| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Hi, guys. Happy new year! | 你们好 新年快乐 |
| [00:11] | Did everyone have a good break? | 大家放假过得很不错吗 |
| [00:13] | Yeah, I discovered a new back muscle to work out. | 是啊 我又发现了一块背部肌肉可以锻炼 |
| [00:15] | Ladies, you’ll thank me come tank top season. | 女士们 静候我的小背心精彩亮相吧 |
| [00:18] | I checked all of Pierce’s wardrobes | 我检查了皮尔斯所有的衣柜 |
| [00:19] | for portals to magical worlds. | 想要找到去纳尼亚的大门 |
| [00:20] | All I found was something called Emmanuelle In Space | 结果只找到了一部《太空艾曼纽》 |
| [00:20] | 美国情色科幻剧 | |
| [00:23] | on laserdisc– I couldn’t watch it, | 是激光光碟 我看不了 |
| [00:24] | but it sounded sexy. | 但是这个词好性感 |
| [00:27] | Laserdisc. | 激光光碟 |
| [00:28] | I joined a campus volunteer group that cleans the city. | 我加入了清洁城市的校园志愿团 |
| [00:30] | We picked up litter on the freeway and dredged the river. | 高速公路上捡垃圾 清理河流 |
| [00:33] | – Dredged it for what? – You know, garbage and stuff. | -有什么可清理的 -废品什么的 |
| [00:35] | Tires, condoms, needles. | 轮胎啊 避孕套啊 针头什么的 |
| [00:38] | At one point, we found a finger. | 有一次 我们还找到一根手指 |
| [00:40] | Why are you using your I-love-butterflies voice? | 你干嘛要用”我爱蝴蝶”的甜蜜语气 |
| [00:43] | What? Am I? | 什么 有吗 |
| [00:44] | I don’t know. Volunteer work is nice. | 不知道 志愿活动很有意义 |
| [00:46] | You do nice things. | 做有意义的事情 |
| [00:47] | With nice people. | 和可爱的人一起 |
| [00:48] | Ooh. | 哎哟 |
| [00:50] | Somebody’s finding river fingers with a cute boy. | 某人和英俊小伙一起在河里捞手指 |
| [00:54] | What? No. | 什么 没有 |
| [00:56] | Well, okay, yes, but it doesn’t matter. | 好吧 是的 但是那无所谓 |
| [00:58] | It’s not like I’m seeing anyone. There’s just a guy. | 我又没和人家约会 不过就是个男生 |
| [01:01] | – A guy that goes to greendale? – Mmm. | -在格林德尔上学的人吗 -是 |
| [01:02] | 是那个像矮版强尼・德普的俄罗斯男吗 Is it the Russian guy that looks like a short Johnny Depp? | |
| [01:04] | – It doesn’t matter. – Is it the guy who looks | -那都没关系啦 -是那个 |
| [01:05] | 长得像文斯・沃恩 但浑身烂鱼味的人吗 a little like Vince Vaughn but smells a lot like fish? | |
| [01:05] | 文斯・沃恩 曾与珍妮弗・安妮斯顿合演电影《分手》 | |
| [01:07] | I don’t want to talk about it. | 我不想谈这件事 |
| [01:09] | Well, I have someone in my life that I’m happy to talk about. | 我很乐意谈谈我生命里的某个人 |
| [01:11] | – Again with the Jesus. – Well, Jesus is always in my life, | -又要谈耶稣了 -耶稣一直在我生命中 |
| [01:14] | but things have been looking better every day | 但我和前夫的关系 |
| [01:16] | with my ex-husband. | 越来越好了 |
| [01:20] | 是那个长得像安德森・库珀 Is it the guy that looks like Anderson Cooper | |
| [01:20] | 美国著名新闻播报员 白发型男 | |
| [01:21] | but with a soul patch and the ponytail? | 不过留了胡子 扎了马尾的人吗 |
| [01:22] | -不是 -是黑人版的迈克尔・奇克里斯吗 – No. – Is it black Michael Chiklis? | |
| [01:22] | 迈克尔・奇克里斯：美国著名演员 | |
| [01:24] | -不是 -白人版乔治・福尔曼[美国著名拳王] – No. – The white George Foreman? | |
| [01:25] | You guys are talking about the same person. | 你们说的是一个人 |
| [01:27] | He’s biracial, his name is David, | 他是混血儿 名字叫大卫 |
| [01:29] | – and he’s a human being. – Guys, stop guessing. | -他是个人类 -伙计们 别猜了 |
| [01:31] | It’s not a thing at all. It’s just a friend. | 什么事情都没发生 不过是个朋友 |
| [01:32] | – Change the subject. – Chang the subject. | -扯点别的吧 -“昌”点别的吧 |
| [01:37] | What are you doing up there? | 你在那上面干什么 |
| [01:40] | It’s the beginning of a new semester of anthropology. | 新学期的人类学课要开始了 |
| [01:42] | And I’m here to get what I was promised. | 我来这里拿回你们承诺的东西 |
| [01:44] | Sure. Who has Chang’s pile of nothing? | 好啊 谁看见昌的”莫须有”了 |
| [01:46] | You know what I mean. I am sick of the runaround. | 你懂我意思 我不想再打酱油了 |
| [01:49] | I’m here to demand an immediate answer | 我在这要求你们立刻做出决定 |
| [01:51] | about whether I’m joining the study group. | 是否同意我加入学习小组 |
| [01:53] | Well, if we have to give an immediate answer, | 非要我们立刻做决定的话 |
| [01:55] | it would have to be no. | 只能是不允许了 |
| [01:56] | Take your time. Sleep on it. | 慢慢来 睡一觉想想 |
| [01:59] | Then get back to me. | 然后再给我消息 |
| [02:00] | Or else. | 不然有你好看 |
| [02:04] | Jeff, you did say we would let him in eventually. | 杰夫 你说过最后会让他加入小组的 |
