| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | What the hell are we doing here on a Tuesday afternoon? | 我们好好的周二下午在这里干嘛 |
| [00:06] | The only customer we had was Earl | 我们唯一的顾客是厄尔 |
| [00:08] | and he forgot he works here and ordered lunch. | 他忘了自己在这里工作 还跟我们点了午餐 |
| [00:10] | First of all, you are forgetting the pack of dogs | 首先 你忘了那群溜了进来 |
| [00:13] | that wandered in, had an orgy, and left. | 在我们店里大杂交一番就跑掉的野狗 |
| [00:16] | Probably easy for me to forget ’cause | 我这么容易就忘掉这件事 |
| [00:17] | I wasn’t the one they tried to have sex with. | 大概是因为它们想搞的对象不是我 |
| [00:21] | And we still have to work here because our dessert bar’s | 其次 我们还在这里工作的原因是因为 |
| [00:23] | only been open a week; we need income. | 甜品酒吧才开一周 我们需要这笔收入 |
| [00:25] | I don’t like working in the daytime. | 我不喜欢白天上班 |
| [00:28] | You can see freaky things in this light. | 明亮的光线会让你看见一堆奇怪事物 |
| [00:31] | Look, there’s an ant carrying a stool. | 你看有只蚂蚁在搬凳子[屎] |
| [00:34] | Look, there’s a waitress carrying nothing. | 看啊 有个屁都不搬的服务员 |
| [00:37] | Wow, Han, you have new-stool money? | 阿憨 你居然有钱买新凳子 |
| [00:40] | Are you in Forbes’ “40 Under 4 Feet?” | 你上了福布斯”40以下4尺男”排行吗 |
| [00:44] | I didn’t buy this. Lady Luck threw me a bone. | 不是我买的 是幸运女神的赏赐 |
| [00:47] | I’m sure she hated herself in the morning. | 我敢肯定她早上醒来一定恨死自己 |
| [00:50] | A beloved old man in my building passed away, | 我们楼里一名受人敬爱的长者去世了 |
| [00:53] | and after the neighbors paid our solemn respects, | 在街坊邻居们都献上哀悼之意后 |
| [00:55] | we cleaned the dump out. | 我们搬空了他家 |
| [00:57] | Han, that is so disrespectful. | 阿憨 这也太大不敬了吧 |
| [01:00] | We didn’t get a text? | 我们怎么没收到短信通知 |
| [01:02] | Ooh, I forgot my sweet hemorrhoid doughnut I scored. | 差点忘了我抢到的甜甜圈形痔疮坐垫 |
| [01:05] | You don’t need hemorrhoids to enjoy it. | 无论有没有痔疮都能享用 |
| [01:08] | Hemorrhoid doughnut. | 甜甜圈形痔疮坐垫 |
| [01:10] | All of the comfort and none of the calories. | 不含卡路里 舒适到心底 |
| [01:13] | Ooh! A new stool. | 新凳子啊 |
| [01:16] | 2005 is shaping up to be a great year. | 2005年感觉是丰收的一年啊 |
| [01:20] | That’s Han’s stool. | 那是阿憨的凳子 |
| [01:22] | Well, Han’s stool just bought | 阿憨的凳子刚买了一张 |
| [01:23] | a one-way ticket to Earl’s butt. | 直达厄尔屁股的有去无回票 |
| [01:27] | This the saddest episode of Game of Thrones | 这真是我看过最凄凉的一集 |
| [01:29] | I’ve ever seen. | “权凳的游戏” |
| [01:31] | Still, I’m rooting for the dwarf. | 不过我还是支持矮人 |
| [01:45] | Tonight, we are hitting the chic-est spot in Williamsburg | 今晚我们要出征威廉斯堡最潮之处 |
| [01:48] | to poach their chic-est patrons. | 去抢他们最潮的客人 |
| [01:50] | If we start out with a cool clientele, | 如果基础客户能建立在 |
| [01:53] | models, gays, | 模特 男同性恋 |
| [01:54] | rich guys that want to have sex with models and gays, | 还有想搞模特跟男同的有钱人上 |
| [01:58] | we’ll be an in-spot for at least five years. | 起码未来五年我们都会是炙手可热的潮店 |
| [02:02] | Were you talking to me that whole time? | 你刚才是在跟我说话啊 |
| [02:04] | Who else would I be talking to? | 不然我还能是在跟谁说 |
| [02:05] | You’re the only one here. | 这里只有你一个人 |
| [02:07] | That was a Randy giggle. | 你那个是兰迪花痴笑 |
| [02:09] | And that’s Randy’s penis. | 而这个是兰迪的大雕 |
| [02:12] | Not all of it. It’s a pretty small screen. | 不是全部 这屏幕挺小的 |
| [02:15] | Yeah, we decided to continue our nonexclusive, | 我们决定继续我们的开放恋爱式的 |
| [02:17] | long-distance, sexting thing. | 远距离性爱短信 |
