| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Remember, you guys can have dip too, | 别忘了 假血颜料任意取用 |
| [00:05] | and don’t be afraid to play with the… | 不要大意 和橡胶蜘蛛 |
| [00:07] | ruuubber spiiider! | 玩个尽兴吧 |
| [00:10] | I’ll ask again… | 我想再问一遍 |
| [00:12] | Are you sure I can’t bring anything? | 真的不能带自制点心过来吗 |
| [00:14] | I don’t understand. | 我搞不懂 |
| [00:15] | We’re having a party, | 正式派对之前 |
| [00:16] | before we’re going to the real party? | 我们为什么要另开派对 |
| [00:18] | Sometimes, I think you young people | 有时候 你们年轻人 |
| [00:19] | are just making this crap up. | 就喜欢编些乱七八糟的 |
| [00:20] | It’s a pre-party! | 这叫做”派前派对” |
| [00:22] | It’s informal, intimate, | 随和温馨 |
| [00:23] | and just for us. | 只为我们 |
| [00:24] | And I told you guys you didn’t have to dress up. | 我跟你们说过不用化装的 |
| [00:27] | Oh, we were wearing this when you called. | 你打来电话时 我们正好穿着化装服 |
| [00:28] | Yeah, when we dress up, you’ll know it. | 等我们真化装起来 绝不会这么正常 |
| [00:31] | There’s nothing in your playlist but spooky party, | 你的播放列表里只有幽灵乐队 |
| [00:33] | the beetlejuice soundtrack, and NPR podcasts. | 甲壳虫汁 还有电台之声 |
| [00:36] | Ooh! We could listen to one of those! | 好呀 就听这些吧 |
| [00:37] | I have Michele Norris | 这里有米歇尔·诺里斯 |
| [00:39] | interviewing Errol Morris. | 采访埃罗尔·莫里斯的音频 |
| [00:42] | Don’t worry, they address it. | 不担心 没有互采 |
| [00:43] | Okay, let’s make this quick. | 我们快点结束吧 |
| [00:45] | I got three more polite appearances to make tonight. | 今晚还有三个造型要试呢 |
| [00:49] | What? I’m one of the three Fast and Furious guys. | 怎么 我扮的是《速度与激情》帅男 |
| [00:51] | Which one? | 帅男很多 你扮哪一个 |
| [00:51] | Oh, I don’t know. I don’t watch that shallow crap. | 没注意 这种脑残片我从来不看 |
| [00:53] | I just pick a costume girls will like. | 只是借用扮相把个妹 |
| [00:56] | Jeff, can I have a quick conversation with you? | 杰夫 能和你简单说两句吗 |
| [00:59] | Doubtful, but I support the dream. | 肯定不止一两句 但我不坚守希望 |
| [01:03] | Remember last week, when I made you guys fill out | 还记得吗 上周我拿了心理学课的问卷 |
| [01:05] | those anonymous personality tests for my psych class? | 发给你们做匿名人格测验 |
| [01:08] | Listen, if you dropped them in another puddle– | 千万别告诉我 你又把问卷掉在雨坑里了 |
| [01:09] | No, I processed the results, as per my assignment. | 不 我依照作业要求统计出了结果 |
| [01:12] | And, Jeff, one of our friends is… | 结果发现 杰夫 我们中存在一位 |
| [01:16] | deeply disturbed. | 重度心理病患 |
| [01:18] | Trick or Dean! | 不给糖就放院长 |
| [01:20] | Don’t forget to come by our Halloween scare-tacular dance, | 请记得光临校餐厅 参与万圣节舞会 |
| [01:23] | starting in the cafeteria at 9:30. | 今晚9点半 “剩蛋”揭幕 |
| [01:25] | Also, I had the lights rigged to flicker | 是我特意把灯光调成闪动 |
| [01:27] | because it’s Halloween! | 烘托万圣灵异气氛 |
| [01:29] | It’s been happening for a week. | 灯都闪了一周了 |
| [01:31] | Halloween week! | 万圣周嘛 |
| [01:32] | So the lights will work on November 1st? | 这么说灯要到11月1号才能恢复 |
| [01:34] | All saint’s day… | 万圣… |
| [01:36] | Month! | 月 |
| [01:38] | I’m sorry, you were about to get ridiculous? | 你是开玩笑吧 |
| [01:40] | Look! | 不信你看 |
| [01:41] | One of the tests came back | 有一份问卷反馈结果 |
| [01:42] | with 70 out of 75 red flags | 75题中有70道亮红灯 |
| [01:44] | for an extreme personality disorder. | 表明有极端人格障碍 |
| [01:47] | Extreme, Jeff! | 极端啊 杰夫 |
| [01:49] | Like a dorito? | 比极品多力多滋还极端 |
| [01:50] | A sociopathic dorito. | 就是一包反社会多力多滋 |
| [01:51] | A cool ranch lunatic. | 蒙牛牧场杀人狂 好酷 |
| [01:53] | Only instead of zest, Jeff, | 丧心病狂 可不是好事 |
| [01:56] | One member of our study group has… | 学习小组中有位成员 |
| [01:59] | homicidal tendencies. | 有杀人倾向 |
