| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | I am the system. | 我就是主宰 |
| [00:02] | I consume humanity. | 我统治人类 |
| [00:04] | There is no escape. | 全部都要顺从我 |
| [00:05] | Objection! | 我抗议 |
| [00:07] | * Jeff Winger, hero at law * | *杰夫·翁格 司法英雄* |
| [00:10] | * Best lawyer you ever saw * | *最屌的律师* |
| [00:12] | * Hero to freedom, defender of liberty * | *自由的英雄 解放的卫士* |
| [00:15] | * South of the forty on Lincoln * | *林肯大厦南栋四十层* |
| [00:17] | * You park for free, Jeff!* | *免费停车就是杰夫君* |
| [00:19] | Are you a good person being sued, oppressed, or beaten? | 你是被起诉被压迫 甚至败诉的无辜民众吗 |
| [00:22] | I can help, | 我能帮你 |
| [00:23] | and that’s the Winger guarantee. | 这是翁格的承诺 |
| [00:26] | Call 555-her… | 请拨三个五 加… |
| [00:29] | Maybe you should’ve spent less money on special effect | 或许你该在特效上少烧点钱的 |
| [00:31] | Thanks a lot, Francis Ford Repo Man. | 多谢建议 大导演兼重生男人 |
| [00:31] | Francis Ford 传奇导演 电影「重生男人」也是特效精彩 票房惨淡的作品 | |
| [00:42] | Jeff Winger! | 杰夫·翁格 |
| [00:43] | * Loser at law * | *司法败犬* |
| [00:45] | * Rented office in a mini mall * | *小商场里租门面* |
| [00:49] | Relax, tango. I come in peace. | 淡定 我并无恶意 |
| [00:52] | Way I see it, I screwed you. | 如我所见 我出卖过你 |
| [00:54] | I got screwed back. | 你也耍了我 |
| [00:55] | Now we can bygone the bygones, | 现在让咱们一笑泯恩仇 |
| [00:56] | Because I got a juicy new client and a bone to throw you. | 我找到了多金新客户和施舍给你的肥差 |
| [00:59] | You hear about that bridge that collapsed upstate? | 你听说过州北那座倒塌的桥没 |
| [01:01] | A human could’ve said that without salivating. | 我才不会向你摇尾乞怜要这个案子 |
| [01:03] | I represent Marvin Humphries, the engineer who designed it. | 我代表是设计大桥的工程师马文·汉弗莱斯 |
| [01:06] | He wants to seek damages. | 他想要索赔 |
| [01:08] | From what? His own pencil? | 向谁索赔 他自己的笔吗 |
| [01:09] | From the only school reckless enough | 向那个授予他工程学位的 |
| [01:11] | to give him a degree in Engineering. | 操蛋学校索赔 |
| [01:13] | City-funded school, | 那是所市立学校 |
| [01:15] | deep government pockets. | 享用着政府的油水 |
| [01:17] | Maybe you’ve heard of it. | 也许你早就听过这所学校了 |
| [01:19] | Greendale Community College. | 格林德尔社区大学 |
| [01:21] | Weird choice, by the way, | 顺带一提 |
| [01:23] | the bachelor’s degree on the wall. | 挂着这个学位证真是略显奇葩 |
| [01:24] | So you’re gonna sue my old school | 就是说你打算要起诉我的母校 |
| [01:25] | and you’re bothering to tell me? | 你还特意地跑来告诉我是吗 |
| [01:27] | You have access there. | 你有办法混进去 |
| [01:28] | I need Marvin’s records to prove | 我需要马文的档案来证明 |
| [01:30] | that he was irresponsibly educated. | 他接受的是不负责任的教育 |
| [01:32] | Well, why don’t you just subpoena? | 那你干吗不直接开张传票 |
| [01:33] | Right, so they can have a shredding party. | 没错 那他们就会毁灭证据 |
| [01:37] | See, that’s the difference between you and Greendale, Alan. | 这就是你和格林德尔的不同 艾伦 |
| [01:39] | They wouldn’t shred evidence. | 他们才不会毁灭证据 |
| [01:41] | It’s a good place for good people. | 那是一个满是纯良之人的善良之地 |
| [01:42] | It’s a diploma mill. | 它就是所野鸡大学 |
| [01:44] | It turns idiots into bridge-collapsers. | 它把白痴教成了垮桥大师 |
| [01:46] | And Jeff Winger into an attorney | 把杰夫·翁格教成了 |
| [01:48] | that thought he could help people? | 自以为能助人为乐的律师 |
| [01:53] | Jeff, I once saw you convince an arson victim | 杰夫 我曾见你证明一起纵火案的受害者 |
| [01:56] | that he liked his house better burned. | 其实想让自己的房子烧得更彻底 |
| [02:00] | God, look what that school did to you. | 老天 看看这破学校都对你干了什么 |
| [02:02] | It took all your money. It took four years of your life. | 花光了你的钱 浪费了你四年的光阴 |
| [02:05] | And worst of all, | 最糟的是 |
| [02:06] | It took your Winger moves. | 它磨掉了你翁格专属的手段 |
| [02:07] | I still got my Winger moves. | 我那犀利的手段仍在 |
| [02:09] | Prove it. Get me Humphries’ records. | 证明给我看 把汉弗莱斯的档案拿来 |
| [02:12] | Because the next bone you get thrown | 搞不好下一次的肥差 |
| [02:14] | might be through a dude’s zipper in the Warehouse District, | 会从仓库区某个老兄的拉链里掏出来哟 |
| [02:16] | and I can’t guarantee you it’ll be from me. | 我可不敢保证是我赏赐给你的 |
| [02:18] | Look, I might be broke, desperate, and nearly homeless, | 听着 我或许已经山穷水尽无家可归 |
