| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | And that’s how paleolithic hunting tribe | 旧石器时代狩猎部落 |
| [00:03] | overtook early agricultural civilization. | 就是这样压倒早期农业文明的 |
| [00:06] | Ah. That’s an interesting answer, Miss Edison. | 你的回答很有意思 埃迪生小姐 |
| [00:08] | – Is it right? – Don’t know. Don’t care. | -答得对吗 -不知道 也不在乎 |
| [00:11] | But so far, you’re all getting As. | 不过现在看来 你们都得A了 |
| [00:15] | You’re welcome. | 不客气 |
| [00:15] | Are you sure everyone should get As? | 您真要给每个人都打A吗 |
| [00:17] | It seems a little unfair to the people | 这样子对真正用功的孩子 |
| [00:19] | that actually studied. | 有点不公平哦 |
| [00:20] | Throw paper balls at her head until she sits down. | 纸球扔起来 砸到她乖乖就座为止 |
| [00:23] | Oh! What? Oh. | 什么 |
| [00:25] | – Sitting. I’m sitting. – Good. Very good. | -坐下了 -好 很好 |
| [00:28] | A-pluses for all of you. | 所有人都是A+ |
| [00:32] | Professor Duncan, you are such a great teacher | 邓肯教授 你醉酒的时候 |
| [00:35] | when you’re drinking. | 真是个好老师 |
| [00:36] | – Thank you, Darrell. – It’s Troy. | -谢谢 达伦 -是特洛伊 |
| [00:38] | Hey, the man wants to give Darrell an “A,” | 他想给达伦A |
| [00:40] | let him do it. | 随他去吧 |
| [00:42] | – Nice shot. – Oh, thanks. | -打得准 -谢谢 |
| [00:45] | A toast to the easiest school, the dumbest dean… | 敬杯酒 敬最好混的学校 最白痴的院长 |
| [00:50] | And the ultimate blow off class. | 也敬终极混分课 |
| [00:53] | Anthropology. Who knew? | 人类学 真是没想到 |
| [00:58] | – Hey, Shirley. – Hmm? | -雪瑞 -嗯 |
| [00:59] | You’re not drinking. | 怎么不喝酒 |
| [01:00] | Someone is cruising for an a-minus. | 不喝我可是要给你A-哦 |
| [01:02] | Oh, no, no, I’m with child. | 不不 我怀着孩子呢 |
| [01:04] | Well, if it’s my child, | 如果是我的孩子 |
| [01:05] | it’s okay to have a drink or two. | 喝两口没事的 |
| [01:07] | Chang babies love the sauce, you know? | 昌家孩子好这口 |
| [01:10] | Alcohol and Duck. | 滥饮拼酒 |
| [01:14] | Zoink. | 走着 |
| [01:14] | 出自《史酷比狗》动画中的口头禅 | |
| [01:17] | This is not your child, Chang. | 这不是你的孩子 昌 |
| [01:19] | – It’s Andre’s. – How do you know? | -是安德烈的 -你怎么知道 |
| [01:21] | Because I don’t see any locusts. | 因为蝗虫没出现 |
| [01:21] | 圣经中蝗虫作为诅咒之象 | |
| [01:22] | Besides, a woman knows these things. | 再说 这种事女人心里有数的 |
| [01:24] | Women have a connectedness to their bodies | 女人跟自己的身体有一种特殊的联系 |
| [01:26] | that you would never understand. | 你是永远不会懂的 |
| [01:28] | You have a booger. | 你鼻子里有鼻屎 |
| [01:31] | I know. It’s part of me. | 我知道 姐自己的身体自己懂 |
| [01:32] | Hey. Can we please do the exam? | 我们还是继续考试吧 |
| [01:34] | Question number two: | 第二个问题 |
| [01:36] | How awesome is it that this class is fake? | 这课水得多给力啊 |
| [01:40] | Here is to never telling the dean. | 不告诉院长 干杯 |
| [01:51] | And that is what jews do at weddings. | 犹太人在婚礼上就这么干 |
| [01:54] | – Anthropology! – L’chaim! | -人类学 -敬生活[依地语] |
| [02:18] | 《废柴联盟》 | |
| [02:23] | Oh, professor Duncan, class, | 邓肯教授好 大家好 |
| [02:25] | This is Mr. Jacobson. | 这位是杰布森先生 |
| [02:27] | He’s a writer who’s doing a piece on me | 他是《院长》杂志的记者 |
| [02:30] | for Dean Magazine. | 想对我进行专访 |
| [02:32] | – Ah! – I know, right? | -赞 -是啊 |
| [02:34] | Well, keep taking your exam. | 继续你们的考试 |
| [02:36] | Don’t let my presence distract you. | 别因为我的出现耽误你们 |
| [02:38] | I’m sort of a father figure to the kids around here | 因为我别具一格的教育方法 |
| [02:41] | for my “outside the box” approach to education. | 我在学生眼中就如慈父一般 |
| [02:44] | You know, like that film Children of the Corn. | 就像那部电影《玉米地的孩子们》 |
| [02:44] | 《玉米地的孩子们》：根据史蒂芬・金小说改编的同名恐怖电影 | |
| [02:48] | – Oh, professor. – What? | -教授 -什么事 |
| [02:51] | – Proceed. – Yes. | -继续吧 -好的 |
| [02:55] | The Anthropology final. | 人类学期末考试 |
