| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | Caroline, I’m home! | 卡洛琳 我到家啦 |
| [00:07] | I mean, I’m hotel! | 我是说 到酒店啦 |
| [00:10] | I’m upstairs, | 我在楼上 |
| [00:12] | because we have an upstairs! | 因为我们现在有楼上啦 |
| [00:14] | Thank you for losing all your money | 谢谢你损失万贯家财 |
| [00:16] | so Hollywood would buy your story | 现在好莱坞才会要买你的故事 |
| [00:17] | and I could buy all the pot I want. | 我也才有机会大买特买大麻 |
| [00:22] | Hello, darling. You’re just in time | 亲爱的 你好 你正好赶上 |
| [00:23] | for my big Hollywood entrance. | 看我隆重好莱坞登场 |
| [00:27] | Hold up, Greta Garbage. | 稍等 垃圾女神 |
| [00:30] | I just want to tell Earl about the pot sitch out here. | 我想先跟厄尔说这里大麻的事儿 |
| [00:33] | He’ll think it’s high-larious. | 他一定觉得特嗨好笑 |
| [00:36] | You never want to watch me walk. | 你每次都不想看人家走路 |
| [00:40] | What up, Earl? It’s your girl, Max, | 厄尔 干嘛呢 是你的宝贝麦克斯 |
| [00:42] | calling from Holly-weed, Cali-juana. | 从加州大 麻莱坞给你致电 |
| [00:46] | Hey, Max, it’s not the same without you here. | 麦克斯 你不在 这里都不一样了 |
| [00:48] | A lot less customers crying. | 少了好多客人被弄哭 |
| [00:52] | Listen to this! | 听我说 |
| [00:53] | They just give you pot cards out here. | 这里随便就发给你医用大麻许可卡 |
| [00:56] | All I had to say was “Sure, I get sad.” | 我跟医生说”宝宝有时会不开心”就拿到了 |
| [01:00] | Hey, I’m an 80-year-old man working at a dead-end diner. | 我这样在没出路的餐厅工作的80岁老人 |
| [01:03] | I bet I’d get two cards. | 我赌我这理由能拿两张卡 |
| [01:08] | Is that Max? Let me talk to her. | 是麦克斯吗 让我跟她说 |
| [01:12] | I can’t find my white golf glove, and I know you took it! | 我的白色高球手套肯定是被你偷拿走了 |
| [01:17] | Han, keep your panties on. | 阿憨 别看到黑影就开枪 |
| [01:19] | I have no idea where your glove is. | 我不知道你的手套上哪去了 |
| [01:21] | Oh, I’m driving through the hills. | 开车这段信号不好 |
| [01:23] | I’m…breaking…up. | 这里…信号…不好 |
| [01:28] | Okay, here comes my big Hollywood entrance. | 好了 本姑娘的隆重好莱坞登场 |
| [01:31] | Hello, darling–I hope I haven’t kept you waiting. | 亲爱的你好 希望没让你等太久 |
| [01:40] | Oh, my God! Are you okay? | 天啊 你没事吧 |
| [01:46] | I’m head over heels for Hollywood, baby. | 我对好莱坞的爱 让我人仰马翻 |
| [02:05] | Just put it wherever you would usually put things | 你就把食物放在通常 |
| [02:07] | for, like, a big Hollywood meeting with screenwriters | 与好莱坞编剧的隆重会议 写你人生故事时 |
| [02:09] | who are writing your life story. | 会放的位置就行 |
| [02:11] | So, the counter? | 吧台呗 |
| [02:14] | Go with your instincts. | 跟着你的直觉走 |
| [02:16] | If I’d gone with my instincts, | 如果我要跟着直觉走 |
| [02:17] | I would’ve finished nursing college. | 那我当时就会念完护士学位 |
| [02:20] | Another reason I love LA? | 我爱洛城的另一个原因呢 |
| [02:22] | We just had brunch at a place where you can valet park your dog. | 就是我们吃早午餐的餐厅 居然有代客停狗 |
| [02:25] | Oh, my God, Max, are those new sunglasses? | 天啊 麦克斯 那是新墨镜吗 |
| [02:29] | Randy got them for me. | 兰迪买给我的 |
| [02:32] | I had to. Your other pair of sunglasses | 没办法 你的那副墨镜没散架 |
| [02:34] | were being held together by willpower, | 全凭它自身的意志力 |
| [02:36] | and four-week-old gum. | 与一块四周大的口香糖 |
| [02:40] | Can you have dinner tonight? | 今晚有空共进晚餐吗 |
| [02:41] | Ah, would that mean I have to have sex with you again? | 吃晚餐是不是就代表又得跟你滚床单 |
| [02:44] | Because the answer is yes. | 因为我的答案是 好的 |
| [02:47] | Max, you’re going out with Randy again? | 麦克斯 你又要跟兰迪去约会啊 |
