| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Max, guess who’s getting a divorce. | 麦克斯 你猜谁要离婚了 |
| [00:03] | Please tell me it’s us. | 请告诉我是我们 |
| [00:06] | Nope, we’ll be together way past when we should be. | 不是 我们这段孽缘想断都断不了呢 |
| [00:10] | Like The Rolling Stones. | 就像滚石乐队一样 |
| [00:13] | It’s Jason and Winona Williams. | 要离婚的是杰森与薇诺娜·威廉姆斯夫妇 |
| [00:16] | Wow, I really thought those two were gonna make it. | 真的吗 我一直以为这一对会天长地久呢 |
| [00:19] | We’re talking about those two sisters who play tennis, right? | 我们说的是打女子网球的威廉姆斯姐妹吧 |
| [00:23] | Never heard of them, | 没听说过他们 |
| [00:24] | but there are a lot of famous people I’ve never heard of. | 但我不认识的名人多了去了 |
| [00:26] | Like that guy who’s on TV sometimes and he’s always like, | 比如偶尔会在电视上出现 还总念叨着 |
| [00:28] | “Blah, blah, I’m on TV.” | “略略略 我上电视啦” |
| [00:31] | Yeah, that’s Bill Maher. | 那是比尔·马赫 |
| [00:33] | Anyway, they’re rich, globe-trotting socialites, | 反正他们是有钱又全球到处玩的上流人士 |
| [00:36] | and they want to throw a party at our dessert bar | 他们要在我们甜品酒吧举行派对 |
| [00:38] | to celebrate the collapse of their marriage. | 来庆祝他们婚姻破裂 |
| [00:41] | They celebrate divorce now? | 这年头都开始庆祝离婚啦 |
| [00:42] | My mom missed out on, like, 12 parties. | 那我妈错过了大概12场派对吧 |
| [00:45] | They’re coming tomorrow to see the place, | 他们明天会来店里看看环境 |
| [00:47] | so maybe don’t wear your “Team Satan” T-shirt. | 所以最好别穿你的”撒旦小队”T恤吧 |
| [00:52] | Why, ’cause there’s a stain on it? | 为啥 因为上面沾了污渍吗 |
| [00:54] | No, this could be a $5,000 job, Max. | 这活儿能挣五千块呢 麦克斯 |
| [00:58] | I was offered a $5,000 job once. | 我也有过能挣五千块的邀约啊 |
| [01:00] | I said, “No way.” | 我说”想都别想” |
| [01:03] | Come to think of it, that was Bill Maher. | 现在想想 邀约我的就是比尔·马赫 |
| [01:20] | Hey, look, | 快看 |
| [01:21] | it’s Saddington Bear. | 蠢丁笨熊 |
| [01:21] | 帕丁顿熊 英国文学中的虚构角色 总是戴着帽子 拿着皮箱 穿着厚呢风衣 | |
| [01:26] | Oof, unlike torrential rain, | 外面的暴风暴雨可挡 |
| [01:28] | this jacket does not repel insults. | 但你的暴风吐槽难防 |
| [01:31] | I have to go check the drains. | 我得去检查排水沟 |
| [01:33] | Oh, if you find my love life down there, | 如果你在里面找到我的爱情生活 |
| [01:34] | bring it back to me. | 请帮我带回来 |
| [01:37] | Han, the hurricane ain’t coming, man. | 阿憨 台风不会来的啦 |
| [01:40] | My body always knows when a disaster is on its way. | 我的身体能感知到灾难的来临 |
| [01:43] | It predicted the ’97 El Nino | 我预测到了97年厄尔尼诺现象 |
| [01:46] | and my third wife, Diane. | 以及我第三任妻子 戴安 |
| [01:49] | That’s true, and when he gets chest pains, | 是真的 比如他感到胸痛的时候 |
| [01:51] | it means it’ll be partly cloudy. | 就表示天上局部多云 |
| [01:53] | No, that’s a heart attack. | 不 是表示我心脏病犯了 |
| [01:56] | Shortness of breath means partly cloudy. | 呼吸急促才代表局部多云 |
| [01:59] | Pardon me if I don’t just blindly trust Earl. | 我不盲目地相信厄尔能怪我吗 |
| [02:02] | He voted for Richard Nixon, | 他投票给理查德·尼克松呢 |
| [02:03] | this year. | 今年投给他哦 |
| [02:05] | Man, he’s gonna get us out of Vietnam. | 他会把我们从越南救出来的 |
| [02:09] | Well, I’m not taking any chances. | 我才不要冒这风险 |
| [02:11] | This may come as a shock to you, | 或许这话你们无法想象 |
| [02:13] | but this diner is all I have! | 但这餐厅是我的一切 |
| [02:15] | Not true. | 才不是呢 |
| [02:17] | You also have tiny arms and legs. | 你还有小短手和小短腿呢 |
| [02:22] | Oh, look, a Minion. | 快看 是小黄人呢 |
| [02:25] | Hey, everybody! | 大家安安 |
| [02:30] | Look, it’s me, my Barbara, and my Manny. | 是我 我的芭芭拉 跟我的男保姆 |
