲哀的一群人 |
| [07:34] | What happened to you? | 你身上发生了什么事 |
| [07:36] | I feel– It was just, like, a result of my surroundings, kind of? | 可能是我周围的环境造成的 |
| [07:40] | I grew up in this, like, low-income, black neighborhood. | 我成长在那种低收入的黑人社区 |
| [07:42] | I went to this, like, rich, white school, | 却读了一所都是有钱白人的学校 |
| [07:45] | and… I just felt, like, I don’t know, growing up, | 我觉得 在长大的过程中 |
| [07:48] | like, “funny” was a more stable identity | 比起那些我需要挣扎徘徊 |
| [07:52] | than whatever I had to do to, like, | 才能拥有的性格标签 |
| [07:53] | go back and forth between that. | “搞笑”是个更稳妥的选择 |
| [07:56] | So I just, like, was, like, “Okay if I’m the funny kid, | 我就想着 “如果我是个搞笑的孩子 |
| [07:58] | then I’m the funny kid no matter where I am.” | 那无论我在哪 我都是那个搞笑的孩子” |
| [08:01] | ‘Cause, you know– And it’s also, like, nobody funny-bashes, you know? | 因为吧 而且没有人会欺负搞笑的孩子 |
| [08:05] | Like, no one is gonna attack you | 没有人会因为你 |
| [08:06] | for doing bits in a conversation. | 在聊天时讲段子就攻击你 |
| [08:09] | I wish there wasn’t any bashing. | 我希望不要有任何霸凌 |
| [08:11] | That’d be ideal, but then I might not be a comedian, so… | 那样很好 不过我就成不了喜剧演员了 |
| [08:15] | Have you ever been to the Cellar? | 你去过酒窖吗 |
| [08:17] | No, I’ve seen, like, videos of it. | 没有 我看过一些视频 |
| [08:19] | That’s where, like, Schumer goes up with, like, Madonna. | 那是舒默和麦当娜会一起出现的地方 |
| [08:21] | – Yeah. Right? You never know. – Right. | -是吧 总有惊喜 -是的 |
| [08:23] | You never know who’s gonna go up. | 你想不到会有谁上台 |
| [08:24] | Sometimes it’s Schumer, you might follow Chappelle, | 有时候是舒默 有时是查普尔 |
| [08:27] | Rock– it’s all the best ones. | 还有洛克 都是最棒的演员 |
| [08:29] | Like, even getting an audition at the Cellar? | 即使只是在酒窖试演 |
| [08:31] | I mean, it’s huge. It’s a really, really big deal. | 那也是个大场面 是件大事 |
| [08:35] | So somebody vouched for me, I get to go up– | 有人为我担保 我才能上台 |
| [08:38] | even that, it’s like, it’s just an honor to be nominated. | 尽管如此 能被提名我都很荣幸 |
| [08:41] | But if I kill, and everybody kills, you get in– | 但如果我成功 或者任何人成功的话就能入行 |
| [08:43] | Now I’m doing two-to-three spots a night, | 现在每晚我都有两到三个演出 |
| [08:46] | instead of two-to-three spots a week. | 以前我每周只有两到三个演出 |
| [08:48] | The right people see me, | 有伯乐发现我 |
| [08:49] | I get a late-night spot, maybe I get a half-hour, | 我就获得一场深夜的表演 也许半个小时 |
| [08:52] | maybe I get an hour, maybe I tour, | 也许一个小时 也许我会巡回表演 |
| [08:54] | maybe I open for somebody, I mean… | 也许我会为某人暖场 |
| [08:57] | – Dude, that’s awesome! – It’s incredible. | -老兄 真棒啊 -不可思议 |
| [08:58] | – That’s really cool. – I mean… | -真的很棒 -我是说 |
| [09:01] | I don’t want to say New York’s my town, | 我不好意思说纽约是我的主场 |
| [09:02] | but it’s kind of, you know, it is, it’s my town. | 但感觉起来 它就是我的主场 |
| [09:10] | Okay, come in. | 进来吧 |
| [09:13] | Okay. Pretty nice. | 好的 房子不错啊 |
| [09:15] | Yeah, I’m never here as you can tell. | 能看出来我没怎么在这住过 |
| [09:18] | It’s basically just a crash pad. | 这里只是小歇之处 |
| [09:24] | Obviously, that’s the Cellar. | 很明显 那是酒窖 |
| [09:28] | Around the corner is the Boston. | 街角那个就是波士顿 |
| [09:29] | It’s in New York, but they call it The Boston. | 明明在纽约但别人就叫波士顿 |
| [09:31] | That’s where I started out. | 那是我最开始演出的地方 |
| [09:33] | That’s where a lot of the greats start out. | 那是很多厉害人物起家的地方 |
| [09:41] | Petey! | 皮特 |
| [09:42] | – What’s going on? – Hey, buddy! | -最近怎么样 -你好伙计 |
| [09:44] | Back from the– back from the college tour, right? | 刚结束大学巡回演出回来吧 |
| [09:45] | Yeah. Oh my God! | 是啊 我的天 |