| [02:06] | I think one member of our study group | 我倒觉得 学习小组中有位成员 |
| [02:07] | is an overzealous psych major. | 心理学学疯了 |
| [02:09] | You probably just Britta’d the test results somehow. | 说不定你把结果”谱雷塌”了 |
| [02:11] | No. I double-checked them. | 胡说 我检查过了 |
| [02:13] | Wait. | 慢着 |
| [02:13] | Are people using my name | 大家竟然用我的名字 |
| [02:14] | to mean “Make a small mistake”? | 来比喻”毛毛躁躁” |
| [02:18] | Yes. | 是啊 |
| [02:48] | Let’s make this party fast and furious, | 速度开始激情结束 |
| [02:50] | in that order. | 本着这条开完派对 |
| [02:51] | Yeah, I want to go to the dance. | 我蛮想去舞会的 |
| [02:53] | I heard the dean’s got free taco meat from the army. | 听说院长从军方搞来玉米饼卷肉 免费发放 |
| [02:55] | We can go to the dance in a bit. | 去舞会倒也可以 |
| [02:57] | But first, why don’t we tell some scaaary stories? | 但不如 我们先讲两个恐怖故事吧 |
| [03:02] | Good! | 好呀 |
| [03:04] | I’ll start with a story about a horrible fate | 我先来 讲述一个无辜人们 |
| [03:06] | befalling innocent people, | 惨遭不幸的故事 |
| [03:08] | And then I’m curious to get individual reactions. | 我想看到每个人的反应 |
| [03:12] | Once upon a time, | 从前 |
| [03:12] | there was a couple in a car in the woods | 有一对孤男寡女 在深夜寂林中 |
| [03:14] | making out or something. | 耳鬓厮磨 |
| [03:18] | I think I heard something. | 我好像听见了怪声 |
| [03:20] | It’s just the sound of my heart, baby. | 那是我心潮澎湃的轰响 |
| [03:23] | In the news tonight, top story: | 今晚播报 新闻提要 |
| [03:25] | an escaped convict from the asylum has escaped, | 精神病院一囚犯今日越狱 |
| [03:28] | and he’s mental and he’s on the loose and stuff. | 精神状况不稳定 不可理喻 |
| [03:29] | Oh, my god. That sounds dangerous. | 天哪 听着好危险 |
| [03:32] | Oh, I’m sure it’s no biggie, | 哎呀 这人不能怎样 |
| [03:33] | but I am a horny man. | 但我可欲火难熬了 |
| [03:34] | I’m only half-present. | 戏才做一半 |
| [03:35] | He was last seen in the woods and has a thingy for a hand, | 此人最后一次目击 是在密林中 |
| [03:38] | a hook thing where his hand should be. | 断臂一只 装有铁钩手 |
| [03:40] | – You know what I mean. – That sounds dangerous. | -大家懂的 -感觉真蛮危险 |
| [03:42] | Fine, I’ll get out and look. | 服了你 我这就出去看看 |
| [03:46] | But then I’m entitled to sex. | 看完就要专心和我亲热了 |
| [03:53] | I’m getting stabbed with his hook hand thing. | 我被他的铁钩手刺中了 |
| [03:55] | Oh, my god! No! | 天哪 不 |
| [03:57] | I was right! | 被我说中了 |
| [03:59] | And the woman was screaming and screaming | 女人尖叫连连 难施援手 |
| [04:00] | and the man got killed. | 男人就被杀了 |
| [04:01] | – Abed? – Yep? | -阿布蒂 -怎么 |
| [04:03] | How did that story make you feel? | 你听完这故事 有何感受 |
| [04:04] | – Embarrassed. – That’s an odd reaction. | -不屑 -这反应好奇怪 |
| [04:07] | Seems fair. | 不奇怪 |
| [04:08] | What embarrassed you about it? | 哪点让你不屑了 |
| [04:10] | I didn’t care about the characters. | 人物塑造不入我的眼 |
| [04:11] | Didn’t care about them? | 不入您法眼 |
| [04:12] | They were stupid. | 蠢到家了 |
| [04:13] | They deliberately put themselves in danger, | 他们故意以身犯险 |
| [04:14] | and, when they were warned about it, | 明明收到警告了 |
| [04:15] | the guy got out of the car. | 那男人居然还下车 |
| [04:16] | Do you believe because he was stupid | 你的意思是 他太蠢了 |
| [04:18] | he deserved to die? | 所以活该炮灰 |
| [04:19] | What the hell kind of party is this? | 这算哪门子派对啊 |
| [04:21] | I suppose, from a creative standpoint, | 我另辟蹊径地提出 |
| [04:22] | some characters deserve to die. | 个别人物就是炮灰 |
| [04:24] | Ones that lack common sense or even basic survival instinct. | 这种人物缺乏常识 没有基本的生存本能 |
| [04:26] | Your story’s not scary because the characters | 你的故事并不恐怖 因为人物的抉择与观众相去径庭 |
| [04:27] | are making choices the audience wouldn’t make. | 人们听了不会有代入感 |