| [02:07] | That was before he started using his name as a pun. | 那是在他用自己的名字做双关之前 |
| [02:10] | It makes me so changry. | 真是让我”昌”气 |
| [02:11] | Oh, god, it’s happening to me. | 天呐 我也被传染了 |
| [02:13] | Let’s get back to who Annie’s in love with. | 还是谈谈安妮爱上谁了吧 |
| [02:14] | – Is it fat Neil? – Blue Shrek? | -是胖胖尼尔吗 -蓝色史莱克 |
| [02:16] | Optimus prime? | 擎天柱 |
| [02:17] | Okay, even I know some of these are transformers. | 等等 连我都知道那里面有变形金刚 |
| [02:18] | Who cares who it is? Let’s just study. | 谁在乎那人是谁啊 我们还是学习吧 |
| [02:21] | Study what? We haven’t had our first class yet. | 学什么 我们一节课都没上呢 |
| [02:22] | Well, could we talk about something | 除了安妮的爱情生活 |
| [02:23] | other than Annie’s love life? | 就不能谈谈别的吗 |
| [02:24] | We could talk about my love life. | 我们可以谈谈我的爱情生活 |
| [02:27] | Is it Jean-Claude Van Overbite? | 是地包天版尚格云顿[著名打星]吗 |
| [02:29] | We should really start learning people’s names. | 我们真应该好好记住别人的名字 |
| [02:31] | 我同意棕色版吉米・李・柯蒂斯的话 I agree with brown Jamie Lee Curtis. | |
| [02:31] | 《真实的谎言》的女主角 | |
| [02:55] | 《废柴联盟》 | |
| [03:00] | Duncan’s late. | 邓肯迟到了 |
| [03:02] | I hope he didn’t drive his car into another marathon. | 希望他没有再一次把车开进马拉松赛道 |
| [03:05] | Shirley, how can you want to date your ex-husband | 雪瑞 在你前夫出轨之后 |
| [03:07] | – after what he did to you? – He apologized. | -你怎么还能跟他约会呢 -他道歉了 |
| [03:09] | Oh, he apologized. | 哦 道歉了 |
| [03:10] | Well, I guess that completely unbangs that stripper. | 我想他跟脱衣舞娘做爱也就没发生过了咯 |
| [03:13] | Well, forgive me for being forgiving. | 原谅我的宽容 |
| [03:15] | Oh, that’s right. You don’t know how. | 对了 你不懂什么是宽容 |
| [03:17] | I’m relieved Shirley is seeing her ex-husband | 雪瑞和她前夫约会 而不是昌 |
| [03:19] | and not Chang. | 我松了一口气 |
| [03:20] | Chang? Why would she be with Chang? | 昌 她为什么要和昌约会 |
| [03:22] | Why do I have to say everything I’m thinking? | 为什么我总是把想法说出来啊 |
| [03:24] | I wish my mouth was further away from my brain. | 真希望我的嘴离我的脑袋远一点 |
| [03:27] | I wish my brain had its own brain. | 希望我的脑袋有自己的脑袋 |
| [03:29] | I wish Chang hadn’t had sex with shirley. | 我希望昌没有和雪瑞发生关系 |
| [03:31] | What? When? | 什么 什么时候 |
| [03:33] | Where? | 在哪 |
| [03:35] | How? | 什么体位 |
| [03:36] | I can’t talk about it. | 我不能说 |
| [03:38] | Troy, I’m your roommate. | 特洛伊 我是你的室友 |
| [03:38] | I can keep a secret. | 我可以保守秘密 |
| [03:41] | Okay, remember that Halloween party | 好吧 记得那个我们都不记得的 |
| [03:43] | that none of us can remember? | 万圣节派对吗 |
| [03:44] | I don’t remember anything we can remember. | 我们能记住的事情我都记不住 |
| [03:46] | Well, Chang left me a message that night | 昌那晚给我留了语音短讯 |
| [03:47] | saying that they did it. | 说他们发生了关系 |
| [03:48] | But–but you can’t tell anybody. | 但是你不能告诉任何人 |
| [03:51] | You have my word as your roommate, | 作为你的室友 我在此 |
| [03:54] | and that is a bond I will never violate. | 立下牢不可破誓言 |
| [03:58] | You can’t tweet it either. | 你也不能发微博 |
| [03:59] | We never discussed new media. | 又没说不让使用新媒体 |
| [04:01] | Sorry all that stuff | 真是抱歉 |
| [04:02] | got dragged out about me having a crush on somebody. | 我喜欢某个人让大家这么纠结 |
| [04:05] | Why would you be sorry about that? | 这有什么可抱歉的 |
| [04:06] | You know. Awkward. | 比较尴尬嘛 |
| [04:09] | Annie, you don’t think I actually care, did you? | 安妮 你不会认为我在意这件事吧 |
| [04:11] | No, no, I just didn’t want you to think I thought you cared. | 不不 我只是不想让你认为我以为你在意 |
| [04:14] | Greetings, all and sundry, | 闲杂人等 大家好 |
| [04:15] | and welcome to your second semester of anthropology, | 欢迎来到第二学期的人类学课 |
| [04:18] | where it is about to get real. | 这次要动真格的了 |
| [04:21] | Now I forget where we left off last year. | 我不记得去年讲到哪里了 |
| [04:23] | – Fat Neil. – The bronze age. | -胖胖尼尔 -青铜器时代 |
| [04:25] | – Thank you, fat Neil. – Neil’s fine. | -多谢 胖胖尼尔 -叫我尼尔就行 |
| [04:27] | Not from an actuarial standpoint. | 那样不符合事实 |
| [04:29] | Now please forgive my lateness, | 请原谅我迟到了 |
| [04:31] | but I wasn’t sure how to find Greendale sober. | 清醒的状态下 我不太清楚怎么来学校 |
| [04:35] | Yes, you heard me right. | 是的 你们没听错 |