| [09:46] | It’s so good to be back! How are shows, selling? | 回来感觉真好 表演卖得怎么样 |
| [09:49] | Oh, it’s great! Yeah! It’s, um… | 特别好 就是 |
| [09:51] | It’s actually doing well, you know? | 真的还挺好的 |
| [09:52] | – Good! – You know this Comedy Cellar around the corner, | -很好 -你知道街角的酒窖喜剧吧 |
| [09:55] | everybody’s showing up to see whether or not | 大家都去那里看 |
| [09:56] | one of the disgraced comedians are gonna | 会不会有某个过气的喜剧演员 |
| [09:57] | come back and make an appearance, and, uh, | 再回到那里演出 |
| [10:00] | they fill up, people find their way over here. Overflow, baby! | 那里爆满 其他人只能来这 爆满啊 |
| [10:04] | – That’s great! – Yeah, it’s cool. We’re selling some tickets. | -真棒 -是啊 我们卖了不少票 |
| [10:06] | Good. It’s good to be back. | 很好 能回来真好 |
| [10:08] | – This is Jaboukie. – Jaboody? | -这位是杰布克 -杰布迪 |
| [10:11] | – Jaboukie, with a “K”. – Jaboukie. | -杰布克 克 -杰布克 |
| [10:13] | – Star Wars? – He opened for me on my coll– | -《星球大战》 -他为我在大学 |
| [10:16] | – well, one of the college shows. – Oh yeah? | -为我一场大学巡演暖场 -是吗 |
| [10:18] | I just wanted to show him the old haunt, that’s all. | 我只想来带他看看我的老地盘 |
| [10:20] | “Old haunt.” All right, hotshot. | “老地盘” 好吧 大人物 |
| [10:22] | Nah, listen, it’s good to see you. Come on in. | 很高兴见到你 进来吧 |
| [10:24] | I had to call for a cab to the airport and I said, | 我得叫辆出租车去机场 我说 |
| [10:27] | “Uh, hey, can I get a taxi | “我能订一辆出租车 |
| [10:29] | to LaGuardia at noon tomorrow?” | 明天中午去拉瓜迪亚机场吗” |
| [10:32] | And the guy goes, “Okay, bye!” | 那个家伙说 “好的 再见” |
| [10:39] | Hey, maybe don’t hang up the phone just yet. | 这电话是不是挂早了 |
| [10:44] | Aren’t you supposed to ask me for my address, | 难道你不该问下我的地址 |
| [10:47] | tell me how much this is going to cost, or, I don’t know, | 告诉我要花多少钱 或者 |
| [10:51] | do anything at all to convince me | 做点什么来说服我 |
| [10:52] | a transaction has just been made over the telephone? | 咱们说好了吧 |
| [10:57] | Here’s the weirdest part: he showed up! | 而最精彩的是 他如约而至 |
| [11:02] | Pretty popular guy. | 很受欢迎啊 |
| [11:04] | I, uh, I gotta say hi to somebody. | 我去和一个人打声招呼 |
| [11:06] | Real quick. I’ll be right back. | 很快 一会儿回来 |
| [11:07] | I’m in a relationship now. | 我谈恋爱了 |
| [11:09] | I have a girlfriend who is… | 我女朋友她是 |
| [11:18] | Okay. Good to see you. | 很高兴见到你 |
| [11:21] | That was weird, sorry. | 好尴尬 对不起 |
| [11:23] | I’m, uh, I’m back. I’m back. | 我回来了 我回来了 |
| [11:26] | – In the flesh. – Yeah. | -大活人啊 -嗯 |
| [11:29] | It’s good to see you. | 很高兴见到你 |
| [11:32] | How are you? | 你怎么样 |
| [11:34] | Well, I’m at the Boston, so… | 我在波士顿俱乐部 所以 |
| [11:37] | It’s not so bad. I was in Maryland this morning. | 不算太差 我今早在马里兰 |
| [11:42] | I bet they didn’t pay you in fries. | 他们没用薯条来付你工钱吧 |
| [11:47] | I’m, uh– | 我 |
| [11:49] | Yeah, I’m done with colleges for the summer. | 我的暑期大学演出结束了 |
| [11:51] | I’m excited to get back into the New York scene, you know? | 我很激动能回到纽约表演 |
| [11:54] | I’m nervous, but, I mean, I’m excited, too, I think. | 我很紧张 但我也很激动 |
| [11:59] | Pete, uh, | 皮特 |
| [12:00] | I’m not trying to be callous, but… | 我不是故意打击你 但是 |
| [12:02] | I don’t care. | 我不在乎 |
| [12:05] | Hey, what’s up, everybody? | 大家好啊 |
| [12:07] | Clap your hands, right? | 鼓鼓掌好吗 |
| [12:09] | I’m sorry. | 对不起 |
| [12:12] | I’m sorry… | 对不起 |
| [12:14] | about, I– the whole thing, I mean… | 关于所有的事 |
| [12:16] | it was shitty. | 太糟糕了 |
| [12:19] | I didn’t mean to break up with you | 我没想着演出后 |
| [12:20] | on a street corner, after a show. | 在街角和你分手的 |
