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废柴联盟(Community)第3季第19集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 废柴联盟(Community)第3季第19集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:02] Look at us, still together as a group even, 瞧咱们 还是学习小组一家亲
[00:04] what, two months after being kicked out of you know where. 哪怕是从那什么地方 被踢出来两个月了
[00:09] Yeah, good thing I came up 得感谢我想出这
[00:10] with this idea for potluck dinners. “百家饭”的好点子
[00:12] Pierce, all you said was, “I’m hungry.” 皮尔斯 你就说了句”老子饿了”
[00:13] All Henry Ford said was, “I need a ride.” 人家福特创始人也只说了句”我要坐车”
[00:15] Troy, is that a casserole? 特洛伊 这是炖砂锅吗
[00:18] It’s bagel bites in a deconstructed hot pocket reduction 这是速食迷你百吉饼加速食馅饼
[00:20] with a doritos glaze. 加袋装玉米片大杂烩
[00:21] I just really want to make my food, you know. 我想整点儿自己风格的东西
[00:24] Did anybody bring anything that isn’t poison? 有没有谁带的是健康食品
[00:27] I need to eat natural, organic foods, 我得吃天然有机食品
[00:29] or I’m never gonna get rid of this hangover. 否则我就拿这宿醉没辙了
[00:32] Jeff, what’d you bring? 杰夫 你带了什么
[00:34] Pack of lifesavers. 一包薄荷圈圈糖
[00:36] – Sorry. Dead battery. – Where’s Abed? -抱歉 没电的电池 -阿布蒂呢
[00:39] Have you seen Abed? 有见到阿布蒂吗
[00:41] He’s probably out getting something really cool for the dinner. 他可能是出去给咱找些超赞的吃的
[00:45] See? Cool. Abed brought delicious police. 瞧 超赞 阿布蒂带来秀色可餐的警官
[00:51] Abed, what happened? 阿布蒂 出什么事了
[00:53] Found your friend going through the dumpster 再次逮到你们的朋友
[00:54] outside the administration building in Greendale again. 钻格林德尔行政楼外面的垃圾箱
[00:56] This cadet could use a lesson in intergalactic protocol. 这位长官应该学习下星际协议
[01:01] It’s okay, officer. 没事的 警官
[01:02] He’s just playing a character from tv. 他只是模仿电视角色而已
[01:04] Oh, yes, I’m very familiar with Inspector Spacetime. 是啊 我自己也经常看《时空探长》
[01:07] You think a guy becomes a cop 不然你们以为我投身警界
[01:08] because his prom night was a dream? 是因为毕业舞会如梦似幻吗
[01:10] If this were comic-con, I’d take a bullet for that kid. 如果是动漫大会 我为这孩子死都行
[01:13] But, here in the real world, 可在现实世界里
[01:14] trespassing is a crime. 非法入侵可是犯罪
[01:15] We’re sorry, officer. 对不起了 警官
[01:16] Our friend has been having a hard time 我们这位朋友现在处于非常时期
[01:19] adjusting to being expelled from Greendale. 被格林德尔开除后 还没适应
[01:22] It won’t happen again. 绝不会有下次了
[01:23] That’s for sure. 当然不会了
[01:24] I talked to your former dean. 我跟你们的前院长谈过了
[01:25] I recommended he press charges. 我建议他提出诉讼
[01:27] He said he’d hold off on the condition that you set 他说愿意缓缓 条件是和这家伙
[01:29] an appointment with this guy. 约个时间
[01:30] He’s offering to foot the bill for the consultation himself. 院长愿意支付看病的费用
[01:33] It’s the number for a psychiatrist. 这是心理医生的电话
[01:35] What? No. Abed’s not crazy. 搞什么 才不去 阿布蒂不是疯子
[01:37] – What does the Dean get off? – He’s not the real Dean. -院长搞什么啊 -他不是真的院长
[01:39] He’s been replaced by an identical life-form 他被外貌相同的人形替代了
[01:41] for some nefarious purpose. 替代目的相当邪恶
[01:42] Reggie, to the time booth. 雷吉 到时间位上来
[01:44] We haven’t much… space. 我们没有足够的 空间
[01:46] I’ll be right there, inspector. 我马上来 探长
[01:49] Hey, before I go, you really shouldn’t be using this 走前再啰嗦下 你们真不该用这个
[01:52] to prop open your building’s door. 抵住公寓大门
[01:54] This is an antique fire brick. 这可是古董耐火砖
[01:55] I’d say pre-civil war. 我觉得是内战前的
[01:57] Note the uneven orange hue and the embossment on the back. 瞧这不均匀的橙色 还有背面的凸起
