| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | 杰夫瑞・翁格 | 格林德尔社区大学 学生课程时间表 |
| [00:11] | Agnes, cancel my appointments. | 安格斯 取消我的预约 |
| [00:13] | What appointments? | 你什么时候有过预约 |
| [00:16] | Wishful thinking. | 人家假象一下嘛 |
| [00:18] | It’s called alternative energy, | 这叫做替代能源 |
| [00:20] | The key to a brighter tomorrow. | 开启光明未来的钥匙 |
| [00:29] | Notice all the animals wearing sunglasses. | 注意动物都戴了墨镜 |
| [00:31] | Because it’s a brighter tomorrow. | 因为未来相当光明 |
| [00:33] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [00:36] | My boys are in elementary school. | 我家孩子上小学 |
| [00:37] | They don’t make nearly as many dioramas as we do. | 他们做立体模型都没有咱们做得多 |
| [00:40] | The whole environmental club is making them for green week. | 环保社团倾巢出动做的 献给”绿色周” |
| [00:42] | And this afternoon in the cafeteria, | 今天下午在食堂 |
| [00:43] | we’re having a bio-diorama-rama. | 我们要举行生物立体模型展 |
| [00:45] | I heard one kid made a diorama | 我听说一个小孩制作了 |
| [00:47] | about a world without dioramas. | 一个平面世界的立体模型 |
| [00:50] | It’s still cool if I sleep at your place tonight, right? | 今晚还去你那睡 没问题吧 |
| [00:52] | Totally. Hey, since we’re both done with classes, | 绝对没问题 既然咱俩课都修完了 |
| [00:55] | – we can start the sleepover now. – Let’s get in our pajamas | -我们可以搞通宵派对 -我们穿睡衣 |
| [00:57] | – and build a blanket fort. – Let’s do it. | -搭一个毯子城堡吧 -就这么定了 |
| [00:58] | A blanket fort. Wow! | 毯子城堡 厉害 |
| [01:01] | You can come hang out in it with us later if you want. | 如果你们愿意 一会儿可以来城堡里面一起玩 |
| [01:02] | Uh, thanks, but I think I’ll find something | 谢了 但是我还是找点 |
| [01:04] | – more grown-up to do. – Hmm. Okay. | -成年人活动吧 -好吧 |
| [01:07] | Enjoy eating fiber and watching The Mentalist. | 祝你粗纤维配《超感神探》愉快 |
| [01:10] | Britta, that wasn’t nice. | 布雷塔 刚刚那样可不友善 |
| [01:11] | I’m sorry, Shirley, but who wants to hang out | 抱歉 雪瑞 可是谁想和一群穿着紧身 |
| [01:13] | in a blanket fort with grown men in tiny underoos? | 卡通睡衣的大男人在毯子城堡混在一起 |
| [01:16] | Hello! So… Jeffrey, | 大家好 杰夫瑞 |
| [01:19] | I was just looking over your class schedule. | 我在查看你的课程时间表 |
| [01:21] | – Why? – Uh… | -为什么 -那个… |
| [01:23] | Maybe it was a random spot-check. | 也许是随机性抽查 |
| [01:24] | Maybe it was a specific spot-check. | 也许是针对性抽查 |
| [01:27] | Maybe I’m making a scrapbook. | 也许我是在做剪贴簿 |
| [01:29] | The point is | 问题在于 |
| [01:30] | you will not be receiving credit for your independent study: | 你的自学内容是不能计入学分 |
| [01:34] | Conspiracy theories in U.S. History. | 美国历史的阴谋理论 |
| [01:37] | What? Why not? | 什么 为什么不行 |
| [01:38] | Because the class doesn’t exist. | 因为那门课根本就不存在 |
| [01:40] | And neither does the teacher– Professor Professorson? | 这位老师也不存在 叫兽森教授 |
| [01:43] | What? That’s his name! | 有什么不妥 那就是他名字啊 |
| [01:45] | – Oh… – It’s dutch. | -拜托 -那是荷兰语 |
| [01:46] | – I think it means professor. – I think it means poppycock. | -估计是教授的意思吧 -叫兽你个孔雀毛 |
| [01:49] | 杰夫・翁格的终极偷懒课 The ultimate Jeff Winger blow-off class: | |
| [01:52] | The one that doesn’t exist. | 无中生有课 |
| [01:54] | Now I have to audit an entire system for shenanigans, | 现在我要对整个系统进行排查 以防这种诡计 |
| [01:57] | Which means… bye-bye weekends. | 也就意味着…周末泡汤了 |
| [02:00] | Bye-bye writing at starbucks | 也别想喝喝咖啡码码字了 |
| [02:01] | till a certain persian barista asks me about my novel. | 坐等波斯服务生搭讪都没戏了 |
| [02:04] | God, Jeff! | 老天 杰夫 |
| [02:05] | It’s one thing to blow off regular classes, | 在普通课上偷偷懒也就忍了 |
| [02:07] | but this devalues all the credits I work very hard for. | 但你这样让辛苦赚学分的我情何以堪啊 |
