| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Good morning, Greendale! | 早安 格林德尔 |
| [00:04] | As you know, it is April fool’s day. | 众所周知 今天是愚人节 |
| [00:06] | Just kidding–it’s the day before April fool’s. | 开个玩笑 明天才是愚人节 |
| [00:11] | You know what, Leonard? Strike two! | 伦纳德 再惹我一次你就三振出局 |
| [00:15] | Anyway, just reminding you to keep any April fool’s prank | 总之 只是提醒大家在开愚人节玩笑时 |
| [00:19] | physically safe, politically balanced, | 要注意安全 力保和谐 |
| [00:21] | and racially accessible. | 尊重各民族人民 |
| [00:23] | When in doubt, check the guidelines | 拿不准的 可以参考 |
| [00:25] | in our college pranks literature. | 本校玩笑大全中的准则 |
| [00:26] | “Guidelines for School-sanctioned Pranks.” | 《校方批准玩笑守则》 |
| [00:30] | Huh, reminds me of my favorite college comedy. | 让我想起我最爱的校园喜剧了 |
| [00:32] | – Oh, which one? – Exactly. | -哪一部 -就是那部 |
| [00:34] | See, the dean doesn’t get it. | 明白没 院长根本就不懂 |
| [00:36] | The point of a practical joke is to shake up the system. | 恶作剧的重点就在于新意 |
| [00:38] | For example, who wants some of these? | 举例来说 谁要来点这个 |
| [00:41] | Cool, yeah. | 好啊 |
| [00:46] | Looking for something? | 在找啥呢 |
| [00:47] | Nice. | 漂亮 |
| [00:49] | They allow student volunteers for campus security | 在恶作剧高发时间段 |
| [00:51] | during times of heightened shenanigans. | 学生可以自愿加入校保安队 |
| [00:53] | I want to be security. | 我想当保安 |
| [00:55] | Let’s do it together. We can be partners. | 一起去吧 我们可以做搭档 |
| [00:57] | That’s a buddy cop movie I would watch. | 这要是拍成《绝色战警》我肯定会看 |
| [00:59] | But I wonder which of you would be by the book, | 不知道你们中间谁是乖乖警察 |
| [01:00] | and which of you would be the bad-ass. | 谁又是不按理出牌的无敌战警 |
| [01:02] | Abed, you’re so silly. | 阿布蒂 你犯傻了吧 |
| [01:04] | I’d be the bad-ass. | 当然我是无敌战警 |
| [01:06] | Greetings, mortals! | 早安 众卿家 |
| [01:08] | Morning! Snake in a can? | 早安 罐中蛇要吃不 |
| [01:10] | No, thanks. I’m fasting. | 不用 谢谢 我在斋戒 |
| [01:12] | My buddhist church | 我所在的教会 |
| [01:13] | is having its annual ascension ceremony, | 正在举行一年一度的升级仪式 |
| [01:15] | and I will be becoming | 而我将成为 |
| [01:17] | a level six laser lotus. | 六级激光莲座巫师 |
| [01:23] | I know. I was speechless too. | 我知道 我当时也目瞪口呆了 |
| [01:25] | Anyway, I have to detoxify for the ceremony. | 总之 我要为仪式清除体内毒素 |
| [01:27] | I get all the nutrients I need with salt water and honey. | 只喝盐水和蜂蜜来补充必要的营养 |
| [01:34] | Even better if it goes down the wrong– | 要是能从另一个孔里排出来 |
| [01:36] | the wrong pipe. | 就更好了 |
| [01:37] | So what happens in level six? | 练到六级会怎样 |
| [01:40] | Well, nobody in my hive has ever seen a six. | 我们教会里就没有人见过六级巫师 |
| [01:43] | But, uh, from what I hear, | 但是 我听说 |
| [01:44] | I’ll have immunity to germs, | 我将对病菌有免疫力 |
| [01:45] | heightened psychic ability, | 有强大的通灵能力 |
| [01:47] | and improved night vision. | 而且夜视能力变强 |
| [01:48] | Any bonuses to your kombat score? | 打游戏的水平会有提高不 |
| [01:50] | I assume I’ll fight better if I can see more. | 能看见更多 我当然能打的更好 |
| [01:52] | Dumb ass. | 傻蛋 |
| [01:53] | Hey, Pierce, I just remembered. | 皮尔斯 我刚想起来 |
| [01:56] | Right before you got here, some guy was delivering | 就在你进来之前 有人给你送来东西 |
| [01:59] | level six ceremonial robes? | 是六级仪式长袍 |
| [02:01] | What?! Why didn’t you tell me? | 啥 你怎么不早说 |
| [02:03] | Maybe if you run, you can catch him. | 你要是跑着去 也许能追上他 |
| [02:05] | Way to use your brain, Winger. | 你的脑子真是白长了 翁格 |
| [02:08] | Abed, how fast can you run to the theater department? | 阿布蒂 你跑到戏剧系最快要多久 |
| [02:11] | 37 seconds. | 三十七秒 |
| [02:12] | Don’t come back without something ridiculous. Go. | 没拿到搞笑的东西就别回来 去吧 |
| [02:14] | Got it. | 明白 |
| [02:16] | Guys, you realize you’re exploiting the naivete | 伙计们 捉弄这个被邪教洗了脑的脑残 |