| [04:37] | I have stopped drinking. | 我戒酒了 |
| [04:40] | Mainly due to the fact that I could no longer get an erection. | 主要原因其实是因为我不能勃起了 |
| [04:43] | Now that I’m on the wagon, | 而鉴于现在我戒酒了 |
| [04:44] | you can expect both this class | 咱们的课程必将与我的二弟 |
| [04:46] | and my penis to be more focused and rewarding. | 一起并驾齐驱 雄风再起 欲罢不能 |
| [04:51] | Also, there’s gonna be more than one diorama. | 当然 大家要做的立体模型也会更多 |
| [04:54] | Lame! | 太没劲了 |
| [04:54] | – Boo. – I am so sorry. | -不给力 -真抱歉 |
| [04:57] | I train seeing-eye dogs, and today was graduation. | 我去训练导盲犬了 今天是毕业日 |
| [05:00] | I couldn’t leave without shaking all their little paws. | 我得跟他们握爪庆贺完才能离开 |
| [05:02] | Rich. | 里奇 |
| [05:04] | – Jeff. – Rich! | -杰夫 -里奇 |
| [05:06] | – Annie. – Annie? Rich? | -安妮 -安妮? 里奇? |
| [05:08] | You’re taking anthropology? | 你是来上人类学课的吗 |
| [05:10] | Well, you made it sound so fun. | 听你说挺好玩的样子 |
| [05:11] | We spent the holiday break | 放假时我们在一起 |
| [05:13] | dredging a river together. We found… | 清理河道 我们找到了 |
| [05:14] | A finger. Yeah. | 一截手指头 我懂 |
| [05:16] | It sounds gruesome, I know, | 可不是 说出来真�}人 |
| [05:17] | but I’m used to seeing that kind of thing, | 不过我可是见惯那玩意 |
| [05:19] | because I’m a doctor. | 因为在下的职业就是医生 |
| [05:24] | I can’t believe Rich actually enrolled in our class. | 真不敢相信里奇真的进咱们班了 |
| [05:27] | It means he likes me, right? | 这意味着他喜欢我 对不 |
| [05:28] | Why wouldn’t he, Annie? | 怎么可能不喜欢呢 安妮 |
| [05:30] | He is so sweet. | 他那么贴心 |
| [05:30] | Yeah, sweet and wise. | 是啊 又贴心又聪明 |
| [05:32] | He has lived such a long, full life. | 他的生命悠长而睿智 |
| [05:34] | How old is he again? | 再问一下他今年贵庚 |
| [05:36] | 30-something, I’m assuming. | 三十多岁吧 我猜 |
| [05:37] | He has a landline and uses the word “Album.” | 他有一部座机 还会用”专辑”这个词 |
| [05:39] | You guys don’t think he’s too old for me, do you? | 大家不会觉得他对我而言年纪过大吧 |
| [05:41] | – No. – Come on. | -不会啦 -拜托 |
| [05:43] | By that logic, | 照这么说 |
| [05:44] | I wouldn’t have a shot with anybody at this table. | 我跟这桌子上所有人都没戏 |
| [05:47] | Oh, speaking of creepy, | 讲到�}人 |
| [05:49] | Sober Duncan is worse than Drunk Duncan. | 清醒邓肯还不如酒鬼邓肯呢 |
| [05:51] | I think this class is about to get really hard. | 我认为这门课将变得很难很难 |
| [05:53] | I have an idea about that. | 我有个主意 |
| [05:54] | Rich is really smart, | 里奇相当的聪明 |
| [05:55] | and he knows a lot about anthropology. | 而且人类学方面 他可谓是通晓古今 |
| [05:57] | If we were to start studying with him, | 要是咱们和他一起学习 |
| [05:58] | I think it could help a lot. | 肯定会受益匪浅 |
| [05:59] | Plus, you know… | 再说 你们也知道啦 |
| [06:02] | Oh, you know what, though? | 对了 其实有个问题 |
| [06:04] | I just realized, | 我刚刚意识到 |
| [06:06] | so unfair to so many people. | 我们对其他人是多么不公平 |
| [06:08] | Right? Britta, you’re always talking about | 对吧 布雷塔 你一直念叨着 |
| [06:09] | how it’s weird we have | 小组里没有拉美裔的成员 |
| [06:11] | no one of Latin descent in our group. – Si. | -是多么的别扭 -木错 |
| [06:13] | And, Pierce, you’re always looking for | 还有 皮尔斯 你不也一直在寻求 |
| [06:14] | someone old enough to | 一位足够年长的人帮忙认清 |
| [06:16] | find your racism subversive. | 你自身的种族歧视叛逆性吗 |
| [06:17] | I could go on and on. | 我还可以列出很多问题 |
| [06:19] | It is a process. | 这是一个过程 |
| [06:21] | It takes time. | 需要一定的时间 |
| [06:22] | Well, then I say we gather all the candidates | 那我建议咱们把所有的候选人都召集起来 |
| [06:24] | and make an informed, democratic decision. | 然后进行广泛而民主的决定吧 |
| [06:27] | We can have a little mixer | 我们可以举办一个小型的交流会 |
| [06:28] | and invite the people we’re submitting for consideration. | 然后把我们推荐的人都邀请过来 |
| [06:31] | – All in favor of tonight? – Oh, I am. | -都赞成今晚吧 -我同意 |
| [06:33] | Thank you. I’m finished. | 劳驾 我[吃]完了 |
| [06:34] | No, I’d say you got about two more good years. | 不会 要我说你至少还有两年可蹦�Q呢 |
| [06:38] | Oh, everyone, | 大家伙儿 |
| [06:40] | this is Andre, my ex-husband and boyfriend. | 这是安德烈 我的前夫兼男朋友 |
| [06:42] | He came to spend the day with me. | 他是过来陪我的 |
| [06:44] | Hey, nice to meet you guys. | 嘿 见到你们很高兴 |