| [02:10] | – Mm-hmm. – Can I defend myself | -是啊 -我能为自己辩护 |
| [02:11] | and say this is nuts? | 说这根本就是胡扯吗 |
| [02:13] | I’ve been meeting with this professor | 这个学期我每周三 |
| [02:14] | in his office every wednesday all semester. | 都在他办公室和他会面 |
| [02:17] | Professor Professorson. | 叫兽森教授 |
| [02:19] | – Yes! – Really? | -是啊 -不是吧你 |
| [02:21] | You’re gonna commit to this? | 你要坚持这种说法吗 |
| [02:22] | Commit to what–reality? | 坚持什么 事实吗 |
| [02:23] | Okay, then, please… lead me | 好吧 请你带路 |
| [02:26] | – to Professor Professorson. – Gladly. | -去找叫兽森教授 -很乐意 |
| [02:28] | – This I gotta see. – I have always dreamt | -我得跟去瞧瞧 -我经常梦见 |
| [02:30] | of playing charades with you, Jeffrey– | 和你玩猜字游戏 杰夫瑞 |
| [02:32] | Just not like this, not on dry land. | 不过梦里可比这湿意多了 |
| [02:57] | 《废柴联盟》 | |
| [03:06] | Oh, man! | 老天啊 |
| [03:18] | You thinking what I’m thinking? | 你想的跟我一样吗 |
| [03:21] | We’re too big for this, aren’t we? | 一把年纪玩这个不合适了? |
| [03:22] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [03:24] | But if we went two pillows higher in the corner, | 但如果我们在角落再搭高两个枕头 |
| [03:26] | we could vault the ceiling… | 我们就可以加高顶棚 |
| [03:27] | Bump up the square footage. | 增加建筑面积 |
| [03:29] | Make this a blanket fort for men. | 就成了熟男城堡了 |
| [03:38] | Well, here we are. | 好了 到了 |
| [03:40] | Professor Professorson’s office. | 叫兽森教授的办公室 |
| [03:52] | I don’t know what’s goin’ on. | 我不知道怎么回事 |
| [03:53] | You guys have to believe me. | 你们得相信我 |
| [03:54] | I have spent a whole year studying conspiracy theories | 我和叫兽森教授在这里 |
| [03:57] | with professor professorson right here! | 学了整整一年的阴谋理论 |
| [03:59] | Wait! Of course! | 等等 我明白了 |
| [04:02] | Conspiracy theories. | 阴谋理论 |
| [04:03] | This is a test. | 这是考试 |
| [04:05] | He’s teaching me about real conspiracies | 他通过掩盖他的存在 |
| [04:07] | by erasing his existence! | 教我真正的阴谋 |
| [04:09] | Oh, my god. Do you know what this means? | 我的天啊 你知道这意味这什么吗 |
| [04:12] | That’s how stupid Jeff thinks other people are. | 杰夫把咱都当2B铅笔了 |
| [04:15] | I always knew you were lazy, but I didn’t realize | 一直知道你是个懒蛋 可没想到 |
| [04:17] | that you would stoop to such pathetic lies! | 你会编造出这么离谱的谎言 |
| [04:20] | One man’s lies are another man’s truth… | 谎言和真理都是相对的 |
| [04:24] | Wouldn’t you say, jeff? | 是这样吧 杰夫 |
| [04:25] | I’m sorry. And who are you? | 抱歉 你是谁 |
| [04:29] | I’m Professor Professorson. | 我是叫兽森教授 |
| [04:32] | Ha. Wow, you…you really had me going there | 天啊 你差点害我百口莫辩 |
| [04:33] | for a second, professor. | 教授 |
| [04:35] | I thought I was going insane. | 我以为我疯了呢 |
| [04:36] | Precisely. | 就要这样 |
| [04:37] | An actual conspiracy to round out your education | 真正的阴谋能教你在这门课上 |
| [04:40] | in conspiracies and theories thereof. | 理论联系实际 |
| [04:44] | Your real name… is Professor Professorson? | 你的真名叫做…叫兽森教授 |
| [04:47] | My family name is Professorberg, | 我姓叫兽博格 |
| [04:49] | But we changed it when we were fleeing from the nazis. | 但在躲避纳粹追杀时改了姓氏 |
| [04:51] | Oh, I’m so sorry. | 好可怜 |
| [04:52] | You’ve probably never heard of me | 因为我主教夜校 |
| [04:54] | since I primarily teach night school. | 所以你可能没听说过我 |
| [04:56] | My faculty I.D. | 我的教师证 |
| [04:59] | Oh, well, I… | 这么说 |
| [05:00] | guess I never stuck around late enough | 我从没加班到那么晚 |
| [05:00] | 格林德尔社区大学 叫兽森教授 | |
| [05:02] | to meet you night school professors. | 也就没见过夜校的教授们 |
| [05:04] | Tv’s gotten crazy good, you know. | 晚上电视节目超给力的 |
| [05:07] | I have to take this. | 我要接个电话 |