[02:01] What a nifty little piece of americana. 多么美丽的美国历史文物啊
[02:03] You could get 50, 60 bucks for it from the right collector. 找对收藏家 能挣个五六十块呢
[02:07] I watch a lot of antiques roadshow. 我是《寻宝》节目粉
[02:11] Anyway, walk to your cars in pairs tonight. 另外 今晚去拿车时最好有个伴儿
[02:14] Rape’s up 8%. 强奸案上升了8%
[02:18] $60? 六十刀
[02:21] Hello? Rich people, Troy’s joining you. 你好 有钱佬 特洛伊想加入
[02:24] Yes, I’ll hold. 好的 我等着
[02:59] Abed. 阿布蒂
[03:00] I’m Dr. Heidi. 我是海迪医生
[03:01] We’re going to have a little chat tonight, 今晚咱俩聊聊
[03:03] you and I. How does that sound? 就你和我 怎么样
[03:04] I don’t need therapy. 我不用看心理医生
[03:06] Well, that’s a perfectly normal response. 这是很标准的正常反应
[03:08] I concur with Dr. Heidi’s diagnosis. 我同意海迪医生的诊断
[03:10] I haven’t diagnosed anything yet. 我还没得出任何诊断
[03:12] Psych major. Got your back, brah. 我是心理专业的 我挺你 小哥
[03:15] I have to say, I didn’t expect 我得说 没想到
[03:17] to see so many of you. 会有这么多人来
[03:20] Abed won’t go to any kind of doctor on his own. 阿布蒂不愿单独去见任何类型的医生
[03:22] We caught him last year trying to remove his own tonsils. 我们去年逮到他想自己切扁桃体
[03:25] Well, why don’t you let me take it from here? 这里还是交给我吧
[03:27] You have to understand about Abed. 你得理解阿布蒂
[03:28] He’s usually, you know, adorable weird, 他通常是萌版怪异
[03:30] Like Mork from Ork, but, 就像《莫克与明蒂》里的外星人
[03:32] since we got expelled, 自从我们被开除后
[03:33] he’s been creepy weird, 就变成渗人型怪异了
[03:34] like present-day Robin Williams. 一如现在的罗宾·威廉姆斯
[03:36] – I’m not crazy. – Well, Abed, -我没疯 -阿布蒂
[03:38] I don’t deal in crazy. 我不是治疯病的
[03:40] I deal in health. 我是送健康的
[03:42] So how long has Abed needed a crazy amount of help? 阿布蒂发疯并需要你们盯着 有多久了
[03:48] All of this behavior started after you were expelled? 这些行为是从你们被开除后开始的吗
[03:54] There may have been a ramp-up. 以前也有不少
[03:59] It’s okay, buddy. 没事的 兄弟
[04:01] Just a few more minutes, 再坚持几分钟
[04:02] and we’re good until spring, okay? 春天前都没事了[调整夏令时]
[04:03] But it doesn’t make any sense. 可这根本说不通
[04:04] Think of it this way. 这样想
[04:06] We get the hour back later in the year. 今年的时间晚了一个钟头
[04:08] Yeah. 是啊
[04:11] I rent Tower Heist last night, 我昨晚租了《高楼大劫案》
[04:13] and I won’t spoil the ending, but let me tell you, 我不会剧透哈 不过告诉你
[04:14] it was quite the hilarious thrill ride. 还挺紧张刺激欢快的
[04:16] That Brett Ratner, 那个布莱特·拉特纳
[04:18] he’s a master at comedic action-adventure. 真是喜剧动作冒险电影大师
[04:20] A master at storytelling. 叙事高手
[04:22] He’s just a master at making movies in general. 他就是一代电影宗师
[04:25] I’m gonna say it. He’s the new Spielberg. 我觉得吧 他就是新的斯皮尔伯格
[04:30] I have to go. Excuse me. 我得走了 借过
[04:34] You’re a bad person. You’re a bad person. 你是个坏人 你是个坏人
[04:40] Time enough at last to eat a sandwich. 还够时间吃个三明治
[04:43] Though even he knew that this sandwich 即使他知道这个三明治
[04:44] was nearer his last sandwich than his first. 更像是最后一个 而不是第一个
[04:46] Abed, I’m trying to eat. 阿布蒂 我这儿吃饭呢
[04:48] He said, oldly, 他如此说 略显苍老
[04:49] his brittle bones straining to support the weight of his wrinkly skin. 他那脆弱的骨骼尽力支撑着满是皱纹的皮肤
[04:54] Stop narrating me. 别给我加旁白
[04:56] He shouted to no one, 他向着空气呵斥
[04:57] just a man alone in time with nothing 一无所有的孤独老人
[04:59] but the cold squishiness of tuna salad to comfort him. 只有吞拿鱼沙拉的残羹冷炙带来的小小安慰
[05:01] I take it back. 我收回之前的话
[05:02] I don’t want to be in your novel. 我不想出现在你的小说里
