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废柴联盟(Community)第2季第3集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 废柴联盟(Community)第2季第3集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
目录
S01E01
S01E02
S01E03
S01E04
S01E05
S01E06
S01E07
S01E08
S01E09
S01E10
S01E11
S01E12
S01E13
S01E14
S01E15
S01E16
S01E17
S01E18
S01E19
S01E20
S01E21
S01E22
S01E23
S01E24
S01E25
S02E01
S02E02
S02E03
S02E04
S02E05
S02E06
S02E07
S02E08
S02E09
S02E10
S02E11
S02E12
S02E13
S02E14
S02E15
S02E16
S02E17
S02E18
S02E19
S02E20
S02E21
S02E22
S02E23
S02E24
S03E01
S03E02
S03E03
S03E04
S03E05
S03E06
S03E07
S03E08
S03E09
S03E10
S03E11
S03E12
S03E13
S03E14
S03E15
S03E16
S03E17
S03E18
S03E19
S03E20
S03E21
S03E22
S04E01
S04E02
S04E03
S04E04
S04E05
S04E06
S04E07
S04E08
S04E09
S04E10
S04E11
S04E12
S04E13
S05E01
S05E02
S05E03
S05E04
S05E05
S05E06
S05E07
S05E08
S05E09
S05E10
S05E11
S05E12
S05E13
S06E01
S06E02
S06E03
S06E04
S06E05
S06E06
S06E07
S06E08
S06E09
S06E10
S06E11
S06E12
S06E13
时间 英文 中文
[00:03] Oh, what are you guys doing together, 你俩捣鼓什么呢
[00:05] – just the two of you? – We’re gonna raise money -都不叫上我 -我们要在学校广场
[00:06] on the quad to help with the oil spill. 为石油泄漏事件筹款
[00:08] We’re making this display to show how serious the problem is. 做这个模型是为了向大家展示问题的严重性
[00:11] Oh, yeah. Each drop represents 对了 每一滴代表
[00:13] 10,000 gallons of oil. 一万加仑的石油
[00:19] I’m so glad this tragedy overshadowed Haiti. 这次泄露事件盖过了海地地震我很开心
[00:21] I didn’t have any ideas for that. 我对那次事件没有什么想法
[00:23] Yay to having fun in pairs! 寓教于乐 好耶
[00:24] What up, party people? 干什么呢 派对狂人
[00:26] Oh, you got a band-aid on your arm. 胳膊上有个创可贴
[00:27] You should be more careful shaving. 以后刮毛的时候要注意点
[00:29] I wax, dummy. This is from a blood test. 人家都打蜡除毛 白痴 我去验血了
[00:31] Oh, no…I knew it. 我就知道
[00:33] Things are going too well for you. 你的好运气到头了
[00:34] Oh, no, no. Just a physical. 不 不过是一次体检而已
[00:36] Even a Ferrari needs a tune-up. 就算是法拉利偶尔也要保养下嘛
[00:39] You guys moonshiners now? 你们开始走私烈酒了吗
[00:40] No, just the two of them. 没我事 她们俩搞的
[00:41] We’re raising money for the oil spill. 我们为石油泄漏事件筹款
[00:43] Did you even know there was one? 你知道这个新闻吗
[00:44] Uh, yeah, I have the AOL home page bookmarked. 当然知道 美国在线的主页我都放进收藏夹了
[00:47] Did you even know about the ostrich that raised the tiger cub? 你们知道有只鸵鸟养了一只幼虎吗
[00:52] – Troy, what’s wrong? – I just saw a dead body. -特洛伊 你怎么了 -我看见尸体了
[00:55] I told you not to use the east stairwell. 跟你说过不要走东面的楼梯的
[00:57] My pastor said it’s meth season. 我的牧师告诉我现在是吸毒的高峰期
[00:59] You know I’m living with Pierce now, so… 你们知道我和皮尔斯住在一起吧
[01:01] this morning I went to do laundry in the garage, 今天早上我去车库洗衣服
[01:03] and I found his mom… 我发现他妈妈…
[01:04] dead. 挺尸了
[01:06] – Oh! – Troy, that’s terrible! -天哪 -特洛伊 这太糟糕了
[01:08] Well, she had been in bad shape for a while. 她身体不好挺长时间了
[01:11] So I guess she crawled out there to die like a cat. 我猜想她是像猫一样爬去那里等死了
[01:16] I’ve never been that close to a dead body before. 我第一次这么近距离看见尸体
[01:17] – Oh! – Oh, pumpkin! -哦 -小可怜
[01:20] She was so cold and gray. 她身体冰冷 灰了吧唧的
[01:23] I saw her underwear! 我还看到她内衣了
[01:34] Jeez… who died? 干嘛 谁死了
[01:36] Pierce, we’re so sorry to hear about your mom. 皮尔斯 我们对你母亲的事感到很遗憾
[01:40] – Why? – Losing a loved one is always difficult. -怎么了 -失去至亲都会很悲痛
[01:42] What? My mom isn’t dead. 什么 我妈没死
[01:45] But when Troy found her, he said that– 但是特洛伊发现她的时候 他说…
[01:46] Well, her heart, lungs, kidneys, and brain 的确 她的心脏 肺 肾和大脑