| [02:21] | but I still got one thing deep down inside | 但我内心深处还有一样东西 |
| [02:23] | that gives me power… that was it. | 它能给予我力量 就是它 |
| [02:25] | That was all I had. | 我曾经的全部身家 |
| [02:52] | Welcome back, human beings. | 欢迎返校 「人类」同学们 |
| [02:54] | Dean Pelton here, wishing you another magic year at Greendale, | 派尔顿院长祝你在格林德尔度过酷炫的一年 |
| [02:57] | Ranked America’s number two community college | 我校是全美排行第二的社区大学 |
| [03:00] | by greendalecommunitycollege.com. | 该排名由格林德尔社区大学网评定 |
| [03:03] | Regarding the recent tragedy surrounding | 由于最近发生的桥梁垮塌 |
| [03:05] | a certain collapsed bridge, | 这样一件惨案 |
| [03:07] | We will be observing a moment of silence on the quad | 我校将在广场上进行默哀 |
| [03:10] | followed by four years of silence to the press. | 并以沉默来应对各家媒体 |
| [03:13] | I told you you’d be back. | 我就说你肯定会回来的 |
| [03:15] | Shut up, Leonard. I’m not here. | 闭嘴 伦纳德 我并不存在 |
| [03:16] | I’m just a figment of your creeping dementia. | 我只是你老年痴呆产生的幻象 |
| [03:28] | How would I go about getting records for certain alumni? | 我要如何才能拿到某位毕业生的档案呢 |
| [03:31] | Why would you think a stranger | 你凭啥觉得一个陌生人 |
| [03:32] | could just walk in here and do that? | 能轻描淡写走进来就拿走档案呢 |
| [03:34] | – You’re, uh, Rita. – Rhonda. | -你是 瑞塔 -朗达 |
| [03:36] | I’ve always regretted not telling you | 我一直后悔没有告诉你 |
| [03:38] | how much you remind me of my aunt. | 你真的好像我姑妈 |
| [03:44] | It’s more disarming than it sounds. | 听起来不怎么样 |
| [03:46] | I have a very attractive aunt. | 但其实我姑妈非常有魅力 |
| [03:49] | Rhonda, why are you wearing Jeff Winger’s… | 朗达 你为什么穿着杰夫·翁格的 |
| [03:53] | Jeffrey. | 杰夫瑞 |
| [03:54] | Are you, uh, looking for your friends? | 你是 来找你的小伙伴们的吗 |
| [03:56] | They don’t go here anymore. | 他们都不在这里了哦 |
| [03:57] | Maybe you’re looking for something | 也许你是来找寻 |
| [03:58] | that was in front of you the whole time, just a pitch. | 一直摆在你面前的东西 调有点高 |
| [04:00] | He’s asking for records for a certain alumni. | 他要看档案 某位毕业生的 |
| [04:05] | In the midst of all this Marvin Humphries business, | 关于马文·汉弗莱斯的案子 |
| [04:08] | I doubt this is a coincidence. | 我怀疑它是老天的安排 |
| [04:11] | You’re here to save me, aren’t you? | 你是来解救我的 是吗 |
| [04:13] | Yes. | 没错 |
| [04:14] | I thought I might contact alumni to form a committee: | 我想我可以联系校友们组建一个委员会 |
| [04:18] | The Save Greendale Committee. | 「拯救格林德尔委员会」 |
| [04:20] | Working title. | 名称暂定如此 |
| [04:20] | Jeffrey, I’m gonna cry. | 杰夫瑞 人家要哭了 |
| [04:22] | – Please don’t. – Request denied. | -不要这样 -人家就要 |
| [04:26] | Rhonda will let you in the records room. | 朗达会让你进档案室 |
| [04:29] | It’s actually your old study room. | 其实就是你们以前的学习室 |
| [04:31] | After you and your friends left, | 你和你的小伙伴们毕业以后 |
| [04:32] | it was closed for sentimental reasons. | 它曾经关闭了一段时间 以免触景伤情 |
| [04:35] | And asbestos reasons, but it’s clean as a whistle now. | 以及石棉的原因 但现在已经焕然一新 |
| [04:43] | “Harassment reports,” | 烦人的报道 |
| [04:44] | “Hazardous waste citations,” | 有害垃圾引用 |
| [04:45] | “Herpes comma water fountains.” | 疱疹 逗号 饮水机 |
| [04:47] | 格林德尔社区大学 管理档案 | |
| [04:48] | Come on. Where’s Humphries? | 拜托 汉弗莱斯的档案在哪 |
| [04:50] | I see your value now. | 我看到了你的价值所在 |
| [04:51] | – Abed, why? – “I see your value now.” | -啥 阿布蒂 -我看到了你的价值 |
| [04:55] | And me calling years “seasons” is a callback | 我把年叫成「季」也是呼应 |
| [04:57] | Abed, I know what makes you off-putting, | 阿布蒂 我知道问这个会扫你的兴 |
| [04:59] | but why are you here? | 不过为啥你会在这 |
| [05:00] | The dean called me about the Save Greendale Committee. | 院长告诉了我「拯救格林德尔委员会」的事 |
| [05:02] | – Can I join? – Well, I… | -能算我一个么 -这个…我 |
| [05:03] | Oh, no. Who else did he call? | 糟了 他还给谁打电话了 |
| [05:05] | Just me. I called everyone else. | 只有我 然后我告诉了大家 |
| [05:08] | Jeffery! | 杰夫瑞 |
| [05:11] | Jeff! | 杰夫 |
| [05:14] | Is that cool? | 酷不酷 |
| [05:15] | It’s the coolest. | 真是酷毙了 |
| [05:16] | Jeff, if you wanted to save Greendale, | 杰夫 如果你想救格林德尔 |
| [05:18] | why didn’t you call us first? | 怎么不先给我们打电话呢 |
