| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:08] | Please stay for complimentary saltines and full-price sodas. | 稍后会有免费咸饼干和全价苏打水供应 |
| [00:12] | But first, the dulcet tones of the Bennett boys. | 不过请先欣赏伯纳德家男孩的优美演唱 |
| [00:17] | * When you were here before * | *你曾来到这里* |
| [00:22] | * Couldn’t look you in the eye * | *无法正视你的双眼* |
| [00:28] | * You’re just like an angel * | *你宛如天使* |
| [00:33] | * Your skin makes me cry * | *你的肌肤让我哭泣* |
| [00:34] | Bro, free crackers. | 兄弟 有免费饼干吃 |
| [00:36] | Want to spend your life opening lockers? | 你想一辈子开储物柜吗 |
| [00:37] | You don’t have to raise your voice! | 别冲我吼了行不行 |
| [00:38] | I’m going as fast as I can! | 我已经尽力加速了 |
| [00:40] | * You float like a feather * | *你像羽毛般轻盈* |
| [00:44] | Oh, great, now I have these folders to deal with! | 现在我又得处理这些文件夹了 |
| [00:46] | * In a beautiful world * | *在这美丽的世界* |
| [00:47] | And too, pencil? | 还有铅笔 |
| [00:50] | When it rains, it pours. | 真是喝凉水都塞牙 |
| [00:53] | * I wish I was special * | *希望自己更特别* |
| [01:04] | Ass Crack Bandit! | 投菊大盗来了 |
| [01:20] | 「温泉便溺者被捕」 恶心 变态 滚 | |
| [01:24] | 人类以4比21惨败 第七局出现投菊事件 比赛遭破坏 | |
| [01:27] | 「一年后: 投菊大盗已成迷」 周三是校园投菊事件纪念日 | |
| [01:40] | Let’s settle down! | 安静点 |
| [01:42] | Guys, what is known… | 各位 目前… |
| [01:43] | What’s known is that around noon yesterday, | 目前已知情况是 昨天午时左右 |
| [01:47] | an unidentified student dropped a coin | 某不明身份的学生将一枚硬币 |
| [01:49] | in another student’s, you know, upper buttock fold. | 投进了另一名学生的 臀部股沟 |
| [01:53] | Yes, yes. | 你问 |
| [01:54] | Gwen Ridley, Greendale Gazette. | 我是格温·雷利 来自「格林德尔公报」 |
| [01:56] | Is this the return of the Ass Crack Bandit? | 请问这次事件是不是投菊大盗的回归 |
| [01:58] | Okay, that person, Gwen, if he ever existed, | 雷利 所谓的投菊大盗 如果存在的话 |
| [02:01] | stopped being active over a year ago. | 早在一年多以前就不再活动了 |
| [02:04] | Yeah. | 你说 |
| [02:04] | Tim Briggs, Greendale Mirror. | 我叫提姆·布瑞格 来自「格林德尔镜报」 |
| [02:06] | Is it true that after the attack, | 据说事件发生后 |
| [02:07] | you received a letter from the Ass Crack Bandit? | 您收到了投菊大盗的来信 是否属实 |
| [02:09] | I never said that, Tim, | 我没这么说过 提姆 |
| [02:11] | and when did we split the Gazette from the Mirror? | 还有 公报什么时候和镜报分开了 |
| [02:13] | And how many photographs do you people need? | 你们到底要拍多少照片 |
| [02:15] | Raul Lopez, Las Noticias Hispanicas de Greendale. | 劳尔·洛佩兹 「格林德尔新闻南美版」 |
| [02:17] | Will this affect soccer? | 此事对足球有影响吗 |
| [02:20] | We did, in fact, receive a letter an hour after the incident | 事发一小时后 我们的确收到一封信 |
| [02:23] | including details not known to the public | 里面写了一些鲜为人知的细节 |
| [02:26] | about the brand of Garrett’s underwear. | 比如加瑞特的内衣品牌 |
| [02:29] | Hanes his ways. | 他穿「恒适」 |
| [02:31] | “I am the Ass Crack Bandit. | 「我是投菊大盗 |
| [02:33] | “Humans make better banks than piggies. | 人类做银行比小猪储钱罐强 |
| [02:35] | “Whenever I get more change at the store, | 我一在商店拿到零钱 |
| [02:37] | “I can’t wait to drop it down your butts. | 就迫不及待地投进你的菊花 |
| [02:39] | “I think I will go to the bank and get so much change | 我会去银行换很多零钱 |
| [02:42] | “and take all my dollars and make them into change | 把我所有钱都换成零钱 |
| [02:44] | and drop it all down there.” | 全部投入菊花深处」 |
| [02:45] | He should be called “The Run-on Sentence bandit.” | 他应该叫「啰里啰嗦大盗」 |