[01:49] stopped working. 都停止工作了
[01:50] And another way of saying that would be… 也就是说…
[01:52] She’s used up her organic body. 她的有机体用到头了
[01:54] By…dying in it. 也就是…死了
[01:57] Wrong. She’s alive. 错 她还活着
[02:01] Mom was a part of my buddhist church. 老妈和我在一个教会
[02:03] She’s a level five laser lotus, same as me. 她和我一样 是五级激光莲座巫师
[02:06] When a level five’s body stops functioning, 当五级巫师的身体停止工作的时候
[02:08] It’s vaporized in the temple of renewal 其身体会在重生神殿中气化
[02:10] and stored in an energon pod. 然后储存在能量罐中
[02:12] In a few years, when our technology advances, 再过几年 等科技发展了
[02:15] they’ll extract her body vapors 他们就会提炼她的身体蒸汽
[02:17] and recondense it to a solid state. 重新凝结出一个真身来
[02:18] And before you know it, 不知不觉中
[02:19] mom’ll be back in the kitchen 妈妈就又会出现在厨房
[02:21] making Troy and me sandwiches. 给我和特洛伊做三明治
[02:28] Pumpkin! It’s okay! 小可怜 没事的
[02:34] Did you guys hear about that turtle in China? 你们听说中国那只乌龟了吗
[02:37] Two packs a day. 一天生了两窝哦
[03:02] 《废柴联盟》
[03:10] Look, if you guys just let me get to the can opener, 小猫咪们 等我把猫罐头打开
[03:12] I can feed you. 你们再聚过来嘛
[03:13] We have to do something about Pierce. 我们得帮帮皮尔斯
[03:14] He really thinks his mom isn’t dead. 他真的以为他妈妈没死
[03:17] He’s gone crazy. 他疯了
[03:19] …er? 还能再疯点吗
[03:20] He won’t even let us have a memorial service. 他都不让我们开追悼会
[03:22] I was halfway done with the collage. 我连拼贴画都快做好了
[03:24] He hasn’t cried yet, and from what I’ve been told, 他还没哭 据我所知
[03:25] – that’s not normal. – Who’s normal, Abed? -那样不正常 -有谁是正常的 阿布蒂
[03:28] Well, baptists are, but that’s beside the point. 浸礼教的人都很正常的 但是这不是重点
[03:30] Everybody has some sort of service for the departed– 不论是谁 都应该有送别仪式的
[03:32] Eskimos, witch doctors, jewish people. 爱斯基摩人啊 巫医啊 犹太人什么的
[03:35] Oh, cool. We made the list. 不错 把我们算进去了
[03:36] The point being, death needs to be coped with, 重点是 死亡应该被正视
[03:39] not ignored, otherwise, why did mankind 不能不予理睬 不然的话人类
[03:39] mankind和humankind词义相当 但mankind因其雄性词特征常被女权主义者抨击
[03:41] concoct all these religions? 为什么要捏造这些宗教啊
[03:42] You wanna rephrase that? 能重新措辞一下吗
[03:44] Oh, I’m sorry–humankind. 抱歉 是人类
[03:45] You think you’re real smart, don’t you? 你自认为很聪明 是吗
[03:46] Guys, guys, guys. Did we learn nothing 伙计们 上次圣诞节的经历
[03:49] from last Christmas? 给的教训还不够吗
[03:50] I don’t see much difference between Pierce’s religion 我可没看出皮尔斯的宗教信仰
[03:52] and anybody else’s. 和别人的有什么不同
[03:54] Well, then you’re not listening, 那是因为你没认真听
[03:55] because his has lasers. 他的信仰有激光的
[03:56] Look, you guys make fun of me for not caring about religion, 听着 你们嘲笑我没信仰
[03:59] but at least I’m dedicate enough to not caring 但是我至少没有横加干涉
[04:01] to let you have your own beliefs. 你们各自的信仰
[04:05] Can’t Pierce have his? 皮尔斯就不能有自己的信仰吗
[04:07] Can’t you be cool like me? 你们就不能像我一样宽容吗
[04:10] Hello? 你好
[04:11] He ends so many of his speeches that way. 他的好多演说都是以接电话结束的
[04:15] Morning, guys. 早上好 伙计们
[04:16] Morning, Pierce. 早上好 皮尔斯
[04:18] – How’s mom? – Terrific. -老妈情况如何 -非常棒
[04:19] Her body’s being vaporized as we speak. 现在她的身体正在被气化
[04:22] What does that feel like? 那是什么感觉
[04:23] They say it’s the greatest feeling ever. 据说爽颠了
[04:25] Like the second when the fudge on your sunday is still hot 如乳脂尚未融化的圣代 唇齿留香
[04:28] or when you’re the first one to break in a new boob job. 又如新鲜出炉的隆胸美人 春光乍泄
[04:31] Also, you’re free from the burden of your earthly body. 而且 你也同时脱离了你本体的束缚
[04:34] It is a burden. 确实很束缚
[04:35] 大家好 我是尹恩・邓肯教授 Greetings, class! I am Dr. Ian Duncan.