| [02:19] | of a man who is being brainwashed by a cult? | 你们好意思吗 |
| [02:22] | Oh, well, it sounds a lot less fun when you say it. | 被你说出来怎么就变无趣了呢 |
| [02:24] | Everything does. She’s a buzz kill. | 什么事都这样 她是个专扫乐趣的”扫帚星” |
| [02:27] | I’m not a buzz kill. | 我不是”扫帚星” |
| [02:29] | Yeah, that doesn’t really describe it. | 没错 这词还不够准确 |
| [02:31] | You’re more of a fun vampire, | 你更像是吸趣衰人 |
| [02:33] | Because you don’t suck blood, you just suck. | 因为你不吸血 只是衰而已 |
| [02:35] | He wasn’t there. | 没找到人 |
| [02:38] | Oh, I think Abed found him. | 我想阿布蒂找到他了 |
| [02:39] | Hey, give me that. | 把它给我 |
| [02:46] | Ohh. It’s amazing. | 太棒了 |
| [02:50] | It is absolutely gorgeous. | 太漂亮了 |
| [02:52] | How do I look? | 我看起来怎么样 |
| [02:53] | May I? | 我来帮你 |
| [02:55] | – Magical. – Great. | -魔法般的效果 -棒极了 |
| [03:00] | Of course, the only one who doesn’t like this is Britta. | 当然 只有布雷塔不喜欢 |
| [03:02] | Do you ever get tired of being a buzz kill? | 你一直当个扫乐趣的扫帚不累吗 |
| [03:12] | This is gonna be exciting, ladies. | 激动人心的时刻到来了 女士们 |
| [03:14] | I hereby deputize you | 我在这里任命你们 |
| [03:17] | as campus security for 48 hours. | 担任校保安48小时 |
| [03:20] | Your windbreakers. | 你的防风夹克 |
| [03:24] | Your whistles. | 你们的口哨 |
| [03:29] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [03:34] | Okay, now, I only have the one pepper spray. | 好的 我现在只有一瓶防狼喷雾 |
| [03:37] | It’s mine. | 是我的 |
| [03:38] | But I’ll just get my groceries in a better neighborhood this week. | 我牺牲一下 这周去安全点的小区购物 |
| [03:41] | I’ll carry it. | 给我吧 |
| [03:42] | Between the two of us, I’m sort of the bad-ass. | 我俩中 我才是无敌战警 |
| [03:45] | You are? Uh, how do you figure? | 是吗 你怎么得出这个结论的 |
| [03:47] | I don’t know, Shirley. | 我不知道 雪瑞 |
| [03:48] | How did you figure I wasn’t? | 你又是怎么知道我不是呢 |
| [03:49] | I guess I didn’t figure because I was too busy | 我想是因为我这个无敌战警太忙 |
| [03:51] | being the obvious bad-ass. | 没时间琢磨这事 |
| [03:52] | Sounds like we’re both pretty convinced. | 看来我们意志都很坚决 |
| [03:55] | I guess we’ll find out who’s right once we’re on the job. | 等我们开始工作了就能见分晓了 |
| [03:57] | I guess we will. | 我想是的 |
| [03:58] | I’m sorry, what is going on here? | 打断一下 这是什么情况 |
| [04:01] | A twist on a classic formula. Normally, with buddy cops, | 对经典角色设置的纠结 通常在警察搭档里 |
| [04:03] | one’s a straight-laced stickler, and the other’s a renegade. | 一位是拘泥于程序的呆子 另一位则是叛逆者 |
| [04:05] | But these two have equal claim to both roles. | 但这俩人都想当叛逆者 |
| [04:08] | And why are you here? | 你又是从哪冒出来的 |
| [04:10] | Short answer? | 长话短说吗 |
| [04:11] | My cable went out. | 没钱看有线电视了 |
| [04:15] | Hey… can I run something by you? | 给你说点事好吗 |
| [04:18] | I was thinking of pulling a little prank tonight | 我在琢磨今晚搞个恶作剧 |
| [04:20] | All right. | 好吧 |
| [04:21] | For April fool’s, a prank. | 愚人节搞恶作剧 有意思 |
| [04:23] | So you know how they have live frogs | 你知道咱们这有活青蛙吧 |
| [04:25] | in the anatomy lab? | 就在解剖实验室里 |
| [04:26] | Oh, yeah. | 知道 |
| [04:27] | So I was gonna sneak in there, get a frog, | 我打算溜进去 拿一只青蛙 |
| [04:29] | And then tomorrow, | 然后 明天 |
| [04:31] | When Senor Chang’s class is coming in, | 当昌老师来上课的时候 |
| [04:32] | there will be a frog on his desk | 他的桌子上就会有一只青蛙 |
| [04:35] | wearing… | 还戴着 |
| [04:42] | – Oh, you’re done. – Did you read the hat? | -就这样啊 -你看见帽子上的字没 |
| [04:45] | – Senor Chang. – Yeah. | -昌老师 -是啊 |
| [04:47] | Oh, you don’t get it. | 你没听懂笑点啊 |
| [04:49] | – I guess I don’t. – The frog is Chang. | -确实没懂 -这只青蛙就是昌 |
| [04:52] | Okay, I did get it. It’s funny. | 好吧 原来我懂了 很有意思 |
| [04:54] | I know it’s funny. Oh, wait, I forgot– | 我知道 等等 我忘了 |
| [04:57] | It’s not your kind of joke. It’s not at anyone’s expense. | 这可不是翁格版的恶作剧 这不会伤害到任何人 |