| [05:20] | Well, you guys just got sprung from this joint, | 你们不是刚从这魔窟里解放出来嘛 |
| [05:22] | And I figured you had careers to get started. | 我觉得你们都要开始找工作什么的 |
| [05:24] | – Yeah, working hard. – Ah, yes. | -是啊 努力工作 -对哦 |
| [05:30] | What have they done to our home? | 他们对我们的家做了什么啊 |
| [05:32] | The table’s buried. | 桌子也烧毁了 |
| [05:36] | I got it. | 我来搬 |
| [05:37] | This is where we became a family. | 这里是我们成为一家人的地方 |
| [05:39] | Jeff made us a family. | 杰夫让我们成了一家人 |
| [05:42] | We could repilot it. | 我们可以重演这里 |
| [05:46] | A revamp, a do-over. | 翻新重组 从头再来 |
| [05:47] | Jeff could come back to Greendale as a teacher. | 杰夫可以回格林德尔当老师 |
| [05:49] | I’m not gonna be a teacher, Abed. | 我是不会当老师的 阿布蒂 |
| [05:50] | That’s lame. | 太逊了 |
| [05:51] | Come on. | 来来来 |
| [05:52] | Sit in your chair. | 坐在你的椅子上 |
| [05:54] | Complete the table. | 这样就圆满了 |
| [05:56] | We want to help you save Greendale. | 我们想帮你拯救格林德尔 |
| [05:58] | Yeah! | 对 |
| [05:59] | Greendale! Greendale! | 格林德尔 格林德尔 |
| [06:00] | Greendale! | 格林德尔 |
| [06:01] | I got to go to the bathroom. | 我去一下洗手间 |
| [06:04] | Mm, give him space. | 给他一点空间 |
| [06:05] | Repiloting can be intense. | 重新试映总是紧张万分的 |
| [06:07] | New people show up. | 有新人出现 |
| [06:08] | Regulars shift roles or even fall away. | 常驻换角色 甚至走人 |
| [06:11] | Zach Braff was only in the first six episodes. | 扎克·布拉夫就演了前六集 |
| [06:12] | That son of a bitch. | 这混账王八蛋 |
| [06:14] | After everything Scrubs did for him? | 「实习医生风云」把他捧红的好不好 |
| [06:17] | I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [06:19] | Vision boarding. | 正在制作梦想板 |
| [06:21] | Okay, vision boarding! Oh, hi, Jeffrey. | 做梦想板啦 嗨 杰夫瑞 |
| [06:24] | Dean, I have to warn you about something, | 院长 我得警告你一下 |
| [06:26] | because it’s the right thing to do. | 因为我应该这么做 |
| [06:27] | But first, why is there a big empty box on your desk. | 但首先 为什么你的桌子上有个大空箱子 |
| [06:30] | That says “Humphries” on it? | 上面还写着「汉弗莱斯」 |
| [06:34] | Okay, the press has been calling about Humphries, | 好啦 媒体一直在说汉弗莱斯的事 |
| [06:37] | And I didn’t want any details about his enrollment here | 我不想因为他在这上过学的事 |
| [06:39] | to be spun against us, | 而把媒体引到我们身上 |
| [06:41] | So now there are no details. | 现在这事就不存在了 |
| [06:44] | That was his thesis. | 那是他的毕业作品 |
| [06:48] | Okay! So sue me! | 起诉我啊你 |
| [06:50] | This ain’t Harvard, Jeffrey. | 这又不是哈佛大学 杰夫瑞 |
| [06:52] | Okay, my job is to give | 我的任务就是 |
| [06:54] | a certain number of degrees per year, | 每年发出去一定数量的学位 |
| [06:56] | Or we could get shut down. | 不然学校就要关门大吉了 |
| [06:58] | And that would be bad because… | 关门的坏处是… |
| [06:59] | Ah, because then I wouldn’t have a job. | 坏处当然是我没工作了 |
| [07:02] | And, you know, Greendale is a good place for good people. | 还有格林德尔好地方 好人都来上学堂 |
| [07:05] | That whole spiel, huh? | 那些招生广告语什么的 |
| [07:06] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [07:08] | That whole spiel. | 招生广告什么的 |
| [07:13] | Wingblade. Shock me by impressing me. | 翁帅 用好消息抽打我吧 |
| [07:16] | – He shredded Humphries. – What? | -他把汉弗莱斯都粉碎了 -什么 |
| [07:19] | I told you! How could you let this happen? | 我都告诉你了 你怎么办事的 |
| [07:21] | Sir, I have to ask you to leave the concierge desk. | 先生请你离开我们门房的桌子 |
| [07:26] | Jeff, this case was all I had. | 杰夫 我只有这个案子了 |
| [07:28] | I am screwed! | 我玩完了 |
| [07:29] | My wife left. My girlfriend dumped me. | 老婆跑了 女朋友把我甩了 |
| [07:32] | And they’re sisters, so now the whole family’s pissed. | 她俩还是姐妹 现在全家都在生我的气 |
| [07:34] | Shut up. | 闭嘴 |
| [07:35] | Bring me all the paperwork for filing a class action: | 准备所有集体诉讼的文本材料 |
| [07:37] | Letters of intent, engagement, everything. | 意向书 合约所有材料 |
| [07:38] | Multiple copies. | 多准备几份 |
| [07:39] | Winger, you just lost our client! | 翁格 你把客户搞丢了 |
| [07:42] | Yeah. | 对 |
| [07:43] | But I can create five new ones. | 但我可以找来五位新客户 |
| [07:46] | It’s so dusty. Let’s get this off the table. | 灰太多了 把这个拿下来 |