| [02:47] | From this moment, people, we are at Defcon 4… | 从现在开始 我们将进入四级戒备 |
| [02:50] | if that’s the highest defcon, | 如果四级是最高级 |
| [02:51] | and if high defcons are worse than low ones. | 而且级数越高越严重的话 |
| [02:53] | Ah, you all remember psychology professor Duncan. | 你们还记得心理学教授邓肯吧 |
| [02:56] | Hey, buddy. Where’d you go? | 兄弟你好啊 去哪玩儿了 |
| [02:57] | I was taking care of my sick mother. | 我妈生病 我去照顾了 |
| [02:59] | She’s still alive, but I’ve put in my time. | 她还活着 不过我尽孝了 |
| [03:02] | Britta. | 布雷塔 |
| [03:03] | Oh, Pierce, good for you. | 皮尔斯 真不错 |
| [03:04] | I always thought that hairpiece was a bit cowardly. | 我原来就觉得那个发型显得很懦夫 |
| [03:07] | Duncan is going to help us | 邓肯会帮助我们 |
| [03:09] | work up something called a “Profile,” | 建立一份嫌疑人「剖绘」 |
| [03:11] | so we can root this student out. | 这样就可以找到这名学生了 |
| [03:13] | For the record, | 声明一下 |
| [03:14] | I tried to get something done about this two years ago. | 这种事两年前我也有试过哦 |
| [03:16] | This is not about you, Annie. This is about the school. | 这次跟你无关 安妮 这次事关学校 |
| [03:19] | This is the biggest P.R. crisis to hit Greendale | 格林德尔面临着巨大的舆论压力 |
| [03:21] | since we held that rally protesting the wrong Korea. | 上一次是示威抗议 弄混了南北朝鲜 |
| [03:24] | Jeffrey, how can you help? | 杰夫瑞 你有什么打算 |
| [03:26] | I’ll take a look at the whole picture, | 我会纵观全局 |
| [03:28] | see if any pieces match up. | 看看有没有相似的线索 |
| [03:30] | Double fruit bonus. | 双色水果奖励 |
| [03:33] | Crikey! Kiwi combo, mate. | 哇哦 奇异果连击 |
| [03:36] | I took a map of the campus and | 我在学校地图上 |
| [03:39] | pinpointed all the locations of the Ass Crack Bandit strikes. | 标出了投菊大盗出手的所有地点 |
| [03:41] | You can’t handle the fruit. | 你无法处理水果 |
| [03:42] | During the bandit’s most daring spree, | 大盗最猖狂的时候 |
| [03:45] | he cracked three people in a row. | 连续袭击了三名学生 |
| [03:47] | Today, I sprinted between all three sites. | 今天 我试着跑遍了这三个地方 |
| [03:50] | My quickest time was 20 minutes. | 我最快的记录是二十分钟 |
| [03:53] | The A.C.B. did it in 10. | 而大盗十分钟就做到了 |
| [03:54] | So he’s got long legs. | 所以他的腿很长 |
| [03:55] | I think he has something I don’t…a shortcut. | 也许他还抄了近道 而我不知道 |
| [03:58] | The faculty lounge. | 教员休息室 |
| [03:59] | You think the bandit’s a teacher? | 你觉得那个大盗是老师 |
| [04:01] | The Dean’s not gonna help me pursue this. | 校长肯定不会帮我进行调查的 |
| [04:03] | I need help. | 我需要帮助 |
| [04:04] | Pineapple penalty, fool! | 你被菠萝惩罚了 笨蛋 |
| [04:05] | No! Unfair and racist. | 讨厌 不公平歧视人嘛 |
| [04:08] | Look, no way, Annie. | 不行 安妮 |
| [04:10] | Look, the faculty already hates me, | 教职工已经很讨厌我了 |
| [04:11] | and the Dean signs my paychecks. | 而我的工资都是校长发的 |
| [04:12] | But this is important! | 可这件事很重要 |
| [04:13] | I can assure you that’s not true. | 我向你保证 这事儿不重要 |
| [04:15] | Fruit, fruit, fruit, fruit, fruit! | 水果水果 水果水果 |
| [04:17] | Collect the seeds, sucka! | 收集种子啊 废物 |
| [04:19] | After the tone, please leave a message. | 听到声音后 请留言 |
| [04:21] | Hey, Abed. Lab ran late. | 阿布蒂 实验进行得有点晚 |
| [04:24] | What’d Annie get us for dinner? | 安妮会给我们准备什么晚饭呢 |
| [04:25] | I hope it’s not salad again. | 但愿别又是沙拉了 |
| [04:29] | I’d rather just stop at the meat store. | 我宁愿去趟肉店 |
| [04:35] | All right. Talk to you later. | 好 回头聊 |
| [04:46] | Well, hello. | 你好呀 |
| [04:56] | Will you stop with the cups and the blankets? | 递水披毛毯什么的拜托能消停会儿吗 |
