| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Listen up. | 听好了 |
| [00:03] | Max and Caroline are at a big Hollywood premiere. | 麦克斯与卡洛琳在参加一个盛大的好莱坞首映 |
| [00:06] | They say Harrison Ford is there. | 她们说哈里森·福特也在 |
| [00:09] | Tell Han Solo, “Hello from Han.” | 告诉韩·索罗”憨[韩]跟他问好” |
| [00:12] | Who always does it solo. | 永远自撸的”汉” |
| [00:16] | Yeah, this place is crawling with celebs. | 这里全都是名人 |
| [00:18] | Everyone’s here. | 大伙都在呢 |
| [00:19] | Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, Amy Schumer’s sister. | 马特·戴蒙 凯特·布兰切特 艾米·舒默的妹妹 |
| [00:24] | If you see Burt Reynolds, tell him I have his belt. | 如果见到毕·雷诺斯 跟他说他皮带在我这 |
| [00:28] | Snap some boob pics. | 拍几张奶照 |
| [00:30] | Some A-list D’s or some B-list C’s. | 拍些一线的D奶 或者二线的C奶 |
| [00:34] | I can’t. My phone’s dead. | 没办法 我的手机没电了 |
| [00:36] | But you’re on your phone. | 但你现在就在用它打电话啊 |
| [00:39] | Big ruckus here. | 这里一团乱呢 |
| [00:41] | Matt Damon just threw a puff pastry at Don Cheadle. | 马特·戴蒙刚往唐·钱德尔身上丢了千层饼 |
| [00:45] | How bout we FaceTime? | 我们视频通话如何 |
| [00:48] | Can’t. No reception. | 没办法 没信号 |
| [00:49] | But we’re talking to you right now. | 但我们不是还说着电话吗 |
| [00:52] | Well, I gotta go. | 我得走了 |
| [00:54] | Julia Roberts wants to split an UberX. | 茱莉亚·罗伯茨想共乘一台便宜出租车 |
| [00:58] | I feel bad lying to Han. | 骗阿憨好过意不去 |
| [00:59] | I mean, he’s already been catfished three times this year. | 他今年已经被网上用假身份的人骗三次了 |
| [01:03] | To be fair, two of those times were me. | 不怪他 其中两次是我 |
| [01:07] | And we’re not really lying. | 我们也不算骗人啊 |
| [01:08] | We could have gone to that Hollywood party if we wanted to. | 如果我们想 也是能去好莱坞派对的啊 |
| [01:11] | And had been invited. | 前提是被邀请了 |
| [01:13] | And hadn’t been kicked out by security. | 而且还没被保安给踢出来的话 |
| [01:16] | We’re still on the line. | 电话还没挂断呢 |
| [01:20] | We can never go back there. | 我们不能回去那里了 |
| [01:43] | So nice of your new man | 你的新男人真好 |
| [01:45] | to send us a pressed juice basket. | 送我们冷压果汁篮 |
| [01:47] | So LA. | 好洛城风啊 |
| [01:50] | So gross! | 好难喝啊 |
| [01:53] | I love them. They’re disgusting. | 我爱死它们了 它们够恶心 |
| [01:56] | This one’s like licking a beet’s undercarriage. | 这瓶感觉像舔甜菜根的起落架 |
| [02:00] | Still, it was really thoughtful of Randy. | 但兰迪的心意还是很感人 |
| [02:03] | He must really like you, | 他一定很喜欢你 |
| [02:05] | and really want you to stay regular. | 也很希望你能保持标准身材 |
| [02:08] | Yeah, someone really buried the lead | 是啊 走了那么多弯路 |
| [02:09] | on this whole being treated well thing, | 终于走上了被人好好对待的康庄大道了 |
| [02:12] | and I miss him. | 我已经想他了 |
| [02:14] | You saw him 30 minutes ago. | 你们30分钟前才见 |
| [02:16] | Feels like 35. | 感觉像35分钟了 |
| [02:19] | What is that about? Do I have shingles? | 这是怎么回事 我得性病了吗 |
| [02:24] | Oh, my God. I just got an e-mail. | 天啊 我刚收到一封电邮 |
| [02:26] | The world’s most in-demand actress is on her way over | 全球最炙手可热的女演员正在来的路上 |
| [02:30] | to talk about playing me in the movie of my life. | 要来谈在我人生的电影中出演我 |
| [02:32] | Betty White’s coming here? | 贝蒂·怀特要来啦 |
| [02:36] | It’s Jennifer Lawrence! | 是詹妮弗·劳伦斯 |
| [02:38] | Amy Schumer’s sister’s best friend. | 艾米·舒默的妹妹的死党 |
| [02:42] | The studio just set it up. | 制片方他们刚安排好 |
| [02:43] | She wants to meet me to see if she digs my vibe. | 她想见我看看喜不喜欢我的范儿 |
| [02:47] | Oh, wish I had my vibe. | 我也希望我的电动范儿[棒]在 |
| [02:49] | They wouldn’t let me bring it on the plane. | 他们不让我把它带上飞机 |
| [02:52] | What was I gonna do? | 我能拿它做啥坏事啊 |
