| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Gather close that you might hearken the story of fat Neil. | 关于胖胖尼尔 人们耳闻不外乎如下 |
| [00:07] | Born stout of heart, but large of bone, | 生来勇敢 却体态壮硕 |
| [00:10] | his adolescent years were shadowed by scorn and mockery. | 嘲笑与鄙夷的阴影笼罩了他整个青春期 |
| [00:13] | Hey, fatty, fatty. | 死胖子 死胖子 |
| [00:15] | Hey, fatty, fatty. | 死胖子 死胖子 |
| [00:17] | Outlets of fantasy afforded him | 幻想中宣泄自我 |
| [00:19] | some escape from the darkness throughout high school. | 让他暗无天日的高中生活有了些微安慰 |
| [00:22] | And as a man, he traveled far to a new school | 成年之后 他长途跋涉来到新学校 |
| [00:23] | 格林德尔社区大学 | |
| [00:25] | and a new beginning… | 开始新生活 |
| [00:28] | Or so he thought. | 他这般一厢情愿地想着 |
| [00:30] | Oh, they’re down there by fat Neil. | 就在胖胖尼尔旁边 |
| [00:32] | That’s fat Neil. | 那是胖胖尼尔 |
| [00:34] | The name became a joke. | 外号成了一个笑话 |
| [00:37] | I’ll have what fat Neil’s having. | 我要一份跟胖胖尼尔一样的 |
| [00:38] | The joke became his life. | 笑话成了他的生活 |
| [00:40] | Yes, fat Neil. | 是的 胖胖尼尔 |
| [00:41] | And Neil fell again into darkness, | 尼尔再次陷入黑暗 |
| [00:44] | only this time, his thoughts turned to an escape | 不过这一次 他的思绪逃往了别处 |
| [00:47] | of which we dare not speak. | 一个我们不敢提及的地方 |
| [00:49] | But pain need not be spoken to be known, | 但是痛苦不言自明 |
| [00:52] | not to all. | 总会有人发现 |
| [00:53] | It was, strangely, Jeff the Liar, | 奇异的是 谎言者杰夫 |
| [00:56] | Son of William the Barely Known, | 不为人知者威廉之子 |
| [00:58] | who first became concerned. | 最先对此事感到担忧 |
| [01:00] | Neil. | 尼尔 |
| [01:01] | “龙与地下城”：角色扮演游戏 之后开发了一系列周边 | |
| [01:01] | It was Jeff who pretended to be interested in Dungeons & Dragons | 正是杰夫假装对”龙与地下城”产生兴趣 |
| [01:05] | in an effort to lift Neil’s spirits. | 试图让尼尔高兴起来 |
| [01:07] | And when Jeff’s fake interest | 而当杰夫假装的兴趣 |
| [01:09] | resulted in Neil giving Jeff all his books, | 导致尼尔把所有的书送给杰夫 |
| [01:11] | explaining he wouldn’t need them anymore… | 解释说他将不再需要这些的时候 |
| [01:17] | It was Annie the Dayplanner, | 是絮叨者安妮 |
| [01:19] | herself a recovering head case, | 作为有相同经历的过来人 |
| [01:21] | that recognized the signs of coming doom. | 意识到了未来厄运的征兆 |
| [01:24] | A council was called. | 会议随即召开 |
| [01:26] | Troy the Obtuse… | 迟钝者特洛伊 |
| [01:28] | Shirley the Cloying, | 腻烦者雪瑞 |
| [01:29] | Abed the Undiagnosable… | 怪病者阿布蒂 |
| [01:31] | 朱利安・阿桑齐是现代的… Julian Assange is a modern day… | |
| [01:31] | 朱利安・阿桑奇：“维基解密”的创始人 | |
| [01:32] | And Britta the Needlessly Defiant. | 无用反抗者布雷塔 |
| [01:34] | For reasons that should be obvious, | 鉴于很明显的原因 |
| [01:36] | Pierce the Insensitive, | 脑残者皮尔斯 |
| [01:38] | known also as Pierce the Dickish | 也就是犯浑者皮尔斯 |
| [01:40] | and Grandpa the Flatulent, | 也就是浮夸老爷爷 |
| [01:41] | was not invited. | 没有被邀请 |
| [01:43] | The group agreed that what fat Neil needed most | 小组达成共识 胖胖尼尔最需要的是 |
| [01:46] | was to feel like a winner for a change. | 找到做赢家的感觉 |
| [01:48] | They would invite Neil that Saturday | 他们打算在周六邀请尼尔 |
| [01:50] | to a game of Dungeons & Dragons, | 一起玩”龙与地下城”游戏 |
| [01:52] | designed by Abed to help Neil reclaim his confidence. | 游戏由阿布蒂设计 以助尼尔重拾信心 |
| [01:56] | For Neil. | 为了尼尔 |
| [01:57] | At the end of the meeting, | 在会议结束时 |
| [01:58] | they realized that Chang had been there | 他们发现昌一直在场 |
| [02:01] | and felt too awkward to mention it. | 为了避免尴尬 没人吱声 |
| [02:06] | What they couldn’t have known | 他们不知道的是 |
| [02:07] | was that they had just scheduled | 他们刚刚安排了 |
| [02:08] | the most important game of Dungeons & Dragons ever, | 史上最重要的”龙与地下城”游戏 |
| [02:12] | a game which not only might save a life, | 这场游戏不仅会拯救一个人的性命 |
| [02:15] | but which would forever change the balance | 同时也会永远改变皮尔斯身上 |
| [02:17] | between Good and Pierce. | 善与本性的平衡 |
| [02:43] | 《废柴联盟》 | |
| [02:51] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [02:52] | Hey, Neil, | 尼尔 |
| [02:53] | This is gonna be awesome, yo. | 这次游戏会超赞的 |
| [02:55] | So we’re just gonna ignore that hate crime, huh? | 我们就这样无视他的种族歧视行为吗 |
| [02:56] | 其实是Drow/卓尔 即黑暗精灵 | |
| [02:56] | I’m a dark elf, or a trau. | 我是黑暗精灵 又名特尔 |
