时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:03] | I know I’ve been talking about Bobby all morning, | 我知道我已经聊了一早上的鲍比 |
[00:05] | but another thing I love about Bobby is, | 但我喜欢鲍比还有一个原因是 |
[00:07] | he just gets me. | 他能搞懂我 |
[00:09] | Can he come get you right now? | 那他现在能来把你搞走吗 |
[00:12] | Last night, I gave Bobby a little neck action. | 昨晚我给鲍比来了一点颈部激情 |
[00:16] | Neck action? Oh, racy! | 颈部激情 这么咸湿啊 |
[00:19] | What’s next, you gonna lift up your skirt | 接下来呢 是不是要掀起你的裙子 |
[00:21] | and show him your knees? | 露出你的膝盖给他看看 |
[00:22] | Maybe. | 说不定哦 |
[00:25] | Hey, Caroline, wait up! | 卡洛琳 等等我啊 |
[00:27] | Hide me, Max. | 掩护我 麦克斯 |
[00:28] | Bobby hasn’t seen me in my waitress uniform, | 鲍比还没看过我穿服务员制服的样子 |
[00:30] | or my right profile. | 也没见过我右半边的脸 |
[00:31] | It hasn’t been easy. | 一直用左侧示人真的很难 |
[00:33] | What is wrong with our uniform? | 我们的制服哪里有问题 |
[00:34] | I call her Carrie | 我叫它嘉丽 |
[00:36] | ’cause she’s got a little pig’s blood on her | 因为它身上也沾到了猪血 |
[00:37] | and she can’t be destroyed by fire. | 而且它无法被火焰烧毁 |
[00:41] | Morning, beautiful. | 早安啊 小美人 |
[00:42] | I got you a macchiato. | 我给你买了一杯玛奇朵 |
[00:43] | And a supportive round of applause | 就得到如雷般鼓励的掌声 |
[00:45] | when I told them the name was Caroline. | 因为他们听到我是帮卡洛琳买 |
[00:47] | Bobby, you are so sweet. | 鲍比 你太贴心了 |
[00:49] | This has skim milk, right? | 这加的是脱脂牛奶吧 |
[00:52] | Oh, whatever! | 无所谓啦 |
[00:54] | Uh, why are you using Max as a human shield? | 你为什么要拿麦克斯当肉盾 |
[00:56] | Oh, don’t worry. I’m used to it. | 没关系啦 我习惯了 |
[00:58] | It’s how my mom robbed all those Carvels in the ’90s. | 我小时候我妈打劫餐厅时 也都用我当肉盾 |
[01:02] | I should get going. | 我该走啦 |
[01:03] | So… group hug? | 所以… 来个团抱抱吗 |
[01:07] | I’m still trying to figure out where to take you on our third date. | 我还在想第三次约会该带你去哪 |
[01:09] | I want it to be special. | 我希望这是个特别的约会 |
[01:10] | Also, I’m either caught on Max’s button | 还有 我要么是压到了麦克斯的纽扣 |
[01:12] | or she has a tiny, round penis. | 不然就是她有个又小又圆的鸡鸡 |
[01:17] | Might want to get that jacket tested. | 建议你带你夹克去验性病 |
[01:19] | I’ll see ya. | 再见啦 |
[01:25] | Third date? | 第三次约会吗 |
[01:26] | You know what that means, don’t you? | 你知道这代表啥意思 对吧 |
[01:29] | Going by my last third date, | 如果以我上一个第三次为例 |
[01:30] | he comes out of the closet, | 他在第三次约会时出柜 |
[01:31] | and we still date for two years. | 然后我们仍持续约会了两年 |
[01:34] | No! | 不是 |
[01:35] | It means more neck action, just lower. | 是代表更多颈部激情 只是是下面 |
[01:39] | Your between-legs neck. | 你双腿间的那个”颈部” |
[01:41] | You’re an adult, Max. | 麦克斯 你是个成年人了 |
[01:43] | It’s called a noony-noo. | 那个叫疯狂吸尘器 |
[01:46] | And I thought sex was on the tenth date, | 而且我还以为做爱是要到第十次约会 |
[01:48] | after he accidentally says, “I love you.” | 在他不小心说出”我爱你”后才”做” |
[01:51] | Everybody knows the third date means sex. | 大家都知道第三次约会就代表打炮 |
[01:54] | And the fourth date means he gets oddly distant | 而第四次约会是他莫名变得很有距离感 |
[01:56] | and crazy busy at work. | 而且工作突然超忙 |
[02:11] | Hey, Earl, how’s it hanging? | 厄尔 今天[吊着]好吗 |
[02:13] | Lower than anyone will tell you, Max. | 麦克斯 别说吊了 都垂到地上了 |
[02:16] | I thought a snake followed me into the bathroom this morning. | 今早上厕所时 还以为有蛇跟我进来了 |
[02:21] | What’s up with you girls? | 你们俩姑娘好吗 |
[02:22] | Oh, Caroline is going on a third date. | 卡洛琳要进行第三次约会啦 |