[05:04] Pierce Hawthorne had nearly lost his grip on reality. 皮尔斯·霍桑几乎丧失了对现实的掌控力
[05:06] Lately, he’d begun to think he was in a novel. 最近 他开始觉得他是小说人物
[05:08] And action. 开拍
[05:12] Abed, what the hell are you doing? 阿布蒂 你搞毛啊
[05:14] Cut. We got it. One more for safety. 停 可以了 再拍一条备用
[05:16] Abed, it’s 4:30 in the morning, 阿布蒂 现在是早上四点半
[05:17] and you’re in my bedroom. 你跑到我的卧室里了
[05:18] Use that. Okay. 这条不错 好的
[05:19] And action. 开拍
[05:21] But that’s almost completely nearly all of it. 可差不多就是这些了
[05:24] If Abed is as sick as you all say, 如果阿布蒂如你们描述的一样不正常
[05:26] – then I have no– – Wait a minute. -那我只能…-别急
[05:27] Nobody in this room gets to define sick. 这屋里没人有权诊断他人”不正常”
[05:30] I do. 我有权
[05:31] I’m a psychiatrist. 我是心理医生
[05:32] Any kind of doctor can really. 是医生就行
[05:34] – Really? – Yes. -真的吗 -是的
[05:36] Well, if Abed’s sick, 如果阿布蒂不正常
[05:37] – Then we’re all sick. – Yeah. -那我们没一个是正常的 -就是
[05:39] You can’t determine a person’s sanity 你不能通过几个逗乐的故事
[05:41] from a few amusing stories. 来判定他人是否神智清楚
[05:42] – Exactly. – That’s right. -正是 -没错
[05:44] I mean, if anything, Abed’s more sane than any of us. 要我说 阿布蒂的神智比我们都清楚
[05:46] – Yeah. – Well… -是啊 -那个…
[05:48] I mean, he’s certainly 他当然是
[05:49] the craziest one of us, 我们几个中最疯狂的
[05:50] but, you know, we’re all kind of crazy-town banana pants. 但是 我们都有点疯里来晕里去
[05:55] Talk to me about crazy-town banana pants. 说说这个”疯里来晕里去”吧
[05:58] Look, we’re just saying it’s been a crazy year for everybody. 意思就是说 今年对所有人来说都不容易
[06:01] Who among us hasn’t had the odd banana 咱们这几个 谁没有
[06:03] in his or her pants, right? 疯来晕去的时候
[06:04] I have. 我有
[06:13] How long does peyote last? 迷幻药的药力会持续多久
[06:15] Just asking for a friend. 替朋友问的
[06:17] Troy and Abed and Annie in the morning 特洛伊 阿布蒂 安妮的早间秀
[06:21] What are you doing? 你在做什么
[06:22] Nothing. 没什么
[06:24] Nothing my ass. 没你个大头
[06:25] What are all these cameras doing here? 这些摄像机是搞什么飞机的
[06:31] Here, take my coat. 外套给你
[06:35] Thank you. 谢谢
[06:37] That’s so sweet. 你真好
[06:39] Just don’t eat anything or drink anything, 穿着的时候不要饮食
[06:41] and no sweating or bending at the elbows, 不要流汗 胳膊肘放平
[06:44] and no chairs with backrests, and if you take it off, 有靠背的椅子不能坐 如果脱下来
[06:47] wooden hangers only. 只能用木质衣架悬挂
[06:51] You’re probably warm now, right? 你现在应该暖和了 对吧
[06:57] Good news, guys. 好消息 伙计们
[06:58] I spent all my money. 我一贫如洗了
[07:00] Troy, you can’t bring that in here. 特洛伊 你不能开这个进来
[07:01] Yes, I can. It’s all-terrain, dummy. 当然可以 这可是全地形车 傻妹子
[07:03] I made a plate of cookies for the study group, 我给咱们小组做了些饼干
[07:05] but my boys ate them, 但全被我的儿子吃了
[07:06] so since they took something of yours, 既然他们拿了你们的东西
[07:08] you all get something of theirs. 就得给点东西你们
[07:10] Elijah loves this, Britta. 伊莱贾喜欢这个 给你布雷塔
[07:12] There you go, Jeff. There you go, Troy. 这个给你 杰夫 这给你 特洛伊
[07:15] Karate championship, second place! 空手道冠军赛 第二名
[07:19] Now I’ll be unstoppable. 我现在所向无敌了
[07:23] So you see what you call insanity 你称为的精神错乱
[07:24] we call solidarity. 我们称为团结一致
[07:26] I’m sorry. 抱歉
[07:27] We just finished telling him about it, 刚跟他讲完这事儿
[07:29] and you grab it and squeeze it? 你就又抓又捏的
[07:31] I said I was sorry. 都说了抱歉了
[07:33] And so as a group, do you always indulge Abed 作为一个小组 在这样的不幸中
[07:36] in these little misadventures? 你们总是包庇阿布蒂吗
[07:38] Take that back. 你收回这话
