| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Earl, I told you to mop the entrance. | 厄尔 我说了让你拖门口的地 |
| [00:07] | That floor is dirtier than Bob Saget | 这地板比喜剧中心台的 |
| [00:09] | at a Comedy Central roast. | 艺人吐槽大会还”脏” |
| [00:13] | You know what it sounds like you need, cranky lady? | 你知道你听起来需要什么东西吗 暴躁妹 |
| [00:17] | A Midol and a Dove bar. | 经痛药加巧克力棒 |
| [00:20] | You watch it, too, Oleg. | 你也招子放亮点 奥列格 |
| [00:22] | Like Earl’s hip, you can be replaced. | 就像厄尔的髋骨 你也能被换掉 |
| [00:27] | Have you noticed since Max and Caroline have been away, | 你有发现自从麦克斯与卡洛琳走了 |
| [00:31] | Han is getting a little big for his bitches? | 阿憨这个小婊子脾气变很大吗 |
| [00:34] | Did I say bitches? | 我叫他小婊子了吗 |
| [00:37] | ‘Cause I meant to. | 我故意的 |
| [00:40] | I will not be bossed around by someone 40 years younger than me. | 我才不要被一个小我40岁的人颐指气使 |
| [00:44] | He is not my second wife. | 他又不是我第二任老婆 |
| [00:49] | I am calling diner security. | 我要打给餐厅的保安 |
| [00:55] | What’s up, Earl? | 啥事上门找我啊 厄尔 |
| [00:57] | I mean, besides your blood pressure. | 除了你的血压往”上”之外 |
| [01:00] | When are you coming back? | 你们什么时候回来 |
| [01:01] | We’re coming back tomorrow night. | 我们明晚回来 |
| [01:03] | Caroline’s about to sign the movie contract, | 卡洛琳马上要签电影的合同了 |
| [01:05] | which means I don’t have to come home UPS Ground. | 所以我不用省钱 陆运邮寄自己回去了 |
| [01:10] | Are you on the phone with the diner? | 你在跟餐厅的人讲电话吗 |
| [01:11] | I feel like I can smell it. | 我感觉都能闻到餐厅的味儿了 |
| [01:14] | I don’t think any of us are gonna make it past tomorrow. | 我觉得我们几个撑不过明天了 |
| [01:17] | Han’s been walking around like he owns the place. | 阿憨最近牛逼得像这里是他地盘一样 |
| [01:19] | I do own the place! | 这里本来就是我的地盘 |
| [01:40] | Boy, Uber drivers do not like to be tickled. | 优步司机很不喜欢被人挠痒痒啊 |
| [01:46] | And speaking of things no one would see coming, | 说到意想不到的事 |
| [01:49] | I used the F-word with Randy. | 我跟兰迪用了F开头的字了 |
| [01:52] | Who wouldn’t see that coming? | 谁会意想不到这事啊 |
| [01:54] | You use the F-word all the time… | 你整天都在用这个字[fuck] |
| [01:57] | usually around children or clergy. | 通常还是在孩子与神职人员面前 |
| [02:00] | No, the F-word as in “Future.” | 不是脏话 是”未来”[future] |
| [02:03] | Max, you made plans for the future? | 麦克斯 你为未来做计划了吗 |
| [02:06] | You won’t even make dinner plans with me. | 你连跟我计划一下晚餐都不愿意 |
| [02:08] | You always say, “Who knows if we’ll still be friends by then?” | 你总是说”我们到时是不是朋友都不一定” |
| [02:11] | Well, you always ask me, like, five hours ahead of time. | 你总是提前了 大概有5小时问我 |
| [02:16] | Max, I’m gonna go ahead and use the C-word. | 麦克斯 我要用那个C打头的字了 |
| [02:19] | I’m calling you and Randy a couple. | 我要称你们俩为”情侣”了 |
| [02:22] | I’m gonna say something, | 我要说件事 |
| [02:24] | and I don’t want it to go to your head. | 但我不想要你兴奋过头 |
| [02:26] | You’re right, bitch. | 你说得没错 小贱人 |
| [02:28] | See, Max, it all worked out, | 你看 麦克斯 一切都圆满 |
| [02:30] | right up until what I’m about to say right now. | 到此时此刻 然后接下来就有坏消息了 |
| [02:33] | We have to take the shuttle to the airport tomorrow, | 我们明天得坐接驳巴士去机场 |
| [02:36] | ’cause we’re still poor for another 27 business days. | 因为我们还得穷27个工作日 |
| [02:39] | Let’s go out in style and get a party bus. | 我们退场要有范儿 租个派对巴士吧 |