[02:25] | Oh, some between-legs neck action is on. | 马上要有双腿之间的”颈部激情”啦 |
[02:29] | I am really not familiar with this phrase. | 我真是压根没听说过你们这词 |
[02:32] | And I’m pretty sure this whole “third date sex” rule | 而且我也挺确定这个”第三约即炮”的规矩 |
[02:34] | isn’t really a thing. | 不是什么公认潜规则 |
[02:36] | Waiting until the third date for sex? | 等到第三次约会才打炮啊 |
[02:39] | What are you, a nun? | 你是修女吗 |
[02:42] | Hey, everybody! | 大家安安 |
[02:46] | Oh, all right. | 好啦 |
[02:48] | Don’t talk to Baby Barbara. We’re in a fight. | 别跟芭芭拉宝宝说话 我俩在吵架 |
[02:52] | She thought that the Fifty Shades book | 她觉得情欲的《五十度》系列小说 |
[02:54] | was better than the movie. | 比电影版好看 |
[02:58] | Sophie, have you ever heard that you’re supposed to | 苏菲 你听说过大家应该在 |
[03:00] | have sex on the third date? | 第三次约会时做爱的事吗 |
[03:02] | Oh, that’s a nun thing, right? | 不是修女才这么等吗 |
[03:05] | I am so glad I don’t have to deal with this kind of stuff anymore. | 我好庆幸我再也不需要面对这种事情 |
[03:08] | I am officially retired from sex. | 我已经正式从炮界金盆洗洞 |
[03:11] | Not sure how many of you have heard the news, | 不知道你们从新闻上听说了没 |
[03:13] | but not sure how many of you read “Juggs.” | 也不知道你们读不读色情杂志《巨乳》 |
[03:16] | It got too political. | 那杂志变得太严肃 |
[03:18] | That’s why I turned to “Cans.” | 所以我后来改读《大奶》杂志 |
[03:22] | Max, what are you talking about? | 麦克斯 你说啥鬼话 |
[03:23] | You can’t retire from sex. | 你怎么可以从炮界退休 |
[03:25] | It’s your thing, like Cheetos | 那是你的特色啊 就像奇多零食 |
[03:27] | or zeroing in on people’s vulnerabilities. | 还有对准别人内心脆弱之处痛击 |
[03:30] | What? Sorry, I was distracted by your nose pimple. | 啥 没听清 我被你鼻子上的痘痘搞分心了 |
[03:34] | I just feel like I need to get out of the game. | 我只是觉得自己需要退圈远离江湖 |
[03:37] | I had a good run, just ask | 在炮界我没有遗憾 你随便问人 |
[03:38] | literally anybody. | 问任何人都能证明 |
[03:40] | But now it’s your turn. | 现在是你发光发热的时候了 |
[03:42] | Well, when one pair of legs closes, | 当一双腿合上时 |
[03:45] | another one opens. | 世上会有另一双腿打开 |
[03:47] | Yeah, that’s what Polish Oprah says. | 我们波兰的奥普拉就这么说 |
[03:51] | And you get hanged if you disagree with her. | 而如果你跟她唱反调 你就会被吊死 |
[03:56] | Max, it doesn’t take a genius… | 麦克斯 这事都不用天才… |
[03:58] | although my Facebook IQ test says I qualify as one… | 虽然我在脸书做的智商测试说我是天才… |
[04:01] | to know that this whole retirement thing | 但不用天才也知道你这炮界退休 |
[04:03] | is about your breakup with Randy. | 还不是因为你跟兰迪分手的事 |
[04:05] | It also said you had 362 friends. | 脸书也写了你有362个朋友 |
[04:09] | And we all know you barely have one. | 但我们都心知肚明你压根就没朋友 |
[04:12] | This has nothing to do with Randy. | 我这事情跟兰迪没有任何关系 |
[04:15] | My sex throne is yours now. | 我的性爱王座现在换你坐 |
[04:17] | I would maybe put a towel down. | 但我建议你垫块毛巾再坐 |
[04:21] | Max, you can’t get out of the game | 麦克斯 你不能这时候退出啊 |
[04:22] | just when I’m getting back in. | 我才刚回归炮界你就走 |
[04:24] | I wanted us to have sex together. | 我希望我们能一起做爱 |
[04:28] | Well, clear up that nose zit, and we’ll talk. | 先把你鼻子的痘给挤了 我们再谈 |
[04:32] | Speaking of nose zits. | 说鼻痘某个小鼻痘就来 |
[04:35] | Han, Max is about to give up sex. | 阿憨 麦克斯想从此不做爱 |
[04:38] | Tell her how bad life is without it. | 快告诉她不做爱的人生有多惨 |
[04:41] | It’s actually quite rich. | 其实还挺丰富的呢 |
[04:42] | I was just saying to Mossimo down at the boccie court… | 刚才我还在地滚球球场跟莫西摩说到… |
[04:45] | Thank you! I rest my case. | 谢谢 我已无需再言 |