| [12:24] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [12:27] | I really am sorry. | 我真的很抱歉 |
| [12:32] | I kind of felt it that time. | 当时我也感觉到了 |
| [12:35] | Congrats on being a human being. | 恭喜你做回人了 |
| [12:38] | Hey, thanks. | 谢谢你 |
| [12:41] | What’s happening here? What is this? | 这是怎么回事 这是什么 |
| [12:44] | What the fuck is that jacket? | 这件夹克是怎么回事 |
| [12:46] | I’m trying something new. | 我在尝试些新玩意 |
| [12:47] | It’s G-Star. | 智多星的 |
| [12:49] | Are you sure you should be wearing that? | 你确定要穿这个吗 |
| [12:51] | You’re neither a G nor a star. | 你既不是同志也不是明星 |
| [13:04] | Is this it? | 是这吗 |
| [13:06] | – This is it. – Okay. | -是这 -好的 |
| [13:07] | Crazy, right? | 很刺激 对吧 |
| [13:09] | This is my– Uh, Kev! | 这是我 凯文 |
| [13:11] | – What’s up? – What’s up, man? | -你好啊 -你好啊 兄弟 |
| [13:12] | This is, uh, this is Jaboukie. | 这是杰布克 |
| [13:14] | Jaboukie, this is Kevin, my manager. | 杰布克 这是凯文 我的经纪人 |
| [13:15] | – Hey, what’s up? – What’s up? | -你好啊 -你好啊 |
| [13:16] | Nice to meet you. | 很高兴认识你 |
| [13:17] | You want to head in? I’ll meet you down there? | 你想先进去吗 我待会去找你 |
| [13:19] | – Yeah, just, uh– – Yeah, the white one. | -好 那就… -白色那个 |
| [13:23] | – What’s up, man? – How you doing? | -你好啊 兄弟 -你怎么样 |
| [13:24] | I feel great. Thanks for being here. | 我很好 多谢你来这里 |
| [13:26] | – You ready? – Yeah. | -你准备好了吗 -是的 |
| [13:28] | Do you have your set list? | 你准备好演出什么了吗 |
| [13:30] | Yeah. | 当然 |
| [13:31] | You sure you’re ready? | 你确定准备好了吗 |
| [13:34] | – Yeah. – Good, | -是的 -那就好 |
| [13:35] | because if you fuck this up, the door closes. | 因为如果你搞砸 那你就没戏了 |
| [13:39] | – Yeah, I’m gonna– – Yeah, have fun. | -好的 我先去… -好 玩得开心 |
| [13:41] | – I want you to have fun. – Okay. | -玩得开心 -好 |
| [13:54] | What’s going on? | 什么情况 |
| [13:57] | Just did a spot. | 我刚演完 |
| [13:58] | Here? | 在这里吗 |
| [13:59] | – Yes. – Holy shit! | -没错 -天啊 |
| [14:01] | – Yeah! – I didn’t know you were passed. | -是的 -我都不知道你通过了 |
| [14:03] | I mean… | 其实… |
| [14:04] | I do, like, one spot every, like, two weeks or something. | 我差不多两周才演一场 |
| [14:08] | That’s crazy. I, uh… it’s my audition. | 天啊 我… 我来试演 |
| [14:12] | – I’m auditioning tonight. – Cool. | -我今晚试演 -棒 |
| [14:15] | Yeah, I would love it if you could, uh, stay. | 如果你能留下我会很开心的 |
| [14:19] | Yeah, I’ll try to stick around and watch. | 好 我留下看看 |
| [14:21] | – I mean, great! – Yeah! | -太好了 -好 |
| [14:23] | – I would love that! – All right, well have fun! | -我很高兴 -那就玩得开心 |
| [14:24] | – Yes! – Yeah, yeah! | -好的 -好好 |
| [14:25] | – Right. Bye-bye. – Okay, see you later. | -再见 -再见 |
| [14:28] | – Peter! How are you, brother? – Pete! | -皮特 你怎么样 -皮特 |
| [14:31] | Oh my gosh, you both made it! | 天啊 你们两个都来了 |
| [14:32] | – Yeah. – I’m so glad. | -是啊 -我好高兴 |
| [14:34] | It’s so good to see you. | 能见到你们真好 |
| [14:35] | We just got back from two weeks in Tulum. | 我们去图伦玩了两周刚回来 |
| [14:38] | – Tulum? – It was magical. | -图伦吗 -真的特别棒 |
| [14:39] | – Tulum? – Yeah. | -图伦 -是的 |
| [14:40] | Yeah. We swam with baby tortugas. | 是的 我们和小海龟一起游泳 |
| [14:43] | – Oh God. – Peter, | -天啊 -皮特 |
| [14:44] | it took us to the next level, man. | 这让我们发展到了下个阶段 |
| [14:46] | – Without putting any labels on it. – Yeah. | -不再给我们的关系贴标签 -是的 |
| [14:48] | So you– you guys are, like, together now? | 你们两个现在算是在一起了吗 |
| [14:51] | – Oh, I mean… – We are. | -这个… -是的 |
| [14:53] | We just are. | 是的 |
| [14:54] | But are… are you dating other people? | 你们还在和其他人交往吗 |