| [02:58] | Do you know what, I have left the exam paper in my office. | 我把考卷落在办公室了 |
| [03:03] | But it is a real doozy. | 但考卷出的很棒 |
| [03:05] | There is an interactive element. | 涵盖了互动的部分 |
| [03:07] | A performance component. | 个人表现的部分 |
| [03:09] | And I don’t want to tip it, | 还有我不想漏题 |
| [03:11] | but there may be a lump of clay coming to everyone in the room. | 但是可能每人都会拿到一块粘土哦 |
| [03:15] | So, uh, toodle-oo. Cheerio. | 白白 我闪人了 |
| [03:19] | Wowee. This is a real college. | 哎哟 真是像模像样的大学 |
| [03:22] | So after this, | 这之后 |
| [03:24] | we should check out the world food festival | 我们应该去看看在停车场 |
| [03:26] | in the parking lot. | 举办的世界美食节 |
| [03:27] | No way. | 不是吧 |
| [03:28] | There are lunch trucks with | 餐车陈列 承载来自 |
| [03:30] | 18 different nationalities of food. | 18个异域国家风情美食 |
| [03:33] | You know what, not different. Equal. Equal to whites. | 不是异域 是平等 跟白人平等 |
| [03:36] | You know what, better than whites. | 应该说 比白人还棒 |
| [03:38] | Oh, I think that sounds | 这种事不可多得 |
| [03:39] | like an awesome thing to do immediately. | 走过路过不能错过 |
| [03:42] | I bet the reader of Dean Magazine would love it. | 我打赌《院长》杂志的读者会喜欢的 |
| [03:48] | I’m good. | 不必 |
| [03:48] | I’d like to stay here and check out this unorthodox exam. | 我更想看看这个新潮的考试 |
| [03:53] | – Shirley, you okay? – Uh-huh. | -雪瑞 你还好吗 -嗯 |
| [03:55] | Just a little indigestion. | 有点消化不良 |
| [03:57] | I’ve been having it all morning. | 都一早上了 |
| [03:58] | Are you sure it isn’t contractions? | 你确定不是宫缩吗 |
| [04:00] | No, no, no. It’s way too early for any of that. | 不不不 时候还早 |
| [04:02] | Um, my other two came right on schedule. | 我的另两个都是按时来的 |
| [04:05] | Maybe even a little late. | 可以说还有点晚 |
| [04:06] | Jordan was in here so long, | 乔登就是姗姗来迟 |
| [04:07] | he came out with a driver’s license. | 有他那功夫 驾照都考出来了 |
| [04:10] | I’m kidding. That’s not true. Ooh. | 开玩笑 我随便说的 |
| [04:13] | Chang babies are always premature. | 昌家孩子都早产 |
| [04:15] | We gestate fast because we’re better at obtaining nutrients. | 我们吸收营养能力强 所以孕期很短 |
| [04:18] | Some need only eight months, | 有的八个月就生下来了 |
| [04:19] | depending on how much of the mother they eat. | 这就要看他们吸了妈妈多少血了 |
| [04:24] | Oh, uh, Shirley, that is full of chemicals. | 雪瑞 那里面都是化学制剂 |
| [04:27] | I wouldn’t expose your baby to that. | 宝宝接触这个不好 |
| [04:29] | Actually, my doctor said antacid is safe to take. | 事实上 我的医生说解酸药没事的 |
| [04:32] | Yeah, let me guess who paid for that study. | 我猜猜谁给那个研究出的资 |
| [04:33] | Big antacid. | 解酸药大公司 |
| [04:35] | Shirley, chew on a eucalyptus root | 雪瑞 嚼点桉树根代替吧 |
| [04:37] | and–I know it sounds gross– pig saliva. | 还有一种说起来挺恶心 猪口水 |
| [04:40] | It’s the same active ingredient as antacid. | 其有效成分和解酸药是一样的 |
| [04:43] | They just dress it up with a fancy name. | 唯一区别就是高端名字 品牌包装 |
| [04:45] | How dare they. | 有木有天理啊 |
| [04:46] | Hey, you want to see a movie today? | 今天想去看电影吗 |
| [04:47] | – Word. – Cool. | -去 -好 |
| [04:49] | – Hey, guys, why do you do that? – Do what? | -你们为什么那样 -哪样 |
| [04:55] | – It’s cool. – How? | -很酷 -哪酷 |
| [04:57] | I don’t know. It just is. | 不知道 就是酷 |
| [04:59] | Well, let me in. Let me in to the handshake. | 加我一个 我也要击掌 |
| [05:02] | Give you $1,000. | 给你们1000美元 |
| [05:07] | – Indecent Proposal. – Indecent Proposal. | -《桃色交易》 -《桃色交易》 |
| [05:09] | – Woody. – Demi. | -伍迪 -黛咪 |
| [05:09] | 伍迪和黛咪：《桃色交易》的主演 | |
| [05:11] | Nice. | 不错 |
| [05:26] | You two gonna fall in love? | 你俩会坠入爱河吗 |
| [05:28] | No. I don’t know. | 不 我不知道 |
| [05:34] | So have you considered natural childbirth? | 你有没有考虑过自然分娩 |