| [07:48] | And that’s the Winger guarantee. | 这就是翁格的承诺 |
| [07:54] | Okay, maybe we should bring a fund raising ideas | 或许我们可以募集资金 |
| [07:57] | that aren’t bake sales….. | 没有烘焙售卖 |
| [07:59] | or opening a zoo where the humans are in cages | 也不能把人类关进笼子 |
| [08:01] | and the animals come to visit. | 让动物参观的动物园 |
| [08:04] | Are you okay, jeff? You left kind of freaked out. | 你怎么了杰夫 像是吓到了 |
| [08:07] | Well… | 那个 |
| [08:10] | I can’t stop thinking this school might be in trouble | 我总是在想学校有麻烦是因为 |
| [08:12] | because of this bridge-collapsing guy. | 那个塌桥男 |
| [08:13] | He’s the one making bad bridges. | 他只是桥建的不好 |
| [08:15] | That’s like me blaming owls for how much I suck at analogies. | 就像我的比喻差 却怨猫头鹰一样 |
| [08:18] | Sometimes a student will claim, in court, | 有时候学生会在法庭上 声称 |
| [08:22] | That their school ruined their life, | 是学校把他们的生活给毁了 |
| [08:25] | And they’ll win. | 他们就胜诉 |
| [08:26] | You want to save Greendale? | 你们想拯救格林德尔 |
| [08:28] | – Make it litigation-proof. – How? | -让它成为胜诉证明 -怎么做 |
| [08:30] | Think like the enemy. | 像敌人一样思考 |
| [08:32] | How did Greendale damage you, Annie? | 格林德尔是怎么糟蹋你的 安妮 |
| [08:34] | It didn’t. I love Hospital Administration. | 没有的事 我爱医务管理 |
| [08:37] | – Is that your job? – Well…Not yet. | -那是你的工作吗 -现在还不是 |
| [08:40] | But I administer things to hospitals, | 但我帮管医院要用的物品 |
| [08:44] | Like these. | 比如这个 |
| [08:45] | Pen? | 笔 |
| [08:48] | “Futurza”? | 未来星 |
| [08:48] | They’re a rising star in pharmaceuticals. | 他们是制药界的新星 |
| [08:50] | They invented fibromyalgia | 他们发明了纤维肌痛 |
| [08:52] | and the cure for fibromyalgia. | 又发明了纤维肌痛的治疗方法 |
| [08:54] | You push drugs now? That’s ironic. | 你现在卖药去了 真讽刺 |
| [08:56] | I push pens, Britta. | 我卖的是笔 布雷塔 |
| [08:58] | Speaking of irony, how’s the therapy market? | 说到讽刺 心理治疗市场如何 |
| [09:00] | Depressed? | 萧条到家没 |
| [09:00] | I’m on sabbatical. | 我在休假 |
| [09:01] | You’re Jewish? | 你是犹太人 |
| [09:02] | I’m doing hands-on research about the psychology of alcoholism. | 我在亲身实践研究酗酒者心理状态 |
| [09:06] | You’re a bartender, aren’t you? | 你在当酒保 是不是 |
| [09:07] | Which is basically like a modern-day therapist. | 基本等同于当今的心理学家 |
| [09:10] | If somebody tells me about a murder, | 尤其是有人跟我说起谋杀 |
| [09:11] | I can’t tell anyone. | 我不能泄露出去的 |
| [09:12] | Wow, you’re even bad at bartending. | 酒保你都当不好 |
| [09:14] | What about you? | 那你呢 |
| [09:15] | Abed’s working on the next | 阿布蒂正研究下一个 |
| [09:17] | billion-dollar social media App. | 价值十亿的社交媒体App |
| [09:18] | And when it takes off, all I got to do is sue him. | 等到开始赚钱 我只需要告他就可以了 |
| [09:21] | It’s fool-proof. | 万无一失 |
| [09:23] | You’re programming now, Abed? | 你现在开始编程了 阿布蒂 |
| [09:24] | Didn’t get any work with your four-year film degree? | 怎么没找一个与你四年电影学位有关的工作 |
| [09:27] | One job, directing a commercial. | 有个工作 商业广告导演 |
| [09:28] | Still haven’t been paid. | 钱还没拿到 |
| [09:29] | I’ll cut you a check tomorrow, | 我明天给你支票 |
| [09:30] | But just so we’re clear, you quit. | 先说清楚 是你不干了 |
| [09:33] | Creative differences. | 创作分歧 |
| [09:34] | I asked you to put the phone number on the screen. | 我让你把电话号码加到画面里去 |
| [09:36] | I didn’t like the number. | 我不喜欢那个号码 |
| [09:36] | 555? It’s derivative. | 555 太植入了 |
| [09:38] | It’s the number of my business. | 那是我公司的号码 |
| [09:39] | It sounds fake. | 听着就假 |
| [09:40] | How can every number start with 555? | 怎么所有电话开头都是555 |
| [09:42] | Are there only 10,000 numbers? | 只有一万组号码 |
| [09:43] | Abed, you quit? | 阿布蒂你不干了 |
| [09:44] | You said you got fired. | 你说你是被炒了 |
| [09:45] | You haven’t paid in our apartment for two months. | 咱们的房租 你已经两个月没交了 |
| [09:47] | Well, why don’t you sell him a pill | 你怎么没卖给他点药 |
| [09:49] | That will help him give up on his dreams? | 治治他 好放弃梦想 |
| [09:50] | Relaxabrex doesn’t make you give up on your dreams. | 放松剂不是治疗放弃梦想的 |
| [09:53] | That’s a side effect. | 那是副作用 |
| [09:54] | At least the drugs I sell don’t get slurped | 至少我卖的药不会让我的肚脐眼 |