| [02:59] | Shouldn’t you be wearing armor or something? | 你不是应该穿着盔甲之类的吗 |
| [03:01] | I’m an elf, not a nerd. | 我是精灵 不是宅男 |
| [03:02] | So you guys suddenly just wanted to play Dungeons & Dragons? | 你们突然就想玩”龙与地下城”吗 |
| [03:04] | Y-yeah. | 是啊 |
| [03:06] | W-why wouldn’t we? | 为什么不玩呢 |
| [03:07] | – Yes. – It’s cool, and when you play it, | -是啊 -挺酷的 玩的时候 |
| [03:09] | it makes you happy… | 就会很开心 |
| [03:11] | Like a dragon. | 像龙一样开心 |
| [03:13] | Okay, hi. | 好了 大家好 |
| [03:14] | I am your dungeon master. | 我是你们的地下城主 |
| [03:15] | We will be playing this adventure– | 我们来进行这个冒险 |
| [03:17] | “The Cavern of Draconis.” | “天龙秘穴” |
| [03:19] | Neil. | 尼尔 |
| [03:20] | I understand Neil has his own character | 我知道尼尔有他自己的角色 |
| [03:21] | named Duquesne that he’s been playing for years, | 名字叫迪尤肯 他用了很多年 |
| [03:23] | so I made these for you guys. | 所以我给你们准备了这些 |
| [03:25] | Now, take your time. Choose your character carefully. | 慢慢选 仔细挑选自己的角色 |
| [03:27] | They each have their own unique combination of strength and… | 每个角色都有着自己独特的力量和… |
| [03:30] | – All righty. – Shouldn’t there be a board or some pieces | -好吧 -是不是应该有个板子 棋子 |
| [03:33] | or something to jenga? | 或是积木什么的 |
| [03:34] | No, no, this is a role-playing game. | 不不 这是角色扮演游戏 |
| [03:36] | It takes place entirely in our collective imagination. | 在我们共同的想象中发生 |
| [03:38] | Neil. | 尼尔 |
| [03:40] | I tell a story, | 我说个故事 |
| [03:40] | and you make choices in the story, okay? | 你们在故事里做出选择 好吗 |
| [03:43] | Let’s begin. | 开始 |
| [03:44] | You are all standing on a country road. | 你们都站在一条乡间小路上 |
| [03:45] | Legend has it the evil dragon Draconis | 相传邪恶的天龙 |
| [03:47] | dwells nearby, guarding a massive pile of treasure. | 就在附近 守护着一大堆财宝 |
| [03:50] | Working as a team, | 团队合作 |
| [03:51] | your goal is to track down the dragon, kill him, | 你们的目标是找到恶龙 杀死他 |
| [03:53] | and then claim the treasure as your own. | 将财宝占为己有 |
| [03:55] | Jeff, your turn. | 杰夫 轮到你了 |
| [03:56] | Oh, it’s my turn? | 轮到我了吗 |
| [03:57] | Oh, um… what do I do–roll dice? | 呃…我该干什么 掷骰子吗 |
| [04:00] | You tell me what you want to do, | 你告诉我你想干什么 |
| [04:01] | then I roll the dice to see if you’re successful. | 然后我掷骰子 看看你是否成功了 |
| [04:03] | What are my choices? | 我有哪些选择 |
| [04:04] | Okay, you’re slowing things down, Jeff. | 好吧 你在耽误游戏进程 杰夫 |
| [04:05] | Shirley, what do you want to do? | 雪瑞 你想干什么 |
| [04:06] | I’d like to introduce myself to the group. | 我想要向组员介绍我自己 |
| [04:08] | Hello. I am a dwarf named Zippity-do. | 你好 我是矮人 名叫”叮叮咚咚” |
| [04:12] | Okay, I’m not the best at making up names. | 我不是很擅长起名字 |
| [04:13] | Oh, hey. I’m Marrrrrr. | 嘿 我是马二二 |
| [04:17] | Boy, you weren’t kidding. | 起的还真是烂 |
| [04:18] | Hello, Marrrrrr. | 你好 马二二 |
| [04:22] | My name is Bing Bong the Archer. | 我的名字是射手乒乓 |
| [04:24] | I’m an archer and such. | 我是个射手之类的 |
| [04:25] | I’m…ew! Hector the Well-endowed? Abed. | 我是…恶心 一柱擎天赫克托 阿布蒂 |
| [04:29] | I didn’t know you’d just grab one at random. | 我没想到你们随便拿 |
| [04:30] | I made that one with Troy in mind. | 起那个名字候 我想的是特洛伊 |
| [04:33] | Yeah, I bet you did. | 是啊 我看也是 |
| [04:34] | Okay, hi! I’m Lavernica. | 你好 我是拉温妮卡 |
| [04:36] | I have three armors, | 我有三套盔甲 |
| [04:38] | boots, | 靴子 |
| [04:39] | a belt, | 一根皮带 |
| [04:41] | a torch…. | 一个火炬 |
| [04:41] | Wait, let her finish. | 等等 让她说完 |
| [04:42] | Worst introduction ever. Check it. | 史上最烂的自我介绍 看我的 |
| [04:46] | I am Brutalitops, | 我是残暴托 |
| [04:49] | The magician! | 魔法师哦 |
| [04:51] | Magic user, baby– what? | 我会魔法我最炫 |
| [04:53] | An arrow flies through the air almost hitting Brutalitops. | 一支冷箭擦过残暴托 |
| [04:55] | Six goblins are running toward you | 六个小妖精从林中跑出 |
| [04:56] | from the tree line, drawing daggers. | 拿着短刀 向你们奔来 |
| [04:59] | I attack them using my… additional notes. | 我对他们进行攻击 招数是”额外笔记” |
| [04:59] | 特洛伊和安妮的角色完全选反了 | |
| [05:02] | It has no effect. Britta? | 此招无效 布雷塔 |
| [05:03] | I want to know why these goblins are attacking us. | 我想知道那些妖精干吗要攻击我们 |