[07:39] Our adventures are very manly. 咱们的冒险很爷们儿
[07:44] I have to say there’s nothing more important 我得说对心理健康来说
[07:45] to mental health than a support system. 没什么比团队支持更重要了
[07:47] And assuming that this group is, 假设这个团队
[07:49] for Abed, said support system, 对阿布蒂来说 是一个支持团队
[07:52] I think I’ve heard everything I need to hear 我觉得我已经听到了确诊
[07:54] in order to make a decision. 所需要的一切信息
[07:56] I think that Abed should be committed. 我认为阿布蒂应该入院[也有致力的意思]
[08:00] You mean committed to his character work, right? 你是说致力于模仿表演吗
[08:03] Because he already is. 因为他已经投入了
[08:04] Abed, show him your Don Draper. 阿布蒂 给他来个唐·德雷柏[《广告狂人》主演]
[08:05] Cigarettes. 香烟
[08:06] No, I mean an institution. 不 我是说病院[也有制度的意思]
[08:10] You mean like marriage? 你是说婚姻制度吧
[08:11] I mean a mental institution. 我是说精神病院
[08:13] Ah. So do I. 哈 我也这意思
[08:15] Will someone please help me lighten the mood? 拜托来个人帮我搞搞气氛吧
[08:22] Please, Mr. Dr. Psychiatrist, sir, 求你了 心理医生先生
[08:25] please don’t send my best friend to crazy people jail. 求你别把我最好的朋友送进疯子监狱
[08:28] Relax. He doesn’t have the right. 别慌 他没这权力
[08:29] Abed’s not dangerous. 阿布蒂没有危险性
[08:31] Yeah, he’s just unique, like a snowflake 他只是独一无二罢了 就像雪花
[08:33] who gets bent out of shape when you mix Star Sars and Space Treks. 别人搞混《星战》和《星际》时 他才会生气
[08:36] Or a serial killer’s signature. 或者弄错连环杀人犯的特点时
[08:38] I’m a psych major. 姐可是心理学专业的
[08:40] His continued obsession with Greendale Community College 他对格林德尔社区大学的持续迷念
[08:42] suggests the potential for escalation. 显示病情有加重的可能
[08:44] And, frankly, these stories you’ve been telling me 坦白说 你们讲的这些事
[08:46] – are very troubling. – You’re troubled? -麻烦大了 -你有麻烦
[08:48] I don’t remember any of those things happening. 这些事我一点也不记得
[08:51] Since when do these three live together? 这仨什么时候住一起的
[08:52] Look, Abed’s obsession with Greendale doesn’t make him crazy. 阿布蒂对格林德尔的迷恋并不代表他疯了
[08:55] If you had gone to school there, 如果你也在那里上学
[08:57] you’d be obsessed with it too. 你一样会迷恋那里
[08:58] It was a messed-up place. 那地方乱得有水平
[08:59] – We had lockers. – Yeah. -我们居然有储物柜 -就是
[09:01] We’re survivors. 我们是幸存者
[09:04] My name is pwofussa wobinswin. 瓦系罗宾森教授[婴儿讲话有些音发为w]
[09:07] Who’s weady to wearn? 谁准备好学习了吖
[09:09] Dean, this is not the way to agree on parking 院长 这可不是同意给招聘会
[09:12] for the job fair! It’s inhumane. 停车位的好办法 这简直是无视人道
[09:15] You have a better idea, Britta? 你有更好的主意吗 布雷塔
[09:17] Yes. Thousands of them. 是的 多了去了
[09:19] Vicki to queen 3. 薇琪上皇后3
[09:22] Neigh. 嘶
[09:30] That’s all for today. 今天就到这里
[09:32] Read chapter four. 好好看看第四章
[09:37] Okay, we’re just gonna ignore that. 好吧 就当没看见了
[09:50] – Bananas? – Yes. -香蕉 -可以
[09:52] – Toast? – Yes. -吐司 -可以
[09:53] – Bubble gum? – Yes. -泡泡糖 -可以
[09:55] – Pancakes? – Yes. -煎饼 -可以
[09:56] – Fries? – Get out. -薯条 -出去
[09:59] Get out. 出去啊
[10:01] There’s one every year. 每年都有一个混蛋
[10:02] I will not tolerate clowning. 我不允许哗众取宠
[10:05] – Car keys? – Yes. -车钥匙 -行啊
[10:06] Okay, last bathroom break. We’ve got to cram for… 最后一次上厕所了 咱得临时抱佛脚
[10:12] Excuse me, sir, can we get to our– 打扰下 先生 我们可以…
[10:17] Slow your bones, Rufus. 省点力气 鲁弗斯
[10:19] We got a long road tomorrow. 明天还得赶远路呢
[10:23] Welcome… 欢迎
[10:28] to ladders. 来到梯子课
[10:32] Interesting. 有意思
[10:36] Just wanted to see if we got the same thing. 想看看咱们的意见是否一致