[04:47] | And tomorrow I’m taking golf lessons | 我明天还要去上高尔夫球课呢 |
[04:49] | thanks to our community board. | 多亏有我们的社区委员会组织 |
[04:51] | Apparently, I don’t meet the weight minimum | 另外也因为我的体重达不到练习 |
[04:53] | for Krav Maga. | 以色列近身格斗术的最低标准 |
[04:55] | You know what? I’ll go with you. | 这样吧 我跟你一起去 |
[04:58] | Retired people love golf. | 退休人士爱打高尔夫 |
[04:59] | Just like you lesbians. | 就像你们拉拉也都爱打 |
[05:02] | Welcome to the club. | 欢迎加入俱乐部[球杆] |
[05:04] | Oh, look, we just made a golf pun. | 听啊 我们刚说了高球的双关语 |
[05:07] | This is gonna be fun! | 接下来一定会很好玩 |
[05:10] | I hope to God you know what you’re doing. | 我真心希望你知道你自己在干嘛 |
[05:15] | If I am gonna have sex with Bobby, I need new underwear. | 如果我要跟鲍比做爱 我得穿新内裤 |
[05:18] | My current pair has more holes than the plot of Arrival. | 我现在这件上的破洞比《降临》剧情漏洞还多 |
[05:22] | So you came here? | 所以你来这里买吗 |
[05:24] | There’s no lube aisle. | 这里没有润滑油区 |
[05:25] | None of the mannequins are doing each other. | 也没有任何假人在搞另一个假人 |
[05:28] | This is a classy lingerie store, | 这间可是上等内衣店 |
[05:30] | not Second-Hand Hose. | 不是二手婊服店 |
[05:33] | I got kicked out of there. | 我被那店的人踢出来了 |
[05:34] | I ate a pair of edible underwear | 我把一盒可食用内裤吃了 |
[05:36] | and I put the box back on the shelf. | 吃完还把盒子给放回架子上 |
[05:39] | Ladies, I’m Rita. Welcome to the Art of Seduction, | 女士们 我是瑞塔 欢迎来到魅惑之艺 |
[05:42] | where seduction begins with… | 一切的魅惑都始于… |
[05:43] | A shot of tequila | 始于一杯龙舌兰 |
[05:45] | and ends with a shot of penicillin? | 最后以一针盘尼西林治梅毒结尾 |
[05:47] | Not what I was going to say at all. | 完全不是我要接的台词 |
[05:48] | What can I help you ladies with? | 不过有何能为两位效劳呢 |
[05:50] | Uh, she has a third date situation happening. | 她马上要进行第三次约会了 |
[05:53] | Do you have anything that says “Grand Reopening”? | 你有符合”重新大开幕”的内裤吗 |
[05:57] | I want to be naughty. | 我希望风骚一点 |
[05:58] | But I get cold. | 但是又容易觉得冷 |
[06:01] | I found your shoelace section, but where is the underwear? | 我看到了你们的鞋带专区 你们的内裤专区呢 |
[06:05] | That is underwear, | 那就是内裤 |
[06:06] | and you’re holding it backwards. | 而且你拿反了 |
[06:11] | Oh, sure, I see it now. | 好吧 我现在看出来了 |
[06:13] | Let’s go to Target. | 我们去平价百货吧 |
[06:15] | And, uh, what about you? | 那你呢 |
[06:17] | Any third dates coming up? | 有没有”第三次约会”啊 |
[06:18] | Actually, no. | 并没有呢 |
[06:19] | I am retired, sexually. | 我从炮界退休了 |
[06:22] | Took the sock off the door and now I’m wearing it. | 把门把上的袜子拿下 自己穿上了 |
[06:26] | Come on, Max, we both know you’re not | 别闹了 麦克斯 我们都心知肚明 |
[06:28] | really retired from sex. | 你不是真的退出炮界 |
[06:30] | We are two young, sexual beings. | 我们是两个年轻性感尤物 |
[06:33] | Where are you supposed to wear this? | 这东西是该穿在哪里啊 |
[06:38] | That’s a purse. | 那是个手包 |
[06:41] | Uh, if I’m not retired, | 如果我不是真退休 |
[06:44] | then why did Larry Flynt send me a gold watch, | 那为什么拉里·弗林特会送我一只金表 |
[06:46] | thanking me for my 20 years of cervix. | 感谢我二十年来为国”服务”[子宫颈] |
[06:50] | How about this teddy? | 这件连体内衣如何 |
[06:52] | I just need simple underwear. | 我只需要简单款 |
[06:54] | I want a nice presentation for my noony-noo. | 我想让我的”疯狂吸尘器”看起来美美哒 |
[06:57] | Look, it doesn’t matter what you wear. | 其实你穿什么都无所谓 |
[06:58] | With a body like yours, it’s not gonna be on long. | 像你这样的身材 穿啥都很快会被脱掉 |
[07:00] | Ah, see, Max? She likes my body. | 看到没 麦克斯 她喜欢我的身材 |
