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废柴联盟(Community)第3季第15集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 废柴联盟(Community)第3季第15集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:01] *Best friends, best friends* *好朋友铁来好基友真*
[00:02] *- Making a cake – Wait.* *-蛋糕烘焙全凭爱 -等下*
[00:04] *Best friends, best friends* *好朋友铁来好基友真*
[00:06] *- Making a cake – Pyoo!* *-蛋糕烘焙全凭爱 -屁油*
[00:08] I never thought I’d miss it. 我从未想过我居然对此无比怀念
[00:09] How come I’m not best friends with anyone in the group? 凭什么我在小组里就没有好朋友
[00:13] Don’t patronize me. 少屈尊可怜我
[00:15] *She’ll be coming around the mountain* *她将绕过这座山*
[00:17] *When she comes, whoo-whoo* *待到她来时 呜呜*
[00:19] Just letting the students know 过来通知一下同学们
[00:20] that if you’re on campus this weekend, 如果这周末需要逗留在校园内的话
[00:22] You’ll have to park on the street 你得将车停在大街上了
[00:24] because of the carnival. 因为要举办欢乐嘉年华
[00:25] On an unrelated note, I’m into trains now. 毫不相关地说一下 我已经提前入戏了
[00:28] A real carnival? 真正的嘉年华吗
[00:29] Is the company called Red Beard’s Amusements? 是不是叫红胡子娱乐公司
[00:32] Name rings a bell. 听起来挺耳熟
[00:33] But with me, that could mean anything. 不过鉴于本人情况 耳熟涵义颇深
[00:34] I wonder. 难说
[00:36] I have an ex-boyfriend that travels with a carnival. 我曾有位前男友 跟随嘉年华浪迹天涯
[00:42] I’m sorry, Britta. 不好意思 布雷塔
[00:43] Some things are funny because they make no sense. 有些事情因为无厘头所以很好笑
[00:45] And that is not one of them. 但这件事完全例外
[00:48] Well, it looks like my news has incited some doings. 貌似我带来的新闻激起了一点涟漪哟
[00:51] And if that’s not my job, what is? 如果这不是我的职责己任 还有啥是呢
[00:53] Choo choo! 轰 轰[模仿火车]
[00:55] Well, you’re also supposed to– 你的职责还有
[01:00] Administrate the school. 管理学校
[01:01] So, Britta, tell us about your carnival worker boyfriend. 布雷塔 谈谈在嘉年华工作的前男友呗
[01:04] Why, so you all can get a big laugh? 干吗 说出来好让你们开心一下吗
[01:05] – Yeah. – I’d love to have a laugh. -没错 -我很想开心一下
[01:07] The exact reason. 正解
[01:08] Fine. I’m not ashamed of my past. 好啊 我并不以我的过去为耻
[01:10] And if it entertains you guys, 如果能让大家开心一下
[01:11] that’s great because we’re friends. 也挺好的 毕竟大家朋友一场
[01:14] His name is Blade and– 他的名字叫做刀锋
[01:16] – What? – Oh, no, Britta! -什么 -不是吧 布雷塔
[01:18] She invoked friendship to undercut the laugh, 她祭出友谊的大旗企图消灭笑声
[01:21] and we’re still laughing. That’s how funny it is! 但是我们依然哄堂大笑 这才是好笑之处
[01:23] His name is Blade. Is that legal? 他叫刀锋 这名字合法吗
[01:25] Shouldn’t New Line Cinema be suing him? 新线影业是不是要起诉他
[01:26] He was called that before that stupid movie. 在那部破片之前他就叫这名了
[01:29] He was called that before the fantastic movie. 在那部神片之前他就叫那名了吗
[01:31] And it was a marvel comic in 1973. 原著出自《惊奇漫画》发表于1973年
[01:33] Well, nerd alert. 死宅出没
[01:34] Well, ex-boyfriend named Blade alert. 前男友叫刀锋的某人出没
[01:37] Her love life makes Pierce seem with it. 她的爱情故事让皮尔斯都和谐了
[01:40] Her pain unifies us. 她之痛 吾一统
[01:41] She has the King Arthur of bad taste in men. 她在男人方面的品位之差登峰造极
[01:44] I’m glad you guys are reacting this way. 我很欣慰大家能做出这种反应
[01:45] I need to be reminded that he is the worst on earth. 我必须坚定不移地认为他是全世界最烂男
[01:48] Because if he comes through town and calls me, 因为一旦他来到城中给我打个电话
[01:51] I will be there in five minutes. 不出五分钟我就得奔过去
[01:53] – I don’t understand. – uh, Andre much? -我不太明白 -安德烈那样的
[01:55] – Okay, I understand. – I don’t. -好吧 我懂了 -我没懂
[01:56] – You will. – What’s that mean? -以后会的 -什么意思
[01:57] – He’s hung. – Oh, God! -他身怀巨根 -上帝啊