[10:38] It sounds as though this Greendale had quite an effect on all of you. 听起来 格林德尔对在座各位影响不小
[10:43] You should all definitely stop dwelling on it 如果你们想心理健康
[10:44] if you want to be healthy. 就应该离开
[10:45] Well, come on, it wasn’t all bad. 拜托 还是有好事的
[10:48] I was there longer than anybody, and I’m fine. 我在学校比他们待得都久 我挺好啊
[10:50] How are you? 你好吗
[10:51] Why do you ask? 3:30. 为什么问 三点半
[10:55] What Pierce was saying 皮尔斯在日落综合症
[10:56] before he started sundowning is true. 发病前 所说的是真的
[10:58] We can’t just pass the crazy buck to Greendale. 我们不能把疯狂的责任推给格林德尔
[11:00] It could be a good place too. 那学校其实挺不错的
[11:02] That really doesn’t matter. 这没有关系
[11:03] Yeah, we have a lot of memories 说的对 我们拥有
[11:05] of Greendale being in our corner. 不少关于格林德尔的回忆
[11:06] Dean-a-ling. I just wanted to drop by 院长驾到浪里格浪 我只是过来
[11:08] and tell you we ought to be hot-stepping it out 告诉大家 我们应该火辣的撤离
[11:10] to the parking lot in a brisk, but orderly fashion. 欣欣然并井然有序地前往停车场
[11:13] – Is there a fire drill? – No, sir, there’s an actual fire. -消防演习吗 -不 真着火了
[11:16] I wanted you guys to be the first to know 我还没公开宣布 就想
[11:18] before I tell everyone else. 让你们先撤
[11:19] I know. It’s not right to play favorites, 我知道 这时候不该照顾最得宠的
[11:21] but it is no more right to sit on your feelings, 但纠结感情也是不应该的
[11:23] and I don’t know what I’d do without you guys. 没你们我真不知如何是好
[11:25] Okay, fire, fire! There’s a fire! 着火啦 着火啦 学校着火啦
[11:37] Darcy, you’ve got a cold. 达西 你感冒了
[11:38] – I feel fine. – You’re sick. Go home! -我很好 -你病了 回家去
[11:41] Get out of here. Get out of here. 快滚 快滚
[11:42] Get out of here. Get out of here! 给我滚 给我滚
[11:44] I can’t believe we got here too late for pizza. 居然来晚了连披萨都没得吃
[11:47] Worst pizza day ever. 最惨的披萨日
[11:48] Oh, darn it. 见鬼
[11:50] What am I gonna do with all this garbage? 叫我拿这些垃圾怎么办
[11:54] Psst, it’s me, the Dean. 是我 院长
[11:58] I pulled the last six pieces of pizza for you. 我为你们留了最后的六块披萨
[12:04] Back to garbage detail. 继续整垃圾咯
[12:06] We have a few students with birthdays today, 今天有些同学过生日
[12:09] but, hey, why single them out? 可为什么要让他们与众不同呢
[12:11] What about the students who aren’t celebrating anything at all? 那些没有庆祝任何事件的同学又如何呢
[12:14] Are they any less special? 难道他们就不特别吗
[12:18] Troy and Jeffrey 特洛伊和杰夫瑞
[12:20] and Annie and Britta 安妮和布雷塔
[12:22] and Shirley and Pierce 雪瑞和皮尔斯
[12:23] and Abed and Jeffrey 阿布蒂和杰夫瑞
[12:25] just a few of the most special students in the world. 全世界最特别的学生啊
[12:33] Damn it. Out of slugs. 妈的 没子弹了
[12:35] Next time, I’ll put you square, 下次老子会堵死你们
[12:37] you pickle-sucking MacGillicuddy. 你个逊到爆的麦吉利卡迪
[12:40] Why did you save me, Dean? 为什么要救我 院长
[12:43] I know how important paintball is to you, Abed. 我知道彩弹大战对你来说有多重要 阿布蒂
[12:46] I wanted you to win. 我要你赢
[12:48] It’s not important anymore. 已经不重要了
[12:49] I get it now. 我现在才明白
[12:50] It just feels forced. 只是浮云而已
[12:52] You just enjoy your prize– 好好享受你赢得的奖品
[12:55] Free tickets to… 在格林德尔艺术中心
[12:57] To see Chicago at the Greendale civic center… 免费观看《芝加哥》
[13:01] With George Wendt and… 跟乔治·温迪特和
[13:06] Stefanie Powers. 史黛芬妮·鲍尔一起
[13:11] Lame! 烂片
[13:16] Okay. 好吧
[13:17] That was great, 不错
[13:19] but you really didn’t need to go into it. 没必要说得这么具体哈
[13:21] You know what occurs to me? 知道我想到什么吗
[13:22] What all those great Greendale memories have in common? 格林德尔美好回忆的共同点
[13:25] I was barely in them? 我出场次数太少?