| [05:37] | Are you kidding me? I’ll take whatever they got. | 开什么玩笑 让药物来得更猛烈一些吧 |
| [05:39] | An epidural is a proper Christian woman’s | 只有硬膜外麻醉 才能让正派基督徒妇女 |
| [05:41] | only chance to get wrecked. | 正大光明嗨一回 |
| [05:42] | Yeah, but from what I’m told, | 话虽如此 可据我所知 |
| [05:44] | the real high is the endorphin rush | 非麻分娩时 脑内会分泌内啡肽 |
| [05:45] | of a chemical-free birth. | 那才叫真正的刺激呢 |
| [05:47] | I read an article that said | 我有读过一篇文章称 |
| [05:48] | some women can actually achieve or– | 有的女人确能达到或 |
| [05:50] | Uh-uh, no, no, no. Thank you for the conversation. | 行了行了 多谢指点 |
| [05:53] | I know what you’re talking about. | 我懂你的意思 |
| [05:55] | And even if it were true, | 就算你说的是真的 |
| [05:55] | that’s not something a woman does | 孩子还在肚子里看着呢 |
| [05:56] | on her child’s head. | 当妈妈的不能这么干 |
| [05:58] | – But– – Mmm! | -可 -别说了 |
| [05:58] | Listen, backseat birther, | 喂 山寨助产士 |
| [06:00] | Shirley’s on her third kid. | 雪瑞都生了俩孩子了 |
| [06:02] | She doesn’t need a third-year-old slacker | 小太妹你呢 家里养俩猫还是独眼龙 |
| [06:03] | with two one-eyed cats governing her body. | 在这越俎代庖个什么劲呢 |
| [06:05] | First of all, | 首先说明 |
| [06:06] | together, my cats can do anything. | 我家小猫一旦合体 所向披靡 |
| [06:08] | Secondly, you disqualified yourself from this conversation | 其次 从你分化成另一性别那刻起 |
| [06:11] | the moment you decided to grow away. | 你就没有资格参与本次谈话了 |
| [06:13] | I regret nothing. | 我心无悔 |
| [06:14] | I feel sorry for the airhead | 我真的要提前同情一下 |
| [06:15] | that you’re gonna knock up at the age of 70. | 你古稀之年要搞的那位蠢女人 |
| [06:17] | You’re gonna be sitting in the waiting room | 估计到生孩子时 你只会坐在候诊室 |
| [06:18] | playing Solitaire on your blackberry | 抱着你的黑莓手机玩”宝石迷情” |
| [06:20] | while a life is created ten feet from you. | 却对触手可及的新生命 无知无觉 |
| [06:23] | Oh, and you’re gonna squat in a babbling brook | 那你呢 啥也不会做 蹲在那碎碎念 |
| [06:25] | and a beautiful star child is going to slide out | 等着白鹤送子 和你家对半瞎的小猫 |
| [06:28] | on a ray of sunshine while your cats each half watch | 一起看新生命沐浴阳光而降 |
| [06:30] | because you’re so natural. | 因为你天然去雕饰 |
| [06:35] | Oh-oh. Okay. Oh, boy. | 好吧 天哪 |
| [06:36] | Can someone please get every mop on campus? | 有没有人能把全校所有的拖把扛来啊 |
| [06:40] | Um, did you break water? Is that broken water? | 你的羊水是不是破了 那是不是羊水啊 |
| [06:43] | – That’s broken water! – Chang baby! | -羊水破了 -昌之子 |
| [06:48] | Nice and easy. Careful. | 别紧张 小心点 |
| [06:51] | Oh, Father, God Almighty, this isn’t happening. | 哦上帝 全能的上主 不是吧 |
| [06:53] | It’s too soon. | 这也太快了 |
| [06:55] | I don’t want my baby’s first memory | 我可不要孩子一出生 |
| [06:56] | – to be Star-Burns. – oh, Goodness. All right. | -第一眼看到的就是星霸 -上帝啊 好了 |
| [06:59] | This is not a big deal. Wait. I mean, it is a big deal. | 这没什么大不了 啊呸 这可不得了 |
| [07:02] | It’s just not a big bad deal. It’s a big good deal. | 但不是坏的不得了 而是好的不得了 |
| [07:05] | If I could have everyone’s attention– | 大家能注意听我讲 |
| [07:06] | Actually would like not to have your attention. | 算了 你们还是别盯着我吧 |
| [07:09] | Okay, give me your attention. | 那个 还是注意听我说吧 |
| [07:10] | This student is having a baby. What am I talking about? | 这名学生马上要分娩了 我这是废话啥呢 |
| [07:13] | You already know. | 地球人都知道 |
| [07:14] | Okay, here’s– okay, here’s what it is. | 好 接下来 好 接下来 |
| [07:16] | I’m gonna go get my prius, | 我去把丰田普锐斯开来 |
| [07:17] | I’m gonna pull around the back, | 我会把车停在后门 |
| [07:18] | and I’m gonna drive her to the hospital. | 然后把她送到医院 |
| [07:21] | I drive a Prius, which I think is pretty cool. | 我开丰田普锐斯 我有我风采 |
| [07:23] | – Dean, go! – Okay, Dean gone. | -院长 快去 -好 院长去也 |
| [07:25] | Can you please call Andre? | 你能给安德烈打个电话吗 |