| [04:29] | Plus, you need a smarter lead. Here, like this. | 再说 主角要聪明些才好看 打个比方 |
| [04:31] | It’s a dark, cold night in the woods. | 深山老林中 月黑风高 长夜冷凄 |
| [04:33] | We establish a traditional log cabin, | 设定一个小木屋 传统场景 |
| [04:34] | then cut to– | 然后镜头切到 |
| [04:36] | Here we are, a log cabin I rented so we could be | 到了 我租了一幢小木屋 |
| [04:37] | intimate in safety, because it’s not the 50s, | 保障我们幽会安全 早就不是50年代 |
| [04:39] | so we don’t have to park a car and neck at inspiration point. | 车内吻颈 撩拨起火的俗套就省了吧 |
| [04:41] | That makes sense. | 说得有理 |
| [04:42] | I’m turned on by how logical you are. | “智”令”欲”昏 |
| [04:44] | I’m comforted by your shiny hair and facial symmetry. | 你的亮丽秀发 对称脸庞 也让我浑身舒爽 |
| [04:46] | Well, I just brushed my teeth, | 来吧 我刚刷完牙 |
| [04:47] | so this would be the optimal time to kiss. | 此时不吻 更待何时 |
| [04:51] | Enjoyable. Soft lips. | 过程愉悦 樱唇柔嫩 |
| [04:53] | Just the right level of moisture. | 湿润合度 |
| [04:54] | – Would you like to do it again? – No. | -何不再次相吻 -不要 |
| [04:55] | We should listen to the news on this radio. | 现在到了收听广播新闻的时间 |
| [04:58] | I brought it as a cautionary measure, | 我带收音机就是不想错过紧急新闻 |
| [04:59] | because this cabin is within walking distance | 这间小木屋的不远处 |
| [05:01] | of the local insane asylum. | 可是本地的疯人院 |
| [05:02] | Oh, is that why you were able to rent it | 难怪你能便宜租到 |
| [05:04] | -at such a reasonable rate? – Yes. | -这么豪华的小木屋 -没错 |
| [05:06] | I hope you’re as fertile as I am tonight. | 我希望今晚的你跟我一样春意盎然 |
| [05:07] | More. | 有过之而无不及 |
| [05:29] | Abed! | 阿布蒂 |
| [05:30] | Why are you doing the whole song? | 干嘛还要模拟唱这整首歌 |
| [05:32] | They wouldn’t turn the radio on at the exact moment | 他们哪可能一打开广播 |
| [05:33] | of the most pertinent news broadcast. | 就听到要听的新闻啊 |
| [05:35] | It’s too coincidental. | 过度巧合显得太假 |
| [05:36] | But I’ll jump forward in time. | 我快进吧 |
| [05:37] | What was that noise? | 那是什么声音 |
| [05:38] | Based on the news report we just heard, | 从我们刚听到的新闻报道来看 |
| [05:40] | but not just just heard, | 就是音乐唱完的那段 |
| [05:41] | I assume it’s the deranged, hook-handed killer, | 应该是趁疯人院落后的安保系统失灵 |
| [05:42] | who escaped when the asylum’s antiquated security system failed. | 跑出来的精神错乱钩子手杀人魔弄的声音 |
| [05:45] | I guess they shouldn’t have cut corners, | 谁让精神病院贪小便宜 |
| [05:46] | although it is understandable, | 不过鉴于经济衰退 |
| [05:48] | given the recent economic downturn. | 他们也算情有可原吧 |
| [05:51] | Should we go check it out? | 是不是该去查看一下啊 |
| [05:52] | No. We should call 911 | 不必 我们只需 |
| [05:53] | on my fully-charged cell phone, | 用我电力满满的手机打给警察伯伯 |
| [05:55] | lock the doors, and then stand back to back | 锁上门 拿起刀 背靠背 |
| [05:56] | in the middle of the room holding knives. | 站在房间正中央 就万事大吉啦 |
| [06:04] | – I love you– – shh. | -我爱你 -噤声 |
| [06:12] | Did these people ever die or what? | 那两个人到底死不死啊 |
| [06:13] | Eventually, once it had been… | 不是不死 而是时候… |
| [06:17] | eaaarned. | 未到 到 到 |
| [06:19] | Well, britta… | 布雷塔 |
| [06:20] | It looks like you’re barking up the wrong tree. | 看来有人看走眼 操错心了啊 |
| [06:22] | Yeah. You want to hear a scary story? | 就是 你们想听恐怖故事是吧 |
| [06:24] | I’ve got a scary story. | 给你们讲美国恐怖故事 |
| [06:30] | Thank you for pulling me from that carriage. | 谢谢你把我从马车里救出来 |
| [06:32] | I don’t know what could have frightened my horses so. | 真不知道我的马儿是被什么吓成这样 |
| [06:35] | Many vile creatures make these woods their home. | 许多邪恶生物都这森林里窝藏 |
| [06:38] | Some even warn of… monsters. | 据说此地还有… 怪物出没 |