| [05:09] | Thank you for indulging me, dean. | 感谢你的宽容 院长 |
| [05:11] | Jeff, read chapters 10 through 12 of Douglas | 杰夫 阅读《道格拉斯》第十到第十二章 |
| [05:13] | and see you next week. | 我们下周再见 |
| [05:16] | That is… | 前提是… |
| [05:18] | if I still exist. | 我还存在于世 |
| [05:21] | See you, professor. | 再见 教授 |
| [05:24] | Sorry to doubt you, Jeffrey. | 抱歉怀疑了你 杰夫瑞 |
| [05:26] | More importantly, out with this audit, | 更重要的是 取消这次排查 |
| [05:28] | back to chapter one of time desk: | 我又能回到《时光桌》第一章 |
| [05:31] | The chronicles of dean dangerous. | 邪恶院长传奇 |
| [05:34] | That is gonna be the worst book I’ll ever read cover to cover. | 我一定要看看这本书烂到啥地界 |
| [05:37] | I’m a terrible friend. | 我真是个糟糕的朋友 |
| [05:39] | I accused you of being a lying cheat. | 我居然指责你是骗子 |
| [05:42] | – Can you ever forgive me? – Sure. | -你会原谅我么 -当然 |
| [05:44] | Here’s the thing, though. | 不过还有一件事 |
| [05:46] | I’ve never seen that guy in my life! | 那人我根本不认识 |
| [05:48] | What? That wasn’t Professor Professorson? | 什么 难道他不是叫兽森教授吗 |
| [05:51] | There is no Professor Professorson! | 根本就没有叫兽森教授这个人 |
| [05:53] | I made him up! I forged a form | 我瞎编的 我伪造了表格 |
| [05:55] | with a phony teacher and class for a free credit! | 编出一个老师来混学分 |
| [05:58] | I knew it! | 我就知道 |
| [05:59] | Oh, you lying cheat! | 你这个大骗子 |
| [06:01] | Wait. Then– | 等下 那么 |
| [06:04] | Who was that? | 那家伙是谁 |
| [06:05] | I don’t know! | 我不知道 |
| [06:08] | – Wait, what? – I don’t know! | -等下 你说啥 -我不知道 |
| [06:14] | What should we do? | 那我们该怎么办 |
| [06:15] | I think we should grab some lunch. | 我认为我们应该去吃午饭了 |
| [06:16] | – I’m serious. – so am I. | -我是认真的 -我也是 |
| [06:18] | I just saw fat Neil head to the cafeteria | 我刚看到胖尼尔眼冒绿光 |
| [06:19] | with that look in his eye. | 往自助餐厅走去 |
| [06:21] | We got ten minutes to grab the last lima bean. | 再慢一点就啥都不剩了 |
| [06:22] | Jeff, you made up a professor, | 杰夫 你虚构了一个教授 |
| [06:24] | and he just appeared out of thin air. | 而他就这么凭空出现了 |
| [06:25] | You’re not the least bit curious how that happened? | 你就一点都不好奇这是怎么回事吗 |
| [06:27] | My latest theory? Maybe I’m a god. | 我最新的结论是 也许我是个神 |
| [06:29] | I’ve denied the signs for too long. | 我已否认我的神迹太久了 |
| [06:30] | This is so typical. | 又来了 |
| [06:31] | You’re just gonna blow off what happened. | 刚才的事你又要视它如浮云了 |
| [06:32] | Yes, especially when not blowing it off | 没错 尤其是如果不视它如浮云 |
| [06:34] | might cost me my free credit. | 我混来的学分也许就成浮云了 |
| [06:36] | Now, do me a favor. | 现在 帮我个忙 |
| [06:37] | Be very un-Annie and blow it off too. | 别揪着不放 让它随风飘散吧 |
| [06:39] | Oh, sure. I’ll just blow it off. | 当然了 我会当它是浮云的 |
| [06:41] | I’ll just blow everything off. | 神马都是浮云 |
| [06:42] | Heck, I guess I’ll just blow off walkin’! | 我想走路神马的也是浮云 |
| [06:45] | – Okay. – I’ll just blow off standing. | -好啊 -站立神马的也是浮云 |
| [06:47] | I’m just blowin’ everything off! | 神马神马的都是浮云 |
| [06:50] | Maybe I’ll blow off talking language. | 说话神马的也都是浮云 |
| [06:52] | Okay. | 随便 |
| [07:01] | Hey, bros, what’s the ha…ps… | 嘿 哥们 怎么 |
| [07:05] | Sweet fort! | 好棒的城堡哦 |
| [07:07] | Can I come inside? | 我能进去吗 |
| [07:09] | 请等一下 | |
| [07:10] | 让我看看 | |
| [07:16] | You could, Pavel… | 你可以 帕沃 |
| [07:18] | or…maybe the inside could come to you. | 或者 你可以把城堡带回家 |
| [07:21] | How would you characterize | 你准备贡献出 |
| [07:22] | the amount of blankets and pillows you have? | 多少毯子和枕头 |
| [07:24] | A butt load? | 一大堆 |
| [07:26] | I get wicked cold, bros, | 我很怕冷 老兄 |
| [07:28] | and mad sleepy. | 而且特嗜睡 |