| [02:44] | After all these years, we still have | 过了这么多年 你跟我之间 |
| [02:45] | such different concepts of style. | 对于”范儿”的定义还是天差地远 |
| [02:48] | Come on! | 来嘛 |
| [02:49] | With a stripper pole | 车上有钢管 |
| [02:50] | and a Crock-Pot of cocktail weenies. | 还有一锅鸡鸡型香肠 |
| [02:53] | I danced on a party bus for a year, | 我在派对巴士上面当过一年舞女 |
| [02:56] | not for money. | 不是为了赚钱哦 |
| [02:59] | We are not taking a party bus. | 我们才不坐派对巴士 |
| [03:01] | This isn’t your super sweet 16. | 这不是你的什么欢庆16岁派对 |
| [03:04] | I didn’t have a sweet 16. | 我没有欢度过16岁 |
| [03:05] | I was in plumbing school. | 我当时在水管工学校上学 |
| [03:08] | Hey, everybody. | 大家安安 |
| [03:11] | I don’t know what’s going on, | 我不知道是怎么了 |
| [03:12] | but people on the elevator were looking at me funny. | 但电梯里的人都用奇怪眼神看我 |
| [03:16] | Sophie! | 苏菲 |
| [03:17] | What? | 怎么 |
| [03:19] | Do I have spinach in my teeth? | 我牙齿上卡有菜叶吗 |
| [03:21] | Uh, no spinach, but about 25 needles stuck in your face. | 没卡菜 只有大概25根针卡在你脸上 |
| [03:25] | Yeah, they’re helping me get pregnant. | 它们是来帮助我怀孕的 |
| [03:28] | My healer Audra sent me to Mao, | 我那位治疗师让我去找阿毛 |
| [03:31] | the acupuncturist to the stars. | 受明星喜爱的针灸师 |
| [03:34] | Yep, he’s poked more famous people than John Mayer. | 没错 他比多情男星”捅”过的明星还多 |
| [03:40] | Sophie, you’re not supposed to leave with those needles, | 苏菲 你不应该针还没拿掉就离开诊所啊 |
| [03:42] | just like we’re not supposed to leave with these vases. | 就像我们不应该带走这些小瓶子一样 |
| [03:46] | Tell you what, I’m gonna do what I used to do | 这样吧 我要做一件我以前 |
| [03:49] | for my Aunt Becky at the Elks Lodge. | 为我在酒馆里的美女阿姨做过的事 |
| [03:51] | I’m gonna get some pricks out of your face. | 我要为你弄走脸上的针[面前的白痴] |
| [03:56] | Max, do you think Randy invited me to dinner | 麦克斯 你觉得兰迪邀我一起来吃饭 |
| [03:59] | to witness him asking you to be bicoastal? | 是来见证他问你是否愿意异地恋吗 |
| [04:02] | ‘Cause I don’t think this mascara’s waterproof, | 我这个睫毛膏好像不防水 |
| [04:04] | and I’m definitely gonna cry | 而我看到那场面绝对会感动哭 |
| [04:06] | happy and a few jealous tears. | 喜极而泣 外加几滴嫉妒的眼泪 |
| [04:09] | I’m never been bicoastal. | 我从来没有过双岸恋[东西岸] |
| [04:12] | I was bisexual for a week, | 我曾双性恋过一周 |
| [04:13] | but that’s mostly because I was hitchhiking. | 但那基本上是因为我要搭便车 |
| [04:18] | There they are. | 你们到啦 |
| [04:20] | Oh, this is the table where we first met, | 这是我们第一次见面的那桌 |
| [04:22] | and you thought I was a cheap hooker. | 你以为我是个廉价妓女 |
| [04:25] | And you were only half right. | 而当时你只猜对了一半 |
| [04:28] | Here they come, more jealous than I expected. | 我要落泪了 比想象中更嫉妒一点 |
| [04:33] | Let’s celebrate. | 来庆祝吧 |
| [04:34] | It’s a big night for both of you. | 今晚是你们俩的大日子 |
| [04:36] | Caroline, your movie deal closed, | 卡洛琳 你的电影成功签约 |
| [04:37] | and Max, I found your sock. | 而麦克斯 我找到了你的袜子 |
| [04:40] | It was under my refrigerator. | 在我冰箱底发现的 |
| [04:42] | Oh, that makes sense. | 这就说得通了 |
| [04:43] | I was trying to fish an M&M out from under there | 我当时想要用叉子跟我袜子做的鱼竿 |
| [04:45] | with a fishing hook I made with a fork and my sock. | 钓出一颗掉到底下的巧克力豆 |
| [04:48] | I was so excited about getting the M&M | 当时钓出来后我太兴奋 |
| [04:50] | that I abandoned the sock. | 就忘了那袜子了 |