| [02:49] | I’ve barely seen you since we got here. | 我们到了这里之后 你就整天不见蛋 |
| [02:51] | And I’ve seen David Schwimmer four times. | 反而大卫·史威默我都碰见他四次了 |
| [02:55] | I’ve never met David Schwimmer, | 我还没见过他呢 |
| [02:56] | which is weird ’cause I’m pretty sure I’m his lawyer. | 这倒是挺奇怪 因为我蛮确定我是他律师 |
| [03:00] | Why don’t you come to dinner with us? | 你何不跟我们一起吃饭呢 |
| [03:02] | Would that mean she has to have sex with you again? | 这是否代表她又得跟你滚床单 |
| [03:04] | Because that’s a yes! | 因为我的答案是 好的 |
| [03:07] | Actually, now I think of it, | 其实我现在这么一想 |
| [03:08] | I can set you up with an old friend of mine. | 我可以介绍你跟我一个老朋友认识 |
| [03:10] | He is big in this town. | 他在这里可是知名大人物 |
| [03:11] | Deli-sandwich- named-after-him big. | 有三明治以他为名这么出名 |
| [03:14] | If you start dating a big sandwich, | 如果你跟大牌三明治好上 |
| [03:16] | I’m gonna be really jealous. | 我会很嫉妒呢 |
| [03:18] | See you later? | 今晚见 |
| [03:20] | My boobs are down here. | 请盯着我的巨乳好吗 |
| [03:24] | Wear something cute. | 穿可爱点 |
| [03:26] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [03:30] | Last time a guy told you to wear something cute, | 上一次有男人让你穿可爱点 |
| [03:33] | You said, “Like what? Yo nuts?” | 你回答”啥可爱 你的蛋蛋吗” |
| [03:38] | You really like this guy. | 你真的很喜欢这男的啊 |
| [03:40] | Oh, can you just not ruin this for me | 你能别再一直说出 |
| [03:42] | by pointing out what’s good about it? | 到底好在哪了吗 都没惊喜了 |
| [03:44] | – Ooh, snacks. – No, don’t eat those. | -零食 -别吃 |
| [03:45] | That’s for the meeting with the writers. | 这是为跟编剧开会准备的 |
| [03:47] | Writers are actors who gave up, so they’re allowed to eat. | 编剧就是弃疗的演员 所以他们可以随便吃 |
| [03:51] | Can we talk about casting with these writers? | 我们能聊聊选谁来演吗 |
| [03:53] | Because for once, I want a name to play me, | 这次我想要个有知名度的人演我 |
| [03:55] | not just some lady who falls out of her tube top on “Cops.” | 而不是只是别的节目里的杂鱼临演 |
| [04:00] | Hi, everybody! | 大家安安 |
| [04:04] | Sophie, I thought you were gonna be at the healer | 苏菲 我还以为这时间你是去找那个名医 |
| [04:05] | who’s gonna help you get pregnant | 来帮你怀孕 |
| [04:07] | until well after our meeting. | 所以要到会议结束很久之后才回来 |
| [04:09] | Well, you’re wrong. | 你错了 |
| [04:15] | My healer had to cancel. | 那位名医取消了我的预约 |
| [04:18] | She’s trying to get Kim Kardashian pregnant again. | 她得先去帮金·卡戴珊再次怀孕 |
| [04:22] | Or is it Kanye? | 是她还是侃爷怀啊 |
| [04:25] | I forget which one’s the girl. | 我忘了他俩谁才是女人 |
| [04:28] | I’m pretty sure it’s Kanye, | 我挺确定是侃爷 |
| [04:30] | because he’s the one that goes crazy once a month. | 因为他每个月都会在网上发疯乱讲话一次 |
| [04:37] | This is so exciting. Our movie meeting is happening! | 好兴奋啊 我们的电影会议要开始了 |
| [04:40] | This is exciting. | 的确很兴奋 |
| [04:41] | I’ve never been in a hotel meeting | 这是我首次不是因为 |
| [04:42] | that didn’t start on Craigslist. | 贴”小广告”而跟人在酒店见面 |
| [04:46] | – Hi! – Hi, I’m Leslie. | -你好 -你好 我叫莱斯丽 |
| [04:48] | This is Jason. He’s my partner. | 他是杰森 他是我搭档[伴侣] |
| [04:50] | Writing partner. | 编剧搭档 |
| [04:52] | To be clear, I only date models. | 先解释清楚 我只跟模特约会 |
| [04:55] | Hand models, to be clear. | 先解释清楚 是手模 |
| [04:58] | Come on in. | 请进 |
| [04:59] | I’m Caroline Channing. | 我是卡洛琳·钱宁 |
| [05:01] | You probably recognize me from Google Images. | 估计你在谷歌搜图上见过我 |
| [05:04] | The photo of me being dragged out of Barneys crying | 我拿着被剪掉的信用卡 |