| [06:41] | I don’t believe in monsters. | 我不相信有怪物的存在 |
| [06:43] | I believe every man has good within. | 我相信人性本善 所以天下无怪兽 |
| [06:46] | I must retrieve my books from the debris tomorrow. | 明天我得把书从马车残骸中找回来 |
| [06:49] | I am a school teacher, | 我是个老师 |
| [06:50] | and many children rely on me to educate them. | 很多孩子都指望着我上课呢 |
| [06:52] | Be gone, innocent one! | 走吧 无辜妹子 |
| [06:54] | What’s wrong? | 怎么了 |
| [06:55] | You may choose not to believe in them, | 你可以选择不相信它们的存在 |
| [06:58] | but I a monster. | 可我真的是怪物 |
| [07:01] | and I must feed. | 不吃人不行 |
| [07:06] | Do not judge me for my weakness. | 别嫌弃我虚弱不堪的样子 |
| [07:07] | Stifle your slackened maw, | 省口气吧 |
| [07:09] | you drained and tainted bitch dog. | 你个血尽人枯的贱妇 |
| [07:13] | I’m fine with this. | 吸吸就习惯了 |
| [07:15] | Wait! | 慢着 |
| [07:18] | Teach me to read. | 教我读书识字吧 |
| [07:22] | Wo… | 词 |
| [07:24] | Sound it out. | 念出来 |
| [07:25] | Wo…rd dog | 词 狗 |
| [07:29] | hates… cats. | 厌 猫 |
| [07:31] | “Oh reason not the need! | “别和我说需要不需要” |
| [07:33] | Our basest beggars are in the poorest things superfluous.” | “最卑贱的乞丐 也有他不值钱的身外之物” |
| [07:36] | Yes! Yes! Yes! | 对对 太棒了 |
| [07:40] | You should be proud of how much I’ve changed you. | 我成功帮你洗心革面 你真该觉得自豪 |
| [07:43] | Thank you for helping me, | 谢谢你帮我 |
| [07:45] | but I’m afraid some monsters | 但恐怕有些怪物 |
| [07:48] | cannot change. | 死性难改 |
| [07:49] | No… | 不要 |
| [07:51] | Resist your craving! | 抑制你的渴望 |
| [07:53] | Just pick up a good book | 拿起一本好书 |
| [07:55] | and read! | 静下心看吧 |
| [07:56] | Your porcelain neck, | 你的鹅颈白嫩 光洁如瓷 |
| [07:58] | in the light of the full moon, | 映着如水月华 |
| [08:01] | too appetizing. | 让我食”齿”大动 |
| [08:02] | Unfortunate… | 很遗憾 |
| [08:04] | for you. | 你才是待宰的羔羊 |
| [08:06] | You see, some monsters cannot change. | 正如你说 有些怪物死性难改 |
| [08:09] | But others can. | 有些则能随机应”变” |
| [08:12] | What is this? | 这是闹哪样 |
| [08:13] | I’m a werewolf that feeds on selfish vampires. | 我是一个专吃自私吸血鬼的狼人 |
| [08:22] | And she ripped into his torso, | 他的躯体被五马分尸 大卸八块 |
| [08:25] | like a gerbil shredding a Quaker oats box, | 比沙鼠啃碎的桂格燕麦盒子还破碎 |
| [08:28] | sending chunks of viscera | 内脏碎块漫天飞舞 |
| [08:29] | and an aerosol mist of blood all over the skanky concubine. | 血雾狂喷 溅了那无耻二奶一脸 |
| [08:33] | Then, she flossed her teeth with his tendons. | 她还用了他的肌腱剔牙 |
| [08:36] | And, because he was a vampire, | 由于吸血鬼的生命力强韧 |
| [08:38] | He lived through all of it. | 他意识清醒得被生吞活剥 |
| [08:39] | He had to watch her swallow his last eyeball. | 直到她吞下自己最后一个眼球 |
| [08:43] | She kept it attached to the optic nerve, | 而且她还让眼珠子连着视神经 |
| [08:45] | so he could see down her throat, | 好让他能随着被吞入食道 |
| [08:46] | to his own partially digested flesh | 看到自己那尚未被消化完毕的血肉 |
| [08:50] | in…her…stomach. | 在她胃部翻滚的景象 |
| [09:00] | See? There was a twist. | 瞧 峰回路转 出人意料 |
| [09:12] | Wow, Annie | 我说安妮呀 |
| [09:13] | I didn’t know you were such a fan of…Gore. | 想不到你居然是《吸血鬼戈尔》的粉丝 |
| [09:17] | It’s Halloween. | 今天可是万圣节 |
| [09:18] | If you’re gonna tell a scary story, give it some texture. | 恐怖故事 代入感和真实感缺一不可 |
| [09:21] | Wasn’t that great. | 你的故事也就普通 |
| [09:22] | Well, your texture was so discompassionately macabre, | 你的故事有点太过冷血残酷虐杀了吧 |
| [09:26] | as if without the slightest regard for human life. | 没有点人间温情 |
| [09:29] | That’s enough. Stop pinning ribbons to her. | 够了 别瞎夸她了 |
| [09:31] | Why does Annie get to be good at everything? | 为啥安妮就可以各项全能 |
| [09:33] | You guys wanna hear a real, legit scary story? | 听我说个真实不鬼扯的恐怖故事吧 |
| [09:38] | Hello? | 你好 |