| [07:38] | If you’re here to help me take my diorama | 要是你是来帮我把立体模型 |
| [07:40] | to the bio-diorama-rama, I can do it myself. | 搬去异想天开模型场的话 我自己就够了 |
| [07:43] | Yes. You made that clear | 是的 你的十一封短信 |
| [07:44] | in your 11th “I can do it myself” text. | 已经把”自力更生”诠释得很清楚了 |
| [07:47] | You even work too hard at passive-aggression, | 你怎么装个”不在乎”都那么在乎 |
| [07:49] | You know that? | 你个瓜娃子 |
| [07:52] | Hey, so… | 那个 话说 |
| [07:54] | Do you know anything about Greendale’s night school? | 你了解格林德尔社区大学的夜校吗 |
| [07:56] | Yeah. I’m assuming it’s the worst thing | 是的 那地方估计烂毙了 |
| [07:58] | you could ever hope to be in… | 也就比咱们白天来格林德尔 |
| [08:00] | only at night. | 稍微好一点 |
| [08:02] | Damn it, Annie. Have you been playing detective? | 该死 安妮 你刚才是在扮少女妙探吗 |
| [08:05] | You are gonna Nancy screw me out of my credit. | 你是想让我的学分随风消散吗 |
| [08:07] | Relax. All I did was ask the administration desk | 冷静 我只是问管理处 |
| [08:10] | if I could borrow a faculty directory. | 借了本教员目录 |
| [08:14] | Take a look at this. | 快来看看 |
| [08:16] | Is that Professorson? | 这是叫兽森教授吗 |
| [08:18] | His real name is Professor Woolley, | 他的真名是无力教授 |
| [08:20] | and he actually does teach night school here. | 而且他还真是在这里教夜校 |
| [08:23] | Why would someone you’ve never met | 为什么一个你不认识的人 |
| [08:24] | pretend to be your phony professor? | 要假扮成你虚构的教授呢 |
| [08:26] | He was already carrying falsified faculty credentials. | 他已经有伪造教师资历的前科 |
| [08:28] | Do you know what this means? | 你知道这意味着什么吗 |
| [08:30] | Yes. You are making me do work for my fake conspiracy class! | 知道 你要把阴谋论课弄假成真 |
| [08:33] | Exactly. There’s a conspiracy here. | 没错 这里必然有阴谋 |
| [08:36] | A dark, vast conspiracy | 一个黑暗 巨大的阴谋 |
| [08:38] | that may just go all the way to the top. | 也许会一路向上牵扯到最高层 |
| [08:40] | This is Greendale, Annie. | 这里是格林德尔 安妮 |
| [08:41] | If there’s a conspiracy, | 即使这里有阴谋 |
| [08:43] | it goes all the way to slightly below the middle. | 能牵扯到中层以下一点点就算不错了 |
| [08:45] | Wait a minute. | 等一下 |
| [08:46] | Something’s wrong. | 不对劲 |
| [08:49] | My car won’t start. | 我的车发动不起来了 |
| [08:50] | Hold on one second. | 等一下 |
| [08:52] | Hello. | 喂 |
| [08:53] | Tell your little friend | 告诉你家小朋友 |
| [08:54] | to stop snooping around night school, | 别再窥探夜校的事情 |
| [08:56] | otherwise, things might get… explosive. | 不然 就等着 爆炸吧 |
| [09:03] | Annie! | 安妮 |
| [09:19] | You okay? | 你还好吧 |
| [09:19] | Yeah. | 还行 |
| [09:22] | Probably didn’t need to tackle you. | 也许用不着推倒你 |
| [09:23] | Probably not. | 貌似是 |
| [09:26] | Looks like someone sent us a message… | 貌似有人给我们发送了一个信息 |
| [09:29] | A tiny, thoroughly underwhelming message. | 一个微不足道 十分不咋地的消息 |
| [09:33] | I hope you’ve already laid out your outfit | 我希望你已经准备好 |
| [09:35] | for tomorrow morning… | 明早要用的东西了 |
| [09:37] | Because we’re going to night school. | 因为我们要去夜校一探究竟 |
| [09:43] | I stole these from my son’s house. | 我从我儿子家偷来的这些东西 |
| [09:47] | When does a fort stop being a fort? | 已经城堡不像城堡了 |
| [09:49] | Hey. As long as it’s still made out of blankets… | 嘿 只要这堡垒还是用毯子做的 |
| [09:51] | Right? | 就行 对吧 |
| [09:54] | These’ll be perfect for the Pierce’s mom memorial tunnel. | 就当是纪念皮尔斯的妈妈吧 |
| [09:58] | So,this is a night school | 话说 这是夜校 |
| [10:00] | but where is professor Woolley’class? | 但是无力教授的课堂在哪里 |
| [10:03] | How ‘ bout this one? | 这间是吗 |
| [10:06] | No. That’s professor Huyck’s class– | 不是 那是骇客教授的教室 |
| [10:08] | “History of… something.” | 神马历史课 |
| [10:10] | You can’t pronounce it? | 你不认识字吗 |