| [02:20] | Is that the Oxford English Dictionary definition? | 这个是牛津英语词典上的解释吗 |
| [02:23] | If Oxford likes to get naked and squat over a phone. | 如果牛津也喜欢光身在手机上做深蹲那就是 |
| [02:27] | But your girl’s running out of sexting ideas. | 但你的姐妹就要想不出性爱短信内容啦 |
| [02:29] | There’s only four emojis that look like penises. | 只有四个表情符号看起来像阴茎 |
| [02:32] | Five if you count the corn on the cob. | 算上连皮玉米那个符号 那就五个 |
| [02:34] | Don’t ruin the corn on the cob for me. | 拜托别毁连皮玉米符号在我心中形象 |
| [02:36] | I use that for barbecues and farmers markets. | 我用它来表示烧烤会跟农贸市场 |
| [02:39] | That’s what you were talking about? | 原来你之前说的是这意思啊 |
| [02:42] | I’ve just been adding “in my pants” to everything. | 我现在就把所有话都加上”我裤裆里的” |
| [02:45] | Example: | 比如说 |
| [02:47] | “What do you think about climate change | “你觉得我裤裆里的 |
| [02:50] | in my pants?” | 气候变化怎么样” |
| [02:52] | Come on, I need you focused tonight. | 拜托你 我需要你今晚集中注意力 |
| [02:54] | No more sexting. | 别发性爱短信了 |
| [02:55] | Just put it away and tell him to do the same. | 把手机扔一边去 让他也这样 |
| [02:58] | All right, let me just find the eggplant emoji | 好了 让我找找茄子的表情符号 |
| [03:00] | and, of course, the pants. | 还有裤子的符号 |
| [03:08] | Hey, girls. | 姑娘们 |
| [03:12] | Oh, do you need a hand there, Soph… | 苏菲 你需要帮忙吗… |
| [03:13] | I can do it! | 我能行 |
| [03:16] | Sophie, why the enormous old-timey stroller? | 苏菲 为什么要推超大台老式婴儿车 |
| [03:20] | There better be a cartoon baby | 这豪气座驾里最好有个 |
| [03:21] | dressed like Al Capone in that thing. | 穿得像传奇黑帮大哥的卡通婴儿 |
| [03:23] | Hey, girls, | 两位 |
| [03:25] | can Barbara and me stay down here tonight? | 我今晚能跟芭芭拉在你家暂住一晚吗 |
| [03:29] | Oleg and I can’t have sex for two more weeks | 我跟奥列格还得再等两周才能做爱 |
| [03:31] | and it’s just getting too steamy up there. | 楼上干柴烈火一点就要着了 |
| [03:34] | So, that explains the heavy panting | 难怪我们能从四面八方 |
| [03:36] | we’re hearing through our ceiling, our walls, and | 屋顶 墙壁 还有最恶心人的 |
| [03:39] | most disturbing of all, our drain. | 排水口听到喘息声 |
| [03:42] | I gotta pee. | 我想去嘘嘘 |
| [03:45] | I gotta go all the time now. | 我现在无时无刻想嘘嘘 |
| [03:47] | You know, that’s something that you girls need to know about me. | 有件事我得告诉你们俩 |
| [03:51] | Any time that we talk, | 每次我们说话 |
| [03:53] | I’m peeing a little bit. | 我都在漏尿 |
| [03:57] | Uh… yeah. | 哎 爽 |
| [04:04] | There’s daddy’s little jock block. | 看看爸爸的小拦”鸡”虎 |
| [04:08] | I tried to release my sexual frustration creatively, | 我尝试用创意的方式舒缓我房事不如意 |
| [04:11] | but my erotic poetry | 但我投稿的情色诗歌 |
| [04:12] | was rejected by National Pornographic | 被《国家”弟立”》杂志拒绝了 |
| [04:15] | for being, quote, “Just disgusting.” | 理由是”太下流恶心” |
| [04:19] | My sexts are so lame. | 我的性爱短信就苍白无力 |
| [04:21] | Why can’t I be disgusting? | 为什么我就做不到下流恶心 |
| [04:23] | There’s a burrito stuck to the side of your dresser. | 你的梳妆台侧边还卡着一个墨西哥卷饼 |
| [04:25] | You’re there. | 你绝对够恶心 |
| [04:30] | “Can’t wait for you to put your butt | “等不及在我裤裆里把 |
| [04:31] | on top of… my butt | 你的屁股放到 |
| [04:34] | in my pants”? | 我的屁股上” |
| [04:36] | Jeez, thanks for the nice break from being horny. | 我去 谢谢你让我的淫虫全尴尬至死 |
| [04:39] | I am not proud of how not slutty it is. | 性爱短信不够污 我也很苦恼啊 |
| [04:42] | Now, give me back my phone. It hasn’t had its shots. | 快把我的手机还我 它还没打过性病疫苗 |
| [04:44] | – Sent. – What? | -已发送 -什么 |
| [04:47] | “Your testicles are two glistening Cadbury Eggs, | “你的蛋蛋就像两颗闪耀的巧克力蛋 |