| [02:34] | Yeah, Oleg and I hired him to help with Baby Babs. | 我跟奥列格雇了他来帮忙照顾小芭 |
| [02:38] | You know, in Poland, | 你们知道吗 在波兰 |
| [02:40] | a Manny has to have his penis removed. | 必需得切掉鸡鸡才能当男保姆 |
| [02:43] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [02:44] | But here, he gets to keep it! | 但在美国 他能留着命根子呢 |
| [02:47] | I’m Max, this is my first time meeting a Manny. | 我叫麦克斯 这是我第一次见到男保姆 |
| [02:49] | I mean, a lot of men watched me when I was a teenager, | 我少女时期有过很多男性照”看”我 |
| [02:52] | but they paid me. | 但都是他们付我钱 |
| [02:55] | Shane! | 肖恩 |
| [02:56] | I’m not just paying you to stand around. | 我花钱可不是请你来干站着 |
| [02:59] | Well, at least burp one of us. | 也随便给我们其中一个打奶嗝吧 |
| [03:04] | Isn’t that the sweetest? | 是不是超萌超有爱 |
| [03:06] | My wife, my baby, | 我老婆 我闺女 |
| [03:08] | and the man with a lady’s job. | 以及一个做女人工作的男人 |
| [03:11] | You’re not nervous your Manny is, you know, | 你都不紧张你的男保姆… |
| [03:14] | extremely good-looking, | 长得超级好看 |
| [03:16] | and you’re, well… | 而你… |
| [03:17] | Hung? | 胯下有巨蟒吗 |
| [03:20] | He’s not good-looking. | 而且他哪里好看了 |
| [03:21] | His eyebrows don’t even meet in the middle. | 他的眉毛都没有连到一起 |
| [03:25] | Sophie didn’t want to hire a woman because | 苏菲不想请个女人是因为 |
| [03:27] | I walk around naked a lot, | 我经常裸体走来走去 |
| [03:29] | and I’m, well… | 而且我… |
| [03:31] | The grossest? | 是史上最恶心痴汉吗 |
| [03:34] | A stink machine? | 史上最臭变态 |
| [03:36] | Girls, my wife is here. | 姑娘们 我夫人在旁边看 |
| [03:38] | Stop flirting with me. | 请不要再勾引老爷我了 |
| [03:42] | Max, are you gonna go out with Shane? | 麦克斯 你会跟肖恩去约会吗 |
| [03:43] | Because he’s staring at you. | 他一直在盯着你呢 |
| [03:46] | Unless he’s trying really hard to read that sign. | 除非他是非常努力地看特价菜单 |
| [03:50] | Uh, I’m already in a relationship | 我已经名花有主了 |
| [03:52] | with Randy, remember him? | 我跟兰迪在一起 你还记得吧 |
| [03:54] | ‘Bout yay tall, yay wide, yay long. | 这么赞的高度 这么赞的厚度 这么赞的长度 |
| [03:56] | I know how “Yay long.” It’s your screensaver. | 我知道长度有多赞 那是你的屏保 |
| [03:59] | But, uh, didn’t you guys break up? | 但是… 你们不是分手了吗 |
| [04:05] | You are so naive, mi amigo. | 好傻好天真啊 朋友 |
| [04:09] | This is all part of me and Randy’s dance. | 这只是我跟兰迪之间的情趣过招 |
| [04:12] | I say we should break up, | 我提议我们分手 |
| [04:14] | and he says it’s definitely over, | 他说绝对是分手了 |
| [04:16] | so we’re still very much together. | 所以我们基本上还在一起啊 |
| [04:19] | I know I’ve been out of the game awhile, | 我知道我未涉足情场有段时日了 |
| [04:21] | but that makes less sense than dress Crocs. | 但你这段话比穿淑女洞洞鞋还让人无法理解 |
| [04:25] | I didn’t ask your opinion when I bought them, | 我买那鞋的时候就没想问你意见 |
| [04:27] | and I’m not asking for it now. | 我现在也没兴趣听你意见 |
| [04:29] | And this is the part of the dance | 而现在就到了过招中 |
| [04:30] | where he shows up and surprises me. | 他突然出现在我面前给我惊喜的桥段 |
| [04:32] | Damn it, I should have worn my Crocs. | 靠 我真该穿上我的淑女洞洞鞋 |
| [04:36] | Awful news! | 坏消息 |
| [04:37] | I was unable to fix the drains! | 我没办法修排水沟 |
| [04:40] | Turns out, | 因为我发现 |
| [04:41] | we don’t have any! | 我们压根就没有 |
| [04:43] | We need to protect ourselves. | 我们得自保 |
| [04:45] | I’ll be outside, filling sandbags. | 我去外面填防洪沙袋 |
| [04:47] | Anyone who wants to help, follow me. | 想帮我的人 跟我来 |
| [04:53] | No one’s behind me, are they? | 没人跟过来 是吧 |
| [04:55] | Nope, just the shadow of a child holding a lantern. | 没有 你身后只有一个孩子拿着灯笼的影子 |