| [07:27] | He’s “Sugar Boots” in my phone. | 手机里那个”小棉袄”就是他 |
| [07:28] | That hurts, Shirley. | 我伤心了 雪瑞 |
| [07:30] | Oh, oh, I’ll get it because I am here for you. | 我帮你打 因为我时刻伴你左右 |
| [07:33] | We came so close to having one class | 就差那么一点点就能上一堂 |
| [07:35] | that wasn’t all about them. | 没有他们搅局的课了 |
| [07:37] | Remember when they all took that | 还记得圣帕特里克节 |
| [07:38] | fishing trip on St. Patrick’s day? | 他们全体都去钓鱼的时候吗 |
| [07:39] | God, that was a good week. | 上帝啊 那是多么美好的一周啊 |
| [07:41] | This has got to be a Chang baby. | 这个娃注定就是昌之子 |
| [07:43] | Changs are never born in hospitals. | 俺老昌家的孩子没有一个是在医院里生的 |
| [07:45] | More like taxicabs, hardware stores, | 大部分是在出租车上啦 五金店啦 |
| [07:47] | bank lines, sewers. | 银行排队时啦 下水道啦 |
| [07:49] | My nephew Jin was born on a treadmill | 我侄子金是在倍力健身俱乐部的 |
| [07:51] | at Bally Total Fitness. | 跑步机上出生的 |
| [07:52] | 20% incline. | 15度倾斜跑道 |
| [07:54] | “Sugar Boots” says that he’ll meet us at the hospital. | “小棉袄”说他在医院里等咱们 |
| [07:56] | Good. Now can somebody do something about him? | 很好 谁赶紧把他灭了 |
| [08:00] | I’m just saying nobody needs to freak out. | 我只是想让大家都镇定 |
| [08:02] | A Chang is hearty to the core. | 昌之子生命力强韧得很 |
| [08:03] | We always come out healthy. | 我们一生下来就身体倍棒 |
| [08:04] | That’s why there’s like a billion of us. | 要不然十几亿中国人哪来的 |
| [08:06] | You ever tried Googling me? Can’t be done! | 你有没有试过谷歌我 能找到算你本事 |
| [08:08] | Ben, you have to stop freaking her out. | 本 你别再吓她了 |
| [08:10] | Hey, show me some respect. | 喂 好歹尊重我一下啦 |
| [08:11] | I might be that child’s estranged father. | 我可能就是没孩子疼的亲爹 |
| [08:14] | – Well, what’s it gonna be? – What? | -怎么着 -什么 |
| [08:17] | I want to buy the rights to your handshake. | 我出钱 咱击掌 |
| [08:20] | Do we have a deal? | 成交不 |
| [08:21] | Pierce, we’re about to take Shirley to the hospital. | 皮尔斯 当务之急是送雪瑞去医院 |
| [08:22] | This is not the time. | 现在不是说这个的时候 |
| [08:23] | Oh, it’s the time. | 时机恰恰好 |
| [08:25] | According to my watch, it’s 1,000 o’clock. | 根据我的手表来看 一千点了都 |
| [08:28] | – Deal. – Deal. | -成交 -成交 |
| [08:30] | Great. | 很好 |
| [08:33] | – So how does it work? – I don’t know. | -接下来怎么弄 -不知道 |
| [08:34] | We just kind of do it | 每当妙语脱口而出 |
| [08:35] | when one of us says something awesome. | 我俩就自然击掌了 默契无须言说 |
| [08:37] | -对 -好 贝蒂・嘉宝 – Yeah. – All right. Betty Grable. | |
| [08:37] | 二战时好莱坞性感女星 | |
| [08:42] | 我说了 贝蒂・嘉宝 I said Betty Grable. | |
| [08:56] | – No. – Yes. | -不要 -要 |
| [09:00] | – No. – Do it. | -不要 -赶紧着 |
| [09:03] | Make your money, whore. | 妞儿 给爷拍一个 |
| [09:12] | 贝蒂・嘉宝是谁啊 Who’s Betty Grable? | |
| [09:14] | Yeah, that’s the stuff. | 哦也 感觉真爽啊 |
| [09:18] | Try to take deep breaths and relax. | 深呼吸 放轻松 |
| [09:21] | – Where is the Dean? – Oh, my god! | -院长呢 -哦 上帝啊 |
| [09:23] | – Okay. – Everything’s wet! | -好的 -我下面全湿了 |
| [09:24] | Eew! Oh. Oh, that’s okay. | 呕 没关系啦 |
| [09:26] | That’s okay because it is natural. | 没关系 这是自然现象 |
| [09:29] | It’s natural. | 自然现象 |
| [09:30] | Are you uncomfortable, Britta? | 你不舒服吗 布雷塔 |
| [09:32] | You wish. | 想得美 |
| [09:34] | – Oh. Okay. Ooh. – $400. $500. | -好 呼吸 -四百 五百 |
| [09:37] | It’s like a million bucks in dog dollars. | 相当于一百万富贵狗币了 |
| [09:37] | 指富贵狗儿童俱乐部 一档儿童理财节目 | |
| [09:39] | Word. | 妙语啊 |
| [09:43] | – What happened? – Something’s off. | -怎么了 -不对劲 |
| [09:48] | It’s like buying candy from a baby. | 忽悠他俩太容易了 |
| [09:51] | What did you do? You ruined it! | 你耍什么阴招了 你毁了我们的默契 |
| [09:53] | Troy, give him back the money. | 特洛伊 把钱还给他 |
| [09:54] | No, no, no. Money doesn’t matter anymore. | 不用 现在不是钱的事了 |