| [04:59] | This is how they comfort victims in movies. | 我这安慰受害者呢 电影里都这么演的 |
| [05:01] | Okay, I am hereby banning change from this campus. | 够了 我特此声明校园里禁用零钱 |
| [05:04] | You really think that’s an effective… | 你真觉得这样有用吗 |
| [05:05] | Well, guess what, your two cents is change, | 你那两分钱也是零钱 |
| [05:07] | and it’s banned. | 现在不能用了 |
| [05:08] | Got something. | 有发现 |
| [05:15] | Frankie, somebody get me a bag. | 小弗 给我拿个袋子来 |
| [05:16] | Oh, give me that. | 给我 |
| [05:19] | “I hope you enjoyed my work again. | 我的大作 还望喜欢 |
| [05:20] | You can’t stop me, because what are you gonna do, | 你们阻止不了我的 你们能怎么做呢 |
| [05:22] | not have butts?”. | 舍菊缉盗吗 |
| [05:24] | Dean, I think it’s a teacher. | 院长 我觉得是老师干的 |
| [05:26] | – I beg your what? – I have evidence that shows… | -你说什么 -我有证据显示 |
| [05:28] | Yeah, and I have evidence that shows I’m not listening. | 我也有证据表明我没在听 |
| [05:30] | Exhibit “A,” Exhibit “B.” La la la la la la. | 证据一 证据二 啦啦啦 |
| [05:32] | This is never gonna end | 如果你为了政治罔顾正义 |
| [05:33] | if you keep choosing politics over justice. | 这件事永远不会完的 |
| [05:35] | Okay, you want to make trouble? | 想闹事吗 |
| [05:36] | Go to Parker Brothers. You’re out. | 去帕克兄弟公司 你被开除了 |
| [05:41] | Take it easy. | 淡定 |
| [05:43] | Taking it easy is how Troy ended up | 还淡定 特洛伊就是这么 |
| [05:45] | with a quarter of a buck in his crack. | 菊花沟里被投了硬币 |
| [05:47] | Annie, nobody’s asking you to do this… | 安妮 没人让你做这些 |
| [05:49] | Jeff, come on! You know how this school works. | 杰夫 这破学校你还不清楚吗 |
| [05:51] | We do it, or it doesn’t get done. | 如果我们不出手 这事就永远没完 |
| [05:53] | The men on our coins understood that. | 投硬币的家伙都了解 |
| [05:56] | Maybe the Ass Crack Bandit’s point | 也许投菊大盗要告诉我们的就是 |
| [05:57] | is that we’re letting our values slide. | 我们让自己的价值也滑向深渊了 |
| [05:59] | Or maybe he’s a frat boy coming from the laundromat. | 也许他不过是自助洗衣店的兄弟会成员 |
| [06:03] | The important question is “Who cares?” | 重点是 「谁在乎丫的」 |
| [06:08] | Look, | 听着 |
| [06:11] | let me know what you need from me… | 要我帮忙就直接说 |
| [06:13] | on the down low. Way down low. | 要低调 必须低调 |
| [06:16] | …and no squealing. | 不许鬼叫 |
| [06:20] | Okay, squeal. | 你还是叫吧 |
| [06:26] | Real Neil here, | 我是真相帝尼尔 |
| [06:27] | five days into the return of the Ass Crack Bandit. | 投菊大盗兴风作浪之第五天 |
| [06:30] | It’s alive! | 血淋淋的现实啊 |
| [06:32] | Since we last spoke, | 自上次之后 |
| [06:33] | three more victims have caught the quarter, | 又有三名受害人被投菊 |
| [06:35] | with no end in sight. | 此痛绵绵无绝期啊 |
| [06:37] | Safety pants, 100 bucks a pop. | 安全裤 一百块一件 |
| [06:39] | All sandwiches $5. | 三明治全场五刀 |
| [06:40] | Sorry, no change. Blame the bandit. | 抱歉不找零 要怪就怪投菊大盗 |
| [06:42] | Here’s a song that’s been shooting up the request line | 这首主题曲的大众传播速度 |
| [06:45] | faster than coins are dropping. | 比硬币滑落的速度还快 |
| [06:46] | * It said quarter to five, but it was quarter to ass * | *你说是25分币 其实是投菊之币* |
| [06:50] | * You thought your plumbing was safe * | *你以为你的菊花很安全* |
| [06:52] | * But your jeans were half-mast * | *可你的裤子让菊门开了一半* |
| [06:54] | * Another coin down the drain * | *又一枚硬币投入菊瓣* |
| [06:57] | * Now, that’s some change that won’t last* | *如今再也没人找零钱* |
| [07:00] | The nature of the Ass Crack Bandit’s crimes | 投菊大盗犯罪行为的本质表明 |
| [07:02] | would suggest that he’s angry or just fell in love. | 他要么气疯了要么爱疯了 |
