| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Troy and Abed back from summer. | 特洛伊和阿布蒂夏日归来 |
| [00:07] | Wait a minute. Something’s changed. | 等等 好像有变化 |
| [00:08] | Oh, there’s 12 additional thumb tacks on that board. | 那块板子上多了12枚图钉 |
| [00:10] | They’re driving me crazy. | 真让我抓狂 |
| [00:12] | No, I meant this. Trying out the hipster look. | 不 我是说这个 看我潮男七十二变 |
| [00:15] | It’s cool, but also not. | 这很潮 但也不算潮 |
| [00:19] | Hey, guys, have a good summer? | 少年们 暑假过得好吗 |
| [00:21] | Take them off. | 速度摘下来 |
| [00:23] | Happy first day of school. | 开学第一天快乐 |
| [00:27] | Good morning. I brought brownies. | 早上好 我带了巧克力蛋糕 |
| [00:33] | Congratulations, it’s me. | 恭喜 是我 |
| [00:38] | Huh, I see we’ve all reinvented ourselves over the summer. | 看来过了个夏天 大家都焕然一新了 |
| [00:41] | A little late to the hipster party much? | 开潮流派对吗 我来得是不是有点晚 |
| [00:42] | A little much on the much much? | 您的”有点”还真不是一般的”点儿” |
| [00:46] | We should get to class? Where’s Pierce? | 我们该上课了 皮尔斯在哪 |
| [00:48] | Hey-o! | 唷吼 |
| [00:52] | Sorry, I’m late. | 不好意思 我迟到了 |
| [00:53] | Damn Mexican cleaning woman did a cha-cha on my glasses, | 该死的墨西哥清洁女工在我眼镜上跳恰恰舞 |
| [00:57] | so I got to wear this old pair. | 所以我只能戴这副旧的了 |
| [01:01] | Abed. Abed. | 阿布蒂 阿布蒂 |
| [01:05] | – Abed. – Yup. | -阿布蒂 -在 |
| [01:06] | – Did you go to your happy place? – Yeah. | -你到达”快乐园”了吗 -是的 |
| [01:08] | Did you envision a babbling brook like I described? | 你见到我描述的小溪流水了吗 |
| [01:10] | I started out with a babbling brook, | 我一开始的确看到了小溪流水 |
| [01:11] | but then I layered in elements from our world. | 但之后我以现实世界的元素进行分层 |
| [01:13] | I’m sure fans of the babbling brook will complain, | 喜欢”消息流言”的人肯定会有所不满 |
| [01:15] | but I thought that was limiting. | 但我觉得那样太局限了 |
| [01:16] | Well, it’s best to keep it simple. | 别搞那么复杂 |
| [01:18] | – It was a babbling brook. – Okay. | -我看到了小溪流水 -很好 |
| [01:19] | Here’s the deal, Jessica Biel. | 我们这样吧 杰西卡·贝尔[影星] |
| [01:21] | The first day of senior year is emotional for everyone, | 大四的第一天 大家都会感慨万分 |
| [01:24] | so I hereby therapize you to go to your happy place | 只要你感觉紧张 我便对你施以心理治疗 |
| [01:27] | whenever you feel stressed. | 助你一路到达”快乐老家” |
| [01:30] | I found my lucky notebook. | 我找到我的幸运笔记本了 |
| [01:31] | Found my lucky charm. | 我找到我的”幸运符”麦片了 |
| [01:33] | Abed, you ready for our last first day of school? | 阿布蒂 准备好最后一年开学首日了吗 |
| [01:37] | Are you ready, buddy? | 准备好了吗 伙计 |
| [01:40] | I just need a minute. | 给我一分钟 |
| [01:43] | * This is my show * | *我的节目我做主* |
| [01:45] | * It’s about me * | *节目内容* |
| [01:46] | * And all my friends on Abed TV * | *我和朋友们的二三事 就在阿布TV* |
| [01:50] | * My happy place, nothing but fun * | *我的快乐小世界 只见欢乐满天下* |
| [01:53] | * Nothing but laughs and smiles and then we rerun * | *欢声笑语无止尽 笑语欢声不停歇* |
| [01:57] | * For those times when life’s too hard to face * | *操蛋人生浑不怕* |
| [02:02] | * I’ll find some happy in my happy place * | *我在乐园笑哈哈* |
| [02:08] | Abed’s Happy Community College Show is | 《阿布蒂废柴联盟欢乐秀》 |
| [02:10] | filmed before a live audience inside of my head. | 现场摄制于本人脑内剧场观众席前 |
| [02:16] | I can’t believe we’re finally getting into this class. | 真不敢相信我们终于能上这门课了 |
| [02:18] | I can’t believe there’s a class called | 我也不敢相信居然有门课叫 |
| [02:19] | “The History of Ice Cream.” | 《冰激凌史》 |
| [02:20] | Seniors! | 大四生 |
| [02:23] | There they are. | 大家都在呢 |
| [02:29] | Seniors! | 大四生 |
| [02:29] | Oh, speaking of seniors, | 说到大四生 |
| [02:31] | I’ve decided I’m going to do senioritis this year. | 我决定今年要做毕业倦怠生 |
| [02:33] | You know, just hangin’ out and blowin’ off classes, | 就是在外面闲逛 翘个课 |
| [02:36] | pullin’ pranks, not sayin’ my “G”s. | 整整蛊 绝口不发G音 |
| [02:39] | Ooh, I’ll pull some pranks with you. | 那我要和你一起整蛊 |