[02:00] Pierce, you’re disgusting. 皮尔斯 你好淫荡
[02:01] Just like that I’m disgusting again. 就因为这一句我又被打回淫荡之流了
[02:03] I was one of the gang. It was in my hand. 曾几何时咱也是组织的人 妥妥的
[02:05] Sometimes, a woman meets a man 有时 女人会碰到一个无论如何
[02:07] that she just can’t shake from her system 都无法舍弃掉的男人
[02:09] no matter much she knows better. 不管她是怎样的心如明镜
[02:11] I lucked out with Andre, but God help me. 我曾和安德烈差点完蛋 还好上帝相助
[02:13] As you all know, there’s not a lot he couldn’t get away with. 大家也都知道 他着实百无禁忌
[02:15] So what, Britta? You’re in love with a guy 现在要闹哪样 布雷塔 你要跟一个
[02:18] who’s named after a kickboxing vampire movie? 以飚跆拳道的吸血鬼电影命名的男人谈恋爱
[02:20] A fantastic kickboxing vampire movie. 一部超神的飚跆拳道的吸血鬼电影
[02:22] No, I don’t believe in love because of this guy… 才不是呢 我才不会相信爱情什么的
[02:26] named after a kickboxing vampire movie. 因为此人名字来自飚跆拳道的吸血鬼电影
[02:28] Oh, Britta! 布雷塔 亲
[02:30] Oh, sweetie. 小可怜儿
[02:31] – You wanna watch Blade tonight? – Yes. -今晚要不要看《刀锋战士》 -好
[03:00] Ugh, I love that I have a locker now. 有储物柜的感觉太棒了
[03:03] All that wasted time going to my car 以前大好时光都荒废在钻进我的车里
[03:04] for mid-afternoon wardrobe adjustments. 为了整理午后的行头
[03:07] What do you think, hmm? Stick with what’s working? 你意下如何 觉得哪件比较有型
[03:09] You’re gonna change your shirt? 你这是要当场换衬衫吗
[03:10] Not if it’s working. 除非仍然有型
[03:12] – It’s not working. – Yeah. -没型了 -好咧
[03:14] You’re right. I knew it. 你说得对 我就知道
[03:17] I’ll have what she’s having. 人家也好想像她那样哦
[03:18] Hey, grow up, lady! 少天真了 姑娘
[03:20] – Annie! – his shirt wasn’t working! -安妮 -他的衬衫没型了
[03:21] I need your help. 我需要你的帮助
[03:22] It is Blade’s carnival that’s coming. 来的就是刀锋的嘉年华
[03:24] He’s working the BB gun duck-shooting gallery. 他就在气枪打鸭子的游乐区工作
[03:26] I guess he finally got the promotion. 我猜他终究是升了职
[03:28] And he will call me. 他会给我打电话
[03:29] And left unattended, 然后再无情地将我抛弃
[03:30] I will end up doing him like a crossword, 独留我如填字谜一样百般纠结
[03:33] and I will regret it. 然后我会终日悔恨不已
[03:34] So I need you to take my phone, 所以我需要你拿着我的手机
[03:36] and don’t give it back until Monday! 周一之前都不要还给我
[03:37] Of course. Okay. 没问题 好的
[03:38] – For real? – Pipe it! -玩真的吗 -闭嘴
[03:39] And I need to stay with you this weekend. 而且这周末我需要跟你待在一起
[03:42] Not just stay with you, I need to be on lockdown. 不仅仅是待在一起 我需要被关禁闭
[03:44] You were a pillhead, so think of Blade as adderall. 若我是嗑药迷 刀锋便是那小药丸
[03:47] And handcuff me to the radiator 请将我拷在暖气片上
[03:49] like a mother-flipping carny-banging werewolf. 就像是无比讨厌的嘉年华狼人
[03:51] I got this. I got this. 我懂了 我懂了
[03:53] Our apartment has central heating, 我家公寓是中央供暖
[03:54] but I get the idea– stay strong. 不过精神我已经领会了 坚定不移
[03:56] Man, I wonder how many women I’ve affected this way. 我在想会有多少姑娘被我祸害成这付惨样
[04:04] All aboard the Human Being Railway! 上车咯 人类号列车
[04:07] Next stop, spo– 下一站 体育
[04:09] I’ll get to the point. 我开门见山
[04:10] I’d like your student Troy Barnes 我想让你的学生特洛伊·巴恩斯
[04:12] enrolled in the Air Conditioning Repair Program immediately. 立即到空调维修学院报道
[04:14] Oh, a wonderful opportunity for a young man of… 对于城市竞争中的年轻人来说是多么难得的
[04:18] urban race. 机会
[04:19] Yet try as I might, I’m unable to make him see it that way. 尽管我百般尝试 还是无法让他那样想
[04:22] I need you to change his mind. 我需要你去改变他的想法
[04:25] But if he’s not interested, what can I do? 但他要是没兴趣 我也无可奈何哟
[04:27] Dean, have we forgotten that your school 院长 难道你忘记你的学校