| [07:06] | We know that he hates money or loves it | 他应该恨透或者爱极了硬币 |
| [07:08] | or doesn’t care about money and hates butts or loves them. | 也可能对硬币无感 只是恨透或爱极了菊花 |
| [07:11] | Abed, you’re special. | 阿布蒂 你有异能 |
| [07:12] | Can’t you just stand at the scene of the crime | 能不能站到犯罪现场 |
| [07:15] | and see what happened? | 还原一下案发场景 |
| [07:21] | I see a man… | 我看到一个男人 |
| [07:24] | using a social disorder as a procedural device. | 利用社交障碍为作案手法 |
| [07:27] | Wait, wait, wait, I see another man. | 等等 还有一个男人 |
| [07:30] | Mildly autistic super detectives everywhere. | 到处都是轻微孤僻的超级警探 |
| [07:32] | Basic cable, broadcast networks. | 有线电视 广播网络 |
| [07:35] | Pain. Painful writing. | 好痛 痛苦的文字 |
| [07:40] | It hurts. | 好心疼 |
| [07:43] | Okay, ooh, la la. Hickey, what have you got? | 够了 汉基 你怎么样 |
| [07:45] | Heartburn. It doesn’t help me catch criminals. | 胃灼痛 对我抓捕罪犯没什么帮助 |
| [07:48] | Okay. I didn’t want to take drastic measures, | 我本来不想采取严厉措施的 |
| [07:51] | but I’ve cooked up a little something. | 但我还是鼓捣出来点小玩意 |
| [07:53] | Chang? | 昌 |
| [07:56] | You better put a quarter in that crack, Mr. Bandit. | 大盗先生 来放硬币吧 |
| [07:59] | Professor Hickey. | 汉基教授请吧 |
| [08:09] | Gotcha! | 抓到你啦 |
| [08:11] | whoa! Ha, what do you think? | 不错吧 觉得怎么样 |
| [08:13] | I think this is spending too much money on a crime | 我觉得对每次成本只有25分的犯罪行为来说 |
| [08:16] | that nets you 25 cents a pop. | 你的投入过高 |
| [08:18] | Ah, no, no. This was free. | 不不 这个没花钱 |
| [08:19] | Then I think you just admitted you already owned a fake butt. | 你这是承认你有一个假屁股 |
| [08:25] | “I am the mad hatter, if hats were butts. | 「拿菊花比帽子 我即疯菊花 |
| [08:28] | I am neither left nor right. I am the space between. | 既不左也不右 稳稳当当居中央 |
| [08:31] | To me, you’re all like ants | 我看呐 你们就像行军中的蚂蚁 |
| [08:33] | marching to class, freaks on parade.” | 游行中的怪胎」 |
| [08:35] | I mean, why mix metaphors? Ants don’t have butts. | 搞什么比喻啊 蚂蚁没有屁股的好吗 |
| [08:39] | Wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [08:40] | – Ants do have butts. – No. | -蚂蚁有屁股的 -不是说这个 |
| [08:42] | These are Dave lyrics. | 这是戴夫的歌词 |
| [08:44] | – Dave? – Dave Matthews. | -哪个戴夫 -戴夫·马修斯 |
| [08:45] | Hard-core fans call him Dave. | 死忠粉都叫他戴夫 |
| [08:47] | Oh, excuse me for being alive in the ’90s | 抱歉 我活在90年代 |
| [08:50] | and having two ears connected to a heart. | 我有两个耳朵一颗心 |
| [08:52] | Okay, so all we need to do is assemble a list | 行了 我们要做的就是列个名单 |
| [08:54] | of which Greendale teachers are Dave Matthews fans. | 看看学校老师中谁是戴夫·马修斯的粉丝 |
| [08:56] | Guess we better get to work. | 这就开工吧 |
| [08:58] | 此处模仿电影「七宗罪」 背影音乐 巴赫 「G弦上的咏叹调」 | |
| [09:08] | Done. | 搞定 |
| [09:11] | 「七宗罪」中摩根·弗里曼伴着音乐 在图书馆找了一宿 | |
| [09:11] | Thought that would take longer. | 还以为你要找上一会呢 |
| [09:12] | So please approve the Dean’s new security measure | 请大家支持院长的新安全措施 |
| [09:15] | called “Troy’s Law,” | 「特洛伊法规」 |
| [09:17] | because a camera in the bathroom… | 因为在厕所装摄像头 |
| [09:21] | is better than a quarter in your butt. | 总好过菊花沟中夹硬币 |
| [09:24] | As we’ve seen, the Ass Crack Bandit | 我们现在都清楚了 |
| [09:26] | can be defeated by using the three “B”s: | 只要坚持「三小」就一定能战胜投菊大盗 |
| [09:29] | belts, briefs, and buddies. Good. | 小皮带 小内裤和小伙伴 很好 |
| [09:33] | The bandit always gets his victims when they’re alone. | 独自一人容易受害 |