| [02:41] | Okay. Or Jeff or whoever. You know, | 行啊 其实和杰夫或其他人都行 |
| [02:44] | whoever’s around. Whatever. | 周围的人就行 无所谓 |
| [02:45] | So, Abed, after class, we’re still doing our | 阿布蒂 下课后我们还会继续 |
| [02:46] | – first-day-of-school tradition, right? – You know it. | -开学首日的传统吧 -必须的 |
| [02:48] | We like to make wishes in the fountain. | 我们喜欢在许愿池旁许愿 |
| [02:50] | Fellas, I hate to tell you, wishes aren’t real. | 少年们 实不相瞒 愿望都不是真的 |
| [02:53] | If you want something bad, you have to work for it. | 如果你特想要什么 就得自己努力争取 |
| [02:56] | Or use a spell. | 念咒语也行 |
| [02:57] | All of our wishes come true. | 我们所有愿望都实现了 |
| [02:58] | Last year, Troy wished | 去年 特洛伊希望 |
| [02:59] | we got Bin Laden and the Dorito Taco. | 我们搞定本·拉登和”多乐脆”玉米卷 |
| [03:01] | Yeah, but Obama got credit for both. | 是啊 但功劳全都让奥巴马抢去了 |
| [03:03] | Could you wish for Jeff to be on time for once? | 你们能许愿让杰夫按时到一次吗 |
| [03:05] | No. No wasting wishes on impossibilities. | 不能 愿望绝不浪费在不可能实现的事上 |
| [03:08] | We have to make this year count, | 我们得慎重考虑今年的愿望 |
| [03:09] | especially since it’s the last one. | 特别是今年是最后一年了 |
| [03:13] | Oh, no, is all this for “The History of Ice Cream”? | 不是吧 他们都是来上《冰激凌史》的吗 |
| [03:16] | They overbooked it, so it’s first come, first serve now. | 选课人数超员了 现在是先到先得 |
| [03:18] | Oh, just like real ice cream. | 就像抢真正的冰激凌一样 |
| [03:19] | Guys, over here! | 伙计们 这边 |
| [03:21] | Oh, Jeffery. | 杰夫瑞 |
| [03:27] | Jeff, I can’t believe that you came early. | 杰夫 真不敢相信你竟然早到了 |
| [03:28] | Don’t you read Gary’s Twitter feed? | 你们没看加里的推特微博吗 |
| [03:30] | He posted a crisis alert about it. | 他发布了一条关于本科目的危机警报 |
| [03:32] | I came early to save seats. | 我早到是来占座的 |
| [03:33] | Oh, you know what, girls, | 知道吗 姑娘们 |
| [03:35] | I gave you the old flyer. | 我给你们的传单已经过期了 |
| [03:36] | “Instagram for besties” is in room 44. | 《闺蜜自拍共享》课在44教室 |
| [03:40] | Showing up early, helping others, sending girls away? | 提早到校 帮助别人 屏退妹子 |
| [03:44] | Could this be a whole new Jeff Winger? | 这算是全新的杰夫·翁格吗 |
| [03:46] | Don’t ruin it by approving it. | 别想求真相 容易死得快 |
| [03:53] | Oh, so that’s progressed. | 进展挺快嘛 |
| [03:54] | I mean, it’s progressed, | 是有进展啦 |
| [03:55] | but it hasn’t progressed-progressed. It’s progressive. | 但进展尚在进展 不断进步提升 |
| [03:58] | Good luck, Troy. | 祝你好运 特洛伊 |
| [04:00] | You can’t just walk in here! | 你们不能就这么走进来 |
| [04:02] | I’ve been pissing in jars for an hour. | 我一直靠在罐子里撒尿坚持了一小时 |
| [04:04] | Trying to keep this seat. | 只为了保住这个座位 |
| [04:07] | All right, all right. | 好了好了 静一静 |
| [04:09] | All right. Simmer dean. | 安静 冷”院”一下 |
| [04:11] | This can’t be good. He’s dressed as himself. | 大事不妙 他这次居然本色出场了 |
| [04:14] | Greendale’s registration system has been hacked. | 格林德尔的报名系统被黑了 |
| [04:17] | That’s right. Someone hacked into the supply closet | 没错 有人非法侵入储物柜 |
| [04:21] | and counterfeited these | 伪造了这些 |
| [04:22] | “History of ice cream” admission cards. | 《冰激凌史》课申报卡 |
| [04:25] | Whoever did this is very good. | 不管谁做的 干得漂亮 |
| [04:27] | There is only one fair way to solve this. So… | 这件事要公平解决只有一个方法 所以 |
| [04:32] | follow me to… | 请跟我来 |
| [04:57] | The Hunger Deans! | “饥饿院长” |
| [05:01] | Thank you. Thank you. | 谢谢 谢谢 |
| [05:02] | There are 35 tests of strength and agility. | 有35项关于体能与敏捷性的试炼 |
| [05:05] | The winner of each one of these contests | 每项测试的胜者 |
| [05:08] | will be awarded a red rubber ball. | 都会得到一个红橡皮蛋蛋作为奖品 |
| [05:11] | No ball, no ice cream. | 无蛋 无《冰激凌史》课 |
| [05:13] | And these are impossible to counterfeit | 而且这些蛋是伪造不出来的 |
| [05:15] | because each one has been marked by my distinct bite print. | 因为每个蛋都有我独特的咬痕 |
| [05:22] | Guys, we need to take this class. | 伙计们 我们得修这门课 |