| [05:00] | Oh, you know what, Shane? | 跟你说啊 肖恩 |
| [05:02] | I’m bored. | 我好无聊 |
| [05:04] | Now, come on, let’s go back to the apartment. | 咱们走吧 回公寓去 |
| [05:06] | And you can walk on my back while Barbara naps. | 你可以在芭芭拉睡觉的时候帮我踩背 |
| [05:09] | You know, like mannies do. | 正常男保姆都会那样做 |
| [05:12] | Bye. | 再见啦 |
| [05:14] | Let’s go! | 走啊 |
| [05:20] | Where are Jason and Winona? | 杰森与薇诺娜人呢 |
| [05:21] | They need to get here before the storm does | 他们得在暴风雨来之前到啊 |
| [05:23] | and my hair frizzes. | 而且我头发开始起静电了 |
| [05:25] | Well, Randy better get here before the storm too. | 兰迪最好也在暴风雨来之前出现在我面前 |
| [05:28] | Ooh, this could be him! | 有可能是他呢 |
| [05:30] | Damn it. | 靠 |
| [05:31] | The one time I don’t want a text from Chili’s. | 唯一一次不想收到餐厅特价广告就来了 |
| [05:34] | Although they’re practically giving away these sizzling fajitas. | 不过他们这个特价几乎跟白送没啥两样啊 |
| [05:39] | Jason and Winona! You made it. | 杰森与薇诺娜 你们到啦 |
| [05:41] | I was worried something horrible happened, | 我本来还担心 会不会发生什么意外呢 |
| [05:43] | like you got caught in the storm | 比如被困在暴风雨中 |
| [05:44] | or you got back together! | 或是你们重修旧好 |
| [05:49] | I think it has to be below zero | 得低于零度 |
| [05:51] | for hell to freeze over. | 火焰地狱结冻再说吧 |
| [05:53] | And we should know. We’ve been to the Arctic. | 我们很清楚 我们可是去过南极的人 |
| [05:56] | He murdered a penguin. | 他还杀了一只企鹅 |
| [05:58] | It was an accident! | 那是意外好吗 |
| [06:01] | If it was the penguin from Happy Feet, | 如果是动画片《快乐的大脚》里的企鹅 |
| [06:03] | you’ll pay for that with your life, my friend. | 朋友 你得付出惨痛的代价 |
| [06:06] | That’s Max. | 她是麦克斯 |
| [06:07] | She thinks cartoon characters are real. | 她觉得卡通人物都是真的 |
| [06:09] | I’m Caroline Channing. | 我叫卡洛琳·钱宁 |
| [06:10] | And she thinks Matthew McConaughey | 而她真的觉得马修·麦康纳 |
| [06:12] | actually loves driving a Lincoln. | 真的很享受开林肯汽车 |
| [06:15] | Why would he endorse that? He doesn’t need the money. | 不然他干嘛为这车子背书 他又不差钱 |
| [06:17] | End of story. | 就是这样 |
| [06:19] | This place is so cute. | 这里好有爱啊 |
| [06:21] | Almost as cute as the mud hut in Borneo | 几乎跟婆罗洲的小泥屋一样有爱 |
| [06:24] | where I realized I didn’t love you. | 就是我意识到自己不爱你的那地方 |
| [06:27] | That was five years ago. | 那不是五年前吗 |
| [06:29] | Okay, maybe save that for the toast? | 这么狠的台词何不留到敬酒时说呢 |
| [06:31] | Here’s some of the themed drinks we’re working on. | 这里是我们正在设计的一些主题饮品 |
| [06:33] | Almost Single Malt Scotch. | 就快单一[身]麦芽苏格兰威士忌 |
| [06:36] | Resent-Mint Chocolate Chip Cookie Shooters. | 负心薄荷巧克力饼干碎一口酒 |
| [06:39] | Still debating the | 还有正在商议的 |
| [06:41] | “Tequila” Him Would Have Been Easier shots. | “弄死兰”人就简单多了酒 |
| [06:46] | Oh, hate to break this meeting up, | 虽然很不想结束这次会面 |
| [06:48] | but I think my boyfriend’s here. | 但我男人来了 快滚吧 |
| [06:53] | Yeah, he doesn’t like to bother me when I’m working. | 他不喜欢在我工作的时候打扰我啦 |
| [06:56] | Well, maybe I should get going before the weather gets too bad. | 或许我该趁天气变更恶劣之前先走 |
| [06:59] | I have a date I should have gone on five years ago. | 我得去赴一场五年前早该去赴的约 |
| [07:02] | Oh, I bet it’s not even raining. | 我敢打赌压根没下雨 |
| [07:11] | See? Just a little sprinkle. | 你们看 毛毛雨而已 |
| [07:15] | You wear a bra? | 你还穿了胸罩啊 |
| [07:18] | The hurricane is headed right for Williamsburg. | 台风正朝着威廉斯堡迎头而来 |
| [07:21] | Fedoras are blowing down the streets. | 街上帽子被吹得满天飞 |
| [07:23] | Craft beers are spilling everywhere. | 精酿啤酒洒得满地都是 |