[04:38] Now, I don’t normally teach Anthropology, 我通常不教人类学这门课
[04:40] But apparently Professor Bauer tried to strangle Mr. Winger 但鉴于鲍尔教授想把翁格勒死
[04:44] and has been put on administrative leave with pay. 已经被带薪停职
[04:46] So…what is Anthropology? 那么 什么人类学
[04:54] Seriously, does anyone know? 我当真在问你们 谁知道
[04:56] – You, in the boobs. – It’s the study of humanity. -那个大波妹 -是研究人类的学科
[05:01] Wow. I thought Psychology was a racket. 我以为心理学就够糊弄人了
[05:04] Well, well. 哎哟喂
[05:07] I heard there was a drunk limey teachin’ this class. 我听说有个酒鬼英国佬在讲课嘛
[05:10] I’m not actually drunk, and I can prove it. 我没喝醉 我能证明
[05:12] I blew beneath the legal limit just this morning. 我今早酒精测试合格了
[05:15] That’s reassuring. 这也行
[05:16] Also, I would like everyone here to know 并且 我还要提醒大家
[05:18] that this man assaulted me last year. 这厮去年对我动手动脚
[05:21] And I have a restraining order 而且我获得了一条限制令
[05:23] so I can have him expelled if he comes within… 他一旦近我身就会被开除 限制距离为…
[05:25] 25 25…
[05:27] feet. 英尺
[05:29] – Abed. – Yep. -阿布蒂 -来了
[05:41] Proceed, Dr. Teeth. 继续吧 大牙博士
[05:41] [木偶秀中的乐队主唱 一口大牙]
[05:44] It is the single largest disaster in recorded history. 这是有史以来最大的灾难
[05:48] 这比50个埃克森・瓦尔迪兹号溢油事故还严重 It is worse than 50 Exxon Valdez spills!
[05:52] You don’t have to yell at us. 你也没必要冲我们吼吧
[05:53] Nobody is on the other side of this issue. 也没人说这事是好事啊
[05:57] And the pelicans are covered in oil. 鹈鹕的身上沾满了石油
[06:00] Everyone likes pelicans. They bring babies. 人人都喜欢鹈鹕 它们可是送子鸟
[06:02] – That’s storks. – Oh, right. -那是鹳鸟 -对哦
[06:02] [西方传说 鹳鸟为恩爱夫妻送来孩子]
[06:05] Well…we still like them! 好吧 我们还是喜欢它呀
[06:08] Yeah, we do. Um… 是啊 没错
[06:10] I’m gonna give you… 我要再给你
[06:11] another 20. 20块钱
[06:13] Thank you so much! 真是太谢谢你了
[06:19] I’m here for my test results… 我是来拿我的体检结果的
[06:20] If you haven’t framed them yet. 如果你们还没把它装裱的话
[06:23] – Hi, gorgeous. – Jeff. -美女 -杰夫
[06:24] You have something very infectious. 你得了严重的传染病
[06:27] – What? – Charm! -啥 -魅力感染
[06:29] You got me, Jackie. 你唬住我了 杰奇
[06:31] Seriously, everything looks great. 说正经的 各项指标都很好
[06:33] You’re an incredible specimen. 你的身体堪称典范
[06:34] Even your moles look like little hearts. 就连你的痣都长得有型
[06:37] The only thing I would suggest– 我的唯一建议是
[06:38] Go see a doctor and get a prescription 去看个医生让他给你开个
[06:40] for cholesterol medication. 降胆固醇的药方
[06:42] What? Why? 什么 为啥
[06:43] Your cholesterol’s a little high. 你的胆固醇有点高
[06:45] It’s no big deal. Eat some egg whites. 没啥大不了的 吃点鸡蛋白
[06:47] But I-I don’t understand. 但是 我还是不明白
[06:49] Wait, did I accidentally tell you you have AIDS? 等下 莫非我说你得艾滋了
[06:52] ‘Cause I’ve done that before. 因为这错我以前犯过
[06:53] It doesn’t–I mean– it doesn’t– 不 我是说 这没道理
[06:54] I treat my body like a temple! 我对待我的身体就像对待神庙一样
[06:56] Well, I can’t be the first person to tell you 那么 之前肯定也有人告诉过你
[06:58] that the temple doesn’t last forever. 神庙也不是万古长存的
[07:00] I mean, it’s made of hamburger. 我是说 您这神庙是汉堡垒起来的
[07:02] This is a… this is a temple of doom. 这就是魔域奇兵中的神庙
[07:02] [印第安纳・琼斯与魔域奇兵]
[07:04] And you know what? Like the real temple of doom, 还有 正如魔宫本身一样
[07:06] It represents the inconvenient fact 即便难以接受 可它表明了这一事实
[07:08] that all good things– 年华再美好
[07:09] be they people or movie franchises– 无论是真人还是电影人物
[07:12] eventually collapse into sagging, sloppy, 终有一天会变得肌肉松弛 邋里邋遢