| [09:56] | out of my belly button. | 发出咕噜咕噜的声音 |
| [09:57] | That’s only on Tummy Tuesdays! | 因为那是周二肚皮日 |
| [09:59] | – Oh, it’s okay… – oh, I’m sorry… | -那就对了 -对不起 |
| [10:01] | Andre left again. | 安德烈又离开我了 |
| [10:05] | It’s…it’s not like last time. | 和上次不一样 |
| [10:07] | He’s staying with family. | 他和家人在一起 |
| [10:09] | He took the boys. | 带走了儿子们 |
| [10:10] | He took the dog. | 也带走了狗 |
| [10:11] | He took the D.V.R. | 还有录像机 |
| [10:13] | 166 episodes of Bones just gone. | 166集的「识骨寻踪」 都带走了 |
| [10:17] | It was my fault this time. | 这次是我的错 |
| [10:19] | I cheated on him | 我背叛了他 |
| [10:22] | With Shirley’s Sandwiches. | 因为雪瑞三明治 |
| [10:24] | I threw the money into expanding. | 我砸钱扩张 |
| [10:25] | I just didn’t think I could fail. | 没想到会失败 |
| [10:32] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [10:34] | Well, just so you know, | 你们要知道 |
| [10:36] | This is the sort of stuff that someone could use | 这种事情可以被别人用来 |
| [10:39] | to make a claim against a school. | 作为对学校不利的证词 |
| [10:47] | I have to go to the bathroom again. | 我又要去洗手间了 |
| [10:51] | While I’m gone, | 我去的时候 |
| [10:52] | I want you to think about what I said. | 你们想想我说的话 |
| [10:54] | As an exercise. | 当做练习了 |
| [11:00] | Do you guys feel weird about doing this without… | 你们会不会觉得怪怪的 没有了那谁 |
| [11:03] | Magnitude? | 磁态态 |
| [11:10] | That’s everything you asked for. | 你要的东西都在这 |
| [11:13] | Who are you flipping? | 你忽悠谁呢 |
| [11:14] | My friends, | 我的朋友们 |
| [11:15] | Who are now the Save Greendale Committee, | 现在是拯救格林德尔委员会 |
| [11:18] | which I created. | 我创办的 |
| [11:19] | Classic Winger. | 翁格作风 |
| [11:21] | I forgot what it was like to be good at being bad. | 我都忘了当坏人扮好人是什么感觉了 |
| [11:24] | So just close the deal and bring it home to daddy, eh? | 赶快结案回到爸爸怀抱 乖 |
| [11:26] | Oh, sorry, Alan. Change of daddies. | 抱歉艾伦 爸爸换人了 |
| [11:29] | I’ll take it from here. | 接下来交给我 |
| [11:30] | No, no, but it’s my case. | 不不 这是我的案子 |
| [11:31] | Humphries was your case. | 汉弗莱斯曾经是你的案子 |
| [11:33] | Jeff… | 杰夫 |
| [11:35] | – You’re scaring me. – Good. | -你吓到人家了 -那就对了 |
| [11:37] | Guys like you should be more scared. | 你这样的人就应该吓一吓 |
| [11:38] | You trust-funded, body-sprayed, | 你这个拥有信托基金 美黑喷雾 |
| [11:40] | Eli-Roth-dvd owner… | 伊莱·罗斯DVD的人 |
| [11:42] | You’re an amateur monster, Alan, | 你这个业余怪兽 艾伦 |
| [11:44] | And you stomp in the grave of a real monster | 你一脚踩进了真怪兽的墓穴 |
| [11:46] | who was willing to stay buried, | 那怪兽自愿一直被埋没 |
| [11:47] | because real monsters have shame, | 因为真怪兽有羞耻感 |
| [11:49] | Because they wish that… | 因为他们想… |
| [11:52] | You’re not worth the monologue. | 你还不值得用独白 |
| [11:53] | – Give me your tie. – What? | -领带给我 -干嘛 |
| [11:54] | No monologue for you. Give me your tie. | 不给你独白了 领带给我 |
| [11:58] | That’s for making me go to this school. | 这是为你逼的我来这上学 |
| [12:00] | That’s for making the last four years happen. | 这是为了过去四年发生的事 |
| [12:02] | And now I get to make them un-happen | 现在我得让这些事都没发生 |
| [12:04] | For me and the only people I care about. | 为我 为了我唯一关心的人们 |
| [12:11] | I failed my husband. I failed my kids. | 我让丈夫失望了 让孩子们也失望了 |
| [12:14] | I’ve failed Bones. | 也让「识骨寻踪」失望了 |
| [12:16] | I’m helping to hook a whole new battle | 我帮助挑起了小安妮 |
| [12:18] | of little Annies on adderall. | 在安非他命上的新战争 |
| [12:19] | I’ve been spending so much time with computers, | 我花了好多时间在电脑上 |
| [12:21] | Your tears are just ones and zeroes to me. | 你的眼泪对我来说都是1和0 |
| [12:23] | Yeah, you were a real Hallmark Card before. | 你原来可是真人版的霍曼贺卡呢 |
| [12:25] | I’m much sadder than the rest of you. | 我比你们都伤心 |
| [12:29] | I will figure out why later. | 至于为什么 等会就能想出来了 |
| [12:31] | Jeff, full disclosure: | 杰夫 结案陈词 |
| [12:34] | Our lives are worse than the day we got here. | 我们的生活比之前在这里时更糟糕 |
| [12:37] | Well, that is a serious allegation | 这是个你自己独立完成的 |
| [12:39] | to arrive at all by yourselves. | 严重的指控 |
| [12:41] | – Are you sure? – Yes. | -真的吗 -真的 |
