| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:05] | Oh, my God, the customers are nakey. | 天啊 顾客全都裸体 |
| [00:09] | Thank God you’re seeing it too. | 幸好你也看得到 |
| [00:11] | I thought my X-ray vision was back. | 我还以为我的透视眼能力又回来了呢 |
| [00:15] | God bless the annual naked bike ride. | 感谢每年一度的裸体单车骑行日 |
| [00:18] | And where’s Oleg? | 奥列格人呢 |
| [00:19] | This is the first lunch rush in years. | 这么多年来首次迎来午餐高峰期 |
| [00:22] | Uh, the guy at table three needs some water | 第三桌的那男的想要杯水 |
| [00:24] | and has an ass mole that should really get looked at, | 他屁股上还有颗很需要人看的痣 |
| [00:27] | but not by me. | 可不该我看 该让医生看 |
| [00:33] | Oleg, you’re doing the naked bike ride too? | 奥列格 你也参加裸体单车骑行了吗 |
| [00:36] | The naked what? | 你说裸体啥来着 |
| [00:39] | Okay, gang. | 好了 各位 |
| [00:41] | Let’s hit the road. | 继续上路吧 |
| [00:46] | I don’t know where to look now. | 我都不知道该看哪了 |
| [00:47] | Nothing’s good. | 没有安全下眼的地方 |
| [00:52] | Well, now we have to burn this place down. | 这下这店真得烧掉消毒才行了 |
| [01:09] | Don’t try and stop me. | 别想阻止我 |
| [01:10] | I’ll Mountain Dew it. | 我绝对会”汽”[水]死你 |
| [01:13] | You know I’m crazy when I’m all Coked up. | 我就是个可乐[卡]因上脑的神经病 |
| [01:16] | So I heard a lot of noise coming from your room last night. | 我昨晚听到了你房里传来不少”声响”呢 |
| [01:20] | And since I know that bat is dead, | 我知道家里那只蝙蝠死了 |
| [01:22] | because it had a heart attack on my pillow, | 因为它是心脏病发死在我枕头上 |
| [01:25] | I assume you had a gentleman caller? | 所以我猜你昨晚带了一位绅士回家 |
| [01:28] | He wasn’t a gentleman, | 他并不是一位绅士 |
| [01:29] | but he did wear a monocle while we did it. | 不过我们打炮时 他的确戴了个单片眼镜 |
| [01:32] | Well, you had a much more exciting night than I did. | 你昨晚可比我”性奋”多了啊 |
| [01:36] | Both of my legs fell asleep on the toilet. | 我的双腿在坐马桶上时”睡着”了 |
| [01:39] | Then so did I. | 然后我也睡着了 |
| [01:41] | So you aren’t gonna see him again? | 所以你们不会再见面了吗 |
| [01:43] | Well, we know every time Earl walks away, | 每次厄尔从我们身旁离开 |
| [01:45] | there’s a chance of that. | 都有可能是最后一面 |
| [01:48] | I have an announcement. | 我有件事宣布 |
| [01:50] | Whoever keeps putting peanut butter in my desk, | 那位老往我桌子涂花生酱的人 |
| [01:52] | stop. | 请住手 |
| [01:53] | I’m allergic. | 我对花生过敏 |
| [01:54] | And I’m closing the diner Sunday. | 还有就是 我们这周日关店 |
| [01:58] | Well, we had a good run. | 我们有过一段美好岁月 |
| [02:01] | No, we didn’t. | 有你个大头鬼 |
| [02:02] | Let’s scavenge, people! | 大家来分赃啦 |
| [02:05] | Bye, y’all! | 各位再见 |
| [02:06] | Where do we keep the money at? | 店里的钱都收哪来着 |
| [02:11] | What? | 干嘛 |
| [02:12] | I don’t want our meat order | 我可不想店里的肉类订货单 |
| [02:13] | to fall into the wrong hands. | 落入不该落入的人手里 |
| [02:16] | No, you pile of felons. | 不是啦 你们这帮坏人 |
| [02:18] | I’m closing the diner for Sunday only. | 只是周日那一天不开门而已 |
| [02:21] | Well, I’m keeping this stuff anyway. | 反正这些东西我还是要据为己有 |
| [02:23] | And I really hate it. | 我好恨自己如此无下限 |
| [02:26] | My new therapist, Gary, says that | 我的新心理医生盖里说 |
| [02:28] | I need to take a day off to focus on myself. | 我需要空出一天时间关注自身 |
| [02:30] | Did he give you a magnifying glass for that? | 那他有给你个放大镜 让你先能看见自身吗 |
| [02:33] | Max, Gary says you use your toxic, mean-spirited jokes | 麦克斯 盖里说你用毒舌吐槽 |
| [02:37] | to keep people like me at a distance. | 来保持与我这种小天使的距离 |
| [02:40] | You know what else works? | 你知道还能怎么跟你保持距离吗 |
| [02:41] | Putting my hand on your forehead. | 把我手抵在你脑门上就行 |
| [02:43] | Max, Gary also says | 麦克斯 盖里还说了 |
| [02:45] | you have a fear of intimacy | 你会如此恐惧与人亲近 |
| [02:46] | stemming from your father abandoning you. | 是源于小时候你爸爸抛弃你 |
| [02:49] | To put it simply, you have daddy issues. | 简单来说 就是你有恋父情节 |