| [05:06] | with my cut up credit cards is classic. | 哭着被高档百货的人拖出来的照片太经典 |
| [05:12] | And I’m Max Black. If you Google Image me, | 我叫麦克斯·布莱克 如果你谷歌搜我图 |
| [05:15] | you’ll see the Canadian dude I stole my identity from. | 你就会看到被我盗窃身份的加拿大男子 |
| [05:19] | You’re hot. Are you a model? | 你好性感 你是模特吗 |
| [05:21] | That is so unprofessional. | 这样太不专业了 |
| [05:24] | Right. Like I’m the one who has to stay | 说得好像我才是被法院限制 |
| [05:26] | 500 feet away from Fred Savage. | 不许接近佛莱德·萨维奇的人 |
| [05:28] | He’s just so darn cute! | 他真的太可爱了 |
| [05:31] | Anyway, hi. | 总之 你好 |
| [05:33] | Hi, okay, yeah. Let’s switch focus | 你好 好的 我们换个话题 |
| [05:35] | and sit and talk movie. | 坐下来聊聊电影吧 |
| [05:37] | I already came up with my character’s catch phrase. | 我已经想到了我角色的口头禅 |
| [05:40] | I think every time I leave the room, I should say | 我觉得每次我的角色要离场时 就说 |
| [05:43] | “Jigga jigga damn.” | “我个我个去” |
| [05:46] | We thought it was just gonna be us and Caroline, | 我们以为只会是我们跟卡洛琳之间谈 |
| [05:48] | not that you’re not fun and fabulous. | 不是嫌弃你不好玩 或是不美 |
| [05:50] | You’re like a sober Megan Fox. | 你就像清醒版的梅根·福克斯[女星] |
| [05:55] | I’m confused. I assumed you wanted to meet | 我迷糊了 我以为你会想跟 |
| [05:57] | with both of us because, you know, | 我们两个人一起见面 |
| [05:58] | Max is a huge part of the story. | 毕竟麦克斯在故事中的地位举足轻重 |
| [06:01] | Stop texting. Help me. | 别发短信了 帮帮我 |
| [06:06] | This is just a boring, preliminary, get-to-know-you meeting. | 这只是一场无聊的初步认识会议 |
| [06:08] | – It would really be better if– – I wasn’t here. | -所以最好就是… -我不在 |
| [06:10] | Yeah, I get it. I know when I’m not wanted. | 别人不想要我时 我感觉得到 |
| [06:13] | That’s why I high-tailed it out of my mother’s womb. | 所以我尽早逃出我妈的子宫了 |
| [06:16] | Anyway, I have a big Hollywood meeting myself. | 反正 我自己也有一场隆重的好莱坞会议 |
| [06:19] | – You do? – Uh, yeah. | -是吗 -对啊 |
| [06:22] | I have an appointment to go stand in line | 我有一个预约 我得去排队 |
| [06:23] | for a little thing called “The Price Is Right.” | 报名一个节目叫《价格竞猜》 |
| [06:23] | 知名的玩游戏得奖金/生活用品的节目 深受主妇/主夫的喜爱 | |
| [06:26] | You ever heard of it? | 你们听过吗 |
| [06:27] | Ah, you know you have. | 这么出名你们铁定听过 |
| [06:30] | Max, you don’t have to go. | 麦克斯 你不用走 |
| [06:32] | It’s cool, it’s cool. | 没事 没事的 |
| [06:33] | And with that, let me just say, | 说到这里 我想说 |
| [06:36] | jigga jigga damn. | 我个我个去 |
| [06:38] | So, here’s the thing. | 事情是这样的 |
| [06:40] | Your friend’s character is not in the movie. | 电影里没有你朋友这个角色 |
| [06:44] | We don’t have to do that “Jigga jigga damn” thing. | 我们可以不用说那句”我个我个去”啊 |
| [06:47] | To be honest, I’ve never heard her say that. | 我说实话 我从没听她说过这个 |
| [06:50] | Nothing personal to your friend. | 跟你的朋友无关 |
| [06:51] | – She’s hot. – We get it! | -她很正点 -知道你迷她 |
| [06:55] | But Jennifer Lawrence is interested in playing you. | 但当红女星詹妮弗·劳伦斯想出演你 |
| [06:58] | And she wants to do a brave, no-makeup role. | 她想演出个勇敢素颜的角色 |
| [07:01] | Without a co-star. | 还得是唯一女主角 |
| [07:03] | Jennifer Lawrence wants to play me? | 詹妮弗·劳伦斯想演我吗 |
| [07:06] | Jigga jigga damn! | 我个我个去 |
| [07:20] | So you want to sleep over again tonight? | 你今晚想再次留宿我家吗 |
| [07:22] | Think your mom will let you? | 你妈妈会答应吗 |
| [07:24] | Maybe. She let me get a job at five. | 大概会吧 我五岁她就让我工作了 |