| [06:45] | You know, I’ve heard a lot about every last one of you. | 话说 你们所有人的事我都听过很多 |
| [06:48] | We haven’t heard a lot about you or what you’ve done or with who. | 我们对你 你干过什么以及和谁干的是一无所知 |
| [06:51] | Well, I hope you give me a chance to make up | 那我希望你们能给我一个机会 |
| [06:54] | for everything you haven’t heard about me. | 来弥补你们对我一无所知的遗憾 |
| [06:56] | Hey, how about a round of soft serve on me? | 要不这一轮的饮料我请客 怎么样 |
| [07:02] | Shirley, I’ve been fed a lot of | 雪瑞 很多男人对我 |
| [07:04] | soft serve by a lot of guys. | 献过不少殷勤 |
| [07:05] | Sometimes it’s rent money, | 有时是帮我出房租 |
| [07:06] | sometimes it’s Chili Peppers tickets. | 有时是红辣椒乐队的演唱票 |
| [07:08] | And, yeah, I’ll admit it, | 还有 我承认 |
| [07:09] | one time it was a gym bag full of nickels, | 有一次是一运动包的五分钱 |
| [07:12] | but it never lasts, and they never change. | 可好景都不长 男人的劣根性是不会变的 |
| [07:14] | Britta, I’m a grown-ass woman, and I made my decision. | 布雷塔 我乃熟女一枚 且决心已定 |
| [07:17] | But how do you know it’s the right one? | 你又如何得知自己的决定是正确的呢 |
| [07:18] | Because I’m pregnant, okay? | 因为我怀孕了 可以了吧 |
| [07:24] | I was going to wait to share my exciting news, | 我本打算等待时机宣布有喜 |
| [07:27] | but I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you | 看来现在就是最佳时分 |
| [07:29] | that I am eight weeks along. | 我怀孕已经有八周了 |
| [07:31] | Which is a little surprising. | 就算给大家一点小惊喜吧 |
| [07:34] | Halloween. | 万圣节 |
| [07:35] | – What? – No thing. | -啥 -没啥 |
| [07:40] | Thanks for coming, fellow anthropology students. | 欢迎光临 人类学课的同学们 |
| [07:43] | For the first semester, | 上个学期 |
| [07:44] | you knew us as “That study group.” | 在你们眼里我们是”某学习小组” |
| [07:47] | But, tonight, we want to get to know you. | 但是 今晚 我们有意了解你们 |
| [07:49] | Please forgive the spread. | 抱歉没有什么美食 |
| [07:50] | The vending machines haven’t been restocked | 自动售卖机从寒假前 |
| [07:51] | since before winter break. | 就没再补过货 |
| [07:53] | So help yourselves to tropical skittles, | 所以请随便享用彩虹糖 |
| [07:55] | cigarettes, or mouthwash. | 香烟 或是漱口水 |
| [07:57] | And have a good time. | 大家 吃好喝好玩好 |
| [08:02] | Okay, so I have to figure out if Shirley did it | 好 我得查明雪瑞在万圣节后 |
| [08:05] | with her ex-husband the week after Halloween. | 究竟有没有跟她前夫做过 |
| [08:08] | How are you gonna do that? | 你怎么查 |
| [08:10] | I got moves. | 哥有绝招 |
| [08:12] | So…bun in the oven. | 话说 恭喜要当爹了哈 |
| [08:14] | Guess it’s no surprise after working on it all this time. | 我猜你们一直都在努力也算是得偿所愿吧 |
| [08:17] | Well, I wouldn’t quite say working on it. | 也不能说是一直在努力 |
| [08:18] | Just kind of happens, you know. | 算是偶发事件吧 |
| [08:19] | Oh, yeah, I do. | 哦 我懂了 |
| [08:21] | Especially when the season’s right. | 尤其是季节对口的时候 |
| [08:23] | Dead leaves, pumpkins everywhere– | 落叶纷纷 南瓜遍地 |
| [08:26] | Nature’s viagra. Right? | 大自然就是催情伟哥啊 对吧 |
| [08:28] | I guess. | 或许吧 |
| [08:29] | And then when all the pumpkins | 然后所有的南瓜 |
| [08:30] | just start to rot, | 都开始腐败 |
| [08:32] | and all the children have removed their outfits | 孩子们都脱下了万圣节戏装 |
| [08:35] | because they’ve already gotten their candy… | 因为他们已经得到自己的”甜头”了 |
| [08:41] | I’m gonna go talk to some other people, all right? | 我还是跟别人聊天去好了 |
| [08:49] | – So? – His mind is like a fortress. | -怎么样 -那人就是个榆木脑袋 |
| [08:52] | Why don’t we just tell Shirley, | 我们干吗不干脆跟雪瑞摊牌呢 |
| [08:53] | “Hey, look, you slept with chang”? | “话说 你是不是跟昌睡过了” |
| [08:55] | Let her deal with it. | 看她怎么反应 |
| [08:56] | Pierce, if someone had sex with Chang, | 皮尔斯 如果有人跟昌上床后 |
| [08:58] | and they get to not remember that happened, | 居然可以完全忘记此事 |
| [09:00] | that’s a gift from god. | 此乃上天的恩赐 |
| [09:01] | I’m not taking that away from her without a good reason. | 在没有充分理由之前我是不会去刺激她的 |
| [09:03] | Well, here’s a good reason. | 我有一个充分的理由 |
| [09:04] | You ever go to the bathroom and find parsley in your teeth | 你是否曾在洗手间发现自己牙缝里塞着芹菜 |
| [09:06] | that your friends hadn’t told you about? | 而之前你的朋友们却根本没提醒过你 |
| [09:09] | Now imagine your teeth are a uterus | 现在把你的牙齿想象成一个子宫 |