| [04:52] | Max, you know you don’t have to eat candy | 麦克斯 你知道你以后再也不需要 |
| [04:54] | that fell on the floor anymore. | 吃掉到地上的糖了 |
| [04:56] | I still will, but it’s nice to know I don’t have to. | 我还是会 但知道我有选择的余地感觉很棒 |
| [05:00] | Oh, my God, your whole life is changing. | 天啊 你飞上枝头变凤凰了 |
| [05:04] | We’re just waiting for someone else. | 我们再等个人就行了 |
| [05:06] | Oh, no, did you invite a guy for me? | 不是吧 你帮我邀请了男伴吗 |
| [05:08] | I wish I’d known, | 应该早点让我知道 |
| [05:09] | ’cause I only shaved up to the bottom of my dress. | 因为我只刮了裙子以下的腿毛 |
| [05:14] | It’s not a date for you. | 不是给你找的男伴 |
| [05:15] | It’s someone here for me and Max. | 是为我跟麦克斯来的 |
| [05:17] | Wow, I don’t usually bring up threesomes | 我通常都是等在一起一个月 |
| [05:19] | till the one-month mark when things start to go stale. | 房事开始无聊了才会提议3P |
| [05:24] | Oh, definitely wasn’t picturing this guy. | 跟我脑海中幻想的完全不一样 |
| [05:27] | Hello, I’m Elliot Charles. | 你好 我叫艾略特·查尔斯 |
| [05:30] | Okay, two first names, slightly more interesting. | 两个名字 稍微有趣点了 |
| [05:34] | So doing the orgy math here, there’s four of us, | 来算个杂交数学 这里有四个人 |
| [05:38] | and out of the four, Max and I can’t touch naked. | 在这之中 麦克斯和我裸体时不能碰对方 |
| [05:43] | Her rule, not mine. | 她定的规矩 不是我 |
| [05:46] | Oh, I’m not here in a sexual capacity. | 我来这里跟性事并无关系 |
| [05:49] | I’m Randy’s therapist. | 我是兰迪的心理医生 |
| [05:50] | And I guess we should get started. | 我想我们该开始正事了 |
| [05:52] | I do have a 9:00 in the valley. | 我9点在别处还有活儿 |
| [05:54] | A 13-year-old girl is coming out to her vegan parents | 有个13岁的姑娘要跟她吃全素的父母 |
| [05:57] | as meat-curious. | 出柜坦白”对肉有兴趣” |
| [06:02] | Um, what’s happening? | 这是怎么回事 |
| [06:05] | Look, Max… Elliot? | 是这样的 麦克斯 艾略特 |
| [06:08] | Look, Max, | 是这样的 麦克斯 |
| [06:11] | my patient, Randy, | 我的病人 兰迪 |
| [06:13] | is breaking up with you. | 要跟你分手 |
| [06:16] | What? | 什么 |
| [06:18] | Max, I know this sounds abrupt. | 麦克斯 我知道这很突然 |
| [06:21] | Elliot? | 艾略特 |
| [06:23] | Max, in my practice, I developed | 麦克斯 我在行医生涯中发明了 |
| [06:25] | the ripping-the-Band-Aid-off technique. | 快速撕下创口贴大法 |
| [06:27] | You’ll read about it in my book someday, | 有一天你可以在我的书里读到 |
| [06:29] | if I ever finish it, | 前提是我写完 |
| [06:31] | but that’s between me and my therapist. | 但这就是我跟我心理医生之间的事了 |
| [06:33] | He’s not speaking to me right now | 他现在不愿意跟我说话 |
| [06:35] | because of a couch spill. | 因为我把他沙发弄脏了 |
| [06:37] | And I’d be mad as hell about it | 如果不是老子也是心理医生 |
| [06:39] | if I didn’t completely understand it! | 早就因为他不理我火冒三丈了 |
| [06:44] | And now, again, what’s happening? | 再问一句 这到底是演哪出 |
| [06:47] | Because it seems like you’re breaking up with me | 看起来你好像是在通过心理医生 |
| [06:50] | using a therapist. | 来跟我分手啊 |
| [06:52] | It does seem that way. | 看起来的确是这样 |
| [06:54] | Elliot? | 艾略特 |
| [06:56] | He is breaking up with you using a therapist. | 他的确是通过心理医生在跟你分手 |
| [07:00] | Look, Randy? | 听好了 兰迪 |
| [07:04] | Caroline. | 卡洛琳 |
| [07:08] | Look, Elliot, you tell Randy to be a grown-up | 听好了 艾略特 你请兰迪像个爷们点 |
| [07:13] | and break up with her over text. | 用短信跟麦克斯分手好吗 |
| [07:17] | At least send her a “Bye, Felicia” Bitmoji. | 至少发一个”再见 友尽”的表情图吧 |
