| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Here’s your grilled cheese. | 你的烤起司三明治 |
| [00:04] | No crust. | 切边了 |
| [00:05] | Cool. | 太好了 |
| [00:07] | And can you just move your coloring materials, sir? | 能麻烦你把填色的东西移开吗 先生 |
| [00:11] | Look. | 你看 |
| [00:12] | Pretty. | “真好看” |
| [00:16] | I was born during the Great Depression, | 我出生在经济大萧条时期 |
| [00:18] | and I never saw anything as depressing | 但我还没看过比 |
| [00:21] | as that grown-ass white boy | 那个都他妈多少岁了的白人男娃 |
| [00:24] | coloring in the damn coloring book. | 在画填色本更悲哀[萧条]的事了 |
| [00:29] | I was born during a Def Leppard concert… | 我出生在威豹乐队演唱会上 |
| [00:34] | And that is the most depressing thing I’ve ever seen. | 而那是我这辈子看过最悲哀的事了 |
| [00:37] | I’m gonna go school him. | 我要过去教育教育他 |
| [00:39] | Or, in his case, pre-school him. | 或者应该说是 学前教育他 |
| [00:41] | Max, be gentle. | 麦克斯 别太狠 |
| [00:43] | I think he’s in the middle of his terrible 32s. | 他正处于他的悲惨32岁时期 |
| [00:47] | Excuse me, OshKosh B’gosh. | 打扰了 巴拉巴拉红黄蓝 |
| [00:50] | I have a question about your coloring book. | 我对你的填色本有个问题 |
| [00:52] | Why? | 你干毛呢 |
| [00:54] | Oh, they’re for adults. | 这是成人着色本 |
| [00:56] | Super Zen. | 超有禅意 |
| [00:57] | Super meditative. | 超能让人沉思 |
| [00:58] | Helps with stress. | 还有助于解压 |
| [01:00] | You know what else helps with stress? | 你知道还有什么事能有助于解压吗 |
| [01:01] | Sex. | 做爱 |
| [01:04] | And even if someone could get past | 就算某个攻能忍受 |
| [01:06] | those boner-killing overalls… | 你那看了就让人阳痿的吊带裤 |
| [01:09] | you ain’t gonna have any of that if you keep this up. | 但如果你继续涂涂涂 你这辈子也别想啪啪啪 |
| [01:11] | Not to mention, how stressful can your life really be | 更不用说 你生活能有什么压力啊 |
| [01:13] | if you are carefully shading a unicorn’s ass | 你都有空在周二下午三点 |
| [01:16] | 3:00 P.M. on a Tuesday? | 为独角兽的菊花仔细描阴影 |
| [01:33] | Pickup. Veggie wrap. | 上菜 蔬菜卷 |
| [01:38] | Oh, my God, he’s having sex. | 我勒个去 他在打炮 |
| [01:42] | Oh, Caroline, don’t be such a prude. | 卡洛琳 你装什么假正经 |
| [01:46] | Oh, good, it’s Sophie. | 太好了 是苏菲 |
| [01:48] | I was worried he was at that bagel again. | 我还担心他又开始插那个贝果 |
| [01:53] | Who says that a pregnant woman can’t have sex | 是谁说怀孕的女人就不能 |
| [01:56] | on the kitchen floor of a diner? | 在餐厅厨房地上做爱呢 |
| [01:59] | The Health Department, Sophie. | 卫生部的人 苏菲 |
| [02:03] | Oh boy, sex makes me thirsty. | 做完爱好口渴啊 |
| [02:09] | She just blew right past those cups. | 她就直接无视那些杯子 |
| [02:14] | Sophie, having sex with you pregnant | 苏菲 在你怀孕的时候跟你做爱 |
| [02:16] | is even hotter than having sex when you had the bird flu. | 比跟你得禽流感的时候做爱还带劲 |
| [02:21] | Yeah, well, you know, I’m just as sweaty, | 是啊 我一样全身冒汗 |
| [02:23] | but I sneeze less. | 但是不怎么打喷嚏 |
| [02:27] | Sophie, you’re really not letting | 苏菲 怀孕真是丝毫没有 |
| [02:29] | this pregnancy slow you down. | 妨碍你做爱的频率 |
| [02:30] | You’ve already had more sex just today | 你光是今天打过的炮 |
| [02:32] | than Caroline’s had all year. | 就比卡洛琳一年的量还多 |
| [02:37] | You’re not even in maternity clothes. | 而且你都没穿孕妇装 |
| [02:39] | Yeah. | 对啊 |
| [02:40] | Well, I don’t need to wear one of those frumpy potato sacks. | 我才不需要穿那种单调像土豆麻袋的衣服 |