| [04:51] | and Mama’s got a sweet tooth.” | 而老娘最爱吃甜食了” |
| [04:55] | This mama’s got puke in her mouth. | 而老娘现在超级想吐 |
| [04:57] | I cannot believe you’d send something so disgusting. | 我真不敢相信你会发这么恶心的东西 |
| [05:00] | You are dead to m… | 我恨死… |
| [05:01] | He likes it! | 他喜欢 |
| [05:03] | You want to turn a man on? | 想把男人撩得欲火焚身吗 |
| [05:05] | Heh, you call Oleg. | 请致电奥列格 |
| [05:18] | I hope it doesn’t make you too jealous, but | 希望不会让你太吃醋 不过… |
| [05:20] | I was just sexting with Randy. | 我刚才跟兰迪发了性爱短信呢 |
| [05:24] | Yeah? | 是吗 |
| [05:32] | Caroline, get the hose. | 卡洛琳 去拿水管 |
| [05:38] | Okay, now remember, we’re targeting models, gays, | 记住 我们目标是模特 男同性恋 |
| [05:40] | and upwardly mobile millennials with discretionary income. | 还有钱多没处花的富二代 |
| [05:43] | Basically anyone better than us. | 基本上比我们强的任何人都行 |
| [05:46] | Were you talking to me that whole time? | 你刚才又都是在跟我说话了吗 |
| [05:46] | And yes, I was talking to you that whole time. | 是的 我刚才都是在跟你说话 |
| [05:48] | IDs, please? | 请出示证件 |
| [05:52] | You know they don’t force you to use | 你知道他们不会逼你一定要用 |
| [05:53] | the first picture they take. | 拍出来的第一张照吧 |
| [05:55] | I’m eating a pickle in mine. | 我的证件照里我在吃腌瓜 |
| [05:59] | I think you look great. | 我觉得你看起来很好啊 |
| [06:01] | Hi, I’m Jake. | 你好 我叫杰克 |
| [06:03] | Hi, Jake. | 你好啊 杰克 |
| [06:05] | ID, Jake? | 杰克 证件 |
| [06:06] | He’s about 27, | 他大概27岁 |
| [06:07] | lots of discresh income? | 能自由花用的收入挺多 |
| [06:09] | 27 exactly. | 正是27岁 |
| [06:11] | Guess my weight and I’ll buy you a drink. | 猜对我的体重 我就请你喝酒 |
| [06:14] | So, um, how do you maintain such a dork-less clientele? | 你们是如何保持没有白痴客人的环境 |
| [06:18] | I need to know ’cause I have a roommate situation. | 我有个智障室友方面的问题 |
| [06:21] | Watch and learn, pickles. | 看着学吧 腌瓜妹 |
| [06:24] | Oh, sweet, | 赞啊 |
| [06:25] | I found Carmen Sandiego. | 卡通《神偷卡门》的卡门来了 |
| [06:28] | I don’t know where in the world you’re going, buddy, | 我不知道你这次想闯进哪里 |
| [06:29] | but it ain’t in here. | 但这里你是别想了 |
| [06:35] | Oh, you got this. | 这里有你搞定 |
| [06:37] | But do not let the guy in the overalls | 但千万别让那个背带裤男走掉 |
| [06:38] | get out of here without me calling him “Farmer Yawn.” | 得等我叫完他”哈欠小农”才能放他走 |
| [06:42] | Max, I am killing it. | 麦克斯 我简直是如鱼得水啊 |
| [06:44] | Jake, you’ve met. | 你刚才见过杰克了 |
| [06:46] | Nahani and Ariel are models. | 娜哈尼跟艾瑞儿都是模特 |
| [06:47] | They can eat whatever they want. | 她们吃啥都不会胖 |
| [06:49] | Hate them. | 羡慕嫉妒恨啊 |
| [06:50] | And then, this is Tad and Jameson, they’re gay. | 而这两位是泰德与詹姆森 是同性恋 |
| [06:53] | I perform reenactments | 我透过芭比娃娃 |
| [06:54] | of the life and tragic death of Amy Winehouse with Barbies. | 来演绎女歌手艾米·怀恩豪斯她悲剧的一生 |
| [06:59] | I work at Staples. | 我在文具店工作 |
| [07:01] | Oh, power couple. | 权力夫夫啊 |
| [07:07] | None of New York’s elite are here, besides me. | 纽约的精英界人士 除了我 都不在此 |
| [07:11] | I guess I’m not going backstage at Barbie Winehouse. | 看来我是不够格去芭比·怀恩豪斯秀的后台了 |
| [07:14] | You tried to make them come to this bar | 你试着邀请他们来酒吧 |
| [07:16] | and they said, “No, no, no.” | 而他们说”不要 不要 不要” |
| [07:20] | My gay guys at 12:00. | 我的基佬们在12点钟方向 |
| [07:22] | I spoke too soon. | 我话说太早了 |
| [07:23] | And you spat a little. | 你还喷了点口水 |
| [07:25] | Tad! Jameson! | 泰德 詹姆森 |
| [07:26] | Welcome to the M and C Dessert Bar. | 欢迎来到麦与卡的甜品酒吧 |