| [09:37] | Bend over with friends over. | 朋友弯腰你也跟着弯 |
| [09:39] | There’s safety in numbers. | 人多力量大 |
| [09:43] | I got cracked! | 我被投菊了啦 |
| [09:45] | He’s under the bleachers! | 他在座位下面 |
| [09:47] | Everyone remain calm, please! | 大家别慌 |
| [09:50] | All right, free-for-all! | 别乱 |
| [09:53] | Where you been? | 你去哪儿了 |
| [09:54] | I questioned Guterman. We can cross him off. | 我盘问了古特曼 我们可以排除他的嫌疑了 |
| [09:57] | At the time of the first cracking, | 第一起投菊事件发生时 |
| [09:58] | he was chaperoning Greendale’s science dance. | 他正在给格林德尔科学舞会当监督人 |
| [10:00] | The student that attended can vouch for him. | 出席的那个学生可以为他担保作证 |
| [10:02] | I checked out Mrs. Plimpton. | 我查了普林顿夫人 |
| [10:03] | Airtight alibi. She’s dead. | 完美的不在场证明 她死了 |
| [10:05] | Next on my list is this one. | 名单上的下一位是这个 |
| [10:07] | Bublitz. We’re close, I can feel it. | 巴布里茨 我们要破案了 我感觉得到 |
| [10:12] | This extra long churro tastes good in my real mouth. | 这加长油条在我的真嘴里尝起来不错呢 |
| [10:23] | May I help you? | 找我有事吗 |
| [10:24] | We’d like to ask you a few questions if that’s okay. | 如果可以的话 希望问你几个问题 |
| [10:28] | He’s bolting! | 他逃跑了 |
| [10:35] | He’s there! | 他在那 |
| [10:44] | If you’re going to confiscate this, know one thing. | 如果你们要没收这个 要知道 |
| [10:48] | It’s a mild, kind sativa, perfect for playing guitar. | 这是一种温和的大麻 特别适合弹吉他时用 |
| [10:53] | There’s been another… | 又有一起 |
| [10:58] | What the hell? | 搞虾米 |
| [11:00] | Destroying classrooms? | 毁坏教室 |
| [11:01] | Secretly investigating teachers behind my back? | 背着我调查老师 |
| [11:05] | Someone has to investigate the faculty, | 总有人得行动起来 调查全体教员 |
| [11:07] | but you’re like a single-celled organism…no nerve. | 可你就像单细胞生物一样 没种 |
| [11:10] | Annie, you’re suspended. | 安妮 你被停课了 |
| [11:12] | You can’t do that! | 你不能这么做 |
| [11:14] | Don’t tell me what I can’t do. | 我做什么用不着你告诉我 |
| [11:16] | What do you think you are, | 你算哪根葱 |
| [11:17] | Cosmo’s July quiz? | 玩「Cosmo」七月刊小测试吗 |
| [11:18] | She was trying to help you. | 她是想帮你 |
| [11:20] | Let me ask you two something. | 我问你俩一个问题 |
| [11:22] | Let me be, like, the 50th person at this school to ask, | 问过这个问题的算上我都有五十个人了 |
| [11:24] | What is this, huh? | 你们什么情况 |
| [11:27] | – What is this creepy business? – What? | -你们这是搞什么猫腻呢 -什么 |
| [11:29] | I think you two like to partner up on cutesy capers | 我觉得你俩扮可爱联手破案 |
| [11:33] | so you can hold hands in the dark | 是想在黑暗中大手拉小手 |
| [11:35] | and address your urges in semi-acceptable scenarios. | 在半推半就的情节中释放你们的欲望 |
| [11:39] | Whoa, not cool! | 嘿 过界了哦 |
| [11:40] | You not cool! You unprofessional! | 你过界了 你一点都不专业 |
| [11:43] | I’m punishing you, Jeffrey. | 我要惩罚你 杰弗瑞 |
| [11:44] | Starting next week, | 下周开始 |
| [11:45] | you are the new coach of the water polo team. | 你要开始担任水球队的教练 |
| [11:48] | – What? – That’s right. | -什么 -没错 |
| [11:49] | Every morning, in the water… | 每天清晨 在水里 |
| [11:54] | Craig Pelton, Dean and assistant water polo coach. | 克拉格·派尔顿 院长及水球队助理教练 |
| [11:56] | What? | 什么 |
| [11:57] | This is the Ass Crack Bandit. | 我是投菊大盗 |
| [12:00] | I find it funny that you ever thought you could catch me. | 你认为你能抓住我 真是很好笑 |
| [12:03] | Oh, that’s very interesting. Please continue. | 太有趣了 请继续 |
| [12:05] | I’ve enjoyed our game of cat and mouse. | 我很享受我们之间的猫鼠游戏 |