| [14:57] | – No, I’m not. – No, me too. | -我没有 -我也没有 |
| [14:59] | So you guys are– that’s great– you’re together! | 所以你们… 太棒了 你们在一起了 |
| [15:02] | That’s how you see it. | 这是你的看法 |
| [15:04] | Peter, don’t put us in one of your boxes. | 皮特 不要以你自己揣度我们 |
| [15:08] | – But you look good! – Yeah, are you excited? | -不过你看起来不错 -没错 你激动吗 |
| [15:10] | – I am, yeah. – Okay. | -是的 -好 |
| [15:12] | I feel like I’ve been training for a marathon, so… | 感觉自己一直在为马拉松准备 |
| [15:14] | Not that I’ve ever run a marathon, but, you know– | 并不是说我跑过马拉松 不过你们懂的 |
| [15:17] | Yeah, I do know. I have run a marathon. | 我确实懂 我跑过马拉松 |
| [15:20] | Well, not a marathon, 26 miles. | 不是真的马拉松 就是跑了42公里 |
| [15:22] | Just because– that’s the road that was in front of me. | 只是因为 我面前那条路就是那么长 |
| [15:26] | – You’re gonna do great. – Artie! | -你会表现很棒的 -阿迪 |
| [15:30] | I just saw somebody that I’m very excited to see. | 我看到一个我很想见的人 |
| [15:32] | – I’m gonna– Thank you for coming. – Cool. | -我过去… 谢谢你们能来 -好 |
| [15:34] | – I’ll see you after. – Yeah. | -待会见 -好 |
| [15:37] | Artie! | 阿迪 |
| [15:40] | – What’s up, man? – Hey, buddy, good to see you. | -最近怎么样 -兄弟 真高兴见到你 |
| [15:42] | Jeez, look at you! | 天啊 瞧瞧你 |
| [15:43] | Hey, it’s good to see you guys! This is fun! | 很高兴见到你们 真开心 |
| [15:45] | Yeah, Pete, is that a camouflage jacket? | 皮特 你穿的是迷彩夹克吗 |
| [15:47] | Yeah, it’s G-Star. | 是的 智多星夹克 |
| [15:49] | What, were you in the Cupcake Wars? | 怎么 参加《纸杯蛋糕大战》了吗 |
| [15:50] | – Thank you for your sacrifice. – Estee, I’m– I’m Pete. | -多谢你的牺牲 -埃斯蒂 我是皮特 |
| [15:53] | – Who? – Pete Holmes. | -谁 -皮特·福尔摩斯 |
| [15:55] | – I’m auditioning for you. – Pete Holmes, | -我将参加你的试演 -皮特·福尔摩斯 |
| [15:56] | the guy I was telling you about. | 我跟你说的那个人 |
| [15:57] | The tall drink of milk. Funny kid. | 那个大高个白小哥 有趣的孩子 |
| [15:59] | – Artie vouched for me. – I did. | -阿迪为我担保 -没错 |
| [16:00] | – You’re going on after Elon. – Okay. | -你在埃伦之后上场 -好的 |
| [16:03] | Five minutes, light at four. Don’t go over. | 一共五分钟 四分钟时点睛收尾 别超过了 |
| [16:06] | – I aim to please. – Just like sex. | -包您满意 -就像做爱 |
| [16:08] | Yeah, yeah. It’s really great to meet you. | 真的很高兴见到你们 |
| [16:10] | Thank you. Thank you, thank you. | 谢谢你 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [16:12] | – All right, Pete. We got it. – Thank you again. | -皮特 我们知道了 -再次感谢 |
| [16:15] | – Take a walk. – All right. | -走吧 -好 |
| [16:18] | – Okay, see you. – See ya later, Pete. | -再见 -再见 皮特 |
| [16:40] | I had a stroke, man. I had a stroke. | 我有次中风了 我中风了 |
| [16:43] | No, that’s not funny. Don’t laugh at that shit. | 这不好笑 别笑这个 |
| [16:45] | Who’s fucking laughing? | 谁在笑 |
| [16:46] | And one thing I learned about having a stroke and being in New York: | 在纽约中风时我学到一件事 |
| [16:50] | Nobody gives a fuck about your stroke, | 没人关心你中风了 |
| [16:51] | that’s for sure. | 这是肯定的 |
| [16:53] | You walk down the street, they, “Get the fuck out the way!” | 你在路上走 人们会说”给我闪开 |
| [16:55] | “What the fuck, man?” | 你搞什么 |
| [16:57] | “Get the hell in the stroke lane!” | 去中风街啊 |
| [16:58] | “What the fuck is a stroke lane, man?” | 中风街是什么鬼 老天 |
| [17:02] | And then… and then you gotta cross that street! | 然后你得穿过马路 |
| [17:06] | That long-ass street with the countdown– | 在倒计时中过那条长长的马路 |
| [17:08] | the light with the countdown on it. | 对面那灯在倒计时 |
| [17:09] | It starts counting down, and my heart starts racing. | 开始倒计时了 我的心开始狂跳 |
| [17:11] | Oh, shit! What the fuck! | 糟糕 怎么办 |
| [17:14] | 17 16 17… 16… | |