| [09:40] | Is there anyone here? | 有人在吗 |
| [09:41] | I need help. | 谁来帮帮我 |
| [09:42] | Oh, thank God. An old doctor. | 谢天谢地 有个老医生 |
| [09:44] | Me and my partner are top gun fighter pilots, | 我和我的搭档是战斗机飞行员 |
| [09:46] | The best of the best. | 横扫飞行界 无人能敌 |
| [09:46] | Pew pew pew. | 哒 哒 哒 |
| [09:47] | Our f-15 went down in the woods. | 我们的F15战机坠入树林了 |
| [09:49] | I thought I heard something awesome out there. | 难怪刚听见外头一声美妙的巨响呢 |
| [09:53] | Please, come in, for first aids and what have you. | 请进吧 帮你们急救或干嘛的 |
| [09:58] | Mmm, drinks from a stranger. | 陌生人给的饮料 |
| [09:59] | So medical. Thank you. | 太治愈了 谢谢 |
| [10:13] | Wakey-wakey. | 醒醒 醒醒 |
| [10:15] | What’s going on? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [10:16] | This cabin is my lab, | 这个隔间是我的工作室 |
| [10:17] | Where I do weird experiments on people. | 我在这里做各种诡异的人体实验 |
| [10:20] | Look! | 看 |
| [10:21] | Noo! | 不 |
| [10:23] | Forced to be together forever! | 被迫连体一辈子 |
| [10:25] | I sewed you together. | 是我把你们缝在一起了 |
| [10:27] | I totally sewed you together! | 从上到下都缝在一起了 |
| [10:33] | Abed! | 阿布蒂 |
| [10:34] | Now that we’re sewn together, | 既然被缝在一起了 |
| [10:35] | do we have E.S.P.? | 你说咱能意念移物吗 |
| [10:36] | Yes! We’re psychic now. | 有 现在我们通灵了 |
| [10:38] | We can destroy him with mind powers. | 我们可以用意念力打败他 |
| [10:56] | You tried to destroy us… | 你试图打败我们… |
| [10:58] | But you only made us… | 但你却让我们… |
| [10:59] | More awesome! | 更加强大 |
| [11:01] | No! I’m a j-jealous | 不可以 我会妒忌的 |
| [11:09] | Now you are the subject. | 现在你是实验品了 |
| [11:11] | What? What? Tell me more. | 什么 什么 说清楚点 |
| [11:13] | We sewed your butt | 我们把你的屁股 |
| [11:14] | To your chest! Ha! | 丰到胸上去了 哈哈 |
| [11:16] | Noo! | 不 |
| [11:18] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [11:20] | Ha! You fools! | 哈哈 你们这些蠢材 |
| [11:22] | By sewing my butt to my chest, | 把屁股缝到我胸前 |
| [11:24] | you’ve given me boobs I can touch all day. | 我不就能随时自摸了吗 |
| [11:27] | With what? | 拿什么摸 |
| [11:31] | Noo! | 不 |
| [11:33] | No! | 不 |
| [11:35] | Noo! | 不 |
| [11:38] | Nooo! | 不 |
| [11:40] | Nooo! | 不 |
| [11:45] | Feet hands. | 脚成了手 |
| [11:46] | What did I do to deserve that? | 为什么要那样对我 |
| [11:47] | Keep me out of your stupid stories. | 故事无聊 就别伤及无辜 |
| [11:49] | I didn’t say it was you. | 我可没说那是你 |
| [11:50] | I said he was a crazy, old, racist doctor. | 我说的是一个种族歧视的疯子老教授 |
| [11:52] | Yeah, and I’m your crazy, old, racist friend. | 没错 朋友里就我三条全符合 |
| [11:55] | I was, anyway. Now I’m not so sure. | 从前是 现在可能改过自新了 |
| [11:58] | It’s just a story, Pierce. | 这只是个故事 皮尔斯 |
| [11:59] | Yeah? Well so is this. | 是吗 接下来这个也只是个故事 |
| [12:05] | Come back to bed, magnum. | 接着来呀 酒鬼 |
| [12:06] | In a moment, girls. | 马上 美女们 |
| [12:07] | I’m just enjoying an expensive, post-coital brandy. | 我正浅酌事后酒 高档白兰地 |
| [12:15] | Whats we gots heres? | 看来找到好东西了 |
| [12:17] | This is a home invasion, you jive mother. | 入室抢劫 你这假娘们 |
| [12:19] | Easy, easy, easy. | 冷静 冷静 冷静 |
| [12:21] | Nobody has to get hurt here. | 没必要伤人 |
| [12:22] | Yeah, that’s right, honky. | 是的 没必要 白鬼子 |
| [12:24] | You take it real easy | 你好好冷静一下 |
| [12:26] | and give us all your expensive brandy and hubcaps. | 高档白兰地和毂盖统统交出来 |
| [12:29] | okay, but… | 好的 但是… |
| [12:33] | Oh, man. | 可怜的 |
| [12:36] | You…Are… | 给…你… |
| [12:38] | Still…Relevant! | 最后…一下 |
| [12:41] | Oh, my god! Unh! | 我的天哪 |
| [12:44] | Okay, I’m ready for my birthday spanking. | 好了 我准备好玩打屁屁了 |