| [05:06] | Maybe these woods are their rightful land, | 也许那些树林是他们合法的土地 |
| [05:08] | And from their perspective– | 从他们的角度来说 |
| [05:11] | You’re the AT&T of people. | 你去传销算了 |
| [05:14] | You’ve been shot by an arrow. | 你被箭射中了 |
| [05:15] | Yeah, it hurts. Jeff. | 没错 疼吧 杰夫 |
| [05:17] | Uh, I take my throwing knife | 我拿着飞刀 |
| [05:18] | and throw it, knife-style. | 飞出去 飞刀式 |
| [05:21] | You do ten points of damage. | 你造成了10点伤害 |
| [05:22] | Look at that. | 哥厉害吧 |
| [05:23] | – What am I not good at? – Sex. | -你觉得哥有弱项吗 -你阳痿 |
| [05:24] | But the goblins close in, surrounding you on all sides. | 但是妖精们逐渐逼近 将你团团围住 |
| [05:28] | I draw my plus-three sword of Duquesne | 我挥起强化三点的迪尤肯之剑 |
| [05:30] | and attack in a 180-degree arc. | 然后挥舞180度砍下去 |
| [05:32] | The goblins are terrified as Duquesne draws | 当迪尤肯将力量强化的剑自鞘中抽出时 |
| [05:34] | his powerful glowing sword from its sheath… | 妖精们无不两股战战惊慌失措 |
| [05:36] | And in one move, slices the throats | 只用一剑 见血封喉 |
| [05:38] | of three charging goblins! | 一击秒杀三个血量满格的妖精 |
| [05:39] | Oh, that’s good. | 太厉害了 |
| [05:41] | The rest of the goblins run away. | 其他妖精落荒而逃 |
| [05:42] | Great job with the sword, Neil–you saved us. | 这一剑太妙了 尼尔 你救了我们 |
| [05:44] | What would we have done if you didn’t exist? | 你要是不在了 我们该怎么办哟 |
| [05:46] | Dial it back, Lavernca. | 适可而止 拉温妮卡 |
| [05:55] | Pierce, what are you doing here? | 皮尔斯 你来干嘛 |
| [05:57] | How about you answer that question? | 我还想问你们呢 |
| [06:00] | What the hell is this little tea party? | 这见鬼的小茶话会是干吗的 |
| [06:03] | We’re playing Dungeons & Dragons. | 我们在玩”龙与地下城” |
| [06:05] | First of all, gay. | 第一 真基 |
| [06:06] | Second of all, stupid. | 第二 真白痴 |
| [06:09] | And thirdly… | 第三 |
| [06:11] | Why was this a secret? | 你们干吗要秘密进行 |
| [06:13] | Are you cutting me out of the group? | 你们排挤我吗 |
| [06:15] | I guess we must have forgot. | 我想我们可能是忘了 |
| [06:17] | Yeah, that’s what it was. | 对对 就是这样 |
| [06:20] | 你们怎么没忘把阿尔・乔森请过来 But you remembered to invite Al Jolson here. | |
| [06:20] | 著名假黑人艺人 20年代美国流行白人涂黑脸扮黑人说唱幽默曲调 | |
| [06:22] | And you remembered to let Fatty sit in my chair. | 你们怎么没忘让肥仔坐到我位子上 |
| [06:26] | Get out! You’re stretching it! | 滚开 你把我座位都坐扁了 |
| [06:28] | Pierce, can we talk to you outside for a second? | 皮尔斯 能去外面谈谈吗 |
| [06:30] | Kind of missed that opportunity already, didn’t you? | 抱歉机不可失失不再来 大爷没空 |
| [06:32] | Yeah, but there’s a very specific reason. | 是 但我们有难言之隐 |
| [06:34] | Let’s just play, all right? | 少废话 快开局 |
| [06:36] | I don’t have a character for you. | 我没有给你分配角色 |
| [06:37] | I don’t care, I just want to play the game. | 爷不在乎 爷就想一起玩游戏 |
| [06:38] | – I don’t need a character. – I think you do. | -我不需要角色 -我觉得你需要 |
| [06:40] | Just put me in the stupid game now. | 麻溜的让爷一起玩游戏 |
| [06:43] | Okay, um… | 好吧 |
| [06:45] | As you watch the goblins retreat, | 当妖精们正在四散溃逃时 |
| [06:46] | you notice a 67-year-old naked man with no weapons, | 你们发现一个手无寸铁的67岁光屁股老头 |
| [06:48] | lying in the wet grass, shivering. | 躺在潮湿的草地上 浑身发抖 |
| [06:50] | His name is… | 他的名字叫做 |
| [06:51] | 皮尔斯・霍桑 我才66岁 混小子 Pierce Hawthorne, and I’m 66, dick. | |
| [06:54] | In about 13 turns, he will die of exposure. | 大概13轮之后 他会暴尸荒野 |
| [06:56] | – Jeff? – I wait 14 turns. | -杰夫呢 -我等14轮后再出招 |
| [06:58] | Screw you guys. I’m gonna win. | 去你们的吧 老子要赢 |
| [07:00] | I go to the naked man, and I give him my cloak. | 我走向那个裸爷 然后把斗篷给了他 |
| [07:03] | Pierce, I am Duquesne of Clan Duquesne. | 皮尔斯 我乃迪尤肯家族的迪尤肯 |
| [07:06] | Dumb name. | 弱智名字 |
| [07:08] | I’m gonna take his sword. Can I take his sword? | 我要拿走他的剑 我能拿走吗 |
| [07:11] | You’ve got his sword. | 你得到了他的剑 |
| [07:13] | Pierce, knock it off. | 皮尔斯 别闹了 |
| [07:14] | You’re playing the game wrong. | 你玩游戏的方法不对 |
| [07:16] | We’ll see. | 咱们走着瞧 |
| [07:16] | Okay, I take the Duquesne Sword from the naked man. | 好吧 我要把迪尤肯之剑从裸爷手里夺过来 |
| [07:19] | I attack him! I attack black face! | 我攻击他 我攻击那个黑脸 |
| [07:21] | It’s a critical hit. | 这招是重击 |
| [07:24] | You’ve decapitated him. Brutalitops is dead. | 你将他斩首了 残暴托死了 |
| [07:26] | What? | 什么 |