| [09:11] | and that parsley is a half-chinese baby. | 而那片芹菜就是个半华裔的婴儿 |
| [09:14] | Hey, guys. | 大家好 |
| [09:14] | I want you to meet someone. | 我想为你们介绍一个人 |
| [09:16] | My name is Quendra, | 我叫昆德拉 |
| [09:18] | and I spell it with a Q-u. | 开头字母是Qu哦 |
| [09:19] | She’s thinking about taking anthropology. | 她想来上人类学课 |
| [09:22] | So maybe she would make a nice addition or two | 所以她可能会加入甚至再带位靓女加入 |
| [09:24] | to our study group. Something to consider. | 咱们学习小组 值得考虑吧 |
| [09:27] | Are you Abed? | 你是阿布蒂吧 |
| [09:28] | I love Star Wars. | 我也是星战迷哦 |
| [09:30] | – That’s Troy. – I love footballs. | -他是特洛伊 -我也喜欢橄榄球哦 |
| [09:32] | Jeff, we’re dealing with heavier things right now | 杰夫 我们有更重要的事要办 |
| [09:34] | than your shameless lobbying. | 没工夫听你无耻的屁话 |
| [09:36] | Rich brought kettle corn! | 里奇带了爆米花 |
| [09:38] | kettle corn! That’s a fun-time snack. | 爆米花好东西啊 欢乐时光激情共享 |
| [09:40] | – oh, looks great. – I make it in my garage. | -看起来很棒 -我在车库里DIY的 |
| [09:43] | I’ll take some of that. | 我一定要尝尝 |
| [09:46] | I spell kettle corn with a q-u. | 我拼”爆米花”是qu开头 |
| [09:48] | Well, don’t. | 这招省省吧 |
| [09:49] | What is this? What’s going on? | 这是干什么 怎么个情况 |
| [09:51] | It’s a mixer. | 这是个小型的交流会 |
| [09:52] | Why is everyone from anthro class here? | 为什么人类学课的学生都在 |
| [09:54] | Are you guys picking a new study group member? | 学习小组在招新人是吗 |
| [09:57] | And you didn’t invite me? | 你们居然没邀请我 |
| [09:58] | We didn’t know how to reach you. | 我们联系不到你 |
| [09:59] | What are you talking about? I’m everywhere. | 开什么国际玩笑 我明明无处不在 |
| [10:02] | We didn’t know how to reach you. | 我们联系不到你 |
| [10:03] | That’s not a true. That’s a lie. | 这不是事实 你在撒谎 |
| [10:06] | It’s a mixer. We didn’t know how to reach you. | 就是个小型交流会 我们联系不到你 |
| [10:07] | It’s a mixer. It’s a mixer. It’s a mixer. | 是个交流会 是个交流会 是个交流会 |
| [10:09] | It’s a mixer. It’s a mixer. | 是个交流会 是个交流会 |
| [10:13] | Works every time. | 百试不爽 |
| [10:17] | $50? What a pig. | 50块就想上我 真是色猪 |
| [10:26] | Jeff, I think we should vote now. | 杰夫 我觉得是时候投票了 |
| [10:29] | Most people left after we ran out of skittles, | 彩虹糖一吃完 人就走得差不多了 |
| [10:31] | And, come on, it’s pretty obvious | 再说 显而易见 |
| [10:32] | Rich is the best candidate. | 里奇才是最佳人选 |
| [10:33] | Yeah. Looks like he’s our guy. | 说得有理 看来该收他入伙 |
| [10:35] | I’ll be right there. | 我马上就来 |
| [10:38] | This can’t be happening. | 这事绝不能成 |
| [10:40] | I agree. | 英雄所见略同 |
| [10:46] | You can’t talk and then do a slow clap. | 能不能不要自己说话自己鼓掌 |
| [10:47] | You don’t know that. | 轮不到你告诉我不要做什么 |
| [10:49] | But I know this. | 让我来告诉你 你要做什么 |
| [10:50] | Unless you want a front row seat to Annie loves Richie, | 除非你想眼看着安妮和小里奇出双入对 |
| [10:54] | It’s time to chang your point of view. | 不然就别墨守”昌”规 |
| [10:57] | It’s not even clever. | 这双关一点算不上巧妙 |
| [10:58] | You keep using it as the word change. | 就你还故意总把”成”说成”昌” |
| [11:03] | Okay. Okay. | 好吧 败给你了 |
| [11:05] | Okay. Just do me a favor. | 帮我个忙 |
| [11:09] | Let me do all the talking and follow my lead. | 我来做说客 你一切行动听指挥 |
| [11:11] | – Deal. – Okay. | -成交 -好的 |
| [11:15] | Seriously, do you have brain damage? | 说认真的 您脑残吗 |
| [11:16] | Rich is also board-certified in pediatrics, | 里奇还是有执照的儿科医生 |
| [11:18] | And, once a month, he flies down to volunteer | 另外 他每月都要乘班机 |
| [11:21] | in the rain forest, fixing children’s cleft palates. | 赶往热带雨林 义务为孩子们治疗腭裂 |
| [11:23] | And teaching them acoustic guitar. | 教他们弹原声吉他 |
| [11:25] | Other than that, | 除此之外 |
| [11:26] | Well, his kettle corn speaks for itself. | “米”香不怕巷子深 |
| [11:29] | I couldn’t agree more. | 举双脚同意 |
| [11:30] | It looks like this is an open-and-shut case. | 看来此案胜负已定 |
| [11:32] | Did someone say case? | 有人提”案”了吗 |
| [11:34] | Because I haven’t made mine yet. | 我这里还有个案子没了结 |
| [11:36] | What? What’s your case? | 什么啊 你还有什么案子 |
| [11:38] | 本・昌就是我的案子 Ben Chang is my case. | |
| [11:41] | You can’t be serious. | 你不是来认真的吧 |
| [11:42] | Oh, I’m serious, baby. | 哦 我认真得很呢 宝贝 |