| [02:53] | Terrorize everyone with pleasure? | 用高潮恐吓飞机上的人吗 |
| [02:58] | Oh, I better go brush my teeth. | 我最好去刷个牙 |
| [03:00] | I don’t want Jennifer Lawrence to think | 我可不想詹妮弗·劳伦斯觉得 |
| [03:01] | I licked a cantaloupe’s armpit. | 我舔了哈密瓜的腋下 |
| [03:04] | The star of “The Hunger Games” is coming here? | 《饥饿游戏》的女主角要来这里吗 |
| [03:07] | We will have lots in common. | 我跟她会有很多共同点 |
| [03:08] | I mean, I’ve killed kids for food. | 比如 我也为了食物杀过小孩 |
| [03:12] | Hey, everybody. | 大家安安 |
| [03:16] | Does anyone know how to shut off the fire alarm in the elevator? | 有人知道怎么关掉电梯里的火灾警报器吗 |
| [03:21] | ‘Cause this sage is really popping off. | 这个鼠尾草烧得可旺了 |
| [03:24] | Hey, puff puff pass. | 有麻烟要分享啊 |
| [03:27] | Ah, you don’t smoke it. | 这个不是拿来抽的 |
| [03:29] | No, it cleans your aura or some crap like that. | 这是拿来净化你的灵气 或其他鬼东西的 |
| [03:33] | Well, that sounds spiritual. | 感觉好精神化啊 |
| [03:35] | Oh, you know, my healer says | 我的治疗师说 |
| [03:38] | the reason that I haven’t been able to get pregnant | 我至今还没怀孕的原因是因为 |
| [03:40] | is that my aura is filthier | 我的灵气 |
| [03:43] | than my gynecologist’s Instagram. | 比我妇产科医生的图片分享网还肮脏 |
| [03:48] | But I did get a lot of likes. | 但他发的我那张 很多人点赞啊 |
| [03:52] | Ugh, Sophie, | 苏菲 |
| [03:53] | I’m getting second hand hippie. | 我闻到了二手嬉皮烟 |
| [03:56] | Sophie, I have got to get this out of here | 苏菲 我得把这玩意弄出去 |
| [03:58] | or Jennifer Lawrence will think this is my vibe. | 不然詹妮弗·劳伦斯会以为这是我的范儿 |
| [04:01] | I’m going for Grace Kelly not Woody Harrelson. | 我想走优雅脱俗 而不是逗比男星路线 |
| [04:04] | Well, that’s a mistake. | 你这是犯了大错 |
| [04:07] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [04:08] | My healer, Audra, gave me a whole list of things | 我的治疗师 奥德拉 给了我一堆任务 |
| [04:11] | that I need to do in order to get pregnant. | 我想怀孕必须得照做 |
| [04:13] | Is one of them, “Have sex the front way”? | 其中一条是”从正面上前洞洞吗” |
| [04:17] | Yeah, also, “Eat apples, meditate, | 还有”吃苹果 冥想 |
| [04:21] | cut down on cigars.” | 雪茄减量” |
| [04:24] | She also said that I have to practice | 她还说我要练习 |
| [04:26] | loving kindness with everyone. | 对大家有爱包容 |
| [04:30] | Even the people who trigger my negativity. | 对那些惹我不快的人也要如此 |
| [04:33] | Yeah, but you know what? | 不过呢 |
| [04:35] | I’m as sweet as the sugar substitute | 我这个人甜得就像那 |
| [04:38] | that gave half my family cancer, yeah. | 给了我半个家族癌症的代糖 |
| [04:41] | You’re maybe not always | 其实你不是永远都 |
| [04:43] | sweet as sugar substitute to everyone. | 对别人如那代糖一般甜 |
| [04:47] | I’m not? | 我没有吗 |
| [04:49] | Well, here comes this idiot. | 这傻逼又来了 |
| [04:53] | You know what? | 这样吧 |
| [04:54] | I’m gonna be real nice to you so that I can have a baby. | 我会对你加倍好 这样我才能怀宝宝 |
| [04:58] | So I don’t care what kind of crap comes out | 所以我不再也不管你的傻逼嘴里 |
| [05:01] | of your stupid pie hole. | 又冒出什么二逼话 |
| [05:03] | Oh, my God, I’m a monster. | 天啊 我简直坏死了 |
| [05:09] | Oh, my God, do you think that’s Jennifer Lawrence? | 天啊 你觉得会是詹妮弗·劳伦斯吗 |
| [05:12] | That was fast. What a star. | 真有效率 好有明星风范 |
| [05:14] | Prompt and she costs less than a man. | 准时而且上门还比叫鸭便宜 |
| [05:17] | Or maybe it’s Randy. It’s been a whole 38 minutes. | 也可能是兰迪 我跟他分开足足38分钟了 |
| [05:23] | 39. | 39分钟了 |
| [05:26] | Aww, that’s making me horny. | 这都让我”性”致盎然了 |
| [05:29] | Yeah, and that’s not on my list. | 可惜这不在我的任务名单上 |
| [05:32] | I came over to tell you I can’t stay the night tonight. | 我过来是告诉你今晚我不能过夜了 |