| [10:11] | No. It literally says history of something. | 不 这上面就是写的神马历史课 |
| [10:13] | Let me see that. | 我看一下 |
| [10:17] | “Principles of intermediate? | 中庸原理 |
| [10:19] | “Studyology? Class 101”? | 学习科学 初级课堂 |
| [10:22] | Look, this one just says learning | 看 这一门课干脆学习内容 |
| [10:24] | with an exclamation point. | 就是个感叹号 |
| [10:29] | Hello, Professor Professorson. | 你好啊 叫兽森教授 |
| [10:32] | Or should I say…Woolley? | 或者我应该是叫你 无力 |
| [10:35] | What class are you teaching tonight, Professor? | 教授您今儿晚上上什么课啊 |
| [10:38] | Math. | 数学 |
| [10:39] | – Math? – Uh-huh. | -数学吗 -没错 |
| [10:40] | Do you mind if we sit in? | 你不介意我们也去听听吧 |
| [10:42] | Not at all. Right this way. | 当然不 跟我来 |
| [10:47] | So what kind of math do you teach, Professor? | 您教的是哪方面的数学呢 |
| [10:50] | Well, you know, math. | 数学就是数学嘛 |
| [10:51] | Uh…numbers. | 摆弄摆弄数字啊 |
| [10:54] | Pi. | 算算圆周率啊 |
| [10:57] | New math. Uh… | 研究研究新型数学啊 |
| [11:02] | Get him! | 快抓住他 |
| [11:10] | He went into that blanket fort! | 他钻到毯子城堡里面去了 |
| [11:13] | I think he went this way! | 我想他是朝这边遛了 |
| [11:15] | – Do you see him? – Oh, sorry. | -你看见他了吗 -哦 对不起啊 |
| [11:19] | – Troy! Abed! – Hey, guys. | -特洛伊 阿布蒂 -嘿 伙计们 |
| [11:20] | Welcome to fluffy town. | 欢迎来到蓬蓬镇 |
| [11:21] | No smoking, no farting, no pillow fighting. | 不许抽烟 不许放屁 不许搞枕头大战 |
| [11:23] | – We’re in a chase! – That’s allowed. | -我们正在追捕呢 -这个可以有 |
| [11:26] | There he is! | 他在那儿呢 |
| [11:29] | – Follow us. – But afterwards, | -跟我来 -不过逮着他之后 |
| [11:30] | you should really check out our civil rights museum. | 你们一定要来我们的人权博物馆来看看 |
| [11:41] | Leonard, back up! | 伦纳德 闪开 |
| [11:43] | You shouldn’t even be in here, Leonard. | 伦纳德你丫根本不应该出现在这 |
| [11:44] | You already have three farting strikes against you. | 你已经放过三个响屁了 |
| [11:45] | W–he’s getting away! | 什么 让他赶紧闪开啊 |
| [11:47] | I know a shortcut. Through the Turkish district. | 我知道有条捷径 穿过土耳其特区 |
| [11:56] | Britta? | 布雷塔 |
| [12:00] | Go! | 快点爬啊 |
| [12:05] | There he is! What the hell’s this? | 他在那儿呢 这是嘛玩意儿啊 |
| [12:08] | Latvian independence parade. | 拉脱维亚独立游行 |
| [12:10] | Don’t look at me. They had the proper permits. | 瞪我干嘛 人家有城管授权的 |
| [12:13] | Damn it! We lost him! | 可恶 我们追不上他了 |
| [12:15] | Luckily, I sent the diorama car to the chem lab | 还好我已经把汽车模型送到化学实验室 |
| [12:17] | to have the explosive analyzed. | 进行爆炸原因分析了 |
| [12:19] | Isn’t that him playing the trejdeksnis? | 那个举着响叮当的是不是他啊 |
| [12:23] | Nice try, Woolley! | 装挺像嘛 |
| [12:24] | Now, tell us everything. | 坦白从宽 抗拒从严 |
| [12:26] | Tell you? | 坦白吗 |
| [12:30] | I’ll show you! | 我袒露给你看 |
| [12:38] | What is this place? | 这是什么鬼地方 |
| [12:42] | This, Annie, is night school. | 安妮 这里就是传说中的夜校 |
| [12:44] | Every student, every teacher, every class– | 所有的学生老师还有课程都在这了 |
| [12:48] | Figments… | 臆想为花 |
| [12:50] | Puffs of hot air… | 捏造为云 |
| [12:51] | From the lips of a ghost | 独角兽之梦 梦之鬼魅 |
| [12:53] | in the shadow of a unicorn’s dream. | 鬼魅之唇 吞云吐雾 皆为虚无 |
| [12:56] | I made it up. Night school doesn’t exist. | 我编造了这一切 夜校根本不存在 |
| [12:58] | I used to be a student here at Greendale like you, Jeff, | 我和你一样 曾是格林德尔的一名学生 |
| [13:01] | Then one day I invented a fake course to get a free credit. | 突然有一天我瞎编出一门课来混学分 |
| [13:04] | To keep up the lie, I had to create a fake teacher | 为了圆这个谎 我得编出一个假老师 |
| [13:07] | who needed other fake classes | 假老师得上其他假课 |
| [13:09] | that needed to be filled with other fake students, | 假课得别的假学生来上 |
| [13:11] | and so on and so on and so on, “Etchethra!” | 谎越说越大 叮当叮当 |