| [02:45] | Yeah, because I’m a hot potato! | 因为我可是性感土豆姐 |
| [02:56] | Earl, what are you looking at? | 厄尔你看什么呢 |
| [02:58] | I have no idea. | 我也不知道我看到什么鬼 |
| [03:03] | All right, Max… | 好了 麦克斯 |
| [03:05] | It’s time to have that uncomfortable conversation again. | 是时候来聊聊那件你不想聊的事 |
| [03:08] | Okay, but I thought you said it was a hard no | 好吧 但我记得是你自己说 |
| [03:10] | on having sex in front of the Today Show window? | 打死不在谈话节目的背景窗前做爱 |
| [03:14] | Oh, come on. | 来嘛 |
| [03:15] | My month here is almost up. | 我来这里的期限就要到了 |
| [03:16] | I have to get back to L.A., and we need a plan. | 我得回洛城了 我们需要个计划 |
| [03:20] | We have a plan. | 我们有计划啊 |
| [03:21] | I use the NuvaRing I found at the Burlington Coat Factory. | 我用着大衣卖场里捡到的节育环来”计划”生育 |
| [03:26] | They really are more than great coats. | 那里真的不是只有好大衣而已哦 |
| [03:30] | Max, let’s get real. | 麦克斯 说点现实的 |
| [03:31] | Max doesn’t like to talk about reality | 麦克斯不喜欢谈论现实 |
| [03:33] | unless it’s reality TV. | 除非是真人[现实]秀 |
| [03:35] | Like the Cops New Orleans episode she was on. | 就像她上过的那集警察抓犯人真人秀 |
| [03:39] | It’s the only time Fox has ever aired a nipple. | 那是那家电视台首次播出过奶头呢 |
| [03:45] | Uh, who ordered the Korean boy band? | 谁点了韩国男团啊 |
| [03:52] | Uh, can I help you? | 请问有事吗 |
| [03:54] | Yeah, hi. | 你好 |
| [03:55] | I’m looking for Han Lee. | 我来找李憨 |
| [03:56] | ‘Bout yay big. | 身高到这里 |
| [03:58] | ‘Bout yay stupid. | 蠢度到这里 |
| [04:02] | You’re looking for Han? | 你想找阿憨吗 |
| [04:04] | Just Han, or are you trying to collect the whole set? | 是光阿憨 还是想要搜集整套阿憨迷你娃 |
| [04:07] | You kind of look like this Korean pop star named Bong. | 你长得像一个叫”棒”的韩国明星 |
| [04:11] | Well, my bong is from Korea. | 我的大麻烟斗[棒]也是韩国做的呢 |
| [04:14] | Uh, Han is not here. | 阿憨不在 |
| [04:16] | Well, if you see him, | 如果你见到他 |
| [04:18] | just tell him Hwang came to say, | 告诉他黄哥来找过他 |
| [04:20] | if he doesn’t call me back, he’s got three strikes | 如果他不回我电话 他就要三好球[出局] |
| [04:23] | and no balls. | 而且没坏球[蛋蛋] |
| [04:25] | Oh, he knows that. | 他知道 |
| [04:30] | Oh, my God, do you think Han may be in some sort of trouble? | 天啊 你觉得阿憨是不是惹上什么麻烦了 |
| [04:33] | I’m really worried. | 我好担心 |
| [04:35] | Oh, J. Crew sale! | 有个牌子要打折了 |
| [04:42] | So, after we pay the painters, the electrician, the plumber, | 等我们付完刷墙工 电工 管道工的钱 |
| [04:45] | and, of course, the bribes to the inspectors, | 当然还有贿赂检查员后 |
| [04:48] | we have just enough money left for what I like to call | 我们刚好有足够钱可以拿来当 |
| [04:50] | a little “cash cush.” | “保底救急金” |
| [04:52] | If that’s cash we use for kush, I’m excited about it. | 如果是买大麻的救急金 我超欢迎 |
| [04:56] | We can’t spend that money, so pretend it’s not there, | 这钱不能乱花 假装它不存在吧 |
| [04:59] | like you do with recycling bins. | 就像你眼里的可回收垃圾桶一样 |
| [05:02] | Oh, no! | 惨了 |
| [05:03] | The rats are using our tarp as their Superdome again! | 老鼠又把防水布里当角斗场了 |
| [05:07] | I’ll get the rat mallet! | 我拿砸鼠锤 |
| [05:09] | No, don’t get the rat mallet! | 拜托别拿砸鼠锤 |
| [05:14] | It’s a talking one, get the gun. | 是会说话的耗子 快去拿枪 |