| [09:57] | Once you’ve sold something out, you can’t get it back. | 卖出去的玩意泼出去的水 |
| [10:00] | But you didn’t even like our handshake! | 你又不喜欢我们击掌 |
| [10:01] | I hated it. Now it’s gone. | 我讨厌死它了 现在它没咯 |
| [10:04] | 你们俩比杰奇・库根还蠢 You two are dumber than Jackie Coogan. | |
| [10:07] | 那小子跟贝蒂・嘉宝离婚了 He divorced Betty Grable. | |
| [10:13] | Jeff, Pierce tainted our special handshake | 杰夫 皮尔斯用他的脏钱 |
| [10:15] | with his blood money | 玷污了我们的击掌礼 |
| [10:16] | and now we can’t get the magic back! | 现在意境全毁了 |
| [10:18] | Holy crap. You two for real? | 搞毛啊 你们俩玩真的 |
| [10:20] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [10:20] | Nobody cares about your stupid handshake. | 谁在乎你们那傻了吧唧的击掌礼 |
| [10:22] | A baby is coming out of Shirley’s vagina | 雪瑞的宝宝正往外出呢 |
| [10:24] | two feet from us. – Don’t worry. | -就在两英尺外 -别担心 |
| [10:26] | Her contractions are still six minutes apart. | 她的宫缩还维持在六分钟一次 |
| [10:27] | So unless her cervix is dilated more than eight centimeters, | 在子宫颈扩张到8公分前 |
| [10:29] | we still have time to get her to a hospital. | 我们还来得及把她送到医院 |
| [10:34] | I delivered a baby earlier this year | 今年我在SUV后厢 |
| [10:35] | in the back of an SUV. | 给人接过生 |
| [10:35] | 指S2E3背景中阿布蒂给某女接生 | |
| [10:36] | – What? – hmm-hmm. | -什么 -真滴 |
| [10:37] | Where was I when that happened? | 那时我在哪儿呢 |
| [10:38] | I don’t know. Off in the background. | 不知道 人肉背景吧 |
| [10:41] | – Did you pull your car up? – Uh, no. | -你把车开来了吗 -没 |
| [10:44] | – It’s been overturned! – what? | -被人掀翻了 -什么 |
| [10:46] | Okay, look, I don’t want to alarm anyone, | 我不想吓到你们大家 |
| [10:49] | but the world food festival has taken a dark turn. | 但是世界美食节出了突发状况 |
| [10:52] | I guess some national ethnicities don’t play nice with others | 大概某些民族就是和别人合不来 |
| [10:56] | and things have turned into a bit of a race… | 然后就变成了一场种族运动 |
| [11:00] | – kerfuffle. – You mean riot? | -热潮 -你是说暴乱吗 |
| [11:02] | Uh, let’s use kerfuffle for now, okay, Mr. Winger? | 我们还是称之为热潮吧 翁格先生 |
| [11:07] | I was just trying to feed hungry foodies. | 人家只是想救济饥民嘛 |
| [11:10] | I’m going to call an ambulance. | 我去叫辆救护车 |
| [11:11] | Oh, there’s ambulances out there! | 那儿就有辆救护车 |
| [11:13] | They’re overturning those too! | 也被人围攻着呢 |
| [11:15] | I mean, I didn’t even know there was a difference | 我哪知道南朝鲜和北朝鲜的烤肉 |
| [11:18] | between north and south Korean barbeque. | 还有什么区别 |
| [11:21] | I mean, M.A.S.H lasted longer than that war. | 《陆军野战医院》播的时间都比朝鲜战争长 |
| [11:21] | CBS剧集 根据同名电影改变 播出11年 | |
| [11:23] | Get over it. Am I right? Don’t print that. | 就别揪着不放啦 这段掐了别写 |
| [11:26] | Let’s just quit jotting. Stop writing! | 别记啦 你他娘的别写了 |
| [11:29] | Okay, 911 says it’s gonna take over an hour | 急救车说要一个小时才能来 |
| [11:31] | because of a race kerfuffle. | 因为某场种族运动热潮 |
| [11:34] | Oh. Lake Woebegone. Eeh! | 不疼不疼 大吉大利 |
| [11:36] | Abed, what do we do? | 阿布蒂 我们该怎么办 |
| [11:38] | Shirley, pretend I’m saying this | 雪瑞 假装我在用一种 |
| [11:39] | in a soothing, reassuring, non-robotic voice. | 舒缓抚慰 非机械的语调说话 |
| [11:41] | We’re not going to make it to the hospital. | 医院怕是去不成了 |
| [11:43] | Yes, I am. | 不 我要去 |
| [11:44] | I’m going to have this baby in a hospital | 我要在医院产下这个孩子 |
| [11:45] | with my husband and the father of my baby. | 我老公 孩子他爸要陪在身边 |
| [11:47] | Unless that father is me. | 我是亲爹 这些就免了 |
| [11:49] | In which case, what you need to do now | 这种情况下 你要这么做 |
| [11:50] | is elevate your legs over your head | 把腿高举过头顶 |
| [11:52] | while facing the northeast corner of the room. | 脸朝房间的东北角 |
| [11:54] | but try not to look at the door, okay? | 但是别看门 好吧 |