| [04:59] | Britta, why waste your time envying my gift for levity | 布雷塔 干嘛要把时间浪费在嫉妒我的搞笑天赋上 |
| [05:01] | when there’s so much you could be doing | 你明明可以运用你的无趣天赋 |
| [05:03] | with your natural talent for severity? | 去做那么多有意义的事 |
| [05:04] | You know what? | 知道不 |
| [05:05] | My prank is gonna cause a sea of laughter, | 我的恶作剧将掀起一轮欢乐海啸 |
| [05:08] | and I am gonna watch you drown in it. | 而我要眼睁睁地看着你淹没在其中 |
| [05:10] | That a girl! | 有魄力 |
| [05:14] | Seven. | 七 |
| [05:16] | That’s right. | 猜对了 |
| [05:18] | Jeff, I can read minds. | 杰夫 我会读心术了 |
| [05:20] | No way. | 不可能 |
| [05:22] | What color am I thinking of? | 我现在在想什么颜色 |
| [05:24] | Pink? | 粉色 |
| [05:25] | What the hey? | 真有你的 |
| [05:28] | Must be the robe. | 肯定是长袍的魔力 |
| [05:29] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [05:30] | Hey…cookie crisp. | 曲奇饼干[包装上宣传形像是巫师] |
| [05:32] | Cookie crisp. | 曲奇饼干 |
| [05:33] | Is he talking to me? | 他是在叫我吗 |
| [05:35] | No. No. | 不是 不是 |
| [05:36] | Hey, Pierce, that guy came back that brought your robes | 皮尔斯 那个给你送长袍的人又来了 |
| [05:38] | and said he forgot to deliver…this. | 说他忘了送这个 |
| [05:42] | What is it? | 这是什么 |
| [05:43] | He said it focuses your powers? | 他说这个可以聚集你的魔力 |
| [05:54] | Is that a cookie? | 这不是曲奇饼干吗 |
| [05:57] | Maybe it’s a piece of meteor. | 或许是流星碎片做的魔杖 |
| [05:59] | Buddha arrived on a meteor! | 教主就曾到过流星上 |
| [06:01] | When was the last time he ate? | 他多久没吃饭了 |
| [06:03] | I am the coolest guy | 我是世界上 |
| [06:05] | in the world. | 最拉风的男人 |
| [06:24] | Hello, Mr. Frog. | 你好啊 青蛙先生 |
| [06:26] | Can I just borrow you for a second? | 能借我用一会吗 |
| [06:32] | “I’m Senor Chang” | 我是昌老师 |
| [06:35] | Now tell me that’s not funny. | 谁敢说这不好笑 |
| [06:39] | Wait! | 等等 |
| [06:40] | Here froggy, here froggy. | 小青蛙 到这来 |
| [06:43] | Here froggy. | 小青蛙 到这来 |
| [06:49] | Now real quiet. | 悄无声息地 |
| [07:08] | Oh, that’s horrible. | 太可怕了 |
| [07:12] | Oh, god, that’s horrible! | 天啊 真是太可怕了 |
| [07:13] | Someone dropped a dead body out that window. | 有人从窗户里抛出一具死尸 |
| [07:19] | This was a brand-new sign, so… | 这是个崭新的标识牌 所以 |
| [07:21] | I just don’t want this to tarnish our school’s reputation. | 我可不想让这件事败坏了学校的名誉 |
| [07:24] | Don’t worry, your school’s reputation is way worse than this. | 别担心 你们学校的名誉还不如这事儿呢 |
| [07:28] | Oh… Here’s our campus security. | 我们的学院保安来了 |
| [07:30] | Yeah, just stop right there. | 就停在那儿吧 |
| [07:31] | Oh, ladies, don’t pull up on that– | 女士们 别往那儿停 |
| [07:36] | Oh, Annie. | 安妮 |
| [07:37] | Mornin’, boys. | 早啊 小伙子们 |
| [07:38] | I’m Annie Edison. | 我叫安妮·埃迪生 |
| [07:40] | People call me “Psycho” | 人称”疯妞儿” |
| [07:41] | Because I had a nervous breakdown in high school. | 因为我上高中时曾经精神崩溃过 |
| [07:43] | My partner’s a Christian housewife. | 我搭档是个基督教家庭主妇 |
| [07:45] | Can we help you? | 有什么需要帮忙的 |
| [07:47] | Actually, can we not help you? | 其实是 我们能不帮你们吗 |
| [07:49] | I tend to play by my own rules. | 我喜欢按自己的规矩来 |
| [07:51] | She loves rules. I only have one. | 她喜欢规矩 我只有一条规矩 |
| [07:53] | Stay out of my way. | 别挡住我办案 |
| [07:59] | Stay out of mine more. | 别挡住我办 大案 |
| [08:00] | You know what? This is misdemeanor vandalism. | 听着 这只是起破坏公物的轻罪 |
| [08:03] | You ladies can take care of it yourselves. | 你们娘子军完全可以自己处理 |
| [08:08] | Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait– What? | 等一下 什么 |
| [08:10] | Call us when you find a perp. | 等你找到嫌犯时给我们打电话 |
| [08:11] | Yeah, we’ll be waiting. | 对 我们等着你 |
| [08:14] | – You go. – I’m about to. | -你来 -我正要过去 |
| [08:15] | Now look what you have done! | 看看你们干了什么 |
| [08:16] | Tell them they got 24 hours to solve the case. | 告诉她们只有24小时来破案 |