| [05:23] | It’s the only history credit this semester. | 这是这学期唯一一门历史学分 |
| [05:25] | Whatevs. We’ll take it next semes. | 管它呢 咱们等下个学”基”咯 |
| [05:28] | Ter. Semester. | 期 学期 |
| [05:29] | But I need it now. | 但我现在就得修 |
| [05:31] | Okay, I took some extra classes online, | 好吧 我修了几门在线课程 |
| [05:34] | and I’m one history credit away from graduating. | 现在只要一个历史学分就能毕业了 |
| [05:37] | Jeff, you’re graduating early? | 杰夫 你要提早毕业 |
| [05:39] | Well, graduating after 30 can’t be characterized as early. | 30多岁才毕业可不算早 |
| [05:42] | When were you gonna tell us, Jeff? | 那你打算什么时候告诉我们 杰夫 |
| [05:43] | I was working on a speech. | 我在准备告别致辞 |
| [05:44] | And, believe me, it tied in a lot of things. | 相信我 内容丰富感情饱满 |
| [05:47] | There was a lot of resolutions and epiphanies. | 充满了无尽的决心和各种顿悟 |
| [05:49] | And it would have gone down a lot better | 等大家一起上完冰激凌课以后再听 |
| [05:51] | after we had taken the ice cream class together. | 感情上会更容易接受一点 |
| [05:54] | So that’s why you were holding our seats? | 原来是因为这个才给我们占座啊 |
| [05:55] | For your own selfish reasons? | 为了一己私利 |
| [05:57] | No, I want us to take the class together. | 不是 我是想跟大家一起上课 |
| [05:59] | I just want it to be the last class we take together. | 也希望这是我们最后一门一起上的课 |
| [06:01] | I probably should have phrased that differently. | 这句话我应该改得委婉点 |
| [06:03] | Fine. Win your red ball. | 行 抢你的红蛋去吧 |
| [06:04] | What do I care? I’ve got a senior prank to pull. | 关我屁事 大师姐我还要去整个蛊呢 |
| [06:07] | – Shirley. – Mm-hmm. | -雪瑞 -嗯哼 |
| [06:08] | So, Abed, ready to make some wishes? | 阿布蒂 一起去许愿吗 |
| [06:10] | Make chocolate hot dogs a reality? | 让巧克力热狗成真 |
| [06:12] | Actually, why don’t you go with Britta? | 你还是跟布雷塔去吧 |
| [06:13] | I think I’ll just hang out here and watch. | 我想留在这里观战 |
| [06:15] | Really? Are you sure? | 真的吗 你确定 |
| [06:16] | – Yeah, I’m fine. F-I-n-e or f-y-n-e? | -嗯 我挺好 -是挺好还是”停搞” |
| [06:19] | We made one of ’em a code for “Not fine.” | 我们将其中一个作为”不好”的暗号 |
| [06:21] | Oh. F-y-n-e. | “停搞” |
| [06:24] | Okay, he’s fine. Let’s go. | 好 他真没事 走吧 |
| [06:26] | – See you around, old Jeff. – No. | -回头见 老杰夫 -不对 |
| [06:28] | No, new Jeff. New Jeff does not just look out for himself. | 错 是新杰夫啦 新杰夫不再只顾自己 |
| [06:31] | New Jeff is gonna win seven red balls | 新杰夫会赢到七个小红蛋 |
| [06:33] | because he is not gonna take that class | 因为如果你们上不了这节课 |
| [06:34] | unless you guys are with me. | 我也不会上 |
| [06:36] | Look, we’re gonna have to leave this place sometime. | 我们迟早要离开这里的 |
| [06:39] | Like an ice cream cone melting in the sun, | 就像冰激凌在太阳底下总归要融化 |
| [06:42] | our time here can’t last forever. | 我们不可能在这里一直待下去 |
| [06:45] | That was part of the speech I was writing! | 这段话也是我准备的致辞内容 |
| [06:50] | Hey, guys. What’s going on? | 伙计们 干嘛呢 |
| [06:51] | Oh, just making plans for the future. | 没什么 规划一下未来 |
| [06:53] | Can’t stay at Greendale forever. | 总不能在格林德尔待到死吧 |
| [06:55] | Hey, is mine different than yours? | 我的跟你们的有什么不一样吗 |
| [06:59] | Look out below. | 下面的爱卿小心咯 |
| [07:00] | Coming in for a land-dean. | 本宫要落地啦 |
| [07:06] | Amelia Earhart? | 艾美利亚·伊尔哈特吗 |
| [07:07] | Close. I am America’s sexiest aviator, | 差不多 我是全美最性感的飞行员 |
| [07:10] | Leo Dicaprio. | 李奥·迪卡普里奥 |
| [07:10] | 出自李奥纳多主演的电影 Catch Me If You Can/《逍遥法外》 | |
| [07:12] | And, just as his character lost his mind, | 就像他在片中狂放的角色一样 |
| [07:15] | So have I lost your student records. | 我也狂丢了你们的学生档案 |
| [07:19] | What? I can’t believe it. | 什么 不会吧 |
| [07:21] | Yeah, Amelia Earhart would have been faster. | 就是 艾美利亚·伊尔哈特飞得还比你快呢 |
| [07:24] | As you know, our student records are stored | 你们也知道 我们的学生档案都存在 |
| [07:26] | on a microsoft paint file, | 微软画图文件夹里 |
| [07:28] | which I was assured was future-proof. | 他们跟我保证资料将长期保存永不过时 |