[04:30] is under the AC repair school’s thumb? 是捏在空调维修学院手心里的吗
[04:33] Uh, we have not. 没有
[04:34] Then mine is not to tell you how to do what I want done. 那么我们不是过来告诉你我想做什么
[04:37] Mine is to want 我们是想做什么
[04:39] and to say my want. 就过来跟你说
[04:42] Yours is to know and to do. 而你们听到后就要领命去做
[04:44] I know exactly what to do. 我很清楚要怎么做
[04:49] Natalie, could you get me a, um, book on how to do things? 娜塔莉 帮我拿本 行动指南书
[04:53] You know what, just make me a scotch and soda. 算了 帮我拿杯加苏打的威士忌
[04:55] – Make it yourself! – I don’t know how. -想喝自己去搞 -人家不知道怎么搞
[04:59] I love Blade’s special Blade weapons. 我特喜欢刀锋战士的特殊刀锋武器
[05:00] Yeah, see that sword? It has two blades. 对 看到那把剑了吗 是双面刀锋的
[05:02] One blade is silver, 一面刀锋是银质的
[05:03] The other blade is infused with garlic. 另一面浸了蒜汁
[05:05] – I should check my messages. – No. -我得看看我的短信 -不许
[05:07] Guys, could we maybe watch a different movie 伙计们 我们要么换部电影看
[05:09] or just stop saying that word six times per minute? 要么就不要一分钟念叨六次那个词好吗
[05:11] – What word? – Blade. -哪个词 -刀锋
[05:12] Oh, because of Britta’s ex-boyfriend. 哦 因为布雷塔的前男友
[05:14] Can you check my messages for me 你能帮我看看我的短信吗
[05:15] and tell me if he called? 跟我说一下他有没有打电话过来
[05:16] I don’t think that’s a good idea. 我觉得这样不太好吧
[05:17] What if my mother died? 要是我妈死了呢
[05:18] You guys are really talking over blade. 你们才是真正的三句话不离刀锋
[05:21] – Not cool! – Annie, subdue your guest. -好霸道 -安妮 管好你的客人
[05:23] Annie, think for one second. 安妮 你想一下
[05:25] You have my phone, and you’re not even checking it. 你拿着我的手机 但是你根本没去查看
[05:27] What if my mother is dying? 要是我妈危在旦夕怎么办
[05:29] This is junkie talk. 这是典型的瘾君子说辞
[05:30] You just wanna know where your phone’s hidden. 你只是想知道自己的手机被藏在哪里
[05:31] I just wanna know if my mother is dying. 我只是想知道我妈有没有死
[05:33] It’s a simple yes or no. I’ll cover my eyes. 不过是与否而已 我会捂上眼睛
[05:35] You go check my phone and say, 你去看一下我的手机 然后说一句
[05:37] “No, your mother isn’t dying” Or “Yes, your mother is dying,” “没 你妈没死”或”对 你妈要死了”
[05:40] And then we go back to watching the film. 然后我们就继续看电影
[05:56] Give it to me! 把它给我
[05:57] That’s right, Britta. It’s a banana. 没错 布雷塔 这是香蕉
[05:59] Why is there a banana in your DVD cabinet? 你DVD柜子里放香蕉干吗
[06:02] Read the banana, Britta. 读一下香蕉上的字 布雷塔
[06:04] “You are a lying junkie.” “你就是满嘴谎言的瘾君子”
[06:06] I’m sure those words hurt. 我知道这话很伤人
[06:08] But you wouldn’t be reading them if they weren’t true. 但如果不是真的 你就不会读到它们
[06:11] I am so weak. 我好逊哦
[06:14] But we are not defined by our limitations. 但是限制不是最终的决定因素
[06:17] We are defined by our potentials. 潜力才是真正的衡量标尺
[06:20] I have the potential to watch Blade. 我有潜力继续观看《刀锋战士》
[06:21] You two are bad friends! Bad. 你俩真的是坏朋友 很坏
[06:24] That’s unfair. What about you guys? 好不公平 那你们俩呢
[06:26] Okay, you don’t like our movie, we can’t say the word “Blade,” 你不喜欢看电影 我们又不能说”刀锋”
[06:29] There’s phones in the refrigerator. 冰箱里还有一部手机
[06:30] Oops. 嘴滑
[06:32] Troy, Abed! 特洛伊 阿布蒂
[06:33] Let me see if he called! 让我看下有没有他的电话
[06:34] I have a right to know! You’re monsters! 我有权利知道 你们这些怪兽
[06:36] You’re hitlers! You’re racist pedophiles! 你们是希特勒 你们是种族主义恋童癖
[06:39] You’re the opposites of batman! 你们是蝙蝠侠的敌人
[06:41] You don’t know what that means. 你根本不晓得自己说的什么意思
[06:42] Gonna rip out your throats and eat your– 扯出你的喉咙 咬掉你的
[06:44] Still think the lock was overkill? 还觉得锁是没有必要的吗
[06:46] No. 不了
[06:48] There’s phones in the refrigerator. 冰箱里还有一部手机
