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英美剧电影台词站

废柴联盟(Community)第5季第4集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 废柴联盟(Community)第5季第4集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
目录
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S01E09
S01E10
S01E11
S01E12
S01E13
S01E14
S01E15
S01E16
S01E17
S01E18
S01E19
S01E20
S01E21
S01E22
S01E23
S01E24
S01E25
S02E01
S02E02
S02E03
S02E04
S02E05
S02E06
S02E07
S02E08
S02E09
S02E10
S02E11
S02E12
S02E13
S02E14
S02E15
S02E16
S02E17
S02E18
S02E19
S02E20
S02E21
S02E22
S02E23
S02E24
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
S03E04
S03E05
S03E06
S03E07
S03E08
S03E09
S03E10
S03E11
S03E12
S03E13
S03E14
S03E15
S03E16
S03E17
S03E18
S03E19
S03E20
S03E21
S03E22
S04E01
S04E02
S04E03
S04E04
S04E05
S04E06
S04E07
S04E08
S04E09
S04E10
S04E11
S04E12
S04E13
S05E01
S05E02
S05E03
S05E04
S05E05
S05E06
S05E07
S05E08
S05E09
S05E10
S05E11
S05E12
S05E13
S06E01
S06E02
S06E03
S06E04
S06E05
S06E06
S06E07
S06E08
S06E09
S06E10
S06E11
S06E12
S06E13
时间 英文 中文
[00:02] Well, that was a weird afternoon. 这个下午真诡异
[00:04] I guess I knew Pierce was part of a weird, futuristic cult, 虽然我知道皮尔斯加入了诡异虚幻的组织
[00:07] but I wasn’t prepared for a funeral 但我还是没想到在葬礼上
[00:10] with so much beeping. 居然会有这么多爆粗
[00:11] Well, let’s not judge. 别说人家了
[00:13] Everyone has a right to whatever fake religion 每个人都有权利去选择
[00:15] they delusionally choose. 幻想中的虚假信仰
[00:17] Abed, you were by the coffin for a long time. 阿布蒂 你站在棺材那里好久呢
[00:20] Are you okay? 你还好吗
[00:21] I’m okay. Although… 我没事 不过…
[00:24] Troy and Abed are in mourning… 特洛伊和阿布蒂在悼念…
[00:26] Will you guys please stop doing that? 你们别这样了行不行
[00:27] I can’t believe you did during your eulogy. 在葬礼致辞时居然还和声
[00:29] So uncomfortable. 太不合适了
[00:31] I don’t think the audience got that we were singing 我觉得听众似乎没感受到
[00:33] “Mourning” with a “U”. 「悼念」里「悼」是重音
[00:34] You were singing “Mourning” with a “U”? 你的重音在「悼」上吗
[00:36] Oh, no. 天哪
[00:37] I still don’t fully understand the laser lotus theology. 我还是不理解激光莲座佛学到底是什么
[00:40] So Pierce’s body is in the coffin, 所以皮尔斯躺在棺材里
[00:43] and we buried it, 我们把棺材埋了
[00:44] but this energon pod contains his life… 可是一个能量罐会储存他的…
[00:46] vapor? 身体蒸汽
[00:47] Yeah, it’s all right here 没错 都写在他们分发的
[00:48] in this incredibly persuasive literature they passed out. 这份甚有说服力的宣传册里了
[00:51] Once you reach level 16, 一旦达到16级
[00:52] you can see the Color Blurble. 就可以看到「三眼蓝绿怪」
[00:54] Of all the ridiculous cartoon nonsense. 卡通片什么的都是骗小孩的
[00:56] If there is a blurble, the lord keeps it hidden for a reason. 上帝不让这种动物出现是有原因的
[00:58] What up, n-bombs? 各位怎么样啊
[01:00] How was the funeral? Awesome? 葬礼怎么样 是不是很爽
[01:02] No, Chang, our friend’s funeral was not awesome. 昌 朋友的葬礼怎么可能爽
[01:05] It was deeply sad. You know, funeral style. 很伤感 就是正常葬礼的感觉
[01:08] Excuse me. I thought you guys hated Pierce. 拜托 你们不是很讨厌皮尔斯吗
[01:10] – We did not hate Pierce. – Craziness. -我们根本不讨厌他 -别瞎说
[01:13] All right, are you sure you guys aren’t 你们现在这个态度
[01:14] just doing the “Respect the dead” Jig-a-lig? 只是在假装「尊敬逝者」吧
[01:17] I think you have us mistaken for you, Chang. 我们可不是你 昌
[01:19] I don’t know. 是吗
[01:20] I definitely remember you complaining about him 可是我记得 你们抱怨过他
[01:23] a lot. 很多次
[01:24] We complained about him when he was alive. 那都是他还活着的时候
[01:26] This is different. 现在不一样了
[01:27] Can’t believe we’ll never see him again. 我们居然再也无法见到他了
[01:29] Just a reminder you gotta live life to the fullest. 人生苦短 要抓紧时间享乐
[01:31] By the time Pierce was my age, 皮尔斯在我这么大的时候
[01:32] he had already been fired from 15 jobs. 他已经被十五家公司辞退
[01:35] I’ve only seen two Police Academies. 我却只看过两部「学警出更」[共七部]
[01:38] The last two. 最新两部
[01:39] Well, he’s gone too soon but won’t be soon forgotten. 他英年早逝 却会久久长存于我们心中
[01:42] I would say you’re quite correct, Mr. Winger. 你说得很对 翁格先生
[01:45] Who the hell are you? 你谁啊
[01:45] My name is Mr. Stone. 我叫斯通先生
[01:47] That’s easy for you to say. 你说得倒轻巧
[01:50] And for us to say. 我们叫着也不累
[01:51] I work for Mr. Hawthorne. 我为霍桑先生工作
[01:53] He specified in his will that no matter 他在遗嘱中强调
[01:54] how natural in appearance 不管他的死亡状况