| [07:28] | No, you’re not dreaming! | 不 你不是在做梦 |
| [07:31] | If they were, we’d be shirtless dudes. | 他们如果是在做梦 我俩会是上空裸男 |
| [07:34] | This place is fabulous. | 这里赞赞哒 |
| [07:35] | Can I have one of these cookie dough-tinis? | 我能点一杯这个饼干面团丁尼吗 |
| [07:38] | It’s my cheat night, | 今晚是我的出轨夜 |
| [07:39] | that’s why I’m with him. | 所以我才跟他来 |
| [07:47] | Hmm, not sure who these gals are. | 我不知道这些女壮士哪来的 |
| [07:49] | Max, did you talk about this place at Pep Boys? | 麦克斯 你在修车厂提起过我们店吗 |
| [07:52] | I told Manny and Moe, | 我跟曼尼还有摩尔说了 |
| [07:53] | but I didn’t say a word to Jack. | 但我绝对没跟杰克提 |
| [07:57] | Oh, Tad. Let me get you another one. | 泰德 让我再给你续一杯 |
| [07:59] | It’s fine, it’s fine. | 没事 没事 |
| [08:00] | – It is? – No. | -真的没事吗 -有事 |
| [08:01] | That’s gay for “We’re leaving.” | “没事没事”就是基佬语的”我们要走了” |
| [08:07] | They chased off my hot gay guys. | 她们把我的帅男同们吓跑了 |
| [08:09] | I don’t want to be rude here, | 我不想无礼 |
| [08:10] | but who invited these horrible women? | 但是谁邀请这些女汉子的 |
| [08:13] | Charlene’s in the house! | 夏琳驾到 |
| [08:17] | And there it is. Damn it, Max. | 凶手来了 我去 麦克斯 |
| [08:19] | Why did you invite your bouncer buddy | 你为什么要邀请你的门卫朋友来啊 |
| [08:21] | when you know I’m trying to cultivate a vibe? | 你明知道我想营造个高档客群环境 |
| [08:23] | I didn’t invite her. | 我没邀请她啊 |
| [08:24] | And I did not think she’d be wearing gym shorts | 我也不知道她会穿运动短裤 |
| [08:26] | and a SUNY Albany sweatshirt. | 跟纽约州立大学奥尔巴尼分校的卫衣啊 |
| [08:29] | Hey, I know you guys were trying to get the cool crowd in here, | 我知道你们想要邀请很屌的客人来 |
| [08:31] | so, you know, | 所以 不用谢啦 |
| [08:32] | boom! | 屌炸 |
| [08:34] | And where are they? The cool people? | 所以你说的很屌的客人们都在哪 |
| [08:36] | All right. Take it easy. | 好啦 放轻松 |
| [08:37] | Maybe they are cool. | 说不定人家都很屌呢 |
| [08:39] | Is that one eating a PB and J? | 那个人在吃花生果酱三明治吗 |
| [08:43] | All right! | 好啦 |
| [08:44] | Who wants to take on Big Reba? | 谁想来跟大瑞芭比比 |
| [08:47] | Take on how? | 怎么比比 |
| [08:48] | Max, you speak Goon. | 麦克斯 你会流氓语 |
| [08:50] | How? How… how? | 怎么 怎么比啊 |
| [08:52] | Not fluently. | 我流氓语水平不佳啊 |
| [08:53] | I only lived in Goon for a semester. | 我只在流氓市住过一学期 |
| [08:56] | You’re on. | 那来挑呗 |
| [08:57] | On how? | 怎么挑啊 |
| [08:58] | How… how? | 怎么 是要怎么挑 |
| [09:02] | Oh good, they brought rope. | 太好了 她们还带了绳子 |
| [09:04] | I hope they brought some for me too. | 希望她们有多带一点让我上吊 |
| [09:07] | And they did not bring deodorant. | 可她们没带腋下除臭剂 |
| [09:10] | Ladies, what is this | 女士们 这是闹哪样 |
| [09:11] | and how can we make it stop? | 怎么样才能让你们停下呢 |
| [09:14] | You got a front row seat to New York City’s elite | 你们得到机会前排近距离观赏 |
| [09:16] | underground ladies’ arm wrestling. | 纽约精英级地下女子掰腕子大赛 |
| [09:18] | One, two, three, | 一 二 三 |
| [09:22] | wrestle! | 开掰 |
| [09:30] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [09:31] | I own an arm wrestling bar. | 我拥有一间掰腕子酒吧 |
| [09:34] | No, you don’t. | 你才没有 |
| [09:35] | We own an arm wrestling bar! | 是我们拥有一家掰腕子俱乐部 |
| [09:42] | I hope you’re texting Charlene | 希望你是在发短信给夏琳 |
| [09:44] | and the rest of her WWE Raw crowd | 跟她的”职业手腕摔跤”同伴们 |
| [09:46] | to never come back to our bar. | 别再回来我们店 |
| [09:49] | Uh, you were sobbing and begging them to stop. | 你一边哭哭啼啼一边跪求她们停下 |
| [09:51] | I think she got the message. | 我想她应该知道你意思了 |