| [05:35] | I gotta go to Miami. | 我得去一趟迈阿密 |
| [05:36] | My client’s causing trouble on the new Johnny Depp movie. | 我的委托人在大闹约翰尼·德普的新片 |
| [05:39] | My client’s Johnny Depp. | 我的委托人就是约翰尼·德普 |
| [05:41] | Is it another “pirates” movie? | 又是另一部”海盗”电影吗 |
| [05:43] | ‘Cause I’m only four hours into the last one. | 因为他上次那集我”才看”了四小时呢 |
| [05:48] | Caroline Channing’s office. | 卡洛琳·钱宁的办公室 |
| [05:50] | This is her assistant Tiesha. Please hold. | 我是她的助理泰伊莎 请稍等 |
| [05:52] | I gave myself an assistant ’cause I deserve one. | 给了我自己一个助理 因为我值得拥有 |
| [05:55] | Oh, yeah, there it is. | 看 就是这样 |
| [05:58] | Oh, my God, I’m getting triggered. | 天啊 我又要被惹毛了 |
| [06:03] | Oh, man. | 糟糕 |
| [06:05] | My dog sitter just quit. | 我的狗保姆刚辞职了 |
| [06:07] | She married Eddie Murphy. | 她嫁给埃迪·墨菲了 |
| [06:11] | Now I don’t have anybody to watch Bruno. | 现在没人帮我照顾布鲁诺了 |
| [06:13] | Oh, I can watch Bruno. | 我能帮你照顾他啊 |
| [06:14] | Would you want to stay with him at my place? | 那你想去我家跟他待着吗 |
| [06:17] | At your beautiful house in the hills | 到你在富人区的那间 |
| [06:19] | with an amazing view of the Hollywood sign? | 能看见好莱坞地标的漂亮房子里吗 |
| [06:21] | Ugh, fine, but only ’cause I really want to. | 行吧 是看在我超超想去的份上 |
| [06:25] | Okay, so unfortch J Law got swarmed by the paps | 真不巧 大表姐被狗仔包 |
| [06:28] | so she has to resche. | 只能改时间了啦 |
| [06:29] | Oh, boy. | 天啊 |
| [06:31] | I picked the wrong week to quit smoking cigars. | 我真是选错时间戒雪茄了 |
| [06:41] | Randy, that view is so amazing. | 兰迪 这风景真是太赞了 |
| [06:44] | We’re so close I can see the “Ho” Of the Hollywood sign. | 这里近到”好莱坞”三个大字只看得到”好”了 |
| [06:47] | And I bet it’s saying, | 我敢打赌上面是写着 |
| [06:48] | “I can see the ho of Williamsburg.” | 我能看到威廉斯堡的”好”骚货 |
| [06:52] | Wow, this place is gorgeous. | 这地方真是太美了 |
| [06:54] | The last guy Max dated had a mattress on the floor | 麦克斯上一个约会的男的 床垫都是在地上 |
| [06:57] | and a lady named Sheila living in the crawl space. | 还有个叫谢拉的女人住在地窖 |
| [07:00] | Caroline, are you trying to make me jealous? | 卡洛琳 你是想让我嫉妒她前男友吗 |
| [07:04] | Oh, you have nothing to worry about. | 你没啥好担心的 |
| [07:05] | There’s no way that guy’s still alive. | 那男的绝对不可能还活着 |
| [07:09] | Look, the next 24 hours, | 接下来的24小时 |
| [07:10] | just treat this place like it’s yours. | 就把这里当做自己家 |
| [07:12] | Don’t worry, I will take really good care of Bruno. | 放心 我会好好照顾布鲁诺 |
| [07:15] | I’ll let him sleep right in the hills. | 我会让他睡在我的双峰之间 |
| [07:18] | I haven’t been this jealous of my dog | 上次这么嫉妒我的狗时 |
| [07:19] | since I saw him licking his own balls every day. | 是我看到他每天都能给自己舔蛋蛋 |
| [07:23] | Randy, would you say it’s private up here? | 兰迪 这里够私密清幽吗 |
| [07:26] | Like private enough to have a meeting with a celebrity | 够私密到足以跟明星开会 |
| [07:28] | who I’m not at will to name, | 一位我不会说出名字 |
| [07:29] | but it’s Jennifer Lawrence. | 但是是詹妮弗·劳伦斯 |
| [07:31] | Yeah, it’s really quiet up here. | 这里很清幽 |
| [07:33] | Just one neighbor up the hill. | 也就坡上有个邻居 |
| [07:34] | Old guy. Rocks the hell out of a stained sweat suit. | 一个老家伙 穿脏兮兮的运动服有型到炸 |
| [07:37] | We get along great. | 我们处得挺好 |
| [07:38] | We’ve never spoken. | 我们从没说过话 |
| [07:40] | I can’t get a signal. What’s your Wi-Fi password? | 我收不到信号 你的无线网密码是什么 |
| [07:43] | 1, 2, 5, lowercase B, | 1 2 5 小写b |
| [07:45] | uppercase D, dash, dash, 6, 3, | 大写D 破折号 破折号 6 3 |
| [07:47] | lowercase F, uppercase F, 5, 2, 1. | 小写f 大写F 5 2 1 |
| [07:52] | Or you can get some reception outside. | 或者你去外面就能收到信号 |