| [07:26] | And indie bands are cancelling practice. | 独立音乐乐团练习取消 |
| [07:29] | Sorry, girls, I guess Shakira was wrong. | 抱歉 姑娘们 夏奇拉错了 |
| [07:31] | My hips do lie. | 我的屁股说谎了 |
| [07:33] | This explains why Randy isn’t here yet. | 这就是为什么兰迪还没来 |
| [07:35] | He’s probably stuck in the storm. | 他估计是被困暴风雨里了 |
| [07:37] | Max, you’re being delusional. | 麦克斯 你这是妄想症发作啊 |
| [07:39] | And I know that because I’m delusional. | 我能看出来是因为我就妄想症很严重 |
| [07:42] | Han, I have to get home. | 阿憨 我得回家了 |
| [07:44] | Sophie’s alone with the Manny | 苏菲跟男保姆在家独处 |
| [07:45] | and she gets turned on by bad weather. | 而每当天气不好 她就特别性奋 |
| [07:48] | It’s true. | 是真的 |
| [07:49] | Last time it snowed, we made out a little bit. | 上次下雪 她还跟我亲热了一番 |
| [07:52] | Her favorite porno is The Perfect Storm, | 她最爱的色情片就是《完美风暴》[灾难片] |
| [07:55] | even with Diane Lane’s horrible Boston accent. | 哪怕片中女配角的烂波士顿口音都阻止不了 |
| [07:59] | Oleg, no, it’s too dangerous. | 奥列格 别啊 太危险了 |
| [08:01] | Yeah, it is. Han, go with him. | 对啊 阿憨 快陪他去 |
| [08:16] | Even the wind pushes Oleg away. | 但偏偏 风渐渐 把距离吹得好远 |
| [08:26] | That’s my worst experience being blown | 我上次被”吹”得那么惨还是 |
| [08:28] | since I got caught in the hand dryer in the ladies’ washroom. | 在女厕所里”那里”卡在干手机里 |
| [08:34] | Oh, no. Everyone into the walk-in. | 糟糕 大家快进冰库 |
| [08:38] | Well, I guess we’re stuck here. | 看来我们要被困在这里了 |
| [08:39] | Another hostage situation. | 又一次被当人质挟持了 |
| [08:41] | Just like our honeymoon. | 就像我们的蜜月 |
| [08:42] | Oh, you loved Tehran. | 少来 你明明喜欢德黑兰 |
| [08:45] | So do you guys want to see a sample menu? | 你们想看看菜单的样本吗 |
| [08:48] | Max, light a match so they can see. | 麦克斯点个火柴 方便人家看到 |
| [08:50] | Give me a sec. I’m looting the register. | 等我一下 我在搜刮提款机 |
| [08:52] | Sorry, it’s a reflex. | 抱歉 下意识反应 |
| [08:59] | Should we eat all the food before it expires? | 我们应该在食物过期前全吃完吗 |
| [09:02] | Two years ago. | 到期日两年前 |
| [09:04] | This is the safest place in the building. | 这里是整栋楼里最安全的地方了 |
| [09:07] | This used to be my gift-wrapping suite. | 这里曾是我的包礼物小套房 |
| [09:10] | I mean, man cave. | 我是说我的男人窝啦 |
| [09:12] | Am I sitting on a sack of potatoes? | 我是坐到了一袋土豆上吗 |
| [09:15] | Nope. Just my prostate. | 不是 是我肥大的前列腺 |
| [09:18] | So sorry for the inconvenience. | 非常抱歉造成你们的不便 |
| [09:20] | Can I offer you some pinto beans? | 要不我请你们吃点斑豆 |
| [09:23] | A tub of slaw? | 来桶卷心菜沙拉 |
| [09:24] | Mouse skeleton? | 还是老鼠骨架 |
| [09:26] | Well, it does remind me of that time in the rainforest | 这的确让我回想起那时候在雨林 |
| [09:28] | when we stole that tribe’s food | 我们偷了当地部落的食物 |
| [09:30] | and they hung us up from our genitals. | 结果被他们绑着生殖器吊起来 |
| [09:32] | Oh, yeah. | 是啊 |
| [09:33] | Oh, you looked so cute that day. | 那天你看起来超可爱 |
| [09:36] | All upside down and screaming. | 整个人被倒挂着 还大叫 |
| [09:39] | Stop. | 别说了 |
| [09:40] | “Upside down and screaming”? | “倒挂[69]还大叫” |
| [09:42] | Oh, that’s it. | 真是够了 |
| [09:43] | I’m FaceTiming Sophie to make sure | 我要跟苏菲视频确保 |
| [09:45] | her storm door is sealed shut. | 她的”风口”紧紧关闭 |
| [09:49] | Sophie. | 苏菲 |
| [09:51] | For once I’m grateful you have all your clothes on. | 我第一次超感激你穿戴整齐 |
| [09:54] | Although… | 尽管… |
| [09:55] | stay focused, Oleg. | 别分心 奥列格 |
| [09:58] | Hey, Oleg. | 奥列格 |
| [09:59] | Yeah, we’re fine, I was just reading Barbara her horoscope. | 我们没事 我给芭芭拉念她的星座运势呢 |