| [17:18] | All of a sudden, I’m in a race with an old bitch in a walker. | 突然之间我和一个推助行器的老婆子在竞跑了 |
| [17:21] | 15 15… | |
| [17:25] | All right, man. Y’all ready to keep this show going, man? | 好了 准备观看接下来的演出了吗 |
| [17:28] | Let’s hear this shit, man! | 一起来看看 |
| [17:30] | Come on, man, we got more show. | 欢呼起来 我们还有演出呢 |
| [17:32] | Got a special guest spot coming– stopping past. | 有个特邀嘉宾来演出 |
| [17:35] | Very funny guy. | 非常搞笑的家伙 |
| [17:36] | Clubs and colleges all around the country. | 在全国各个俱乐部 各个大学演出 |
| [17:39] | Give it up for Pete Holmes! | 掌声有请皮特·福尔摩斯 |
| [17:40] | Come on, man! Pete Holmes! | 来吧 皮特·福尔摩斯 |
| [17:43] | Pete! | 皮特 |
| [17:47] | Thank you! | 谢谢 |
| [17:50] | Keith Robinson! Keep it going for Keith. | 基思·罗宾逊 掌声继续送给基思 |
| [17:55] | Look at this. Look at that. | 瞅瞅 瞅瞅 |
| [17:58] | I don’t know. I don’t know Comedy Cellar, | 不太了解 我不太了解酒窖喜剧 |
| [18:00] | you know, if I’m gonna– | 如果我要 |
| [18:01] | You might have to put in a skylight for me. | 你们可能需要给我开个天窗 |
| [18:04] | This isn’t right. | 这个不太对劲 |
| [18:06] | You guys pee in the pool? | 你们在泳池里撒过尿吗 |
| [18:07] | Clap your hands if you pee in the pool. | 如果你在泳池里撒过尿就鼓鼓掌 |
| [18:09] | Don’t be afraid. | 怕什么 |
| [18:11] | Pee. No pee. Pee. Pee. No pee. | 撒过 没撒过 撒过 撒过 没撒过 |
| [18:15] | All the no pee-ers, you gotta pee in the pool. | 所有没撒过的人 你们得撒一次 |
| [18:17] | It is one of the truest acts of freedom | 这是你作为成年人能做的 |
| [18:19] | you can do as a human adult. | 最真实的自由之举了 |
| [18:21] | To stand up to here in water, three feet away from a stranger, | 站在齐腰的水里 离陌生人一米远 |
| [18:25] | just like, “What’s going on?” | 问人家”你好吗” |
| [18:34] | Let’s get closer. | 咱们离近点 |
| [18:37] | We used to pee so much in the pool when I was a kid, | 小时候 我们经常在泳池里撒尿 |
| [18:39] | they actually went so far as to put a chemical in the water | 他们甚至在水里放一种化学品 |
| [18:42] | that would make the water turn red if you peed in it. | 只要你在里面撒尿 水就会变成红色 |
| [18:45] | Anybody else have a pool that did this? | 有人见过这样的泳池吗 |
| [18:47] | We used to try and frame kids. | 我们经常设计陷害小孩 |
| [18:49] | We’d swim up to them real close, pee, then swim away. | 我们会游得离他们很近 撒尿之后立马游走 |
| [18:52] | They’d get kicked out. | 他们就被揪出去了 |
| [18:54] | But the best thing to do was to go on the high-dive, | 干的最漂亮的事就是上跳台 |
| [18:57] | the highest diving board they had, | 最高的那个跳板 |
| [18:58] | run off, pee your pants in mid-air. | 起跑 半空中尿在泳裤里 |
| [19:02] | When you hit the water, do the dead-man’s float. | 当你入水的时候 装成死人漂浮的样子 |
| [19:04] | The water turned red. | 水变红了 |
| [19:07] | Everyone thought you exploded. | 大家都以为你炸了 |
| [19:10] | Thank you, guys, very much! What a thrill! | 谢谢大家 非常感谢 真开心 |
| [19:12] | Comedy Cellar! Thank you! | 酒窖喜剧 谢谢 |
| [19:20] | All right. Give it up for Pete Holmes, man! | 掌声送给皮特·福尔摩斯 |
| [19:26] | – Jaboukie! – Dude, that’s so good! | -杰布克 -哥们 太棒了 |
| [19:29] | – Man! – Like, for real, you killed it. | -天啊 -真的 你太棒了 |
| [19:30] | I fucking– They’re right there, they’re right there. | 观众很给力 特别好 |
| [19:33] | – They’re so good! That was amazing! – Yeah. Yeah, great job! | -太好了 感觉好极了 -是 特别棒 |
| [19:37] | Thank you! | 谢谢 |
| [19:40] | What’s going on? What are you– What’s going on? | 你干什么呢 你忙什么呢 |
| [19:44] | I actually hit up the person that I knew in New York, | 我刚联系了一个在纽约我认识的人 |
| [19:47] | and they ended up getting me a spot. | 他们让我演一场 |
| [19:50] | You– here? Here? | 你 在这 在这演吗 |
| [19:52] | Yeah, I’m shocked, too. Yeah. | 是的 我也很惊讶 |