[13:26] They were all about Dean Pelton. 都是关于派尔顿院长的回忆
[13:28] That’s what I’ve been trying to make 这就是过去两个月
[13:29] you guys understand for the last two months. 我想让你们明白的
[13:30] I keep telling you, we weren’t expelled by the real Dean. 我一直说 我们不是被真正的院长开除的
[13:33] It couldn’t have been him. He loved us. 不可能是他 他爱我们
[13:35] Maybe we’ve been so concerned with moving past Greendale, 也许我们太专注于走出格林德尔的阴影
[13:38] We’ve been living in denial. 我们陷在否认阶段出不来了
[13:39] It’s true. I mean, let’s face it. 的确 面对现实吧
[13:42] We weren’t driven crazy by Greendale. 格林德尔没有逼疯我们
[13:44] And Abed’s not the crazy one for obsessing about it. 疯狂迷恋学校的并不是阿布蒂
[13:47] Abed, we’re sorry. We haven’t been supporting you, 阿布蒂 对不起 我们没有支持你
[13:50] And we haven’t been honest with ourselves. 我们没有诚实地对待自己
[13:52] Dr. Heidi, something weird is going on with that school. 海迪医生 学校发生了一些可疑的事
[13:55] Abed doesn’t need to be here. 阿布蒂不需要在这里
[13:56] We need to be there. 学校需要我们
[13:59] But there is no there. 但根本就没有学校
[14:02] That’s the problem. That’s why we have to go back. 这是问题所在 所以我们得回去
[14:04] No, you can’t go back to Greendale. 你们不可能回到格林德尔
[14:06] Why? Because it isn’t healthy? 为什么 不利于健康吗
[14:08] ’cause it doesn’t exist. 因为学校根本不存在
[14:12] I parked by a meter. 我停车的地方计时收费啊
[14:14] Any of y’all park by a meter? 你们停车的地方呢
[14:17] Wait, what? 等下 你说什么
[14:24] What do you mean Greendale doesn’t exist? 格林德尔不存在是什么意思
[14:26] Well, there is a place called Greendale, 是有个地方叫格林德尔
[14:28] and you all spent three years there, 你们都在那里度过了三年
[14:30] but it was not a community college. 但不是社区大学
[14:38] These memories that you people have been sharing 你们共享的这些回忆
[14:41] are a shared psychosis. 是共享精神错乱
[14:44] You were patients there together, 你们一起住院
[14:46] you were released together, and I am alarmed to see 一起出院 现在我警觉到
[14:48] that you are now relapsing together. 你们一起发病了
[14:51] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 绝对不可能
[14:53] This is not real. 这不是真的
[14:55] You’re lying. 你在撒谎
[14:56] Search your mind for the real memories. 在头脑里寻找真实的记忆
[14:59] Try to look past the trauma you’ve been blocking out. 试试寻找你们屏蔽的心灵伤痕
[15:02] – What trauma? – You all came -什么心灵伤痕 -你们都是
[15:04] to this community college after your lives had fractured. 在生活破碎后来到社区大学的
[15:08] Pill addiction, failed legal career, 磕药成瘾 律师事业失败
[15:10] broken marriage, lost scholarship, 离婚 痛失奖学金
[15:13] – old– – Enough! I don’t want to hear mine. -老迈 -够了 我不想听我的
[15:17] And, if we were going to fabricate a delusion, 如果我们要虚构
[15:19] why would we fabricate a community college? 为什么要虚构社区大学
[15:22] Ah, yes, this fantastical community college 是啊 这所无以伦比的社区大学
[15:25] where everything that happens is unbelievably ridiculous 发生的所有事情都如此荒唐
[15:29] and it all revolves around you as a group. 而且都发生在你们团队周围
[15:32] The same reason anyone plunges into psychosis, Miss Perry. 和其他人得精神病的原因一样 派利小姐
[15:35] It was a mentally-compatible alternative 精神的和谐替代了
[15:37] to your grim reality. 残酷的现实
[15:44] Can you believe the secret trampoline we found? 我们发现的秘密蹦床太爽了
[15:47] I know. It’s so great. 就是啊 感觉太好了
[15:58] For greendale! 为格林德尔而战
[15:59] Charge! 装弹
[16:01] Come on, leonard. 快点 伦纳德
[16:04] Baby boomer santa 婴儿潮世代圣诞老人
[16:06] Thank you for everything 感谢你的赐予
[16:08] You’re welcome, you’re welcome 不必客气 不必客气