[06:50] It’s you. 你个呆子
[06:57] Boys’ night! 纯男之夜
[06:59] I need help reacting to something. 我需要帮助 完全不知作何反应
[07:06] Remember it’s just a quick peek at Blade. 记住只是来看一眼刀锋
[07:08] You tell anyone we did this, 要是你将此事告诉别人
[07:10] I will stop letting you do things with me 我就不让你继续对我做那事
[07:11] I’m afraid to tell anyone about. 恐怕我还要广为告之
[07:13] Hey, I get it. 好啦 知道啦
[07:14] You wanna take a look at Britta’s ex-boyfriend. 你想看一眼布雷塔的前男友
[07:15] If you did it by yourself, you’d be weird. 如果你自己来 就太变态了
[07:19] You’re the only one that really understands me. 你是唯一真正懂我的人
[07:20] Oh, funky. 不错哦
[07:23] What, are you guys on a date? 怎么 你俩在约会吗
[07:24] Pretty awkward. Look what Pierce won me. 好尴尬哟 看皮尔斯帮我赢的哟
[07:27] What is this? 搞什么玩意儿
[07:27] I decided to go outside the group for a best friend. 我决定走出小组去找好朋友
[07:30] And you couldn’t do better than Chang? 除了昌你就找不到更好的了吗
[07:31] You take that back! 收回你说的话
[07:32] He could do plenty better than me. 他当然可以找到很多比我更好的
[07:34] I was the first to say yes. 我是第一个答应他的
[07:36] Well, have fun forcing life. 生活所逼 要幸福哟
[07:37] We will. 我们会的
[07:40] What do you wanna do next? 接下来你想做什么
[07:41] – Cotton candy? – Russian roulette? -棉花糖 -俄罗斯轮盘赌
[07:42] – What did you say? – Cotton candy sounds great. -你说什么 -棉花糖超棒的
[07:47] Oh, thank you. 谢谢
[07:53] That’s it? Huh. 那个就是吗
[07:55] Hmm. He’s not as good-looking as you. 他可没你俊俏
[07:57] – I wasn’t fishing for that. – No, no, no. -我可不是为了这个来的 -不不不
[07:59] I offered it freely. Come on, I wanna go on a ride. 我自愿夸你一下 走 我想去玩一把
[08:01] This is a window for me. 这里就像为我开启了一扇窗
[08:02] I spent my carnival years pregnant. 多年来的嘉年华我都是怀孕妇女
[08:03] Shirley, I’m not jealous. 雪瑞 我不是在嫉妒
[08:05] I just wanted to see what the deal was. 我只想知道他们是怎么勾搭到一起的
[08:06] Obviously the deal is he’s a dirtball, 很显然他们勾搭是因为他是个邋遢鬼
[08:08] Britta hates herself, voila. 布雷塔自我厌恶 对眼啦
[08:11] What do you wanna do? 你想怎么做
[08:12] I’d like to go on a ride. 我想去玩一下
[08:13] Let’s go shoot some ducks. 咱们去打鸭子玩吧
[08:15] Jeffrey! 杰夫瑞
[08:17] Eight of clubs. I win. 梅花八 我赢了
[08:18] Nice! 好耶
[08:21] – How are you feeling? – Good. -你感觉如何 -挺好
[08:24] Great, actually. Thank you, Annie. 实际上 好极了 谢谢你 安妮
[08:26] I could’ve never done this without you. 没了你我绝不可能做到
[08:27] I’m glad to be able to help you. 很高兴能帮到你
[08:29] I want you to know– 我想让你知道
[08:30] And I’ve never said these words– 我之前从未讲过这些话
[08:31] but I’ve always felt them. 可是我心里一直是这么觉得的
[08:32] You’re a sister to me. 你是我的好姐妹
[08:36] Britta! 布雷塔
[08:41] Hey, little sis, 那个 小妹
[08:42] Do you think you could trust me to have my phone back now? 你觉得现在你能相信我 将手机还我吗
[08:44] I’ve got my email on there, 那里面有我的电子邮件
[08:45] my calendar, homework assignments. 日历 家庭作业
[08:48] I’m kinda screwed without it. 没了它我真是有点抓瞎
[08:50] You’re not just manipulating me, right? 你不是在糊弄我 对吧
[08:52] Oh, because of– Oh, jeez. 因为 哦天哪
[08:54] Yeah, whatever. That’s over, Annie. 好吧 随便啦 早完事了 安妮
[08:57] Seriously. 真的
[08:58] Okay, I have it right here. 好 我正拿着呢
[09:01] It’s a gateway to further trust. 这可是更进一步信任的大门哦
[09:02] Perfect. Thank you. 很好 谢谢
[09:03] Love the gateway. Honoring the gateway. 大门很有爱 大门威武
[09:09] I have to call my doctor for some results. 我得给我的医生打个电话问一些检测结果
[09:11] Don’t worry, I’m fine. It’s just a little personal. 别担心 我没事 不过这有点小隐私
[09:13] You need privacy, sure thing. I’ll check on you later. 你需要隐私 当然 我待会再来看你
[09:16] Bye. Thank you, sweetie. 再见 谢谢你 小甜甜