[07:15] rotten piles of hard to follow nonsense. 满目苍夷 逝者已矣
[07:18] I need to be alone. 我需要一个人静一静
[07:22] Uh…you can do that by leaving. 你走出去不就行了
[07:29] Whoo. Okay. 好啦
[07:30] Let’s get goin’! 咱们继续
[07:31] Those paps aren’t gonna smear themselves. 宫颈抹片可不会自己飞过来
[07:34] There is no god! 上帝是不存在滴
[07:38] Tell us how you really feel. Am I right? 跟医生要推心置腹 对吧
[07:49] Morning, Jeff. 早安 杰夫
[07:50] Did you get the results of your blood test? 你的血液检查结果拿到了吗
[07:51] – I’m fine. – I figured. -我挺好 -我看出来了
[07:54] Thank you for wising us up yesterday. 谢谢你昨天点醒了我们
[07:56] We were being judgmental about Pierce’s religion. 我们对皮尔斯的信仰太过主观了
[07:58] But the fact is, jesus– 但事实是 基督
[08:00] The fact is, everyone’s dying. 事实是 人总有一死
[08:03] And we all have these little notions 而我们都心存一丝侥幸
[08:04] that we’re the exception, 希望自己能够例外
[08:05] But we’re as wrong as we are dead. 但是等死了之后才会明白大错特错
[08:11] That’s nice. 说的挺好
[08:16] How’s it going with the little side project 你俩单独搞的那个小项目
[08:17] that just the two of you are doing? 进展如何啦
[08:19] It’s great. I made $236, 进展太顺利了 我募集了236块钱
[08:22] Plus Britta’s makes– 加上布雷塔募集的
[08:24] Well, all totaled, 总数是
[08:24] we’re close to 250, right, Britta? 差不多快250块了 对吧 布雷塔
[08:28] Greendale cares about this issue. 格林德尔的学生很关心这件事啊
[08:30] Yeah. I don’t think that’s it. 我可不这么认为
[08:31] – What do you mean? – Come on, Annie. -什么意思 -少来了 安妮
[08:33] You know guys are giving you money 你知道男生们给你钱
[08:34] because of the whole sexy schoolgirl routine. 是因为你耍的性感学生套招
[08:37] – I have a routine? – Yeah. -我有套招 -没错
[08:39] You know, the one where you use posture as an excuse 你自己清楚 故意摆姿势
[08:42] to stick out your chest 好凸显你的胸脯
[08:43] and you laugh at guys’ unfunny jokes, 他们讲的冷笑话 你也大笑不止
[08:46] pretending not to know 假装不知道
[08:47] that they have a sock at home with your name on it. 他们家里有一条写着你名字的袜子
[08:50] Um…that’s me, 可我就这样
[08:53] And if a guy wants to make a puppet of me, 就算有人想做一个安妮布偶
[08:55] that’s hardly your concern. 你也管不着吧
[08:57] Well, I just may be an outsider here 鉴于你们这次活动没带上我
[08:58] because I was never called to participate, 所以作为一个局外人
[09:00] but it seems to me that Britta’s upset 依我看来貌似布雷塔不高兴
[09:02] because she’s raising less money than you. 是因为她募的钱比你的少
[09:05] Yeah, I’m raising less money 是啊 我募集的钱少
[09:06] because I’m not jump-starting date rapists. 是因为我不想招惹上什么强奸犯
[09:10] Bitter much? 有这么酸么
[09:11] Say “Bitter much” Much? 我就酸了 怎么着
[09:13] Say say “Bitter much much” Much? 有能耐你再酸一点啊
[09:21] It’s not my fault. I used to wear a back brace. 这不怨我 我以前是穿背背佳的
[09:24] That’s why. 明白了
[09:26] What’s with the lava lamp? 干吗带着个熔岩灯
[09:29] It’s not a lava lamp. It’s my mom. 这不是熔岩灯 这是我妈
[09:32] Ha ho ho! Snap! 哦呵呵 太逗了
[09:34] Wait…what? 等下 你说啥
[09:35] The temple finished vaporizing her. 神殿已将她气化完毕
[09:37] This is mom’s energon pod. 这就是老妈的能量罐
[09:40] And that’s her vapor in those little bubbles. 她气化后成了这些泡泡
[09:42] I’m sure that thing was free, right? 这玩意是免费的吧
[09:44] Energon doesn’t grow on trees, Jeff. 能量可不是能轻易得到的 杰夫
[09:46] It’s harvested by super bees in a buddhist meteor crater. 是超级蜜蜂从佛祖陨石坑里采集酿造而成
[09:49] Which is at the foot of mount Sky Mall 就位于宜家大峡谷的
[09:50] in the Sharper Image Valley? 淘宝山脚下吧
[09:53] Sorry, I overslept. 抱歉 我睡过头了
[09:54] The sidewalk is more comfortable than it looks. 人行道睡起来比看上去舒服得多啊
[09:57] Drunk. Glug, glug, glug. 酒鬼 咕咚 咕咚