| [08:18] | They do! You have 24 hours to solve it, or else. | 当然 限你们24小时内破案 否则… |
| [08:21] | Figure it out! | 搞定它 |
| [08:25] | That’s the poster. | 宣传海报有了 |
| [08:26] | Well, this is the part of my job | 这是我工作中 |
| [08:28] | that I enjoy the least. | 最不喜欢的一部分 |
| [08:30] | The part where I inform you that, last night, | 那就是 我告诉你们 昨晚 |
| [08:33] | someone murdered a partially clothed animal | 有人谋杀了一只衣冠不整的动物 |
| [08:37] | and threw a human corpse out a window. | 还把一具人类尸体扔出窗外 |
| [08:40] | And you can thank the person that did it, | 你们可以感谢此人的行径 |
| [08:42] | a person that may be in this room. | 此人可能就在这个房间里 |
| [08:44] | For the fact that, from now on, | 鉴于此事 从现在开始 |
| [08:46] | April fool’s day is banished, okay? | 愚人节取消 明白吗 |
| [08:49] | At Greendale, April 1st | 在格林德尔 4月1日 |
| [08:51] | is officially March 32nd, forever! | 永远正式地变为3月32日 |
| [08:54] | How do you know it was one of us? | 你怎么知道是这个班上的人干的 |
| [08:56] | Well, if I may answer a question with a question… | 回答你前 我先问你个问题 |
| [08:59] | Why are you dressed like a wizard? | 你干嘛穿得像个巫师 |
| [09:07] | Okay, is he having a stroke? | 他是不是中风了 |
| [09:09] | I’ll tell you how I know! | 我告诉你们我怎么知道的 |
| [09:10] | Security officers Bennett and Edison | 保安员伯纳德和埃迪生 |
| [09:13] | found this at the scene, hmm? | 在犯罪现场找到了这个 |
| [09:17] | This little hat says “Chang” on it. | 一个写着”昌”字的小帽子 |
| [09:19] | And we ruled out your teacher, | 我们排除了你们的老师 |
| [09:20] | because he has a crippling fear of frogs. | 因为他对青蛙怀有深深的恐惧 |
| [09:23] | I told you that in confidence! | 我跟你说过这是悄悄话 |
| [09:25] | How about whoever did this just fesses up? | 不管是谁干的 坦白从宽 |
| [09:35] | All right, that wasn’t just a cadaver | 好吧 扔出窗外的尸体不仅仅 |
| [09:37] | that was thrown out that window. It was a person. | 只是一具尸体 他曾经是一个活人 |
| [09:39] | With family and friends. | 有家人和朋友 |
| [09:41] | And for every day that nobody confesses, | 你们一天没人招供 |
| [09:45] | this class will be meeting one of them, hmm? | 那么每天班上就会来一个他的亲朋好友 |
| [09:48] | Glenda! Oh, I apologize. | 格伦达 不好意思 |
| [09:50] | – Can you come on in here, hmm? – Yes. | -你能进来吗 -好的 |
| [09:52] | And tell us about your son. | 跟大家谈谈你的儿子吧 |
| [09:54] | Oh, yes. Hello, everyone. | 好的 大家好 |
| [09:57] | Hello. | 你好 |
| [10:03] | Harry was a wonderful man. | 哈里是个非常棒的人 |
| [10:05] | He kept a dream journal. | 他有一本梦境日记 |
| [10:08] | Page one. | 第一页 |
| [10:09] | “I had that dream again | “我又做了那个梦 |
| [10:11] | where I’m in a forest. | 我在一片森林里 |
| [10:14] | But the trees are pencils.” | 但是树变成了铅笔” |
| [10:21] | Impressive. | 太令人印象深刻了 |
| [10:23] | And hilarious. | 而且令人捧腹啊 |
| [10:24] | You gonna ‘fess up, weirdo? | 你准备去坦白从宽吗 怪胎 |
| [10:26] | Look, it wasn’t me. | 听着 不是我干的 |
| [10:29] | And even if it was, | 就算是我干的 |
| [10:31] | this was an accident. | 这是个意外 |
| [10:33] | I knew it. Nicely done. | 我就知道 干的不错 |
| [10:34] | If I come forward, | 如果我自首了 |
| [10:35] | it’s gonna play into the whole | 整件事就会变成名为 |
| [10:37] | “Britta’s a buzz kill” mythology. | “布雷塔是扫帚星”的传奇神话 |
| [10:38] | Well, the toe tag fits, Britta. | 说的很在理 布雷塔 |
| [10:40] | I mean, you single-handedly killed an entire school’s buzz, | 你看 你单枪匹马就扫了全校人的兴 |
| [10:44] | not to mention a frog. | 更别提那青蛙的一缕孤魂 |
| [10:45] | And according to Glenda, | 但听格伦达说 |
| [10:47] | cadaver Harry had 13 nieces and nephews | 死尸哈里有13个侄子侄女儿 |
| [10:49] | that I’m not interested in meeting. | 我对会见亲友实在毫无兴趣 |
| [10:50] | So you better think about coming clean | 所以你最好全盘招供 |
| [10:52] | or I’m just gonna tell everybody you did it. | 不然我就要告诉大家是你干的 |
| [11:01] | Star-burns doesn’t do very much. | 星霸的动作不多 |