[01:56] the circumstances of his death, 看起来多么正常
[01:58] a private inquest should be conducted 一定要进行私密调查
[02:00] to determine whether any one of you, 确定他生前的学习小组成员
[02:01] his former study group, murdered him. 是否对他进行了杀害
[02:05] What? 什么
[02:05] To be cleared, you must all submit to a polygraph test. 首先 你们都将与测谎仪连接
[02:08] Aw, schnizzle. 我勒个去
[02:10] You guys are in trouble! 你们有麻烦了
[02:13] Later. 回见
[02:14] Mr. Chang, I presume. 你应该就是昌老师吧
[02:15] You’re also listed as a suspect 你也是嫌疑人之一
[02:17] and requested to participate. 请配合调查
[02:18] Fine, but I ask the questions. 好吧 不过问题由我来问
[02:20] I’m afraid I can’t allow that. 这恐怕不行
[02:22] All right, then just the “Fine” Part. 那好吧 后半句当我没说
[02:27] We’re losing Pierce! 天哪 皮尔斯要撒气了
[02:28] Everyone, quickly! 快点
[02:35] Someone get a balloon. 快去拿个气球来
[03:03] I always wanted to try a polygraph. 我一直挺想试试测谎仪的
[03:05] They’re like the pie fight of cop movies. 就像警匪片里的抓小偷桥段
[03:06] Or the acupuncture of the legal system. 或者是法律体系的针灸疗程
[03:09] I can’t believe Pierce would think we might murder him. 皮尔斯居然觉得我们会杀他
[03:11] Yeah, what a waste of murder. 是啊 根本用不着杀
[03:12] I mean, he was, like, 79. 他都79岁高龄了吧
[03:14] I don’t suppose anyone wants to know 虽然你们可能都不在意
[03:15] I consider this a violation. 但我觉得这属于诽谤
[03:17] Come on, it’s just Pierce being Pierce. 算了 皮尔斯就是这个性格
[03:19] It’s his final wish. 这也是他的遗愿
[03:20] If I had a final wish, I’d use it to stay alive. 我的遗愿一定会是继续活下去
[03:22] Let’s do it. How do we begin? 那就开始吧 从谁开始呢
[03:24] We’re to start with Miss Perry. 我们从派利小姐开始
[03:26] – State your name. – Britta Perry. -你的姓名是 -布雷塔·派利
[03:27] Have you ever had any thoughts of violence 你对皮尔斯·霍桑先生
[03:29] towards Pierce Hawthorne? 是否有过暴力倾向
[03:30] – No. – Lie. -没有 -谎言
[03:32] I mean, I may have wanted to slap him now and again, 好吧 我有时候可能会想要扇他耳光
[03:34] but I didn’t kill him. 但我没杀他
[03:35] In all your sexual fantasies about Pierce Hawthorne, 你以皮尔斯·霍桑为对象进行的性幻想中
[03:37] none of them involved his murder? 没有谋杀他的情节吗
[03:39] What? No. 什么 没有
[03:40] But you have had sexual fantasies 不过你确实对霍桑先生
[03:41] about Mr. Hawthorne. 有过性幻想
[03:42] No! What kind of question is that? 没有 你这是什么问题
[03:44] I’m asking the questions 我可以向你保证
[03:45] just as mr. Hawthorne wrote them down, 我提出的一切问题
[03:47] I assure you. 都出自霍桑先生之手
[03:48] Mr. Winger, state your name. 翁格先生 你的名字
[03:50] Jeffrey winger. 杰夫瑞·翁格
[03:51] – Are you gay? – No. -你是基佬吗 -不是
[03:52] – Are you sure you’re not gay? – Yes. -你确定你不是基佬吗 -确定
[03:54] – Gay murderer says what. – What? -基佬凶手的话可信吗 -什么
[03:55] He’s telling the truth. 他说的是实话
[03:56] I’ve been instructed to point out that that means you’re gay. 我受到指示必须指出你就是基佬
[03:59] Ms. Bennett. 伯纳德太太
[04:00] – State your name. – Shirley Bennett. -你的全名 -雪瑞·伯纳德
[04:01] Are you a dishonest person? 你不诚实 对吗
[04:03] – No. – She thinks that’s true. -不对 -她内心承认了
[04:04] Uh, you could have just said no. 你想怎么说都行
[04:06] I’m watching you acting scientific 我都看着呢 你假装摆弄科学仪器
[04:08] and then adding your little every now and again. 时不时加入自己的主观色彩
[04:09] Huh? Continue. 对吧 继续
[04:11] Is it true that you’re a platinum level donor 你是反堕胎组织「爱护胎儿」的白金级
[04:13] with the pro-life organization prenatal patriots.org? 捐赠者 该事是否属实
[04:16] – What? – Keep it cool, girls. -什么 -淡定 姐们儿
[04:18] It’s my money. It’s my choice. 钱是我的 怎么花是我的事
[04:20] Yeah, well, if I wanted the government in my uterus, 对 如果想让政府关心我的子宫
[04:22] I’d fill it with oil and Hispanic voters. 我直接在里面填满票子和拉美选民就好了
[04:24] Keep it frosty, ladies. 姑娘们 冷静点
[04:26] Don’t let your goats get gotched. 控制好情绪
[04:27] Mr. Barnes, state your name. 巴恩斯先生 你的全名
[04:29] Troy Barnes. 特洛伊·巴恩斯
[04:30] D’oh! I meant to say, “Butts Carlton.” 靠 我本来想说「屁卡」的
[04:32] He did mean to say, “Butts Carlton.” 他确实是这么想的
[04:35] Mr. Barnes, did you get angry when Mr. Hawthorne told you 巴恩斯先生 霍桑先生告诉你
[04:37] Fat Albert died of diabetes? 胖子阿伯特死于糖尿病时 你是不是很生气
[04:39] Yes, like any American would. 对 全美人民都气坏了
[04:41] – Angry enough to murder him? – No. -气到想杀了他吗 -没有
[04:43] Is it true that you and Abed Nadir 你和阿布蒂·纳德尔
[04:44] have an elaborate doomsday escape plan 精心策划了一个末日逃亡计划
[04:46] to be used in the event of zombie attacks? 应准备应对僵尸入侵 是否属实