| [19:54] | Oh my God! Dude, who? | 天啊 哥们 找的谁 |
| [19:57] | Michelle Wolf. | 米歇尔·沃尔夫 |
| [19:59] | She’s, like, college friends with my sister, and I saw her. | 她是我姐姐的大学朋友 我刚才看见她了 |
| [20:02] | You hit up Michelle Wolf? | 你找了米歇尔·沃尔夫 |
| [20:04] | Yeah, uh, she– | 是的 她 |
| [20:05] | I, like, saw her last Christmas or whatever. | 去年圣诞节还是什么时候来着 我见过她 |
| [20:08] | Dude, that’s amazing. You should have told me. | 哥们 这太棒了 你应该早点告诉我 |
| [20:12] | I want to meet Michelle Wolf. | 我也想认识米歇尔·沃尔夫 |
| [20:14] | – Yeah, she’s cool. – Right? | -她人挺好 -是吧 |
| [20:16] | She’s cool! | 人挺好 |
| [20:18] | It’s just a guest set, but they’re amazing. | 虽然只是临时表演 但是观众很棒 |
| [20:20] | You’re gonna fucking kill. | 你会表演得很棒的 |
| [20:21] | – Yeah? They’re good? – It’s amazing! | -是吗 观众很配合吗 -非常好 |
| [20:23] | Yes! Look at us, man! | 是的 看看我们 |
| [20:26] | Yesterday morning, we were at Goucher College. | 昨天早晨 我们还在古彻大学 |
| [20:28] | Now, big-time. | 现在 名声大噪 |
| [20:30] | – This is what I said we’d do– lighting it up! – Right. Yeah. | -我说过我们能做到 一片光明 -是的 |
| [20:33] | I’m proud of you. I’m happy for you. | 我为你骄傲 我为你高兴 |
| [20:35] | Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Jaboukie Young-White! | 女士们先生们 掌声有请杰布克·扬-怀特 |
| [20:42] | Come on, man! Jaboukie! | 来吧 杰布克 |
| [20:47] | What’s up? What’s up? | 你们好 你们好 |
| [20:49] | Michelle fucking Wolf. | 米歇尔·他妈的沃尔夫 |
| [20:52] | What’s up? I’m multiracial. Anybody multiracial? | 大家好 我是混血 有人是混血吗 |
| [20:56] | Anybody? Yeah, yeah! Awesome! | 有吗 有 太好了 |
| [21:01] | I am, and it’s kind of weird, though, | 我是混血 这事有点奇怪 |
| [21:03] | ’cause, like, I’ve noticed that my race changes from city to city | 因为我注意到我在各个城市的种族都不一样 |
| [21:06] | in, like, a weird way. Like, when I’m in Chicago, | 有点奇怪 当我在芝加哥的时候 |
| [21:08] | people just think that I’m half black, half white. | 大家以为我是黑白混血 |
| [21:10] | When I’m in New York, people think that I’m Puerto Rican. | 我在纽约的时候 大家以为我是波多黎各人 |
| [21:13] | But when I’m in CVS, everyone thinks I’m stealing. | 可我进了西维斯药店 大家都以为我在偷东西 |
| [21:19] | Which is, like, really frustrating, ’cause I am. | 特别惨 因为我确实在偷东西 |
| [21:23] | I don’t know how to drive. I can’t drive, | 我不知道该怎么开车 我不会开车 |
| [21:27] | so I just gotta, like, Uber everywhere, like, if I need to drive. | 所以需要用车时 我到哪都用优步 |
| [21:30] | And for the first time, the other day, I had an Uber driver | 有一天 我有生以来第一次 叫到了 |
| [21:33] | that had a 3.8 rating. | 一个评分只有3.8的司机 |
| [21:36] | Like, are you murdering people? | 这家伙莫不是杀人吧 |
| [21:41] | What’s going on? | 什么情况 |
| [21:42] | I, like, got out the car, like, zig-zagged into my apartment, | 我下了车 走之字形地进了公寓楼 |
| [21:45] | just in case he, like… | 以防他 这样 |
| [21:47] | Just like, “Aah!” | 然后我就会 |
| [21:51] | Just, like, blow-darts me, takes my phone, | 瞄准我吹个飞镖 拿走我的手机 |
| [21:53] | gives himself five stars. | 给自己一个五星好评 |
| [21:56] | These drivers be thirsty. | 这帮司机求之不得 |
| [22:23] | Hello. Pete. | 你好 我是皮特 |
| [22:26] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [22:34] | – Thank you. – Sure. | -谢谢 -不客气 |
| [22:42] | Pellegrino. | 圣培露矿泉水 |
| [22:46] | So… | 这么说吧 |
| [22:48] | So. | 请讲 |
| [22:52] | You’re not ready. | 你没准备好 |
| [22:55] | Really? I… I thought I killed. | 真的吗 我以为我搞定了[杀人] |
| [22:58] | I mean, they… I killed. | 我把观众都搞定了 |
| [23:01] | No. | 不 |
| [23:03] | A strong bomb is better than a weak kill. | 强力的炸弹好过无力的杀招 |
| [23:08] | Is there… | 有什么… |
| [23:10] | Sorry. What? What? | 抱歉 什么 什么意思 |
| [23:13] | Who are you, why are you, and why now? | 你是谁 为何而来 为何是现在 |