| [02:52] | The only daddy issues I have | 我唯一有的老爸刊物[恋父情节] |
| [02:54] | are of Rod Magazine. | 是汽车杂志 |
| [02:55] | And there’s no such thing as daddy issues. | 而且世上才没有什么恋父情结 |
| [02:58] | If there was, why would my daughter be married | 如果有 那为什么我女儿会嫁给 |
| [03:00] | to a forgetful older man named Burl? | 一个名叫二尔的健忘老头 |
| [03:04] | What did Gary say about me, Han? | 阿憨 那盖里是怎么评价我 |
| [03:06] | Were the words “Eliza Doolittle” used? | 有提到我宛如”伊莱莎·杜立德”吗 |
| [03:06] | 戏剧《卖花女》中家境贫寒相貌清丽的女主角 曾被改编为电影版 由奥黛丽·赫本饰演 | |
| [03:09] | Well, you certainly do little, | 你的确是不干活儿[杜立德] |
| [03:11] | but actually, you didn’t come up. | 不过其实并没有提到你 |
| [03:13] | You don’t come up to my knees. | 你也”没有”到我膝盖 |
| [03:15] | See? That’s the kind of material you need | 看到没 你得说出这样的东西 |
| [03:17] | to get a shout-out. | 才会被人提到 |
| [03:19] | Hey, everybody! | 大家安安 |
| [03:23] | Barbara just smiled politely at her first ugly baby. | 芭芭拉首次见到丑婴儿 并报以礼貌的微笑 |
| [03:28] | Oh, I could learn some manners from her. | 我可以从她身上学点礼貌 |
| [03:32] | Sophie, it’s really not nice to call a baby “Ugly.” | 苏菲 说一个婴儿丑不太好吧 |
| [03:35] | Shut up! | 闭上你狗嘴 |
| [03:37] | Oh, I mean… | 我是说… |
| [03:39] | Shut up! | 闭嘴啦 |
| [03:42] | Good news, Sophie. | 苏菲 好消息 |
| [03:43] | I don’t have to work here or Bubzie’s Hideaway this Sunday. | 这周日我不用在这里跟另一家店上班啦 |
| [03:47] | We can get a babysitter | 我们可以请个保姆看孩子 |
| [03:48] | and spend the whole day together. | 就能过一天二人世界了 |
| [03:50] | Well, if you’re suggesting | 如果你是在暗示 |
| [03:52] | that we have sex at the dog track again, | 我们要再去赛狗场打炮 |
| [03:54] | then I’m gonna tell you what I said at the dog track. | 那我的回答跟上次在赛狗场说的一样 |
| [04:02] | Well, now we all need therapy. | 这下所有人都该去看心理医生了 |
| [04:06] | Oh, Bobby, I’m so sorry | 鲍比 太遗憾了 |
| [04:08] | you have to go to your great aunt’s funeral on Sunday. | 你这周日得去你大姨的丧礼 |
| [04:11] | I really wanted to get lunch and some towels at Ikea. | 我真的很想去宜家吃午饭买毛巾呢 |
| [04:15] | Ooh, if you’re going to Ikea, | 如果你要去宜家 |
| [04:16] | can you get me a snars-vaten-woggen? | 能帮我买个”思娜尔斯瓦顿卧根”吗 |
| [04:19] | I need a place to put my book light. | 我需要个地方放我的读书灯 |
| [04:21] | Okay, I understand. | 好啦 我理解 |
| [04:23] | I guess the real lesson is, | 从这件事上我们学到 |
| [04:24] | don’t lie about your weight on a hot-air balloon. | 乘热气球时 千万别谎报体重 |
| [04:28] | I am so, so sorry… | 我真的超超感到遗憾 |
| [04:30] | that I had to listen to that horrible phone conversation. | 我得听到你们这如此糟糕的通话 |
| [04:33] | You know, Max, it’s actually a good thing | 麦克斯 其实这是件好事 |
| [04:35] | that Bobby’s aunt died tragically. | 鲍比阿姨如此悲剧死了 |
| [04:38] | Now we can do inventory here | 这样我们周日就有空点货 |
| [04:39] | and get ahead on our books on Sunday. | 还能多看几页手头的书 |
| [04:41] | Only you could turn a death | 只有你能把美好的死亡 |
| [04:42] | into something depressing. | 变成如此让人沮丧的事情 |
| [04:45] | Speaking of something depressing. | 说到令人沮丧的事物 |
| [04:48] | I just came by to let you know | 我就是过来跟你们说一声 |
| [04:50] | you’re late for the diner, | 你们餐厅上班迟到了 |
| [04:51] | and you know, Max, | 而且呢 麦克斯 |
| [04:53] | I had a working brunch with Gary, | 我跟盖里共进了个工作早午餐 |
| [04:55] | and he made a good point | 他当时提出一个很棒的点 |
| [04:57] | as he pretended to reach for the check. | 就在他假装要买单时提的 |
| [04:59] | He said it was unfair of me | 他说我那么做不对 |
| [05:01] | to bring up your problems | 我不应该说出你的问题 |
| [05:02] | without offering a solution. | 却又不提供解决方法 |
| [05:05] | You need to talk to your father. | 你需要去跟你父亲谈谈 |
| [05:08] | Han, you are really overstepping your boundaries, | 阿憨 你这样真的太多管闲事了 |
| [05:11] | which is really rude, because that’s my job. | 真是太没礼貌了 因为多管闲事是我的工作 |