| [05:18] | Well, if it isn’t Crouching Loser, Hidden Virgin. | 哎哟 这不是”卧鼠藏笼”的男主角吗 |
| [05:24] | Girls, I’m in a bit of hot water. | 姑娘们 我现在正处于水深火热中 |
| [05:27] | What happened, you fell into a tea cup again? | 怎么了 你又不小心掉进茶杯里了吗 |
| [05:31] | No, I’m in deep trouble! | 不是 我深陷困境 |
| [05:34] | You’ve never been in deep anything. | 你这辈子才没”深入”过任何地方 |
| [05:38] | Well, wait, is that why those scary-looking guys | 等等 是因为这样所以那些牛鬼蛇神 |
| [05:39] | came into the diner looking for you | 才跑来餐厅找你 |
| [05:41] | and made some threats? | 然后说出那些狠话吗 |
| [05:42] | I remember something about a strike and no balls. | 好像是跟什么出局无蛋蛋有关吧 |
| [05:46] | Something about no balls? | 好像跟无蛋蛋有关吧 |
| [05:49] | You monsters didn’t get the precise wording | 你们俩恶女居然连威胁我性命的话 |
| [05:51] | on a threat to my life? | 都没有听好记牢吗 |
| [05:54] | I was a little distracted, Han. | 我当时有些分心嘛 阿憨 |
| [05:56] | J. Crew claimed to have a 50% off sale, | 有个牌子声称要打五折 |
| [06:00] | but then I clicked on the link, and it was an “Up to” 50% sale. | 结果我点进去 发现是”最高五折” |
| [06:04] | Mostly on men’s suiting. | 大部分都是男性西装 |
| [06:06] | Oh, do send me the link | 麻烦你把链接发给我 |
| [06:08] | so I can select the suit I’ll be buried in! | 我好选入葬时穿的寿衣 |
| [06:13] | Because you two can’t take a damn message! | 因为你们俩连个留言都记不好 |
| [06:16] | All right, Han, what is going on? | 好了 阿憨 到底怎么回事 |
| [06:18] | Are you really in trouble? | 你真的惹了麻烦吗 |
| [06:23] | What was that? | 刚才是什么声音 |
| [06:25] | Help me, strong, big man! | 帮帮我 高大强壮的猛男 |
| [06:28] | That wasn’t gunshots, Han, | 刚才不是枪声 阿憨 |
| [06:30] | it was just a car backfiring. | 只是有车引擎逆火了 |
| [06:32] | What’s going on? | 到底怎么啦 |
| [06:34] | Well, there’s no easy way to say it. | 这件事情不好启齿 |
| [06:37] | I have a pretty substantial gambling problem. | 我有严重的赌瘾 |
| [06:43] | But Han, that’s almost interesting. | 阿憨 没想到你还挺会玩 |
| [06:47] | Yeah, and I’m almost history! | 我也挺快要入土了 |
| [06:51] | In case you weren’t following, | 为免你没听懂 |
| [06:53] | I’m in a lot of debt! | 我欠了一屁股债 |
| [07:00] | Han, my man, I’m here for you. | 小兄弟 有我在呢 |
| [07:02] | Tell us what it is. | 跟我们说吧 |
| [07:03] | Poker, ponies, football? | 扑克 赌马还是赌球 |
| [07:07] | It’s… | 是… |
| [07:09] | ladies tennis. | 赌女子网球 |
| [07:13] | Ladies tennis? | 女子网球吗 |
| [07:16] | I didn’t even know you played tennis. | 我都不知道你还打网球 |
| [07:19] | Yeah, well, it’s a vicious sport. | 这运动可魔性了 |
| [07:21] | And I lost most of my money on those Williams sisters. | 我的钱都输在那对威廉姆斯姐妹身上了 |
| [07:25] | Never trust a big butt and a smile. | 就像歌词唱得 “不要相信微笑的大屁股妞” |
| [07:30] | You’re telling me! | 还用你说 |
| [07:31] | I thought the bad one was the good one. | 是我看走眼 错把草当宝押 |
| [07:34] | How much do you owe these people? | 你欠这些人多少赌债 |
| [07:36] | Well, with the initial debt and the interest. | 一开始欠的债加上利息 |
| [07:38] | I’m told it’s in the neighborhood | 我欠的债大概是… |
| [07:40] | of a black market kidney. | 一个黑市肾的价格吧 |
| [07:43] | Those are pretty pricey. | 那些肾可不便宜呢 |
| [07:45] | I know, I have two of them. | 我知道就是因为我身上有两个 |
| [07:48] | Han, that’s fascinating, | 阿憨 故事引人入胜 |