| [12:07] | It’s funny how close your two little helpers came to catching me. | 你的两个小帮手差点抓到我 也挺好玩的 |
| [12:10] | I liked watching them run in circles. | 我喜欢看他们绕圈跑 |
| [12:12] | Although sometimes I wonder, | 尽管有时我在想 |
| [12:13] | are they chasing me as an excuse to get near each other? | 他们来追踪我 是不是在找借口厮混 |
| [12:16] | I mean, get a room already. | 我是说 赶紧开个房吧 |
| [12:18] | We’re friends! | 我们是朋友 |
| [12:20] | Why don’t you tell us where you are, and we’ll discuss it? | 要不你告诉我们你在哪 咱们讨论一下 |
| [12:22] | I am the bringer of change. | 我前来 改天换地 |
| [12:23] | I am the filler of cracks. | 我一出手 投满天下之菊 |
| [12:25] | Oh, that’s very interesting. I myself was in 4H. | 太有趣了 我还是四健会成员呢 |
| [12:30] | Trace the call, Rhonda! | 朗达 追查来电 |
| [12:32] | This means trace the call! | 这代表追查来电 |
| [12:34] | Look at the extension. | 看看分机号 |
| [12:37] | 594. Okay. | 594 好吧 |
| [12:39] | Tracing… | 追查 |
| [12:40] | Tracing. | 追查 |
| [12:43] | Got it, the stables! We have stables? | 找到了 马厩 我们还有马厩哦 |
| [12:45] | Let’s go. | 我们走 |
| [12:52] | – Creepy. – I don’t know. | -好吓人 -还好啦 |
| [12:54] | Add some doilies and a foot bath, | 加上装饰桌巾和足浴 |
| [12:56] | and this is my mom’s house. | 这就是我妈妈家 |
| [13:10] | Mush! Mush! | 驾 驾 |
| [13:12] | Mush! Yah! Mush! | 驾 驾 |
| [13:14] | No, run. Mush! | 跑啊 驾 |
| [13:16] | Starburns? | 星霸 |
| [13:20] | Since faking his death to escape meth charges, | 自从为了逃脱贩毒指控而假死 |
| [13:23] | Alex “Starburns” Osbourne has been living in the stables, | 亚历山大·星霸·奥斯本就一直住在马厩 |
| [13:27] | eating garbage, and trying to build a cat car. | 吃垃圾果腹 试图建造一架喵喵车 |
| [13:30] | He’s also confessed to dropping coins | 他承认把硬币放入 |
| [13:32] | down exposed butt cracks. Case closed. | 暴露的菊花沟中 结案 |
| [13:38] | – High five? – Sure. | -击掌 -好啊 |
| [13:40] | – No. – Oh, American high five. Sorry. | -不 -美国式击掌 抱歉 |
| [14:03] | So much pain. | 太多痛苦 |
| [14:06] | But now it’s time to heal! | 但现在是治愈时刻 |
| [14:07] | You’re all invited to the official | 所有人都被邀请参加 |
| [14:09] | “We caught the Ass Crack Bandit” dance tonight in the cafeteria! | 今晚在食堂举行的「喜获投菊大盗」舞会 |
| [14:19] | Jeff! | 杰夫 |
| [14:20] | There’s no way Starburns did it. | 不可能是星霸干的 |
| [14:21] | Innocent people don’t confess. | 无辜的人是不会认罪的 |
| [14:24] | Are you kidding me? | 你开什么玩笑 |
| [14:25] | You knew it was a teacher. You know that doesn’t add up. | 你知道是老师干的 你知道这说不通 |
| [14:27] | Maybe I was wrong. | 也许我是错的 |
| [14:28] | Or maybe the dean was right about us. | 也许关于咱俩 院长说得对 |
| [14:32] | What? No. | 什么 不 |
| [14:33] | Annie, I took this case because I wanted to help you. | 安妮 我接了这案子 是因为我想帮你 |
| [14:36] | Then what is this? | 那这是干嘛 |
| [14:38] | It’s platonic shoulder holding. | 纯友谊握肩 |
| [14:40] | Look. | 看 |
| [14:42] | Leonard, hello, how are you? | 你好 伦纳德 你怎么样 |
| [14:46] | It’s a guy who puts quarters down butt cracks, Jeff. | 不过是个将硬币投进菊花沟的家伙 杰夫 |
| [14:50] | Let’s just let it go. | 忘了这事吧 |
| [14:58] | We can do better. | 我们能做得更好 |
| [15:06] | Change is money! | 零钱也是钱啊 |
| [15:08] | What are you guys, millionaires? | 你们是百万富翁吗 |
| [15:10] | T-shirts here! Cracked but not broken, huh? | T恤热卖 菊被投 花未碎 |
| [15:13] | Who’s in? T-shirts! | 谁想买 T恤啦 |
| [15:14] | T-shirts here! 20 bucks. | T恤啦 一件20元 |
| [15:21] | – Professor Duncan? – Yeah? | -邓肯教授 -什么事 |