| [05:14] | Uh, it’s fine. | 没关系 |
| [05:16] | Yeah, go ahead, Han. | 阿憨 那你去吧 |
| [05:17] | Try and find my father. | 加油把我爸找出来 |
| [05:19] | I don’t know his name, where he lives, | 我不知道他叫啥 住在哪 |
| [05:21] | or where he gets dialysis, I’m assuming. | 或在哪里做肾透析 我估计他会需要 |
| [05:24] | So good luck with that. | 想找他 我祝你好运 |
| [05:26] | Here’s his name and number. | 这是他的名字跟电话 |
| [05:27] | He lives in Rhode Island, | 他住在罗德岛州 |
| [05:29] | America’s least exciting state. | 全美最无聊的州 |
| [05:33] | How did you find that? | 你怎么查出来的 |
| [05:34] | That is way over the line, | 这也多管闲事过头了 |
| [05:36] | and I really wish it was me who had done it. | 我好希望是我做出这样的事啊 |
| [05:38] | Unlike Max in high school, | 这跟麦克斯读高中时不一样 |
| [05:41] | it wasn’t easy. | 不是”随便”就行 |
| [05:43] | I called the hospital for her birth certificate, | 我打去医院问她出生证明 |
| [05:45] | which led me to the hall of records, | 医院让我去档案室 |
| [05:47] | which then led me to some forced necking | 结果在档案室 我被逼着和一位 |
| [05:49] | with a clerk named Shelley. | 名为谢莉的办事员耳鬓厮磨 |
| [05:52] | Sadly, it was a dead end. | 可惜 最后一无所获 |
| [05:53] | So Gary got it for me. | 所以最后是盖里帮我搞到的 |
| [05:55] | His sister’s a psychic for the police. | 他妹妹是跟警察合作的灵媒 |
| [05:58] | So are you gonna call your dad | 所以你要打电话给你父亲吗 |
| [06:01] | after all that hard work Han and I did to find his number. | 看在我和阿憨如此辛苦地给你弄来他的号码 |
| [06:05] | I don’t know. | 我也不知道 |
| [06:06] | This is a huge decision, | 这是一个重大决定 |
| [06:07] | and I really want to think this through. | 我想要好好考虑后再做决定 |
| [06:10] | Max, I think that’s a really smart and mature decis… | 麦克斯 我觉得你这么做很聪明很成… |
| [06:12] | Thought about it. | 考虑完了 |
| [06:17] | Okay, we’re missing two bottles of tequila, | 我们少了两瓶龙舌兰酒 |
| [06:19] | but I did find a bloody knife, | 但我找到了一把带血的刀 |
| [06:21] | so that’s a wrap on inventory. | 所以点货就到此为止吧 |
| [06:23] | Oh, thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
| [06:25] | I’ve been killing myself with all this paperwork. | 这种纸上工作真是让我想自杀 |
| [06:27] | It took me 30 minutes to make this hat. | 我花了足足三十分钟折出这顶帽子呢 |
| [06:30] | Max, I know what’s really going on here. | 麦克斯 我看出你在干嘛了 |
| [06:33] | You’re trying to hide it by doing origami, | 你想通过折纸来掩饰自己 |
| [06:35] | but you’re really thinking about contacting your dad. | 但其实你心里正想着要不要联系你爸爸 |
| [06:38] | Uh, actually, I was thinking | 其实我刚真正在想 |
| [06:39] | about where I left my bloody knife, | 我那把带血的刀放哪去了 |
| [06:41] | but you solved that mystery. | 不过你刚才已经为我解疑 |
| [06:43] | So now I’m thinking about wrestling. | 所以现在我在想着摔跤 |
| [06:46] | Wrestling with your emotions? | 跟你的内心情感摔跤搏斗吗 |
| [06:48] | No, with Jeremy Piven. | 不是 是跟演员杰瑞米·皮文 |
| [06:50] | Short arms. I can take him. | 他手臂短 我能打赢他 |
| [06:53] | Well, in the off-chance you do want to contact your father, | 我怕你哪天好死不死你想打给你爸爸 |
| [06:56] | I used my amazing jigsaw puzzle talents | 所以我用我强大的拼图技巧 |
| [06:59] | to put his number back together. | 把号码拼回去了 |
| [07:01] | I was runner-up in Jigsaw Palooza 2003. | 我可是2003年拼图大赛的亚军 |
| [07:04] | Oh, thank God. | 太谢谢你了 |
| [07:05] | Thank you, Caroline… | 感谢你 卡洛琳 |
| [07:07] | for letting me rip this up again. | 让我有机会再把它撕成渣 |
| [07:09] | You know, I hate to say this, | 你知道吗 我也不想这么说 |
| [07:11] | but Han’s not wrong. | 但阿憨这次真的没错 |
| [07:13] | How dare you? | 你好大的狗胆 |
| [07:14] | Let me finish. | 先听我说完 |
| [07:16] | Maybe you do have some intimacy issues. | 或许你真的在与人亲近方面有问题 |
| [07:18] | I mean, you haven’t really dated anyone since Randy, | 毕竟你跟兰迪分手后 就没再谈过恋爱 |
| [07:21] | and I still don’t have a key to our apartment. | 而且你到现在还没有给我咱们家的钥匙 |