| [09:53] | I don’t know if she was listening. | 我不知道她有没有听进去啊 |
| [09:55] | She was carrying Big Reba around on her shoulders. | 她当时忙着把大瑞芭扛在肩膀上绕场 |
| [09:58] | This is pitiful. | 这也太凄凉了吧 |
| [09:59] | I just sexted Randy a picture of a penguin. | 我刚拿企鹅照片当性爱短信发给了兰迪 |
| [10:02] | I don’t even think penguins are that sexy! | 我压根都不觉得企鹅性感 |
| [10:05] | Oh, my God. Everything is turning me on. | 老天 我现在看见啥都想上 |
| [10:08] | I just walked in on an elderly lady in the bathroom | 我刚看见洗手间里有一位老太太 |
| [10:11] | and almost lost my mind. | 我差点没控制住 |
| [10:13] | What were you doing in the ladies’ room? | 你去女厕所干嘛 |
| [10:15] | All right, fine, it was a man. | 好啦 其实那是个老头 |
| [10:18] | Yeah, we all have problems. | 得了 每个人都有自己的烦恼 |
| [10:20] | I have sexter’s block. | 我有性爱短信创作瓶颈 |
| [10:23] | Want me to take a stab at it? | 要我帮你试[湿]一下吗 |
| [10:24] | See, that’s already better than anything I have. | 瞧 随便一句都能秒杀我 |
| [10:27] | Just write it down. | 写下来就行 |
| [10:28] | I don’t want your fingerprints on my phone. | 我可不想我的手机沾上你的指纹 |
| [10:30] | You think I still have fingerprints? | 你觉得我还没弄掉手指指纹吗 |
| [10:34] | Oh, my God. | 天啊 |
| [10:35] | Are you really gonna have sext with Oleg? | 你真的要跟奥列格做爱了吗 |
| [10:37] | I don’t know why you think I’m above this. | 我不知道你为什么觉得我不会 |
| [10:40] | Out of the way. Earl’s looking for me. | 让开 厄尔在到处找我 |
| [10:42] | And as soon as he realizes he’s outside, | 一旦他反应过来自己在外面 |
| [10:44] | I’m in big trouble. | 我就有大麻烦了 |
| [10:46] | Can you unfollow a person in real life? | 人能取关现实生活中的人吗 |
| [10:49] | Where would he least expect me to hide this? | 我该把这凳子藏哪里 他会完全猜不到呢 |
| [10:51] | Up high? | 高处吗 |
| [10:53] | “Shorty wouldn’t go high,” Earl would say. | “小短腿爬不高” 厄尔肯定会这么说 |
| [10:56] | Oh, won’t I, Earl? | 那可不一定哦 厄尔 |
| [10:59] | Han, you’re talking to yourself. | 阿憨 你在自言自语 |
| [11:01] | And why don’t you just buy another stool? | 你干嘛不直接再买一把就好啦 |
| [11:03] | Earl wants this one. | 厄尔要的是这把 |
| [11:05] | And for once in his life, he’s not gonna get what he wants! | 这一次 他绝不能如愿以偿 |
| [11:08] | I’ll just keep it under here till he forgets about it. | 我把凳子藏下面 等他忘了这事就好了 |
| [11:11] | Which should be in about an hour. | 大概一个小时后就能忘得差不多 |
| [11:13] | Yesterday I caught him putting pennies on his sandwich. | 昨天我看见他往自己三明治上放硬币 |
| [11:17] | Hide and seek, old timer. | 来玩我藏你找啊 老家伙 |
| [11:21] | I don’t know how it’s possible, | 我不知道他怎么有办法 |
| [11:22] | but he’s getting weirder. | 不断超越怪的极限 |
| [11:24] | Those wrestlers won’t be back tonight, right, Max? | 那些掰腕子的人今晚不会来了吧 麦克斯 |
| [11:27] | Right, God? Are you there, God? | 对不对 上帝 您在吗 上帝 |
| [11:29] | It’s me, Caroline, the one you forgot about? | 我是卡洛琳 一名被您遗忘的女子 |
| [11:34] | Where’d that turd hide my stool? | 那个龟孙把老子的凳子藏哪儿了 |
| [11:41] | Thanks, y’all. | 谢谢各位 |
| [11:42] | I knew Shorty wouldn’t go high. | 我就知道小短腿爬不高 |
| [11:47] | Oleg, how you doing over there? | 奥列格 写得怎么样了 |
| [11:49] | You’re gonna need a bigger data plan. | 你需要一份更大流量的手机套餐 |
| [11:56] | Max, it’s been two nights in a row. | 麦克斯 已经连续两晚了 |
| [11:58] | If we don’t nip this in the bud, | 如果我们不防微杜渐 |
| [12:00] | we’re both gonna be lady arm wrestlers’ girlfriends. | 就会沦落为掰腕子大力女的小女友了 |
| [12:03] | You’re not exactly thriving | 就算你不是 |
| [12:05] | not being a lady arm wrestler’s girlfriend. | 掰腕子大力女的小女友 情况也没多好啊 |