| [07:22] | – Let’s go. – Max, don’t go like this. | -我们走 -麦克斯 别这么走掉 |
| [07:24] | Elliot, don’t let Max go like this. | 艾略特 别让麦克斯这么走掉 |
| [07:26] | Max, you’re hurt. | 麦克斯 你伤心了 |
| [07:28] | You’re feeling abandoned. | 你觉得被抛弃了 |
| [07:30] | What would be really helpful to you right now | 现在什么最能帮到你呢 |
| [07:33] | is my book, if I can just get one chapter on paper. | 是我的书 如果我能写下一章 |
| [07:37] | I think people would benefit a lot from the book. | 人们都将受用无穷啊 |
| [07:41] | Well, we’re leaving. | 我们要走了 |
| [07:42] | This is shocking, | 真是难以置信 |
| [07:43] | and it’s really hard to shock me | 这年头姐已经很难被吓到了 |
| [07:44] | since that time I saw a mouse | 尤其是上次看到一只老鼠 |
| [07:45] | dry-humping a potato on my couch. | 在我沙发上干操一个土豆之后 |
| [07:50] | You know what? | 听好了 |
| [07:52] | You can keep my sock. | 你留着我的袜子[打飞机]吧 |
| [07:54] | On second thought, I need it. | 但转念一想 还给我把 |
| [07:56] | Max, wait. | 麦克斯 等等 |
| [07:57] | I am just gonna go, because the last time I was this mad, | 我要直接走了 因为上次我这么生气时 |
| [08:00] | someone lost an eyebrow. | 某人失去了一边的眉毛 |
| [08:02] | And it took me a long time | 而那次我花了很久的时间 |
| [08:06] | to grow it back. | 才重新长回来呢 |
| [08:20] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [08:21] | Max, hurry! | 麦克斯 快点 |
| [08:23] | We have to leave now to take Sophie to the healer | 我们得现在离开 才能带苏菲去见治疗师后 |
| [08:25] | and still be at the airport by noon. | 还有足够时间去机场 |
| [08:28] | I brushed your hair when you were passed out. | 你昏过去的时候我帮你梳过头了 |
| [08:31] | I can’t move any faster. | 这是我最快的移动速度了 |
| [08:34] | I think this escalator’s broken. | 这个手扶梯好像坏了 |
| [08:38] | I tried to stop you from drinking bottle number 32, | 我阻止过你喝第32号瓶 |
| [08:41] | which was sriracha. | 因为那是辣椒酱 |
| [08:44] | But you tied me to that chair so well. | 但是你完美把我绑在了那张椅子上 |
| [08:48] | Well, since drinking that hot sauce, | 喝下那瓶辣椒酱后 |
| [08:50] | I’ve been tied to a different chair. | 我也算被”绑”在厕所里的某张”椅子”上了 |
| [08:53] | I have something to make you feel better. | 我有东西能让你开心点 |
| [08:56] | I doubt it. | 我不信 |
| [08:57] | Unless it’s a diaper full of ice. | 除非是一个装满冰块的尿布 |
| [09:02] | It’s not that. I’ll meet you outside. | 不是这个 我们外面见 |
| [09:07] | Okay, okay, remember that party bus | 好了 好了 还记得那个我不想要 |
| [09:12] | I never wanted and you probably don’t want now? | 而你现在估计也不想要的派对巴士吗 |
| [09:16] | – Surprise! – Good timing. | -惊喜 -好时机 |
| [09:19] | I’m feeling suicidal, and I’ve always wanted | 我想自杀 而且还总想要被 |
| [09:21] | to be buried in something like this. | 埋在类似这样的地方 |
| [09:24] | Aw, come on, Max, cheer up. | 来嘛 麦克斯 开心点 |
| [09:27] | You’re getting two poles for the price of one. | 两根钢管只收一根价钱呢 |
| [09:30] | This is the first time a party bus | 这是人生中首次派对巴士 |
| [09:32] | hasn’t fixed every problem I have. | 不能解决我的所有问题呢 |
| [09:35] | Well, you haven’t seen | 那是因为你还没 |
| [09:36] | my “Stars and Stripes Forever” routine. | 看到我的爱国歌曲《星条旗永不落》舞步 |
| [09:57] | Um, Bert, is this rum | 波特 这瓶朗姆酒 |
| [09:59] | supposed to have a cigarette butt in it? | 里面有烟屁股是正常的吗 |
| [10:03] | If you gonna puke, please aim for the floor. | 如果你想要吐 请吐在地板上 |
| [10:05] | I can hose it down. | 我还能用水管冲掉 |
| [10:06] | Otherwise, I’m finding corn in the pleather for months. | 不然我几个月后都能在假皮沙发里找到玉米 |