| [07:24] | I gave you that screwdriver. It works. | 我给了你一把螺丝刀 那个也能开啊 |
| [07:27] | You’re not even a little curious to meet him? | 你难道就没有一点点想见他的好奇心吗 |
| [07:30] | I guess maybe a little. | 或许有一点吧 |
| [07:32] | Maybe it’ll explain some of the more disturbing things about me, | 或许见完之后 我身上一些古怪的地方就能说得通了 |
| [07:35] | like how I prefer Cocoa Pebbles over Fruity Pebbles. | 比如我喜欢巧克力早餐片多过水果早餐片 |
| [07:38] | Yes! You can finally get those answers. | 对啊 你终于能知道原因了 |
| [07:41] | I say we go now, before you change your mind. | 我觉得我们立刻出发 免得你又改变主意 |
| [07:44] | Should we steal some snacks from the diner | 我们该从餐厅偷点零食 |
| [07:45] | before we steal Han’s car? | 再去偷阿憨的车吗 |
| [07:49] | Earl, what are you doing here? | 厄尔 你在这里干嘛 |
| [07:51] | You know you’re off today, right? | 你知道今天不用上班的吧 |
| [07:52] | Uh, I forgot my weed here. | 我把我的大麻忘在这里了 |
| [07:55] | Then I smoked it. | 然后我抽掉了 |
| [07:56] | And now it doesn’t matter where I am. | 所以现在我在哪已经无所谓了 |
| [08:03] | I’m not working on my Gary-prescribed day off. | 我有照盖里吩咐的做 我不是来上班的 |
| [08:06] | I just swung by to… to meet a friend… | 我只是顺道来这里… 见个朋友 |
| [08:10] | named Friendo. | 他叫贾鹏友 |
| [08:13] | He’s Italian. | 他是真的 |
| [08:14] | What are you doing here? | 你们来这里干嘛 |
| [08:16] | We’re going to meet Max’s dad. | 我们要去见麦克斯的父亲 |
| [08:18] | Because of me. | 是我说服了她 |
| [08:19] | It’s my thing now. | 现在这是我的招牌了 |
| [08:21] | So you’re giving up your other thing? | 所以你要放弃你其他招牌了吗 |
| [08:23] | Complimenting yourself while the customers starve? | 比如让客人在一旁饿肚子 而你忙着自吹自擂 |
| [08:27] | Earl, why don’t you come with? | 厄尔 你要不要一起来 |
| [08:28] | I want my real dad to meet my birth dad. | 我想我的生父见我的养父 |
| [08:31] | Sure. Which one am I again? | 行啊 我是哪个身份来着 |
| [08:35] | Can I come too? | 我能一起来吗 |
| [08:36] | Gary would love to hear about the man | 盖里一定会很想了解 |
| [08:38] | responsible for my misery. | 造成我惨况的人 |
| [08:40] | Isn’t that the cartoonist who erased half your body? | 造成你惨况的不是擦除你一半身躯的漫画家吗 |
| [08:44] | Ugh, great. | 这下好了 |
| [08:46] | Other looters got here first. | 让别的洗劫者抢先了 |
| [08:49] | This is what happens when you stop for snacks | 谁让你在去抢零食的路上 |
| [08:52] | on your way to stop for more snacks. | 还浪费时间去买零食啊 |
| [08:55] | We’re going for a romantic ride in the country. | 我们要来一趟乡间浪漫自驾游 |
| [08:58] | We’re looking for a farm where we can do it. | 我们想找一个能啪啪啪的农场 |
| [09:01] | We were just gonna ask Han to drive us to Rhode Island, | 我们准备叫阿憨开车载我们去罗德岛 |
| [09:03] | but this is better. | 不过这样更好 |
| [09:04] | With your minivan, | 坐你们的休旅车 |
| [09:05] | we can sit much further from the driver. | 我们就能坐得离驾驶员更远了 |
| [09:07] | Rhode Island? | 罗德岛吗 |
| [09:10] | Are we gonna bury a dead body? | 我们是要去埋尸体吗 |
| [09:12] | No, but I am coming, | 不是 但我会跟去 |
| [09:14] | so don’t get any ideas. | 所以不许动歪脑筋 |
| [09:17] | Well, I haven’t been in a van with this many weirdos | 我上一次跟一堆怪人同坐休旅车 |
| [09:20] | since the second time I got kidnapped. | 还是我第二次被绑架那会儿呢 |
| [09:25] | All right, your dad just confirmed. | 你父亲刚确认了 |
| [09:27] | We’re meeting him at 4:00 at the Rhode Island Diner. | 他会4点钟在罗德岛餐厅跟我们碰面 |
| [09:29] | Max’s reunion with her father is really humming along | 麦克斯与父亲重逢的事 打从我接管过来后 |
| [09:32] | since I took the reins from Han. | 就开始拨云见日 水到渠成 |
| [09:34] | Don’t kid yourself. | 你别自己骗自己了 |
| [09:35] | I laid the groundwork. | 是我搞定了良好基础 |
| [09:37] | Don’t kid yourself. | 你才别自己骗自己了 |
| [09:38] | You’ve never laid anything. | 你这辈子啥都没”搞”过 |
| [09:40] | Oleg, shouldn’t we be getting off at the next exit? | 奥列格 我们下个出口就该下了吧 |
| [09:43] | Do you think we should exit at 33B, Misty? | 你觉得我们该在33B出口下吗 咪湿蒂 |