| [07:27] | No! | 不要 |
| [07:29] | Chang… | 昌 |
| [07:31] | I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask for your character sheet. | 抱歉我得将你的人物卡收回了 |
| [07:54] | – Still your turn. – I run. | -这轮还是你先 -我跑 |
| [07:56] | What? You run? | 什么 你跑 |
| [07:58] | The naked man is running into the woods. | 裸爷一路小跑进入了树林 |
| [07:59] | But he has my sword. | 他还拿着我的剑呢 |
| [08:01] | Can we catch him, please? | 我们能去抓他么 拜托 |
| [08:03] | Well, the cloak that Duquesne gave him | 迪尤肯给他的那件斗篷 |
| [08:04] | was an elven cloak of windwalking, | 乃是精灵族的疾风斗篷 |
| [08:05] | Which is double speed, so, no. He’s gone. | 速度加倍 所以不行 他已经跑掉了 |
| [08:08] | – Damn it! – It took me ten years | -该死的 -我用了十年 |
| [08:10] | and 50 campaigns to get that sword. | 参与五十场战斗 才获得那柄剑 |
| [08:12] | Really? | 真的哦 |
| [08:13] | Maybe I’ll wipe my ass with it | 那也许我会用来擦个屁股 |
| [08:14] | and throw it off a cliff. | 然后扔下悬崖 |
| [08:16] | That’s for sitting in my chair, Fatty. | 这就是占我座的代价 肥仔 |
| [08:24] | I take it that means I’m winning. | 我猜这就算我赢了吧 |
| [08:28] | Pierce, you’ve made your point. | 皮尔斯 你的意思我们都明白了 |
| [08:30] | You can ruin anything. | 你可以摧毁一切 |
| [08:32] | Now come back and give Neil his sword. | 现在回来 把尼尔的剑还给他 |
| [08:33] | I can’t hear you over the sound | 我正用他的剑磨我的蛋蛋 |
| [08:35] | of me rubbing his sword on my balls. | 声音太大 听不见你说的啥 |
| [08:37] | – Pierce! – Ew! | -皮尔斯 -恶心死了 |
| [08:38] | You have… | 你已经 |
| [08:41] | successfully rubbed your balls on the sword. | 成功将你的蛋蛋和剑磨二为一 |
| [08:42] | Abed, don’t help him. | 阿布蒂 别助纣为虐 |
| [08:43] | You’re the Dungeon Master. Just kill Pierce | 你是地下城主 快把皮尔斯弄死 |
| [08:45] | and give Neil back his sword– he’s upset. | 然后把尼尔的剑还给他 他现在很低落 |
| [08:47] | I’m the Dungeon Master– I have to be impartial, | 正因为我是地下城主 才要公正不阿 |
| [08:49] | or the game has no meaning. | 不然这游戏就彻底没意义了 |
| [08:50] | Can you just give Neil a new sword? | 那你不能再给尼尔一把剑吗 |
| [08:51] | That sword is one of a kind. It was forged by my ancestors. | 那把剑独一无二 由我的祖先锻造而成 |
| [08:55] | I hump it. | 我用它爆菊 |
| [08:56] | That’s it. Pierce, Abed, | 够了 皮尔斯 阿布蒂 |
| [08:58] | I need a talk with you in the hall? | 咱们去走廊上说几句话 |
| [09:01] | What? Hey… | 干吗啊你 |
| [09:02] | – Hey! – That kid in there | -喂 -屋里的那个孩子 |
| [09:03] | is severely depressed. | 现在非常的抑郁 |
| [09:05] | Oh, yeah, is that what he told you? | 是吗 他是这么告诉你的 |
| [09:06] | From the looks of it, he’s been using that line | 从他的肥脸就能看出 他五岁开始 |
| [09:08] | since he was five years old to get an extra slice of pie. | 就靠装可怜来骗吃骗喝了 |
| [09:11] | What the hell is wrong with you? | 你到底抽的哪门子的风 |
| [09:12] | I don’t like being excluded, Jeff! | 我不喜欢被排除在外 杰夫 |
| [09:15] | – Do you? – Yes! | -你喜欢吗 -喜欢 |
| [09:17] | Now, go in there and tell him you’re giving him his sword, | 现在 进屋告诉他你会把剑还给他 |
| [09:20] | or you are out of the study group. | 不然学习小组就把你开除掉 |
| [09:22] | I’m sick of you threatening me | 我已经烦透了你总是威胁我 |
| [09:24] | and talking to me like a kid | 把我当小孩子看 |
| [09:26] | and giving me that look you give me | 还用那种怪异眼神看着我 |
| [09:27] | like I can’t get erections! | 就好像我二弟不行了似的 |
| [09:30] | What? | 什么 |
| [09:30] | – Abed, I keep running. – Okay. | -阿布蒂 我要继续跑 -好 |
| [09:32] | But since you’re working against the group, | 但是鉴于你已经众叛亲离 |
| [09:33] | I need to separate you from them. | 我需要将你隔离开来 |
| [09:34] | Good. Who wants to sit | 很好 谁喜欢跟 |
| [09:35] | with a bunch of fat crybabies anyway? | 一群爱哭的肥仔坐在一起 |
| [09:39] | Call me when you’re ready for my next move. | 准备好接我下一招时给我打电话吧 |
| [09:43] | Pierce refuses to give back the sword. | 皮尔斯拒绝归还宝剑 |
| [09:44] | Our new goal is to find him and kill him. | 我们的新目标是找到他 杀死他 |
| [09:47] | I think I just want to go home. | 我现在只想回家 |
| [09:48] | Neil, do not do that. | 尼尔 不要这么想 |
| [09:51] | We’re gonna get that sword back, okay? | 咱们要把剑夺回来 好不好 |
| [09:53] | Now, is there a way of moving faster than he’s moving | 现在 有没有什么能比他的那个鬼斗篷 |
| [09:56] | in his cape of whatever? | 跑的更快? |
| [09:59] | I guess if we had a pegasus. | 除非我们有飞马 |
| [10:00] | If that’s sarcasm, I can’t tell, | 就算你是拿话噎我 我也听不出来 |