[04:49] We may have a designated rendezvous point 我们是定了一个会合地
[04:52] and a couple of bugout bags 准备了几个逃难包
[04:53] filled with gold coins and condoms 里面装满了金币和套套
[04:56] just in case we need to bargain our way onto a boat. 只是为了防止哪天突然就要上船
[04:59] The gold coins are for buying food. 金币是用来买食物的
[05:00] Does your doomsday plan account for the welfare 你的末日逃亡计划考虑到
[05:02] of any of your other friends? 你的其他朋友了吗
[05:05] – Pass. – Answer the question. -下一个问题 -正面回答问题
[05:07] – No. – Troy! Rude! -没有 -特洛伊 太伤人了
[05:09] It’s a doomsday plan, not a picnic plan. 这是末日逃亡哎 又不是野餐
[05:11] Do you really wanna see the horrors 就为了坐个船 你们真愿意目睹
[05:12] we might have to endure just to get on a boat? 我们将承受的那些苦难吗
[05:15] – I guess not. – That’s a lie. -应该不愿意 -撒谎
[05:16] He’s doing it again. 他又来了
[05:18] Pierce is doing it again. 皮尔斯又来了
[05:19] Mr. Chang, state your name. 昌先生 你的全名
[05:21] Benjamin Franklin Chang, ready to deal out the truth. 本杰明·富兰克林·昌 真相时刻为你敞开
[05:25] Nothing to hide. Let’s do this. 绝无隐瞒 开炮吧
[05:28] Have you ever masturbated in the study room? 你是否在自习室里「撸过」
[05:33] – Mr. Nadir, state your name. – Abed Nadir. -纳德尔 全名 -阿布蒂·纳德尔
[05:36] Have you ever 9/11’d anyone? 你是否对他人进行过恐怖袭击
[05:38] – Nope. – When you were a child, -没有 -你小时候
[05:39] did you ever kill a squirrel with a slingshot 用弹弓打死过一只松鼠
[05:41] and was surprised that you felt nothing and wondered 你惊讶自己没有丝毫良心不安 于是乎
[05:43] if you were capable of doing it to a human? 你开始寻思下次是否能拿人当靶子 是不是
[05:48] No. 不是
[05:51] Do you and Troy still actively use 你和特洛伊是否仍经常不经杰夫的允许
[05:53] Jeff’s Netflix account without his permission? 就使用他的奈飞[在线DVD租赁商]账号
[05:55] – Wait, what? – You told Pierce that? -等下 搞毛 -你告诉皮尔斯了
[05:57] You logged in at our place 你在我们家登陆之后
[05:58] and never logged out, so we use it. 一直没退 我们就接着用了
[05:59] Is that why my review of the grey 我的差评老是在变
[06:01] is constantly changing? 原来是你干的
[06:02] Yes, stop giving it four stars. 对 别给四星了
[06:03] I like Liam Neeson! 我超爱利亚姆·尼森[辛德勒名单主演]
[06:04] Then send him a message about the roles he chooses. 那请转告他挑角色的时候长点心吧
[06:06] Look, this is not the issue! You’re stealing from me! 问题不是这个 你这是盗窃行为
[06:08] And as your roommate, you’re making me an accomplice. 作为你的室友 你把我也变成了从犯
[06:11] – I had no idea. – Lie. -事实上我毫不知情 -撒谎
[06:12] Why would I even try that? 我干嘛要跟高科技较劲呐
[06:14] State your name please, Miss. 姑娘 你的全名
[06:15] Annie Edison. 安妮·埃迪生
[06:16] Miss Edison, did you use your exceptional intelligence 埃迪生小姐 你是否用你过人的智慧
[06:19] and organizational skills to plot the foolproof murder 和杰出的组织技巧密谋了一次简单白目的谋杀
[06:21] of Pierce Hawthorne? 杀死了皮尔斯·霍桑
[06:22] Aww! And no. 哎哟 没有啦
[06:25] Is it true that you overcharged Troy and Abed 你是否向特洛伊和阿布蒂
[06:26] for their share of the rent? 收取了过高的租金
[06:29] Pierce! 死皮尔斯
[06:30] Annie? 安妮
[06:31] Yes, but for a good reason. 是的 但我有正当原因
[06:33] You guys know you’re bad with money. 你们不会理财
[06:35] I padded your share of the rent by $10 我从你们的租金里抽取10刀
[06:37] and I’ve been putting it into a savings account 然后存进银行
[06:39] that yields 4%. 有4%的收益呢
[06:40] You’ll be thanking me in six years 六年后你们发现账户里有86刀的时候
[06:42] when you find out you have $86. 就会感谢我了
[06:44] That’s jacket money. 够买一件夹克呢
[06:46] Oh, did you hear that, Abed? 听到了吗 阿布蒂
[06:47] We’ve been washing paper plates and making our own toothpaste. 虽然我们现在洗纸盘 自制牙膏
[06:50] But don’t you worry. 但别着急
[06:51] When we have robot bodies on the moon, 等机器人登上月球
[06:52] we can share a free jacket. 我们就能同穿一件免费的夹克了
[06:54] Annie, you should know better than to horde money. 安妮 除了圈钱你真该干点别的啊
[06:56] That’s a stereotype. 真是一成不变
[06:57] – Was that anti-semitism? – No! That’s sensitivity. -这是反犹太主义吗 -不 是太敏感
[07:00] It’s anti-semitic to do things like that 明知道自己是犹太人还这么做
[07:02] when you know full well you’re jewish. 这才是反犹太呢
[07:04] We could have bought a tire 我们可以拿那钱买个轮胎
[07:06] for our tire swing with that money. 做轮胎秋千呢
[07:07] Or your own Netflix account? 或者自己注册个奈飞账号
[07:09] – Liam Neeson? Not that great. – Your rating system is flawed. -利亚姆·尼森一般般 -你根本不会打分
[07:14] All right! 好了
[07:18] Let’s begin. 开始吧
[07:19] Wait, wait. 等等
[07:21] What do you mean, “begin”? 你说「开始」是什么意思