| [09:47] | Ooh, that exit is closed for construction, naughty boy. | 下个出口施工关闭了 小色魔 |
| [09:53] | Since we’re having a day off from Barbara, | 由于今天芭芭拉不会在 |
| [09:55] | I put the GPS on XXX. | 我把导航设置为成人模式了 |
| [09:58] | Can’t a woman just talk to you? | 女人就不能只是正常跟你说话吗 |
| [10:01] | This is why we march. | 这就是为什么女人要游行示威 |
| [10:04] | How about a fun car game? | 要不要来玩个有趣的汽车游戏 |
| [10:07] | I spy with my little eye | 猜猜我的间谍小眼睛 |
| [10:09] | something that is black. | 看到了什么黑色的东西 |
| [10:11] | You better watch yourself, son. | 臭小子 你他妈找死啊 |
| [10:14] | No, I was referring to… | 不是 刚才我的谜底是… |
| [10:17] | pass. | 算了 过 |
| [10:20] | Max, are you nervous? | 麦克斯 你紧张吗 |
| [10:21] | You have that nervous metallic smell you get | 你脸上又浮现了跟当时你发现 |
| [10:23] | when you find out 7-Eleven’s out of hot dogs. | 便利店热狗卖完时一样的紧张僵硬笑容 |
| [10:26] | No. | 才没有 |
| [10:27] | I keep a lot of nickels in these pants. | 只是裤兜里放了很多硬币不舒服而已 |
| [10:39] | Sophie, are you okay? | 苏菲你还好吧 |
| [10:41] | Yeah, that’s just how I wake up. | 还好啊 我起床都这样 |
| [10:45] | Are you okay? | 你才还好吧 |
| [10:49] | Bear right at the next exit. | 下个出口向右 |
| [10:51] | Just like that. | 就是那样 |
| [10:52] | Don’t stop! | 不要停 |
| [10:54] | Okay, Misty. | 好的 咪湿蒂 |
| [10:56] | I think I went to hair school with your GPS. | 你导航的配音员好像是我美发学校同学 |
| [11:00] | Object ahead. | 前方有物体 |
| [11:02] | Slow down, big boy. | 慢点 大公鸡哥哥 |
| [11:07] | Uh-oh, I hit a squirrel | 我撞到了只松鼠 |
| [11:09] | or John Travolta’s toupee. | 或者是约翰·特拉沃尔塔的假发 |
| [11:11] | Either way, its legs are still moving. | 无论是啥 它的脚还在动呢 |
| [11:18] | Oh, gosh. | 天啊 |
| [11:20] | I must have fallen asleep again. | 我刚才好像又睡着了 |
| [11:26] | Hey, Han? | 阿憨 |
| [11:28] | How do you say “Hang in there” in squirrel? | 松鼠语的”撑着点”怎么说 |
| [11:35] | I learned it on Zoboomafoo. | 我从儿童动物节目学的 |
| [11:38] | Sophie, next time you scoop up | 苏菲 下次你用甜甜圈盒 |
| [11:39] | a wounded animal with a donut box, | 捞起一只受伤动物时 |
| [11:42] | make sure everyone’s had one first. | 能先确保大家都吃过了好吗 |
| [11:44] | Aww, he’s resting comfortably on a cruller. | 他正舒服躺在一个油炸煎饼上 |
| [11:47] | Living my dream, buddy. | 过着我梦想中的生活啊 兄弟 |
| [11:49] | He won’t die, right? | 他不会死吧 |
| [11:51] | It’s illegal to kill squirrels in the Ukraine. | 在乌克兰杀松鼠是犯法的 |
| [11:54] | Ever since Putin had them trained as spies. | 因为普京把它们都训练成间谍了 |
| [11:57] | There’s an animal hospital nearby. | 附近有一家宠物医院 |
| [11:59] | Put the address in the sexy GPS lady. | 把地址输入进性感导航吧 |
| [12:02] | I don’t care where we go, | 我们去哪我不在意 |
| [12:04] | I just want to hear what she does | 我只想听当我们”到达目的”时 |
| [12:06] | when we arrive at our destination. | 她会作何”反应” |
| [12:11] | Not to be that person, | 我不想当扫兴的人 |
| [12:12] | but I’m in charge now, | 但现在我才是管事的 |
| [12:14] | and this trip is about Max meeting her dad, | 而这趟旅程麦克斯跟爸爸重逢才是关键 |
| [12:16] | not saving a squirrel’s life. | 不是拯救松鼠大作战 |
| [12:19] | Squirrel hater! | 仇松鼠者 |
| [12:23] | Let’s just take him with us. | 就带着他跟我们一起去嘛 |
| [12:24] | If this diner’s anything like ours, | 如果这家餐厅像我们那家 |
| [12:26] | there’d be tons of other rodents for him to play with. | 那里面就会有无数啮齿动物能陪他玩了 |
| [12:29] | Your destination is in 4,800 inches. | 距离目的地还有12192公分 |
| [12:33] | I had her convert everything to inches. | 我让她把距离换成公分 |
| [12:36] | Makes our trip sound bigger, doesn’t it? | 现在旅途是不是听起来又大又长啊 |
| [12:40] | We should plan a march. | 我们应该计划游行抗议了 |
| [12:50] | Table for, uh… | 要一个… |
| [12:52] | for two. | 二人桌 |
| [12:53] | And the cast of American Horror Story: Minivan | 然后”美国恐怖故事:面包车”的演员们 |
| [12:56] | will be in a separate booth. | 坐在另一桌 |
| [12:58] | Ooh, do you mind? | 不介意我吃一个吧 |
