时间 英文 中文 [00:01] Max, I can’t wait to go home 麦克斯 我等不及要回家 [00:02] and illegally download that documentary about performance art. 非法下载那个行为艺术的纪录片了 [00:05] And I can’t wait to go home 我也迫不及待想回家 [00:06] and watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. 看《甜心波波来啦》 [00:08] But first, you have to see this. 但你得先跟我看这纪录片 [00:10] Her name’s Marina Abramovic….
时间 英文 中文 [00:01] I can’t believe you guys are still staring over there! 你们居然还在盯着那看 [00:04] Some other’s tend to breast feed for a lot longer for these days, 现在很多人选择持续喂母乳到孩子更大 [00:07] it’s called the “attachment parenting”. 这叫”亲密育儿法” [00:07] 亲密育儿主旨是 母亲最好亲自母乳喂养孩子到儿童阶段 [00:11] When the kids that big, it’s called “dating”. 孩子那么大了 应该叫”亲密约会法”吧 [00:15] I mean, he’s…
时间 英文 中文 [00:02] hi, I’m gonna be your waitress, 你好 我是今晚的服务生 [00:03] ’cause my mother drank. 谁让我妈是不争气的酒鬼呢 [00:06] We need a sec. 稍等一下 [00:07] Feeling’ kinda generous, take two. 姐大方点 等你们两下好了 [00:10] Then he said to me, “dude, your vagina is weird.” 他对我说”妹子 你的阴道长得也太奇葩了” [00:13] Dude, that’s insane. 他也太扯了吧 [00:14] It is so not…
时间 英文 中文 [00:08] Wow! Bummer, dude. 靠 太倒霉了吧 兄台 [00:10] You have a time machine? 你有台时光机 [00:11] And somehow, it got programmed to this crap diner? 却把自己传送到这间破烂餐厅 [00:15] I must admit, I am quite taken with steampunk. 我承认 我是挺迷蒸汽朋克的 [00:16] 蒸汽朋克: 上世纪80-90年代初的科幻题材 对工业革命早期科技着迷 并虚构出蒸汽力至上的世界 [00:17] Oh, steampunk, right. I remember that trend. 蒸汽朋克啊 我记得啊…
时间 英文 中文 [00:02] Max. Do you have any gum? 麦克斯 你有口香糖吗 [00:04] My breath tastes like someone else’s breath. 我的口气闻着像别人的口气 [00:08] You’re asking me if I have any gum? 你居然问我有没有口香糖 [00:10] That’s like asking New Jersey if it has any sluts. 就跟问新泽西有没有淫娃一样 [00:10] 新泽西州发生过校园欺辱事件 21名女新生遭学姐列入”淫娃名单”恶搞 在校园内散布 [00:13] Great. There were onions in my street…
时间 英文 中文 [00:01] How could ketchup get this hard? 这番茄酱渍怎么能变得这么硬啊 [00:03] You just hold it in your hand like this, and say 只需要用手这么握住 对它说 [00:06] you are the biggest ketchup I’ve ever had. 你是我用过最”大”的番茄酱 [00:11] Hey, everybody. I got it, I got it. 各位 得到啦 得到啦 [00:13] Don’t panic. At least you caught it…
时间 英文 中文 [00:01] Look at that. Dogs in the diner. 瞧 有人把狗带进餐厅呢 [00:04] Where are we, Paris? 以为我们这是哪啊 巴黎吗 [00:07] ‘Cause if we are, I’m gonna stop wearing deodorant. 如果这里真是巴黎 那老子要不喷除臭剂了 [00:12] Did you guys see that adorable dog? 你们看到那条可爱的狗了吗 [00:14] You mean the one leaking rabies all over the table 别人在吃饭 它在旁边把狂犬病毒 [00:16]…
时间 英文 中文 [00:02] Max, look out, you’re so tired 麦克斯 小心 你都累得 [00:04] you’re spilling batter all over yourself. 把面粉糊洒自己身上了 [00:07] I knew it was only a matter of time 我就知道这天迟早会来 [00:08] before I became a battered woman. 我成了洒面糊的笨女人 [00:08] battered woman 亦指受虐待女性 长期遭受家暴会导致受虐者行为能力衰退 [00:11] This is a huge disappointment. 这真是太让人失望了 [00:13] I heard…
时间 英文 中文 [00:01] So that’s three of our delicious homemade cupcakes. 就要三个美味的自制小蛋糕 对吧 [00:04] Nope, can’t. You touched them. 别给我 你们都摸过了 [00:05] Sorry, flu season, no health care. 抱歉 流感季节 我没医保 [00:10] You realized I replaced that purell with K.Y., right? 知道你的净手液被我换成润滑油了吧 [00:15] Max, please say you’re kidding. 麦克斯 你是开玩笑的对吧 [00:16] Of course, I’m…
时间 英文 中文 [00:01] Max, can you watch my tables while I run to the restroom? 麦克斯 我去个厕所 你帮我盯一下 [00:03] I already am. 早就在盯了 [00:04] I’ve been watching model girl 我盯着那个假装 [00:05] pretend she’s eating for 30 minutes. 吃东西的小模特30分钟了 [00:08] Oh, she’s nice. 她人很好呢 [00:09] She always tips on what she would’ve eaten. 不管吃不吃 该给小费不会少…