| [07:55] | All right, I gotta go. | 好了 我得走了 |
| [07:58] | Come here, big boy. | 过来 乖狗狗 |
| [07:59] | Who’s Daddy’s big boy? Yes. | 谁是爸爸的乖狗狗 乖 |
| [08:02] | That call works on me too, FYI. | 这招对我也管用喔 |
| [08:05] | Come here, big boy. | 过来 乖狗狗 |
| [08:12] | Caroline, where’s the best reception? | 卡洛琳 哪里信号最好 |
| [08:14] | Down this hill behind the hedge… | 坡下 靠近篱笆 |
| [08:16] | Oh, is that a snake? | 那是蛇吗 |
| [08:18] | Ooh, getting some bars on this table. | 在这张桌上我也收到了点信号 |
| [08:20] | I’m gonna call the diner. | 我要打给餐厅 |
| [08:27] | Hey, Max, how’s my girl? | 麦克斯 我的乖闺女 |
| [08:30] | Are you rich, famous, and driving a Prius yet? | 你有钱 出名 开始开混合动力车了吗 |
| [08:33] | Earl, you would not believe where we are. | 厄尔 你绝对想不到我们现在在哪 |
| [08:36] | I am looking down on all of LA. | 我正俯视着整个洛城 |
| [08:39] | Oh, I’m doing that from here. | 我在这也是”俯视”整个洛城 |
| [08:42] | Ask Max if she talked to Sophie. | 问问麦克斯有没有跟苏菲联系 |
| [08:45] | I didn’t get an up the skirt selfie this morning | 我今早没有收到她发给我裙内风光照 |
| [08:47] | and I’m worried. | 我开始担心她了 |
| [08:50] | I got it by accident. | 我意外收到了那图 |
| [08:54] | And I’m hoping talking about it | 而我也希望谈论这事 |
| [08:56] | will somehow free me from it. | 能让我从这梦魇中解脱 |
| [08:59] | Can you forward it to me? | 能转发给我吗 |
| [09:01] | You know what? Just take my phone. | 我的手机直接送你吧 |
| [09:03] | I’ll buy a new one. | 我去买个新的 |
| [09:13] | Stop…blowing. | 别 吹了 |
| [09:15] | Stop blowing. | 别 吹了 |
| [09:17] | Blowing… | 吹… |
| [09:19] | Thank you! | 谢谢 |
| [09:21] | So how would you rate the LA blow job | 您会怎么给洛城的”吹”活儿 |
| [09:23] | compared to the ones in New York? | 跟纽约的”吹活儿”[口交]打分呢 |
| [09:26] | This one was less work. | 这个不用我出嘴出力 |
| [09:34] | When Jennifer Lawrence gets here to interview me, | 当詹妮弗·劳伦斯来这里面试我时 |
| [09:37] | just know, I’m also kind of interviewing her. | 其实我也算是在面试她 |
| [09:39] | I mean, I know she has my looks, | 我知道她跟我们颜值相近 |
| [09:41] | but does she have my naivete? | 但她能像我如纯净水般咩 |
| [09:44] | Is that French for “small boobs”? | 那个是法语”小平胸”的意思吗 |
| [09:48] | Max, I know I said this at the airport Arby’s, | 麦克斯 这话我曾在机场的快餐店说过 |
| [09:51] | but I could totally see you living here. | 但我真的能预见你住在这里的画面 |
| [09:54] | Thanks, girl. | 多谢 妹子 |
| [09:55] | I could totally see you visiting us. | 我也能预见你来拜访我们的画面 |
| [09:59] | And look at this TV from the future. | 瞧瞧这台来自未来的电视 |
| [10:03] | Where are the cords? | 一根多余的电线都没有 |
| [10:06] | And watch this. Television… | 看这个 电视机 |
| [10:08] | give me Samuel L. Jackson. | 给我搜塞缪尔·杰克逊 |
| [10:10] | Finding Samuel L. Jackson. | 正在寻找塞缪尔·杰克逊 |
| [10:14] | Wow, he’s in every movie. | 哇 他演的电影真多 |
| [10:17] | He’s like the black Kevin Bacon. | 他就像黑人版的凯文·贝肯 |
| [10:20] | Dude, can you believe my life? | 妹子 你能想象我的人生吗 |
| [10:23] | And you saw that pool out there. | 你也看见外面的泳池了 |
| [10:24] | You don’t even have to blow it up. | 不是需要吹的儿童泳池呢 |
| [10:27] | Let’s go look at it again. | 我们再出去看看吧 |
| [10:32] | Excuse me, Antonio? Could you water that cactus? | 安东尼奥 你能给仙人掌浇浇水吗 |
| [10:34] | It’s looking a little dry. | 它看起来有点干 |
| [10:36] | That didn’t sound rude to the help, did it? | 那样对佣人说话不会很无礼吧 |
| [10:38] | I don’t want to be that person. | 我可不想成为那种人 |
| [10:39] | Meaning you. | 就是你这种 |
| [10:41] | Okay, Jennifer Lawrence will be here any minute, | 好了 詹妮弗·劳伦斯随时会来 |
| [10:43] | and, Max, I have to say, | 麦克斯 我不得不说 |