| [07:29] | You guys are sitting on the same side of the table? | 你们俩坐在餐桌同一边吗 |
| [07:31] | Max, you’ve kicked people out of the diner for that! | 麦克斯 你曾因此把人踢出过餐厅呢 |
| [07:34] | And it was a boy and his nana. | 而且人家是奶奶跟孙子 |
| [07:37] | I’ve sat next to people before at dinner. | 我以前在晚饭时也坐过别人旁边啊 |
| [07:39] | They kind of make you at the shelter. | 流浪汉之家的人半强迫大家排排坐 |
| [07:43] | Some wine? | 来点干白吗 |
| [07:44] | Wine that’s not from a box? | 非廉价盒装的干白吗 |
| [07:47] | That’s a yes! | 当然好啦 |
| [07:49] | Anyway, how was “The Price Is Right”? | 对了《价格竞猜》怎么样了 |
| [07:52] | Did you get to meet the host, I want to say | 你见到那个主持人了吗 我想他是叫… |
| [07:54] | Alex Sajack? | 艾利克斯·沙杰克 |
| [07:57] | Control that temper, Max. | 忍住怒火 麦克斯 |
| [07:59] | It’s Drew Carey, and he gets housewives wet | 是德鲁·凯利 他可是一周有五天 |
| [08:01] | five days a week– know the facts. | 都能让主妇下面湿哒哒的男人 记好了 |
| [08:06] | But I showed up too late, so I got to go back tomorrow. | 但我今天太晚到了 只能明天再去排 |
| [08:08] | I was thinking of wearing a shirt that said | 我在想 明天穿的T恤上面写着 |
| [08:11] | “One in the Plinko, two in the stinko.” | “竞猜猪一样 手气屎一样” |
| [08:16] | How about I buy you a lifetime supply of Rice-A-Roni? | 我直接买一辈子分量的便餐包给你吧 |
| [08:20] | I don’t think you realize how much Rice-A-Roni I can eat. | 你大概没意识到我吃的量能把你吃破产 |
| [08:24] | Oh, there’s Bob. | 鲍伯来了 |
| [08:27] | Bob! We’re over here. | 鲍伯 我们在这边 |
| [08:29] | Oh, hey there, hot shot. | 你好啊 帅哥 |
| [08:29] | 乔治·汉密尔顿 老牌电影/电视演员 曾出演过《教父3》 | |
| [08:35] | Is that my date Bob, or a different Bob? | 这是你要撮合的鲍伯 还是同名朋友 |
| [08:38] | I need that to be a different Bob. | 请告诉我他只是刚好同名 |
| [08:42] | I think that’s the very first Bob. | 我觉得他是史上第一个鲍伯 |
| [08:45] | It was Adam, Eve, and Bob. | 当年就是亚当 夏娃与鲍伯三人 |
| [08:48] | Caroline, this is Bob. | 卡洛琳 这位是鲍伯 |
| [08:50] | Bob, meet Caroline Channing. | 鲍伯 这位是卡洛琳·钱宁 |
| [08:52] | Nice to meet you. | 幸会 |
| [08:54] | Not a lot on top. | 上面不太有料啊 |
| [08:58] | I hope he means I’m stupid. | 希望”上面”是指我的脑子没料 |
| [09:03] | If me and Randy are May-December, | 如果我跟兰迪算是老少配 |
| [09:05] | you two are May-Dead. | 那你们就是穿越恋啊 |
| [09:11] | Marlon Brando played the pants off the Godfather. | 马龙·白兰度在《教父》中演得赞到不行 |
| [09:15] | You bet your ass he did. | 这事毋庸置疑 |
| [09:18] | At the end of the day, he was kissing my ring. | 但说到底 他还不是亲我戒指[臣服于我] |
| [09:22] | Speaking of kissing, I haven’t gotten one | 说到亲 我上一次接吻 |
| [09:24] | since that time Bob did heroin with the Stones. | 还是鲍伯跟老牌滚石乐队一起吸毒的时候呢 |
| [09:28] | I think you mean the time the Stones did heroin with Bob. | 你是说他们来跟着我吸毒的那会吧 |
| [09:38] | Getting any ideas? | 有”想法”了吗 |
| [09:44] | Yeah, that I want to die before 60. | 有啊 我想60岁前就死去 |
| [09:48] | Anybody want to do a little blow? | 有人想”来一发”吗 |
| [09:52] | I’m gonna pass. | 我就算了 |
| [09:54] | We have to be careful, Bob. | 我们得小心啊 鲍伯 |
| [09:55] | Some of us are capable of dying. | 我们的生命力没你坚强啊 |
| [09:59] | I’m gonna pass as well. | 我也算了 |
| [10:01] | I don’t do snorties. | 我不吸粉 |
| [10:04] | Even I’m scared of how much talking there’d be. | 连我自己都怕我吸完后会有多话痨 |
| [10:08] | Toot, toot. The train is leaving. | 呜 呜 火车要离站啦 |
| [10:13] | Um, Randy? | 兰迪 |
| [10:14] | It was really nice of you to set me up, | 谢谢你很好心给我撮合对象 |
| [10:16] | but what the hell were you thinking? | 但你想啥呢 |