[07:22] That completes the calibration round of questioning. 第一轮校准问答结束
[07:24] We’re ready to begin the formal inquest. 我们可以开始正式讯问了
[07:26] I think we’re ready to end. 我觉得可以结束了
[07:27] We’ve humored this long enough. 我们忍够了
[07:28] Jeff…It’s for Pierce. 杰夫 都是为了皮尔斯
[07:31] Look, respect for the dead is only a thing 尊重逝者只是因为
[07:33] because the dead usually don’t do any more damage. 他不会再给我们带来伤害了
[07:36] That’s true. 真理啊
[07:37] You can quit any time you like. 不能由着你们想走就走
[07:39] But it should be noted that Mr. Hawthorne’s estate 不过我应告知你们霍桑先生的资产价值
[07:41] is worth over $20 million 超过2000万美元
[07:43] and only those cleared of his murder 只有洗清谋杀嫌疑的人
[07:44] can receive their bequeathments. 才能得到遗产
[07:46] I’m only gonna say this once. 我只说一次
[07:48] Clearly, Pierce is trying to lure us into a labyrinth of 显然 皮尔斯想要把我们引入
[07:51] emotional manipulation and strategic instigation. 一场情感操控和战略性教唆的迷宫
[07:54] And I think we’re all smart enough to know 我认为我们有这个判断能力
[07:56] we should quit while we’re not ahead. 知道我们应该在陷得太深前退出
[07:57] – I do believe we should… – Yes, definitely. -我的确这样认为 -是的 没错
[07:59] – Quit while we’re ahead. – Absolutely. -在陷得太深前退出 -绝对的
[08:02] They’re all lying. 他们都在说谎
[08:03] We all know that, you judgmental bitch! 我们心里清楚 你个评判别人的贱人
[08:09] 改良的新佛教 皮尔斯·安纳斯塔西亚·霍桑 五级激光莲座巫师 注意: 内有人类生命 不要打开顶盖
[08:12] Miss Perry, have you eaten at the sandwich shop 派利小姐 你光顾过伯纳德太太和霍桑先生
[08:15] started by Mrs. Bennetter and Mr. Hawthorne? 联手开的三明治店吗
[08:17] Yes. 光顾过
[08:17] And what sandwich would you order from Shirley’s Sandwiches ? 你在雪瑞的店里点什么三明治
[08:20] The only one I can, the helen of soy with no mayo. 唯一的素食三明治 海伦大豆不加蛋黄酱
[08:22] – Helen of soy. – Are you aware that in order -海伦大豆 -你知道雪瑞为了省钱
[08:23] to save money, Shirley stopped using real tofu 不再使用真正的豆腐
[08:26] and replaced it with a midwestern tofu substitute 而是换了中西部的豆腐替代品
[08:29] called “Meatfu”? 「肉腐」
[08:31] Oh, my god! 老天啊
[08:33] It’s still not actually meat…legally. 不是肉 从法律上讲
[08:35] You have never respected anything that I hold sacred! 你从来不尊重我尊崇的东西
[08:39] – I’m sorry! – Shirley, did you know -抱歉 -雪瑞 你知道
[08:41] that Britta was high on marijuana at your son’s baptism? 布雷塔在你儿子洗礼上 吸大麻吸嗨了吗
[08:44] I’m sorry? 啥玩意
[08:45] – Well, no higher than usual. – Not true. -没比平常嗨 -说谎
[08:48] You did drugs in my church? 你在我家教堂吸毒
[08:50] No, I did drugs in the parking lot of your church. 没有 我在你家教堂的停车场吸的毒
[08:53] How else do you expect somebody 不然你要人家
[08:54] to sit through something like that? 怎么熬过这么长时间
[08:55] At least with a bris there’s an element of suspense. 至少犹太割礼还有点紧张气氛
[08:58] Well, next time, I’ll have Cheech and Chong do the warm-up! 那下次 我让「奇昌二人组」暖场好了
[09:01] Guys, these questions are obviously designed 伙计们 这些问题就是为了
[09:03] to turn us against each other. 让我们窝里斗
[09:04] If we want to beat Pierce at his game, 如果我们不想让皮尔斯得逞
[09:06] we have to own up to our mistakes and forgive each other. 我们就得承认错误 并原谅彼此
[09:09] Mr. Winger, is it true that you keep trophies 翁格先生 你收集约炮对象的战利品
[09:11] of your sexual conquests? 是真的吗
[09:13] In a church, Britta? 在教堂吸毒 布雷塔
[09:15] For shame. 丢人
[09:16] It’s where jesus gets his mail. 那是上帝收信的地方
[09:18] Answer the question, Adrian Grody! 回答问题 艾德里安·恶心迪
[09:20] I know what Pierce is referring to. 我知道皮尔斯在指什么
[09:22] I have a box of forgotten items in my apartment. 我公寓里有一箱别人落下的东西
[09:26] I happen to be a single male. Visitors leave things. 我是单身 客人总会落东西
[09:29] Is one of your trophies a pair of Miss Perry’s panties? 其中一个战利品是派利小姐的小内内吗
[09:32] You told me a hawk stole them! 你跟我说是一只鹰偷走的
[09:34] You exploited me and made me believe 你剥削了我 还让我相信
[09:37] in a slightly more magical world. 一个稍稍有魔法的世界的存在
[09:39] If you want to collect women’s underwear, 如果你想收集女人的内衣
[09:40] can’t you just buy them? 直接买不就好了
[09:41] They have to be won in battle. 得是在性斗中赢下的才行
[09:42] Gross! 恶心死了
[09:44] – Jeffrey! – Awesome. -杰夫瑞 -赞
[09:45] I think we can all agree that the gross thing here 我想我们能达成共识最恶心的是
[09:48] is that Pierce is snooping through my stuff. 皮尔斯乱翻我的东西
[09:49] Not really, Abed and I go through your stuff all the time. 不怎么恶心 我和阿布蒂经常翻你东西
[09:51] Why do you keep bread in the freezer? 你为什么把面包放冰箱里