| [10:03] | because everything in this game is silly. | 因为这游戏里的东西都挺傻的 |
| [10:05] | Um, Abed, can we get a pegasus? | 阿布蒂 我们能弄到飞马吗 |
| [10:08] | I can’t give you information like that. | 我不能这样泄露信息 |
| [10:09] | Well, there’s got to be a town nearby. | 好吧 这附近肯定有城镇 |
| [10:12] | We will go to that town and ask around… | 我们去那个小镇然后四下打听 |
| [10:14] | About a pegasus! | 寻找飞马 |
| [10:16] | Huzzah! | 赞死了 |
| [10:17] | Is that right? | 这么说对吗 |
| [10:19] | And so it was that the group | 接着这个小组 |
| [10:21] | began to describe themselves walking. | 开始憧憬自己跋涉的场景 |
| [10:24] | And as they described themselves walking, | 他们一路描述跋涉行程 |
| [10:27] | so did abed confirm that they walked… | 阿布蒂一路确认他们的行程 |
| [10:29] | I walk with them. | 我和他们同进退 |
| [10:30] | Until… | 直到 |
| [10:32] | This is a local elf tavern, but all races are welcome. | 这是一个精灵客栈 但包容各种族 |
| [10:36] | Okay, it’s a crowded and rowdy evening. | 今天晚上着实有点拥挤吵闹啊 |
| [10:38] | Beleaguered gnomes hurry to and fro | 饱受诟病的地精匆匆赶来 |
| [10:39] | with glasses of mead for the thirsty elves. | 为饥渴的小精灵们带来大扎蜂蜜酒 |
| [10:41] | Beleaguered? Why are they beleaguered? | 饱受诟病 为什么受诟病 |
| [10:42] | Who cares? | 管它呢 |
| [10:44] | I find a waiter and introduce myself. | 我找了个服务员然后自我介绍 |
| [10:47] | Argy bargy arg barg barg. | 阿奇博格 阿奇博格 |
| [10:50] | – Why is he a pirate? – He’s a gnome. | -怎么是个海盗 -他是地精 |
| [10:51] | – he only speaks gnome. – Anybody here speak gnome? | -他只会说地精语 -谁会地精语 |
| [10:53] | Oh! I do! Lavernica does. | 我会我会 拉温妮卡会 |
| [10:56] | Oh, this’ll be painless. | 这就省事多了 |
| [10:58] | Hello, my friend and brother. | 你好 我亲爱的小哥们儿 |
| [10:59] | How can I help you, dear madam? | 我能为你做什么呢 尊敬的女士 |
| [11:01] | Oh, please, no need for such deference. | 别客气 别那么拘束好么 |
| [11:03] | I am no better than a gnome. | 我比地精好不了多少 |
| [11:04] | Yes, you are, madam. | 不 您高贵多了 女士 |
| [11:05] | You are a human warrior, | 你是人类武士 |
| [11:07] | which is five species classes greater than I. | 比我高了五个等级啊 |
| [11:10] | That’s disgusting. Don’t talk like that. | 太恶心了 别这么说 |
| [11:12] | I am so sorry, madam! | 对不起 女士 |
| [11:14] | Please don’t report me for execution! | 千万别告发我啊 |
| [11:16] | Oh, no, no, no! I didn’t mean that. | 不不不 我不是那个意思 |
| [11:17] | Guys, we have got to do something about these gnomes. | 伙计们 我们得为这些地精做点什么 |
| [11:19] | Britta, ask the stupid gnome | 布雷塔 快问这个傻地精 |
| [11:21] | where we can get a pegasus! | 我们从哪儿搞到一匹飞马 |
| [11:23] | Did someone say “pegasus”? | 是不是有人提到了飞马 |
| [11:24] | A word I understand in every language? | 这个词化成灰我都听得懂 |
| [11:32] | Okay, here’s all the dungeons & dragons stuff I could find. | 我能找到的”龙与地下城”的资料都在这了 |
| [11:35] | I had to carry it all the way from my car. | 我从车里一路扛了过来 |
| [11:37] | It’s very heavy, and my doctor said… | 太重了 我的医生说过 |
| [11:45] | 升级版 龙与地下城之天龙秘穴 | |
| [11:54] | Following the directions | 照着地精的指示 |
| [11:55] | given to you by the gnome, you arrive at a field | 你们来到了一片田野 |
| [11:56] | – full of majestic pegasi. – Finally. | -四下全是健壮飞马 -太不容易了 |
| [11:58] | But they are guarded by a mysterious and beautiful elf maiden, | 可是有一位神秘美艳的精灵少女看管着 |
| [12:01] | who seems drawn to Marrrrrr. | 她貌似很喜欢马二二 |
| [12:03] | Oh. Okay. Well, I explain that we need a pegasus, | 好吧 我向她解释说我们需要一匹飞马 |
| [12:06] | and, uh, I don’t know, | 怎么说呢 |
| [12:09] | promise to fill it up before we bring it back. | 保证把马喂饱了再还回来 |
| [12:10] | She flirts with you. | 她挑逗你 |
| [12:12] | – I flirt back. – How? | -我也挑逗她 -怎样挑 |
| [12:13] | – I say something sexy. – Like what? | -我说些肉麻的话 -比如说 |
| [12:15] | Abed. | 阿布蒂 |
| [12:19] | Excuse me, I don’t normally do this, | 打扰一下 我一般不这样 |
| [12:21] | but you’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen, | 可您是我见过的最美丽的生物 |
| [12:25] | and I would really love a pegasus. | 而我真的非常想要一匹飞马 |
| [12:27] | Works for me. | 我很受用啊 |
| [12:29] | You’re very handsome, you know. | 你简直帅呆了 |
| [12:32] | Well, you know, I’m not really comfortable with this. | 好吧 我感觉挺别扭 |
| [12:34] | My stable has a bedding of heather. | 我的马棚里有石楠花铺的床 |