[07:03] | Tastes have changed since I got out of the game. | 打从我退出江湖后 世人的口味就变了啊 |
[07:06] | And these panties are great to bounce in. | 这内裤很适合蹦跳时穿 |
[07:09] | The frills on the back really accentuate the twerk | 后面的荷边很能凸显你在做 |
[07:11] | when you’re doing the Swingin’ Linda. | 摇摆琳达这招时的小电臀 |
[07:18] | Linda | 琳达 |
[07:19] | must have a bunch of back problems. | 想必是有着无数背部伤痛的奇女子 |
[07:22] | Oh, my God. Do I have to do that? | 天啊 我需要做这招吗 |
[07:25] | Whatever happened to lying down? | 当年美好的死鱼般躺下呢 |
[07:27] | That’s a guy’s job now. | 现在那是男生做的工作了 |
[07:29] | Skanks like us ruined that for you. | 我们这样的荡妇坏了你们的规矩 |
[07:32] | She’s not wrong, but | 她没说错 不过呢 |
[07:34] | I teach a burlesque class around the corner. | 我有在街角开舞娘班 |
[07:36] | You should come. | 你应该来上上 |
[07:37] | It can, uh, really help you get in touch with your body. | 可以帮助你更亲密接触自己的身体 |
[07:40] | Oh, it’s okay, I’m already very in touch with my body. | 不用了 我已经与自己有非常亲密的”接触”了 |
[07:43] | Oh, yeah. She’s real in touch. | 是啊 她超”深入接触” |
[07:46] | This one’s keeping Duracell in business. | 她废的电池够养活一个电池公司呢 |
[07:52] | Max, I wish you had gotten something at the lingerie store. | 麦克斯 我希望你也有从内衣店买了东西 |
[07:55] | That saddle looked really good under you. | 你骑上去的那个鞍好好看 |
[07:59] | Most things do. | 被我骑都显好看 |
[08:00] | Did! I’m retired! | 是曾被 我已经退休了 |
[08:02] | We both know your retirement isn’t gonna last. | 我们都知道你退休不了多久就会复出 |
[08:05] | You’re like The Rolling Stones, | 就像是滚石乐队一样 |
[08:07] | but with more of your own blood. | 但你是用你自己的血来血偿 |
[08:12] | Really? | 是吗 |
[08:17] | Do I look like someone who will | 我看起来像是 |
[08:19] | ever have sex again? | 这辈子还有炮打的人吗 |
[08:24] | Clothes jinx! | 撞衫你倒霉 |
[08:29] | It’s like looking in a funhouse mirror. | 感觉像看到哈哈镜里的自己 |
[08:33] | Without the fun. | 但是少了哈哈 |
[08:35] | I just came by to say our tee time is tomorrow at 1:00. | 我就过来告诉你明天下午茶是下午一点 |
[08:39] | We’re in a foursome with Mitch and Bill. | 我们跟米奇与比尔四人行 |
[08:41] | Whatever you do, don’t mention | 无论如何千万别 |
[08:42] | the Gulf War in front of Mitch. | 在米奇面前提到海湾战争 |
[08:44] | Even when you say “Golf,” | 就算你要说”还弯” |
[08:45] | really hit the O. | 也确保要字正腔圆 |
[08:48] | Max, come on, don’t you want to unretire | 麦克斯 别这样 你难道就不想 |
[08:50] | and have a real foursome again? | 再战江湖 来真正的”四人行”吗 |
[08:52] | Like you used to, on my bed, | 就像你以前跟另外两人在我床上 |
[08:54] | while I’m trying to read? | 而我试图在看书的那会 |
[08:55] | I like this sexless existence. | 我喜欢现在这种无性生活 |
[08:57] | I don’t know what you’ve been complaining about. | 我不知道你一直在抱怨什么 |
[09:00] | And besides, I can finally let myself go, | 而且我终于可以放飞自我 |
[09:02] | hygenital-ly. | 往卫生洞洞的天空飞去 |
[09:04] | So because you got hurt by Randy, | 所以就因为你被兰迪伤了心 |
[09:06] | you’re never gonna have sex again? | 你就再也不打算做爱了 |
[09:08] | No, I’m never having sex again | 不 我再也不做爱 |
[09:09] | because I have no idea how to take off these pants. | 是因为我实在不知怎么脱掉这裤子 |
[09:16] | Bobby! What are you doing here? | 鲍比 你怎么来了 |
[09:20] | I couldn’t wait till tomorrow night to see you. | 我等不及到明晚才见你 |
[09:22] | I got this from a gay wedding; they were throwing them out | 我在一个基佬的婚礼捡到的 他们把这个丢掉 |
[09:24] | ’cause they were the wrong shade of red. | 因为这玫瑰不是他们想要的那种红 |
[09:27] | My God, this is just like The Bachelor. | 天啊 这就像是《单身汉》真人秀一样 |
[09:30] | Except I’m not getting HPV from a lagoon. | 不过少了节目上泡水后染性病的桥段 |