| [11:43] | I am yahoo serious. | 我是”认真”的宗师 |
| [11:45] | I’m serious F.M. | 我是”认真”的代言人 |
| [11:46] | Welcome to the world serious of seriousness, | 欢迎来到严肃认真新世界 |
| [11:48] | Sponsored by honey nut serios. | 由严肃无辜小毒舌一手打造 |
| [11:50] | Are you stalling right now? | 你在拖延时间吗 |
| [11:51] | Stalling? | 拖延时间 |
| [11:55] | Stalling? | 我拖延时间 |
| [11:56] | No, Annie, in fact, you’re gonna wish | 等我舌战群柴之后 你会巴不得 |
| [11:58] | I was stalling– oh, I just got it. Thank you. | 我只是想拖延时间… 请闪人 |
| [12:03] | I want to say some names to you. | 我想向你们提几个名字 |
| [12:06] | 杰弗里・达默[美国连环杀手 臭名昭著] Jeffrey Dahmer. | |
| [12:08] | 泰德・邦迪[美国连环杀手 专门奸杀女性] Ted Bundy. | |
| [12:11] | Rich. | 还有里奇 |
| [12:12] | What do they have in common? | 他们身上有什么共同点呢 |
| [12:15] | We don’t know them very well. | 共同点就是 我们对他们所知甚少 |
| [12:18] | 关于本・昌 我们知道些什么呢 What do we know about Ben Chang? | |
| [12:21] | – We know he’s nuts. – Let him finish! | -我们知道他神叨叨 -让他说完 |
| [12:23] | We know he’s dangerous, unpredictable, selfish. | 我们知道他极度危险 喜怒无常 自私自利 |
| [12:26] | We know he uses his name to make bad puns. | 我们知道 他喜欢用自己的名字玩双关 |
| [12:28] | Guilty as changed. | 以”昌”代”成” |
| [12:30] | When he talks, he over and underemphasizes words | 他说话时颠三倒四 |
| [12:33] | seemingly at random. | 遣词造句 毫无章法 |
| [12:34] | When he eats, he holds his fork | 他吃饭时 总是扬起手中的叉子 |
| [12:36] | like a murderer’s knife, | 好似杀人凶手紧握屠刀 |
| [12:38] | Gnawing at its skewered payload like a deranged woodland rodent. | 总是啃烤串的竹签 好似林间精神错乱的啮齿动物 |
| [12:42] | Bring it home! | 注意听重点 |
| [12:43] | We know he smells like band-aids. | 我们知道 他闻起来活像创可贴 |
| [12:44] | We know he dresses like a Cuban cab driver. | 我们知道 他的穿衣品味堪比古巴出租司机 |
| [12:47] | We know he exhibits, nay, flaunts proudly | 我们知道 他总是虚荣爱现 不 耀武扬威才对 |
| [12:50] | Obvious symptoms of over half a dozen disorders | 身被超过半打的精神失调症候 |
| [12:53] | You wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy’s pets. | 连仇敌的走狗罹患这些 你都会心有不忍 |
| [12:55] | Feel the heat! | 感受这股热情吧 |
| [12:57] | 我们对本・昌的了解如此之深 We know these things about Ben Chang. | |
| [13:00] | And so much more than we ever wanted to know about him. | 远超我们内心的预期 |
| [13:03] | Why? | 为什么呢 |
| [13:06] | Because it’s there. | 因为这些特质一目了然 |
| [13:07] | It’s on the surface. | 因为他表里如一 |
| [13:09] | What you see may be what you don’t want, | 所见非所愿 |
| [13:12] | But it’s also what you get. | 但所见即所得 |
| [13:17] | Wow. | 神呐 |
| [13:19] | Who is this kettle-corn-popping phantom? | 这个爆得一手好米花的魅影 究竟是谁 |
| [13:22] | This human question mark? | 这个天生的谜题 究竟是谁 |
| [13:23] | This number eight scoop of vanilla tapioca | 这个香草木薯小甜品 |
| [13:26] | with a Ph.D in being swell | “虚荣自大”学博士 |
| [13:28] | and a master’s in “Everybody loves me”? | “人见人爱”学硕士 |
| [13:31] | Who is it? | 究竟是谁 |
| [13:35] | We may never know. | 我们可能永不得其解 |
| [13:38] | I only know one thing. | 我只知道 |
| [13:42] | Nobody is this good a person. | 没有人能够如斯之完美 |
| [13:46] | And nobody can get any worse | 但也没有人 |
| [13:49] | than this. | 能够比他更糟糕 |
| [13:55] | Now. | 可以鼓掌了 |
| [14:03] | 谁投票给本・昌? Who’s voting for chang? | |
| [14:07] | Who’s voting for rich? | 谁投票给里奇? |
| [14:13] | – Shirley. – Wow, what you gonna do, baby? | -雪瑞 -你打算怎么做 |
| [14:15] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
| [14:18] | Shirley, this is the best kettle corn I’ve ever had. | 雪瑞 这爆米花可是前无古人后无来者 |
| [14:21] | If you don’t vote for Rich, | 如果你不把票投给里奇 |
| [14:23] | I’ll shatter your world. | 我必定要灭了你 |
| [14:25] | You’re gonna what? | 你必定要神马? |
| [14:25] | I’ll shatter your world. | 我必定要灭了你 |
| [14:27] | I heard you. I vote for Chang. | 知道了 我把票投给昌 |
| [14:29] | – Yes! – Yes! In your face! | -好耶 -好耶 大获全胜 |
| [14:31] | – No! – Yes! | -不! -好耶 |
| [14:33] | No! | 不! |
| [14:35] | Chang and Shirley had sex on halloween. | 昌和雪瑞在万圣节之夜上过床 |
| [14:38] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:39] | – What? – You may be pregnant | -什么 -你怀的孩子 |
| [14:40] | – with his baby. – No. No, no, no, no. Mm-mm. | -可能是他的 -不 不 不可能 |