| [12:47] | Which of you girls knows how to count to 30? | 哪个美女能从现在开始数到30 |
| [12:54] | What…In the hell… | 这鬼东西…到底… |
| [12:56] | Was that? | 是什么 |
| [12:58] | That wasn’t even a ghost story. | 那连个鬼故事也算不上 |
| [13:00] | It was like an episode of some show | 有点像十八禁 |
| [13:01] | we’re all too young to have heard of. | 少儿不宜剧集节选 |
| [13:03] | Fine! Then I chopped up both your bodies. | 别想歪了 我只是把你们碎尸而已 |
| [13:05] | So that was us, and you were magnum? | 我们是被剁了 那你还是酒鬼吗 |
| [13:06] | Still am, Pakistan. Wanna try me? | 还是 巴基斯坦人 想试试吗 |
| [13:08] | Guys, I think these stories are starting to get personal. | 伙计们 我认为故事有人身攻击了 |
| [13:11] | And so needlessly violent. | 过于暴力 |
| [13:13] | What happened to the days when ghost stories | 过去那些正义战胜邪恶的 |
| [13:14] | were about good versus evil? | 传统鬼故事多好啊 |
| [13:17] | Once upon a time… | 从前 |
| [13:23] | Aw, man. My drugs are wearing off. | 伙计 我这儿药磕完了 |
| [13:25] | Who’s got more? | 谁还有吗 |
| [13:27] | Here you go, baby. | 给你 亲爱的 |
| [13:29] | All right, all right. | 太好了 太好了 |
| [13:32] | That is my kind of pot bong. | 女体盛什么的最带劲了 |
| [13:39] | Yo, Jango, check it out. | 来 混球 来看看 |
| [13:41] | Swarms of locusts | 蝗虫之灾 |
| [13:43] | and tornadoes of frogs. | 还有青蛙之灾 |
| [13:45] | I don’t care. I lived in New York. | 纽约客表示无压力 |
| [13:55] | Ugh! It’s like New York out there. | 哦 外面可真像纽约 |
| [13:57] | We interrupt your death metal | 抱歉打扰重金属狂欢夜 |
| [13:58] | to bring you some heavy news. | 有重要消息播报 |
| [14:00] | All the good christians got raptured up to heaven, | 善良的信徒都上了天堂 |
| [14:02] | So if you’re hearing this, | 如果你能听到 |
| [14:04] | The good news is you’re the coolest people in the world. | 好消息是 你们帅呆酷毙 举世无双 |
| [14:06] | Yes! | 好耶 |
| [14:07] | The bad news is the world is over. | 坏消息是 没”世”让你们活了 |
| [14:09] | This is NPR. | 夜间新闻报道 |
| [14:10] | Aw, man. End of days? | 惨了 世界末日吗 |
| [14:12] | Could anything suck harder than this? | 惨不忍睹 |
| [14:15] | Hel-lo! | 你…们好 |
| [14:18] | Devil here. | 魔鬼给你们请安 |
| [14:20] | Just popping by with a little damnation orientation. | 顺路带来地狱游小贴士 |
| [14:23] | Here’s the sched. | 现在是无线电播送 |
| [14:24] | 00, you’ll be buried neck-deep in scorpions. | 蝎噬之刑 请按00 |
| [14:26] | 15, lava enemas, followed by pilates. | 熔岩灌肠请按15 接下来是普拉提 |
| [14:30] | – Oh. That’s good. – I like pilates. | -还不错 -我喜欢普拉提[健身操] |
| [14:31] | Pilates is a demon that eats your genitals. | 我所谓的普拉提是恶魔噬蛋之刑 |
| [14:34] | But first, | 这些稍后 |
| [14:35] | stabby-stabby. | 吓怕怕吧 |
| [14:39] | For whom do ye cry out? | 你哭给谁看 |
| [14:41] | All the good people are gone! | 好人都修仙走人了 |
| [14:49] | It’s our friend we used to pick on for being christian. | 那不是我们欺凌的信徒朋友嘛 |
| [14:52] | Oh, she looks great. | 哇 好纯好美 |
| [14:56] | A righteous wind blows! | 正义的风在吹 |
| [15:00] | Off to pilates! | 吹到普拉提了 |
| [15:03] | Thank you for saving us, Shirley. | 谢谢你救了我们 雪瑞 |
| [15:06] | I mean, your name’s not Shirley, | 我知道 你名字不叫雪瑞 |
| [15:08] | This is a story about strangers. | 原创故事 不宜对号入座 |
| [15:09] | Anyhoo, can you take us | 不管怎样 能带我们去天堂吗 |
| [15:11] | to heaven now, please? | 求你了 |
| [15:13] | Ooh, I cannot. | 哦 我不能 |
| [15:15] | I just came to say good-bye on my way to Abraham’s bosom. | 我只是顺路道别 前往极乐世界 |
| [15:19] | Bye. | 再见 |
| [15:20] | I forgive you. | 我宽恕你们 |
| [15:26] | Gay marriage! | 打倒基婚 |
| [15:30] | And he chainsawed them to bits! | 然后他把他们锯成了碎屑 |
| [15:32] | Then he put ’em back together. | 又把他们给装回去 |
| [15:33] | And then he chainsawed them again! | 再把他们锯成碎屑 |
| [15:36] | Forever. | 循环往复 永无休止 |