[09:53] And why does your bathroom mirror say, 为什么一起雾 你洗手间镜子上会出现
[09:54] “You’re special,” when you fog it up? 「你很特别」的字样
[09:55] Look, I don’t have to answer these– 我不必回答这些问
[09:57] – You took a shower? – Yeah. -你还进去冲澡了 -是的
[09:58] – Mr. Barnes. – Okay! I did it! -巴恩斯先生 -好吧 是我干的
[10:00] Okay? I killed Pierce! 是我杀了皮尔斯
[10:01] – Lie. – Okay, good. -说谎 -很好
[10:03] Just making sure. 就是确定一下
[10:04] You and Abed Nadir have a specialized, 你和阿布蒂是有一种特殊
[10:06] exclusive handshake that you refuse to do with your other friends? 专有的握手吗 从不对其他朋友使用
[10:09] Absolutely. 当然
[10:10] Mr. Barnes, did you invent that handshake? 巴恩斯先生 是你创造的这种握手吗
[10:13] Yes. 是的
[10:14] Lie. 说谎
[10:15] Mr. Barnes, are you a subscriber 巴恩斯先生 你是订阅了
[10:17] to the video blog “Fun For Friends”? 「朋友好有趣」播客吗
[10:19] – No. – Lie. -没有 -说谎
[10:20] Silence, witch! 安静 你个巫婆
[10:23] Hi, I’m Kevin, 嗨 我是凯文
[10:24] this is Kyle, and here’s a fun handshake 他是凯尔 教给大家一种
[10:26] you can do with your best friend. 跟最好朋友握手的有趣方式
[10:29] All right! Thanks for watching, guys. 好了 感谢收看
[10:31] Don’t forget to rate us, comment, and subscribe. 别忘了点赞 评论 订阅
[10:34] Can’t look at you right now. 没法正视你
[10:35] Then you should know I’m crying. 那你应该知道我泪流满面
[10:36] I forgive you, but only to escape the established pattern 我原谅你 不过只是为了避免落入
[10:38] of self-righteous indignation followed by immediate comeuppance. 「自以为是的愤慨后立即现世报」的固有模式
[10:41] Mr. Nadir. 纳德尔先生
[10:42] Okay, I guess it’s happening anyway. 好吧 该来的终会来
[10:43] You broke my heart. Continue. 你伤了我的心 继续
[10:45] Is it true that you planted geo-trafficking devices 你在小组每个人身上放置了定位追踪装置
[10:47] on everyone in the group so that you would know 以便知晓每个人随时随刻的所处位置
[10:48] – where they are at all times? – Yes. -是不是真的 -是的
[10:53] Okay, you guys are changing your faces. 你们怎么变脸了
[10:54] Are you mad at me or hungry? 生我气还是饿了
[10:55] You’re tracking us? 你在追踪我们
[10:57] We’re mad at you, Abed. 我们生你气 阿布蒂
[10:58] – Why? – Because we already live -为什么 -因为我们已经
[11:00] in a totalitarian surveillance state. 生活在一个被极权主义监控的环境下
[11:03] Do you not read my status updates? 难道你从来不看我的状态更新吗
[11:05] But I’m not the government. I’m your friend. 但我不是政府 我是你的朋友
[11:06] That’s what governments say, nimrod. 政府就是这么说的 大猎手
[11:08] It’s cool. When one of you gets kidnapped, 挺酷的 当你们谁被绑架的时候
[11:10] you’ll be glad you don’t have to count 你们就不用在车厢里
[11:12] the bumps on the highway from the trunk of the car. 数高速公路上的减速带了
[11:13] Are those blinking dots us? 那些一闪一闪的点是我们吗
[11:15] Well, what’s this one all the way to the side? 那个在边上的点是什么
[11:17] That’s where Pierce is buried. 那是皮尔斯下葬的地方
[11:20] Is that why you were spending so much time by the coffin? 你在棺材前呆那么长时间就是为了这个东西吗
[11:24] I was trying to get it back. They’re expensive. 我想拿回来 那东西很贵的
[11:25] And he’s not moving anymore. 反正他不会再移动了
[11:26] Abed, where did you plant these things? 阿布蒂 你把跟踪器藏哪儿了
[11:29] If it makes you feel any better, you’ll never find them. 你们找不着的 这么说你们会开心点吧
[11:30] I know you know it’s wrong to do that without telling us. 我知道你明知自己不该未经我们同意就这么做
[11:34] – Shame on you! – Okay, I’m ashamed. -你真不要脸 -好吧 我承认
[11:36] – Lie. – Lie. -说谎 -说谎
[11:37] Miss Edison, is it true you once secretly dosed 埃迪生小姐 你是否曾给小组成员
[11:39] The members of your study group 偷偷服用过
[11:41] With a pharmaceutical amphetamine? 安非他明[抗抑郁药]
[11:47] – Oh, uh, yes, kind of. – What? -内啥 貌似 有过吧 -神马
[11:49] It sounds worse on paper than it was. 它的副作用没有说明书说的那么可怕啦
[11:52] We were cramming for the anthro final. 当时我们正在复习人类学的期末考
[11:54] Everyone was falling asleep. 但大家都昏昏欲睡
[11:55] I put 5 milligrams of something-something 我只在你们的咖啡里
[11:58] In your coffees and we all got an “A.” 加了5毫升的那东西 然后大家都考了A
[11:59] Done! 就这样
[12:00] I’m a bad person for tracking your location, 就因为跟踪定位你们 我被当作坏人
[12:01] But you altered my brain chemistry? 但你肆意改变了我的脑化学反应
[12:03] I was up for three days that week. 那周我亢奋了整整3天
[12:05] I invented an entire language, 我甚至创造出了一门语言
[12:06] You fliztbarping gitzgorg. 你这个…[请见《阿布蒂词典》]
[12:08] – I’m sorry. – You messed with my brain. -对不起 -你损伤了我的大脑
[12:09] That’s a big deal. This is a big deal. 你摊上事了 摊上大事了
[12:11] I don’t mess with your brain, Annie. 我可不会伤害你的身心 安妮