| [11:02] | I guess fascinating people | 我想真正有吸引力的人 |
| [11:03] | don’t resort to growing shapes on their faces. | 不屑于在脸上长出个怪形状 |
| [11:05] | He makes one false move, and I’m gonna go Shirley on him. | 他敢乱动一下 我马上对他使雪瑞必杀技 |
| [11:07] | That’s what my high school friends called crazy. | 我高中的朋友都说这招很疯狂 |
| [11:09] | Yeah? Are you gonna go Shirlier than I did | 是吗 你的雪瑞必杀技 |
| [11:12] | when I got addicted to pills? | 会比我毒品上瘾时更疯狂吗 |
| [11:14] | Why are you so concerned with being a bad-ass? | 你干嘛那么想当个无敌战警 |
| [11:15] | Maybe I’m tired of everyone | 也许是因为我厌倦了 |
| [11:17] | thinking of me a little girl. | 每个人都认为我是个小姑娘 |
| [11:18] | Maybe I wanna be in charge of how I’m defined. | 我想变成 我的地盘我做主 |
| [11:20] | Well, how do you think I feel? | 知道我的感受吗 |
| [11:21] | You have two kids, and they stick you in the margins– | 当你有两个孩子 并让你陷在生活边缘… |
| [11:23] | I’m not done yet. I still got moves. | 我依然宝刀未老 必杀技威力尚在 |
| [11:25] | I haven’t even started yet. | 我的宝刀还未出过鞘呢 |
| [11:27] | I’ve got moves I haven’t even seen before. | 我有连我自己都没见过的必杀技 |
| [11:32] | Blocked call. | 不明来电 |
| [11:35] | Edison. | 我是埃迪生 |
| [11:36] | The man you’re looking for | 你们要找的人 |
| [11:37] | is Jeff Winger. | 是杰夫·翁格 |
| [11:39] | – Jeff Winger. – Who is this? | -杰夫·翁格 -你是哪位 |
| [11:43] | I didn’t recognize the voice. | 没听出声音是谁的 |
| [11:44] | They say Jeff Winger’s our man. | 但线人说杰夫·翁格就是我们要找的人 |
| [11:48] | Drop ’em if you smoke ’em. | 该出手时就出手 |
| [11:49] | – Cut to action sequence. – Let’s roll. | -转向动作场景 -出发 |
| [11:52] | Security comin’ through. | 保安正式登场 |
| [11:56] | Mr. Winger. | 翁格先生 |
| [11:57] | Cagney, Lacey. What can I do you for? | 凯格妮 雷丝 有什么我可以效劳的 |
| [12:00] | Just doing a routine search. | 例行检查而已 |
| [12:02] | What is this? What do you have here? | 这是什么 你放什么在这里了 |
| [12:04] | – That’s my chest. – Why don’t you spread ’em? | -这是我的胸部 -亮出来看看 |
| [12:06] | – Huh? – Okay. guys… | -怕了 -行了 |
| [12:07] | I can pat. | 我会搜 |
| [12:08] | I can do it too. | 我也会搜 |
| [12:09] | So, uh, what do you got in the bag? | 背包里有什么 |
| [12:14] | Let’s see what we have here. | 来看看有什么发现 |
| [12:16] | Holy mary, mother of pearl. | 乖乖隆滴咚 |
| [12:19] | What do we have here? | 看看发现了什么 |
| [12:21] | Looks like enough tiny items | 看上去有足够的小配件 |
| [12:22] | to equip an amphibious mariachi band. | 组一个墨西哥民间乐队 |
| [12:24] | Of frogs. | 青蛙之队 |
| [12:25] | – That is not my stuff. – Hmm. | -这些不是我的 -是嘛 |
| [12:26] | Britta. Britta planted that. | 布雷塔 我被她算计了 |
| [12:29] | Sure she did. | 她是算计你了 |
| [12:30] | Tell that to what our equivalent of a judge is. | 找和我们有相同判断力的人哭诉去吧 |
| [12:36] | Ooh, he’s getting away! | 居然让他跑了 |
| [12:37] | – Oh, stop! – I’m not gonna like you! | -给我站住 -我可没你那么轻盈 |
| [12:39] | Go, go! Come on. | 快快 快点 |
| [12:44] | Okay, he’s right there. You gotta go faster! | 他在那里 快点 |
| [12:47] | What are these doing here? | 为什么这里杵了两根柱子 |
| [12:49] | He’s getting away! | 给他跑了 |
| [12:50] | Go after him on foot. | 跑去追啊 |
| [12:51] | I’m going after him on foot. | 我跑去追 |
| [12:52] | Cut him off on the other side. | 从另一边包抄 |
| [12:54] | I’m cutting him off on the other side! | 我从另一边包抄 |
| [12:55] | Tell me what you doin’. | 小妞居然敢给我脸色看 |
| [12:58] | Stop, or I’ll shoot! | 站住 我要开枪了 |
| [13:00] | I said stop! | 给我站住 |
| [13:05] | Oh, god, no! | 我的妈呀 不要 |
| [13:12] | Oh, it burns! | 好痛哦 |
| [13:21] | Uh-huh. Oh, great. He got away! | 这下好了 给他跑了 |
| [13:24] | Good job. | 干的好 |
| [13:25] | He got away because of your driving, grandma. | 他跑掉是因为你车开得太慢 老奶奶 |
| [13:28] | Oh, I beg your pardon. Hannah Montana! | 你说啥 你这个黄毛丫头汉娜·蒙塔娜[少女明星角色] |
| [13:30] | Oh! I’m sorry. Are you hard of hearing? | 没听清吗 你的听觉已经老化了吗 |