| [07:33] | Meanwhile, our extended warranty is not being honored by | 结果 电器城摇身一变成餐厅 |
| [07:36] | the restaurant that used to be circuit city. | 咱们延长保修期也就立马变浮云了 |
| [07:39] | But I think the fairest way to handle this | 总之我认为最好的解决方法就是 |
| [07:41] | is to have everyone repeat the last three years. | 全体学生的过去三年都擦了重来 |
| [07:45] | You can’t be serious. | 你不带这样的吧 |
| [07:46] | In-dean, I am. | 本宫正是 |
| [07:50] | I’m gonna be here forever. | 我真的要在这里待到死了 |
| [07:51] | Forever. Forever. Forever. | 待到死 待到死 待到死 |
| [07:56] | I’m gonna stay in here forever. | 我要在这里待到死了 |
| [08:03] | Gentlemen, and ladies. | 先生们 还有女士们 |
| [08:07] | My first red ball | 我第一个大红蛋蛋 |
| [08:08] | is way up high. | 高高天上挂 |
| [08:10] | To touch my ball, | 若想摸我的蛋 |
| [08:12] | first touch the sky. | 要先够到天 |
| [08:14] | Go! | 开始 |
| [08:17] | Give it up, Leonard. | 你算了吧 伦纳德 |
| [08:18] | I’m gonna eat your ice cream, Winger. | 我要把你的冰激凌吃干抹净 翁格 |
| [08:22] | Agh! You? You’re pre-med! | 你也来 你不是念医学预科的吗 |
| [08:24] | I want ice cream. | 我要吃冰激凌 |
| [08:25] | Yeah, well, I want to graduate with dignity. | 我还要带着自尊毕业呢 |
| [08:28] | Not cool! | 不厚道 |
| [08:32] | Jeff’s really going after that ball. | 杰夫是真跟蛋杠上了 |
| [08:34] | There’s got to be a joke in there somewhere. | 这里明明应该有个笑点的 |
| [08:37] | That’s my first ball. | 我的第一个蛋 |
| [08:38] | New Jeff! | 全新的杰夫 |
| [08:41] | Give me a minute. Give me a minute. | 给我一分钟 就一分钟 |
| [08:45] | No. | 不对 |
| [08:49] | You know, if we’re doing the first three years over again, | 要是我们真的要重新上三年学 |
| [08:50] | I could change majors. | 我就可以换专业了 |
| [08:52] | I’ve always been curious about forensics. | 我一直对法鉴很有兴趣 |
| [08:54] | Hey, did you know you could major in antics? | 你知道吗 咱还能修小丑专业呢 |
| [08:56] | I checked. You need a tomfoolery pre-req, | 我查过了 要修过胡闹课的才能选这门课 |
| [08:58] | But they waive it for women. | 但女性学生可免除此要求 |
| [09:01] | This is lunacy. | 这也太扯了 |
| [09:02] | We are not gonna start over as freshmen. | 我们才不要重新从大一念起 |
| [09:04] | Hey, there’s a freshman mixer tonight. | 今晚有个新生联谊会 |
| [09:06] | Are you guys freshmen? | 你们是新生吗 |
| [09:07] | We can be. | 这个可以有啊 |
| [09:22] | This prank is amazing. | 这个整蛊点子太妙了 |
| [09:23] | He’s gonna come in here later and | 他等会进来肯定会有种 |
| [09:25] | have the creepy feeling someone was in here. | 有人来过的毛骨悚然感 |
| [09:28] | We should go before we get caught. | 趁没人看到赶紧走吧 |
| [09:29] | Well, aren’t we gonna do something now that we’re here? | 雁过留声 人不留痕怎么能撤呢 |
| [09:31] | Do something? | 留痕 |
| [09:33] | All right. | 好得很 |
| [09:35] | A prank on a prank. | 一蛊套一蛊 |
| [09:38] | Let’s move everything on his desk | 我们把桌上东西都移一寸 |
| [09:40] | over an inch except his stapler. | 就留订书机不动 |
| [09:42] | Then he’ll think we moved his stapler. | 他就会觉得有人动过订书机 |
| [09:43] | Oh, my God, there’s so many levels to this. | 天哪 这个点子真是太高超了 |
| [09:45] | How about we fill his car with popcorn? | 要不我们往他车里灌爆米花 |
| [09:47] | That sounds messy. | 好恶心 |
| [09:49] | That sounds messy! | 恶心得好 |
| [09:52] | Okay, keys. Keys. | 好 找钥匙 钥匙 |
| [09:56] | Okay, I’m the dean. | 好 我是院长 |
| [09:58] | I come into my office, | 我走进办公室 |
| [09:59] | Turn on the light. | 打开灯 |
| [10:00] | “Oh, my, did my stapler grow legs and move?” | “天哪 订书机自己长腿能走了吗” |
| [10:04] | Then come over here for coffee. | 然后来这喝咖啡 |
| [10:07] | I would hide my keys in… | 然后就把我的钥匙藏在 |
| [10:20] | – Heels. – Oh, you got skills. | -要踮脚 -你太有才了 |
| [10:25] | – Look who got his ball. – Not my ball. | -某人抢到蛋了呢 -不是我的蛋 |
| [10:27] | Your ball. | 是你的蛋 |
| [10:28] | I just wanted you guys to see it. | 我就是想让大家都看到 |
| [10:29] | New Jeff. | 新杰夫 |
| [10:30] | Jeffrey, is that blood on your shirt? | 杰夫瑞 你衣服上那是血吗 |
| [10:31] | Oh, no, it’s cool. It’s Leonard’s. | 没事 是伦纳德的 |