| [12:07] | And I don’t see what the problem is. | 我不懂这有什么问题 |
| [12:09] | They’re paying customers. | 她们都是来消费的顾客 |
| [12:11] | They’re drinking beer. | 她们有在喝啤酒啊 |
| [12:14] | From a helmet they brought with them. | 啤酒头盔里的酒是她们自带的 |
| [12:19] | Oh, no, no, no, no. | 不不不 |
| [12:19] | Don’t go, don’t go. Please, please, sir. | 别走啊 请留步 先生 |
| [12:23] | Well, the last of our vibe is leaving. | 我们酒吧仅存的安慰走了 |
| [12:26] | Pretty sure all these ladies have vibes. | 我敢说那些女人都有自慰棒 |
| [12:30] | Guessing vintage plug-ins. | 我猜是老式得插电的那种 |
| [12:32] | That’s it. | 真是够了 |
| [12:33] | Everybody! | 各位 |
| [12:34] | Everybody! | 各位 |
| [12:36] | You cannot have your arm wrestling meetings here anymore. | 你们不能再来这里玩掰腕子游戏了 |
| [12:39] | Find a dock or a junkyard | 找个码头 废车场 |
| [12:41] | or a Buffalo Wild Wings. | 或找间体育酒吧 |
| [12:44] | Who wants to drink where they work? | 谁想在上班的地方喝酒啊 |
| [12:46] | – Yeah. – Yeah. | -就是 -没错 |
| [12:49] | This is discrimination. | 你这是赤裸裸的歧视 |
| [12:51] | – Yeah! – Yeah. | -就是 -没错 |
| [12:52] | Look, miss, I am extremely pro-lesbian. | 女士 我可以超级支持女同性恋的哟 |
| [12:57] | Please be lesbians. | 请告诉我你们是拉拉 |
| [13:00] | We’re not lesbians. | 我们不是拉拉 |
| [13:02] | Ooh, swing and a miss. | 哎哟哟 挥棒落空 |
| [13:05] | Actually, I am. | 其实我是 |
| [13:07] | That’s the first time I’ve said that out loud, isn’t it? | 这是我第一次大声说出来 对吧 |
| [13:10] | Wow, that’s freeing. | 如释重负 |
| [13:12] | I am just anti-arm wrestling in my dessert bar. | 我只是反对在我的甜品酒吧掰腕子 |
| [13:16] | Well, tough ta-tas. | 好硬气的小咪咪 |
| [13:18] | Which happens to be my other nickname. | 我另一个绰号正好叫硬咪咪 |
| [13:20] | Go ahead, take a shot. | 来啊 试一下 |
| [13:23] | I’ll pass. | 算了吧 |
| [13:24] | Hold on, um, | 等等 |
| [13:26] | is that an open offer on the, uh, ta-ta punch? | 是不是谁都可以打咪咪拳 |
| [13:31] | Will you at least order some drinks? | 你们至少能点几杯喝的吗 |
| [13:33] | Okay, we’ll order | 好吧 我们点 |
| [13:35] | 12 waters. | 12杯水 |
| [13:36] | Tap. | 免费自来水哦 |
| [13:39] | You guys, please, this is my dream. | 各位 拜托 这是我的梦想 |
| [13:41] | And my dream doesn’t have soda-stained sweatpants in it. | 我的梦想里没有汽水污渍的运动裤 |
| [13:44] | It’s jelly, but whatever. | 那污渍来自果冻 不过随便啦 |
| [13:47] | I’m a reasonable woman. | 我是一个讲理的女人 |
| [13:50] | Yes, that is true. | 没错 她说得对 |
| [13:51] | She’s more reasonable than the Big Reba at the train station. | 她比火车站的大瑞芭讲理多了 |
| [13:54] | Fine, we’ll leave. | 没问题 我们可以走 |
| [13:56] | If one of you can beat me arm wrestling. | 前提是你们俩有一个能在掰腕子中赢我们 |
| [14:00] | But if neither of you can, | 但如果你们俩都不能 |
| [14:02] | my squad and I stay. | 那我和我的人就不走了 |
| [14:05] | Getting real ’80s movie up in here. | 上世纪80年代帮派老片的即视感 |
| [14:08] | Huh? Who’s it gonna be? | 如何 谁上啊 |
| [14:09] | It has to be you, Max. | 肯定是你啊 麦克斯 |
| [14:10] | I’m weak, fragile, beautiful, | 我弱不禁风 楚楚动人 闭月羞花 |
| [14:12] | but approachable. | 同时还平易近人 |
| [14:14] | Ready to get taught a lesson there, Jugsy? | 准备好让姐姐给你上一课了吗 奶妹 |
| [14:17] | School’s in session, Reebs. | 给你上一课的时间到了 小芭芭 |
| [14:20] | But call me Max. | 但还是叫我麦克斯吧 |
| [14:21] | Jugsy is my mother’s name. | 奶妹是我妈的名字 |
| [14:25] | Do it, Max. | 加油 麦克斯 |
| [14:26] | She is gonna take you down | 她会把你打趴下 |
| [14:28] | to downtown… | 下到十八层地狱 |
| [14:30] | In a car, | 开着小车下去 |
| [14:32] | made of… | 而那辆车名叫 |
| [14:33] | pain. | 痛苦 |