[12:12] – You kind of do. – I don’t think I do. -你其实伤害过了 -我不觉得
[12:14] What about her Facebook boyfriend? 她在Facebook上的虚拟男友呢
[12:15] – What? – That’s different. -什么 -这不一样
[12:16] You made a profile for a fake dude 你编造了个虚假的身份
[12:18] And lured her into an online relationship. 还虚情假意地勾引她网恋
[12:20] He’s catfishing you. 他这是个网恋骗子
[12:21] You’re Olympic pole-vaulting hopeful Brent Underjaw? 你就是高额宽颌的奥运撑杆跳种子选手
[12:25] I noticed whenever you were in a relationship, 我发现只要你一恋爱
[12:27] You hummed a lot and made pancakes in the morning. 你就会哼着小曲做煎饼早餐
[12:28] It wasn’t about hurting you. 我并不想伤害你
[12:29] I did what I did in the name of breakfast. 我这么做都是为了早餐
[12:30] I bore my soul to you! 我对你可是掏心掏肺的
[12:34] I told you about my holding hands at disneyland fantasy. 我就连迪士尼梦幻牵手的心事都告诉你了
[12:37] Do you care about people at all, Abed? 你还有点人性么 阿布蒂
[12:40] Answer on the polygraph! 对着测谎仪回答
[12:43] Jeff made me apply for handicapped parking 杰夫叫我申请残疾人专用车位
[12:44] So he can get a better spot. 以方便他停车
[12:46] Britta’s the one that invited Garrett 是布雷塔邀请了盖瑞特
[12:48] To Annie’s birthday party! 参加安妮的生日派对
[12:49] Troy won’t sit on a toilet seat after Jeff! 只要是杰夫坐过的马桶 特洛伊都不愿坐
[12:51] When we’re alone, Shirley refers to you guys 和我独处时 雪瑞把你们叫做
[12:53] As “Those people.” 「那些家伙」
[12:54] Oh! When Annie’s with other females, dude, 和其他人在一起时 安妮会说
[12:55] She calls Jeff her uncle! 杰夫是她叔叔
[12:56] Shirley thinks we’re all going to hell! 雪瑞认为我们都会下地狱
[12:58] – You are all going to hell! – Oh, what? -你们就该下地狱 -所以嘞
[13:04] Guys, stop! 大家 冷静
[13:05] We have to stop letting Pierce do this to us! 不要再让皮尔斯挑拨我们了
[13:08] Mr. Hawthorne hasn’t asked a question 翁格先生 刚才这段时间内
[13:10] In quite some time, Mr. Winger. 霍桑先生并没有发问
[13:13] He’s right. 他说的没错
[13:15] I actually forgot for a second that Pierce was dead. 我差点忘了皮尔斯已经不在了
[13:17] Maybe that’s what he wanted. 也许这正是他想要的
[13:19] Or maybe he wanted us to know 也许他想让我们知道
[13:21] we’re no better off without him. 没有他我们好不到哪里去
[13:22] Or no better than him. 至少没他过得好
[13:26] He kind of nailed it, didn’t he? 他的目的达到了 不是吗
[13:28] I didn’t just masturbate in the study room. 我不仅在自习室「撸过」
[13:31] I masturbated everywhere. 我在所有地方都「撸过」
[13:34] Everywhere! 所有地方
[13:41] Confession is good for the soul. 自白确实有益身心健康
[13:44] You should try it sometime. 你们有空也试试
[13:51] There’s another round of questions if you’d like to continue. 如果你们不反对 我还有一些问题
[13:54] You want to give us a moment to sit in our own filth 你之前激起的公粪[愤]我们还没弄干净
[13:57] Before you heap another bucket on us? 你居然还敢继续接着来
[13:58] It’s strange after all these years 我们都认识了那么多年
[14:00] How much we’ve kept hidden from each other. 却还藏着掖着这么多秘密
[14:02] You’d think by now we would have learned to be better people. 本以为我们早该进步成更好的人了
[14:05] I think we got into this mess by thinking 就因为我们以为有「更好的自己」存在
[14:06] there was such a thing as better people. 我们才会落得这般田地
[14:10] Wait. That’s it. 等等 我懂了
[14:13] If we’re no better than Pierce, 如果我们并不比皮尔斯好
[14:14] and Pierce is no worse than us, then that means 而皮尔斯也不比我们坏 这说明
[14:17] nobody’s really that bad. 一开始就没有所谓的坏人
[14:19] So what if we’re willing to suffer and inflict pain 就算我们是为了蝇头小利
[14:22] at the mere prospect of material reward? 而不惜令他人和自己痛苦 这又如何
[14:25] If we stop now, that doesn’t make us better. 即使现在改邪归正 我们也不会变得更好
[14:27] It just makes us so dishonest that we would rather be poor 那么做只会令我们变得伪善
[14:30] Than admit we’re flawed. 我们宁愿装穷 都不愿承认自己装逼
[14:32] Pierce admitted he was flawed, and he died rich. 但皮尔斯既没装逼 也不用装穷
[14:36] Let’s celebrate his life and death in the honest way, 让我们诚实地为他悼念
[14:40] Not by saying fake nice things around a casket, 与其在棺材边假惺惺地说好话
[14:42] But by admitting we’re monsters 还不如承认「人不为己天诛地灭」
[14:45] And clawing joyfully for some of his cash. 并理直气壮地偷花一点他的钱
[14:48] So does anybody have anything left before we continue? 继续问答之前 大家还有想说的吗
[14:52] Let’s empty our tanks of lies once and for all. 所有的谎话就在这儿一吐为快吧
[14:56] I’m Jeff winger, and if I had my choice, 我是杰夫·翁格 如果让我选的话
[14:59] I would rather look at myself naked 我宁愿看自己的裸体
[15:00] Than the women I sleep with. 也不要看枕边那个人的
[15:03] I’m the one who hit Jeff’s Lexus in the parking lot. 是我在停车场撞坏了杰夫的雷克萨斯