| [10:35] | Two balls! | 两个蛋 |
| [10:38] | This is gonna be so good when I finally get it. | 等我想出来 肯定会笑死人 |
| [10:44] | It’s a little weird doing this without Abed. | 没和阿布蒂一起来真有些不习惯 |
| [10:46] | Come on. It’ll be fun. | 别这样 会很有意思的 |
| [10:47] | I’ll put my-my Britta twist on it. | 待我布雷塔放出大招扭转乾坤 |
| [10:50] | I got skills. I got skills. | 姐技能好 姐动作骚 |
| [10:54] | – Sorry. – Let’s get this started. | -对不起 -开始许愿吧 |
| [10:56] | We always do the first one together. | 第一个愿望我俩总是一起许 |
| [10:57] | One, two, three. | 一 二 三 |
| [10:59] | – I wish for a great school year. – I wish for 1,000 wishes. | -我希望学业有成 -1000个愿望 |
| [11:01] | Great school year? | 学业有成 |
| [11:03] | The first wish is always for 1,000 wishes. | 第一个愿望一直都是再要1000个愿望 |
| [11:04] | But we have all these coins. | 但是我们有这么多硬币呢 |
| [11:06] | Yeah, but the coins aren’t the wishes. | 可硬币毕竟不是愿望啊 |
| [11:08] | Oh, I didn’t know that. | 我不知道唉 |
| [11:09] | I wish for Britta to have 499 of my remaining wishes. | 我希望布雷塔拥有我剩下的499个愿望 |
| [11:13] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [11:15] | I wish to end all wars. | 我希望结束所有的战争 |
| [11:17] | That’s another rule. | 又犯规了 |
| [11:18] | No wishes containing the word “All.” | 任何愿望都不能包含”所有” |
| [11:20] | Guaranteed ironic consequences. | 肯定会搞出讽刺的后果 |
| [11:21] | I don’t think anyone’s gonna miss wars. | 我觉得没有人会怀念战争吧 |
| [11:23] | Star wars, thumb wars, | 星球大战 拇指大战 |
| [11:25] | Wow, storage wars! | 仓库淘宝大战[真人秀] |
| [11:27] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [11:29] | You can’t get in the fountain. | 你不能进许愿池 |
| [11:30] | – I’m taking that penny back. – I already told you, | -我要把硬币拿回来啊 -我跟你说过了 |
| [11:32] | The pennies aren’t wishes. | 硬币又不是愿望 |
| [11:33] | You can’t flip a wish. | 你不可以”投”愿望 |
| [11:35] | That’s ridiculous. | 太扯了 |
| [11:36] | Your rules are ridiculous. | 你们的规则太扯了 |
| [11:37] | They’re Abed’s rules. | 这是阿布蒂的规则 |
| [11:39] | And they’re awesome, and they always work. | 它们棒极了 每次都能奏效 |
| [11:41] | Well, Abed’s not here, so… | 可阿布蒂不在这里 所以 |
| [11:44] | Unwish! | 取消许愿 |
| [11:45] | – You can’t do that. – I just did. | -你不能这样 -我就这样了 |
| [11:47] | – Unwish! – No! Rewish. | -取消许愿 -不 重新许愿 |
| [11:49] | Un-unwish. | 取消取消许愿 |
| [11:50] | – Give me it! Unwish! – No! | -给我 取消许愿 -不要 |
| [11:53] | – No! – Oh, I’m sorry. | -不要 -不好意思哦 |
| [11:55] | What–you’re helping me! | 你在帮我 |
| [11:56] | You’re helping. I like it. | 你在帮我 我喜欢 |
| [11:59] | – Unwish! Unwish! – Oh, God! | -取消许愿 取消许愿 -天哪 |
| [12:01] | Why does this feel good? | 为何感觉如此舒爽 |
| [12:03] | Stupid, selfish Jeff coming here, | 愚蠢自私的杰夫过来 |
| [12:05] | ruining our senior year. | 破坏了我们的毕业季 |
| [12:07] | Ah, great! My “G”s are back. | 这下好了 我又开始发G音了 |
| [12:09] | Yes, it’s crummy that Jeff is leaving early, | 对啊 杰夫提早毕业是挺差劲的 |
| [12:11] | but we’re all graduating eventually. | 但反正大家最后都会毕业的嘛 |
| [12:13] | But why the rush? | 着什么急嘛 |
| [12:14] | What, so Jeff can run off and be a gross lawyer again? | 杰夫就这么跑去重当臭律师了吗 |
| [12:17] | Troy and Abed start drinking coffee? | 特洛伊和阿布蒂开始喝上了咖啡 |
| [12:18] | I become a boring hospital administrator? | 我会成为一个无聊透顶的医院主任吗 |
| [12:21] | Who wants to do that? | 谁想变成那样啊 |
| [12:22] | You do. Right? | 你啊 不是吗 |
| [12:23] | Yay, hospital administration! | 是吔 医务管理好棒 |
| [12:26] | Can’t wait to be buried alive | 真是迫不及待地想被埋葬在 |
| [12:27] | under a pile of paperwork and bed pans, | 一摞摞的文书和便盆之中呢 |
| [12:29] | just trying to summon the courage to ask out Dr. Patel, | 从而鼓起勇气去约帕特尔医生 |
| [12:32] | and the gorgeous Indian neurosurgeon | 而这位玉树临风的印度裔神经外科医师 |
| [12:34] | who doesn’t even know I exist. | 甚至都不知道我的存在 |
| [12:35] | This isn’t a conversation, is it? | 你已经开启自言自语模式了是吧 |