| [10:45] | I’m having the best hair day ever. | 今天是我史上头发最漂漂的一天 |
| [10:48] | I was having the best hair day ever. | 今天曾是我史上头发最漂漂的一天 |
| [10:52] | Dude, Jennifer Lawrence took a helicopter here. | 詹妮弗·劳伦斯居然坐直升飞机来这里 |
| [10:55] | That is so baller. | 真是好会摆谱啊 |
| [10:57] | No, it’s probably the paparazzi following her. | 不 那可能是跟她的狗仔队 |
| [11:00] | Leave us be! We’re just trying to live! | 放过我们吧 我们只想讨生活 |
| [11:04] | This is the police! | 我们是警察 |
| [11:05] | There is a dangerous criminal in the area. | 这一区有一个危险的罪犯 |
| [11:08] | We are hunting for Walter·Gary·Vance. | 我们在追捕沃尔特·加里·万斯 |
| [11:10] | Everyone, go inside. | 大家快进屋 |
| [11:12] | This entire area is on lockdown. | 整片区域已经被封锁 |
| [11:16] | No one will be allowed to pass the roadblock. | 任何人不许越过路障 |
| [11:19] | What’re you doing? | 你在干嘛 |
| [11:20] | Uh, there’s a serial killer on the loose. | 有一个连环杀手在逃 |
| [11:22] | I’m doing what all heroes do. | 我在做每一位英雄都会做的事 |
| [11:24] | I’m going on Twitter to add to the chatter. | 我要上推特当键盘侠啊 |
| [11:26] | Okay, I’m running to my cactus to call J Law’s people | 我要跑去我那颗仙人掌那 给大表姐的人打电话 |
| [11:29] | and make sure she doesn’t come out here. | 确保她不会过来这边 |
| [11:31] | Stop! | 站住 |
| [11:32] | Don’t go out there. | 别去那里 |
| [11:33] | According to Twitter, | 推特上说 |
| [11:34] | the murder is a cannibal, | 那凶手会吃人肉 |
| [11:36] | and also according to Twitter, | 推特上还说 |
| [11:38] | Khloe Kardashian is feeling the burn. | 科勒·卡戴珊在燃烧脂肪 |
| [11:41] | Oh, my God, a cannibal? | 我的老天 吃人肉啊 |
| [11:43] | We have to get inside. | 我们必须得进去 |
| [11:44] | I have this terrible feeling I’m delicious. | 我有种不祥的预感 我很美味 |
| [11:50] | So, here we are. | 我们进来了 |
| [11:52] | Safe inside | 里面很”安全” |
| [11:53] | in a house made of glass | 房子是玻璃做的 |
| [11:56] | on stilts | 我们踩着高跟鞋 |
| [11:57] | in a city long overdue for an earthquake. | 走在一个早该地震的城市 |
| [12:06] | We thought you were a crazy murderer. | 我们还以为你是疯狂杀人犯呢 |
| [12:08] | I’m not crazy, but I could just | 我不疯狂 但我现在能 |
| [12:10] | murder a cheese plate right now. | “杀”掉一盘奶酪 |
| [12:15] | The hills are so exclusive. | 这山上真是太私密了 |
| [12:19] | I mean, it’s all blocked off. | 整片区域都被封锁了 |
| [12:21] | I haven’t jumped this many hurdles | 我好久没跨过这么多路障了 |
| [12:23] | since the ’84 Olympics. | 上一次还是84年的奥运会 |
| [12:26] | Sophie, what’re you doing here? | 苏菲 你来干嘛 |
| [12:28] | Jennifer Lawrence’s people were trying to reach you, | 詹妮弗·劳伦斯的人在找你 |
| [12:30] | so they called the hotel, | 于是他们给酒店打电话 |
| [12:32] | and to show you some love and kindness, | 为了向你表示爱意与善意 |
| [12:34] | I came all the way here to tell you. | 我大老远跑来告诉你 |
| [12:37] | Yeah. Do you think that will get me a baby? | 没错 你觉得这能让我怀上孩子吗 |
| [12:41] | Not sure, but you can get a baby for 80 bucks on the dark web. | 不确定 但你花80块就能在暗网上搞个孩子 |
| [12:47] | And it comes with two outfits. | 而且还附送两套衣服哦 |
| [12:50] | What did Jennifer’s people say? | 詹妮弗的人说了什么 |
| [12:52] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [12:57] | So, you just came up here to tell me that they called, | 所以你跑过来告诉我 他们打电话找我 |
| [13:00] | but you didn’t, like, listen to the words? | 但你却没有听他们说了什么 |
| [13:03] | Oh, it’s never enough for you, is it? | 你这人就是永远不知足 对吗 |
| [13:16] | Ohm getting tired of meditating, | 我厌倦了冥想 |
| [13:20] | but I think it’s working. | 但我觉得起作用了 |
| [13:26] | Jennifer Lawrence is probably freaking out | 詹妮弗·劳伦斯估计急死了吧 |
| [13:28] | that she can’t get to me. | 到处都找不到我 |