| [07:51] | yet disturbing. | 又令人不寒而栗 |
| [07:52] | Like when you use a black light at a Red Roof Inn. | 就像在便宜炮房用黑光灯照体液一样可怕 |
| [07:56] | You’re like an enigma. | 你就像个米团 |
| [07:58] | Enigma, please. | 拜托 是谜团好吗 |
| [08:05] | Han, how dangerous can Hwang be? | 阿憨 这个黄哥能凶到哪儿去啊 |
| [08:08] | His office is in a karaoke bar. | 他的办公处在K房里 |
| [08:10] | The only thing he’s gonna murder | 他唯一会谋杀[糟蹋]的是 |
| [08:11] | is the Hall and Oates catalogue. | 是霍尔与奥兹二重唱的歌单 |
| [08:14] | Han, you have to face this bully. | 阿憨 你得面对这个恶霸 |
| [08:16] | And this is coming from your biggest bully. | 这是你人生中最大的恶霸给你的建议 |
| [08:20] | Now come on, do what I say, or I’ll beat you up. | 听话 按我说的做 不然就揍你 |
| [08:24] | Here we go. | 走起 |
| [08:25] | Oh, I just remembered… I need to get my sweater. | 我突然想起来 我得拿一下毛衣 |
| [08:28] | From my home. | 家里那件 |
| [08:30] | In Korea. | 韩国的家 |
| [08:35] | ♪ Hey I just met you ♪ | ♪ 这是我们初次见面 ♪ |
| [08:37] | ♪ And this is crazy ♪ | ♪ 我也知道这样很疯狂 ♪ |
| [08:39] | ♪ So here’s my number ♪ | ♪ 但这是我的电话号码 ♪ |
| [08:41] | ♪ so call me maybe ♪ | ♪ 有机会要打给我哦 ♪ |
| [08:43] | ♪ And all the other girls ♪ | ♪ 而其他的小妞们呢 ♪ |
| [08:46] | ♪ Try to chase me ♪ | ♪ 也都想倒追我 ♪ |
| [08:47] | ♪ But here’s my number ♪ | ♪ 但这是我的电话号码 ♪ |
| [08:49] | ♪ So call me maybe ♪ | ♪ 有机会要打给我哦 ♪ |
| [08:56] | He looks busy. | 他好像很忙 |
| [08:57] | Let’s revisit this in September. | 九月再来找他吧 |
| [09:01] | Oh, I see we have company. | 好像来了客人呢 |
| [09:03] | Come in, sit down, give me my money. | 进来 坐下 把我的钱交出来 |
| [09:06] | Look, Mr. Hwang. | 黄先生听我说 |
| [09:08] | We understand Han has a weakness for pleated white skirts | 我们知道阿憨对白色百褶短裙 |
| [09:11] | and over-developed thighs. | 与粗壮大腿没有抵抗力 |
| [09:13] | Slow down, let me handle this. | 坐下 我来处理 |
| [09:14] | I have experience with hardened criminals. | 我有丰富跟江湖惯犯的交手经验 |
| [09:17] | First off, killer Carly Rae Jeps. | 首先 那女歌手的歌你唱太赞了 |
| [09:21] | Um, do you mind if a sister does, like, five shots? | 你介意我先自罚个五杯烈酒吗 |
| [09:25] | Look, Mr. Hwang. | 听我说 黄先生 |
| [09:27] | Call me by my first name: Hwang. | 居然敢直呼我的名字 “黄” |
| [09:30] | Your names is Hwang Hwang? | 你的姓名叫黄·黄吗 |
| [09:34] | Oh, you think that’s funny? | 你觉得很好笑吗 |
| [09:36] | So did Kim. | 阿金也觉得好笑 |
| [09:38] | Kim, show them your mangled genitals. | 阿金 给他们看看你被剁碎的小鸡鸡 |
| [09:42] | We’re all set, mangled genitals-wise. | 剁碎的小鸡鸡我们就不用看了 |
| [09:46] | Speak for yourself, I’d take a peek at them mangled gennies. | 你别乱代表我 我可是很乐意看呢 |
| [09:51] | Uh, perhaps we could put an installment plan in place | 或许我们可以算算阿憨欠你多少钱 |
| [09:53] | for the money Han owes you? | 然后看看怎么分期付款合适 |
| [09:55] | How much is it, exactly? | 他欠您多少钱来着 |
| [09:56] | $30,000. | 三万 |
| [09:58] | On ladies tennis? | 女子网球赌输三万吗 |
| [10:02] | I’m sure we can figure this out. | 这事我们绝对可以解决 |
| [10:04] | Yeah, I have a free pass to any AMC Theatre. | 我有张AMC连锁电影院的免费劵 |
| [10:13] | I should warn you, though, it does exclude the IMAX. | 不过我得先提醒你 此劵不能看IMAX电影 |
| [10:17] | Keep it, Han. | 阿憨 你自己收着吧 |
| [10:18] | I’ve decided to give you a little time to pay me back. | 我决定多给你点时间还钱 |