[09:34] | Hey, don’t worry, Max. I didn’t forget you. | 别担心 麦克斯 我没忘了你 |
[09:37] | My scratch-offs! | 我的刮刮乐 |
[09:39] | The grooms were throwing those out instead of rice. | 新郎们婚礼不撒米 而是撒这个 |
[09:41] | Well, that’s going on my Pinterest. | 好吧 我要发个朋友圈 |
[09:45] | So tomorrow night’s our big third date. | 明晚就是我们隆重的第三次约会啦 |
[09:48] | That’s what people keep telling me. | 大家也都是这么跟我说 |
[09:51] | I’ve got something real special planned. | 我准备了非常特别的东西呢 |
[09:53] | It’s exotic. | 很有异国风情 |
[09:54] | I think you’ll be very impressed. | 我想你肯定会大为赞叹 |
[09:57] | Oh, I’m sure I will be, | 我肯定会的 |
[09:59] | but it takes me a little while, | 不过过程得需要一点时间 |
[10:01] | and I’m quiet when I am. | 而且我是属于”不出声”赞叹那种 |
[10:04] | Hey, don’t worry. | 别担心 |
[10:06] | I’ll do all the work. | 你就放心把一切交给我 |
[10:09] | Well, I’ll pitch in a little. | 我也会出一点点力啦 |
[10:12] | It’s gonna be big. | 肯定会让你”大”吃一惊 |
[10:16] | See you tomorrow night. | 明晚见 |
[10:21] | Big and exotic? What is it, a parrot? | 又大又外来种[异国风] 什么玩意 鹦鹉吗 |
[10:25] | If it’s a cockatiel, then I’m back in the game. | 如果是鸡尾鹦鹉 那我愿意重回炮界 |
[10:28] | At least I have that really sexy underwear. | 至少我有超性感的内衣裤防身 |
[10:31] | Hey, girls. I heard the word “underwear.” | 姑娘们 我刚听到”内衣裤”这个词 |
[10:36] | Some old lady left her panties back here. | 有个老太婆把她的内裤落这里了 |
[10:40] | Oleg, those aren’t old lady panties, | 奥列格 那不是老太婆的内裤 |
[10:42] | they’re mine. | 那是我的 |
[10:44] | Are you bringing them to an old lady? | 你是要送给一位老太婆吗 |
[10:47] | Perhaps this gentleman’s wife? | 还是要送这位先生的夫人 |
[10:51] | Oleg, these are sexy. | 奥列格 这内裤很性感好吗 |
[10:53] | What makes you a panty expert? | 你凭什么觉得自己是内裤专家 |
[10:55] | Besides my official license plate from the state of arousal | 除了生鸡勃勃州颁发给我的官方老淫贼牌照 |
[10:59] | and my degree from Idu U? | 和操你大学颁发的学位证之外 |
[11:04] | Nothing. | 没了 |
[11:07] | I have to go to that burlesque class. | 我得去上舞娘课才行 |
[11:09] | I don’t know, you should see if | 我不知道 你应该看看 |
[11:10] | they have night classes at Idu U. | 操你大学有没有夜校可以上 |
[11:15] | How are you gonna dance in those golf clothes? | 你穿着打高尔夫球的衣服要怎么跳舞 |
[11:18] | How are you gonna dance looking like a slutty poodle? | 那你穿得像个放荡贵宾犬又怎么跳舞 |
[11:22] | Let’s just pick out our props. | 我们先来选道具吧 |
[11:23] | I’ve been sanitizing for this all morning. | 我一早上都在说服自己接受这门课 |
[11:26] | I was once dropped into a lake in a trunk just like this. | 我有次被人扔车后备箱投湖 就穿着这玩意 |
[11:29] | Those dock goons did not expect to see this gal again. | 那些码头暴徒肯定想不到我还活着 |
[11:33] | Ooh, feather boa! | 羽毛披肩 |
[11:35] | I haven’t worn something with feathers | 我好久没穿过带羽毛的东西了 |
[11:37] | since that pigeon flew into our fan. | 上次还是因为有鸽子飞进我们的电扇 |
[11:40] | I brought this from home. | 这是我从家带过来的 |
[11:41] | I got it on my third Carnival Cruise. | 是我第三次坐嘉年华邮轮的纪念品 |
[11:44] | Oh, let her have it! | 你就让给她吧 |
[11:46] | Girl’s going on a third date. | 这姑娘要进行第三次约会了 |
[11:47] | Ooh, that’s a gay first date. | 哇 那相当于基佬的第一次约会 |
[11:50] | My first date was a Hall & Oates concert. | 我第一次约会地点是霍尔与奥兹的音乐会 |
[11:53] | Yes, I’m old. | 没错 我老了 |
[11:55] | Welcome, everyone! | 欢迎各位同学 |
[11:57] | Let’s get started. It’s time to get sexy! | 我们开始上课了 一起来变性感吧 |
[11:59] | Yep, according to my “Hustler” watch, | 没错 根据我的《好色客》手表 |
[12:02] | It’s 11:69. | 现在时刻 11点69式 |