| [10:10] | Well, if I throw up today, it’s not ’cause I’m having fun. | 如果我今天呕吐了 肯定不是嗨到吐 |
| [10:14] | I’m just happy because, finally, | 我很开心是因为 |
| [10:16] | there’s ladies in the bus not wearing penis helmets. | 车上终于有女人不戴着鸡巴造型帽子了 |
| [10:19] | Nope, they were all out of penises, | 鸡鸡帽都没了 |
| [10:22] | so I had to settle for balls. | 只好将就戴蛋蛋帽 |
| [10:24] | Here, girls. | 给 姑娘们 |
| [10:25] | Nope, I will day drink on a bus, | 我可以接受白天在派对巴士喝酒 |
| [10:27] | but I will not put balls on my head. | 但我接受不了放蛋蛋在我头上 |
| [10:30] | And you wonder why you’re single. | 你还奇怪自己为什么会单身呢 |
| [10:34] | Ugh, there’s that crazy expensive sushi place | 那家贵得离谱的寿司店 |
| [10:37] | where Randy and I ate. | 我和兰迪光顾过 |
| [10:39] | And there’s the taco place we had to eat at afterwards | 那家墨西哥卷饼店 我们后来也有去 |
| [10:41] | ’cause we were still hungry. | 因为寿司吃不饱 |
| [10:43] | Max, please, you have to put Randy behind you. | 麦克斯 拜托 把兰迪抛之脑后吧 |
| [10:46] | And there’s the parking spot where I put Randy behind me. | 在那个停车场里 我把兰迪抛之”身后” |
| [10:50] | Bert, did we sign up for the Hollywood | 伯特 我们参加的是好莱坞 |
| [10:52] | relationship death tour? | 情感终结游吗 |
| [10:54] | If so, I’d like to hit the Affleck-Garner house. | 如果是 我要去参观阿弗莱克和加纳的家 |
| [10:54] | 好莱坞模范夫妻档本·阿弗莱克和詹妮弗·加纳 在结婚十周年当日做出离婚决定 | |
| [10:59] | And right up there is where he lives. | 前面就是他住的地方了 |
| [11:01] | We’d make a right at that super ripped homeless guy, | 在那个肌肉超发达的流浪汉那右转 |
| [11:03] | and in two or three blocks, we’d be at Randy’s house. | 往里走两到三个街区 就是兰迪家了 |
| [11:06] | Oh, no, “We do this,” and “We do that.” | 天啊 “我们做这个” “我们做那个” |
| [11:09] | She’s “We”-ing. | 她沉浸在”我们”的回忆中 |
| [11:11] | As long as nobody wees on the seats, | 只要座位没有被尿液”浸”湿 |
| [11:13] | we’ll be fine. | 我们就万事大吉 |
| [11:15] | Bert, turn off there, up that street. | 伯特 在那里拐弯 顺着那条街直走 |
| [11:17] | No, wait, what are you doing? | 不 等等 你想干什么 |
| [11:18] | You’re getting closure. | 想让你得到解脱 |
| [11:20] | I want him to face you without that lame therapist. | 我要让他亲自面对你 不用那破心理医生代言 |
| [11:22] | Just you and him face-to-testicle. | 就你俩 “面对蛋”交流 |
| [11:26] | Ladies, just how stalker-y are we getting here? | 女士们 咱们要做到哪种程度的跟踪狂 |
| [11:30] | Like a drive around the cul-de-sac? | 是去别墅外的路逛一圈 |
| [11:32] | Or a full-on Demi Moore | 还是像黛米·摩尔做全套 |
| [11:32] | 前者是艾什顿·库彻的前妻 后者是艾什顿·库彻的现任妻子 | |
| [11:33] | outside of Mila Kunis’ yoga class? | 还在米娜·古妮丝练瑜伽的地方外面蹲点 |
| [11:36] | Ooh, there it is. | 到了 |
| [11:37] | Up there on the left. | 前面左边就是了 |
| [11:39] | Yep, there it is. | 没错 就是那 |
| [11:40] | And there he is letting the dog out. | 他也在那 出来遛狗 |
| [11:42] | Oh, and he’s only wearing a towel. | 他全身只围了一块浴巾 |
| [11:46] | Ah, yeah. | 赞啊 |
| [11:48] | Now I get it, Max. | 现在我懂了 麦克斯 |
| [11:50] | Bert, go. This was a bad idea. | 伯特 走吧 这是个馊主意 |
| [11:52] | No, this is a great idea. | 不 这是个好主意 |
| [11:54] | I am not letting you take this bad feeling back to New York. | 我不会让你把难过的情绪带回纽约 |
| [11:57] | Bert, open the door. I’m going out. | 伯特 开门 我要出去 |
| [12:03] | Bert, close the door. Let’s roll. | 伯特 关门 开车走人 |
| [12:12] | I, uh, wanted to put some clothes on, | 我本来想穿上衣服 |