| [13:14] | Did you just mispronounce et cetera? | 你是想说”等等 等等”吗 |
| [13:16] | My latin class is fake, Jeff… | 拉丁文课也是假的 杰夫 |
| [13:18] | Like all my classes, like my life. | 我的课 我的人生都是如此 |
| [13:20] | Aren’t you listening? | 你有在听我说嘛 |
| [13:20] | Yeah, I am. | 我在听 |
| [13:22] | And a very familiar feeling is starting to come over me. | 一种似曾相识之感向我袭来 |
| [13:25] | I feel like someone is trying to teach me something. | 我感觉好像是谁要教我点什么 |
| [13:27] | Jeff, the only thing | 杰夫 这个房间里 |
| [13:28] | that’s ever been learned in this room is regret! | 我唯一真正学到的就是悔恨 |
| [13:32] | Would that this desk were a time desk… | 如果这张桌子是时光桌 |
| [13:35] | so that I could correct my past mistakes… | 那我就能一切重来 |
| [13:39] | Ride dinosaurs… | 乘着恐龙 |
| [13:41] | Fight with Jack the ripper. | 和开膛手杰克一较高下 |
| [13:42] | Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. | 慢着慢着 |
| [13:44] | Unicorns? Ghost lips? Time desks? | 独角兽 鬼魅之唇 时光桌 |
| [13:48] | Doesn’t any of this overly stylized garbage | 这些老掉牙的垃圾是不是 |
| [13:50] | remind you of anyone? | 让你想起了某个人 |
| [13:52] | Everything this guy says is ripped from | 这个人所说简直是照搬 |
| [13:54] | the sure-to-be-unpublished pages of dean dangerous. | 未发表的《邪恶院长传奇》 |
| [13:58] | I don’t know what you mean. | 我不知道你在说什么 |
| [14:00] | Oh, I think you do. | 别装蒜了 |
| [14:01] | By the way, next time you walk someone to your fake lair, | 顺便告诉你一声 如果你再撒谎的话 |
| [14:04] | don’t pass the theater department… | 千万别路过戏剧系 |
| [14:06] | 戏剧教授肖恩・加洛蒂 Drama professor Sean Garrity. | |
| [14:17] | Thank god. That character was killing me. | 谢天谢地 这个角色快折磨死我了 |
| [14:19] | Word of advice: If you ever scrape the Dean’s car, | 忠告一句 如果你下次划了院长的车 |
| [14:22] | don’t tell him you’re gonna pay him back in acting. | 千万说你愿意演戏作偿 |
| [14:24] | On thanksgiving, I’m supposed to crash his family dinner | 感恩节我还得去他的家庭晚宴上捣乱 |
| [14:28] | and accuse him of stealing my girlfriend. | 指责他抢了我马子 |
| [14:30] | Wow. I guess this did go all the way to the top. | 果然把最高层都扯下马了 |
| [14:34] | I’m calling the Dean right now | 我现在就给院长打电话 |
| [14:35] | and giving him a piece of my mind! | 让他领教一下铁齿铜牙安晓妮 |
| [14:38] | No, wait. | 不 等一下 |
| [14:39] | Garrity… | 加洛蒂 |
| [14:41] | Does the theater department have any of those prop guns | 戏剧系是不是有几把道具枪 |
| [14:43] | that fire blanks? | 能唬唬人? |
| [14:45] | Of course. We just did a modern retelling of Macbeth | 当然有 我们刚刚重排过现代版的麦克白 |
| [14:47] | set in Gangland Chicago. | 背景是芝加哥黑帮 |
| [14:49] | Oh. Fresh take. | 有新意 |
| [14:50] | And you think I’m lazy. | 比我还懒呢 |
| [14:52] | Prop guns? | 道具枪 |
| [14:53] | Jeff…what do you have in mind? | 杰夫 你要干嘛 |
| [14:56] | A little demonstration for the dean | 我要给院长好好上一课 |
| [14:57] | on the dangers of trying to educate me. | 让他知道糊弄我的后果 |
| [15:00] | He doesn’t like fake classes? | 他不喜欢假课程是吧 |
| [15:01] | Well, he’s about to get a real lesson on the fact | 我倒要让他用鲜血染红旗帜 |
| [15:04] | 杰夫・翁格之死不悔改 that Jeff Winger never learns. | |
| [15:11] | Here he comes. Get set. | 他来了 各就给位 |
| [15:17] | You wanted to see me? | 你想见我吗 |
| [15:20] | Hi, Mr…Professorson. | 你好啊 叫兽森先生 |
| [15:22] | His real name is Woolley. | 他的真名叫无力 |
| [15:24] | And he’s defrauded your school | 他每年都从你的学校里 |
| [15:25] | to a tune of dozens of credits per year | 造假骗取相当可观的学分 |
| [15:28] | and nearly twice as many dollars. | 更别提没交的学费有多少钱了 |
| [15:30] | Well, that’s serious. | 这情节也太严重了吧 |
| [15:32] | Fortunately for you, | 不过你小子走运了 |
| [15:33] | I’m a big believer in second chances. | 我一生行善 决定给你第二次机会 |