[12:04] | Can’t be right. Feels earlier. | 不对啊 感觉现在没那么晚 |
[12:07] | Hey, girls. | 姑娘们 |
[12:09] | I was screaming at you for three blocks to wait up. | 我吼着追了你们三条街 让你们等等我 |
[12:12] | But then sidewalk Caroline turned out to be a lamppost. | 结果发现人行道上的卡洛琳原来是路灯柱 |
[12:16] | Sophie, what are you doing here? | 苏菲 你来这里干嘛 |
[12:18] | Well, I saw the card on the board in the diner, | 我在餐厅看见了板子上的名片 |
[12:21] | and I wanted to spice up Oleg and my sex life. | 而且我想给我和奥列格的性生活增添点趣味 |
[12:24] | Yeah, I mean, we haven’t done it in front of | 我是说 我们有好几周没冲着 |
[12:25] | The Today Show window in weeks. | 《今日秀》的玻璃窗做爱了 |
[12:29] | I can’t believe they didn’t cut away | 我真不敢相信主持人在吐时 |
[12:30] | when Matt Lauer threw up. | 电视台居然没有把画面切掉 |
[12:33] | Last time I did it, you could | 我上一次做爱时 人们还能 |
[12:34] | still bring cocaine in your carry-on. | 把可卡因放在随身行李中 |
[12:37] | In this class, we are going to go deep | 在这门课上 我们要试着深入 |
[12:39] | and unleash our sexual goddesses. | 并释放我们体内的性感女神 |
[12:42] | Mine got me kicked out of the army. | 我体内的女神让我被军队踢出来了 |
[12:44] | They asked; I told. | 他们问 我说了 |
[12:46] | Let’s dive in! | 开始跳舞吧 |
[12:49] | Everybody get behind your chairs. | 大家到椅子后面 |
[12:51] | I’m gonna show you the routine and then I’ll break it down. | 我先给你们演示一遍 然后再分解动作 |
[12:53] | I’m so excited. | 我好兴奋啊 |
[12:54] | I’m about to lose control | 我即将失控 |
[12:55] | and I think I like it! | 我想我喜欢这种感觉 |
[12:58] | ♪ It’s not even my birthday ♪ | ♪ 今天不是我生日 ♪ |
[13:01] | ♪ But he want to lick the icing off ♪ | ♪ 不过他想舔掉蛋糕的奶油 ♪ |
[13:04] | ♪ I know you want it in the worst way ♪ | ♪ 我知道你想用最赤裸的方式大快朵颐 ♪ |
[13:07] | ♪ Can’t wait to blow my candles out ♪ | ♪ 你已经迫不及待要吹灭蜡烛 ♪ |
[13:09] | ♪ He want that cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake ♪ | ♪ 他想要吃我的蛋糕 ♪ |
[13:13] | ♪ It’s not even my birthday but…♪ | ♪ 今天不是我生日 ♪ |
[13:16] | You know what? I don’t need to have sex. | 算了 我做不做爱都无所谓 |
[13:18] | I’ll just play golf with you. | 我还是跟你去打高尔夫吧 |
[13:21] | Uh, I play golf to get away from my wife. | 我打高尔夫是为了甩开我老婆 |
[13:25] | Well, I’m exhausted. | 我好累 |
[13:26] | I need a nap. | 我得打个盹 |
[13:30] | After I dance is when we usually lose most of the class. | 通常我一跳完就会流失大部分学生 |
[13:33] | Now, before I teach you the actual moves, | 在我教大家真正的舞步前 |
[13:35] | I want you to just feel your body | 我想让你们去感受自己的身体 |
[13:37] | and let it go. | 并释放它 |
[13:38] | Who wants to give it a shot? | 谁想来试试 |
[13:39] | Oh, I do! I do! | 我来 我来 |
[13:41] | I want to put the “ass” in “class.” | 我要在”舞娘课”上”舞臀” |
[13:44] | Sophie, if I wanted to see your ass, | 苏菲 如果我想看你的臀 |
[13:46] | I’d get up early and watch The Today Show. | 我直接早起看《今日秀》就行了 |
[14:06] | I’m stuck, but you know what? | 我卡住了 |
[14:06] | I swear to God, I can make it work. | 我对天发誓 我一定能跳好 |
[14:14] | I’m, uh, scared to ask this, | 我都不太敢问了 |
[14:16] | but who’s next? | 可谁想下一个来 |
[14:18] | Is it okay if I try? | 我能试试吗 |
[14:19] | That was probably the only act I could follow. | 那动作是我唯一能跟上的了 |
[14:22] | Go, girl! | 加油 妹子 |
[14:50] | I didn’t think these pants came with a boner. | 我不记得身上这条裤子会让人”硬起来”啊 |
[14:54] | I don’t know where that came from. | 我完全不知道是怎么回事 |
[14:55] | You know how they say the rhythm is gonna get you? | 人们常说旋律会感染人 |
[14:58] | It got me! | 果然是真的 |
[15:00] | Well, I gotta go. | 我得走了 |