| [10:03] | Now she’s about to find out who her true friends are. | 她马上要知道谁才是她真正的朋友了 |
| [10:07] | Yeah, oh, and tell the girls that we brought Chestnut in. | 对了 告诉姑娘们我们把栗宝带进屋了 |
| [10:11] | “We”? | “我们” |
| [10:16] | What happened to his shirt? | 他的上衣呢 |
| [10:19] | Chestnut’s? | 栗宝的吗 |
| [10:20] | Well, I took it off. He was warm. | 我脱掉了 他身子很暖啊 |
| [10:23] | No, Sophie, the Manny. | 不 苏菲 是男保姆的上衣 |
| [10:25] | His nipples are staring at me. | 他的奶头正跟我对视呢 |
| [10:27] | Well, what do you think happened to it? | 那你觉得他的上衣怎么了 |
| [10:28] | He spilled his wine… hey, Oleg, I gotta hang up. | 他把红酒洒到…奥列格 我要挂了 |
| [10:32] | We gotta close the windows. It’s a perfect storm out there. | 我们得关窗户了 外面有一场完美风暴 |
| [10:35] | Yeah, I think I am gonna get up there | 好啊 我也要上马 |
| [10:37] | on that horse bareback with you. | 跟你一起 不做任何”防护措施”[无马鞍] |
| [10:42] | “Perfect storm”? | “完美风暴” |
| [10:43] | Oh, no, this is terrible. | 完了 这太糟糕了 |
| [10:46] | There’s wine. There’s a storm. | 红酒 暴风雨 |
| [10:48] | There’s a horse in the mix. | 外加一匹马 |
| [10:49] | The sexual possibilities are dizzying! | 开搞的可能性无极限啊 |
| [10:52] | Wine? | 红酒 |
| [10:53] | Ooh, that reminds me. | 这倒提醒我了 |
| [10:56] | Oh, sorry. We’re out of wine. | 抱歉 我们红酒喝完了 |
| [10:57] | Who wants a Capri Sun and vodka? | 谁想来一杯果汁加伏特加 |
| [11:00] | Scratch that. | 重问一遍 |
| [11:01] | Who doesn’t want a Capri Sun and vodka? | 谁会不想来一杯喝果汁加伏特加 |
| [11:03] | What am I gonna do? | 我该怎么办 |
| [11:06] | I have travel Scattergories in my emergency backpack. | 我的应急背包里有旅行版组词游戏 |
| [11:06] | 用字母骰子扔出首字母 在一定时间内 按照提示写出以给定字母开头的单词 | |
| [11:10] | Perhaps we roll an F for fun? | 扔个F来”feng”狂玩一下? |
| [11:13] | Perhaps we roll you outside for fun? | 扔个阿憨出门来疯狂玩一下如何 |
| [11:16] | Oof, so much for the community coming together during a crisis. | 原来众志成城共度危机也不过如此 |
| [11:20] | Oh, what’s the bathroom policy around here? | 这里的解手政策是什么 |
| [11:22] | Just go anywhere? | 随便哪儿都行吗 |
| [11:27] | Oh, no, no, this is not good. | 完了完了 这下不妙 |
| [11:29] | My diner is more screwed than Sophie right now. | 我的餐厅现在比苏菲还”操”蛋了 |
| [11:35] | Too soon? | 太快开这玩笑吗 |
| [11:38] | Hold me! | 抱紧我 |
| [11:40] | Just so you know, | 先跟你说一声 |
| [11:41] | that is a flashlight in my pocket. | 那根东西 真的是我口袋里的手电筒 |
| [11:52] | Are we gonna talk about what happened? | 我们要谈谈刚才发生的事吗 |
| [11:55] | Max, please tell me they make | 麦克斯 拜托告诉我 |
| [11:57] | really, really small flashlights | 真的有非常非常小的手电筒 |
| [12:00] | that move on their own. | 而且还会自己动的那种 |
| [12:04] | Do you want me to lie to you | 你是想我骗你 |
| [12:06] | or do you want me to tell you that was Han’s penis? | 还是想我告诉你那是阿憨的小鸡鸡 |
| [12:13] | Caroline and Han are really getting at it over there. | 卡洛琳和阿憨在那边真是打得火热啊 |
| [12:17] | This storm is turning people on | 这场暴风雨更让人欲火焚身 |
| [12:19] | more than alcohol and low self-esteem. | 简直完胜酒精和没自尊啊 |
| [12:22] | Even Han got some action. | 就连阿憨都尝到甜头了 |
| [12:24] | I don’t hold hands and tell. | 我不会一跟人牵手就到处说 |
| [12:27] | Or maybe I do. This is kind of a first. | 或许我会 毕竟以前也没有过 |
| [12:32] | I could tell. | 我感觉到了 |
| [12:33] | Your thumb was all over the place. | 你的大拇指到处乱窜 |
| [12:36] | I hope that was your thumb. | 我希望那根是你的大拇指 |
| [12:40] | That’s it. | 够了 |
| [12:41] | I can’t risk Sophie being alone | 我不能冒险让苏菲独自一人 |
| [12:42] | with the Elephant Manny any longer. | 跟那个巨根男保姆待在一起 |