| [15:22] | – Not going to the dance? – I’ll go later. | -不去舞会吗 -等会去 |
| [15:24] | Oh, actually, would you mind coming and getting me | 事实上 你介意待会来叫我吗 |
| [15:26] | when Britta’s drunk? | 等布雷塔喝醉之后 |
| [15:27] | Listen, as Britta’s friend, I should give you this ad… | 作为布雷塔的朋友 我想给你个忠告 |
| [15:31] | Yes! That is my jam right there. | 对头 我最爱的曲子来了 |
| [15:36] | Dave Matthews fan? | 你是戴夫·马修斯的脑残粉 |
| [15:37] | Obviously you’re not. | 显然你不是 |
| [15:39] | Real fans call him Dave. | 真爱粉都叫他戴夫 |
| [15:43] | Bum bum bum | 嘣嘣嘣 |
| [15:44] | I’ve heard this song before. Hey, Winger, who is this? | 我以前听过这首歌耶 翁格 谁唱的 |
| [15:47] | What are you talking about? You don’t know who this is? | 你说什么 你不知道是谁唱的吗 |
| [15:49] | I Remember it from the ’90s. | 我只记得是90年代的歌 |
| [15:50] | * Hee haw haw haw hee haw haw * | 咿嚎 咿嚎 咿嚎 |
| [15:53] | – it’s Dave. – Lee Roth? | -是戴夫 -[戴维]·李·罗斯吗 |
| [15:56] | You’re not the Ass Crack Bandit. | 你不是投菊大盗 |
| [15:57] | Shh! Keep it down, huh? I made a deal with the dean. | 嘘 小点声 我跟院长做了交易 |
| [16:00] | He said as long as I confessed, | 他说只要我认罪 |
| [16:01] | he’d let me slide on the meth stuff, | 他就不管我搞冰毒的事儿 |
| [16:03] | And then he’d buy me a space heater for my stable. | 他还要给我的马厩添个取暖器呢 |
| [16:05] | Yeah, but why call the dean and pretend that… | 那你为什么要给院长打电话 假扮… |
| [16:07] | I didn’t call no dean. | 我没给院长打电话啊 |
| [16:08] | I don’t call nobody don’t call me. | 我谁都不找 也没人找我 |
| [16:12] | I got to go backstage once and meet the whole band, | 我有幸去过一次后台 见了所有乐队成员 |
| [16:15] | Everyone…except Dave. | 所有成员 除了戴夫 |
| [16:17] | There’s a whole album of photos online if you go to… | 网上有一套照片 如果你去… |
| [16:20] | You actually wouldn’t be able to access it. | 你八成登陆不上 |
| [16:22] | I use an older, British form of facebook | 我用的是古老的 英国版「脸书」 |
| [16:25] | called “Mug-scroll.” | 叫「面轴」 |
| [16:33] | – I guess I should be going. – No, no, stay. | -我想我该走了 -别急呀 留步 |
| [16:35] | We’re just getting to know each other. | 咱们这不刚刚熟悉彼此嘛 |
| [16:37] | I really shouldn’t, I have a… | 还是不了 我有事… |
| [16:39] | Oopsie. | 哎哟喂 |
| [16:41] | Aren’t you going to pick those up? | 你不准备捡起来吗 |
| [16:44] | Yes. | 捡啊 |
| [16:49] | Just…reach down with your hand and… | 只需 弯下柳腰一伸手… |
| [17:00] | Bye. | 拜 |
| [17:07] | This is the Ass Crack Bandit. | 我是投菊大盗 |
| [17:09] | I find it funny that you ever thought you could catch me. | 你认为你能抓住我 真是很好笑 |
| [17:12] | Jeff. | 杰夫 |
| [17:14] | It’s Duncan. | 是邓肯 |
| [17:24] | Annie? | 安妮 |
| [17:26] | Jeff? | 杰夫 |
| [17:27] | Very nice. | 很好 |
| [17:30] | Oh, bloody hell, | 喵了个咪的 |
| [17:31] | my shoe is untied by British standards. | 按英国标准 我的鞋带开了 |
| [17:36] | Here we go. | 系好鞋带 |
| [17:36] | One bunny, two bunnies. | 一只小兔兔 两只小兔兔 |
| [17:40] | Oh! Get Britta! | 快找布雷塔啦 |
| [17:41] | Annie! Did Duncan get cracked? | 安妮 邓肯也被投菊了 |
| [17:44] | Where’s the Bandit? Do you see him? | 大盗呢 你看见他了吗 |
| [17:47] | – Over there! – Come on, let’s get him! | -在那儿呢 -快追 逮住他 |
| [17:52] | Shirley, what are you doing? | 雪瑞 你干吗呢 |
| [17:53] | Looking for you. | 找你们呢 |
| [17:55] | Did you see someone come this way? | 你有没有看到谁从这儿跑过去 |
| [17:57] | Jeff, Annie, Pierce is dead. | 杰夫 安妮 皮尔斯死了 |
| [18:08] | Tonight’s celebration was cut short by some tragic news. | 今晚的庆功会因一则悲伤的消息而中止 |