| [15:38] | Where was Jeff in that story? | 杰夫打过酱油就没影了吗 |
| [15:39] | And why was my name Jango? | 凭什么我要叫混球 |
| [15:45] | Shirley,that wasn’t a hard story, | 雪瑞 那不是个好故事 |
| [15:48] | that was a sermon. | 那是在说教 |
| [15:49] | You ruined a Britta party. | 你毁了一个”谱雷塌”的聚会 |
| [15:51] | That’s like letting poop spoil. | 雪上加霜 越抹越脏 |
| [15:56] | No! Wait! | 不 别走啊 |
| [15:58] | No! | 先别走 |
| [16:00] | No one can leave until we figure this out. | 事情搞清楚之前谁也不许走 |
| [16:01] | Figure what out? | 搞清楚什么 |
| [16:02] | Long story short, | 长话短说 |
| [16:03] | those psych tests I made you take came back. | 上周我让你们做的心理测试出结果了 |
| [16:05] | Turns out one of you is probably a homicidal maniac. | 结果表明我们中有位变态杀人狂 |
| [16:10] | That’s stupid. | 太离奇了吧 |
| [16:12] | I have a responsibility, | 我肩负使命 |
| [16:13] | as a practitioner of the mental arts, | 作为一个心理学的先行者 |
| [16:14] | to figure out which one of you is sick, | 有义务找出潜伏在我们之中的变态 |
| [16:16] | and get you the treatment you need. | 然后给他对症下药 |
| [16:18] | You’re a danger to yourself and others in your current state. | 他现在的状态于人于己都很危险 |
| [16:21] | We’ve known each other for two years. | 我们都相处两年了 |
| [16:22] | None of us are murderers. | 没看出谁是杀人犯啊 |
| [16:23] | No, but one of you has the potential. | 但有位同志杀人思想冒头了 |
| [16:25] | If we leave here now, | 如果我们现在就离开 |
| [16:27] | do you know what might happen? | 你知道会发生什么吗 |
| [16:56] | Britta, what are you describing? | 布雷塔 你在瞎扯些什么 |
| [16:58] | What? | 什么 |
| [16:59] | Who has images like that in their head? | 谁的思想会这么黑暗啊 |
| [17:02] | Probably the same kind of person that would make us | 或许借鬼故事之名暗地分析我们思想的那位 |
| [17:03] | tell ghost stories in order to secretly study our minds. | 思想龌龊就至于此 |
| [17:05] | I’m just worried that one of you– | 我只是担心你们当中有人 |
| [17:06] | One of us? You took that test too, right? | 为什么只是我们 你也参加了测试啊 |
| [17:10] | What? What are you saying? | 什么 你说什么 |
| [17:16] | Oh, my god! | 哦 天啊 |
| [17:17] | What if it is me? | 如果真是我该怎么啊 |
| [17:20] | Wait. This is crazy! | 等等 这一切太疯狂了 |
| [17:22] | We’re getting freaked out because it’s Halloween, | 咱们自己吓自己 无非是因为万圣节 |
| [17:24] | we just need to settle down. | 我们都冷静冷静 |
| [17:31] | I’ll kill you! | 我要杀了你 |
| [17:32] | You don’t want to be barium sulfated! | 试试硫酸钡的滋味吧 |
| [17:35] | – Whoa! – Stay back, psychos! | -停 -别靠近我 神经病们 |
| [17:36] | Or I’ll slit your throats and bathe in your blood. | 不然我就浴血撕喉 |
| [17:39] | Whoa! What has happened to all of you? | 你们这是怎么了 |
| [17:41] | You heard all the stories. | 你也听布雷塔讲了 |
| [17:42] | Anyone here could be a…Psycho! | 这里的人都可能是神经病 |
| [17:44] | Thinking that is what psycho. | 杞人忧天才是神经病 |
| [17:46] | Here, I have a story that I think might help. | 给你们讲个温情故事治愈一下吧 |
| [17:58] | Before you do anything, | 在你行凶之前 |
| [18:00] | tell us why you kill people. | 告诉我们你为什么要杀人 |
| [18:03] | Fear. | 恐惧 |
| [18:05] | I kill because I’m afraid. | 我杀人是因为我害怕 |
| [18:09] | Somebody, please, give me a hug. | 爱我你就抱抱我 |
| [18:11] | Get in here. | 快进来 |
| [18:14] | Love hugs. Love hugs. | 来抱抱 爱的拥抱 |
| [18:16] | Let it out. It’s okay? | 哭出来吧 一切会好起来的 |
| [18:21] | You’re welcome. | 不客气啊 |
| [18:21] | That was the gayest crap | 这故事基情四射 |
| [18:23] | I’ve ever heard in my life. | 无下限了 |
| [18:24] | Yeah, Jeff. What the hell? | 是啊 杰夫 你什么意思啊 |
| [18:25] | Why are you always so determined to have us relax | 你为什么一心执念于麻痹我们 |
| [18:27] | and put down our weapons? | 让我们放松防备 |
| [18:28] | Maybe he’s a remorseless madman with no empathy, | 或许 他就是那个没人性的疯子 |