[15:05] It wasn’t a taco truck, and it was racist of me 不是卖墨西哥卷的小哥撞的
[15:08] to improvise such an ethnically specific vehicle. 我更不该编这种带种族歧视的谎话
[15:10] I only give money to homeless people 只有当身边有人同行时
[15:11] when I’m walking with someone. 我才会施舍零钱给流浪汉
[15:13] I’ve never been to Legoland. 我从没去过乐高主题乐园
[15:15] I just wanted you guys to think I was cool. 我只想让你们觉得我很酷
[15:17] I can be passive-aggressive sometimes. 我有时会消极对抗
[15:20] Don’t everybody disagree at once. 竟然没人反驳我
[15:22] Oh, Lord, I did it again. 老天 我又来了
[15:23] When any of you chew gum, I want to punch you. 只要有人嚼口香糖 我就想抽他
[15:25] You may as well have submachine guns in your mouths. 嚼口香糖好比在嘴里开冲锋枪
[15:26] It vibrates my skull. 嚼得我头骨乱颤
[15:28] Everybody clear? All right. 大家都说完了吗 好的
[15:31] Mr. Stone, hit us with your grand finale. 斯通先生 开始提问吧
[15:34] May it be as brutal as we deserve. 让各种问题来得更猛烈些吧
[15:37] Very well. 很好
[15:38] Mr. Hawthorne’s final round of questions. 开始霍桑先生的最后一轮提问
[15:41] Britta perry… 布雷塔·派利
[15:43] Do you know that you hate yourself more than you should 你是否知道 你不该如此厌恶自己
[15:45] And that your passion inspired me? 你的激情令我倍受鼓舞
[15:49] No. 不知道
[15:50] That’s true. She didn’t know. 是真话 她不知道
[15:51] To Miss Perry, I leave my ipod nano 给派利小姐我装满歌曲的ipod nano
[15:54] filled with music to take life less seriously by. 可以让生活少些严肃
[15:57] Oh, that’s nice. 太温馨了
[15:59] I also leave you this liquid nitrogen cooled cylinder 还有液氮制冷罐保存的
[16:02] of my hyper-virile sperm 我超级雄壮的精子
[16:03] in case your lesbian lifestyle one day wears out 以免你的女同生活过腻了
[16:06] and you wish to raise an army of geniuses. 寻思着孕育一支天才军团
[16:09] Shirley… 雪瑞
[16:10] Did you know that you are not only a credit 你的贡献不能仅仅造福了
[16:12] to your race and gender, but to our species, 你的种族和性别 更造福了全人类
[16:14] and that I was intimidated by your strength of character 我被你的骨气和商业头脑
[16:16] – and business acumen? – Yes. -深深的震撼了 -必须的
[16:18] To Shirley Bennett, 给雪瑞·伯纳德
[16:19] I leave my spacious timeshare in florida… 我在佛罗里达宽敞的度假别墅
[16:22] Where she can take what’s-his-name 她可以带着某某男子
[16:24] and however many children she has now. 还有生多少孩子就带多少孩子去
[16:26] I also leave you a cylinder of my sperm. 我也给你留了一罐精子
[16:30] Annie Edison… 安妮·埃迪生
[16:32] Did you know that you were always my favorite? 我最爱你了 知道吗
[16:34] You mentioned it once, but– 你提过一次 但是…
[16:35] I leave you this tiara, which you once refused to accept. 我将此皇冠留给你 你曾经拒绝接受过
[16:38] It’s the same tiara I used to wear 这顶皇冠曾是我戴过的
[16:40] when my mother would verbally assault me 当时我妈妈用语言羞辱我
[16:41] for not being a little girl. 说我怎么不是个小姑娘
[16:43] Also sperm. 还有精子
[16:45] Jeff Winger, did you know you’re gay? 杰夫·翁格 你是基佬你知道吗
[16:48] – No. – Agree to disagree. -不是 -保留意见
[16:50] To you, I leave this bottle of fine scotch 给你 这瓶上好的威士忌
[16:52] So that you’re less tempted to drink 这样你就不会喝
[16:54] this cylinderof even finer sperm. 我这罐上好的精子
[16:57] Abed Nadir, did you know that you are insane 阿布蒂·纳德尔 你是个疯子 你知道吗
[16:59] and nothing that you said ever made any sense to me? 你说的话我从来没听懂过
[17:02] – Yep. – Here’s your sperm. -对 -给你精子
[17:04] Troy Barnes, did you know that you possess 特洛伊·巴恩斯 你现在正在享受
[17:07] the greatest gift life can give– 生命能给予的最棒的礼物
[17:09] The heart of a hero– and that it’s up to you 英雄之心 是否像我一样将它浪费掉
[17:12] not to waste it like I did? 取决于你的决定 懂了吗
[17:15] I think. 似乎懂了
[17:17] To Troy, I leave the obligatory sperm. 给特洛伊 义不容辞地将我的精子留给你
[17:21] Maybe it’s because everyone else got one, 可能是每个人都有一罐
[17:23] And because it’s an old man’s semen, 也可能因为这是老男人的精液
[17:26] but, um, I’m kind of disappointed. 可是 我有点失望
[17:30] In addition, I am prepared to leave Troy Barnes 除此之外 我准备将我所有的
[17:32] my remaining shares in the hawthorne wipes company, 霍桑纸巾公司的股份给特洛伊·巴恩斯
[17:35] currently valued at $14.3 million. 目前价值1430万美元
[17:40] On one condition. 只有一个条件
[17:42] You must first sail my boat, the Childish Tycoon, 首先你要驾驶我的船 幼稚大富翁号
[17:45] by yourself around the entire world. 独自环游全世界
[17:48] What? 什么
[17:49] Again with the bait and switch. 又是诱导转向法
[17:50] When I was 23, 我23岁的时候
[17:51] my father asked me to do the same thing 我的父亲让我做同样的事