| [11:57] | That’s bad luck and chang babies are very superstitious. | 那样不吉利 昌家孩子都很迷信的 |
| [11:59] | Also if you can visualize a rabbit riding a dragon, | 还有 想象一幅龙腾兔跃的景象 |
| [12:03] | it’ll increase his chances of winning lotteries. | 这样可以让孩子”彩”运亨通 |
| [12:06] | Ben, corner. | 本 墙角凉快去 |
| [12:08] | Listen, Shirley, we’re having the baby right here, right now. | 听着雪瑞 我们得在这儿接生 |
| [12:12] | – Okay. – Okay. | -好的 -好 |
| [12:14] | Troy, get every blanket and coat you can find. | 特洛伊 找点毯子大衣过来 有多少拿多少 |
| [12:16] | Anything soft for Shirley to lie on. | 只要是软的就行 给雪瑞垫着 |
| [12:18] | Annie, I need you to call Andre | 安妮 我要你给安德烈打电话 |
| [12:19] | and tell him to meet us here instead. | 告诉他我们改在这儿见 |
| [12:20] | What can I do? | 我能干点什么 |
| [12:21] | Stop grabbing her shoulders. | 别死抓着她的肩膀不放 |
| [12:22] | – What are you doing? – Being natural. | -你这是干嘛 -装自然 扮淡定啊 |
| [12:25] | Jeff, help me move Shirley to the ground. | 杰夫 帮我把雪瑞挪到地上去 |
| [12:28] | All right, just stand right here. | 好嘞 就这儿吧 |
| [12:30] | Easy. Easy. Troy, blankets. There we go. | 轻点轻点 特洛伊 上毯子 好了 |
| [12:33] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [12:35] | I just need to take a look | 我得看看 |
| [12:36] | and see how far along you are. | 你到哪一步了 |
| [12:37] | Oh, no, I’m sorry, Abed. | 不要 抱歉 阿布蒂 |
| [12:38] | I don’t feel comfortable with you taking a grand tour of my nethers. | 让你看我下体好别扭啊 |
| [12:41] | I’d prefer it was one of the girls. | 还是让个女孩子来吧 |
| [12:43] | I can do it! I can do it! I’m good at looking! | 我来我来 我明察秋毫 |
| [12:45] | I’m here for you, Shirley. Okay, what do I do? | 我就在你旁边雪瑞 要我干嘛 |
| [12:48] | Okay, you just need to look and see if the baby’s head | 你只需要看看 婴儿的头 |
| [12:50] | has reached the cervix. – No problowe, Rob Lowe. | -有没有到子宫颈 -没问题 温缇 |
| [13:11] | I take it the head has reached the cervix. | 看这样脑袋应该到子宫颈了 |
| [13:16] | Oh, god. Okay. Oh, god. All right. | 天哪 好吧 天啊 |
| [13:19] | Not to worry. This kind of thing happens all the time. | 不用担心 这种事儿常有发生 |
| [13:22] | Are a lot of babies born in classrooms? | 有很多小孩在教室里出生吗 |
| [13:24] | Well, a lot more are conceived. | 反正在教室种下的不少 |
| [13:27] | No, Paul, that’s off the record and not true. Sort of. | 别记了保罗 纯属YY野史 基本是假的 |
| [13:30] | – Annie. – Got to go. | -安妮 -要挂了 |
| [13:31] | Hey, okay, due to an unforeseen conflict of genitals | 鉴于某种临时突发的性别差异问题 |
| [13:33] | I’ve been disqualified from delivering Shirley’s baby | 我没法给雪瑞接生了 |
| [13:35] | so I’m gonna have to walk you through it. | 所以我来指导 你来操作 |
| [13:37] | I can’t deliver a baby. | 我不懂接生啊 |
| [13:38] | I’m not properly prepared. | 我没有准备好啊 |
| [13:40] | I need to take a class, or read a book, | 我得先上个课 读个书 |
| [13:41] | Or shadow a nurse, or at least have my mom hug me first. | 给护士打个下手 至少我妈得抱我一下 |
| [13:43] | Oh, god. Oh, god. I’m seeing spots. | 哦天哪 好多星星啊 |
| [13:45] | Oh, my Lord, my Lord, | 上帝啊上帝啊 |
| [13:47] | Why are you doing these things to me? | 为什么对我这么残忍 |
| [13:49] | How have I failed you? | 我何曾让您失望 |
| [13:50] | Either way, someone’s got to calm her down. | 总之 得有人来安抚她 |
| [13:52] | I got this. Shirley, look at me. | 我来吧 雪瑞 看着我 |
| [13:56] | Look at my face. | 看着我的脸 |
| [13:58] | Connect with me. | 和我交流 |
| [14:02] | Ha ha ha ha ha | 哈哈哈哈哈哈 |
| [14:04] | – What in the hell? – I don’t know what to do! | -搞什么啊 -我不知道该怎么办啊 |
| [14:06] | – Chang! Where’s Chang? – What’s up, baby? | -昌 你在哪儿啊昌 -怎么了宝贝 |
| [14:09] | You said Chang babies all come this way? | 你说昌家的孩子都是这么降生的 |
| [14:12] | Yeah, like a bullet from a gun. | 是啊 如离弦之箭 出膛之弹 |
| [14:13] | – And they’re all okay? – Hell, yeah. | -还都活的好好的吗 -那当然了 |