| [13:30] | The world doesn’t revolve around you, bitch. | 世界又不是光绕着你一个人转 贱人 |
| [13:36] | I can’t just stand here anymore. | 我不能再在这里干站着了 |
| [13:37] | I’m going outside to get a signal. | 我要出去接收手机信号 |
| [13:39] | You know what else you can get outside? | 你知道你还会在外面”接受”什么事情吗 |
| [13:40] | Ya face eaten. | 脸被吃掉 |
| [13:43] | Well, I’m gonna go risk the life I have | 我要冒险用我自己的生命 |
| [13:45] | to go get the life I want. | 换来我想要的生活 |
| [13:46] | Sounds like a trailer for a Liam Neeson movie. | 听起来像是连姆·尼森的电影 |
| [13:50] | Finding Liam Neeson. | 正在寻找连姆·尼森 |
| [13:53] | Good luck. | 祝你好运 |
| [13:54] | That guy’s been taken more times than my virginities. | 那家伙肉身被人劫持的次数 比我的处女身还多 |
| [13:59] | All right, I got a signal | 好了 我收到信号了 |
| [14:01] | and a warning growl from a coyote, | 还收到一只土狼的警告嚎叫 |
| [14:03] | but I talked to Jennifer Lawrence’s people, | 但我跟詹妮弗·劳伦斯的人谈过了 |
| [14:05] | and she and I are gonna FaceTime in 20 minutes. | 我和她20分钟后会进行视频通话 |
| [14:07] | If you still have a face. | 如果你的脸还没被吃掉的话 |
| [14:10] | Where’s Bruno? | 布鲁诺去哪儿了 |
| [14:11] | Maybe he’s back there in the sauna | 可能他在后面的桑拿房 |
| [14:12] | like a little hotdog. | 当一条小”热狗” |
| [14:15] | Where’s my big boy? | 我的乖狗狗在哪儿 |
| [14:17] | Um, seriously, where’s my big boy? | 说真的 我的乖狗狗在哪儿 |
| [14:20] | You didn’t leave the door open, did you? | 你不会刚才没关门吧 |
| [14:22] | No. | 没有 |
| [14:25] | I’m sure he’s in here somewhere. | 我敢保证他在屋里的某处 |
| [14:26] | Bruno? Bruno? | 布鲁诺 布鲁诺 |
| [14:29] | Bruno? | 布鲁诺 |
| [14:30] | Bruno? | 布鲁诺 |
| [14:32] | Finding “Bruno.” | 正在寻找”布鲁诺” |
| [14:37] | Max, I’m really sorry. | 麦克斯 真的很抱歉 |
| [14:39] | Maybe we could replace the dog | 或许我们用一只 |
| [14:41] | with one that looks exactly the same. | 外表一模一样的狗来代替它 |
| [14:43] | Like men here do with wives. | 就跟这里的男人换老婆一样 |
| [14:46] | Or maybe we don’t assume he’s dead after six seconds | 或者我们先别假设他死了 |
| [14:48] | and we go out there and find him. | 一起出去找他 |
| [14:50] | Okay, good luck. | 好的 祝你好运 |
| [14:52] | You are coming with me. | 你得跟我一起去 |
| [14:54] | Randy loves Bruno, | 兰迪爱布鲁诺 |
| [14:55] | and I lo-uh-ike Randy. | 而我爱…喜欢兰迪 |
| [14:59] | Don’t think I didn’t hear what you almost said. | 别以为我没听见你差点说出口的那句话 |
| [15:01] | – We need to find the dog. – But it’s getting dark | -我们得找到那只狗 -可天越来越黑了 |
| [15:04] | and there’s someone out there who wants to kill us. | 外面还有人想要杀掉我们 |
| [15:06] | Trust me, there’s someone in there who wants to kill you. | 相信我 里面也有人想要杀掉你 |
| [15:09] | Flashlights. We need flashlights. | 手电 我们需要手电 |
| [15:11] | You lo-uh-ike him. | 你爱…喜欢他 |
| [15:15] | Now there are two people in here who want to kill you. | 现在这里有两个人想杀掉你 |
| [15:23] | Come here, big boy. | 快出来 乖狗狗 |
| [15:25] | God, how could he have gotten this far on such little legs? | 天啊 他腿这么短怎么能跑这么远 |
| [15:28] | I don’t know, Danny DeVito seems to get around a lot. | 我不知道 丹尼·德·维托貌似也爱到处跑 |
| [15:32] | Even when you tell Randy this is 100% your fault, | 即使你告诉兰迪这全是你的错 |
| [15:35] | he is still gonna break up with me. | 他还是会跟我分手 |
| [15:37] | Max, you’ve been with him four days. | 麦克斯 你才跟他在一起四天 |
| [15:39] | I know, it’s my longest relationship. | 我知道 这是我时间最长的恋爱 |
| [15:41] | I’m really sorry, Max. We’ll find him. | 真的很抱歉 麦克斯 我们会找到他的 |
| [15:45] | Oh, my God! | 老天 |
| [15:46] | – What, you see Bruno? – No, I see bars on my phone. | -你看见布鲁诺了吗 -不 我手机有信号了 |
| [15:49] | We have to stay right here. | 我们得待在这里别动 |