| [18:30] | who eludes detection by manipulating others. | 想要通过说服大家 来逃避排查 |
| [18:33] | Yeah, Jeff. | 有可能 杰夫 |
| [18:34] | Maybe we should go through your test answers one by one. | 我们或许该挨个检查下你的测试结果 |
| [18:36] | It doesn’t matter. I filled mine out randomly. | 随便查 反正我是瞎填的 |
| [18:38] | – Oh, come on. – What? | -别装了 -什么 |
| [18:41] | You idiot! | 你太2B了 |
| [18:42] | That was probably the test that returned the psychotic result! | 有问题的可能就是你瞎填那张 |
| [18:46] | Hmm. Maybe. | 有可能哈 |
| [18:47] | Well, what kind of sociopath doesn’t offer that information, | 哪门子反社会的不招供啊 |
| [18:49] | like, an hour ago? | 一小时之前你干嘛来着 |
| [18:50] | No, no. I’m no sociopath. | 不不不 我不是反社会者 |
| [18:52] | I always know what I’m doing is wrong. | 是非善恶我自己分得清楚 |
| [18:55] | I’m just a guy that doesn’t like taking tests, doing work, | 我就这样 不爱测试不工作 |
| [18:57] | or getting yelled at. | 不听说教不受责 |
| [18:58] | So if you think about it, | 考虑到这点的话 |
| [18:59] | that makes me the sanest person here. | 我才是这里最理智的人 |
| [19:01] | Boo! | 屁 |
| [19:04] | Is this your test or what? | 这是你的试卷吗 |
| [19:05] | How should I know? It’s just a bunch of bubbles. | 我上哪儿知道去 只有涂卡又没题目 |
| [19:07] | Wait! | 等一等 |
| [19:08] | Give me those. | 给我看看 |
| [19:10] | Why are the scores on the bottoms of the sheets? | 为什么分数打在单子的底部 |
| [19:12] | They should– | 他们应该 |
| [19:15] | Britta, look at the arrow. | 布雷塔 看看这大箭头 |
| [19:17] | You ran these through the machine upside-down. | 入读卡器时试卷放反了 |
| [19:19] | She britta’d it. | 她又犯二了 |
| [19:21] | Whatever. I’ll run them through again. | 好吧 我重新去做一下 |
| [19:24] | And you guys are gonna stop using my name | 你们大家 别再用我的名字 |
| [19:26] | to mean “Making a tiny and understandable mistake.” | 暗喻”犯错犹可恕”了 |
| [19:37] | So we’re all insane. | 我们都是疯子啊 |
| [19:39] | Well, except for this person. | 除了这哥们儿 |
| [19:42] | Is that one mine? | 那是我的吗 |
| [19:43] | We should probably figure it out, right? | 要不要查个究竟 |
| [19:45] | If one of us isn’t crazy, it’s only fair | 我们中只有一个人是正常的 |
| [19:47] | that the rest of us know who they are. | 说明其余的人都是疯子 |
| [19:48] | Or we could hold on to the comforting notion | 换个角度 积极点想 |
| [19:50] | t-that any one of us m-might be sane. | 举世皆疯 清醒何用 |
| [19:53] | Yeah. Okay. | 好吧 就这么想吧 |
| [19:55] | We learned an important lesson tonight. | 我们今晚都上了很重要的一课 |
| [19:57] | We should never make the Britta | 我们再也不能做事”谱雷塌” |
| [19:59] | of Britta-ing each other’s feelings. | 或者”不理他”了 |
| [20:02] | You’re using it wrong. | 这词不这么用的 |
| [20:03] | Wow. You Britta’d “Britta’d.” | 你实在”不会答”到”谱雷塌”啊 |
| [20:05] | – Yeah, way to pull an Abed. – I don’t get it. | -我们去”爱蹦迪”吧 -我没明白 |
| [20:07] | Shirley, don’t Pierce. | 雪瑞 你别”皮二死”了 |
| [20:08] | I don’t get it. | 我还是没懂 |
| [20:25] | Guys, it’s been three days! | 伙计们都三天了 |
| [20:28] | When are you gonna let me go? | 你们打算什么时候放了我啊 |
| [20:31] | At least say something! | 至少说句话吧 |
| [20:32] | Guys? | 伙计们 |
| [20:33] | Guys! | 伙计们 |
| [20:35] | Should we let him go? | 我们应该放了他吗 |
| [20:37] | Hmm…Let me think. | 让我想想 |
| [20:39] | Nah. More brandy? | 不 再来点儿白兰地吗 |
| [20:41] | Don’t mind if I do. | 我直接喝你不介意吧 |
| [20:44] | Mmm…That’s terrible. | 这太糟糕了 |
| [20:46] | Should we get back in our F-15 that we repaired | F15已经意念修复了 |
| [20:47] | with our mind power? | 我们是不是该回去了 |
| [20:48] | I was thinking the same thing! | 我也是这么想的 |
| [20:50] | I know! | 我知道 |
| [20:51] | Jinx! Double jinx! | 你拍一我拍一 你拍二我拍二 |
| [20:52] | Triple jinx! | 你拍三我拍三 |
| [20:54] | Troy and abed sewn together. | 特洛伊和阿布蒂合体 |