| [12:59] | I’m pretty hungry. | 我挺饿 |
| [13:00] | My donut is covered in squirrel slobber. | 我的甜甜圈上沾满了松鼠口水 |
| [13:04] | You can’t bring outside food in here. | 本店不能带外食入内 |
| [13:06] | It’s not food. | 这不是食物 |
| [13:07] | It’s a severely injured squirrel. | 里面是一只严重受伤的松鼠 |
| [13:09] | All right, well, sit wherever. | 好吧 你们随便坐 |
| [13:10] | Just don’t let it out of the box. | 别让他跑出盒外就行了 |
| [13:13] | Do you see that, Earl? | 你看到没 厄尔 |
| [13:14] | He’s firm but fair. | 他立场坚定 讲道理 |
| [13:20] | You look like a young Earl. | 你看起来像年轻的厄尔 |
| [13:23] | No, I’m Steve. | 不是 我叫史蒂夫 |
| [13:25] | That was young Earl’s name! | 那是厄尔年轻时的名字 |
| [13:31] | Hey, everybody! | 大家安安 |
| [13:35] | Uh, I’m just going in. | 我就这么弱气入场吧 |
| [13:41] | I told your dad to look for a pretty blonde girl | 我跟你父亲说找金发正妹就对了 |
| [13:43] | whose hair is a little longer than a bob | 头发比短发长 |
| [13:45] | but shorter than shoulder-length. | 但是又还没长过肩 |
| [13:47] | Oh, I forgot to tell him what you look like. | 我忘了告诉他你长什么样了 |
| [13:50] | Well, I have no idea what he looks like. | 我也不知道他长什么样啊 |
| [13:52] | I always imagined Louis CK, but not as hot. | 我一直想象他像路易斯CK 但是又没他帅 |
| [13:55] | Maybe you do have daddy issues. | 或许你真有恋父情节 |
| [13:58] | On the plus side, we will never like the same guy. | 往好处看 至少我们永远不会爱上同个男人 |
| [14:02] | Gary says when Max sees her dad, | 盖里说当麦克斯看到她父亲 |
| [14:04] | she’s going to get very emotional. | 她会变得非常情绪化 |
| [14:06] | She could get happy, | 有可能是大喜 |
| [14:07] | then sad. | 然后大悲 |
| [14:08] | Basically, hide your forks. | 反正就是藏好叉子之类的凶器 |
| [14:13] | He peed again. | 他又尿了 |
| [14:15] | Oh, Lord, | 天啊 |
| [14:16] | am I peeing? | 我又尿失禁了吗 |
| [14:19] | But these are my best pants. | 这条可是我最好的裤子了 |
| [14:21] | He peed so much, he turned this donut box into a pool. | 他尿这么多 甜甜圈盒都变成泳池了 |
| [14:26] | He’s really putting the “Ew” in cruller. | 油炸煎饼被他弄成”哎油”煎饼 |
| [14:30] | Max, if you want privacy when your dad gets here, | 麦克斯 如果你父亲来了你需要保留隐私 |
| [14:32] | I can go sit in that other booth. | 我可以去坐在别桌 |
| [14:34] | Can you do that now? | 那你能现在就去吗 |
| [14:38] | Look alive, everyone! | 有精神点 各位 |
| [14:40] | It’s the moment we’ve always been waiting for. | 我们期待许久的时刻终于到来了 |
| [14:42] | At least since Tuesday, since Gary suggested it. | 至少是从周二盖里建议过后开始期待 |
| [14:45] | Then I took over. | 然后我接手了 |
| [14:47] | Max, make sure you look at me when you hug him. | 麦克斯 抱他的时候记得看我这边 |
| [14:49] | Oh, that guy? I hope not. | 那个男的吗 希望不要啊 |
| [14:50] | No daddy, no daddy, no daddy. | 别是我爸 别是我爸 别是我爸 |
| [14:53] | What was wrong with him? | 他有哪里不好 |
| [14:55] | Besides his jeans, | 你是说除了他的牛仔裤 |
| [14:56] | arms, legs, face, and overall vibe? | 手臂 腿 脸 和气质吗 |
| [15:00] | You know it would be bad if you were attracted to him, right? | 你知道爱上自己老爸是坏事的吧 |
| [15:08] | You know, I was a cashier when I was your age. | 你知道吗 我在你这个年纪时也是收银员 |
| [15:12] | Yeah? What do you do now? | 是吗 那你现在做什么工作 |
| [15:14] | Cashier. | 收银员 |
| [15:16] | – But this is just temporary. – Temporary. | -这份工作只是暂时的 -暂时的 |
| [15:18] | – No, I have actual dreams. – Dreams. | -我可是有梦想的 -梦想的 |
| [15:20] | No, seriously, man. | 不是 我是认真的 |
| [15:21] | – I play saxophone. – Saxophone. | -我吹萨克斯风 -萨克斯风 |
| [15:23] | I quit. | 我辞职 |
| [15:24] | Attaboy. | 真乖 |
| [15:27] | You know, Han, | 你知道吗 阿憨 |
| [15:28] | you should get your chef to make flapjacks like this. | 你应该让你店里的厨子也搞这种煎饼出来 |
| [15:31] | He does enough flapping and jacking on his own. | 他自己就做了够多”搞”与”奸”了 |
| [15:35] | I think this squirrel’s asleep. | 我觉得松鼠好像睡着了 |
| [15:37] | He’s snoring and clutching his nuts. | 他一边打呼 一边握着自己蛋蛋 |