[16:10] for everything in the world 给予盛世而已
[16:12] – Terry, stop it. – You’re welcome, hey. -泰瑞 够了 -你等不必拘礼
[16:15] – Let’s do a clip show. – Bottle episode. -我们来个回顾集吧 -来个瓶装集
[16:15] 剧组经费不多时 一集尽量只拍一个场景并只用常规演员 本剧有几集瓶装集的经典
[16:17] – Don’t forget the clip show. – Harrison Ford. -别忘了回顾集 -哈里森·福特
[16:18] – Remember when we went camping? – Yes. -记得我们去露营吗 -记得
[16:20] Remember when we painted the nursery? 记得我们油漆育儿室吗
[16:21] Yes. – Remember when we remembered -记得 -记得当我们在
[16:22] going camping while we were in the nursery? 育儿室时记得去露营吗
[16:27] I’m a millionaire, I’m an inventor, 我是百万富翁 我是发明家
[16:29] I’m a legend, 我是传奇
[16:31] and I had sex with Eartha Kitt. 我上了艾萨·凯特[27年出生的歌手]
[16:32] It’s sad. 太可怜了
[16:34] – Should we increase their lithium? – Not yet. -要增加药的锂含量吗 -不到时候
[16:36] I want to see what happens 我想看看没收其中
[16:38] if we confiscate one of their pens. 一人的笔 会有何后果
[16:45] It’s not possible. 这 不可能
[16:50] You say you started as a spanish study group. 你们说是以西班牙语学习小组开始的
[16:54] Do any of you speak spanish? 你们有谁会说西班牙语吗
[16:58] And you’ve attended Greendale for three years, 你们在格林德尔上了三年学了
[17:00] but don’t community colleges end after two? 但社区大学不是只有两年吗
[17:02] Everyone’s always saying that. 大家都这样说
[17:04] The average community college student attends school 其实上社区大学的平均年限是
[17:07] five to seven years. 五到七年
[17:08] Many offer four-year degrees. 许多社区大学都有四年的文凭
[17:09] In your mind, they do. 在你们的幻想里 是这样
[17:11] In your mind. 幻想而已
[17:12] And you shared this delusion with each other, like that time 你们彼此分享幻觉 就像以前90年代
[17:16] all those people got into swing dance music back in the ’90s. 大家都一窝蜂地沉迷摇摆舞一样
[17:19] And then you were released, 然后你们出院了
[17:20] probably because your insurance ran out. 可能是医保没钱了
[17:22] But the official story is that you’re now fit 但官方版本是 你们现在
[17:25] to live within society again. 又融入社会了
[17:27] You just have to accept the truth. 只是你们得 接受真相
[17:41] Wait. 等等
[17:43] Give me a break. That made no sense. 有没有搞错啊 狗屁不通
[17:47] Yeah, it’s me. 是我
[17:48] No, I think they bought it. 我觉得他们信了
[17:50] I had to do a little riffing at the end, 结尾处来了点即兴
[17:51] but I was pretty convincing. 但我很有说服力
[17:54] Well, if it looks like I’m sneaking out the window, 如果你们觉得我是在溜窗而出
[17:57] it’s just a symptom of your deepening psychosis. 那只是你们严重精神病的病症而已
[17:59] – Don’t hurt me. – Greendale doesn’t exist? -别打我 -格林德尔不存在
[18:01] How long did you think we’d buy that? 你觉得我们会信多久
[18:03] I’m literally carrying a Greendale backpack. 我背着如假包换的格林德尔背包
[18:05] I have, like, 1,000 pictures of the campus on my phone. 我手机里有上千张学校的照片
[18:07] I have children I see every day. 我天天见到我孩子
[18:08] I have definitely not been locked up. 我绝对没有被关起来过
[18:10] Get him. 抓住他
[18:12] Why would you lie to make us think we were crazy? 你为什么要撒谎 让我们觉得自己疯了
[18:15] Because, Ms. Edison, 因为 埃迪生小姐
[18:16] Greendale is purgatory, 格林德尔是炼狱
[18:18] and I am the devil. 而我是恶魔
[18:20] – What? – I knew it. -什么 -我就知道
[18:22] Stop letting him make you realize stuff. 别让他搞得你顿悟什么的
[18:25] These aren’t even good lies. 这句谎话太烂了
[18:27] All right, fine, I had to come up with something. 好吧 我不得不瞎掰一些
[18:28] – You were getting too close. – Close to what? -你们太接近了 -接近什么
[18:30] To the truth. The Indian kid was right. 接近真相 这印度小子是对的
[18:32] – He’s arabic. – Also Polish. -他是阿拉伯人 -还有波兰血统