[17:53] to earn my adulthood and his fortune. 让我获得成熟 获得他的财富
[17:55] Of course I cheated and floated off the coast of belize 当然我作弊航行到伯利兹沿海
[17:58] for a year doing coke with John Denver. 跟约翰·丹佛吸了一年大麻
[17:59] I always regretted it. 我一直都很后悔
[18:01] I’d like to give you a chance to do what I never did: 想给你一个完成我从来没有做到的机会
[18:05] Become your own man. 独立成人做真汉子
[18:07] Okay, I’m a lawyer, Troy. 好 我是一名律师 特洛伊
[18:09] It should be possible 完全可以
[18:10] to contest these conditions as unreasonable… 对这些无理条件提出质疑…
[18:13] – I’ll do it. – And Pierce can take his mind games -我会完成 -这样皮尔斯的各种计谋
[18:14] – and his sperm and he can put– – I’ll do it. -和他的精子都可以… -我会完成
[18:17] What? 什么
[18:20] Troy? 特洛伊
[18:21] Pierce was a crazy old coot, yeah, 皮尔斯是个老疯头子 没错
[18:23] But I think he knew something about me 但是我觉得他了解我
[18:25] that even I didn’t know until now. 有些东西我以前都没意识到
[18:28] Because he’s offering me something 而且他要给我一些
[18:29] I’ve been searching for my whole life. 我终其一生追求的东西
[18:35] Millions of dollars. 成千百万美元
[18:38] And being a man or whatever he said. 还有成为 他刚刚说的那种真汉子
[18:41] Jeff, say something. 杰夫 快说两句
[18:46] I’m speechless. 我哑口无言
[18:49] Somebody say something! 谁来说两句
[18:51] Abed? 阿布蒂
[18:56] Cool. Cool, cool, cool. 酷 酷酷酷
[19:00] That’s a lie. 谎话
[19:12] And that sperm came down. 结果那精子一出来
[19:14] I couldn’t say anything! . 我又不能说别的
[19:16] But oh, my God! I was gonna explode! 我的老天爷啊 我要炸了
[19:20] And then that one, that last question, 还有那个 最后一轮问题
[19:22] with all of that nice stuff out on the table, 所有的好东西都放到台面上了
[19:25] and you guys were having this discussion 你们几个还在讨论
[19:27] about whether or not to quit? 要不要放弃
[19:28] At first, I was like, “Aaaaah!” 最开始我想的是 啊啊啊啊
[19:31] But you did it! 但是你做到了
[19:32] You did it! 你做到了
[19:33] It was amazing! 太棒了
[19:35] You’re amazing, man! You’re amazing! 你真是太棒了 哥们 你太棒了
[19:38] Guys, this is the best. 同志们 这真是太好了
[19:40] We should do this every week. 我们每周来一次吧
[19:42] Oh, I’m a fun guy, you know? 我真人很幽默吧 是不是
[19:44] I mean, you talk about lying. 你们还说撒谎
[19:47] I was lying the whole time. 我一直都在撒谎啊
[19:48] This is who I really am. This is me. 这才是我的样子 这才是我
[19:50] This is the real me. I’m artistic. 这才是真的我 我是艺术家
[19:52] Ideas come to me all the time. 创意如尿崩 源源不断
[19:56] I have this idea for a movie. 我有一个电影的创意
[19:58] It’s about this guy who oversees polygraph tests, 是关于一个监视测谎测试的人
[20:01] and the biggest obstacle is how good-looking he is. 他最大的阻碍 是他英俊的面容
[20:04] People can’t focus and tell the truth. 让人们没办法集中注意力说真话
[20:06] It’s unbelievable. 不可思议啊
[20:08] By the way, uh, 顺便问一下
[20:09] we never found out how Pierce died. 我们一直不知道皮尔斯是怎么死的
[20:12] Oh, my God. 我的天啊
[20:13] I can’t believe I didn’t tell you yet. 我居然没跟你们说
[20:15] It was dehydration from filling up all of those cylinders. 是精尽而亡 为了灌满给你们的罐子
[20:19] I mean, it’s how I want to go, but, hey, I’m a little nutty. 我也想这么个死法 但咱还是很有料的
[20:25] Are you guys thinking what I’m thinking? 你们想的和我一样 对不对
[20:27] Shots! 上酒
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废柴联盟(Community)剧集台词目录:
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S01E09
S01E10
S01E11
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S01E13
S01E14
S01E15
S01E16
S01E17
S01E18
S01E19
S01E20
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S01E22
S01E23
S01E24
S01E25

在线阅读
S02E01
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S02E18
S02E19
S02E20
S02E21
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S02E23
S02E24

在线阅读
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
S03E04
S03E05
S03E06
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S03E08
S03E09
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S03E22
S04E01
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S05E01
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S05E05
S05E06
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S05E09
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S05E11
S05E12
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在线阅读
S06E01
S06E02
S06E03
S06E04
S06E05
S06E06
S06E07
S06E08
S06E09
S06E10
S06E11
S06E12
S06E13

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