| [15:40] | Aww, just like you do. | 就跟你睡觉时一样 |
| [15:44] | Han, will you watch the squirrel | 阿憨 你能帮忙照看松鼠 |
| [15:46] | so we can just have one minute to ourselves? | 让我跟苏菲有一会儿独处时间吗 |
| [15:48] | No, I’m watching the door for Max’s… | 不行 我在顾着门 等着麦克斯的… |
| [15:51] | how do I put this nicely? | 我该怎么说好听点呢 |
| [15:52] | “Monster who left her as a child.” | “在她小时候就抛弃她的魔鬼” |
| [15:55] | He’s gonna be here. | 他会来的 |
| [15:57] | Why am I so positive? | 我为什么这么乐观啊 |
| [15:58] | The only reason I know where my dad is | 我唯一知道自己爹在哪里的原因 |
| [16:00] | is ’cause he’s in prison. | 是因为他在坐牢 |
| [16:03] | Ooh, live one coming in. | 有个新鲜的进来啦 |
| [16:07] | This guy looks like he’s missed a few soccer games. | 这家伙感觉就不是个顾家爱孩子的人 |
| [16:11] | If that jabroni is him, tell him I’m not here. | 如果那个废柴是我爸 就说我没来 |
| [16:14] | Max, one of these losers | 麦克斯 其中一个废柴 |
| [16:16] | is gonna be your dad. | 将会是你老爸 |
| [16:18] | I mean, we’re in Rhode Island. | 毕竟这里可是罗德岛 |
| [16:20] | I’m gonna get a quick refill. | 我去续杯 |
| [16:23] | I got it, hon. I’m in the industry. | 没事的 姐妹 咱们是同行 |
| [16:26] | Caroline, I’m starting to think he’s not going to show. | 卡洛琳 我开始觉得他不会来了 |
| [16:30] | You really screwed the pooch this time. | 你这次真是彻底搞砸了 |
| [16:33] | Me? | 我吗 |
| [16:34] | Yeah, this is your thing now. | 对啊 这事不是你接手了吗 |
| [16:35] | You took the reins, remember? | 你不是说从我那里接手过去了吗 |
| [16:37] | You’re Trevor Noah, | 你就是特雷弗·诺亚 |
| [16:38] | and I’m Jon Stewart. | 而我是囧司徒 |
| [16:39] | I’ve got my Emmys. | 我已经得了艾美奖 |
| [16:41] | I’m done now. | 我光荣退位了 |
| [16:42] | Well, you started this. | 是你起的头 |
| [16:44] | And after I finally got her over Randy. | 在我好不容易帮助她走出兰迪的事之后 |
| [16:48] | The night terrors just stopped. | 她好不容易才不再夜惊[魔王]呢 |
| [16:50] | I was terrified of her at night. | 我之前一到晚上可怕她了 |
| [16:53] | You can sleep with a cheap Taser now. | 你现在自己晚上带着便宜电击棒睡吧 |
| [16:55] | I already do. | 我已经是这样了啊 |
| [16:57] | For the same reason! | 也是因为怕她啊 |
| [16:59] | Quiet! | 安静 |
| [17:01] | The squirrel is sleeping. | 松鼠在睡觉 |
| [17:02] | We just got him down. | 我们好不容易把他哄睡 |
| [17:05] | And we’d like to make out. | 而且我们想开始亲热了 |
| [17:07] | I spilled a lot of syrup on myself. | 我洒了很多糖浆到自己身上 |
| [17:10] | Let’s just wake Earl up and get out of here. | 咱们就叫醒厄尔然后走人吧 |
| [17:12] | My dad’s not coming. | 我爸不会来的 |
| [17:17] | Maybe your dad’s still on his way. | 或许你爸还在路上呢 |
| [17:18] | I heard traffic’s building up on all the expressways. | 我听说高速公路上在堵车 |
| [17:22] | Kind of an ironic name, wouldn’t you say? | 其实这还挺讽刺的对吧 |
| [17:24] | “Expressway”? | 还”高速”公路呢 |
| [17:25] | More like “Slow-way.” | 应该是”慢速”公路吧 |
| [17:27] | This is Caroline’s thing. | 这事反正归卡洛琳管了 |
| [17:29] | Let’s just go. | 走吧 |
| [17:31] | I want to get back before Cinnabon gives away their day-olds. | 肉桂卷甜品店不留隔夜货 我想赶回去捡免费的 |
| [17:34] | You know we own a dessert bar, right? | 你知道我们现在是甜品店老板吧 |
| [17:36] | Maybe he’s still gonna come. | 或许他还在来的路上呢 |
| [17:38] | If I know one thing about the man I know nothing about, | 我唯一知道这个我不认识的男人的一件事 |
| [17:41] | he is not coming. | 就是他不会来 |
| [17:42] | Are you disappointed? | 你失望了吗 |
| [17:44] | No. | 没有 |
| [17:46] | A little. | 有一点吧 |
| [17:47] | But maybe it’s for the best he didn’t come. | 但或许他不来更好吧 |
| [17:50] | This is why I didn’t want to meet him, | 这就是我不想见他的原因 |
| [17:51] | because whoever comes through that door | 因为无论是谁从那门走进来 |
| [17:53] | is just gonna disappoint me. | 都只会让我感到失望 |
| [17:54] | And this way, I get to imagine he’s someone cool, | 他没来 好歹我可以幻想他是个很屌的人 |
| [17:56] | like Burt Reynolds | 比如布特·雷诺茨 |