| [14:44] | Pierce! | 皮尔斯 |
| [14:46] | She crossed me. | 谁让她不甩我 |
| [14:47] | Is that why you were subtly interrogating me about my sexual activity? | 所以你才挖空心思刺探我的性生活 对吗 |
| [14:51] | – Troy? – Chang left me a voice mail | -特洛伊 -昌在万圣节 |
| [14:53] | On halloween to say that you two did it. | 给我发过一条语音信息 坦白了一切 |
| [14:57] | I could hear you in the background. | 我都能在背景音里听到你 |
| [14:59] | Shirley, what is he talking about? | 雪瑞 他在说什么啊 |
| [15:01] | I don’t remember that night. | 我记不起那晚的事了 |
| [15:03] | Nobody remembers anything. | 谁都不记得发生了什么 |
| [15:04] | Oh, now I understand these photos. | 我终于看懂这些照片了 |
| [15:09] | Do you mind if I forward these to my brother? | 我可以转发给我哥吗 |
| [15:11] | Oh! I want this man out of here. | 快把这男的赶出去 |
| [15:13] | Well, you just voted him in, so– | 鉴于你刚刚把票投给了他 所以 |
| [15:15] | What is wrong with you? | 你怎么回事儿啊 |
| [15:16] | Shirley is in crisis. | 雪瑞遇上麻烦了 |
| [15:18] | This isn’t silly anymore. | 现在这一点都不好笑了 |
| [15:19] | I don’t understand. | 我不明白 |
| [15:21] | Just–just wait, baby. | 宝贝 你别心急 |
| [15:22] | I don’t understand either, but we can work this out. | 我也不明白 但我们会度过这个难关 |
| [15:24] | We’ll figure it out. | 会过去的 |
| [15:29] | Andre, no. | 安德烈 不要 |
| [15:33] | I think that this is a good time to go. | 我想现在该我走啦 |
| [15:36] | – Rich! – Rich! | -里奇 -里奇 |
| [15:37] | – No! – No! | -别走 -别走啊 |
| [15:42] | 这下你心满意足了吧 杰夫・翁格 You finally did it, Jeff Winger. | |
| [15:45] | You finally hurt this group in a way that’ll never heal. | 你终于给这个小组造成了无法治愈的伤痕 |
| [15:50] | Kettle corn! | 小玉米 |
| [15:57] | There you are. | 找到你了 |
| [15:59] | Can you please explain to me | 你能不能给我解释下 |
| [16:00] | what the hell you’ve been doing? | 你这种行为是怎么回事儿 |
| [16:01] | Well, Annie, when a man | 安妮 当一个男人 |
| [16:03] | loves food and beverages very much | 热爱食物也常常喝水的话 |
| [16:05] | and they pass through his system, | 这些东西会在他体内流转 |
| [16:07] | – They make– – I’m not in the mood, Jeff. | -产生 -没心情听你扯 杰夫 |
| [16:08] | Explain your behavior with Rich today. | 解释下你今天对里奇的所作所为 |
| [16:11] | Sorry, not everyone is as in love | 抱歉 不是每个人都像你一样 |
| [16:12] | with dr. Do-no-wrong as you are. | 拜倒在好好医生的西装裤下 |
| [16:15] | And don’t say it’s because I’m jealous of him being with you. | 别说我是因为嫉妒他和你在一起 |
| [16:17] | Oh, come on, Jeff! | 拜托你 杰夫 |
| [16:19] | I’m sick of this. | 我受够了 |
| [16:20] | One minute, I’m too young to date. | 前一秒 我还太小不能约会 |
| [16:22] | The next, you’re trying to get rid of guys I like. | 后一秒 你就开始孤立我喜欢的人 |
| [16:24] | Either you want me or you don’t. | 要么是你喜欢我要么不是 |
| [16:26] | What’s it gonna be? | 到底是喜欢还是不喜欢 |
| [16:27] | I wish I could give you an answer that makes sense, | 我也希望能给你一个说得过去的答案 |
| [16:28] | but relationships are complicated, | 但是感情是个复杂的问题 |
| [16:31] | and we’re in the men’s room. | 况且咱俩还是在男洗手间 |
| [16:33] | Fine. Well, I’m gonna ask Rich out. | 好吧 我会约里奇的 |
| [16:36] | Nothing complicated about that. | 这事儿可没什么复杂的 |
| [16:42] | – There you are. – Did I walk into the wrong bathroom? | -你在这儿 -是我走错洗手间了吗 |
| [16:44] | You have to find Andre and talk to him. | 你必须找到安德烈 跟他谈谈 |
| [16:46] | Shirley is devastated. | 雪瑞现在伤心欲绝 |
| [16:47] | Since when do you want him back in her life? | 你什么时候开始希望他回到她身边了 |
| [16:49] | I don’t deny that I’m not a fan of the guy, | 我不否认自己不太喜欢那个男人 |
| [16:51] | But I’m a fan of Shirley, | 但是我喜欢雪瑞 |
| [16:52] | And this is what she wants. | 而这是她想要的 |
| [17:03] | There you are. | 给你 |
| [17:11] | Mezzanine? | 戏院最底层? |
| [17:19] | Nice sweater. | 毛衣不错 |
| [17:21] | My dad gave it to me. | 我爸给我的 |
| [17:24] | – So, um– – Look, I’m not mad at Shirley. | -这个 -听着 我不是生雪瑞的气 |
| [17:28] | You’re not? | 你不生她的气 |
| [17:29] | No. I’m mad at myself. | 不 我只是生我自己的气 |
| [17:32] | You know, if I hadn’t left her like I did, | 如果我没有像之前那样离开她 |
| [17:34] | then none of this would have happened. | 那这些麻烦都不会发生了 |
| [17:37] | You ever have something that you didn’t truly appreciate | 你是不是也有什么东西 直到失去之后 |