| [12:36] | Perhaps you’d be more comfortable indoors. | 也许进屋就不会那么别扭了 |
| [12:37] | Abed, try to look at what you’re doing | 阿布蒂 想想你在干嘛 |
| [12:39] | and understand that I don’t want to. | 你就会明白我为啥不想去了 |
| [12:40] | You’ve offended the elf maiden. | 你竟然敢侮辱精灵少女 |
| [12:41] | She seems disinterested in doing business with you today. | 她今天不想和你做交易了 |
| [12:43] | What? | 什么 |
| [12:44] | All right, come on, can we just do this? | 拜托 要干就干嘛 |
| [12:46] | Hi. Hello. I am Hector the well-endowed. | 你好 我是一柱擎天赫克托 |
| [12:49] | You’ve got a bunch of pegasi. Let’s make a deal. | 既然你有一群飞马 不如我们来做个交易 |
| [12:51] | What kind of deal? | 什么样的交易 |
| [12:53] | All right, I take her by the hand | 我拉着她的手 |
| [12:54] | and lead her to the stable. | 把她带到马棚 |
| [12:56] | I light a candle and rip off a piece of my tunic, | 我点亮一支蜡烛 撕下一块我的衣服 |
| [12:58] | which I fashion into a blindfold. | 用来蒙住她的眼睛 |
| [13:00] | Oh, Hector, but I don’t know– | 赫克托 这样不好 |
| [13:04] | I place it gently over the elf maiden’s eyes. | 我轻轻地蒙上少女精灵的眼睛 |
| [13:06] | 此处省略一万字… | |
| [13:31] | Okay. You both fall back, exhausted but still entwined. | 你俩向后倒下 精疲力尽但已然玉体纠缠 |
| [13:34] | Okay, great. I stroke her hair lovingly | 我充满爱意地卷起她一缕秀发 |
| [13:36] | and spoon her for the appropriate amount of time | 离开之前 给她最后一丝温存 |
| [13:38] | – before leaving. – How long is that? | -时间恰如其分 -多长时间合适 |
| [13:39] | Cool, cool, cool. | 爽 爽 爽 |
| [13:40] | All right, the elf maiden, thoroughly satisfied, | 好吧 欲求完全满足的精灵少女 |
| [13:42] | promises you a flock of pegasi. | 承诺给你们一群飞马 |
| [13:44] | Oh, excellent. | 太棒了 |
| [13:45] | You guys can take a break. I should check on Pierce. | 你们可以稍事休息 我去看看皮尔斯 |
| [13:49] | Pierce? | 皮尔斯 |
| [13:52] | I’m here. | 我在这 |
| [13:58] | I need to know what you want to do next. | 我想知道你下一步想做什么 |
| [14:03] | So many things, Abed… | 多了去了 阿布蒂 |
| [14:06] | So many things. | 多了去了 |
| [14:09] | Guys… | 伙计们 |
| [14:12] | I am bringing Pierce back into the room, | 我把皮尔斯带回来了 |
| [14:14] | because while soaring above the forest of Ingold, | 因为当你们呼啸穿过英格森林时 |
| [14:16] | you spot his body in an elven cloak in a clearing below. | 在一片空地上 发现了斗篷包裹的躯体 |
| [14:20] | We got you, dummy! | 落我们手里了吧 呆瓜 |
| [14:22] | We land. | 我们着陆 |
| [14:23] | You land safely in the wooded clearing. | 你们安全着陆在这片空地上 |
| [14:25] | He is facedown, barely moving, | 他脸朝下 一动不动 |
| [14:26] | a pool of blood underneath him. | 身下一滩鲜血 |
| [14:27] | I can’t tell you how long | 我盼这一刻 |
| [14:28] | I’ve dreamed of this moment… in the game. | 不知盼了多久 游戏里而已 |
| [14:30] | Uh, Neil’s sword? | 尼尔的剑呢 |
| [14:31] | Clutched in the right hand of the body | 在尸体的右手里紧握着的 |
| [14:32] | is the sword of Duquesne. | 就是迪尤肯的剑 |
| [14:34] | Sir, I believe this is yours. | 先生 我想这把剑属于您 |
| [14:36] | Thank you, jeff. | 谢谢你 杰夫 |
| [14:38] | Once you get close enough to take the sword, | 当你们靠近去拿这把剑时 |
| [14:40] | you can see that this body, | 你们会看清 |
| [14:41] | while definitely dying, is not Pierce. | 那具将死之躯 不是皮尔斯 |
| [14:44] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:45] | I turn it over. | 我把它翻过来 |
| [14:46] | It’s the gnome waiter from the tavern. | 是客栈那位地精服务员 |
| [14:48] | What? No. Why? | 什么 不 为什么 |
| [14:50] | Good-bye, my friend. | 再见了 我的朋友 |
| [14:52] | Thank you for being so respectful toward me. | 谢谢你能这么尊重我 |
| [14:54] | Who did this to you, gnome waiter? | 是谁加害于你 地精服务员 |
| [14:56] | I never saw his face. | 我没看清他的脸 |
| [14:58] | Just so you know… | 我想让你知道 |
| [15:02] | My name… | 我的名字是 |
| [15:04] | was kyle. | 凯尔 |
| [15:07] | Kyle. | 凯尔 |
| [15:10] | Britta? | 布雷塔 |
| [15:12] | He was an imaginary waiter. | 他不过是幻想出的服务员 |
| [15:14] | I wouldn’t expect you to understand. | 我就没指望你能明白 |
| [15:19] | Now. | 现在 |
| [15:20] | You hear a low rumble on the other side of the tree line, | 你们听到林子另一边传来一阵轰鸣声 |
| [15:23] | followed by a shrill screech | 紧接着又是一声刺耳尖叫 |
| [15:24] | and the beating of heavy wings against the sky. | 沉重的翅膀拍打声划过天际 |
| [15:26] | Wait, wings? | 什么 翅膀吗 |
| [15:29] | What’s going on? | 到底发生了什么 |