[15:02] | It’s ass past two. | 屁股过了两点的位置了 |
[15:04] | Well, your ass isn’t getting past me. | 你的屁股休想从我这过 |
[15:07] | Ooh, now that I can dance, | 我现在能跳这舞后 |
[15:08] | I’m sassy too. | 个性也变霸气了 |
[15:13] | Let’s tease. And tease. | 卖弄风骚 卖骚 |
[15:15] | Did I do that? Did I do that? | 装纯情 人家没有卖骚啦 |
[15:17] | And tease. And tease. | 继续卖骚 卖骚 |
[15:19] | I did do that. I did do that. | 真豪放 我的确在卖骚 |
[15:21] | And pump. And grind. | 前后动 扭屁股 |
[15:23] | And pump. And grind. | 前后动 扭屁股 |
[15:24] | Wink. | 抛媚眼 |
[15:26] | That’s how I got to this country. | 我就是这样来到这个国家的 |
[15:28] | Except I was also rowing. | 不过我当时还一边在划船 |
[15:33] | Why aren’t you participating? | 你为什么不跟着跳 |
[15:34] | Like I told that guy in sweatpants last week, | 我上周也这么跟那穿运动裤的男人说 |
[15:36] | you can’t just sit here and watch. | 你不能光坐在那里看 |
[15:38] | Well, unlike that guy, | 我跟那家伙不一样 |
[15:40] | my days of sexy moves are behind me. | 卖弄风骚对我来说已是过去式了 |
[15:42] | From now on, the only balls I’ll be smacking | 从现在开始 我唯一会亲密接触的”球” |
[15:44] | are on the golf course. | 在高尔夫球场上 |
[15:47] | You’re really gonna give up on who you are | 你真的要放弃自己的本性 |
[15:49] | because of Randy? | 就因为兰迪吗 |
[15:51] | She went through a breakup, | 她经历了一场分手 |
[15:52] | and she swore off sex, | 就发誓要戒掉性爱 |
[15:53] | and I’m worried maybe deodorant. | 我有点担心她连除臭剂都戒了 |
[15:56] | Oh, yeah, that’s | 这个呢… |
[15:58] | probably my bag of dirty diapers in my purse. | 可能是我包包里的那包脏尿布 |
[16:02] | I’m putting them in my baby book. | 放在宝宝纪念册里作为留念嘛 |
[16:05] | This is what this class is all about. | 这就是这门课的意义所在 |
[16:07] | Taking all that pain and anger | 将所有痛苦与愤怒 |
[16:09] | and making it sexy. | 变成性感的舞步 |
[16:10] | I thought this was about making my booty clap. | 我还以为这门课能把我的屁股练到能鼓掌 |
[16:13] | We’ll get there, Gavin. | 会练到的 加文 |
[16:16] | So tell me about this guy, Randy. | 跟我说说兰迪这个人 |
[16:19] | Uh, there’s nothing to say. | 没什么好说的 |
[16:20] | It’s not about him. | 这事跟他无关 |
[16:21] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
[16:23] | Did he bring you down low? | 他让你心情消沉吗 |
[16:25] | Oh, sure he did. Real low. | 当然 沉到谷”底” |
[16:28] | Shake you up? | 让你爽翻天吗 |
[16:29] | All shook up. | 爽到升”天” |
[16:31] | Hey, get your ass out of my face, razor hips. | 别在老娘面前晃你的没肉屁股 |
[16:34] | Did he spin you around | 他可曾让你转过身子 |
[16:37] | and slide right out of your life? | 然后从你的生活中溜走吗 |
[16:39] | Like a greasy McNugget! | 就像油腻的麦乐鸡 |
[16:40] | Show me that nugget. | 让我看看你的宝贝鸡 |
[16:42] | I would, but I can’t take these pants off. | 我也想 可这裤子脱不下来 |
[16:45] | Max, come on. | 麦克斯 拜托 |
[16:46] | You can’t let one bad experience ruin everything. | 你不能让一次痛苦经历毁掉一切 |
[16:49] | Otherwise, I’d never use our bath mat again. | 我如果像你 我也用不了我们的浴室地垫 |
[16:51] | It’s hot for no reason. | 那玩意莫名其妙烫脚 |
[16:53] | Yeah, I’m double parked! Come on, dance already! | 对啊 我都违章停车了 快跳一个啦 |
[16:56] | Fine! If it will get me out of here. | 好吧 如果这样我能赶紧离开的话 |
[17:07] | That’s right, get it out there! | 没错 释放出来 |
[17:09] | Bump, bump! Grind, grind! | 我撞撞撞 我扭扭扭 |
[17:11] | Duck, duck, goose! Wink! | 鸭鸭鹅 抛媚眼 |
[17:19] | Ooh, yeah, bounce, baby, bounce! | 跳起来 宝贝 跳起来 |
[17:22] | God, this is so real! | 天啊 太真实了 |
[17:31] | Okay! Fine! | 好吧 我承认 |
[17:33] | Maybe I am shut down ’cause of Randy. | 或许我的确是因为兰迪而封闭自我 |