| [12:38] | The sad, slow March toward death begins. | 由此开始缓慢而苦逼地迈向死亡 |
| [12:43] | Senioritis! | 毕业倦怠症啊 |
| [12:44] | Ready, set… | 预备 开始 |
| [12:53] | Third ball. | 第三个蛋 |
| [13:00] | Fourth ball. | 第四个蛋 |
| [13:10] | Well, well, well. | 哎呦喂 |
| [13:13] | Looks like someone wants to be a hero. | 看来某人想做盖世英雄嘛 |
| [13:15] | A big man. A huge, throbbing, sweaty… | 大高个儿 有着粗壮 挺拔 湿淋淋的 |
| [13:17] | Dean, I just want to get my history credit | 院长 我只想要拿到历史课学分 |
| [13:19] | and get out of here. | 然后离开这里 |
| [13:20] | And I just need to know how bad you want it. | 而我只想知道你有多想要 |
| [13:22] | The next competition will be particularly difficult | 下一项挑战 对你们当中的一些人来说 |
| [13:25] | for some of you because… | 将会格外得困难 因为 |
| [13:26] | It requires complete emotional commitment. | 它要求百分之百全心身的感情投入 |
| [13:29] | The tango. | 探戈 |
| [13:31] | I will be the judge. | 评委是我 |
| [13:32] | There can only be one winner, | 赢家只有一个 |
| [13:33] | so choose your partners wisely. | 所以选舞伴要谨慎 |
| [13:35] | Come on, Winger. | 来吧 翁格 |
| [13:36] | It’s water under the bridge, right? | 前仇旧恨都付诸东流吧 |
| [13:37] | – Partners? – Sorry. | -组队吧 -抱歉 |
| [13:38] | My dance card’s full. | 我已心有所属 |
| [13:40] | For my partner in the tango competition, | 本次探戈比赛我的舞伴 |
| [13:43] | I choose… | 我选 |
| [13:46] | The dean. | 院长 |
| [13:48] | The fountain works. | 许愿池灵验了 |
| [13:57] | All these balls. | 这么多蛋蛋 |
| [13:59] | I’m so close, I can taste it. | 我马上就想到了 就在嘴边 |
| [14:06] | Pierce, only you could turn a freshman mixer into a disaster. | 皮尔斯 也就你能把新生联谊会搅黄 |
| [14:10] | I was this close to getting those two girls. | 我差这么一丁点就能把到那两个妹子了 |
| [14:12] | Jeff, look how close you’re holding your fingers together. | 杰夫 看你两根手指离得多近 |
| [14:15] | That’s your penis. | 你的鸡鸡就那么短 |
| [14:18] | Guys, great news. | 各位 好消息 |
| [14:19] | After just one forensics class, | 我只上了一节法鉴课 |
| [14:21] | I found a way to retrieve our student records. | 就找到了恢复学生档案的方法 |
| [14:23] | It turns out there’s a backup. | 其实我们的档案是有备份的 |
| [14:25] | And it’s in this safe. | 就在保险球中 |
| [14:33] | I have a theory, dean. | 我有个想法 院长 |
| [14:35] | Do tell. | 请讲 |
| [14:36] | I don’t think you want me to graduate. | 我认为你不想让我毕业 |
| [14:38] | Don’t be absurd, Jeffrey. | 别瞎寻思了 杰夫瑞 |
| [14:40] | I want success for all Greendale students. | 我愿格林德尔所有的学生都获得成功 |
| [14:43] | Oh, really? Then answer me this. | 是吗 那你倒是回答我 |
| [14:45] | What happened to the other history class? | 其他的历史课都哪儿去了 |
| [14:47] | What other history class? | 什么其他的历史课 |
| [14:50] | The second history class, the one that actually taught history, | 第二门历史课 真正教授历史的那个 |
| [14:53] | that disappeared from the schedule after I took summer classes. | 我上完暑期班就从课表上消失的课 |
| [14:57] | You’re telling yourself a fantasy. | 你这纯属意淫 |
| [14:59] | Who really made those counterfeited ice cream tickets? | 究竟是谁伪造了冰激凌历史选课申请卡 |
| [15:02] | Who’s so good that they got your handwriting | 是谁把你的笔迹模仿得惟妙惟肖 |
| [15:04] | with its hearts and flourishes? | 连小心心和小花纹都学会了 |
| [15:07] | Oh, God, you’re right. | 天哪 你猜对了 |
| [15:08] | I can’t let you go, Jeffrey. | 我不能放你走 杰夫瑞 |
| [15:10] | You weren’t supposed to compete. | 你本不该来参赛的 |
| [15:11] | You were supposed to walk away with the rest of the study group. | 你本应该和你的学习小组一起掉头离开 |
| [15:14] | You can’t not get rid of me that easily. | 你休想这般轻易地摆脱我 |
| [15:16] | Oh, God, why’d I make it feats of strength and grace? | 为什么我要把比赛搞得这么崇尚力量与优雅 |
| [15:19] | It’s as if I wanted you to win. | 就好像我私心盼着你赢一样 |
| [15:23] | But that can’t be true. | 但是不可以这样 |
| [15:27] | – Smile. – Best friends. | -说茄子 -好基友一辈子 |
| [15:37] | So Let’s hug it out. Okay. | 来嘛 一抱了恩怨 好吧 |
| [15:41] | Here. One more ball to go. | 给 还有最后一个蛋 |