| [23:18] | I have plenty of white guys talking about nothing. | 我这里有许多言之无物的白人小哥 |
| [23:21] | Is it– is there something, I mean– | 有什么东西是… |
| [23:25] | Look, it didn’t do anything for me. | 你的表演没有打动我 |
| [23:29] | – Estee! How are you? – Oh hi, Greer! | -埃斯蒂 你好 -格里尔 |
| [23:33] | – How are you? – How beautiful. | -你好吗 -好美啊 |
| [23:34] | – Good. Good. Good. – Sit down, sit down. | -很好 很好 -坐下来 坐下来 |
| [23:36] | – How was it? – Oh, it was fantastic. | -怎么样 -棒极了 |
| [23:38] | – Wanda Sykes stopped in. – Really? | -旺达·赛克斯都顺路进来了 -真的吗 |
| [23:39] | – Yeah, she did well. – I don’t expect anything less from her. | -她真的来了 -她真是太好了 |
| [23:58] | The only thing that stays the same | 唯一不变的事实是 |
| [23:59] | is the fact that I get followed in like every CVS, basically. | 几乎在每家西维斯药店我都被跟踪 |
| [24:03] | And every city has a CVS. | 每个城市都有西维斯 |
| [24:05] | – Exactly! So it works. – Hey, man. | -没错 所以它好笑 -兄弟 |
| [24:09] | – What’s going on? What’s up? – Hey, what’s up? | -怎么了 你好啊 -你好啊 |
| [24:13] | – Estee, this is, uh, this is Jaboukie. – I know. | -埃斯蒂 这是杰布克 -我知道 |
| [24:16] | He, um, he’s my opener. I mean, one time. | 他为我暖场 就那么一次 |
| [24:20] | So, um, send me your avails. You can e-mail them, | 把你有空的时间段发给我 可以电邮我 |
| [24:24] | – or you can text me, okay? – Okay. | -或者发短信 好吗 -好的 |
| [24:26] | – My number is 917… – 917. | -我的号码是917 -917 |
| [24:30] | -439 -439 – 439… – 439. | |
| [24:40] | Okay, you’re gonna– Okay. | 你们真的 |
| [24:50] | Actually, it’s a pretty good pizza– | 其实那个披萨挺好吃的 |
| [24:54] | Pete! | 皮特 |
| [24:57] | That was a good set! | 你的演出真棒 |
| [25:00] | Are you fucking with me? | 你是在玩我吗 |
| [25:03] | No, it was really good. Why? What’d she say? | 不 真的很棒 怎么了 她说什么 |
| [25:07] | She said no! | 她说不行 |
| [25:09] | She said a bunch of fucking riddles, | 她跟打哑谜似地说了几句话 |
| [25:11] | and then she said no. It’s a no. | 然后她说不行 拒绝了我 |
| [25:13] | I’m really sorry. | 我真的很遗憾 |
| [25:16] | – What? – This must be a big moment for you. | -什么 -这对你肯定是个好消息 |
| [25:18] | This is your I-told-you-so, right? | 你会说”我早告诉过你了吧” |
| [25:20] | – What? – Everything you said, I’m fucking corny, | -什么 -你说的那些 我的笑话老掉牙 |
| [25:22] | I’m not an artist, I’m not one of the cool kids, right? | 我不是艺术家 我一点都不酷 |
| [25:25] | What the fuck are you talking about? | 你他妈在说什么 |
| [25:27] | I’m not rooting against you, okay? | 我没在嘲讽你 好吗 |
| [25:30] | I hate to break it to you, but I’m not invested in you on that level. | 不想明说 但我对你还没有关注到那个程度 |
| [25:33] | I just wanted to tell you that you had a good set, | 我只想告诉你 你的演出挺棒的 |
| [25:36] | because you fucking did. | 因为真的很棒 |
| [25:37] | So relax, and quit being a fucking little bitch. | 所以淡定点 别像个小肚鸡肠的贱人 |
| [25:40] | – Well, clearly I didn’t have a fucking good set. I didn’t. – You did! | -很显然我的演出并不成功 -很成功 |
| [25:43] | I watched you! So what, you didn’t get passed, it’s fine! | 我看见了 你没通过那又怎么样 没事的 |
| [25:46] | This has been six months, do you understand? | 已经六个月了 你明白吗 |
| [25:48] | – It kept me fucking– – Oh my God! Six months! | -它让我… -天啊 六个月 |
| [25:51] | You don’t know what it’s like. I’m on the fucking– | 你不知道这是什么感觉 我在… |
| [25:53] | – I don’t know what it’s like? – Yes, you don’t! | -我不知道是什么感觉 -是的 你不知道 |
| [25:55] | I fucking wasted, like, half the year for this! I… | 我浪费了半年时间就为了这个 |
| [26:00] | – I’m sorry. Thank you for coming. – I’m– I really am sorry! | -抱歉 谢谢你过来 -我真的很遗憾 |
| [26:03] | You were great. I think you got screwed. | 你表现得很棒 我觉得你被坑了 |