| [15:50] | It’s almost time for my FaceTime. | 我视频的时间快到了 |
| [15:52] | Give me that stupid thing. | 把那该死的手机给我 |
| [15:53] | I’ll put it down my pants. | 我要收进我的裤子里 |
| [15:55] | And I’ll go get it. | 那我就伸手去掏 |
| [15:59] | You gotta focus | 你得专心 |
| [16:01] | and help me find that dog. | 帮我找到那条狗 |
| [16:02] | I don’t want to ruin things with Randy | 我不想搞砸和兰迪的关系 失去他 |
| [16:04] | or his house. | 或失去他的房子 |
| [16:05] | Max, this is so far past boundaries. | 麦克斯 这太过界了 |
| [16:08] | Oh, don’t talk to me about boundaries. | 别跟我说什么界限 |
| [16:10] | Who let the dog out? Who? | 是谁把狗放出去的 谁 |
| [16:12] | Who-who-who-who? | 谁 谁 谁[有同词歌曲] |
| [16:15] | As I said to Kevin Burlington my sophomore year of college, | 我大二那年也是这么对凯文·伯灵顿说 |
| [16:18] | “Just take it.” | “接受事实吧” |
| [16:21] | This is serious. | 这事很严重 |
| [16:23] | Randy has given me so much. | 兰迪给了我很多 |
| [16:25] | Sunglasses, gift baskets, | 眼镜 礼品篮 |
| [16:27] | an orgasm with eye contact. | 四目相对的高潮 |
| [16:30] | – Oh, my God. – I know. | -我的老天 -我知道 |
| [16:31] | Usually, I have to push their face away. | 通常我都直接把男人的脸推开 |
| [16:35] | No, look. | 不 你看 |
| [16:36] | We’re at the foot of the Hollywood sign. | 我们在好莱坞标牌的底端 |
| [16:39] | Quick selfie? | 来张自拍啊 |
| [16:40] | I mean, we have to, right? | 必须得拍啊 不是吗 |
| [16:43] | On the way back, once we find the dog. | 先找到狗 等回来的时候再拍 |
| [16:45] | Which we are definitely going to do. | 这事我们一定得做 |
| [16:48] | Jennifer Lawrence is calling. | 詹妮弗·劳伦斯打来了 |
| [16:53] | Did you just hang up on J Law? | 你居然挂了大表姐的电话 |
| [16:56] | I’m pretty sure that’s against the J Law. | 我很确定这违反了”表”法 |
| [16:59] | You’re out here because you lost Randy’s dog, | 你现在在外面 是因为你弄丢了兰迪的狗 |
| [17:02] | and there’s a strange man standing over there, | 那边还站了一个陌生男人 |
| [17:04] | and all you can think about is Jennifer Lawrence. | 而你满脑子却只有詹妮弗·劳伦斯 |
| [17:06] | Did you just say there’s a strange man standing over there? | 你刚是说那边站了一个陌生男人吗 |
| [17:09] | Oh, my God, I did. | 天啊 是的 |
| [17:11] | Look… | 瞧 |
| [17:12] | See there, the old guy in the stained sweat suit. | 是一个穿着脏兮兮运动服的老阿伯 |
| [17:14] | Oh, he must be Randy’s neighbor. | 他肯定是兰迪的邻居 |
| [17:16] | What’s he doing out here? | 他在外面干什么 |
| [17:20] | Oh, you found Bruno! | 你找到布鲁诺了 |
| [17:22] | It’s so funny, for a second | 真有意思 刚才有一瞬间 |
| [17:23] | I thought he was the cannibal murderer. | 我还以为他是吃人肉的杀人狂呢 |
| [17:28] | Oh, my God, he has a knife. | 天啊 他手里拿着刀 |
| [17:30] | Maybe he’s just opening packages. | 或许他在拆包裹呢 |
| [17:33] | Come here. Come here, big boy. | 过来 快过来 乖狗狗 |
| [17:34] | – Uh…run, Max! – Come here, big boy. | -快跑 麦克斯 -过来 乖狗狗 |
| [17:38] | – Come on. – Nothing to eat here. | -快 -这里没啥可吃 |
| [17:39] | I’m stringy and chewy. | 我肉硬又难嚼 |
| [17:41] | Quick! | 快 |
| [17:42] | Quick, up here! | 快 上去 |
| [17:43] | Maybe the helicopters will see us. | 或许直升飞机会看见我们 |
| [17:45] | Yeah, and if not, | 是啊 如果看不见 |
| [17:46] | we can throw ourselves off the O. | 我们可以从”O”标牌跳下来自杀 |
| [17:48] | I refuse to get eaten by an old man… | 我拒绝被一个老头吃掉 |
| [17:50] | without a bank account. | 而且是连银行户头都没有的老头 |
| [17:53] | Can cannibals climb? | 食人狂魔会爬上来吗 |
| [17:55] | Well, they’re not called “Climbables,” So that’s good. | 他们不是”爬梯狂魔” 所以应该没事 |
| [17:58] | Is he still there? | 他还在那里吗 |
| [18:00] | Well, we’ll know in a second | 我们很快就会知道了 |
| [18:01] | ’cause you’re screaming within earshot | 因为在一个饥饿的食人族旁边大叫 |