| [12:14] | but Caroline wouldn’t let me. | 但卡洛琳不让 |
| [12:16] | Oh, that’s the smartest thing Caroline’s done since I’ve met her. | 这是我认识卡洛琳以来 她做得最明智的事 |
| [12:21] | Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [12:22] | I’m not here. | 我不在 |
| [12:24] | Max, I can see your balls behind that pillow. | 麦克斯 你的蛋从枕头后面露出来了 |
| [12:28] | I can see your balls behind that– | 我也能看见你的蛋从… |
| [12:30] | Sophie! Come on. | 苏菲 拜托 |
| [12:32] | This is sad. | 难过着呢 |
| [12:34] | Oh, well not from where I’m sitting. | 从我坐的地方望去 并不难过啊 |
| [12:38] | Max, I’m sorry about the way I handled things. | 麦克斯 很抱歉我用这种方式处理事情 |
| [12:40] | I just don’t know how to break things off. | 我只是不知道该如何断绝关系 |
| [12:42] | It’s why I was the lawyer | 所以在亚当·桑德勒 |
| [12:43] | on the last three Adam Sandler movies. | 之前的三部烂片里 我永远都演律师 |
| [12:46] | Why? | 为什么 |
| [12:47] | I just need to know why. | 告诉我为什么 |
| [12:49] | Because I’m too young? I’m too old? | 因为我太年轻 还是太老 |
| [12:52] | Is there someone else? You’re married? You’re gay? | 难道你有别人 你是别人老公还是老婆吗 |
| [12:54] | With a body like that, gay is definitely on the table. | 像这种身材 是基佬一点都不意外 |
| [13:00] | You want the truth? | 你想听真话吗 |
| [13:02] | I like you too much. | 我太喜欢你了 |
| [13:04] | That’s why I didn’t break it off sooner. | 所以我才拖到现在跟你分手 |
| [13:05] | I didn’t want it to end. | 我不舍得结束我们的感情 |
| [13:07] | That’s why you’re breaking up with me? | 这就是你跟我分手的原因吗 |
| [13:09] | Because you like me too much? | 就因为你太喜欢我了吗 |
| [13:12] | At least have another family in Mexico. | 至少也是因为在墨西哥有妻儿了吧 |
| [13:15] | Max, I’ve done the long-distance thing. | 麦克斯 我谈过异地恋 |
| [13:17] | It’s just putting off the inevitable. | 或长或短 最后都是以分手告终 |
| [13:20] | You have a life there. I have a life here. | 你的生活在那里 我的生活在这里 |
| [13:22] | It doesn’t work. | 这行不通 |
| [13:25] | Please don’t hate me. | 请不要恨我 |
| [13:28] | Be easier if I could. | 如果我能 会轻松很多 |
| [13:31] | Yep, here they come. | 我要落泪了 |
| [13:34] | Pardon me? | 打扰了 |
| [13:36] | Are we still firing your housekeeper today? | 今天还要解雇你的管家吗 |
| [13:40] | Oh, nice hat. | 头饰不错 |
| [13:42] | Confirms that theory that women in LA | 印证了一个理论 洛城的女人 |
| [13:44] | are the ones with balls. | 都是有”种”的女人 |
| [13:54] | This is it, girls. | 就是这里了 姑娘们 |
| [13:55] | This is where my healer does all her magic. | 我的治疗师就是在这里施展魔法 |
| [14:00] | Yeah, you know, she must sweat a lot doing it, | 没错 她施法的时候一定出很多汗 |
| [14:02] | ’cause it smells like it looks in here, right? | 因为这房子的味道跟卖相就是那样 对吧 |
| [14:06] | What do you think’s in those jars? | 你说那些罐子里装的都是什么呀 |
| [14:08] | Every fart that’s ever been held in at yoga? | 瑜伽课上每一个忍住不放的屁吗 |
| [14:13] | Are you okay, Max? | 你还好吗 麦克斯 |
| [14:14] | I guess. | 大概吧 |
| [14:15] | I just wish you told me closure | 真希望你能提前告诉我 解脱 |
| [14:16] | feels like someone just slammed my nuts | 就像有人用肌肉车的后尾箱 |
| [14:18] | in the trunk of a Pontiac. | 猛夹老娘的蛋一样疼 |
| [14:21] | Sophie, we have to be at the airport in an hour. | 苏菲 我们一个小时内得赶到机场 |
| [14:24] | Yes, but Audra is my last chance at getting pregnant. | 我知道 但奥德拉是我怀孕的最后机会 |
| [14:27] | She’ll be ready when she’s ready. | 她准备好了 自然会出现 |
| [14:30] | I mean, look around. | 不信看看四周 |