| [12:45] | Even a 2 like him looks like a 5 in this bad weather, | 在这种坏天气下 他这种2分男都能变5分 |
| [12:48] | and Sophie has a thing for 5s. | 而苏菲喜欢5开头的东西 |
| [12:51] | If I die, Max, | 如果我不幸牺牲了 麦克斯 |
| [12:52] | you know what strippers I want at my funeral. | 你知道我的葬礼该请什么样的脱衣舞娘 |
| [12:55] | Yep, same ones I want at mine. | 知道 跟我葬礼的理想型一样 |
| [12:59] | I want Bagpipes at my funeral. | 我的葬礼要请风笛[人名] |
| [13:01] | She’ll be expecting your call. | 她等着你打给她哟 |
| [13:05] | The sexual tension is rising. | 性张力越来越强了哦 |
| [13:08] | This is turning into a real “Will we or won’t we?” | 越来越向”我们会还是不会呢”这问题靠近了 |
| [13:14] | We won’t. | 我们不会 |
| [13:16] | We can’t! | 我们可不能啊 |
| [13:20] | You know what I’ve always wanted to do? | 你知道我一直想做什么吗 |
| [13:21] | Have a “Getting back together” party? | 开一个”复合”派对吗 |
| [13:23] | Same price, less Adele on the playlist. | 价格一样 就音乐少播点阿黛尔的歌 |
| [13:26] | No. | 不 |
| [13:27] | You know. We should… | 你懂的 我们该… |
| [13:29] | Drive through Syria! | 驱车穿越叙利亚 |
| [13:33] | Syria? | 叙利亚 |
| [13:34] | Is that a new Middle Eastern fast-food place? | 是新开的那家中东快餐店吗 |
| [13:38] | Baba ghano-thank-you. | 以色列”茄”万别让我吃酱 |
| [13:43] | Syria sounds beautiful. | 叙利亚感觉很不错 |
| [13:45] | Let us throw your going-away party. | 让我们帮你们办个欢送派对吧 |
| [13:47] | And birthdays coming up? Graduations? | 还是有生日派对 毕业派对 |
| [13:49] | Quinceaneras? Just ’cause? | 15岁成年派对 为派对而办的派对呢 |
| [13:53] | Why almost die in Syria | 为何要差点死在叙利亚 |
| [13:54] | when we could be out there right now | 我们现在明明可以 |
| [13:56] | almost dying in a hurricane? | 冲出去差点死在狂风暴雨里 |
| [13:58] | Oh, there’s the woman my family forced me to marry. | 这才是我家人逼着我娶她的女人啊 |
| [14:03] | Every second we’re in here is second we’re not | 我们在这里的每一秒都是在浪费 |
| [14:05] | risking getting electrocuted by downed power lines. | 我们能被外面倒下的电线电死的机会 |
| [14:08] | We’ll see you guys later. | 各位有缘再见 |
| [14:10] | Wha… we do funerals. | 那个…我们也承接丧礼啊 |
| [14:12] | Wakes, shivas, too. | 还有守灵和七日服丧期[犹太教] |
| [14:13] | Tell your captors. | 跟你们当年的绑匪宣传下 |
| [14:16] | Unbelievable. | 真是难以置信 |
| [14:18] | I’m so bad at relationships, | 我果然不善处于感情 |
| [14:19] | I can’t even make a divorce work. | 甚至连离婚都能搞砸 |
| [14:21] | I’ll give you some pointers. | 我教你几招吧 |
| [14:23] | First rule, have sex with her big-mouthed sister. | 规则一 跟她的大嘴巴姐妹上床 |
| [14:29] | I’m gonna see if Randy posted anything on Snapchat | 我要看看兰迪有没有在他的快拍上 |
| [14:31] | about his travels. | 透露有关他的行程 |
| [14:33] | I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. | 我知道你在想什么 你绝对是错的 |
| [14:35] | He is not in LA, enjoying the sunshine. | 他肯定不在洛杉矶享受日光浴 |
| [14:39] | Hey, I’m here in sunny LA, | 我在阳光灿烂的洛杉矶 |
| [14:41] | just about to take my dog for a walk. | 准备带我的狗狗去散步 |
| [14:43] | You know, people are saying we’re starting to look alike. | 人们都在说我们俩越长越像了 |
| [14:46] | Thoughts? | 你们怎么看 |
| [14:51] | Because to tell you the truth, I don’t really see it. | 因为说实话 我不这么觉得 |
| [14:54] | Although I have been peeing on fire hydrants more than usual. | 虽然我比之前更常在消防栓上尿尿 |
| [15:01] | You know what? | 算了 |
| [15:02] | I am calling him. | 我打给他好了 |
| [15:04] | He wants me to. | 他希望我打给他 |
| [15:05] | You saw the look on his snout. | 你也看见他狗鼻子上的表情啦 |
| [15:07] | You’re acting more mixed-up than me. | 你的行为比我还错乱 |