| [12:43] | And we’ve come to a decision as a group, | 我们集体作出了决定 |
| [12:45] | and please don’t judge us for suggesting it. | 请你不要就此下判断 |
| [12:48] | Hey, I’ll back you up no matter what. | 无论如何我都是支持你的 |
| [12:50] | We decided to re-enroll at Greendale. | 我们决定在格林德尔重读 |
| [12:52] | What? Are you nuts? | 什么 你们疯了 |
| [12:53] | Greendale! Greendale! | 格林德尔 格林德尔 |
| [12:55] | Greendale! Greendale! | 格林德尔 格林德尔 |
| [12:57] | You guys want to keep it down? | 你们小点声好不好 |
| [13:00] | – Chang? – Kevin? | -昌 -凯文 |
| [13:04] | Chang. I’ve dropped the amnesia thing, | 昌 我不搞健忘症那东西了 |
| [13:06] | Copped to my crimes, and went to jail. | 认罪伏法 蹲了监狱 |
| [13:08] | Now I’m on work release. | 现在是监外工作 |
| [13:09] | – Working as what? – Math teacher. | -什么工作 -数学老师 |
| [13:11] | Next, explain the pajamas. | 下一项 解释下睡衣怎么回事 |
| [13:12] | Well, I’m on work release from house arrest, | 现在是软禁在家的监外工作 |
| [13:14] | But I don’t have a home. | 但我无家可归 |
| [13:15] | See this? | 看到这个了 |
| [13:16] | This won’t let me travel 100 yards from this, | 我得待在这玩意儿的100码范围以内 |
| [13:19] | and this only has a 30-yard cord, | 而它的电线只有30码长 |
| [13:21] | So I can only travel… | 所以我的活动范围是… |
| [13:24] | Whatever. You do the math. | 管他的 你们自己算吧 |
| [13:25] | You said you teach math. | 你刚还说你是教数学的 |
| [13:26] | Exactly; I teach it. You do it. | 没错 我教数学 你们做数学 |
| [13:30] | Chang was faking his changnesia? | 他的昌癔症竟然是装的 |
| [13:34] | They seriously rehired a teacher | 他们明知这家伙曾试图烧了学校 |
| [13:36] | They fired for trying to burn down the school? | 竟重新聘请了他 |
| [13:38] | After being rehired as a security guard | 他先是假冒西语老师 |
| [13:40] | after being fired for impersonating a teacher. | 然后被重新聘为保安 |
| [13:42] | That’s insane, and I’m Abed. | 连我都觉得这太疯狂了 |
| [13:44] | Worse than insane. Irresponsible. | 何止是疯狂 根本就是不负责任 |
| [13:46] | – Evil. – I don’t believe in evil. | -简直罪恶 -我不信鬼[罪恶] |
| [13:48] | But this school clearly got a finger up its butt as a child. | 咱们学校以前肯定遭受过心灵创伤 |
| [13:51] | This place ruins lives. | 这地方会毁人前途 |
| [13:53] | If that were true, | 即便如此 |
| [13:54] | then what could we possibly do about it? | 我们又能做些什么呢 |
| [14:04] | Make ’em dance, Winger. | 干得漂亮 翁格 |
| [14:06] | Ew, Jeff, what’s your evil old legal nemesis doing here? | 杰夫 与你「相爱相杀」的律师基友来干吗 |
| [14:10] | Nemesis? | 相爱相杀 |
| [14:12] | No, we were partners again. | 不 我们又是合作伙伴了 |
| [14:15] | Until I lost my usefulness. | 直到我失去利用价值 |
| [14:17] | I may be evil, | 虽说我不是好人 |
| [14:18] | but your friend here is so much more dangerous. | 但你们的「好朋友」可比我坏得多 |
| [14:23] | Tell ’em how it took you 30 minutes | 说说你是如何在半小时内 |
| [14:24] | to make them think they wanted to sue their own school. | 说服他们想起诉自己的学校 |
| [14:30] | I did it. | 我说漏嘴了 |
| [14:31] | Sorry. | 骚瑞啦 |
| [14:32] | Anyway, I’ll leave you to pick up these pieces. | 剩下的残局就交给你收拾了 |
| [14:35] | I’m gonna go score some blow. | 我顺道去买点可卡因 |
| [14:37] | My dealer’s a gym teacher here. | 这儿的体育老师正好是毒品贩子 |
| [14:49] | You lied to us? | 你骗了我们 |
| [14:50] | I never lied to you. | 我从不骗你们 |
| [14:53] | I showed you the right truth. | 我教会了你们真正的人生道理 |
| [14:55] | Britta, when we met, | 布雷塔 我们刚认识时 |
| [14:57] | you were an eclectic anarchist. | 你是个折衷派无政府主义者 |
| [14:59] | How did you become the group’s airhead? | 想想你是怎么堕落成组里的脑残的 |
| [15:01] | Thank you? | 谢谢你全家 |
| [15:02] | – And, Shirley, you’ve gone from an independent divorcee | 雪瑞 你从一位摆脱婚姻枷锁的独立女性 |
| [15:05] | striking out on her own | 努力奋斗靠自己 |
| [15:07] | to a bankrupt fry cook hoping for a call from her husband. | 变成了只会等老公电话的破产厨子 |
| [15:10] | Troy, your entire identity has been consumed | 特洛伊 你的存在感已经被 |
| [15:13] | By your relationship with another man. | 你俩的基情耗尽了 |
| [15:15] | You found my Clive Own Tumblr. | 我汤不热的小号被你发现了 |
| [15:16] | And what happened to Annie the unstoppable go-getter? | 不懈努力的优等生安妮又变成了什么样子呢 |
| [15:19] | Well, there was that gas leak last year. | 去年发生了一起煤气泄漏嘛 |