| [14:16] | More than okay. Super babies. | 不仅好好的 还都是超能婴儿 |
| [14:18] | Seven generations of little scrappers | 这七代宝宝中的战斗机 |
| [14:20] | born in the worst conditions you can imagine. | 生产环境之艰难 超乎想像 |
| [14:22] | Tell me. | 说说看 |
| [14:23] | My cousin slid out feet first in a pickle barrel. | 我表哥脚朝下掉进了腌黄瓜缸里 |
| [14:26] | My uncle was born during rainy season in a Mongolian sheep pasture. | 我叔叔出生在蒙古牧场的雨季时节 |
| [14:29] | My brother, hmm, born under a crowded noodle bar | 我哥呢 生在一个嘈杂的拉面馆里 |
| [14:32] | while my grandfather finished his happy dancing shrimp. | 当时我爷爷刚吃完美味的骆驼虾 |
| [14:34] | Nothing can stop us. | 啥都挡不住咱昌家人 |
| [14:36] | Not the hurricanes. Not the communists. | 龙卷风卷不走 共产党人吓不住 |
| [14:38] | Not the Feds. Not the girl scouts. | 联调局查不尽 女童子军烦不死 |
| [14:40] | What are you doing? Get in there. | 你这是干什么 过去呀 |
| [14:42] | Me? Forget it. I’m the worst. | 就我? 算了吧 我最锉了 |
| [14:44] | Well, that’s a discussion for a different time. | 这一话题咱可以日后再议 |
| [14:47] | Look, Britta, there is something in you | 布雷塔 你内心一直有种情感 |
| [14:50] | that wants to take care of people so bad | 让你有着照料别人的强烈诉求 |
| [14:52] | that you’ll do it until you puke. | 鞠躬尽瘁 吐而后已 |
| [14:53] | That’s what Shirley needs right now. | 这正是雪瑞当前最需要的 |
| [14:55] | Are you saying I’ll be a good mom? | 你是说我会是个好妈妈吗 |
| [14:57] | What? No. | 啥 别扯了 |
| [14:59] | Man, you will really force anything, won’t you? | 老天 还真梦想无极限啊 |
| [15:01] | Just get in there and force that baby out of Shirley. | 赶紧过去 帮雪瑞把娃挤出来 |
| [15:06] | Step aside, people! Britta for the win! | 各位 闪边 布雷塔来绝杀了 |
| [15:10] | Get out of my way. Okay. I am ready. | 别挡道 好了 我准备好了 |
| [15:14] | Abed, walk me through this. | 阿布蒂 给点指导 |
| [15:16] | Okay, at each contraction, | 好 每次宫缩的时候 |
| [15:18] | you need to tell Shirley to push. | 你就跟雪瑞说”用力” |
| [15:19] | That’s it? | 就这样 |
| [15:20] | Well, don’t tell any doctors I said this, | 你别跟医生告状说是我说的 |
| [15:21] | but at this point in time, | 不过事情到这份上 |
| [15:22] | the bus pretty much drives itself. | 只能自己前进 丰衣足食了 |
| [15:23] | Who exactly is the bus in this scenario? Oh! | 这个”自己”是说谁啊 |
| [15:25] | Push! | 用力 |
| [15:35] | The head is out! | 头出来了 |
| [15:37] | Now feel under the neck for the umbilical cord. | 检查一下脖子上有没有缠上脐带 |
| [15:40] | There’s no cord. | 没有 |
| [15:42] | I think that’s a good thing, Britta. | 这是好事 布雷塔 |
| [15:43] | Oh, I am nailing this! You’re doing great too. | 我表现神勇啊 你也不错 |
| [15:45] | Chang, more stories. | 昌 再来点故事 |
| [15:47] | Okay, so in World War II, | 好 二战的时候 |
| [15:49] | a lot of us were rounded up in labor camps. | 咱同胞可多被抓进劳工营里 |
| [15:51] | Mining mostly. | 多半是采矿 |
| [15:52] | Hundreds of Changs were born underneath the earth. | 几百个昌家小崽呱呱坠在地底下 |
| [15:54] | Most spent their first five years underground. | 他们多半前五年都生活在地下 |
| [15:58] | – Hey, I’m here. – Oh, Andre! | -我来了 -安德烈 |
| [16:01] | Okay. Hi, baby. | 宝贝 |
| [16:04] | – It’s gonna be all right. – Okay. | -没事的 -好的 |
| [16:06] | It’s okay, ma’am. We can take it from here. | 好了 女士 接下来交给我们吧 |
| [16:07] | Guys, I got it. I’m in the zone. | 姐已经进入角色了 用不上你们 |
| [16:09] | Okay, come on, Shirley. Come on, Shirley. | 加油 雪瑞 加油 雪瑞 |
| [16:10] | Come on, Shirley. Push push push. | 加油 雪瑞 用力 用力 用力 |
| [16:12] | – Push it! – Push! | -用力 -用力 |
| [16:14] | It’s baby Greendale. | 格林德尔宝宝要降生了 |
| [16:16] | You guys don’t have to name it that. | 当然你们不一定要给他取这个名字 |
| [16:17] | I don’t claim that power. I’m merely the deliverer. | 我没这权利 我就是个接生婆而已 |
| [16:20] | – Britta, focus. – Oh, doy. Okay. | -布雷塔 专心点 -对 好的 |
| [16:22] | Come on, Shirley. | 加油 雪瑞 |