[09:59] Shut up. So where did we get to yesterday? 闭嘴 昨天我们讲到哪儿啦
[10:02] You are drunk and stupid. 你个蠢驴酒罐子
[10:03] Actually, Ben, I do have a wee big of a headache, 说真的 本 我还真有点头痛
[10:06] So if you could just– 你能不能行行好
[10:12] Isn’t that interesting? 有意思
[10:14] I have a right to be here, sir. 我有权坐在这里 先生
[10:16] Oh, you do, you do, 嗯 你是有
[10:17] And I do hope you have very good hearing. 我也希望你听力够好
[10:23] Bastard! 王八蛋
[10:26] So, where did we get to yesterday? 那么 我们昨天讲到哪里了
[10:28] We were talking about humanity, 我们讲的人类
[10:30] Which starts with birth and ends with death. 以生开始以死结束
[10:33] True. 没错
[10:34] All life ends in death, which we, as a species, 所有的生命终将消亡 我们人类
[10:37] are cursed with knowing, resulting in… 因诅咒而有了意识 结果导致
[10:41] Something. 某样东西
[10:44] Again, this is really not my field. 强调一遍 这方面我实在不在行
[10:47] Professor, what would you say 教授 麻烦讲解一下
[10:49] might be the difference between 宗教和邪教之间
[10:51] a religion and…a cult? 区别在哪
[10:53] Why don’t we open that question to the floor, 这个问题何不待会再谈
[10:56] since I don’t know 首先我不知道
[10:57] and the book for this class is expensive? 再者这门课的教材真的很贵
[10:59] Well, I would say a cult might, for instance, 私以为 比如说
[11:01] sell you a tube of jell-o 邪教会卖你一管果冻
[11:04] and tell you your mother is in it. 说你妈的灵魂在里面
[11:07] – Jeffrey! – I see–are we thinly veiling -杰夫 -我知道了 是不是
[11:09] a personal conflict and passing it off as a lesson? 课程的风头要被江湖恩仇记盖过了
[11:11] ‘Cause if so, please continue. 如果是 请继续
[11:13] Reformed neo-buddhism is not a cult! 改良的新佛教走的是正道
[11:16] It is a new way of looking at the world, 是用新的眼光看世界
[11:18] emphasizing empowerment. 强调人权天授
[11:20] – Like a video game? – Yes, Troy. -像电子游戏吗 -答对了
[11:22] Very much like a video game. 就像电子游戏
[11:23] You gain levels, and at a certain point, 你会不断升级 到一定级别
[11:25] you actually can eat a ghost. 就真的能吃鬼魂
[11:28] What? I wanna eat a ghost! 啥 我也想吃鬼魂
[11:30] No. No, do not let him pollute your brain 打住 别被他的歪理邪说
[11:32] with this crap, Troy. 污染了 特洛伊
[11:33] – It’s okay to ask questions. – I have a question. -但是可以提问 -我有疑问
[11:36] You said your mother went from a solid to a vapor. 你说你妈妈的肉体气化了
[11:38] Do people in your religion ever take liquid form, 在你的宗教里 会不会有人变成液态
[11:40] like the Creatures In The Abyss 就像《深海秘影》里那样
[11:41] or children’s tylenol? 还有小儿退烧药水
[11:43] That’s a good question. 问得很好
[11:44] Actually, when buddha returns, 实际上 当佛祖归来时
[11:46] We all take liquid form 我们都会液化
[11:48] and merge into a shimmering ocean of knowledge. 融合成一片知识的海洋
[11:52] Which, according to scripture, tastes like Hawaiian punch. 经文里说尝起来就像夏威夷果饮
[11:55] I do like Hawaiian punch. 我挺喜欢夏威夷果饮
[11:57] Hey, if you’re really curious, 你们要是感兴趣
[11:58] come to my church’s open hive tomorrow. 明天来参加佛寺的露天集会
[12:00] You know, wine, beer, free credit checks. 好吃好喝 还有免费信用核查
[12:03] How much wine and beer per person? 吃喝限量吗
[12:05] – Oh, come on! – We’re having a con–what? -开玩笑吧 -我们正在说 什么
[12:07] Excuse me. Is this anesthesiology? 不好意思 请问这里是麻醉学课吗
[12:10] Yes. Yes, it is. 没错 正是
[12:12] Just go with this. 都别穿帮
[12:14] It’s really sad. Anything helps. 真令人惋惜 不管能帮上多少
[12:16] So just anything you could give would be really… 不论捐献些什么 都能…
[12:24] Hey! 你好啊
[12:25] I like need you to save the pelicans. 这些鹈鹕需要你的救助
[12:28] They’re all feathery and pelicany. 它们都长着鹈鹕的羽毛