| [15:29] | Tell me, Abed, are you familiar | 告诉我 阿布蒂 |
| [15:32] | with the Amburg region of the Edylmann river basin? | 艾德曼流域的安伯格 你不陌生吧? |
| [15:35] | Of course I am. | 当然了 |
| [15:36] | Then you’ll know there’s a reflecting pool | 想必你也知道 在那里镜池底部 |
| [15:38] | with a very special amulet at the bottom of it– | 沉睡着一枚独一无二的护符… |
| [15:41] | an amulet that allows the wearer | 这枚护身符的佩戴者 |
| [15:44] | full control over… | 能够随心所欲地控制… |
| [15:47] | Draconis! | 赤炎天龙 |
| [15:48] | The hideous draconis, | 面目狰狞的赤炎天龙 |
| [15:49] | an all-powerful red dragon, | 是一只法力无边的红色巨龙 |
| [15:51] | crashes through the trees into the clearing. | 它穿林掠木飞至空地 势不可挡 |
| [15:53] | Riding atop his shoulders, | 有一人驾于巨龙之肩 |
| [15:54] | naked as the day he was born, | 他赤裸如同初生 |
| [15:56] | and controlling draconis with the amulet is… | 借护符之力驭天龙之威 来人正是… |
| [15:59] | Say it! | 说出来 |
| [16:02] | 皮尔斯・霍桑 Pierce Hawthorne. | |
| [16:08] | Scream what I told you to scream! | 大声宣告吾之所言 |
| [16:10] | 皮尔斯・霍桑是我的主人 Pierce Hawthorne is my master! | |
| [16:12] | Prepare to meet your doom! | 你们的死期到了 |
| [16:14] | I run towards Pierce with my broadsword drawn, | 我手持出鞘腰刀 冲向皮尔斯 |
| [16:16] | – and I attack his– – Time stop! | -挥刀直攻他的… -时间冻结 |
| [16:20] | “Time stop”? | 嘛叫”时间冻结” |
| [16:21] | Draconis has tons of spells. | 赤炎天龙咒语无数 |
| [16:22] | The six of you are completely frozen and helpless. | 你等六人皆被定住 束手无策 |
| [16:24] | This is why I wanted to play chutes and ladders. | 这就是为啥我想玩宝宝飞行棋 |
| [16:26] | Fine, Pierce. You win. | 好吧 皮尔斯 你赢了 |
| [16:28] | Just kill us and end this. | 杀掉我们 结束游戏吧 |
| [16:29] | Oh, no, killing’s too good for you. | 杀掉的话 岂不便宜了你们 |
| [16:33] | Cast “shape change” on Duquesne. | 掷点数 我要给迪尤肯来一招”变型” |
| [16:37] | What shape do you choose for him? | 你要他变成什么型 |
| [16:38] | Fat. | 胖子 |
| [16:40] | – Pierce, stop it! – Pierce! | -够了 皮尔斯 -皮尔斯 |
| [16:42] | Duquesne starts gaining weight. | 迪尤肯开始增肥 |
| [16:43] | – How much? – Make him as fat as fat Neil. | -增到多少 -增到和胖胖尼尔一样 |
| [16:46] | Pierce! | 皮尔斯 |
| [16:47] | Oh, right, cry. | 哭吧你就 |
| [16:50] | Let it out. | 哭出来啊 |
| [16:52] | Baste your chubby cheeks in tears of gravy. | 爷要骂得你那圆胖脸 肉汁与清泪齐飞 |
| [16:56] | You weren’t crying when you were stealing my friends. | 拉拢我朋友那会儿 怎么没哭呢 |
| [16:59] | They asked me to come here. | 是他们请我来的 |
| [17:01] | You know why, right? | 知道个中缘由吗 |
| [17:03] | I’ve got some fat news for you, fat Neil. | 告诉你条”有料”的消息吧 胖胖尼尔 |
| [17:07] | 人这么多 为什么偏偏是杰夫・翁格 Don’t you know why Jeff Winger, of all people, | |
| [17:11] | led the charge on the “fat Neil feel good” committee? | 一手掌管着”胖尼尔安慰工作”委员会呢 |
| [17:14] | Way over the line, Pierce! | 别太过分了 皮尔斯 |
| [17:16] | I’ll tell you why. | 我来为你揭秘吧 |
| [17:18] | Because I was there. | 因为我亲眼所见 |
| [17:24] | Oh, they’re down there by fat Neil. | 就在胖胖尼尔旁边 |
| [17:29] | That’s right, Neil. | 正是这样 尼尔 |
| [17:30] | 你的新欢 杰夫・翁格 Your new best friend, Jeff Winger, | |
| [17:32] | coined the name “fat Neil.” | 首创”胖胖尼尔”这个绰号 |
| [17:36] | Jeffrey! | 杰夫瑞 |
| [17:43] | Look, before you respond, I can make it up to you. | 先听我说 我有办法补偿你 |
| [17:45] | I’ll find a fatter Neil. | 我去搞个”更胖尼尔” |
| [17:48] | Huzzah. | 馊主意 |
| [17:51] | You made up “fat Neil”? | “胖尼尔”是你起的? |
| [17:52] | Someone asked me where the restrooms were, | 是这样 当时有人问我洗手间在哪 |
| [17:54] | and you were standing by them, | 你又正好站在洗手间旁边 |
| [17:55] | but you were also standing kind of near, uh, other Neil. | 但你旁边还有个”尼尔” |
| [17:59] | So call him skinny Neil. | 你可以叫他”瘦猴尼尔” |
| [18:00] | He’s actually not that skinny. | 他其实算不上多瘦 |
| [18:01] | He’s bald! he’s black! | 他秃脑壳 还黑皮 |
| [18:04] | Well, I don’t look at the world through that lens. | 我是不戴这种有色眼镜看人的 |
| [18:06] | I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be high-roading you. | 抱歉 我不该拿你开刀 |
| [18:08] | I’m the bad guy. | 我真不是人 |
| [18:09] | Now you can all hang out in suspended humiliation | 现在 身负奇耻大辱 当街游行吧 |
| [18:12] | and think about what you learned today. | 想想今天你们学到什么教训 |
| [18:14] | One, don’t screw with me. | 第一 别惹哥 哥只是传说 |