| [13:32] | You know what? This is why you have hardly any friends. | 这就是你没几个朋友的原因 |
| [13:34] | Looks like I have one less now. | 貌似又少了一个朋友 |
| [13:36] | Do I look like I’m crying? | 泪流满面的人不是我 |
| [13:37] | These are not tears! | 这不是眼泪 |
| [13:39] | This is self-inflicted friendly fire, okay? | 这是自我折磨的友情之火 |
| [13:42] | That’s what happens to children! | 这事儿只会发生在小屁孩身上 |
| [13:43] | You have no idea what I’ve been through today! | 你根本无法想像今天我经历了什么 |
| [13:48] | Excuse me… I have to go to the bathroom. | 打扰一下 我要去洗手间 |
| [13:50] | I’ll give you the rest of these chocolate-covered raisins | 如果你帮我看座位 剩下的葡萄干巧克力 |
| [13:51] | if you save my seat. | 就是你的 |
| [14:00] | I don’t want you to feel judged by this, | 希望二位不要觉得被裁定无能 |
| [14:01] | but your handling of this job has disappointed me. | 但你们的工作表现实在让我失望 |
| [14:04] | I mean, your high-speed pursuit | 你们的闪电追捕行动 |
| [14:06] | caused $78 dollars worth of damages. | 造成了78美元的损失 |
| [14:09] | And you didn’t even get a statement out of Mr. Winger? | 而一句”你有权保持沉默”都来不及对翁格说 |
| [14:11] | – He got away. – He ran between two poles. | -被他给溜了 -从两根柱子间溜了 |
| [14:14] | Well, I see how that would be frustrating, | 我知道这令人沮丧 |
| [14:16] | – but the fact is… – Your ass is on the line. | -但是 -背黑锅的是我 |
| [14:18] | My ass is on the line. | 背黑锅的是我 |
| [14:20] | You just got off the phone with the mayor. | 刚刚接到市长的电话 |
| [14:21] | I just got off the phone with the– | 我刚刚接到市长的电… |
| [14:23] | What? The mayor? Stop doing that! | 什么 市长 消停下行不 |
| [14:24] | I’m trying to help. You’re not doing this right. | 我在帮忙 你完全不上道儿 |
| [14:25] | Well, maybe you should do it. | 那你来吧 |
| [14:29] | I’m sick and tired of making excuses for you two! | 保你们保得我都烦了累了 |
| [14:33] | You’re an embarrassment to the department! | 学院的脸都给你们丢尽了 |
| [14:34] | You’re off the case and off the force. | 这案子没你们啥事儿了 |
| [14:36] | Your badges, your windbreakers, now. | 立刻交出徽章和防风夹克 |
| [14:38] | Now! I ain’t got all day! | 快点 没时间跟你们耗 |
| [14:41] | Agitated my sciatica. | 真是顶心顶肺 |
| [14:43] | I’m too old for this! Now get out of my sight. | 折腾我的老骨头 给我出去 |
| [14:46] | Thought you were bad-asses, huh? | 自以为是无敌战警 对不 |
| [14:47] | Real bad-asses work together. | 真正的无敌战警要合作无间 |
| [14:50] | All I see is a housewife and a girl scout. | 您两位也就是师奶和女童军级别了 |
| [14:53] | – Hey! – Abed! | -真过分 -阿布蒂 |
| [14:55] | I said get out! | 我说了 出去 |
| [14:58] | And don’t even think about getting near this case. | 别再想着碰这件案子 |
| [15:02] | Pretty harsh. | 太严厉了 |
| [15:03] | Oh, don’t worry. That’s what they needed. | 别担心 她们需要当头棒喝 |
| [15:08] | Well, that was embarrassing. | 真丢人 |
| [15:09] | I know. | 没错 |
| [15:10] | That african-american police chief character | 由阿布蒂扮演的黑人警官 |
| [15:12] | Abed was playing was right. | 说的没错 |
| [15:13] | We should have worked as a team. | 我们要合作无间 |
| [15:15] | I don’t know about you. | 不知道你怎么想 |
| [15:16] | I don’t need a badge to finish this. | 没徽章我一样搞定这事儿 |
| [15:19] | I say we nail Winger to the wall. | 给翁格来点狠招儿 |
| [15:20] | Together? | 一起上 |
| [15:21] | Together. | 一起上 |
| [15:24] | How do you spell “testicles”? | 睾丸两个字怎么写 |
| [15:26] | Nice frame job, Britta-Dict Arnold. | 很会调转枪头嘛 布雷塔·阿诺德 |
| [15:28] | Ohh! Colonial burn. | 好冷的殖民时期笑话 |
| [15:30] | Come on, Jeff. | 得了 杰夫 |
| [15:31] | Where is that trademark gift for levity? | 你那放荡不羁的搞笑天赋哪儿去了 |
| [15:33] | Well, well, well. | 看看 |
| [15:34] | Look who we found. | 逮到谁了 |
| [15:36] | Yes, how foolish of me to hide | 啊 我居然蠢到匿藏在每日 |
| [15:38] | in my regularly scheduled study group. | 必到的学习小组中 |
| [15:41] | Jeff, ahem, let’s just do this the easy way. | 杰夫 我们简单爽快地了结这事 |
| [15:42] | Confess. | 招了吧 |