[09:23] Boy, this guy doesn’t give vampires 哎哟 这个人对吸血鬼还真是
[09:25] a square inch of leeway. 半点余地都不留呢
[09:26] He’s harsh. 他很严酷的
[09:30] What’s wrong, Annie? 怎么了 安妮
[09:32] You came out of the bedroom smiling, 从卧室出来时 你笑靥如花
[09:33] and then your smile faded as you leaned against the door. 可一背倚到门上 你就笑容尽失
[09:35] I gave Britta her phone. 我把布雷塔的手机给她了
[09:37] You did? Why? 你给了 为什么
[09:38] She needs to feel trust to recover, or she’ll relapse. 她需要感到信任才能康复 不然会复发的
[09:41] She’s gonna relapse because you gave her her phone. 她复发是因为你将手机还给了她
[09:43] No, I secretly switched Blade’s number in her phone 错 我悄悄地将她手机里刀锋的号码
[09:46] to my number. 换成了我的
[09:46] So if she tries to get in touch with him, 所以如果她试图联系刀锋
[09:48] – it’ll come to me. – That’s diabolical. -就会发到我这里来 -真是腹黑
[09:49] Yeah, you’re just like Blade, man. 对哦 你真是很像刀锋战士呢
[09:51] Straight up. 实打实的
[09:52] I just hope she can find the strength to– 我只是希望她可以找到力量
[09:57] She’s probably just telling him 她大概只是想跟他说
[09:58] She’s…dying to feel the warmth of his– 她迫切地想感受他那啥的温暖
[10:00] Are you kidding me? 搞什么飞机
[10:03] She said we were sisters. 她说我们是姐妹
[10:05] I am so sad right now. 现在我真的好伤心
[10:08] And she is so codependent! 她真是够黏人的
[10:11] And such a bad speller. 错别字大王
[10:18] Nice shootin’. Tough luck. 枪法不错 运气欠佳
[10:20] Thanks. I’ll go another round. 多谢 我再来一轮
[10:23] There’s room in our bed for three bears, right, honey? 咱床上还能放三只熊呢 是吧宝贝
[10:25] And then some, sugar. 不止呢 甜心
[10:27] You’re very nice… 你真是个好人
[10:28] For a man named– what’d you say it was? Blade? 作为名为 你刚说叫什么名 刀锋吗
[10:31] Yup. 没错
[10:32] But that’s a carnival name though, right? 不过这是嘉年华绰号吧
[10:34] A nom de corn dog? 玉米肠的代称啥的
[10:36] Why would I have a carnival name? 为什么我要起嘉年华绰号呢
[10:37] Your parents named you Blade? 你爸妈给你起名叫”刀锋”吗
[10:39] Apparently. 当然了
[10:40] Well, you seem okay with it. 你看起来倒是挺淡定的
[10:43] Not much to do about it. 对此我也无能为力吧
[10:45] You could change it. 你可以去改名啊
[10:46] To what? Templeton Ferrari III? 改成什么名 坦普顿·法拉利三世
[10:49] Won’t change how mustard tastes. 改了名芥末还是那个味
[10:51] I’ll be right back. 我待会过来
[10:53] Won’t change how mustard tastes. 改了名芥末还是那个味
[10:56] I get it. I see the appeal. 我懂了 我看到他的吸引力了
[10:58] He’s relaxed, he’s cool. 他很闲适 很酷
[11:00] N-not as cool as you. 当然没你酷
[11:03] Mr. Blade. I want three more rounds. 刀锋先生 我想再来三轮
[11:06] Jeffrey! 杰夫瑞
[11:07] Not gonna change the way mustard tastes. 你这样也改不了芥末的味道
[11:08] Oh, and you’re so cool, Shirley. 你可真酷哦 雪瑞
[11:10] Sometimes I am. 有时我挺酷
[11:14] How many times are they gonna do that? 他们要搞多少遍啊
[11:16] Aw, this is it, isn’t it? 就是这样 对不对
[11:17] We’re becoming best friends. 我们成为了死党
[11:18] I think so. I think so. 我也觉得是 我同意
[11:22] *Would you let me be your best friend* *可以让我做你最好的朋友吗*
[11:27] *I would call you every day* *我会每天都给你打电话*
[11:32] Oh, my god! One after the other! 上帝啊 一个接一个
[11:35] “I’m texting to tell you I’m not texting you any more. 我发短信是告诉你我不会再发短信给你了
[11:38] “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. 对不起 刚才不是有意那样说的
[11:40] “Are you mad at me now? 你现在生我气了吗
[11:42] Fine. I guess you don’t wanna know our two-year-old.” 好 我想你不想知道咱俩两岁娃的事了
[11:45] Can we please just put it 能不能把手机
[11:46] under a stack of mattresses or something? 塞到床垫底下或是别的地方
[11:47] I don’t know. When is she gonna take a hint? 我不知道 她什么时候能有所觉悟呢
[11:48] Britta’s attracted to unavailable men. 布雷塔迷上了一个不合适的男人