| [18:18] | Two, invite me to your crap. | 第二 不请爷 爷让你吐血 |
| [18:24] | Is it my turn? | 该我了吗 |
| [18:25] | Yes, but you can’t move. | 是 但你不能动 |
| [18:27] | That’s fine. | 没关系 |
| [18:30] | 下一步 我表示可怜皮尔斯・霍桑 For my turn, I feel sorry for Pierce hawthorne. | |
| [18:33] | Save it. | 省省吧 |
| [18:34] | – No, I really do, man. – Good. | -不 老兄 我认真的 -好 |
| [18:35] | For my turn, I rape the Duquesne family… | 至于我这步 我要奸了迪尤肯全家… |
| [18:38] | again. | 第二次了 |
| [18:39] | Jeez. | 人间惨剧 |
| [18:40] | For my turn, I pity Pierce too. | 这一步 我也表示可怜皮尔斯 |
| [18:42] | Trust me, kitten, I’m having the time of my life. | 不担心 小妞 我正是春风得意处呢 |
| [18:45] | I won. | 我赢了 |
| [18:47] | I won dungeons & dragons, and it was advanced. | 我是升级版”龙与地下城”大赢家 |
| [18:50] | – I pity Pierce. – Knock it off. | -我也可怜皮尔斯 -得了吧 |
| [18:52] | Yeah, you really outdid yourself this week. | 对啊 这周你的确超越自我了 |
| [18:54] | There’s a lot of pain in you. I seriously feel bad. | 看到你内心罪恶痛苦 我也于心不忍 |
| [18:56] | Feel sorry for your new fat BFF. | 可怜你那胖胖新挚友去吧 |
| [18:58] | No, we’re done doing that. | 我们不用再担心这事了 |
| [18:59] | He’s gonna be fine, aren’t you, Neil? | 他会好起来的 对吧尼尔 |
| [19:02] | You, Pierce, I really worry about, | 而你 皮尔斯 才是我真正担心的人 |
| [19:05] | at least for my turn, anyway. | 至少我这步是这样 |
| [19:06] | Well, how about this? | 那给你点颜色瞧瞧怎样 |
| [19:07] | Draconis, unfreeze time. | 赤炎天龙 时间解冻 |
| [19:09] | Done. You guys can move again. | 咒语生效 你们又行动自如了 |
| [19:10] | I breathe so much fire on you– | 我向你喷出熊熊烈火… |
| [19:12] | Hold it. You just used your move unfreezing time. | 等等 你那一步已经用来解冻时间了 |
| [19:15] | Neil? | 尼尔 |
| [19:16] | I take the sword of Duquesne, | 我拔出迪尤肯之剑 |
| [19:18] | and I throw it at the amulet around the sad, naked man’s neck. | 将它掷向可悲裸爷的颈项 直击护身符 |
| [19:21] | That’s a difficult shot. You’ll need an 18 or higher. | 这击难度很大 至少要掷出18才能成功 |
| [19:26] | Oh, sweet baby Jesus. | 圣婴保佑 |
| [19:34] | Yeah! | 成了 |
| [19:37] | Yes! In your face! | 哈哈 大获全胜 |
| [19:39] | The sword smashes the amulet, | 那柄剑击碎了护符 |
| [19:40] | freeing draconis from its spell. | 解除了它对天龙的咒语 |
| [19:42] | The red dragon turns his head, | 赤炎天龙转过头 |
| [19:42] | grabs Pierce in his mighty jaws, | 用他强壮的双颌攫住了皮尔斯 |
| [19:44] | and swallows him alive. | 把他生吞了下去 |
| [19:45] | – Oh, no! – Oh, Neil! | -不 -尼尔威武 |
| [19:49] | As a reward for freeing him, | 为报答释放他这一善举 |
| [19:50] | he flies your intrepid band to his cavern | 他带着这支勇敢的队伍飞向龙穴 |
| [19:51] | Where he bestows his treasure upon you. | 并把他的宝藏赠予各位 |
| [19:53] | Congratulations on the completion of “cavern of draconis.” | 热烈祝贺”天龙秘穴”游戏圆满成功 |
| [19:55] | I’ve been your dungeon master. | 我是你们的地下城主 |
| [19:57] | – I hope you had a good time. – Whoo! | -希望您玩的愉快 -好耶 |
| [19:58] | Excelsior. | 妙哉 |
| [20:10] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [20:12] | That was the best game I ever played in my life. | 这次游戏真是此生罕有 |
| [20:14] | Don’t mention it. | 不客气 |
| [20:15] | Want to play again next week? | 下星期再战好吗 |
| [20:19] | Maybe. | 可能吧 |
| [20:20] | Okay. I’ll be around. | 好的 到时见 |
| [20:22] | 故事的结局是 皮尔斯・霍桑 And so it was that Pierce Hawthorne | |
| [20:25] | saved the life of fat Neil, | 成功拯救了胖尼尔 |
| [20:27] | while learning very, very little. | 但他却没长一点心眼 |
| [20:32] | Good night. | 大家晚安 |
| [20:39] | How could you possibly want giant ears over a tail? | 你怎么会不选尾巴 而选大耳朵呢 |
| [20:41] | If you had a tail, people could always tell when you’re happy. | 有尾巴的话 大家就能看出你高不高兴 |
| [20:44] | Yes, but with giant ears, you could hear things from miles away, | 是没错 但耳朵大了就能顺风听很远 |
| [20:46] | and you could wear backpacks as earrings, | 还可以把背包当耳坠戴 |
| [20:47] | which would free up your hands. | 好让自己腾出手来 |
| [20:48] | Backpacks already free up your hands. | 要腾出手来 只要背包不就行了 |
| [20:50] | Guys, what do you think? | 各位 有何高见 |
| [20:56] | We thought our group was meeting now. | 还以为我们组在开会呢 |
| [20:59] | Tail is much better. | 还是长尾巴好 |
| [21:02] | – Thank you. – All in favor of giant ears? | -谢谢支持 -同意大耳朵更好吗 |
| [21:07] | Mm, told ya. | 我说吧 |