[17:36] | See, you needed to get that out. Do you feel better? | 瞧 你需要说出来 感觉好点了吗 |
[17:40] | No, I got a splinter in my face. | 不好 我脸上插了木头倒刺 |
[17:43] | Well, if you’ll excuse me, | 不好意思 我要失陪了 |
[17:45] | I have a golf lesson to get to. | 我得去上高尔夫球课了 |
[17:48] | Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, Max out. | 晃晃屁屁 各位拜拜 |
[17:52] | She won’t tell anyone | 她不会告诉别人 |
[17:53] | she learned those moves here, will she? | 那些舞步是在这里学的吧 |
[17:56] | I was the best, right? | 我是最棒的 对吧 |
[17:57] | Because it matters to me. | 因为我很在乎名次 |
[18:01] | Hide your husbands. Hide your wives. | 快把你们的老公老婆藏起来 |
[18:04] | Max is back. | 麦克斯回归了 |
[18:05] | I’m out of retirement | 我要挥别退休生涯 |
[18:07] | and these pants, as soon as I can get them off. | 和这条裤子 我会尽快脱掉的 |
[18:10] | Oh, my God, you slept with Han? | 天啊 你是跟阿憨上床了吗 |
[18:14] | Let me find that machete you gave me | 让我先找出你当初给我 |
[18:16] | in case this ever happened. | 说如果你俩睡了 就拿出来砍死你的刀 |
[18:18] | No, she slept with our golf pro. | 不 她睡的是我们的高尔夫球手 |
[18:20] | Once again, I was left holding my putter. | 我又一次拿着推杆被人扔下不管 |
[18:24] | Yep, I’m back, | 是的 我重出江湖了 |
[18:25] | and I have the grass stains on my head to prove it. | 我头上的草汁渍可以作证 |
[18:28] | See? That class helped everyone. | 瞧 那堂课帮了所有人 |
[18:31] | Except Sophie… by the time I left, | 除了苏菲 我走的时候 |
[18:33] | she had three more chairs on her. | 身上又多卡住了三把椅子 |
[18:36] | Hey, everybody! | 大家安安 |
[18:41] | Brace yourself. | 做好准备 |
[18:43] | Sophie got sexified. | 苏菲性趣十足 |
[19:10] | Oh, my God. | 额滴神 |
[19:12] | Between those moves and that sexy neck brace, | 这舞步和那性感的脖圈 |
[19:15] | it’s too much for me to take. | 我的小心脏快要承受不了 |
[19:18] | This is what I get for telling that genie | 这就是我跟精灵说 |
[19:20] | I wanted to live to be 100. | 我想活到100岁的下场 |
[19:33] | Sophie… | 苏菲 |
[19:35] | could I see you in the walk-in freezer? | 能去冷库那里碰面吗 |
[19:38] | And if you don’t mind, could you add a limp? | 如果你不介意 能不能加上瘸腿舞步 |
[19:48] | You know what the sexiest thing about it is? | 你知道最性感的部分是什么吗 |
[19:51] | The limp is real. | 瘸腿是真的 |
[19:58] | Hey, buddy. | 兄弟 |
[19:59] | What’s going on, man? | 你好呀 |
[20:00] | Bobby! | 鲍比 |
[20:02] | Hey, I was just on my lunch break, | 我刚午餐休息 |
[20:04] | thought I’d stop by and almost see you. | 想说过来看你 结果只看见一个头 |
[20:08] | Well, it was nice dating you. | 跟你约会很开心 |
[20:10] | This is my uniform. I know, it’s… | 这是我的工作制服 我知道它… |
[20:12] | Hot. Really, really hot. | 正 真的超正 |
[20:14] | You look like a sexy pencil. | 你看起来像是一根性感的铅笔 |
[20:18] | But I bought all this really sexy, | 可我专门买了超性感 |
[20:20] | very zipper-heavy underwear to wear on our third date. | 还很多拉链的内衣 等着第三次约会时穿 |
[20:23] | Why would I see your underwear on our third date? | 为什么第三次约会时我会看见你的内衣 |
[20:25] | Doesn’t that happen on the tenth? | 那不是应该在第十次的时候吗 |
[20:27] | That’s what I said! | 我也是这么说的 |
[20:29] | You people are animals! | 你们这群禽兽 |
[20:33] | But what was all that talk about | 但你上次不是说 |
[20:35] | our date being big and exotic? | 我们的约会会又大又异国风吗 |
[20:37] | I was gonna take you to this Moroccan place. | 我是打算带你去那家摩洛哥餐厅 |
[20:39] | They don’t have chairs. We sit on pillows. | 那里没有椅子 我们得坐枕头上 |
[20:42] | That is exotic. | 那的确很异国风[奇特] |
[20:45] | You might want to hold off on the sex. | 你们俩最好先停一停 别着急滚床单 |
[20:47] | You two might be related. | 因为你俩没准是兄妹 |