| [18:03] | of a hungry people-eater. | 他听得到好吗 |
| [18:04] | You are surrounded! Put your hands up! | 你被包围了 把你的双手举起来 |
| [18:14] | Max, the police are here. | 麦克斯 警察来了 |
| [18:15] | We’re safe. We’re safe. | 我们安全了 安全了 |
| [18:17] | Speak for yourself. | 那是你而已 |
| [18:18] | I’m technically under house arrest in Connecticut. | 严格说来 我应该在康州服在家软禁刑法 |
| [18:28] | I let him eat ice cream. | 我让他吃冰淇淋 |
| [18:30] | He deserves it. | 这是他应得的 |
| [18:31] | Who had a rough day yesterday? | 谁昨天过得很不顺呀 |
| [18:34] | I am really sorry, Randy. | 真的很抱歉 兰迪 |
| [18:37] | You must think I’m as irresponsible as I am. | 你一定认为我是一个不负责任的人 |
| [18:40] | This is where you cry | 你该出场了 快哭着 |
| [18:42] | and tell him it’s all you and I’m perfect. | 告诉他都是你的错 而我是一个完人 |
| [18:45] | Sorry, I was just thinking, | 抱歉 我刚在想 |
| [18:46] | that dog’s gums and teeth look healthier than mine. | 那狗的牙齿和牙龈看起来比我的还健康 |
| [18:50] | I still can’t believe my neighbor | 我至今仍不敢相信我的邻居 |
| [18:51] | was Walter Gary Vance the cannibal. | 居然是食人狂魔沃尔特·加里·万斯 |
| [18:54] | And honestly, it was way worse living next to Courtney Love. | 老实说 这比住在科特妮·洛芙隔壁还糟得多 |
| [18:57] | I mean, it’s not that hard. | 其实我要求也不高 |
| [18:59] | Blue bins are for recycling, | 蓝色垃圾箱是可回收物 |
| [19:00] | Tuesdays are street cleaning, | 每周二是街道清扫 |
| [19:02] | Don’t do heroin on my porch. | 不要在我门廊吸毒 |
| [19:05] | Yeah, that’s a driveway sport. | 是啊 那是一项私家车道上的”运动” |
| [19:09] | Look, Bruno’s gotten out before, | 布鲁诺以前也曾跑出去过 |
| [19:12] | but the fact that you went out there to look for him | 但你们特意跑出去找他 |
| [19:15] | and risked your lives. | 还冒着生命危险 |
| [19:16] | I mean, you were fearless. | 你们真勇敢 |
| [19:19] | Pfft, whatever. Maybe a little. | 随便吧 或许有那么一点吧 |
| [19:25] | Ugh, great. Jennifer Lawrence just passed. | 这下好了 詹妮弗·劳伦斯拜拜了 |
| [19:28] | She’s dead? | 她死了吗 |
| [19:31] | No, she passed on the movie. | 不 她跟我的电影拜拜了 |
| [19:33] | It’s her loss. | 那是她的损失 |
| [19:35] | Well, it’s your loss, but I feel like I owe you | 好吧 是你的损失 但我觉得欠你人情 |
| [19:37] | for risking your life to find my boyfriend’s dog. | 毕竟你冒着生命危险去找我男朋友的狗 |
| [19:40] | Not that you’re my boyfriend, | 不是说你是我的男朋友啊 |
| [19:43] | ’cause gross. | 因为超恶心 |
| [19:46] | I’d be lucky to be your boyfriend. | 能当你的男朋友 真是三生有幸 |
| [19:49] | If I was, which yuck, I’m not. | 提前是我是 但幸好我不是 |
| [19:53] | Hey, everybody. | 大家安安 |
| [19:55] | Look, I’m spiritually evolved now. | 瞧瞧 我的精神已经升华了 |
| [19:59] | Yeah, you know, the meditating was screwing up my knees, | 是啊 冥想让我的膝盖难受 |
| [20:03] | so I bought this getup from an Indian woman at a bus stop. | 所以我从公车站的一个印度女人那买了这装束 |
| [20:06] | Yeah, it’s a lot easier. | 印度跟冥想差不多 这样轻松多了 |
| [20:10] | Sophie, those flowers are beautiful. | 苏菲 这束花真美 |
| [20:12] | Yeah… | 是啊 |
| [20:14] | and they’re for you. | 这是送你的 |
| [20:19] | What’re they gonna do to me? | 这束花会对我做什么吗 |
| [20:24] | They’re an act of love and kindness. | 它们代表的是爱意和善意之举 |
| [20:27] | Sophie, that’s literally the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. | 苏菲 这真是你对我说过最好听的话了 |
| [20:31] | Oh, yeah. | 是啊 |
| [20:32] | I don’t know if it’s my aura’s clean, | 我不知道是不是因为我灵气变干净了 |
| [20:34] | or it’s the 12.95 Bindi dot I’m wearing, | 还是这颗价值12.95元的眉心痣作祟 |
| [20:37] | but I really do mean it. | 但我是真的发自内心的 |
| [20:39] | Oh, Sophie, no. That’s dog ice cream. | 苏菲 别吃 那是狗吃的冰淇淋 |
| [20:41] | Mind your own business, bitch! | 少多管闲事 婊砸 |
| [20:46] | And we’re back. | 一秒钟破功 |