| [15:44] | Britta’s the one who threw that body out the window, | 布雷塔才是把尸体弄出窗外的人 |
| [15:45] | and I can prove it. | 我有证据 |
| [15:47] | How? | 证明看看 |
| [15:47] | Britta was going to put a frog | 布雷塔本来打算将一只戴了 |
| [15:49] | wearing a sombrero on Chang’s desk. | 墨西哥宽边帽的青蛙 放在昌的桌上 |
| [15:51] | Because that’s the kind of thing | 因为这种层次的事情 |
| [15:52] | she thinks is funny. | 她认为很搞笑 |
| [15:54] | Don’t you, Britta? | 没错吧 布雷塔 |
| [15:55] | No. | 不对 |
| [15:56] | Then why is there a photo on your facebook page | 那为什么你的分享空间里有一张 |
| [15:58] | of a cat wearing a necktie? | 戴领带的小猫的照片 |
| [16:01] | Pff! It’s my cat. | 展示一下我的猫而已 |
| [16:02] | And the tie makes him… | 那这条小领带显得它格外… |
| [16:06] | Formal. | 庄重 |
| [16:08] | This investigation is going nowhere. | 这种侦查力度没用的 |
| [16:12] | You need a psychic. | 你们需要一位巫师 |
| [16:14] | Perfect. | 真会添乱 |
| [16:15] | Um… this process may alarm you. | 过程可能会让你们害怕 |
| [16:22] | Ooh! Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. | 我的妈呀 龙阳君 断袖癖 |
| [16:24] | So gay. | 断背得一塌糊涂 |
| [16:26] | Dark nightclub. | 黑暗的夜总会 |
| [16:29] | Throbbing music. | 悸动的音乐 |
| [16:31] | Men’s roo– men’s room stall. | 男洗 男洗手间隔断 |
| [16:35] | Penis! | 擎天一柱 |
| [16:37] | Two penises! | 两柱 |
| [16:39] | Agh, this is gay! It’s so gay! | 同志战友 基情无限 |
| [16:43] | – Pierce! – What? | -皮尔斯 -什么 |
| [16:45] | Sit down! | 坐一边儿去 |
| [16:46] | We’ll take it from here. | 这里我们接手 |
| [16:47] | Jeff, where were you last night? | 杰夫 昨晚你在哪里 |
| [16:51] | – At a bar. – Called it! | -酒吧 -早说过了 |
| [16:52] | – Who can confirm that? – Your mama. | -谁能证明 -你母亲大人 |
| [16:54] | – What?! – Well, I’m– | -啥 -那个… |
| [16:57] | What the hell, Annie? | 你撞鬼啦 安妮 |
| [17:00] | Her name’s not Annie. It’s psycho. | 她不叫安妮 她叫疯妞儿 |
| [17:01] | And if I were you, I’d tell her what she wants to hear. | 如果我是你 她想听什么我说什么 |
| [17:03] | That’s right, because if I have to hand you off to Shirley, | 没错 如果你落到雪瑞手上 |
| [17:06] | you’re gonna enter a kitchen of pain. | 同样会身受苦楚 |
| [17:08] | Guys, stop it! | 大伙儿 住手 |
| [17:10] | Stop it. I did it. | 住手 是我做的 |
| [17:12] | I framed Jeff. | 我陷害了杰夫 |
| [17:14] | I’m sorry, Jeff. | 对不起 杰夫 |
| [17:16] | But why? | 为什么呀 |
| [17:17] | Because I’m a buzz kill, that’s why. | 因为我是个扫帚星 这就是原因 |
| [17:19] | Because… | 因为 |
| [17:20] | That’s who I am. That’s my role. | 我天生是一把好扫帚 |
| [17:23] | You guys, you create fun, and I destroy it. | 你们创造的乐趣 会被我扫个一干二净 |
| [17:26] | Of course a silly little joke ends with a– a dead body on the lawn. | 一个白痴玩笑当然会以 尸体躺在草坪上收场 |
| [17:30] | I should have known that. But I wanted to do it anyway, | 我应该知道这点 可我就是执迷不悟 |
| [17:32] | ’cause I wanted to be like you. I wanted to be funny. | 因为我希望自己像你们这样 我想变成有趣的人 |
| [17:35] | Knock knock! | 咚 咚 |
| [17:36] | Who’s there? | 谁啊 |
| [17:38] | Cancer! | 癌症 |
| [17:39] | Oh, good! Come on in! | 太好了 进来吧 |
| [17:41] | I thought it was Britta! | 不是布雷塔就行 |
| [17:43] | Well… Britta… | 布雷塔 |
| [17:45] | I actually want to be taken more seriously. | 其实我只是想在别人眼中更是那么回事儿 |
| [17:49] | The only reason I slammed Jeff’s head against the table | 我把杰夫的脑袋撞到桌子上的原因就是 |
| [17:52] | was because I wanted to feel like an adult. | 我想当个成年人 |
| [17:55] | Like Shirley! | 像雪瑞一样的成年人 |
| [17:59] | And I wanted to feel younger, like Annie. | 而我只是希望感觉还和安妮一样年轻 |
| [18:01] | You know, it’s not that I’m really old, | 并不说我有多老 |
| [18:03] | ’cause people don’t know how young I really am. | 只是人们不知道其实我还很年轻 |
| [18:04] | See, I’m doing it again. | 我又来了 |
| [18:06] | I hate that I obsess about my age. | 我讨厌自己为年龄而纠结 |
| [18:08] | I know! | 我明白 |
| [18:09] | I wish I was really magic. | 我希望自己真的有魔法 |