| [15:43] | But it’s another dance contest, | 不过依旧是舞林大会 |
| [15:45] | so I think I got it. | 我赢定了 |
| [15:47] | What’s wrong with Abed? | 阿布蒂怎么了 |
| [15:54] | No, no, no, no, don’t open the safe. | 不不不 别打开保险箱 |
| [15:55] | We’re redoing our first three years. | 我们要把前三年重过一遍 |
| [15:57] | – That’s what I want. – It’s okay, Abed. | -我就想这样 -阿布蒂 没事的 |
| [15:59] | Here’s a trick I use when I feel overwhelmed. | 我有个妙招能应对无法接受的现实 |
| [16:01] | Just imagine a happy place | 只要想象着一个”快乐园” |
| [16:03] | and then go there. | 然后走进去 |
| [16:10] | * Greendale babies * | *格林德尔小宝宝* |
| [16:11] | * We’re happy and we’re free * | *我们快乐幸福又自由* |
| [16:14] | * Greendale babies * | *格林德尔小宝宝* |
| [16:16] | * Fun for you and me * | *乐趣多多我和你* |
| [16:18] | * Greendale baby forever * | *格林德尔小宝宝 永远小亲亲* |
| [16:21] | Greendale babies will be right back | 格林德尔小宝宝马上回来 |
| [16:23] | forever! | 永远小亲亲 |
| [16:28] | Pierce, what did you do to Abed? | 皮尔斯 你对阿布蒂做了什么 |
| [16:31] | Gay balls! | 基佬蛋蛋 |
| [16:33] | Nailed it. | 搞定了 |
| [16:36] | – Don’t ask. – Don’t tell. | -求别问 -求别说 |
| [16:38] | Poor Abed. Is he in his imagination emporium? | 可怜的阿布蒂 他又进入幻梦商店了吗 |
| [16:41] | Dreamatorium. No, this seems like something new. | 是幻梦空间 不对 这次不一样 |
| [16:43] | Abed was having some anxiety about all the changes this year, | 阿布蒂对今年要发生的变化忧心忡忡 |
| [16:47] | so I may have told him to | 所以我之前好像有让他去 |
| [16:48] | go to a happy place in his mind. | 自己想象中的”快乐园” |
| [16:51] | You told him to go somewhere in his mind? | 你居然让他去自己想象中的世界 |
| [16:54] | Do you realize who you told that to? | 你难道不知道阿布蒂是什么人吗 |
| [16:55] | The last competition to win a red ball | 最后一场红蛋争夺战 |
| [16:57] | begins in one minute. | 将在一分钟后打响 |
| [16:59] | Honestly, Jeff, you can go. | 杰夫 你可以去的 |
| [17:00] | No one will think you’re selfish. | 没人会觉得你自私的 |
| [17:03] | This looks bad. | 看似不妙啊 |
| [17:05] | I wish I hadn’t broken Abed. | 但愿我没把阿布蒂毁掉 |
| [17:07] | There is one thing we could try. | 有个方法我们可以试试 |
| [17:10] | Oh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:20] | Hey, let’s play pretend. | 我们来玩扮家家吧 |
| [17:21] | Yeah, we could be cowboys. | 我们可以扮牛仔 |
| [17:23] | We could be spacemen. | 我们可以扮宇航员 |
| [17:28] | That’s right, baby Pierce. We can play forever. | 没错 皮尔斯宝宝 我们可以一直玩到死 |
| [17:32] | – It’s not working. – What’s not working? | -没用 -什么没用 |
| [17:34] | Okay, contestants, final competition begins right now. | 好了选手们 决赛即将开始 |
| [17:38] | God, I hate new Jeff. | 天啊 我真讨厌新杰夫 |
| [17:42] | Hey, guys, I have something to say. | 各位 我有事要说 |
| [17:45] | Yay! Like always! | 嗷嗷 风采依旧 |
| [17:47] | I was just outside Babyville. | 我刚去了宝宝镇外面 |
| [17:49] | There’s nothing outside Babyville. | 宝宝镇没有外面 |
| [17:50] | You know what, there is! | 知道吗 有外面的 |
| [17:53] | And it was scary, | 外面很可怕 |
| [17:54] | because change is always scary. | 因为改变总是可怕的 |
| [17:57] | But then I thought of you guys, | 但我想到了你们 |
| [17:59] | and I wasn’t so scared. | 我就不害怕了 |
| [18:01] | Abed, when you brought this group together, | 阿布蒂 当你组织大家成立学习小组时 |
| [18:02] | you changed our lives, | 就已经改变了我们的人生 |
| [18:04] | but then we changed each other. | 之后我们又改变了彼此 |
| [18:06] | And we’re gonna keep changing in unexpected ways. | 而我们会继续经历未知的改变 |
| [18:09] | And we’re still gonna be friends, | 但我们仍会是朋友 |
| [18:10] | even if we don’t all become professors at Greendale | 就算我们不能都在格林德尔做教授 |
| [18:13] | or open a restaurant together | 或者一起开家餐馆 |
| [18:15] | or move into the same apartment building after Pierce dies. | 或者在皮尔斯死后一起住进他的豪宅 |
| [18:19] | Even if we go somewhere, | 即使我们人会分道扬镳 |
| [18:21] | we’re not going anywhere. | 我们的心也不会散 |
| [18:35] | That was a killer speech, Jeff. | 致辞太赞了 杰夫 |
| [18:37] | I didn’t say anything. | 我啥也没说啊 |