[12:30] I wuv them. 可爱死了
[12:34] Thank you! 谢谢你哦
[12:37] Wow. It really is easy to raise money 只要会装嗲卖乖
[12:40] when you sell out your gender. 募捐真是易如反掌
[12:43] I’m sure it’s even easier 要是旁边没这样的人
[12:44] when you’re not standing next to this. 肯定会更容易点
[12:46] Hey, jerk! You’re stupid! 你这个白痴大混蛋
[12:48] Gimme money. I know more than you. 快给钱 我懂得比你多
[12:50] Oh, I don’t know anything. 我啥都不懂
[12:52] I need boys. 就是需要男生
[12:53] Saving the planet makes my back hurt. 为了拯救地球 我的背都痛了
[12:56] Oh, I obviously don’t need guys for anything. 很显然我根本不需要男人
[12:58] That’s why I wear stripper boots during the day 所以我才大白天穿高跟靴卖性感
[13:01] and eat only celery and mustard for lunch! 午餐只吃芹菜和芥菜
[13:03] – Oh, I never stop smiling. – I never start! -我老笑个不停 -我老板着个脸
[13:06] My sweaters keep shrinking! 我的毛衣总是缩水
[13:08] I get up an hour early to ever-so-slightly curl my hair. 我提早一小时起床就为做个自然卷发
[13:17] Yeah, you’re both so different. 你俩真是天差地别
[13:19] Skinny bitches. 麻杆儿妞
[13:20] Hello, Billionaire Boys Club. 你好 街头贵公子
[13:20] [亿万少年俱乐部 服饰品牌 主打奢华街头风]
[13:23] Mind if I ask what happened in class today? 能问问今天课上怎么回事吗
[13:25] You pulled 40 minutes of anesthesiology out of your ass. 你凭空编出了一节40分钟的麻醉学课
[13:28] Yeah, I did. 那确实
[13:29] But, uh, I meant your elderly friend. 不过我是指你的”老”朋友
[13:34] Do you know how many times I haven’t eaten a donut? 你知道我多久没吃甜甜圈了吗
[13:36] – I do not. – How much I got teased -不知 -知道我小学时多少次
[13:38] in grade school for dabbing my pizza with napkins? 因为用餐巾吸披萨上的油而被人笑吗
[13:41] I’ve suffered. 我经历过痛苦
[13:43] I’ve denied myself. 我否认过自己
[13:44] Because the rules said if I did that, 就因为规则上说 只要这样做
[13:47] I would live longer. 就能活得更久
[13:48] But then, halfway through the game, 然后 游戏玩到一半
[13:50] I get this little update that it doesn’t matter what I do. 我才得知 做什么其实都无所谓
[13:54] I could eat powdered bran every day 就算我天天补充粗纤维
[13:55] while you suck down figgy pudding, 而你大口大口吞甜品
[13:57] and I still might die first. 我还是会早你一步驾鹤
[13:59] It’s unfair! I want my donuts back. 真不公平 我想把甜甜圈都吃回来
[14:02] Well, I think you’re being a little childish, and– 我觉得你有点小孩子脾气 而且
[14:07] Hold on a sec. I need to use my force field 等等 我要用限制令
[14:09] to prevent Chang from getting food. 让昌吃不到东西
[14:40] Where were we? Look… 说到哪了 听着
[14:43] The way I see it, while claiming to have no religion, 就我看来 虽然你自称无神论者
[14:46] you were actually devoutly worshipping yourself. 实际你是在虔诚地崇拜自我
[14:48] And now that your god has high cholesterol, 现在你的上帝胆固醇高了点
[14:51] you’re trying to kick Pierce’s in the balls. 你就想方设法为难皮尔斯
[14:56] You’re right. 你说得对
[14:58] All I’ve been trying to do is crush Pierce’s faith 我一直在打击皮尔斯的信仰
[15:01] to feel better about dying. 好让自己不那么惧怕死亡
[15:02] And… 然后呢
[15:03] And now that I realize that that was my goal… 然后我意识到这就是我的目标
[15:05] Mm-hmm? 接着说
[15:07] I can really roll up my sleeves 我就能撸起袖子
[15:09] and get it done. 重拳出击
[15:10] – There it is. – Thank you! -就是这样 -多谢
[15:11] You’re welcome. 客气客气
[15:13] No, that wasn’t what I– 其实我不是那意思
[15:15] Actually, I don’t care. 其实我无所谓
[15:19] Hey girls, guess who found buddha. 姑娘们 看看谁顿悟了
[15:20] – Hey. – Hi. -好啊 -好啊
[15:22] We’re on our way to pierce’s buddhist open hive. 我们准备去参加皮尔斯的佛教露天集会
[15:25] But first I’m taking these fellows for ice cream 不过我要先请他们吃冰淇淋
[15:27] as an apology for questioning Pierce’s faith. 作为质疑皮尔斯信仰的赔礼