| [10:20] | That is so cool of you. | 你人真是太赞了 |
| [10:22] | How much time? | 多给多少时间 |
| [10:24] | Uh, one song. | 一首歌的时间 |
| [10:26] | Right now. | 现在唱 |
| [10:27] | And Han? | 对了 阿憨 |
| [10:28] | You better make it a toe-tapper. | 你最好选一首脚打节拍的歌 |
| [10:30] | ‘Cause when you’re done, | 因为你唱完之后 |
| [10:32] | you’ll have one less toe to tap. | 你就要少一根能打节拍的脚趾了 |
| [10:36] | You’re not really gonna take off his toes. | 你不是真要切掉他一根脚趾吧 |
| [10:39] | Kim, show him your missing toes. | 阿金 给他看看你没掉的脚趾 |
| [10:43] | Come on, Han, it’s show time. | 来吧 阿憨 你的表演时间到了 |
| [10:45] | I mean, “Toe time.” | 应该说 “脚趾时间”到了 |
| [10:51] | Oh, my God, this is like when they make people sing | 天啊 这感觉就像是《美国偶像》 |
| [10:53] | on American Idol after they’ve been voted off. | 让那些被淘汰者再唱首歌时一样 |
| [10:57] | Hwang, what are you gonna do with another toe? | 黄哥 你要多一根脚趾头干嘛 |
| [11:01] | I mean, you think you need another one, | 你觉得自己需要多一根 |
| [11:02] | and then they just sit on the shelf. | 但结果它们只是被束之高阁 |
| [11:05] | If I don’t take his toes, then I’m known as the guy | 如果我不切掉他的脚趾 那我就会成为 |
| [11:08] | who says he’s gonna take toes and then doesn’t take toes. | 人们眼中出尔反尔 说切脚趾却不切的人 |
| [11:12] | Uh, can I peruse a song book? | 我能翻阅下点歌本吗 |
| [11:15] | It might take a while, I’m very picky. | 可能时间会比较长 因为我非常挑哦 |
| [11:19] | Abba… | 阿巴合唱团 |
| [11:22] | AC/DC… | AC/DC乐队 |
| [11:26] | Adele… | 阿黛尔 |
| [11:29] | I already picked you a song. | 我已经帮你选好歌了 |
| [11:32] | “Last Dance” By Donna Summer. | 唐娜·莎曼的《最后一支舞》 |
| [11:35] | ‘Cause when that toe is gone, | 因为当脚趾头没掉时 |
| [11:37] | it’ll be the last time you dance. | 这将会是你最后一次跳舞 |
| [11:40] | Sing. | 快唱 |
| [11:57] | ♪ Last dance ♪ | ♪ 最后一支舞 ♪ |
| [12:01] | ♪ Last chance for love ♪ | ♪ 爱情最后的机会 ♪ |
| [12:11] | ♪ Yes it’s my last chance ♪ | ♪ 是的 这是我最后的机会 ♪ |
| [12:14] | ♪ For romance ♪ | ♪ 为了今夜的 ♪ |
| [12:17] | ♪ tonight ♪ | ♪ 浪漫 ♪ |
| [12:24] | ♪ I need you ♪ | ♪ 我需要你 ♪ |
| [12:27] | ♪ by me ♪ | ♪ 在我身边 ♪ |
| [12:31] | ♪ beside me ♪ | ♪ 在我身旁 ♪ |
| [12:33] | ♪ to guide me ♪ | ♪ 指引我 ♪ |
| [12:34] | What are we gonna do? | 我们该怎么办 |
| [12:36] | You heard Han. | 你也听见阿憨唱啦 |
| [12:37] | He needs us by him, beside him, to guide him! | 他需要我们在他身边 在他身旁 指引他 |
| [12:42] | Should we go and get the cops? | 我们是不是该去报警啊 |
| [12:43] | No, by the time they get back, | 不行 等警察来了 |
| [12:44] | Han will have one less toe, | 阿憨会少一根脚趾头 |
| [12:46] | if Hwang even stops there. | 如果黄哥切完住手还好 |
| [12:48] | What if he takes his whole foot? | 万一他在兴头上 整个脚掌都切了怎么办 |
| [12:50] | Han needs all the height he can get. | 阿憨一毫米的高度都矮不起 |
| [12:53] | Didn’t you say something about us having a money cushion? | 你之前不是说我们有一笔保底救急金吗 |
| [12:56] | We can’t use the cushion. | 我们不能动那笔钱 |
| [12:58] | We need it for the dessert bar in case we have a slow start. | 那是留给甜品酒吧运转的 以防一开始生意不好 |
| [13:01] | Like we have had with every business we’ve started before. | 以前我们每一次创业都会出现这种情况 |
| [13:04] | You sure? ‘Cause… | 你确定吗 因为 |
| [13:07] | ♪ Don’t leave ♪ | ♪ 求别走 ♪ |
| [13:10] | ♪ scold me ♪ | ♪ 求骂我 ♪ |