[11:51] – Dean, why are you here? – Ouch. -院长 你怎么在这里 -伤心
[11:54] Fine. Let’s make him available. 好啊 那就让这个男人发挥作用吧
[11:57] – What are you doing? – Ending this. -你要干吗 -一了百了
[11:58] – “LEAVE ME ALONE.” – NO! -少来烦我 -不要
[12:02] That’s so much worse. 那样情况会更糟
[12:05] See? She stopped. 看 她消停了
[12:12] She’s calling him? 她打过来了
[12:13] SHE WAS BORN IN THE ’80s. 她是八零后
[12:14] She still uses her phone as a phone. 她仍然将手机当手机使
[12:16] – Uh-oh. – That’s fine, it’s fine. -不妙 -没事没事
[12:18] – We just won’t answer it. – Won’t it go to your voicemail? -不接就是了 -会进你语音信箱的哟
[12:23] Hello? Blade? 喂 刀锋
[12:33] There you go. 就这样吧
[12:34] I don’t know! 我也很凌乱
[12:35] Change your settings so it doesn’t go to voicemail. 改变设置 禁止进语音信箱
[12:38] Too late. 太迟了
[12:40] You guys act like a carnival. Be a carnival. 你们营造出嘉年华的气氛 演起来
[12:43] Now! 赶紧
[12:45] – Step right up! – Ding, ding, ding! -来呀来呀 -叮叮叮
[12:46] Get your popcorn here. 这是你的爆米花
[12:47] – Hello? – Busy, babe. -喂 -忙着呢 宝贝
[12:50] Blade, just wait. Wait, Bla– 刀锋 等一下 等等 刀
[12:54] I told you not to call me at work! 跟你说了工作时别打我电话
[12:58] “I’m sorry, I forgot. 对不起 我忘了
[12:59] Don’t be mad at me.” 拜托别生气
[13:01] She’s whipped by an imaginary douche. 她被一个虚构的蠢蛋虐上瘾了
[13:04] Hey, don’t knock it till you try it. 喂 没用之前先别乱批判嘛
[13:06] I got my fake bachelor’s degree, 我拿到了假造的学士学位
[13:08] And then I cheated on the LSAT. 然后在LSAT考试中作弊
[13:10] You’re probably wondering, 你也许正嘀咕
[13:11] how do you cheat on the LSAT? 你是怎么在LSAT中作弊的
[13:13] How? 怎么作弊的
[13:13] A magician never reveals his secrets, my friend. 魔术师从来不显示他的秘密 我的朋友
[13:20] – Yeah! In your face! – Good job. -耶 打你个满脸桃花开 -不错
[13:23] Uh, give me the big one! Yeah, that’s the one. 给我那个大的 对 就是那个
[13:27] Yeah. 耶
[13:28] Not too shabby, huh? 不会太寒酸了吧
[13:29] Yeah, you really did it, baby. 你真的做到了 宝贝
[13:31] So you dropped out of high school 这么说你从高中辍学
[13:33] and joined the carnival. 然后进入嘉年华
[13:34] And 15 years later, here you are. 15年后 你变成这副模样
[13:36] – Jeffrey! – Guess that’s about it. -杰夫瑞 -差不多吧
[13:38] So what’s the record? 那么纪录是多少
[13:39] What’s the best anyone’s ever done in this booth? 这个摊位的最高纪录是多少
[13:41] – I guess eight ducks. – All right, one more round. -我想是八只鸭子吧 -好 再来一轮
[13:44] One more round. 再来一轮
[13:45] – Jeff? – honey? -杰夫 -亲爱的
[13:47] Will you excuse us just for a moment, please? 抱歉我俩先失陪一下下
[13:48] Certainly. 没事
[13:49] Can you get over here? 你能过来一下吗
[13:54] – What is your end game here? – I don’t know. -你什么时候能玩够 -我不晓得
[13:56] – I wanna know. – Wanna know what? -我就想知道 -想知道啥
[13:58] I wanna know what drove Britta crazy about him. 我想知道布雷塔到底迷他哪里
[14:00] Are you jealous? Are you in love with Britta? 你在吃醋吗 你爱上布雷塔了
[14:02] No, I am not in love with Britta. 没有 我没爱上布雷塔
[14:04] And yes, I’m insanely jealous of him. 还有对 我发了疯地嫉妒他
[14:06] What’s his secret? 他的秘诀是什么
[14:07] Why do you wanna know the secret to making a woman psycho? 为什么你想知道让女人神魂颠倒的秘诀
[14:09] Why do we wanna know how to blow up the earth 为什么我们想知道炸毁地球的方法呢
[14:10] or grow a human ear on a mouse? 或是在老鼠身上培育人类耳朵的方法
[14:13] In case we have to, Shirley. 以防万一用得上啊 雪瑞
[14:14] In case we have to. 以防万一
[14:16] – I’m going to find Pierce. – Good! -我去找皮尔斯 -很好
[14:19] One of those bears is mine! 有一只小熊是我的
[14:21] So this is best friendship. 这就是好朋友的感觉
[14:23] Something else, isn’t it? 别有一番风味 是吧
[14:25] How do we keep it going? 我们如何保持这份情呢