[15:29] Pierce says there’s this 69th flavor I need to try. 皮尔斯说我该尝尝69号口味
[15:32] I am excited. 好兴奋哟
[15:34] Hey, guys, my car’s over there. 伙计们 我车在那边
[15:35] Cool. 好极了
[15:37] Guess what. 猜猜怎么着
[15:38] I’m not actually taking them for ice cream. 我不是要请他们去吃冰淇淋
[15:40] I am taking them to the county morgue 我要带他们去地方停尸房
[15:42] where I have confirmed that 我已经确认过
[15:44] Pierce’s mother’s very un-vaporized corpse 皮尔斯母亲质感十足的尸体
[15:46] will be lying on a stainless steel slab for all to see. 会躺在不锈钢板上候着我们
[15:50] Surprise! Welcome to reality. 大惊喜 欢迎来到现实
[15:52] Welcome to death. 欢迎面对死亡
[15:54] – Have fun. – Good luck. -玩得开心 -祝你好运
[15:55] Wow. 不是吧
[15:57] You guys are real downers. 你俩真不是一般的扫兴鬼
[15:58] I can’t believe I made out with both of you. 真不敢相信我跟你俩都有过一腿
[16:00] Ugh. 真没眼力
[16:02] I’ll check the basket. 我看看筹了多少钱了
[16:05] Sorry. 抱歉
[16:06] I almost arched my back a little. 我差点弯腰了
[16:08] I know you hate that. 我知道你讨厌这戏码
[16:09] No, I should count it. Since I’m a calculating bitch. 应该我来数 因为我是个辎铢必争的贱人
[16:11] No, I should, since I’m the one 我来 因为我才是
[16:13] who’s whoring out our gender! 装嗲卖乖的那位
[16:15] – Give that back to me. – I’m gonna count it! -还给我 -我来数
[16:16] – Let go! – Gimme that! -放手 -给我
[16:26] Oh, yeah? Think this is funny? 咋滴 觉得好玩是不
[16:28] – You think it’s funny? – Get off of me! -觉得好玩是不 -别碰我
[16:30] You little brat! 你个小疯子
[16:34] I hate you! 我恨你
[16:36] Now, this is why I came to America. 我就是冲这个才搬来美利坚
[16:40] Maybe we should listen to some music. 咱们放点音乐听吧
[16:42] No problem. 可以啊
[16:43] I brought the jam book from the Pierce mobile. 我把本人精选集带过来了
[16:45] I could play some of the old stuff, 本来可以放些怀旧金曲
[16:47] but you guys would make fun of me. 但你们就又有机会拿我开涮了
[16:49] So… 那么
[16:50] 给你俩点甜头 就从肯尼・罗根斯开始吧 I’ll throw ya… a bone and put in some Loggins.
[16:50] [70年代开始走红的音乐才子]
[16:54] This ice cream place is far. 这家冰淇淋店好远啊
[16:55] Trust me. It’s worth it. 相信我 路远是值得的
[16:58] What’s this? 这是什么
[17:00] This is mom’s handwriting. 这是老妈的笔迹
[17:01] Is that what you were doing in the garage, 原来你在车库就是弄这个啊
[17:04] you silly goose? 笨老妈
[17:05] She spent her last moments alive making a CD? 她在弥留之际灌制了一张CD?
[17:10] That’s gangster! 经典黑帮桥段
[17:12] Pierce, you found the CD, 皮尔斯 既然你发现了CD
[17:15] which means… I’m dead. 这就意味着 我已经死了
[17:17] Vaporized. 气化了
[17:18] I’m not vaporized. I’m gone, Pierce. 我没有气化 皮尔斯 我死了
[17:22] Gone forever and… 永远地离开了
[17:24] That’s how I like it. 其实这样挺好
[17:27] Life is only worth a damn because it’s short. 人生苦短 生命的价值本就不大
[17:32] It’s designed to be consumed, used, 生命的意义就在于感受每一天
[17:35] spent, lived, felt. 充分利用每一寸光阴
[17:39] We’re supposed to fill it with every mistake 我们应该用错误和奇迹
[17:41] and miracle we can manage. 去充实生命的每一刻
[17:44] And then we’re supposed to let go. 到最后 更应该坦然放手
[17:47] I can’t force you to do that for yourself, Pierce. 皮尔斯 我不能勉强你对自己放手
[17:52] But you can’t force me to stay. 但你也不能勉强我留下
[17:55] And if you unscrew the top of that stupid thing, 如果你拧开那破玩意儿的顶部
[17:59] You’ll see it was made in china. 你会发现”中国制造”四个字
[18:02] I love you, son. 我爱你 儿子
[18:04] Good-bye. 再见了
[18:06] I’ll play myself out. 我自己来个退场曲
[18:18] Well, that proves one thing. 这正好证明了一件事
[18:20] That woman was really losing her marbles toward the end. 这女人终究晚节不保 临了还是疯了
[18:29] You…seriously still think she’s in there? 你真觉得她还在这瓶子里?