| [15:35] | I’m not. | 我可不会 |
| [15:38] | Hey! Annie! | 安妮 |
| [15:40] | Oh, my god, you– you shot him! | 老天爷 你杀了他 |
| [15:43] | Of course I shot him! He was being dishonest. | 他满口胡言 留着何用 |
| [15:45] | And if there’s one thing Greendale’s taught me, it’s– | 格林德尔唯一教会我的就是… |
| [15:49] | – Whoa, what the hell? – She had a gun! | -搞毛啊 -她有枪 |
| [15:51] | It was a fake gun! | 我拿的是假枪 |
| [15:52] | We staged this to get back at you for deceiving us! | 我们排了这一出 就为了报复你的欺骗 |
| [15:54] | But you’re the deceiver, Jeffrey! | 是你骗人在先 杰夫瑞 |
| [15:56] | Yeah? Well, now you’re the dead guy. | 那怎么地 现在该你陪葬了 |
| [16:01] | Jeff! What are you doing? | 杰夫 你干吗 |
| [16:03] | Why do you have a real gun? | 哪来的真枪 |
| [16:05] | Why did you shoot the dean? | 你为什么冲校长开枪 |
| [16:07] | – Well, he shot you! – Not really! | -他向你开枪 -没有 |
| [16:10] | He and I were in on this from the start. | 这一切都是我们俩策划的 |
| [16:12] | When he found out you were faking a class, | 他察觉你瞎编了一门课程后 |
| [16:14] | he came to me and we cooked up this whole conspiracy thing | 就来找我 我们编了这么一出阴谋戏 |
| [16:17] | to illustrate the slippery slope of academic fraud! | 想教育你拿学习当儿戏 后果很严重 |
| [16:21] | You know what you actually illustrated, Annie? | 可你知道你教会了我什么吗安妮 |
| [16:26] | How to be a crappy friend. | 你是个烂朋友 |
| [16:28] | Once it was obvious the dean | 当我觉察到校长就是 |
| [16:29] | had orchestrated everything, | 这一切的始作俑者之时 |
| [16:31] | it was even more obvious | 我就知道这么一出戏 |
| [16:33] | the dean was too stupid to orchestrate anything. | 他那浆糊脑子可编不出来 |
| [16:36] | So on a hunch, I called him, | 所以直觉使然 我找到他 |
| [16:38] | and we hatched a plan to teach you | 我们就偷偷策划了一出戏 |
| [16:40] | a lesson or two about friendship. | 来教育你怎么当朋友 |
| [16:42] | But, jeff, I only did it because I love you. | 但杰夫 我做这些是因为我爱你 |
| [16:46] | Well, when you love someone, | 如果你爱某人 |
| [16:48] | you have to take them as they are. | 你就应该接受他的全部 |
| [16:50] | People aren’t playthings, Annie. | 别人可不是你的玩具 安妮 |
| [16:52] | No, they are not. | 不 他们不是 |
| [16:53] | Look who’s talking. | 瞧你那嘴脸 |
| [16:55] | After everything you’ve put me through? | 你居然这样对待我 |
| [16:58] | Okay. Where’d you get that gun? | 你哪来的枪 |
| [17:02] | There were only three prop guns. | 只有三支道具枪 |
| [17:04] | Yeah, well, I live in a terrible neighborhood. | 穷街陋巷里找枪还不容易 |
| [17:06] | Annie, put the gun down. | 安妮 把枪放下 |
| [17:09] | After we kissed, | 在我们那一吻后 |
| [17:10] | I waited all summer to see you. | 我苦苦等了一个夏天才见到你 |
| [17:13] | You…buried me | 你却不理我 |
| [17:15] | like a shameful secret. | 好像那一吻见不得人一样 |
| [17:17] | What’s the matter, Jeff? | 你怕什么呢 杰夫 |
| [17:19] | Afraid crazy annie would go crazy for you? | 怕疯子安妮会死咬着你不放吗 |
| [17:23] | Well, guess what. | 猜怎么着 |
| [17:24] | Annie’s got a gun. | 安妮拿着枪呢 |
| [17:26] | Annie, just put the gun– | 安妮 快把枪 |
| [17:34] | Annie… what have you done? | 安妮 你干了什么 |
| [17:37] | 如果你真的可怜杰夫・翁格 If you love Jeff Winger so much, | |
| [17:39] | why did you conspire with me against him? | 干吗和我一起搞这些小动作呢 |
| [17:41] | I don’t know! | 我不知道 |
| [17:43] | I can’t keep track of any of it anymore! | 我已经脑袋秀逗跟不上进度了 |
| [17:46] | I just keep teaming up with whoever suggests it! | 不管谁来拉我入伙 我都跟他一拨 |
| [17:50] | Glad to hear you admit it. | 能听到你承认真好 |
| [17:53] | When I called you to ask you to double-cross Annie, | 我问你要不要在安妮背后搞小动作 |
| [17:55] | You didn’t hesitate for a second. | 你可是一点都不迟疑 |
| [17:57] | Do you even understand what a conspiracy is? | 你懂什么叫阴谋吗 |