[14:26] How do we know we won’t get into a fight? 我们怎么能知道我们以后不会打架呢
[14:28] I say we just let it happen. 我想我们顺其自然就好
[14:29] Don’t tell me what to do! 不要跟我说该做什么
[14:32] – What’s your problem? – What’s yours? -你什么毛病啊 -你什么毛病
[14:33] I’m outta here! 我走了
[14:37] *This is the last time* *这是最后一次*
[14:41] *This is the last time I’ll see you smile* *这是我最后一次看到你的笑脸*
[14:46] *Good-bye* *再见吧*
[14:48] *My friend* *我的朋友*
[14:50] *I’ll miss you every night* *以后的每一夜我都会思念你*
[14:58] *Good-bye* *再见吧*
[15:06] Blade, ‘sup? Message. 我是刀锋 啥事 留言
[15:09] Okay. We can stop worrying about voicemail now. 好了 现在不用担心语音信箱了
[15:12] Back to the matter at hand. 开始处理手头的正事
[15:14] Now what are you doing? 现在你在做什么
[15:16] – Dean, why are you here? – Yikes. -院长 你怎么在这里 -好受伤
[15:18] I figured it out. I know exactly what to do. 我想出办法了 我很明白该怎么做
[15:20] I’m just gonna be really, really, really mean to her. 我要对她特别 特别 特别绝情
[15:24] What don’t you get about the concept? 你怎么还没搞清方向啊
[15:26] Britta likes guys who are mean to her. 布雷塔就喜欢对她绝情的男人
[15:29] She doesn’t like herself. 她自我厌恶
[15:31] Give me the phone. 手机给我
[15:40] What did you say? 你发的什么
[15:40] Something nice. 温情美好的话
[15:42] Don’t worry about it. 别担心
[15:44] I’m deleting it from your phone. 我从你手机上删除了
[15:49] – Hi. – What’s up? -嗨 -怎么啦
[15:51] You guys still watching movies? 你们还在看电影吗
[15:56] Hi, dean. Why are you here? 嗨 院长 你怎么在这里
[15:57] Hi, Britta. And ouch. 嗨 布雷塔 伤死我了
[15:59] And you don’t know anything about carpentry. 你对木工一窍不通
[16:01] – Nope. – Or aquariums– -不懂 -或是水族箱
[16:02] Freshwater or saltwater. 淡水还是海水
[16:04] – Do you have a big weiner? – Nope. -难不成你有巨根 -没有
[16:06] I don’t get it, Blade! 我真心不懂了 刀锋
[16:07] What’s your secret? Why do I wanna impress you? 你的秘诀是啥啊 为什么我想让你动容
[16:11] Are you dumb or smart? Are you a loser or winner? 你是愚蠢还是聪明 你是废柴还是天才
[16:15] Or are you just a human mirror? 还是说你其实是一面镜子
[16:16] Do we all see what we wanna see in you? 所有人看到的你都是自己想看到的那个人
[16:19] A magician never reveals, right? 魔术师从不泄密 对不
[16:23] Right. 对
[16:25] Later. 回见
[16:28] Okay. 好吧
[16:31] You dropped over 300 bucks on my booth, so I’ll tell ya. 你在我摊位上花了三百多 我告诉你吧
[16:35] You wanna know my secret? 你不是想知道我的秘诀吗
[16:37] Yes. 是的
[16:40] Yes, I do. 我想知道
[16:47] WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 你干嘛啊
[16:48] I wanna know. 我就想知道
[16:50] Okay, I’m sorry. 好吧 对不起
[16:52] I was texting with Blade, but it’s over now. 我跟刀锋发短信了 但现在已经结束了
[16:55] He’s…a loser. 他就是一 废柴
[17:00] Good night. 晚安
[17:03] Troy! You should really join 特洛伊 你真的应该加入
[17:06] the Air Conditioning Repair Program. 空调维修学院的
[17:07] – No. – Well, that didn’t work. -不要 -好吧 劝解无效
[17:09] That’s what I get for improvising. 我的即兴演出也就这么点儿了
[17:11] Good night. 晚安
[17:14] So I don’t get it. 我不明白
[17:15] He’s a vampire, but he can walk around during the day? 他是吸血鬼 但是他可以在白天出没吗
[17:18] – What…is wrong with you? – Huh? -你什么毛病啊 -啥
[17:22] You weren’t texting Blade, you were texting us. 跟你发短信的不是刀锋 是我们
[17:24] I switched Blade’s number in your phone to mine. 我把你手机里刀锋的号码换成了我的
[17:26] – You tricked me? – You tricked me! -你耍我 -你耍我好吧
[17:29] You ask for my help, you tell me I’m your sister, 你求我帮忙 你跟我说我是你姐妹
[17:32] I do everything I can to make you hate this turd, 我竭尽所能让你痛恨这个烂人
[17:35] and the first nice thing he says, and you’re over him? 而他一说温情美好的话 你就跟人掰了
[17:38] Who are you? 你什么人啊你
[17:41] And why didn’t it stick? 为什么没有坚持下去