| [17:58] | or Captain Crunch. | 或者是脆脆上校 |
| [18:00] | So you’re really okay? | 所以你真的没事吗 |
| [18:02] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [18:03] | We had a great day. | 我们过了很开心的一天 |
| [18:04] | Road trip, met a cool squirrel. | 自驾游 见到一只很酷的松鼠 |
| [18:07] | I don’t need another loser in my life. | 我的生命里不缺这么一个废柴 |
| [18:09] | I have you guys. | 我有你们就够了 |
| [18:12] | Gary! | 盖里 |
| [18:12] | Max’s father didn’t show. | 麦克斯的父亲没来 |
| [18:15] | How does that make me feel? | 我有什么感觉吗 |
| [18:16] | Terrible! | 很糟糕啊 |
| [18:18] | I don’t think Han’s handling it as well as I am. | 我感觉阿憨接受程度没我好啊 |
| [18:21] | Honestly, if it were my thing, | 说实话 这事要是归我管 |
| [18:23] | I would want to kill myself right now. | 我现在一定会超想自尽谢罪 |
| [18:27] | She’s hurt, and she’s family to me. | 她内心受伤了 她是我的家人 |
| [18:29] | How does that make me feel? | 这让我有啥感觉吗 |
| [18:31] | Like I should have gone to an out-of-network doctor! | 我当时不应该找医保能报销的便宜医生 |
| [18:34] | God, I made Han have a meltdown on my day off. | 天啊 我在休息日也让阿憨崩溃了呢 |
| [18:38] | You calm down, Gary! | 你才冷静 盖里 |
| [18:40] | I won’t count to ten. | 我才不要数到十 |
| [18:41] | You count to ten, you bastard! | 你他妈自己数到十 你个傻逼 |
| [18:46] | Hey, welcome to the, uh… | 欢迎光临… |
| [18:48] | hey, uh, what the hell is this place called, anyway? | 这家店叫什么鬼来着 |
| [18:51] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [18:53] | Dad! | 老爸 |
| [18:56] | Hold on, Gary. | 等等 盖里 |
| [18:57] | A vagrant that could very well be Max’s father just walked in. | 有个很可能是麦克斯父亲的游民走进来了 |
| [19:01] | Pretend you’re my dad, and I’ll give you 40 bucks. | 假装你是我爸 我就给你40块 |
| [19:04] | Throw in a joint, and we have a deal. | 再加一只大麻烟 咱们就成交 |
| [19:06] | Maybe you are my dad. | 或许你真是我爸 |
| [19:08] | Oh, no, I don’t have kids. | 没有 我才没有孩子 |
| [19:09] | Too much pot. | 吸太多大麻了 |
| [19:12] | Guys, this is my dad. | 各位 这位是我爸 |
| [19:17] | I’m the hot girl’s dad. | 我是这位辣妹的爸爸 |
| [19:19] | Was anyone else expecting a cop? | 有人跟我一样期待她爸是警察吗 |
| [19:22] | I mean, you know, for the irony. | 你们懂 显得更讽刺 |
| [19:26] | I’m Caroline. | 我叫卡洛琳 |
| [19:27] | See, it’s, like, not a bob, | 你看 就像我说的 不是短发 |
| [19:29] | but it’s not shoulder-length. | 但也还没长过肩 |
| [19:30] | I’m responsible for this reunion. | 这场父女重聚由我一手策划 |
| [19:33] | Um, he’s not really my dad. | 其实他不是我爸 |
| [19:34] | I’m doing this for Han. | 我就是安慰一下阿憨 |
| [19:36] | All right, everybody. | 好啦 各位 |
| [19:37] | Uh, my dad and I have had be Max’s father just walked in. | 我爸跟我进行了一场感天动地的重聚 |
| [19:41] | and now he has to get to a secret mission. | 现在他得去执行秘密任务了 |
| [19:45] | In an exotic locale. | 在异国的某处 |
| [19:47] | Sure. | 当然啦 |
| [19:50] | But I can’t leave the county. | 我被规定不能离开这个郡 |
| [19:51] | Sure. Local secret mission. | 当然啦 当地秘密任务 |
| [19:55] | Hey, you seem like a nice kid. | 你感觉是个好孩子 |
| [19:58] | Your father should be proud. | 你的父亲应该以你为荣 |
| [20:00] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [20:03] | Sorry about the outburst, Gary. | 盖里 抱歉我刚才一时爆发 |
| [20:05] | You know it stems from my mother’s expectations. | 你也知道这问题起源于我妈对我期望过高 |
| [20:09] | Thanks for doing this, Han. | 谢谢你为我做的这些 阿憨 |
| [20:12] | Anyone in the hug business? | 有人想来大抱一个吗 |
| [20:17] | I didn’t even flinch. | 我都没被吓到 |
| [20:18] | We are making progress. | 咱们真的有进步啊 |
| [20:21] | You coming, Earl? | 你跟来吗 厄尔 |
| [20:22] | Sure am. | 当然啦 |
| [20:23] | Don’t want to get stuck being a cashier my whole life. | 我可不想一辈子都困在收银员这位置上 |
| [20:28] | Oleg, you forgot the damn squirrel. | 奥列格 你忘了那只松鼠啦 |
| [20:35] | Come on, little guy. | 走吧 小伙子 |
| [20:37] | We don’t abandon anybody. | 我们不会丢下任何一个人 |