| [14:36] | Maybe just watch. | 乖乖观战少废话 |
| [14:38] | On my count. One, two, three, wrestle! | 听我数到三 一 二 三 开掰 |
| [14:52] | Wrist can’t hold! Nothing in the tank! | 手腕撑不住了 精力全用完了 |
| [14:56] | All the sexting! | 性爱短信把我掏空了 |
| [14:58] | Fight, Max! Put your back into it! | 上啊 麦克斯 挺起腰杆再拼一把 |
| [15:01] | My back’s shot too. | 我的腰杆也不行了啊 |
| [15:02] | Haven’t you seen my front? | 没看到我胸口的两大负重袋吗 |
| [15:10] | We’re staying, girls! | 姐们不走了 |
| [15:13] | Max, what are we gonna do? | 麦克斯 我们该怎么办 |
| [15:15] | I think it’s pretty clear. | 下一步显而易见 |
| [15:17] | You’re gonna have to arm wrestle Big Reba. | 你得跟大瑞芭掰腕子 |
| [15:19] | Can’t I just marry her? | 我不能直接嫁给她吗 |
| [15:24] | Come on now, Caroline, you got this. | 加油 卡洛琳 你能行的 |
| [15:25] | You’ve been wrestling with disappointment for years. | 这么多年来你一直跟失望抗争 |
| [15:29] | And I’m losing. | 而我节节败退 |
| [15:31] | On my count. | 听我数到三 |
| [15:32] | One, two, three, | 一 二 三 |
| [15:36] | wrestle! | 开掰 |
| [15:39] | Ya’ll seen the stool? | 你们看见我的凳子了吗 |
| [15:41] | Han hid it again. | 阿憨又藏起来了 |
| [15:42] | What in the sweet name of Jesus is going on in here? | 我的乖乖 你们到底在干什么 |
| [15:45] | Earl, I’m trying to motivate Caroline. | 厄尔 我在努力激励卡洛琳 |
| [15:47] | Do you remember any of the lines from Rocky? | 你记得《洛奇》里面的任何一句台词吗 |
| [15:49] | I’m gonna tell you what I tell three tourists a day. | 我用我一天跟游客说三次的那句话回答你 |
| [15:51] | I am not Carl Weathers. | 我不是卡尔·韦瑟斯 |
| [15:55] | Max, I’m losing it! | 麦克斯 我要输了 |
| [15:56] | – Help that poor girl. – Uh, Caroline, | -快帮帮那可怜的姑娘 -卡洛琳 |
| [15:58] | look at all these arm wrestling ladies | 瞧瞧这些掰腕子大力女 |
| [16:00] | in your dream dessert bar! | 在你梦想的甜品酒吧里 |
| [16:02] | You were aiming for five years of class, | 五年来你一直梦想重回上流社会 |
| [16:04] | you didn’t even get an hour! | 但你连一个小时都不曾拥有 |
| [16:09] | Hey, I can’t get the carriage in the dessert bar! | 我的婴儿推车进不去你们的甜品酒吧 |
| [16:14] | The only place it would fit was the car wash. | 唯一能推进去的地方就是洗车处 |
| [16:18] | Hey, what is all this? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [16:20] | Caroline is trying win our bar back, | 卡洛琳在奋力赢回我们的酒吧 |
| [16:22] | and I’m trying to inspire her | 而我在努力激励她 |
| [16:23] | by pointing out how bad her life is. | 方式就是指出她的人生有多惨 |
| [16:25] | And I didn’t get a text? | 居然没人发短信通知我吗 |
| [16:27] | Max, help! | 麦克斯 帮帮忙 |
| [16:29] | Uh… you haven’t had sex in a year! | 你都一年没做过爱了 |
| [16:33] | And I think you know I’m being quite generous there. | 我想你应该懂 我说一年已经很厚道了 |
| [16:37] | It’s working. She’s lonely. | 奏效了 她空虚寂寞冷 |
| [16:40] | You chased a dollar onto the third rail of the subway, | 你为了捡一块钱追到了地铁的铁轨上 |
| [16:43] | and you didn’t get it! | 最后还没有捡到 |
| [16:48] | You work as a waitress in a diner! | 你在一家餐厅当服务员 |
| [16:53] | Did you mention the waitress thing? | 你有没有提服务员的事 |
| [16:55] | Yes, I just did, Earl. | 我刚提了 厄尔 |
| [16:56] | Sorry, things are getting to me a little late. | 抱歉 我脑子反应有点缓慢 |
| [17:00] | Wait, did… did you tell her that baby Barbara | 等等 你有告诉她我宝宝芭芭拉 |
| [17:03] | is gonna get married before she is? | 会比她还早结婚吗 |
| [17:07] | Caroline, | 卡洛琳 |
| [17:08] | six years ago, | 六年前 |
| [17:10] | you had a billion dollars, | 你家财万贯 |
| [17:11] | and now… I’m gonna say it… | 而现在 这话我一定要说 |
| [17:13] | Say it! | 说啊 |
| [17:16] | Old Navy is out of your price range! | 班尼路你都买不起 |