| [16:26] | Oh, it’s a boy! | 是个男孩 |
| [16:29] | And it’s also a black person! | 还是个小黑娃 |
| [16:33] | Not that that’s important. | 当然 这个无所谓了 |
| [16:34] | – Are you sure it’s yours, baby? – Yes. | -确定是你的种吗 -确定 |
| [16:37] | It’s definitely his. | 必然是他的 |
| [16:38] | I never told you this part, | 有件事我一直没告诉你 |
| [16:39] | but all Changs are born with tails. | 昌家人生来都是有尾巴的 |
| [16:42] | You kind of dodged a bullet there. | 还好你没中招 |
| [16:47] | Did that just happen? | 真生下来了吗 |
| [16:51] | – It’s back. – It never left. | -感觉又回来了 -它从未走远 |
| [17:03] | – Oh, we did it, sugar boots. – No, you did it, baby. | -我们胜利了 小棉袄 -是你胜利了 宝贝 |
| [17:08] | Congratulations, sir. | 哥们 恭喜了 |
| [17:09] | After a fierce campaign, I happily concede | 激烈角逐后 双方在友好氛围中结束战斗 |
| [17:12] | this baby to you. | 我方败阵 宝宝是你的了 |
| [17:14] | – Pretty classy of me. – Thank you, Chang. | -情场败将小小昌 -谢谢你 昌 |
| [17:16] | Couldn’t have done this without you. | 要是没你我也挺不过来 |
| [17:18] | – No bigs. – Andre. | -言重了 -安德烈 |
| [17:20] | Yeah. | 怎么了 |
| [17:21] | I think I want to name him after Ben. | 我想给孩子取名本 随他 |
| [17:24] | What? | 啥 |
| [17:25] | – Really? – Really? | -来真的? -真的? |
| [17:27] | Yeah. I mean, you may not be his father, | 对 尽管你不是他的生父 |
| [17:29] | but you helped bring him into the world. | 但他降生路上有你相助 |
| [17:32] | All right, well, we’ll have our own little baby Ben… | 好吧 那咱家又添了小本 |
| [17:36] | -班内特 -本・班内特 – Bennett. – Ben Bennett? | |
| [17:36] | 本・班内特：著名橄榄球教练 安德烈是学校橄榄球教练 | |
| [17:38] | Oh, damn. | 被阴了 |
| [17:40] | Okay. No, no. No, that’s fine. | 好了 没事 没事 这样也行吧 |
| [17:42] | 本・班内特 你好呀 本・班内特 Ben Bennett. Hi, Ben Bennett. | |
| [17:47] | Oh, look, he said Chang. | 看见没 他说了”昌” |
| [17:49] | No. No, he didn’t. | 没有 他才没说 |
| [17:51] | – See? Nothing to it. – Yeah. | -看见没 没啥大不了 -是啊 |
| [17:55] | Can you believe that’s how we come into this world? | 真不敢相信咱们就是这样降临人世 |
| [17:57] | Screaming, crying, covered in crap? | 尖叫不停 鬼哭狼嚎 污秽缠身 |
| [18:00] | And then somewhere along the lines, | 但随后成长路上的某一天 |
| [18:01] | we get it into our heads that we’re destined for greatness. | 我们就会明白 我们生而伟大 |
| [18:04] | We are. I just yanked a little dude | 确实伟大 我可是从朋友肚子里 |
| [18:06] | out of my friend. | 拽出了一条小生命啊 |
| [18:08] | Yeah. I guess we passed anthropology. | 是啊 看来咱们人类学及格了 |
| [18:13] | Look at how teeny his hands are. | 看他的手多小啊 |
| [18:15] | You’re so little, right? | 你好小哦 对不对 |
| [18:16] | His fingers are like Good & Plenties. | 他的手指好像小糖豆哦 |
| [18:18] | I know. I want to eat them. | 是啊 真想一口吃掉 |
| [18:20] | – Which is lame. – Totally. | -但这不太好 -绝对的 |
| [18:23] | This has been quite a day. | 今天相当精彩 |
| [18:24] | You can expect a cover story in the next issue. | 我看你要上下期杂志封面了 |
| [18:27] | In a good way? | 正面报道吗 |
| [18:28] | Like an article about what a good dean I am? | 为人讲述我这院长有多称职吗 |
| [18:32] | Absolutely. | 绝对滴 |
| [18:35] | I did it. | 我成功咯 |
| [18:39] | I did it. I am a good dean. | 成功咯 俺是称职好院长 |
| [18:44] | I am a good dean! | 俺是称职好院长 |
| [18:50] | 《院长》杂志开刊两期后倒闭 | |
| [18:53] | 史上最烂杂志创意 | |
| [18:59] | Are you sure you want to do this? | 真要这么干吗 |
| [19:01] | I know people do it in movies all the time, | 我知道电影里的人经常这样 |
| [19:02] | but there are bound to be real world consequences. | 但咱这是现实世界 后果很严重 |
| [19:04] | I know, but if we take that test today, | 我知道 但如果今天去考试的话 |
| [19:06] | we are definitely going to fail it. | 我们必挂无疑 |
| [19:09] | Okay, let’s do it. | 好吧 走着 |
| [19:25] | What are you guys doing? | 你俩干嘛呢 |
| [19:31] | Cancel school today or we tell everybody about this. | 今天停课 否则我们就四处宣传这事 |
| [19:34] | Deal. | 成交 |