| [18:11] | Pierce Hawthorne, 14-year Greendale student, | 皮尔斯·霍桑 学龄14年的格林德尔学生 |
| [18:14] | Entrepreneur, and expert heart attack faker | 企业家 心脏病发假扮专家 |
| [18:17] | has passed away, for real this time. | 与世长辞 这次是真的 |
| [18:19] | Pierce had been recently banned from campus, | 皮尔斯最近被严禁进入校园 |
| [18:21] | but not from our hearts. | 但这不包括我们的心 |
| [18:23] | He’s survived by many ex-wives | 他将在众多前妻 |
| [18:25] | and all of us here at Greendale that called him friend. | 以及格林德尔 我们这些朋友心中长存 |
| [18:28] | If you’re listening, Pierce, | 如果你在听的话 皮尔斯 |
| [18:30] | you were a hell of a D&D player. | 你曾是「龙与地下城」的废柴玩家 |
| [18:32] | It’s time to level up. | 而这次 你该升级了 |
| [18:34] | Up next on the dial is Dr. Farts. | 下一位则是「放屁博士」 |
| [18:41] | I can’t believe Pierce is gone. | 不敢相信皮尔斯就这么走了 |
| [18:43] | Yeah. Life is weird. | 是啊 人生莫测 |
| [18:48] | It’s a container for all this little stuff, | 人生就是一个容器 装满了各种零碎 |
| [18:51] | and you get caught up in it. | 而你却深陷其中 |
| [18:53] | And then, the container just… | 然后 这个容器突然就… |
| [18:59] | That hallway led to a dead end. | 那个走廊是个死胡同 |
| [19:01] | We might’ve had him. | 我们本可能抓到他的 |
| [19:05] | I should get home. Haven’t slept. | 我该回家了 一直没睡觉 |
| [19:14] | The case goes cold again. | 这个案子又变悬案了 |
| [19:21] | Don’t worry. I got a feeling he’ll be back. | 别担心 我有感觉他一定会回来的 |
| [19:23] | Or her. | 或者是女的她 |
| [19:35] | * 25 at a time he’s taking our souls * | *一次25分钱 他掳走我们的灵魂* |
| [19:40] | * Government men can’t help, we’re all alone * | *政府能奈我何 我们孤立无援* |
| [19:44] | * Are you feeling the breeze? * | *你是否感到嗖嗖凉风* |
| [19:46] | * Did you pull your belt tight? * | *你是否勒紧了裤腰带* |
| [19:48] | * You know that it’s wrong, you know that it’s right * | *你知道何为错 你也知道何为对* |
| [19:52] | 警方结束开膛手杰克一案 无人被捕 嫌疑人仍逍遥法外 | |
| [19:54] | * Out of the shadows down the coin goes * | *阴影之外 硬币落入* |
| [20:02] | * Why, oh, why do you suppose? * | *为什么 为什么你要这样想呢* |
| [20:07] | * Only the Bandit knows * | *只有大盗才明白* |
| [20:10] | * Whoa oh oh oh oh whoa oh oh oh * | *喔哦哦哦 呜喔哦哦哦* |
| [20:14] | * A-s-s C-r-a-c-k Bandit * | *投 投投 投菊大盗* |
| [20:18] | * Whoa oh oh oh * | *喔哦哦哦* |
| [20:20] | * Oh whoa oh oh oh * | *呜喔哦哦哦* |
| [20:22] | * A-s-s c-r-a-c-k can’t stand it * | *投 投投 投菊大盗简直受不了* |
| [20:42] | You know, climate change is threatening our world, | 我们的世界深受气候变化的威胁 |
| [20:45] | but there is a solution: | 现在解决方案来啦 |
| [20:46] | the cat car, | 喵喵车 |
| [20:48] | The world’s first animal-powered vehicle. | 世界上第一辆动物拉车 |
| [20:51] | My original prototype was hunger-based. | 我最初的原型是以饥饿为动力 |
| [20:53] | But sometimes, cats aren’t hungry. | 但有时呢 喵喵们不饿 |
| [20:56] | My new model will use a rear-fixed dog system. | 所以我的新型号是「前喵后汪」系统 |
| [20:59] | But dogs cost money, your money. | 不过汪星人耗钱哪 需要您的钱哪 |
| [21:01] | By donating to this project, you’ll be like an investor, | 为本项目捐钱 你将成为投资人 |
| [21:05] | except without taking all my profits. | 不过我的盈利还是我的 |
| [21:07] | Donate $5, and you get a thank-you email. | 捐五块 你会得到一封感谢信 |
| [21:10] | $50 gets you a T-shirt. | 捐五十 赠您一件T恤 |
| [21:12] | 100 gets you a T-shirt and | 捐一百 您将获得一件T恤 |
| [21:14] | a thank-you email. | 外加一封感谢信 |
| [21:16] | All aboard the cat car, | 坐上喵喵车 |
| [21:17] | and all aboard helping our nation’s global warming. | 就是为我国的全球变暖问题献上一份力 |