| [10:18] | There’s a 100-year age difference! | 我跟他起码差了100岁吧 |
| [10:22] | Caroline, this is Hollywood. | 卡洛琳 这里是好莱坞 |
| [10:24] | Age doesn’t matter. | 年龄不是问题 |
| [10:25] | Unless you’re a woman. | 除非你是女人 |
| [10:28] | Plus, Bob’s got a lot of connections. | 再说了 鲍伯人脉广 |
| [10:31] | He could really help you with your deal. | 你的事他真能提供很多帮助呢 |
| [10:33] | I’m not gonna sleep with God’s college roommate | 我才不要跟上帝当年的大学舍友”睡” |
| [10:38] | to get ahead in Hollywood. | 好换取在好莱坞能出头 |
| [10:40] | I think sleeping’s pretty much all you’d have to do. | 我觉得跟这老人 睡就好 不需要”睡” |
| [10:46] | Never got to the blow. | 没”吸”到 |
| [10:47] | Ran into my fourth ex-wife, | 撞到我第四任前妻 |
| [10:49] | only this time it wasn’t with | 只是这一次不是 |
| [10:51] | the moose bumper on my Range Rover. | 用我路虎的防撞杆”撞” |
| [10:56] | You’re still driving? | 你这年纪还能开车啊 |
| [11:01] | What are you dolls doing in Hollywood? | 你们俩美女来好莱坞干嘛 |
| [11:02] | You girls like a sister act or something? | 你俩是走姐妹花之类的路线吗 |
| [11:06] | Kind of. They’re making a movie about us, | 算吧 有人要拍一部关于我们的电影 |
| [11:08] | So, what did the writers say? | 对了 那俩编剧怎么说 |
| [11:10] | What did they think about Zach Galifianakis playing me? | 他们觉得扎克·加利费安纳基斯演我怎么样 |
| [11:15] | Well, it’s nothing personal, | 不是针对你个人 |
| [11:17] | but the writers don’t feel like you’re… | 但那俩编剧不想让你… |
| [11:19] | It’s just, there’s so much story. | 这电影里的故事太多了 |
| [11:23] | There’s a lot of characters already. | 而且角色也已经有很多了 |
| [11:26] | You’re out of the picture, kid. | 你出局了 孩子 |
| [11:29] | Really? I’m out? | 真的吗 我出局了吗 |
| [11:31] | Max, I’m sorry. I told them you are crucial. | 麦克斯 很抱歉 我跟他们说了你至关重要 |
| [11:34] | But then they said maybe Jennifer Lawrence would play me | 但当他们说没准詹妮弗·劳伦斯会来演我时 |
| [11:37] | and I kind of blacked out after that. | 我有点两眼发黑 心也跟着变黑了 |
| [11:39] | Hey, I’ve been cut out of a lot of life stories, | 我被踢出过很多人生故事 |
| [11:41] | like my mom’s, every time she met a guy. | 比如我妈每次遇见一个新男人 |
| [11:44] | I was just her two-year-old cleaning lady. | 我就变成她的两岁清洁小女工 |
| [11:47] | Max, this is just the way Hollywood works. | 麦克斯 好莱坞就是这样 |
| [11:51] | Bob, you know how Hollywood is. | 鲍伯 你就知道好莱坞是如此 |
| [11:53] | You were there when it started. | 你见证了它的成长 |
| [11:56] | It’s cool, it’s cool. Randy, you ready? | 没事没事 兰迪 你准备好了吗 |
| [11:58] | Yeah, we’re gonna take off before the next story, Bob. | 是的 我们要在下一个故事前离开 鲍伯 |
| [12:01] | I can only hear about that three-way | 我已经听了很多次 |
| [12:03] | with Gavin MacLeod so many times. | 你和加文·麦格诺3P的风流韵事了 |
| [12:06] | Plus, I have to get up early | 再说了 我得早起 |
| [12:07] | to get in line for “The Price Is Right.” | 排队去参加《价格竞猜》 |
| [12:09] | I used to babysit little Bobby Barker. | 我以前还照看过小鲍比·巴克呢 |
| [12:13] | Max, don’t leave. Stay for another drink. | 麦克斯 别走 留下来再喝一杯 |
| [12:15] | Nah, I’m out. | 不了 我出局了 |
| [12:18] | Wow, you could cut that tension | 我吸可卡因的刀片借你 |
| [12:20] | with my coke blade. | 一刀切断这紧绷的气氛 |
| [12:23] | Max is tough. We’re a team. | 麦克斯很坚强 我们是一个团队 |
| [12:26] | We’ve been through a lot together, | 我们一起经历了很多 |
| [12:27] | including a car wash that time our shower broke. | 一起经受家里花洒坏了 去洗车机洗澡的事 |
| [12:31] | You’ll be fine, kid. | 你会没事的 孩子 |
| [12:32] | You’re gonna have plenty of friends | 等你电影上映了 |