| [18:11] | You know you’re not? | 你知道自己没有吗 |
| [18:13] | Yeah. | 当然 |
| [18:14] | Somebody must have sent these robes by accident. | 这袍子肯定是阴差阳错下才寄给我的 |
| [18:17] | I only pretended I was level six | 我假装自己有六级巫师水平 |
| [18:19] | to impress you guys. | 让你们觉得我很厉害 |
| [18:21] | I got held back! | 我不能再自欺欺人了 |
| [18:25] | I don’t even deserve this buddhist meteor wand. | 我不配拥有这根教主级的流星魔杖 |
| [18:28] | It’s not a meteor! | 这不是流星魔杖 |
| [18:31] | It’s a cookie wand! | 这是饼干杖 |
| [18:32] | Me and Jeff made it | 我和杰夫做的 |
| [18:35] | because it made you look more like the cookie crisp wizard. | 这让你看起来更像是曲奇饼干包装袋上的巫师 |
| [18:37] | Which is not even a reference I get | 其实这笑点我根本就没整明白 |
| [18:40] | because the cookie crisp mascot | 因为曲奇饼干的吉祥物 |
| [18:42] | wasn’t a wizard when I was a kid. | 在我小时候根本就不是巫师 |
| [18:44] | It was a burglar. | 我记得他是个夜贼 |
| [18:45] | I just… pretended like I knew | 我只是 假装自己明白了笑点 |
| [18:49] | because I wanted Jeff to think I was smart. | 因为我希望杰夫认为我是个聪明仔 |
| [18:53] | Great, I did again! | 老天 我又闯祸了 |
| [18:55] | I killed the buzz. | 快乐被我一扫而光 |
| [19:01] | Look, um… | 听着 |
| [19:02] | Maybe… maybe “buzz kill” | 也许 也许用扫帚星 |
| [19:07] | is a bad choice of words. | 来形容你不对 |
| [19:08] | What’s a good choice of words? | 那对的形容词是什么 |
| [19:10] | Look, I don’t know– um, uh… | 我也不知道 |
| [19:14] | You’re– you’re– | 你是 你是 |
| [19:15] | You’re like the dark cloud that unites us. | 你是让我们躲到同一屋檐下的乌云 |
| [19:18] | Or the anti-Winger. | 抗翁格素 |
| [19:20] | Uh…look, you’re– you’re– | 听着 你是 你是 |
| [19:23] | You’re the heart of this group. | 你是这小组的心脏 |
| [19:25] | Uh, look, I don’t, um… | 我不会… |
| [19:27] | I don’t have a real handle on all this mushy stuff. | 我不会处理这些细腻的情绪问题 |
| [19:29] | If I did, then we wouldn’t need you. | 如果我能行 大家就不会需要你了 |
| [19:35] | Britta! | 布雷塔 |
| [19:36] | – Get over here. – Really? | -过来一起哭 -真的吗 |
| [19:40] | – Yes! – Yeah! Come over here! | -过来 -快过来 |
| [19:44] | Let’s never let Jeff divide us again. | 永远不要让杰夫离间我们 |
| [19:48] | Hey, Abed… | 阿布蒂 |
| [19:49] | Why are you and I the only sane– | 为什么只有我们两个是明白人 |
| [19:52] | Shh! Just watch. | 别出声 好好欣赏 |
| [19:54] | It’s beautiful. | 多么动人的画面 |
| [19:55] | Troy, do you want a bite of my wand? | 特洛伊 要不要咬口我的魔杖 |
| [19:57] | I do. | 要 |
| [20:00] | – We really appreciate you’re doing this. – Sure. | -很感谢你来捧场 -小事 |
| [20:02] | And three two one. | 准备 三二一 |
| [20:04] | Troy and Abed in the mornin’! | 特洛伊和阿布蒂的早间报道 |
| [20:06] | And we’re back. Look who’s here. | 欢迎收看 看看我们今天请到谁了 |
| [20:07] | Jeff Winger. | 杰夫·翁格 |
| [20:08] | Jeff, how do you stay so fit? | 杰夫 你如何保持这么好的身材 |
| [20:10] | Uh, diet, exercise, genetics. | 注意饮食 运动 遗传基因优良 |
| [20:14] | Sure, sure. | 当然 当然 |
| [20:15] | Okay, so it seems as though we have a clip. | 好的 为大家送上小片段 |
| [20:16] | You want to set it up for us? | 你愿意为大家播放吗 |
| [20:19] | Uh, I’d like to, | 愿意效劳 |
| [20:19] | But I don’t know what you’re talking about. | 但我不明白你们说的是什么 |
| [20:20] | Okay, we’ll just roll it. | 好的 让我们来看片段 |
| [20:21] | Ooh, my name’s Jeff Winger. | 我是杰夫·翁格 |
| [20:24] | Hey, I’m Jeff Winger. | 我是杰夫·翁格 |
| [20:26] | I’m so tall. | 我很高大 |
| [20:26] | Ah, this watch is expensive. | 这只表很贵 |
| [20:28] | – Muscles are everywhere. – Oh, that was really funny. | -我是肌肉男 -这个真逗 |
| [20:30] | You guys, what’s going on? Where are the cameras? | 兄弟 到底怎么回事 摄像机在哪儿 |
| [20:31] | Oh, we’re not filming this. | 我们没在拍啊 |
| [20:33] | No, who’d want to watch this? | 谁会看这个啊 |
| [20:34] | Guys, it’s 6:00 a.m. Jeez! | 老天爷 现在可是清晨六点 |
| [20:39] | We’re not gonna have him back. | 他不会回来了 |
| [20:40] | – Troy and Abed in the mor– – No! | -特洛伊和阿布蒂的早间… -闭嘴 |