[18:32] Why wouldn’t I? 为啥不信
[18:37] No reason. 没啥
[18:42] So…where’s this ice cream place? 冰淇淋店到底在哪儿
[18:44] – Yeah. – Oh…um… -在哪儿 -那个…
[18:46] You know, the– I think I… 其实 我
[18:49] actually saw a better one back there. 刚才在路上看到一家更好的
[18:50] The place I was gonna take you was…kinda depressing. 本来想带你们去的那家 气氛不大好
[18:57] Oh, can we get a little more sawdust on that storm gutter? 能多洒点木屑在排水沟上吗
[19:00] Thank you! 谢谢
[19:03] – I’m sorry– – I’m sorry too. -对不起 -我也很抱歉
[19:05] I just got jealous of you. 我对你有些妒嫉了
[19:07] No, but you totally called me on what I was doing, 别这样说 你是一语惊醒梦中人
[19:09] And… I only kissed Jeff 还有 我吻杰夫
[19:11] because I wanted to see if I could do it, 只因为我想知道自己能否吻到
[19:12] because I wanna be cool and sexy like you. 因为我想和你一样又潮又性感
[19:14] I can’t believe how gross I am. 我真不敢相信自己这么恶心
[19:16] I only slept with Jeff because I hate myself, 我讨厌自己 所以我才和杰夫上床的
[19:18] and that’s why I got after you for raising money. 筹款的事我看你不爽 也是因为我讨厌自己
[19:21] I’m twice as gross. 我是恶心乘以二
[19:23] And you know the reason 还有一件事
[19:24] that we raised more money in five minutes of oil wrestling 我们油中互博5分钟募集的钱比前两天都多
[19:27] than we did in two days of fundraising? 你知道为什么吗
[19:29] Because… men are even grosser? 因为男人是恶心的平方?
[19:31] And when we forget that, they win. 如果我们忘了这点 他们就胜利了
[19:38] Yeah. All right. 真好
[19:39] – All right, all right. – Yeah, do it. -真好真好 -对嘛 快来点实质性的
[19:42] Oh, so you got actual ice cream. 看来你们真的去买冰淇淋了
[19:44] Yeah. With peanut butter and hot fudge. 对啊 还淋上了花生酱和巧克力
[19:47] What the hell, right? Nobody lives forever. 去他个球 是人就会死
[19:50] No offense. 不要介意
[19:51] Nah, think what you want. It’s a free country. 没事儿 随你咋想 这是自由的国度
[19:54] I barely saw this week, Abed, 阿布蒂 这星期都没怎么看到你
[19:56] What have you been up to? 忙什么呢
[19:58] Not much. 没忙啥
[20:01] What? 干什么
[20:01] Whoa! Busted! 25 feet! 逮到你了 25英尺以内了
[20:03] Which puts you in violation 违规的可是你
[20:05] of this restraining order I filed against you 我申请了对付你的限制令
[20:08] for abusing me with your restraining order! 因为你用你的限制令来折磨我
[20:14] Mutually assured destruction. 两相抵消
[20:18] Well played, Chang. 厉害啊 昌
[20:20] Thank you. 谢谢
[20:24] That means a lot. 一句胜千言
[20:25] Do you mind getting a quick photo of me 帮我和两位油兮兮的美女
[20:26] with the oily coeds? 拍张合影好吗
[20:28] – Center button. – Okay. -中间的按钮 -好的
[20:29] – You’re the man. – Yeah, no problem. -你真好 -别客气
[20:33] 辣妹泄油事件
[20:38] 他们如何能进入他的潜意识
[20:41] 那只是汤姆・贝伦杰的臆想
[20:41] [《盗梦空间》中Peter Browning的扮演者]
[20:43] He… not a projection. 他 那不是臆想
[20:45] 是那个英国佬假扮成了汤姆・贝伦杰 He’s the British guy pretending to be Tom Berenger.
[20:48] 但他们必须得进入那个臆想
[20:51] 汤姆・贝伦杰的臆想
[20:53] It was a mislead. 那是误导
[20:54] That’s the whole point of “Inception”. 这可是《盗梦空间》的要旨所在
[20:56] Subversion of reality. 现实的颠覆
[20:58] 我浆糊了
[21:00] 我也整不明白为啥你要跟我拽英语
[21:04] He hasn’t seen it yet! 他还没看呢 表剧透
[21:07] 不是吧
废柴联盟

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