| [13:13] | ♪ ’cause when I’m bad ♪ | ♪ 因为我很坏 ♪ |
| [13:17] | ♪ I’m so so bad ♪ | ♪ 我真的好坏 ♪ |
| [13:25] | Leaning towards helping. | 天平开始向帮他倾斜 |
| [13:28] | Han is annoying, nerdy, bad at sports, | 阿憨的确烦人 死宅又不善运动 |
| [13:32] | but he gave us a cushion when we didn’t have anything. | 但当我们一无所有时 他也给过我们救急金 |
| [13:34] | Max, I want to help Han, | 麦克斯 我也想帮阿憨 |
| [13:36] | but I also don’t want us to wind up with nothing. | 但我不想最后搞得我们一无所有 |
| [13:39] | Again. | 历史重演 |
| [13:41] | Let me see him one more time. | 让我再看看他的小脸 |
| [13:43] | ♪ So let’s dance ♪ | ♪ 来跳舞吧 ♪ |
| [13:46] | ♪ let’s dance ♪ | ♪ 跳起来 ♪ |
| [13:48] | ♪ let’s dance ♪ | ♪ 让我们来 ♪ |
| [13:50] | ♪ the last dance ♪ | ♪ 跳最后一支舞 ♪ |
| [13:51] | Can I start over? | 我能重唱一遍吗 |
| [13:53] | I had a bubble in my throat. | 我嗓子进空气了 |
| [13:59] | Chestnut, we have big news. | 栗宝 我们有重大消息宣布 |
| [14:01] | And something called mochi. | 还有糯米团哦 |
| [14:03] | In here. | 在里面 |
| [14:04] | I let myself in. | 我自己进来了 |
| [14:07] | Chestnut can talk? | 栗宝居然会说话 |
| [14:09] | Thank you, God! | 感谢上帝 |
| [14:13] | What’s up, good looking? | 你好呀 可人儿 |
| [14:16] | I still can’t believe | 我至今仍难以置信 |
| [14:17] | you’re dating someone who looks like that, | 你居然会跟不仅有脸蛋有身材 |
| [14:19] | and can read. | 还有脑子会读书的男人交往 |
| [14:21] | Randy, you will not believe what we did. | 兰迪 你肯定不会相信刚才我们做了什么 |
| [14:25] | We saved Han’s life. | 我们救了阿憨一命 |
| [14:27] | Well, not his life, so much as his toe, | 与其说救了他一命 不如说救了他一根脚趾 |
| [14:29] | but still an amazing gesture on our part. | 但我们的善心还是没话说 |
| [14:34] | Long story about a short guy, | 小矮子的故事有一匹布那么长 |
| [14:37] | we bought the diner. | 但总而言之 我们把餐厅买下了 |
| [14:42] | I had to get something out of it. | 救了他总该有点回报吧 |
| [14:43] | I mean, I’m not Mother Teresa. | 我又不是无私的特蕾莎修女 |
| [14:46] | You bought the diner? | 你们买下了餐厅 |
| [14:48] | The diner that doesn’t show up on Google Maps | 那家由于法律原因 在谷歌地图上 |
| [14:50] | for legal reasons? | 都找不到的餐厅 |
| [14:51] | That diner? | 是那家吗 |
| [14:53] | Why would you do that? | 你们为什么要这么做 |
| [14:55] | Well, not bought, exactly. | 确切来说 不算买下 |
| [14:57] | We got Han out of debt in exchange for part ownership. | 我们帮阿憨还债 他给我们部分股权作为交换 |
| [15:00] | It’s like, we spend five years trying to get out of hell, | 感觉就像 我们花了五年的时间试图逃出地狱 |
| [15:02] | and then… | 结果… |
| [15:03] | we bought hell! | 我们买下了地狱 |
| [15:06] | Crazy, right? | 想不到吧 |
| [15:07] | Yeah, no, real crazy. | 是啊 打死我都想不到 |
| [15:09] | When I think of impulse buys, I think of Altoids | 说到冲动消费 我会想到薄荷糖 |
| [15:12] | or a flashlight keychain. | 或手电筒钥匙扣 |
| [15:14] | Well, I guess congratulations. | 我该恭喜你们 |
| [15:17] | Wait, what is that look on your face? | 慢着 你这是什么表情 |
| [15:18] | I’ve never seen it before. | 我从来没见过 |
| [15:20] | Are you mad? | 你是生气了吗 |
| [15:23] | Just surprised you didn’t think | 只是意外你都没想过 |
| [15:24] | to talk to me about it first. | 跟我先商量一下 |
| [15:26] | What, every time I buy a diner, I have to tell you? | 干嘛啦 我每买一家餐厅都得告诉你吗 |
| [15:31] | I go back to L.A. in three days. | 我还有三天就回洛城了 |