| [14:31] | She’s a professional. | 种种迹象表明她很专业 |
| [14:38] | Have you seen an orange cat? | 你们有看见一只橙色的猫吗 |
| [14:40] | A little depressed, Sagittarius? | 长了一张不高兴的脸 射手座 |
| [14:44] | Wait, Garfield lives here? | 等等 加菲猫住在这里吗 |
| [14:47] | Audra, this is Max and Caroline. | 奥德拉 她们是麦克斯和卡洛琳 |
| [14:49] | You know, I rarely say this to a lady, | 我难得对一个女人这么说 |
| [14:52] | but–oh, put a baby in me. | 但 搞大奴家肚子吧 |
| [14:56] | Absolutely. | 当然好 |
| [15:00] | You think–you don’t–okay. | 你们觉得…你们不…好吧 |
| [15:05] | Go ahead. | 继续说 |
| [15:07] | I’m sorry, I’m just conferring with my spirit guides. | 抱歉 我在跟我的指导灵们交换意见 |
| [15:10] | Well, if you all talk at once, I can’t understand you. | 如果你们同时说话 那我听不清 |
| [15:15] | Got it. | 懂了 |
| [15:20] | They’re telling me that someone here | 他们告诉我 这里的某人 |
| [15:22] | just had their heart broken. | 刚被人伤透了心 |
| [15:24] | It’s you. | 是你 |
| [15:26] | Oh, my God, Max. | 老天 麦克斯 |
| [15:28] | Come closer to me. Come over here. | 离我近点 坐过来 |
| [15:31] | Oh, gosh, thanks a lot. | 真是多谢你 |
| [15:33] | You’re bogarting my witch. | 连我的专用巫女都要抢 |
| [15:37] | These spirits don’t lie. | 这些神灵不会骗人 |
| [15:40] | A little too honest sometimes. | 有时还会过于诚实 |
| [15:42] | I mean, I didn’t ask them if they like my bangs, | 我又没有问过他们对我刘海的看法 |
| [15:45] | but they sure told me. | 可他们却说个不停 |
| [15:48] | It was a whole thing. | 可多罪受了 |
| [15:51] | You don’t need to help me. | 你不用帮我 |
| [15:52] | I’ll get over the Randy thing. | 我会忘掉兰迪的 |
| [15:54] | I’ve been through worse things, | 我遇到过更糟的事情 |
| [15:55] | like this right now. | 比如现在这样 |
| [15:57] | No. | 不 |
| [15:58] | They’re insisting that I help you. | 他们执意要我帮你 |
| [16:00] | Grab me a jar. | 给我拿个罐子过来 |
| [16:02] | That’s where we store the pain… | 我们将痛苦存放进去 |
| [16:05] | and lentils, once you’re healed. | 等了你痊愈之后 我会拿来放扁豆 |
| [16:14] | Great. | 这下可好 |
| [16:16] | No guy, but now I have a middle-aged lesbian lover. | 没男人 可我现在有一个中年女同爱人 |
| [16:35] | All right, it’s out. | 好了 出来了 |
| [16:42] | I thought I was gonna have to move to a bigger jar. | 我原以为会需要一个更大的罐子 |
| [16:46] | You must’ve really liked this guy. | 你一定很喜欢这个男人 |
| [16:49] | He was okay. | 他还不错 |
| [16:51] | Well, he’s crushed. | 他心碎了 |
| [16:53] | He really liked you too. | 他也真的很喜欢你 |
| [16:55] | Never thought a jar could make me feel better | 我以为只有装满花生糖的罐子 |
| [16:57] | that wasn’t filled with peanut brittle. | 会让我感觉好些 没想到空罐子也行 |
| [17:00] | Oh, please, spirits, put a baby in me! | 拜托 神灵 搞大奴家肚子吧 |
| [17:06] | All right, here we go. | 好吧 我们开始吧 |
| [17:09] | Quiet, everybody. | 安静 各位 |
| [17:11] | Let me just close the door. | 让我先把门关上 |
| [17:12] | Okay. | 好了 |
| [17:14] | Oh, wait. | 等等 |
| [17:17] | There’s still some other unrest here. | 这里还有别的东西在骚动 |
| [17:24] | Oh, no, that’s way too big. | 不行 那个太大了 |
| [17:34] | It’s something else. | 是其他东西 |
| [17:40] | Oh, really? | 真的吗 |
| [17:42] | Oh, you’re telling– | 你们是说 |
| [17:44] | Sure, sure. | 当然 当然 |
| [17:48] | Okay. Hold on. | 好的 稍等 |
| [17:51] | I can’t put a baby in you. | 我不能让你怀孕 |
| [17:53] | Sorry, Sophie. | 真可惜 苏菲 |
| [17:55] | You can’t? | 你不能吗 |
| [17:57] | You made me put needles in my eyes. | 你还让我眼睛扎针 |