| [15:09] | And yesterday I ordered a cheeseburger from an ATM. | 昨天我在一台自动提款机上点了个汉堡呢 |
| [15:14] | And I gotta say, it wasn’t bad. | 不得不说 味道还不赖 |
| [15:18] | He’s not answering, and it’s going straight to voicemail. | 他不接 直接转去语音信箱了 |
| [15:21] | Maybe Snapchat got it wrong | 或许快拍搞错了 |
| [15:23] | and he’s on a plane. | 他已经在飞机上了 |
| [15:24] | He probably blocked you. | 他很可能屏蔽你电话了 |
| [15:27] | Right, baby? | 对吧 宝贝儿 |
| [15:31] | Give me your phone. | 把你电话给我 |
| [15:34] | Hello? | 你好 |
| [15:35] | It went through and he answered. | 打通了 他接了 |
| [15:38] | ‘Cause it wasn’t my phone. He did block me. | 因为那不是我的电话号 他果然屏蔽我了 |
| [15:41] | Max, I’m sorry. | 麦克斯 很遗憾 |
| [15:43] | We’re really broken up. | 我们真的彻底分手了 |
| [15:45] | Don’t feel too bad. | 别太难过 |
| [15:47] | From what I saw, he had kind of a dog face. | 就我刚才看 他长了一张白痴狗脸 |
| [15:53] | My hips think that the storm is over, y’all. | 我的臀部感知到暴风雨已经结束了 各位 |
| [15:56] | Why don’t you go check for flooding, old man? | 你干嘛不去看看有没有洪水 老头 |
| [15:59] | Just like you did for Noah. | 就像你当年帮诺亚那样 |
| [15:59] | 据《圣经》记载 诺亚在曾在大洪水结束后 派出鸽子去探查洪水到底退了没 | |
| [16:02] | Sorry, that’s the cockiness of my new relationship talking. | 抱歉 是我新恋情的让我自信膨胀了 |
| [16:06] | We should all go. | 我们都该走了 |
| [16:08] | None of us have anything left to live for anymore anyway. | 反正我们谁都没有任何活下去的理由 |
| [16:11] | Uh, excuse me, I have plenty… | 不好意思 我可是有大把… |
| [16:13] | okay, you’re right, let’s go. | 好吧 你说得对 走吧 |
| [16:24] | Yes! Yes, it’s okay. | 太棒了 餐厅没事 |
| [16:27] | I guess the hurricane looked us up on Yelp | 我猜台风在点评网上查过咱们 |
| [16:29] | and stayed the hell away. | 然后觉得应该避而远之 |
| [16:32] | It survived the storm! | 在暴风雨中毫发无损 |
| [16:34] | My diner’s alive. | 我的餐厅还活着 |
| [16:36] | Yeah, parts of it have chased me around the kitchen. | 是啊 它的某些”鼠”性刚还在厨房追我呢 |
| [16:39] | I love how you’re funny. | 我超爱你的搞笑 |
| [16:42] | The storm is gone. My body got it right. | 暴风雨走了 我身体的感知是对的 |
| [16:46] | Now, if it could only pump blood on its own. | 现在如果它能自己供血就好了 |
| [16:51] | Great. Oleg survived too. | 不错嘛 奥列格也没死 |
| [16:53] | This hurricane sucked. | 这场台风逊爆了 |
| [16:56] | I made it home, | 我回了家 |
| [16:57] | but Sophie and the Manny were gone. | 可苏菲和男保姆都走了 |
| [17:00] | And I could tell by the look in Chestnut’s eyes | 我可以从栗宝的眼神 |
| [17:02] | and the wine on his mane | 和他的鬃毛上的红酒看出 |
| [17:04] | that they’re not coming back. | 他们不会回来了 |
| [17:09] | Oh… Oleg, you’re here! | 奥列格 你在这里啊 |
| [17:15] | Sophie, | 苏菲 |
| [17:17] | you’re here. | 你来了 |
| [17:18] | Oh, I was so worried. What happened? | 我好担心你 发生什么事了 |
| [17:21] | To my churro? | 我的西班牙油条吗 |
| [17:23] | Well, yeah, it got wet. | 是啊 都弄湿了 |
| [17:26] | Oh, Oleg, | 奥列格 |
| [17:27] | I didn’t want to be in the hurricane without you. | 我不想刮台风的时候没有你在身边 |
| [17:30] | And I didn’t want anyone to be in you | 我也不想别人上你的时候 |
| [17:33] | without me. | 没有我在身边 |
| [17:35] | Don’t be silly. We’re family now. | 别傻了 我们现在是一家人 |
| [17:38] | Plus, the storm got me all horned up. | 再说了 暴风雨让我欲火焚身 |
| [17:42] | Confession: | 我承认 |
| [17:43] | I’m not just wet from the storm. | 让我湿身的不只是暴风雨 |
| [17:46] | Oh, my God, | 老天 |
| [17:47] | does this guy always know what to say or what? | 这家伙是不是特会见缝插棒啊 |
| [17:53] | Oh, Oleg, let’s go home. | 奥列格 我们回家吧 |
| [17:55] | I love happy endings. | 我爱幸福结局 |
| [17:57] | Oh, well, if Barbara’s sleeping, | 如果芭芭拉睡着了 |