| [12:33] | when your movie comes out, | 你会收获很多朋友 |
| [12:35] | and for six months after that. | 交情能维持半年呢 |
| [12:38] | I don’t need fake friends. I have Max. | 我不需要虚伪的朋友 我有麦克斯 |
| [12:41] | That’s what Wesley Snipes said about Jane Fonda. | 韦斯利·斯奈普斯当年也这么跟我说简·方达 |
| [12:44] | They’re not friends. | 他们不是朋友啊 |
| [12:46] | You bet your ass they’re not. | 当然不是 他敢泡我妞他就死定了 |
| [13:00] | I thought you weren’t gonna have time | 我以为你不会有时间 |
| [13:01] | to be on “The Price Is Right,” | 来上《价格竞猜》 |
| [13:02] | with Caroline’s big | 你得上卡洛琳那部… |
| [13:04] | and I’m assuming boring movie. | 我预计肯定超无聊的电影 |
| [13:08] | Well, my schedule’s wide open. | 我超有空 |
| [13:10] | When it comes to the movie, I pulled out. | 当涉及到电影时 我退出[拔出] |
| [13:12] | You know, like I always tell guys I’m going to. | 我经常告诉男人我会这么做 |
| [13:17] | Oh, it’s Oleg. | 是奥列格 |
| [13:18] | I bet you he wants to have phone sex. | 我猜他肯定想跟我电话爱爱 |
| [13:21] | Is there anything I can lean on? | 有什么东西可以让我靠着吗 |
| [13:26] | Hey, Sophie. | 苏菲 |
| [13:27] | I was just making some baby back ribs | 我刚才在做嫩肋排 |
| [13:28] | and I thought, I want my baby back | 于是我想 我要我的嫩妹屁屁 |
| [13:32] | Then I pleasured myself with an oven mitt. | 然后我用烤箱手套撸了一发 |
| [13:37] | So, no sex? | 所以不爱爱吗 |
| [13:38] | ‘Cause I see a bench. It’s a perfect height, | 我看见这有一张长椅 高度正好 |
| [13:40] | and I can have Max hold the phone for us. | 而且我可以让麦克斯帮咱俩拿着手机 |
| [13:44] | Is that Sophie? Is she with Max? | 是苏菲吗 她是不是跟麦克斯一起 |
| [13:47] | Give me that. | 电话给我 |
| [13:49] | It’s Han, | 阿憨找你 |
| [13:50] | and you know sounds even shorter long-distance. | 距离越远 他听起来越矮 |
| [13:54] | Max, did you play with the ringtone on my phone? | 麦克斯 你是不是乱改我的手机铃声了 |
| [13:58] | Every time it rings, it makes sex sounds. | 每次我手机响 就会发出叫床声 |
| [14:05] | Mother. | 母亲大人 |
| [14:07] | I have to call you back. | 我等会再打给你 |
| [14:09] | Sounds like she’s doing just fine on her own. | 听起来她自己也过得挺爽嘛 |
| [14:13] | How do I make the sex sounds stop? | 我要怎么弄掉这叫床声 |
| [14:15] | For you, it’s a rare occurrence. | 对你而言 这难得一遇啊 |
| [14:17] | Just leave it in your pants and enjoy it. | 就把手机放裤兜里 好好享受吧 |
| [14:21] | So, Max– | 麦克斯 |
| [14:22] | Sorry, Han. I can’t hear you. | 抱歉 阿憨 我听不清 |
| [14:24] | I’m driving through the hills. | 开车这段信号不好 |
| [14:25] | I’m…breaking…up aah…ahh… | 这里…信号…不好 |
| [14:33] | I’m coming, Mother! | 我”来”了 母亲大人 |
| [14:37] | Ooh, here comes the contestant picker. | 挑选选手的人来了 |
| [14:39] | Act like you’re a stay-at-home mom from the Midwest. | 快假装你是中西部的全职妈妈 |
| [14:41] | That’s the “Price Is Right” sweet spot. | 那是这节目的最佳入选条件 |
| [14:43] | Okay, how’s this? | 好的 你看这样行吗 |
| [14:44] | Oh, God. | 老天 |
| [14:46] | Those little bastards are just running me ragged. | 那些小混蛋让我忙得精疲力尽 |
| [14:51] | – Pick me! – Pick me! | -选我 -选我 |
| [14:56] | We got a lot of 12-year-old boys playing sick at home. | 我们有很多12岁的小男孩假装生病了 |
| [14:58] | How long can you ladies jump up and down for? | 你们俩能这样上蹦下跳多久 |
| [15:01] | 20 minutes. | 20分钟 |
| [15:02] | Step out of line. | 请出列 |
| [15:05] | What is that costume? | 这身是什么衣服 |
| [15:06] | Oh, this is home-bedazzled, doncha know? | 花花绿绿全职妈妈装 |
| [15:10] | Step out of line. | 请出列 |
| [15:12] | I’m just glad to be out of the house. | 真高兴我终于走出家门了 |