[18:34] Whatever. I’m a fake psychiatrist, 随便啦 我是个假心理医生
[18:35] not a fake ethnologist. 又不是假的人类学家
[18:36] The point is your Dean was kidnapped by ben chang 重点是你们的院长被本·昌绑架了
[18:39] and replaced with a double. 用赝品代替了
[18:41] – I was hired to keep you off the scent. – Chang kidnapped the Dean? -我受雇让你们别碍事 -昌绑架了院长
[18:44] Even for him, that’s insane. 对他来说 这举动都太疯狂了
[18:45] Is it? Think about it. 是吗 好好想想
[18:54] Whoo! I said hot damn! 哇 爽得老子没法说
[18:58] Chang… 昌
[19:00] What are you doing? 你在做什么
[19:01] I’m predicting future crimes. 我在预言犯罪
[19:04] Now I’m sick. 我感冒了
[19:05] See, you said that would happen. 瞧 你说了会这样
[19:07] You are a pre-cog! 你就是先知
[19:19] Again. 再来
[19:25] You’re weak. 你太软弱了
[19:27] Uh, guys, 伙计们
[19:29] while we were remembering Chang is crazy, 咱们闪回昌的疯狂轶事时
[19:31] the fake doctor sneaked away. 假医生溜了
[19:32] – What? – Oh, crap! -什么 -妈的
[19:34] There goes our only chance of clearing our names. 这是唯一为我们正名的机会
[19:35] You guys, forget about us. 伙计们 别想我们自己了
[19:37] The Dean has been kidnapped. 院长被绑架了
[19:38] He’s out there somewhere, alone and cold 他现在正在某处 孤单寒冷
[19:41] and most likely trying to cobble together 最有可能在将就凑合做一件
[19:43] a sexy patty hearst costume. 性感的帕蒂·赫斯特的戏服
[19:45] Britta’s right. Wait, what? 布雷塔说的对 什么
[19:47] We need to rescue the Dean. 我们得拯救院长
[19:48] We need to get back to that school. 我们得回到学校
[19:50] And we definitely never need to do another paintball. 而且我们绝对不需要再来场彩弹大战
[19:51] – Yeah. – See, therapy does work. -是啊 -瞧 看心理医生还是管用的
[19:53] We’re cured. 我们都痊愈了
[19:59] Sounds like the study group has 看来学习小组有两下子嘛
[20:00] gotten wise to operation doppel-deaner. 准备铲除假院长了
[20:03] – It’s time for phase two. – What’s phase two? -是时候进入第二阶段了 -是什么
[20:06] Hey, I’m making up the same plan you are. come on. 我跟你们一样是胡诌计划好吗 醒目点
[20:08] Pitches, pitches, pitches. 快想 快想 快点想
[20:10] Ah, thank you, Megan. 多谢 梅根
[20:15] Troy and Abed in the morning 特洛伊和阿布蒂早间秀
[20:17] Nights. 晚间特别篇
[20:18] Welcome back, all you night owls. 欢迎回来 夜猫子们
[20:20] Troy, why don’t we open up the phone lines? 特洛伊 接进电话吧
[20:21] Talk to us, lonely hearts. 聊聊吧 寂寞的心
[20:23] We got Jeff W. Calling. 杰夫·翁某来电
[20:24] Hello? 喂
[20:25] Hey, Jeff, what’s your question? 你好啊 杰夫 有什么烦恼事
[20:27] – Who is this? – Great question. -你谁啊 -问得好
[20:29] – We’re us. – You guys, it’s 3:00 in the morning. -就是咱们 -伙计 现在是凌晨三点
[20:32] I’m trying to sleep. 我这儿睡觉呢
[20:33] I’m sorry to hear that, Jeff. 很遗憾听到这个 杰夫
[20:35] Why don’t you stay on the line and we’ll get your information. 你别挂电话 听咱们开导就好
[20:36] Yeah, we’ll get you the help you need. 我们会给你帮助的
[20:38] Our next caller’s Annie E. 下一位打进来的是安妮·埃某
[20:40] What’s on your mind tonight, Annie? 想说什么 安妮
[20:41] Hey, guys, long time, 伙计 听了很久
[20:43] first time, love the show. 第一次打来 爱你们的节目哦
[20:44] Aw, appreciate ya. How can we help? 太谢谢了 有什么要帮忙的
[20:46] You can shut up and go to sleep. 你们可以闭嘴 然后去睡觉
[20:52] Well, Jacks and Jills, that’s about all the time 帅哥美女们 节目差不多了
[20:54] – We have tonight. – Yeah, until next time, -就到这里 -下次节目前
[20:55] may your dreams be sweet 愿你们都是美梦
[20:57] and your nightmares be “Spooky monster” scary 而且恶梦只是怪兽
[20:59] and not “Grandma died” scary. 并非奶奶去世
[21:01] Troy and Abed in the morning 特洛伊和阿布蒂的早间秀
[21:03] Nights. 晚间特别篇
废柴联盟

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