| [18:00] | I might be able to give you one on the way home. | 没准在回家的路上我就能让你”性福”一把哦 |
| [18:07] | Caroline, | 卡洛琳 |
| [18:08] | we need to talk about what happened in there. | 我们得谈谈刚在里面发生的事 |
| [18:11] | Okay, but do I have to be here? | 好的 但我非得在场吗 |
| [18:13] | Look, I’ve been thinking that sometimes | 听着 我一直在想有时候 |
| [18:16] | crazy weather makes you do crazy things. | 极端天气会让你做一些疯狂的事 |
| [18:19] | Yeah, I just listened to Sophie and Oleg talk | 对 我刚听苏菲和奥列格瞎扯了 |
| [18:21] | for like an hour. | 大概一个小时吧 |
| [18:23] | I… I guess what I’m trying to say is | 我…我想说的是 |
| [18:26] | we’re dones-ville. | 我们结束了 |
| [18:28] | Han. | 阿憨 |
| [18:33] | No, no. | 不不不 |
| [18:35] | Don’t beg. | 别开口求我 |
| [18:36] | This is hard enough as it is. | 跟你分开已经够难了 |
| [18:38] | But… | 但是… |
| [18:39] | keep that chin up. | 打起精神来 |
| [18:43] | You’ll find someone. | 你会找到对的人 |
| [18:45] | I recommend the Internet. | 我建议你上网找 |
| [18:47] | Thanks, Han. | 多谢 阿憨 |
| [18:48] | It was fun while it never started. | 其实还挺有意思 虽然压根就没开始过 |
| [18:53] | Max, I hate seeing you like this. | 麦克斯 我不喜欢看到你这样 |
| [18:56] | You know what? Maybe Randy only blocked you because… | 或许兰迪屏蔽你的唯一原因是… |
| [18:59] | Because he didn’t want to ruin the surprise of him | 因为他不想毁掉给我的惊喜 |
| [19:01] | coming here to see me? | 他要来这里见我了 |
| [19:04] | All right. Yep. Sure. | 好吧 当然是啊 |
| [19:07] | I’m gonna check his Snapchat again. | 我再去看看他的快拍 |
| [19:08] | Not now, Max. Let’s go hug our dessert bar. | 等会吧 麦克斯 先去抱抱我们的甜品吧 |
| [19:10] | It was probably so scared. | 它一定吓坏了 |
| [19:14] | Hey! I’m running ’cause I’m late. | 我在跑因为我迟到了 |
| [19:16] | Gotta get to New York… | 我得去纽约… |
| [19:19] | Great, his story cut off. | 这下好 他没讲完就断了 |
| [19:20] | But you were right! | 但你说对了 |
| [19:21] | I was? | 深表怀疑 |
| [19:23] | Ooh, it unfroze. | 画面动了 |
| [19:25] | Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl. | 交响乐团在好莱坞露天剧场的演出 |
| [19:31] | Well, that’s it. | 就这样吧 |
| [19:32] | He’s not coming to New York. | 他不会来纽约了 |
| [19:34] | I have to face reality. | 我得面对现实 |
| [19:36] | He’s bowling in LA with his buddy Phil. | 他约了好朋友菲尔在洛杉矶打保龄球 |
| [19:44] | Oh, my God! | 我的上帝 |
| [19:46] | Cray, right? | 很扯 对吧 |
| [19:47] | I didn’t even know Randy liked bowling. | 我都不知道兰迪喜欢打保龄球 |
| [19:50] | No, Max, look! | 不 麦克斯 你看 |
| [19:54] | Is that tree new or has it always been there? | 那树是新种的吗 还是一直在那里的 |
| [19:57] | I know the condom stuck to it hasn’t. | 我知道树上的保险套肯定不是 |
| [20:01] | The diner is fine, but our beautiful dessert bar | 那个破餐厅居然没事 而我们美丽的甜品酒吧 |
| [20:05] | gets hit by the hurricane? | 却被台风袭击了 |
| [20:07] | But… | 可是… |
| [20:08] | your hair looks good right now. | 你的头发现在看起来挺好啦 |
| [20:11] | Just “Good”? | 才”挺好”吗 |
| [20:14] | I’m calling Han. | 我要打给阿憨 |
| [20:15] | I weirdly feel like I need him now. | 我现在竟然觉得我需要他 |
| [20:19] | It’s going straight to voicemail. | 直接转去语音信箱了 |
| [20:22] | Han! I was just trying to call you. | 阿憨 我刚打给你呢 |
| [20:24] | Yeah, I blocked you. | 没错 我屏蔽你了 |
| [20:28] | I just can’t go there right now. | 我现在真的不想再谈那事 |
| [20:33] | Caroline, don’t cry. | 卡洛琳 别哭 |
| [20:35] | We have insurance. Right? | 我们有保险的不是吗 |
| [20:37] | I don’t listen to 100% of what you say. | 你说的话我百分百都没听啦 |
| [20:40] | We’ll be fine. | 我们会没事的 |
| [20:42] | I just think blocking a person is mean. | 我只是觉得屏蔽别人这事太伤人了 |