| [15:15] | Wait here. You’re both in the mix. | 在这里等着 你们俩入选了 |
| [15:16] | Practice being excited to meet Drew Carey. | 先练习一下见到德鲁·凯里兴奋不已的样子 |
| [15:18] | He knows when you’re faking it. | 他一眼就能识破你们是不是假兴奋 |
| [15:20] | My Bob never knows when I’m faking it. | 我的鲍伯从未识破我是不是假”性奋” |
| [15:24] | Keep it up. I like your pepper. | 保持下去 我喜欢你的热辣活力 |
| [15:28] | Max! I’ve been looking all over for you. | 麦克斯 我到处找你 |
| [15:32] | What are you doing here? | 你来这里干嘛 |
| [15:33] | This isn’t a scene in the movie. | 这里可不是电影里的场景 |
| [15:35] | I know, because I’m in it. | 我知道 因为这里有我 |
| [15:37] | Max, there would be no movie without you. | 麦克斯 没有你就不会有这部电影 |
| [15:40] | There would also be no armed guards at HomeTown Buffet. | 没有我 家乡自助餐厅也不会有武装警卫啊 |
| [15:42] | What’s your point? | 你想说什么 |
| [15:44] | I would’ve been here sooner, | 我本能早点来这里 |
| [15:45] | but I just got back from Vegas with Bob. | 但我刚跟鲍伯从赌城回来 |
| [15:48] | He lost $50,000, | 他输掉了5万美元 |
| [15:50] | and somehow Faye Dunaway’s Oscar. | 还有菲·唐纳薇的奥斯卡 |
| [15:53] | But Bob and I talked a lot about friendship on the helicopter. | 我和鲍伯在直升飞机上聊了很多关于友情的事 |
| [15:56] | You know, right after I jump-started his heart | 就在我用肾上腺素注射器 |
| [15:58] | with the epi pen. | 让他的心脏重新起跳后 |
| [15:59] | And you and I are not gonna be | 我和你决不会变成 |
| [16:01] | Winona Ryder and Gwyneth Paltrow. | 薇诺娜·瑞德和格温妮丝·帕特洛 |
| [16:01] | 传言当年格温妮丝无意在薇诺娜家发现了《莎翁情史》的剧本 最终赢得奥斯卡 也失掉了好闺蜜 | |
| [16:04] | Or Sophie and Gwyneth Paltrow! | 或是苏菲和格温妮丝·帕特洛 |
| [16:07] | That bitch. | 那个贱人 |
| [16:09] | I was going to name my first-born “Apple,” | 我本来想给我第一个孩子起名为”小苹果” |
| [16:12] | and she took it. | 没想到被她抢了 |
| [16:13] | Now I have to settle for “Fritter.” | 现在只能勉强起名为”小油饼” |
| [16:18] | I am not gonna sell out our friendship for Hollywood. | 我不会为了钱而牺牲我们的友情 |
| [16:21] | Max, you’re in the movie and you’re coming with me | 麦克斯 电影必须有你 你现在跟我 |
| [16:23] | to the meeting to tell them that. | 去会上告诉他们这点 |
| [16:25] | But I’m in the mix. | 但我入选了 |
| [16:26] | They actually want me here. | 他们真心要我留在这里 |
| [16:28] | But I want you there. | 但我也要你去那里陪我 |
| [16:31] | I’m the stupid you should be with. | 你应该和我这个蠢货在一起 |
| [16:35] | All right, screw it. | 好吧 不管了 |
| [16:36] | Sophie, I’m gonna go with her. | 苏菲 我要跟她走 |
| [16:38] | Why stop making bad decisions now? | 做过这么多坏决定 也不差这一个 |
| [16:41] | All right, but I’m gonna have to make another friend in line. | 好吧 但我得在队伍里再交一个朋友 |
| [16:48] | Hi, I’m Barb. | 你好 我是芭布 |
| [16:52] | Oh, gosh, carpool and fluffernutter… | 老天 拼车和花生奶油三明治真是… |
| [16:58] | because soccer, right? | 都怪小孩要踢足球 对吧 |
| [17:08] | Max, this is kind of our first Hollywood party. | 麦克斯 这算是我们第一场好莱坞派对 |
| [17:11] | I know. I wonder who I’ll go home with. | 我知道 我很好奇我会跟谁回家 |
| [17:14] | Probably Andrew Dice Clay again. | 估计又是安德鲁·戴斯·克雷吧 |
| [17:17] | Hey listen, this might be | 听着 这可能是 |
| [17:18] | the sixth teeny, tiny, tequila talking, | 第六杯小小龙舌兰酒的胡话 |
| [17:20] | but thanks for standing up for me | 但谢谢你站出来维护我 |
| [17:22] | and not letting those writers cut me out of your life. | 没有让那些编剧把我从你的人生中踢出去 |
| [17:24] | Oh, Max, that means a lot. | 麦克斯 这番话意义非凡 |
| [17:27] | I love it when you’re drunk and nice. | 我喜欢你喝醉时友好的样子 |
| [17:33] | Oh, no, it’s Han. | 不好 是阿憨 |