| [17:59] | If you conspire with every person that approaches you, | 不管是谁找你 你都跟他一伙 |
| [18:01] | you’re not even really conspiring with anyone. | 到最后你谁都没蒙着 |
| [18:03] | You’re just doing random crap. | 你这是蒙头苍蝇到处乱撞 |
| [18:05] | I know, I– | 我知道 我 |
| [18:06] | I’m sorry! I just– | 我对不起你们 我只是 |
| [18:08] | I just wanna have fun with you guys and… | 我只是想和你们一起玩 |
| [18:11] | I go crazy cooped up in my little office, and… | 那小办公室快把我逼疯了 |
| [18:16] | Time travel is really hard to write about! | 时间旅行真的很难写 |
| [18:23] | If I’m keeping track right, we should be done. | 如果我算的没错 该演的都应该演完了 |
| [18:27] | I’ll just take these back to the theater department. | 我得把这些拿回去还给戏剧部 |
| [18:30] | Police! | 警察 |
| [18:32] | Drop your weapons! | 把枪放下 |
| [18:32] | – Down on the ground! – Don’t shoot, officer! | -放到地上 -别开枪 警官 |
| [18:34] | Don’t shoot, please. They’re fake– | 别开枪 这都是假 |
| [18:40] | Those are prop guns! | 那都是道具枪 |
| [18:44] | I guess it just goes to show you… | 这算是给你们上了一课 |
| [18:46] | Prop guns belong backstage. | 道具枪只能放在后台 |
| [18:49] | And…scene. | 或者演戏的时候用 |
| [18:51] | You have got to be kidding me! | 你丫这是搞什么飞机 |
| [18:55] | Professor Garrity called and told me | 加洛蒂教授都告诉我了 |
| [18:56] | what all of you were up to. | 你们这帮人的小把戏 |
| [18:57] | Made me mad. Guns aren’t toys. | 真让我生气 枪可不是好玩的 |
| [19:01] | In 100% of all fake gun related shootings, | 所有那些因假枪引起的枪击案中 |
| [19:05] | the victim is always the one with the fake gun. | 受伤或致死的总是那个拿假枪的 |
| [19:09] | Hey, Sean, you got breakfast plans? | 肖恩 一起吃早饭呗 |
| [19:11] | I do now. | 走吧 |
| [19:12] | So, sean… | 肖恩 |
| [19:14] | We’re still on for thanksgiving, right? | 感恩节计划不变吧 |
| [19:18] | Just talk to your father, Craig. | 跟你爹好好谈谈吧 克拉格 |
| [19:20] | Would that this hoodie were a time hoodie. | 要是这件帽衫是时光帽衫就好了 |
| [19:25] | Hey, dean, | 院长 |
| [19:27] | How ’bout that credit? | 我那学分怎么办 |
| [19:28] | No! | 做梦吧你 |
| [19:30] | Damn it. | 真见鬼 |
| [19:32] | I’m not sure what lessons | 我都忘了 |
| [19:33] | either of us managed to teach each other, | 当初我们教来教去是想说什么了 |
| [19:34] | But I am proud of Annie. | 但我真为安妮而骄傲 |
| [19:36] | She took to deception | 她擅长搞诡计 |
| [19:37] | like Abed took to cougar town. | 就像阿布蒂对《熟女镇》门儿清一样 |
| [19:39] | It’s really good. | 那是真不错 |
| [19:40] | Especially when she went off script. | 尤其是她即兴的那一段 |
| [19:43] | You said to be convincing. | 你说要编的可信一点嘛 |
| [19:45] | Check it out, bros. | 快看啊弟兄们 |
| [19:47] | You made the front page! | 你们登上封面了 |
| [19:52] | “格林德尔里的毯子城堡” 毯堡风尚席卷全国 | |
| [19:53] | You know what this means. | 你知道这代表着什么吧 |
| [19:55] | We’ve gone mainstream. | 我们是时尚的弄潮儿 |
| [19:56] | Initiate protocol omega. | 启动Omega计划 |
| [20:24] | We’ve started looting! | 掠夺战利品开始 |
| [20:30] | Wanna build a cardboard submarine? | 我们来拿硬纸板建潜艇吧 |
| [20:33] | Get out of my brain. | 英雄所见略同 |
| [20:38] | – Once… – upon… | -就在 -很久 |
| [20:39] | – a… – time… | -很久 -以前 |
| [20:41] | – There… – was… | -曾经 -有过 |
| [20:42] | a… | 一个 |
| [20:44] | – big… – spaceship. | -超级 -飞船 |
| [20:46] | – and… – aliens. | -还有 -异形 |
| [20:48] | – and… – mercenaries. | -还有 -佣兵 |
| [20:49] | – and? – war. | -以及 -战争 |
| [20:52] | – and? – betrayal. | -有过 -背叛 |
| [20:55] | – and? – romance? | -还有 -爱情 |
| [20:57] | – and? – karate. | -还有 -武术 |
| [20:59] | -and? -credits. | -然后 -荣归故里 |
| [21:00] | – the – end. | -感谢 -观看 |
| [21:02] | We should write a screenplay together. | 我们应该一起写个剧本 |
| [21:04] | Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. | 好啊 好啊好啊 |