| [15:34] | You couldn’t make a plan for that, | 你连计划一下我们的将来都做不到 |
| [15:35] | but you bought the diner? | 买个餐厅倒是轻而易举 |
| [15:37] | That’s a commitment. | 那可是重大的承诺啊 |
| [15:39] | Now it’s done. | 现在覆水难收了 |
| [15:44] | I should go tell Chestnut what we did. | 我该去告诉栗宝我们的所作所为了 |
| [15:48] | ‘Cause he is gonna laugh. | 因为他肯定会笑 |
| [15:54] | I know what’ll make this all okay. | 我知道做什么能弥补 |
| [15:56] | Some jug snugs? | 把头埋进咪咪里 |
| [15:59] | Yours, not mine. | 埋进你的大咪咪 不是我的 |
| [16:02] | Nothing? | 没反应吗 |
| [16:04] | Well, if we’re not gonna do it, | 好吧 如果我们不打算玩这个 |
| [16:05] | at least put on a shirt. | 那至少把衣服穿上 |
| [16:06] | I am human. | 我可是个有冲动的人 |
| [16:09] | You really think you’re gonna have time for us? | 你真的觉得你会有时间经营我们的感情吗 |
| [16:10] | Starting a new business and owning the diner? | 开一家新店 还要当餐厅老板 |
| [16:13] | Yes! | 当然有啊 |
| [16:14] | I had four jobs in sixth grade, | 我六年级的时候有4份工作 |
| [16:16] | and I still had time to follow Smash Mouth around the country. | 我还有时间跟着”破嘴”全国跑 |
| [16:20] | Not the band, a meth head my mom really liked. | 不是那个乐队 是我妈很喜欢的一个冰毒贩子 |
| [16:24] | Chestnut had a big reaction to the news, as well. | 栗宝听了这件事 反应也很”大” |
| [16:28] | Where’s the poop shovel? | 铲屎的铁锹在哪里 |
| [16:35] | Hey, boss ladies, congratulations! | 女老板们 祝贺两位 |
| [16:37] | I heard that you own the diner now. | 我听说现在餐厅是你们的了 |
| [16:40] | Which is why I am doing double doobies. | 所以我今天高兴得抽大麻双烟卷 |
| [16:45] | Part! Part owners! | 是合伙人 |
| [16:46] | I’m still the boss. | 老板还是我 |
| [16:48] | Put that away! | 把那玩意放一边去 |
| [16:49] | Doobie continued. | 未”点”待”抽” |
| [16:52] | Who’s the boss, Tiny Danza? | 谁才是老板啊 矮尼·丹扎 |
| [16:52] | 《谁才是老板》又名《妙管家》 80年代喜剧 男主角名叫” 托尼·丹扎” | |
| [16:55] | Well, I will be again, as soon as I scrape up | 很快又会是我 只要我攒够钱 |
| [16:58] | the money to pay you back. | 把钱还给你们 |
| [17:00] | But don’t worry, from now on, | 但别担心 从今往后 |
| [17:01] | I’m not gambling on anything | 我再也不赌 |
| [17:03] | but lunch at Chipotle. | 除了打赌请吃墨西哥快餐 |
| [17:07] | Hey, everybody! | 大家安安 |
| [17:10] | Sophie’s back and better than ever! | 苏菲回归 状态更胜以往 |
| [17:13] | Like racism in America. | 就像美国的种族歧视 |
| [17:17] | I heard that. | 我听说了 |
| [17:19] | Wow, Sophie, that is some dress. | 苏菲 这裙子真是非同凡响 |
| [17:22] | And there must be one very cold leopard out there. | 现在一定有只被扒了皮的豹子 正冻得瑟瑟发抖呢 |
| [17:25] | Oh, I like your style, baby. | 我喜欢你这身打扮 宝贝 |
| [17:29] | I realized | 我意识到 |
| [17:31] | I don’t need to wear those basic bitch maternity clothes. | 我不需要穿那些婊气冲天的普通孕妇装 |
| [17:35] | I can be maternal without losing that little whisper | 我可以当个非常规孕妇 保留最后那点 |
| [17:39] | that says, “I’m doable.” | 告诉人”想操我就来”的风韵 |
| [17:44] | Yes, you are. | 没错 |
| [17:46] | She also made a maternity item for the bedroom. | 她还做了一件孕妇物品 供卧室使用 |
| [17:49] | It’s called “The Preglige.” | 叫”孕爱神器” |
| [17:53] | Hey, Oleg. | 奥列格 |
| [17:54] | Meet me in the bathroom. | 去厕所跟我汇”合” |
| [18:02] | Hey, Earl, I’m heading out. | 厄尔 我要走了 |
| [18:03] | I guess we’ll never get to do that Lethal Weapon reboot | 之前说好的重演《致命武器》 |