| [17:35] | Wonder what he wants. | 好奇他打来干嘛 |
| [17:37] | You think he finally realized | 你觉得他是不是终于发现 |
| [17:38] | I changed the outgoing message on the diner | 我把餐厅答录机的录音改成 |
| [17:40] | to “Welcome to Diarrhea-ville?” | “欢迎致电拉稀小镇” |
| [17:43] | Max, I heard the outgoing message, | 麦克斯 我听到答录机的录音了 |
| [17:46] | and I found a series of Home Alone-style traps in my office, | 我还发现我办公室有一系列《小鬼当家》风的陷阱 |
| [17:50] | each one more fiendishly clever than the last. | 一个比一个更邪恶更妙 |
| [17:53] | And I don’t know how you got those goats in his office, | 我不知道你怎么把那些山羊弄进他办公室 |
| [17:57] | but we’re having a hard time getting them out. | 但我们现在很难把它们弄出去 |
| [18:02] | What’s next, Max? | 下一招是啥 麦克斯 |
| [18:03] | What will finally bring me to my knees? | 是什么会让我最终折服[下跪] |
| [18:06] | I don’t know. A guy who kind of looks like a girl? | 不知道 一个长得像女孩的男孩吗 |
| [18:10] | Why are you doing all of this to me? | 为什么你要对我百般折磨 |
| [18:13] | I just didn’t want you to forget me while I was away. | 我只是不希望我不在的时候 你忘了我 |
| [18:16] | Oh, Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [18:17] | Now you’ve brought me to tears. | 你说得我都要落泪了 |
| [18:34] | Congratulations, Max. | 恭喜 麦克斯 |
| [18:36] | You finally got his goat. | 你终于惹他生气[给他羊]了 |
| [18:45] | Somebody help me! | 快来人救我 |
| [18:48] | Cover those nuts. | 保护好蛋蛋 |
| [18:49] | You may need them one day. | 说不定某天传宗接代时会需要 |
| [18:53] | I like that you’re a bi-coastal bully. | 我喜欢你是个东西海岸恶霸 |
| [18:56] | That might be our sequel. | 我们第二部可以拍这个 |
| [18:59] | Oh, I forgot to tell you. | 我忘了告诉你 |
| [19:01] | I invited a couple of guys over. | 我邀请了两位男士过来 |
| [19:02] | Who? I’m kind of seeing someone-ish. | 谁 我现在可是名花有主的 |
| [19:05] | It’s Randy and Bob. | 是兰迪和鲍伯啦 |
| [19:09] | Bob was real? | 鲍伯是真实存在的吗 |
| [19:12] | I thought he was a ghost. | 我以为他是个老鬼呢 |
| [19:16] | Hey, girls. I brought some bubbly | 姑娘们 我带了香槟 |
| [19:18] | to celebrate your victory today, | 来庆祝你们今天的胜利 |
| [19:20] | and Bob brought a wide variety of opiates and stimulants. | 鲍伯带了多种多样的鸦片和兴奋剂 |
| [19:27] | Oh, I’m glad to see you two stuck it out. | 我很高兴看到你俩为友情坚持到底 |
| [19:29] | True friendship is a rare thing. | 真正的友谊犹如凤毛麟角 |
| [19:31] | There’s only one man I’ve ever trusted, | 这世上我只相信过一个人 |
| [19:33] | and that is Anjelica Huston. | 就是安杰丽卡·休斯顿 |
| [19:46] | Holy crap! | 哇靠 |
| [19:48] | I think God is here for Bob. | 是上帝来接鲍伯了吧 |
| [19:55] | Is that chopper for you? | 这直升机是来接你的吗 |
| [19:57] | You bet your ass it is. | 你说得太对了 |
| [19:59] | I’m going to Malibu. | 我要去马里布 |
| [20:01] | Susan Sarandon is ordering pizza. | 苏珊·萨兰登叫了披萨 |
| [20:04] | We’re doing molly. | 我们要嗑摇头丸 |
| [20:07] | Bob. | 鲍伯 |
| [20:10] | Will I ever see you again? | 我们还会见面吗 |
| [20:13] | Slow down, pussycat. I’m just getting out of something. | 别着急 小猫咪 我才刚恢复自由身 |
| [20:21] | That man sure knows how to make an exit. | 那男人的确非常了解该如何退场 |
| [20:23] | Not from life, but from everything else. | 不是退出生命 而是退出其他事情 |
| [20:26] | I gotta go, doll. | 我得走了 宝贝 |
| [20:32] | Bob’s gonna drop me off at home. | 鲍伯会顺道送我回家 |
| [20:36] | Hopefully, I’ll land in my pool this time. | 希望这次我能降落在泳池里 |
| [20:43] | I don’t know what it is, but | 我不知道是什么原因 但是… |
| [20:45] | I’m crazy about Bob. | 鲍伯令我疯狂 |
| [20:50] | Get it, girl. | 我懂 妹子 |