| [17:28] | I haven’t heard from Randy. | 兰迪一直没回我短信 |
| [17:30] | Oleg’s graphic sexts must’ve freaked him out. | 奥列格的图文性爱短信肯定把他吓着了 |
| [17:34] | Even Siri covered her eyes after that last one I sent. | 我发最后一条的时候连Siri都把眼睛挡上了 |
| [17:40] | You ask Michelangelo to paint, | 你让米开朗基罗作画 |
| [17:42] | and then you criticize the painting. | 画完之后你又嫌东嫌西 |
| [17:45] | Why are you bringing the Ninja Turtles into this? | 你干嘛把忍者神龟扯进来 |
| [17:45] | 忍者神龟中 其中一龟就以文艺复兴大艺术家 米开朗基罗的名字为名 | |
| [17:48] | I just want to know what to do now. | 我只是想知道现在该怎么办 |
| [17:50] | I completely understand if you don’t | 我完全理解你不会想听 |
| [17:52] | want to take love advice from an arm wrestling champion, | 来自掰腕子冠军的爱情建议 |
| [17:55] | but why don’t you just say “Hi” Or “I miss you”? | 但何不简单地问声好或说”我想你”呢 |
| [17:59] | “Hi, I miss you”? | “你好 我想你” |
| [18:02] | No “in my pants”? | 前面不加上”我裤裆里”吗 |
| [18:05] | Okay, fine. I’ll give it a shot. | 好吧 那我试试 |
| [18:09] | Hey everyb… | 大家安… |
| [18:15] | Damn it. | 靠 |
| [18:16] | Do you need a hand there, Sophie? | 你需要帮忙吗 苏菲 |
| [18:17] | No, I got it! | 不必 我能行 |
| [18:23] | You really don’t. | 很明显你不行 |
| [18:26] | Earl, you can have the stool. | 厄尔 凳子给你吧 |
| [18:29] | I’ve had a really hard year, | 我今年过得很不顺 |
| [18:31] | and I allowed myself this one indulgence. | 我允许自己就放纵这么一次 |
| [18:33] | But, if it’s important… | 但如果真这么重要… |
| [18:34] | Sweet, I’ll take it. | 好 那我就收下啦 |
| [18:37] | Oof! Cold as ice. | 冷酷无情 |
| [18:39] | I didn’t come here to make friends. | 我又不是来这交朋友的 |
| [18:42] | No stool for you. | 凳子不给你了 |
| [18:43] | Hey… hey, why don’t we settle this | 二位 我们何不用 |
| [18:45] | the 80s movie way and arm muscle for it? | 80年代老片的方式 用臂力一决胜负 |
| [18:48] | At my age, only thing I can beat is a little girl. | 以我现在的年纪 唯一能欺负的就只有小女孩了 |
| [18:51] | So, yeah. | 所以没问题 |
| [18:55] | Bring it on. | 开战吧 |
| [18:58] | This little girl’s tougher than she looks. | 这位小女孩 可比外表看起来强壮多了 |
| [19:02] | You won’t be able to sit on that damn thing | 等我冲你的屁股一顿暴打后 |
| [19:04] | after the ass whooping I’m about to lay on you, Shorty. | 那把破凳子你想坐都坐不了 小短腿 |
| [19:08] | Shorty’s ass can take a lot, old man! | 小短腿的屁股承受力可强了呢 老家伙 |
| [19:11] | We don’t want to hear about your personal life, Han. | 阿憨 你的性事我们不想知道 |
| [19:14] | One, two, three, wrestle! | 一 二 三 开掰 |
| [19:23] | Have they started yet? | 他们开始了吗 |
| [19:25] | When this is over, | 等完事后 |
| [19:27] | I’m gonna be wiped out. | 我肯定会精疲力尽 |
| [19:30] | You gonna help me carry my stool back up there? | 你会帮我把凳子抬过去吗 |
| [19:33] | Here’s an idea. | 我有个主意 |
| [19:35] | Yeah, you say it, Han! | 快说啊 阿憨 |
| [19:37] | Burn in hell! | 下地狱吧 |
| [19:54] | Remember when I used to make you moan like that? | 还记得以前我也让你这么呻吟吗 |
| [20:05] | You really turn me on. | 你真是让我欲火焚身 |
| [20:16] | Barbara, you stay with your daddy. | 芭芭拉 你跟爸比待着 |
| [20:19] | He’s a very sexy man. | 他是一个超级性感的男人 |
| [20:24] | Randy texted me back “I miss you.” | 兰迪回我短信了 说”我想你” |
| [20:27] | Aw, that’s so sweet. | 真有爱 |
| [20:29] | Oh! In his pants! | 是他的裤裆里在想我 |
| [20:33] | Damn, Han, | 靠 阿憨 |
| [20:34] | I didn’t realize bad breath was your secret weapon. | 我没想到口臭是你的秘密武器 |
| [20:43] | Stool me, Shorty. | 一翻两”凳”眼 小短腿 |
| [20:46] | Who am I wrestling for the hemorrhoid doughnut? | 我跟谁掰腕子才能抢甜甜圈形痔疮垫呀 |