| [17:39] | until you didn’t have it anymore? | 才开始感觉珍惜 |
| [17:41] | Oh, yeah. Keristina. | 有啊 凯利斯蒂娜 |
| [17:45] | Old girlfriend? | 前女友吗 |
| [17:45] | Almond facial scrub. | 杏树油洁面膏 |
| [17:47] | They only make it in Finland. | 只在芬兰有卖 |
| [17:49] | The old me would have been long gone by now. | 过去的我遇上这种事肯定扭头就走 |
| [17:53] | I didn’t think I could ever change, | 我可觉得自己不会变 |
| [17:54] | But I’m gonna tell you, the love of a good woman | 但我得告诉你 一个好女人的爱 |
| [17:56] | makes anything possible. | 会把一切都变得可能 |
| [18:01] | Well, it looks like I’m gonna be a daddy again. | 看来我又要做爸爸了 |
| [18:03] | Yeah, but– | 是 但是 |
| [18:05] | Doesn’t matter who the baby’s father is. | 孩子的父亲是谁并不重要 |
| [18:07] | I’m in it for the long haul. | 我追求的是天长地久 |
| [18:09] | And if it’s mine, | 如果是我的孩子 |
| [18:11] | It’s gonna be a great football player. | 他会是个出色的橄榄球球员 |
| [18:13] | And if it’s Chang’s, | 如果是昌的 |
| [18:16] | We’ll go for golf. | 就试下高尔夫吧 |
| [18:26] | – Hey. – Hey. | -嗨 -嗨 |
| [18:30] | Annie just texted me. | 安妮刚给我发短信了 |
| [18:31] | She asked Rich out. | 她约里奇了 |
| [18:34] | Cool. | 好吧 |
| [18:35] | He said no. | 但他拒绝了 |
| [18:37] | He said she’s great but too young. | 他说她很棒 但是太年轻了 |
| [19:12] | Don’t say anything until I’ve said what I’ve got to say. | 什么也别说 先听我把话说完 |
| [19:16] | I’ve known you for almost two years now, | 我认识你已经有两年了 |
| [19:18] | And I’ve never taken you as seriously as I should have. | 我本应该对你认真相待的 但我没有 |
| [19:22] | You are the strangest, coolest, most genuine person | 你是我见过的最奇特 最酷 最真诚的人 |
| [19:27] | I’ve ever met, and the thing that scares me | 而你最让我害怕的是 |
| [19:31] | about you is how good you make me wish I was. | 你让我希望自己能变得那么好 |
| [19:36] | Help me, Rich. | 帮帮我吧 里奇 |
| [19:38] | Help me become like you. | 帮我变得像你一样 |
| [19:40] | I mean, | 我是说 |
| [19:42] | I am so amazing. | 我不是一般的厉害 |
| [19:46] | But I’m not perfect. | 但我并不完美 |
| [19:50] | You are. | 你是完美的 |
| [19:52] | Give me that power. | 赐予我那种力量吧 |
| [19:55] | So I can abuse it. | 然后我就可以四处挥霍了 |
| [19:58] | Jeff, you are one funny bunny. | 杰夫 你真是个可爱的小伙子 |
| [20:01] | You can’t just fake being good | 你不能靠扮优秀 |
| [20:03] | in order to get away with doing bad things. | 来逃避做坏事的后果啊 |
| [20:04] | Oh, I completely understand. | 这我都明白 |
| [20:07] | And do you understand that I still have to try? | 但你懂吗 无论如何我都要试一下 |
| [20:11] | And if you don’t help me, | 如果你不帮我的话 |
| [20:14] | you’re a bad person. | 那你就是坏人 |
| [20:17] | You got me there, guy. | 你找到我的软肋了 |
| [20:19] | Come on in and dry off. | 快进来擦擦干吧 |
| [20:22] | Oh, it smells delicious. Are you baking? | 闻着真香啊 你在烤东西吗 |
| [20:25] | Yeah, muffin tops. | 是啊 小松糕 |
| [20:30] | And we’re back. Today, we’ll show you | 欢迎回来 今天我们和里奇医生一起 |
| [20:31] | how to make homemade kettle corn with dr. Rich. | 教您如何在家里制作爆米花 |
| [20:33] | Rich, how do I get one of those giant spoons? | 里奇 这种大勺子哪里有卖呢 |
| [20:35] | Well, actually, I carved this one myself | 其实这是我自己雕的 |
| [20:38] | after lightning struck an oak tree in my backyard. | 闪电把我后院的一棵橡树给劈了 |
| [20:40] | And then I made my nephew a rocking horse. | 我还给侄子做了个摇摇木马 |
| [20:43] | – That’s adorable. – It smells heavenly. | -你太好了 -闻着好香啊 |
| [20:45] | Dr. Rich, what sets your kettle corn apart? | 里奇医生 你的爆米花有什么秘诀吗 |
| [20:47] | Well, it’s a secret ingredient– | 有一项秘密调料哦 |
| [20:49] | a couple extra pinches of love. | 搁了几撮爱呢 |
| [20:50] | Oh, you can’t beat that. | 这可是天下独一家啊 |
| [20:52] | – It feels good. – Not this again. | -感觉很不错 -不会又是这个吧 |
| [20:53] | Rich, you know they’re doing a fake morning show? | 里奇 你知道他们的早间秀是假的吧 |
| [20:57] | There are no cameras. | 没有摄像头 |
| [20:58] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [20:59] | It’s just a fun way to start the day. | 这样开始一天挺好玩的啊 |
| [21:01] | So grab a paddle, partner, | 来掺和一手吧 兄弟 |
| [21:03] | And hop on in here. | 参与我们一下 |
| [21:04] | You know what, that does sound… | 你知道吗 听起来是挺 |
| [21:06] | Yeah. | 好吧 |
| [21:09] | Troy and abed in the morning | 特洛伊和阿布蒂的早间秀 |