| [18:06] | we talked about. | 估计是没戏了 |
| [18:07] | That’s all right, I’m doing a Rush Hour reboot with Han. | 没关系 我找阿憨重演《尖峰时刻》好了 |
| [18:12] | What’re you doing with that luggage? | 你拿着行李干嘛 |
| [18:14] | Did I get you kicked out of another hotel? | 我又害你被酒店赶出来了吗 |
| [18:17] | No, I changed my ticket. | 不 我把机票改签了 |
| [18:18] | Going back to L.A. Today. | 我今天就回洛杉矶 |
| [18:20] | But that’s today. | 现在就是今天 |
| [18:23] | And that is a ticket to Los Angeles. | 这是一张去洛杉矶的机票 |
| [18:26] | Use it whenever you want and I’ll be there. | 你什么时候想来都行 我等着你 |
| [18:30] | This is empty. | 里面啥也没有啊 |
| [18:31] | Yeah, everything’s done online now. | 对啊 这年头都是网上订票 |
| [18:35] | I just did that for effect. | 我只是做做效果 |
| [18:37] | You’ll get an email. | 你会收到一封电邮的 |
| [18:39] | Good luck with your dessert bar and the diner. | 祝你的甜品酒吧和餐厅 一切顺利 |
| [18:43] | I’m gonna see you. | 我还是会去找你的啊 |
| [18:44] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [18:54] | Wait, wait, wait, wait. | 等等 等等 |
| [18:56] | Why are you being so good-bye-y? | 你干嘛一副就此别过 后会无期的样子 |
| [18:59] | I’m gonna visit as soon as things get settled here. | 只要这边事情一定下来 我立刻就去找你 |
| [19:01] | And we’ll talk every day. | 我们每天都能通电话啊 |
| [19:03] | I’m even better at phone sex than I am at real sex. | 我电话做爱比真实做爱更强呢 |
| [19:06] | I find that hard to believe. | 我才不信 |
| [19:07] | It’s the only thing on my resume that’s not a lie. | 这是我简历上唯一没撒谎的技能 |
| [19:11] | I’ll figure it out. We’ll make a plan. | 我会考虑清楚 我们会想出计划 |
| [19:15] | I know you think that. | 我知道你这么想 |
| [19:16] | But I think I was right the first time. | 但我觉得一开始我就是对的 |
| [19:19] | Long-distance relationships don’t work. | 异地恋行不通 |
| [19:22] | And I think the real distance between us | 我觉得我们之间真正的距离是 |
| [19:24] | is where we are in our lives. | 我们人生的差距 |
| [19:26] | What distance? | 什么距离 |
| [19:27] | I’m three inches away from you. | 我们现在的距离不到10厘米 |
| [19:32] | You better get back to your diner. | 你还是快回你的餐厅吧 |
| [19:35] | I love you, Max. | 我爱你 麦克斯 |
| [19:39] | I love you, too. | 我也爱你 |
| [19:46] | Okay, that felt really good-bye-y. | 好吧 这下感觉真的像就此别过了 |
| [19:57] | I’m okay, Earl. | 我没事 厄尔 |
| [19:58] | This is for me. | 这是给我擦眼泪的 |
| [20:03] | I know this is really hard, | 我知道这很难 |
| [20:05] | but you don’t know where this all is gonna end up. | 但你不知道你们的感情会何去何从 |
| [20:08] | Like you, when you ride the subway on ecstasy. | 就像你嗑了摇头丸去坐地铁一样 |
| [20:13] | Are you okay? | 你还好吗 |
| [20:15] | I am the opposite of okay. | 恰恰相反 不好 |
| [20:19] | You know, as the boss, I could let you take a break. | 作为老板 我可以让你休息一下 |
| [20:23] | I mean, ten minutes, tops. | 最多 十分钟吧 |
| [20:25] | If I give you more than ten minutes, | 如果让你休息超过10分钟 |
| [20:27] | then I’ll be known as the girl who says | 我就会成为人们眼中那个 |
| [20:28] | she’s gonna give ten minutes, then doesn’t give ten minutes. | 出尔反尔 说好给十分钟却没做到的女人 |
| [20:33] | I need to talk to the owner. | 我想跟店主谈谈 |
| [20:35] | That’s me! | 我就是 |
| [20:36] | Oh, that was really painful. | 这一声答应听得我肝儿疼 |
| [20:40] | And probably worse than losing a toe. | 可能比失去一根脚趾疼多了 |