| [18:38] | I literally just walked up. | 我才刚走过来 |
| [18:40] | I know. I made the speech for you. | 我知道 我替你设计的致辞 |
| [18:41] | It hit all the right notes. | 真是字字珠玑 |
| [18:43] | I was trying to hang on to this moment | 我之前对当下的生活紧抓不放 |
| [18:44] | because I was so afraid of the future, | 因为我害怕面对未来 |
| [18:45] | but then I realized all of this was once the future. | 但我发现当下也曾是以前的未来 |
| [18:48] | And it was completely different from what I’d known before. | 而且跟我当年想象得完全不同 |
| [18:50] | And it was happening so fast. | 发生得也特别快 |
| [18:52] | But in the end, or in the now, I guess, | 但最后 或者说在当下 |
| [18:54] | it turned out great. | 这样也挺棒的 |
| [18:55] | And just like ice cream, | 就像冰激凌一样 |
| [18:57] | we’ve melted together and made a new– | 我们融化在一起 形成了新的… |
| [18:59] | I just had to run the scenario to figure it out. | 我还是自己想象比较好 |
| [19:01] | – Sorry I missed the fountain. – It’s okay. | -抱歉我没赶上许愿池许愿 -没关系 |
| [19:03] | Britta introduced a new rule– | 布雷塔带来了新规则 |
| [19:05] | no rules. | 不限规则 |
| [19:07] | Cool. We can discuss it. | 很好 可以讨论一下 |
| [19:08] | When they were incepting, | 在某些人玩盗梦空间时 |
| [19:09] | I got their balls. | 我把蛋蛋都偷走啦 |
| [19:15] | Well, now that we’re out of “History of Ice Cream”, | 既然我们选不上冰激凌历史课了 |
| [19:17] | I can finally take “Advanced Claims Denial.” | 我终于可以去上高级否定课了 |
| [19:19] | You should take “Forensics.” | 你应该选法鉴课 |
| [19:24] | Can somebody tell me what the hell we just did? | 谁能告诉我刚才到底是怎么回事 |
| [19:29] | Jeffrey. | 杰夫瑞 |
| [19:30] | Jeffrey, wait. | 杰夫瑞 等等 |
| [19:31] | Dean, what are you– | 院长 你干嘛 |
| [19:33] | You smell like the floor of a movie theater. | 你身上有股电影院的地板味 |
| [19:34] | Yeah, but not for the usual reasons. | 没错 但不是你想的那样 |
| [19:36] | I have had the worst day. | 今天我过得很糟 |
| [19:37] | Our dance photo didn’t come out, | 咱俩热舞的照片没拍成功 |
| [19:39] | someone moved my stapler, | 我的订书机还被人动过 |
| [19:41] | and, worst of all, I hurt you. | 最重要的是 我伤害了你 |
| [19:43] | But you’ll be happy to know | 但你现在该高兴了 |
| [19:44] | that we’ll be offering another history class, | 我们要开设另一门历史课 |
| [19:47] | because I care about you. | 因为我很在乎你 |
| [19:49] | And not because I found out if we don’t offer a real | 绝不是因为我发现如果咱们学校不开 |
| [19:50] | history class we’ll lose, like, $40,000 in grant money. | 正经历史课的话就要失去四万块的拨款 |
| [19:53] | Thank you, dean. | 谢谢你 院长 |
| [19:55] | By the way, you didn’t have to come all this way | 不过你不需要特意跑这一趟 |
| [19:56] | – to tell me that. – Oh, no, it wasn’t a problem. | -来告诉我 -没事 没关系 |
| [19:59] | It’s on my way. | 我也是顺路 |
| [20:02] | Please tell me you’re breaking into that condo. | 别告诉我你要硬闯那间公寓 |
| [20:04] | No, I bought it. | 没有 这房我买了 |
| [20:06] | Now we’ll be like almost roomies. | 我们以后就能做准寓友啦 |
| [20:08] | Oh, good, you got wine. I’ve got friends with benefits. | 太好了 你有酒哎 真是我的好基友 |
| [20:11] | No subtext. | 没有潜台词 |
| [20:12] | I don’t know why I was so worried about change. | 真不知我为什么那么担心改变 |
| [20:15] | This year’s gonna be great. | 今年一定会特别精彩 |
| [20:16] | I’ll be right over. | 我会一直在你身边哦 |
| [20:49] | Are you sure this is gonna work? | 你确定这招能行吗 |
| [20:50] | Guaranteed to work. It’s an antic. | 必须的 这可是八婆课 |
| [20:54] | Ahh! Not so fast, you two. | 别走那么快 你们俩 |
| [20:56] | – Get ready to run. – In these heels? | -准备好逃跑 -这大高跟咋跑 |
| [21:00] | Where’d you girls get those dresses? | 妹子们 这裙子哪淘的啊 |
| [21:01] | They’re fabulous. | 美呆了 |
| [21:04] | They’re charming. | 很美哒 对吧 |
| [21:06] | Not so fast, mister. | 别走那么快 先生 |
| [21:08] | – Excuse you? – Excuse me. Thank you, sir. | -你说什么 -对不住 谢谢您先生 |
| [21:10] | – Not for you. – Hello, it’s Britta. | -你不能进去 -我是布雷塔 |
| [21:12] | Okay, I know a man when I see one. | 我还是认得出纯爷们的好吧 |
| [21:14] | Oh, Lord, no! | 天啊 不是吧 |