| [18:02] | Put me on with them. | 让我跟他们对话 |
| [18:04] | Hey, I’m on your side. | 我支持你们 |
| [18:07] | Her bangs are ridiculous. | 她的刘海的确很难看 |
| [18:16] | Hey, Earl, we’re back. | 厄尔 我们回来了 |
| [18:20] | Hi, girls. | 姑娘们 |
| [18:21] | Let me be the first to say welcome back, | 让我第一个说 欢迎回来 |
| [18:23] | and also, my deepest sympathies. | 还有 最诚挚的慰问 |
| [18:26] | How are you, Max? | 你还好吗 麦克斯 |
| [18:28] | I just flew in from LA, | 我刚从洛城飞回来 |
| [18:29] | and boy, are my arms tired | 天啊 我的胳膊累死了 |
| [18:32] | from hitting the person next to me. | 因为我要一直揍坐在我旁边那个人 |
| [18:34] | They would not stop fidgeting. | 那人一直坐立不安 烦死了 |
| [18:36] | I had to pee, and you wouldn’t let me out. | 我得上厕所 你却不让我出去 |
| [18:40] | Max, Caroline, you’re back! | 麦克斯 卡洛琳 你们回来啦 |
| [18:42] | I mean… hello, how are you? | 我是说 别来无恙 |
| [18:46] | Han, did you miss us? | 阿憨 你想我们了吧 |
| [18:49] | Oh, please, I miss you like | 拜托 我想你们就像 |
| [18:51] | America misses RadioShack. | 美国想念某过气电器连锁店 |
| [18:55] | Surprisingly, it left a hole. | 意外的是 它在我们心中留下了个洞 |
| [18:58] | I saw you leave a hole once… | 我以前见过你留下一个洞 |
| [19:01] | on Groundhog Day. | 在土拨鼠日那天 |
| [19:01] | 每年的2月2日是美国传统的土拨鼠日 在这一天冬眠的土拨鼠要醒过来 从洞里出来预测春天 | |
| [19:04] | Max, Caroline, where’s Sophie? | 麦克斯 卡洛琳 苏菲在哪儿 |
| [19:07] | I missed her so much. | 我好想她 |
| [19:08] | You know what they say: | 知道有句歌词怎么唱吗 |
| [19:09] | absence makes | “你不在 |
| [19:11] | me have to masturbate almost constantly. | 当我最需要爱 唯有自慰到死” |
| [19:14] | So what did the healer say? | 治疗师怎么说 |
| [19:17] | We’ll let her tell you. | 我们让她自己告诉你吧 |
| [19:19] | Hey, everybody! | 大家安安 |
| [19:23] | I’m back from California. | 我从加州回来啦 |
| [19:25] | I hope I didn’t, like, | 希望我没有 |
| [19:27] | totally pick up an accent, dude. | 被他们的口音带歪 伙计 |
| [19:31] | Oh, I was worried Jeremy Renner | 我好担心杰瑞米·雷纳 |
| [19:34] | would make you the last thing he’d ever be in. | 会让你成为他此生”进”过的最后一扇”门” |
| [19:39] | And I was worried you’d say something exactly like that. | 而我担心的就是你会说这样的话 |
| [19:43] | Well, I’ll be in my booth. | 我去我的卡座啦 |
| [19:46] | So what did the healer say? | 治疗师到底怎么说 |
| [19:50] | How soon can we get a baby in you? | 你多快能怀上孩子 |
| [19:53] | Oh, well, the truth is, Oleg, | 事实上 奥列格 |
| [19:59] | the healer said that she wouldn’t be able | 治疗师说她不能 |
| [20:01] | to help me get pregnant. | 帮我怀孕 |
| [20:04] | Oh, Sophie. Why not? | 苏菲 为什么不能 |
| [20:07] | Well, the reason | 造成我 |
| [20:10] | that I can’t get pregnant is… | 不能怀孕的原因是 |
| [20:15] | I’m already pregnant! | 我已经怀孕啦 |
| [20:20] | Yeah! | 真的 |
| [20:22] | I’m gonna be a father? | 我要当爸爸了 |
| [20:24] | Yes, I’m three months along. | 对 我已经怀孕三个月了 |
| [20:26] | Yeah, no, that’s the last time | 就是 以后再也不从船上 |
| [20:28] | I’ll buy a pregnancy test off a boat. | 买走私货验孕棒了 |
| [20:32] | Well, let’s bust out the very cheap, | 让我们开了这瓶超便宜的 |
| [20:34] | non-alcoholic champagne. | 无酒精香槟吧 |
| [20:36] | Non-alcoholic? | 无酒精 |
| [20:38] | Yeah, Sophie can’t drink when she’s pregnant. | 对啊 苏菲怀孕了不能喝酒 |
| [20:41] | Oh, all right. | 好吧 |
| [20:42] | Well, then, the five martinis that I had on the plane | 那好吧 在飞机上那五杯马天尼酒 |
| [20:45] | were my last. | 是我最后一次碰酒了 |