| [26:08] | I appreciate… I appreciate the support. | 很感谢 很感谢你的支持 |
| [26:13] | I haven’t seen that type of look in her eyes | 自从92年查普尔上台表演以来 |
| [26:16] | since ’92 when Chappelle went on stage. | 我从来没在她眼睛里看到过那样的光采 |
| [26:20] | Yeah, no– no bullshit, man. | 我没骗你 |
| [26:22] | And then she had that look like, | 然后她的表情就像是 |
| [26:25] | You know what I mean? | 你懂我的意思吗 |
| [26:26] | And it pissed me off, to be honest with you. | 老实跟你说 真让我生气 |
| [26:29] | Jaboukie. Jaboukie! | 杰布克 杰布克 |
| [26:31] | Let’s go, man, I called the Uber. | 我们走吧 我叫了优步 |
| [26:33] | All right. No problem, man. | 好吧 没问题 |
| [26:44] | You definitely should’ve gotten a spot, too. | 你也该得到表演机会的 |
| [26:47] | Like, I don’t know what’s going on | 我不知道那位女士 |
| [26:49] | with that lady or whatever, but… | 是什么情况 但是… |
| [26:52] | No, man, you were great. That was a great set. | 没事 你很棒 你的演出很棒 |
| [26:55] | – You’re really fucking funny. – Um, thanks, but like, I mean, | -你真的很搞笑 -谢谢 但是 |
| [27:00] | that was, like, a fluke, you know, | 那只是侥幸而已 |
| [27:01] | – I probably couldn’t do that again if I had to. – Don’t. | -我不知道还能不能再来一次 -别这样 |
| [27:05] | Don’t downplay it. You’ll kill next time. | 别妄自菲薄 你下次会很厉害的 |
| [27:09] | I’ll be fine. You did– | 我没事 你… |
| [27:10] | I just want to get the fuck out of here. | 我只是想赶紧离开这 |
| [27:16] | – Come on. – I’m actually gonna hang back if that’s cool? | -走吧 -我还想再留一会 可以吗 |
| [27:20] | It’s just, like, I’m never really in New York, so like… | 我没来过纽约 所以… |
| [27:24] | Yeah. No, okay. | 好啊 没问题 |
| [27:26] | – I really appreciate it. – Have fun. | -感激不尽 -玩得开心 |
| [27:38] | Fuck. | 靠 |
| [27:45] | – Artie– – I saw the set. | -阿迪 -我看了你的表演 |
| [27:46] | Motherfucker, don’t fuck with me right now. I’m serious! | 混蛋 别来烦我 我是认真的 |
| [27:50] | I can’t fucking take this right now, okay? | 我现在没法接受 好吗 |
| [27:52] | Okay, you’re clearly upset. Let’s work through this. | 你显然很郁闷 我们去发泄一下吧 |
| [28:12] | So what’d she say? | 她怎么说 |
| [28:14] | She said I don’t do anything for her. | 她说我的表演没有打动她 |
| [28:16] | The kid’s done it, like, five times! | 那孩子只表演过五场吧 |
| [28:19] | It’s aggravating, but just get over it. | 这挺恼火的 但是想开点吧 |
| [28:21] | He fucking jumped the line, okay? | 他插队了 好吗 |
| [28:23] | I’ve been grinding it out, it was my turn! | 我一直在努力 该轮到我的 |
| [28:25] | He can’t just swoop around me! | 他不能这样越过我 |
| [28:27] | This is the game. | 这行就是如此 |
| [28:28] | You gotta get over this mountain, | 你得越过这座山 |
| [28:30] | and especially in New York City, it’s important. | 特别是在纽约 这很重要 |
| [28:32] | I mean, look, the booker thinks you’re a hack, I’m sorry. | 选角导演觉得你不行 我很遗憾 |
| [28:35] | You vouched for me! | 你为我担保了的 |
| [28:36] | I’ve been known to make a lot of bad decisions. | 众所周知 我做过很多糟糕的决定 |
| [28:38] | – Look at these goggles. – Artie, I thought I was helping him, | -瞧这护目镜 -阿迪 我以为我是在帮他 |
| [28:40] | he didn’t need me at all. | 结果他根本不需要我 |
| [28:41] | Welcome to life, man. You picked the wrong kid to mentor, dude. | 这就是人生 你找错了指导对象 |
| [28:44] | You mentor somebody who stinks, | 你应该指导一个烂人 |
| [28:46] | and you let him sleep on the couch. | 你让他睡在沙发上 |
| [28:48] | – Thanks. That’s– that’s nice. – Is that all right? | -谢谢 这挺有帮助 -可以这么说吧 |
| [28:50] | Ah, I know it’s bullshit, but, honestly, I’m sorry buddy. | 我知道这都是鬼扯 但我真的很遗憾 |
| [28:53] | There’s ups and downs. And look at me. | 人生有起有伏 看看我吧 |
| [28:56] | Is there any more proof that things can get better? | 还有什么能比我更好地证明会时来运转呢 |