| [15:21] | Oh, don’t blame it all on the gas leak year. | 别都怪在煤气泄漏上 |
| [15:23] | This was a four-year process. | 在这四年里 |
| [15:25] | We went in one end as real people | 我们的生活从现实的人生 |
| [15:27] | And out the other end as mixed-up cartoons. | 退化成乱七八糟的二次元世界了 |
| [15:30] | – Cool. – Sure. | -酷啊 -酷你妹 |
| [15:31] | This coming from the guy who’s had | 说这话的某人曾在学校里 |
| [15:32] | how many psychotic breaks on campus? | 精神崩溃过几次来着 |
| [15:34] | Are we including the gas leak year? | 要算上去年的煤气泄漏那次吗 |
| [15:35] | You all came here with a chance to be something, | 你们报考这所学校时都曾踌躇满志 |
| [15:38] | and you all had that taken away from you. | 现在这些志向都去哪儿了 |
| [15:40] | Get something back. | 你们需要补偿 |
| [15:41] | Seek damages. | 要求学校赔偿损失吧 |
| [15:44] | Sign here. | 在这儿签字 |
| [15:46] | But you’re our hero. | 但你是我们的英雄啊 |
| [15:47] | – I mean, in the commercial. – The commercial was a lie. | -在广告里… -广告是骗人的 |
| [15:51] | – You staged a robot fight? – Yeah. | -机器人大战是假的吗 -没错 |
| [15:54] | In real life, the robot wins. | 在现实中 机器人赢了 |
| [16:02] | Troy? | 特洛伊 |
| [16:06] | If Jeff didn’t change, then Jeff is right. | 既然杰夫没变化 那他就是对的 |
| [16:10] | Case closed. Let’s make some money. | 已经结案了 咱们分点钱吧 |
| [16:12] | Okay, Jeff, if this is what you really want to do. | 好吧 既然这是杰夫做出的决定 |
| [16:16] | I’ll sign. | 我签字就是了 |
| [16:17] | The choice to make is yours. | 做出决定的人是你自己 |
| [16:19] | No, it’s yours. | 不 是你 |
| [16:23] | We’re putting Greendale in your hands. | 这所学校的未来就交给你了 |
| [16:34] | Do we all have to say something? | 我们都必须发表两句感言吗 |
| [16:36] | – No, you can just sign it. – Okay. | -你签字就是了 -好吧 |
| [16:39] | You brought us together. | 是你把我们凝聚在一起的 |
| [16:40] | With lies. | 通过谎言 |
| [16:41] | But what you do is above lying, remember? | 你所做的不仅仅是骗人那么简单 |
| [16:44] | You show us the right truth. | 你教会我们真正的道理 |
| [16:48] | You won’t regret this. | 你们不会后悔的 |
| [16:56] | I’d like to take the study room table in back and burn it. | 我想把这张桌子拿到后面烧了 |
| [16:59] | Burn it? Why? | 为什么要烧了它 |
| [17:01] | The same reason I never returned Time Bandits to Blockbuster. | 就好比我永远不会把「时光大盗」还给租赁店 |
| [17:01] | 「时光大盗」 1981年的喜剧电影 Blockbuster为知名DVD租赁公司 已破产 | |
| [17:05] | Nobody else deserves it. | 没有人能配得上它 |
| [17:15] | Jesus! | 天哪 |
| [17:17] | Looks as if you’ve lost your way. | 你好像迷路了 |
| [17:19] | Pierce? | 皮尔斯 |
| [17:20] | Continue on this path, and you might miss your last chance | 继续这么走 你会错过在中央花园 |
| [17:23] | to see the Pierce Hawthorne Museum of Gender Sensitivity | 由皮尔斯·霍桑博物馆举办的 |
| [17:26] | And Sexual Potency on the central quad. | 「性别意识与性交能力」展览最终场 |
| [17:29] | The museum and this hologram were donated in compliance | 依照法院指令 此次展览与我的全息影像 |
| [17:32] | with a court order I’m not allowed to discuss. | 均为无偿赞助 详情我不便多说 |
| [17:35] | Let’s just say some women can’t take a compliment. | 只能说 有些女人真是夸不起啊 |
| [17:38] | Unbelievable. | 难以置信 |
| [17:39] | What I am allowed to discuss is Greendale, | 法院允许我发表以下言论 |
| [17:42] | and I’ll say this: | 关于格林德尔 |
| [17:44] | Don’t turn your back on it. | 请你不要背叛它 |
| [17:46] | Take it from a man with no legal right to be there. | 就听我一句劝吧 虽说法院不许我去学校 |
| [17:49] | You’re in a special place. | 这个学校是个特别的地方 |
| [17:51] | A crappy place, sure, | 或者说 很烂的地方 |
| [17:52] | But only because it gives crappy people a chance | 但它给了废柴们一线机会 |
| [17:55] | to sort themselves out. | 理清头绪的地方 |
| [17:59] | Did I sound gay at the end? | 刚才的话是不是太基情了 |
| [18:00] | Do you want to do another take? | 我能重新录一段吗 |
| [18:02] | – Jeffrey, I’m not decent. – I know. | -杰夫瑞 我还没穿衣服呢 -我知道 |
| [18:05] | These are the signatures of the five people | 这五份签名来自五个 |
| [18:08] | that are crazy enough to care about this toilet. | 依旧关心这所烂学校的疯狂学生 |
| [18:11] | And tonight, I almost got them to sue it. | 我今晚差一点就说服他们起诉学校了 |
| [18:13] | Heed the warning! | 以此为戒吧 |
| [18:14] | It’s not easy being dean, Jeffrey! | 这院长可不好当 杰夫瑞 |
| [18:16] | Then stop being the dean! | 那你就别当了 |