[17:42] I was texting with you guys this whole time? 我一直在跟你们互发短信
[17:46] So Blade…isn’t a loser! 这么说刀锋 不是废柴
[17:50] Uh-oh. 不妙
[17:51] No, let her go. Lost cause, man. 不用 随她去吧 白费力气而已
[17:56] Jeff! What are you doing here? 杰夫 你来这里干吗
[17:57] I just got back from the carnival… 我刚从嘉年华回来
[17:59] Where I met Blade. 我在那见到了刀锋
[18:00] Is he okay? How is he? 他还好吗 他怎么样
[18:01] He’s brain damaged. 他脑残了
[18:02] – Well, let’s not be petty. – No, I’m serious. -别这么小气好吧 -我是认真的
[18:04] He showed me the scar. 他给我看了伤疤
[18:06] Ten years ago, before he even met you, 十年前 在他碰到你之前
[18:08] A loose bolt flew off a ferris wheel 一根螺丝从摩天轮上飞出
[18:10] and imbedded in his skull, 嵌入他的头颅
[18:12] Destroying the part of his brain that feels shame. 破坏了他大脑中控制羞耻心的那一部分
[18:17] He’s basically irresistible to people for the same reason 人们基本上完全无法拒绝他 也正因如此
[18:20] He can pretty much only work at a carnival. 他几乎只能在嘉年华工作
[18:24] He has nothing to prove or disprove 他什么也不能证明或推翻
[18:26] about himself or to himself. 不论是关于他自己或是对他自己
[18:29] He has no shame. 他全无羞耻心
[18:30] Why wouldn’t he have told me that? 他为什么没告诉过我
[18:32] Because he didn’t care if you knew. 因为他根本不在乎你知道与否
[18:33] That is so like him. 这太像他的风格
[18:36] – I have to go to him. – No, woman. -我必须得去找他 -不可以 女人
[18:39] None of us have to “Go to” anyone. 没有人必须得”去找”谁
[18:42] And the idea we do is a mental illness 这个念头就是一种心理疾病
[18:43] we contracted from breath mint commercials 感染我们得病的源头就是薄荷糖广告
[18:45] and Sandra Bullock. 和桑德拉·布洛克
[18:46] We can’t keep going to each other 我们不能一直不停地找来找去
[18:49] until we learn to go to ourselves. 直到学会寻找自己
[18:53] Stop making our hatred of ourselves, someone else’s job 别再对自我产生厌恶 自有别人来恨你
[18:56] and just stop hating ourselves. 停止自我厌恶
[19:08] Annie, I want you to take my phone. 安妮 我想请你拿着我的手机
[19:10] Do not let me call Chang. 不要让我给昌打电话
[19:12] I’m locking myself in your room. 我在你房间自我关禁闭
[19:17] What are you guys doing out here? 你们在外面干吗呢
[19:18] Self-actualizing. 自我实现
[19:20] Well, it’s loud. 有点吵
[19:21] Come watch Blade. 过来看《刀锋战士》
[19:24] Okay. 好
[19:59] This movie is fantastic. 这部电影太神了
[20:07] Y’all ever notice that cold spot in the hallway? 大家有没有注意到走廊上的低温温度计
[20:09] Oh, yeah! 没错
[20:09] That thing is freezing! 那玩意儿冻上了
[20:12] You know what could learn a lesson from that cold spot? 你知道从那里可以学到什么吗
[20:14] The air conditioning unit in my living room. 那就是在我起居室里安了一组空调
[20:18] Ladies and gentlemen, 女士们 先生们
[20:19] So yesterday, typical Sunday. 话说昨天 一个普通的周日
[20:20] I was hanging out in my Dreamatorium. 我在我家幻梦空间里玩
[20:23] This ever happen to you guys? 大家有没有碰到这种情况
[20:24] I couldn’t remember where I imagined the door. 我记不起想象中门的位置了
[20:27] Then I realized I was in an actual bathroom. 然后我意识到我在真正的浴室里
[20:33] Uh, no offense, but this material 别见怪 但是这些段子
[20:35] seems pretty specific to your apartment. 似乎太过具体取材于你们公寓了
[20:37] I don’t think it’ll work at an open mic. 我想在现场表演时恐怕没啥效果
[20:45] Y’all ever notice the difference 大家有没有注意到我和特洛伊
[20:46] between me and Troy brushing our teeth? 刷牙姿势之间的不同之处呢
[20:49] I brush my teeth like this. 我是这样刷牙的
[20:52] Troy brushes his teeth like this. 特洛伊是这样刷牙的
[20:56] I do! 我是
[20:56] I do! I brush my teeth just like that. 真的 我就是这样刷牙的
[20:59] Now you know what I’m gonna talk about next. 现在你知道我接下来该说什么了
[21:01] TOASTER OVEN! 烤箱
[21:02] It’s from his album. 这是他专辑里的
废柴联盟

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