| [18:18] | It’s my whole ideantity! | 那我会失去存在感的啊 |
| [18:20] | I mean, wah, see what I did there? That’s proof! | 院长的工作就是我存在的证明啊 |
| [18:22] | Get your crap together. | 省省吧你 |
| [18:24] | Your job is not to hand out degrees. | 你的职责不是教书育人 |
| [18:27] | Your job is to make this a toilet | 而是把这所学校弄得一团糟 |
| [18:29] | that people don’t have to be crazy to care about. | 这样学生们也不会发了疯地来保护它 |
| [18:32] | But you could stay here and help me save the school. | 你可以留下来帮我一起拯救学校 |
| [18:35] | For how much money? | 你付我多少钱 |
| [18:36] | I-I can’t offer you any money. | 钱我是付不起 |
| [18:38] | I could offer you a job. | 但我能给你份工作 |
| [18:39] | You just described slavery. | 你当我是奴隶么 |
| [18:40] | I mean, there’s nothing in the budget for school saver, | 我是说 预算里没有「拯救学校」这一款项 |
| [18:43] | But I could hire you as… | 但我能聘用你做… |
| [18:50] | Screw you, Abed. | 我顶你个肺 阿布蒂 |
| [18:54] | I’d be depressed right now if these samples from work | 要不是因为这样做有助于我开启人生新篇章 |
| [18:57] | weren’t giving me a new outlook on life. | 我肯定早犯抑郁症了 |
| [18:59] | If you’re interested in learning more, | 如果你们感兴趣 |
| [19:01] | Ask your doctor if Joyvatrex is right for you. | 跟你的医生咨询可不可以服用欢乐剂 |
| [19:03] | Oh, honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [19:04] | If we sue Greendale, can I be a surprise witness? | 如果要起诉学校 我能做关键证人吗 |
| [19:07] | Wait. Don’t tell me. | 等等 别告诉我 |
| [19:09] | Stop! | 等一下 |
| [19:11] | We shouldn’t sue the school. | 我们不该起诉学校 |
| [19:12] | Ohh. Come on! | 拜托 你又来 |
| [19:14] | Are you trying to give us emotional whiplash? | 你是想从精神上打击我们是么 |
| [19:16] | Look, if you feel there’s more work to be done on yourselves, | 如果你们觉得还有「壮志未酬」 |
| [19:20] | then as crappy as this place is, | 这个糟糕的学校 |
| [19:22] | It’s a place that you can do it. | 能帮你们完成梦想 |
| [19:24] | You got a job teaching here, didn’t you? | 你得到了在这儿教书的机会是么 |
| [19:25] | I don’t want to talk about it. | 求别问 |
| [19:27] | Well, then, I’m getting back into forensic science. | 那我想继续研究法医学 |
| [19:30] | That was my actual dream. It’s my fault I bailed on it. | 这是我真正的梦想 我不该放弃的 |
| [19:33] | A film degree doesn’t make me a filmmaker. | 一纸文凭并不说明我是合格的导演 |
| [19:35] | I need to learn how to work with other people. | 我还要学如何与人打交道 |
| [19:37] | – I need to figure out who I am. – I’ll help you. | -我想了解真正的自我 -我会帮你 |
| [19:40] | Get out of my brain. | 从我的脑袋里出去 |
| [19:42] | I need to learn how to really run a business | 我要学会如何经商 |
| [19:44] | by my own standards, not Greendale’s. | 要符合我自己的标准 而非格林德尔的 |
| [19:46] | I’m gonna get a four-year Psych degree, | 我想取得四年制的心理学学位 |
| [19:48] | then a master’s, and become a real psychologist. | 接着读研 然后成为真正的心理学家 |
| [19:51] | Or you could find another major. | 其实换个专业也不错嘛 |
| [19:54] | A real psychologist. | 成为真正的心理学家 |
| [19:56] | – How about English? – Psychology. | -读英语吧 -心理学 |
| [19:58] | All right, what’s important is, | 好吧 关键是 |
| [19:59] | No matter what, | 不论如何 |
| [20:01] | we’ll be trying to talk Britta into doing something different | 我们会想办法说服布雷塔另谋出路 |
| [20:05] | together. | 齐心协力 |
| [20:10] | Burn, hopelessness. | 燃烧吧 绝望 |
| [20:18] | It’s a fire… | 着火啦 |
| [20:22] | Little victories count for a lot around here… | 在这里 小小的成功也是至关重要的… |
| [20:29] | Even if you never asked to win in the first place. | 即使你一开始就没有求胜之心 |
| [20:33] | And you have to enjoy those nice moments while you can. | 人生得意须尽欢 |
| [20:36] | See, he does a voice-over wrap-up at the end of every episode. | 看 每集结束时他都会以画外音做总结 |
| [20:39] | – Wow. – Cool. | -是嘛 -酷啊 |
| [20:41] | Because around here, they never last very long. | 因为在这儿 欢乐不会持续太久 |
| [20:45] | Once more. More teachery. | 再来一次 要更有老师范儿 |
| [20:47] | I want to kill myself. | 我想撞豆腐自尽 |
| [20:49] | Use that. | 就是这种感觉 |
| [20:57] | Are you a good person? | 你是好人吗 |
| [20:58] | Yes, unlike you. | 没错 我与你不同 |
| [21:00] | I can guarantee… | 我能保证… |
| [21:01] | the Winger beaten you… | 我一定会打败你… |
| [21:03] | Not any more. | 再也不会了 |