时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
---|---|---|
[00:02] | The Sad Lady Book Club is reading | “伤心女士书友会”又在看 |
[00:04] | Fifty Shades of Grey again. | “五十度灰”了 |
[00:08] | There’s not a dry seat in the house. | 全场的座位都湿了 |
[00:13] | If those ladies are that into light torture, | 如果那些女士这么喜欢轻度折磨 |
[00:16] | they should just apply for our jobs. | 她们就应该申请我们的工作 |
[00:19] | Hey. | 嘿 |
[00:21] | Aww, you two are so adorable. | 哦 你们俩真让人羡慕 |
[00:24] | Like Romeo and Juliet, but without the bright future. | 就像罗密欧和朱丽叶 只是没有美好的未来 |
[00:29] | Yeah… | 对… |
[00:30] | I want him out of the diner. | 我要他离开餐厅 |
[00:33] | What are you talking about? | 你在说什么? |
[00:34] | Anyone who works in this diner | 在这间餐厅工作的所有人 |
[00:35] | is like a fat guy in a Smart car. | 都像是坐在斯玛特车里的胖子 |
[00:37] | You can never get out. | 永远别想出去 |
[00:39] | It’s true. | 没错 |
[00:41] | I came in here in 1962 for a cup of coffee. | 1962年 我为了一杯咖啡来到这里 |
[00:44] | Someone asked me to break a dollar, and I never left. | 有人让我兑开一美元 我就没离开过了 |
[00:49] | Look. Living, working, and sleeping with the same guy | 听我说 和同一个人一起生活 工作 睡觉 |
[00:52] | is never a good idea. | 绝不是个好主意 |
[00:54] | Just talk to Hillary Clinton. | 不信去问希拉里·克林顿 |
[00:57] | I guess I can get a dishwasher fired. | 我想我还是能炒掉一个洗碗工的 |
[00:59] | When I was rich, I got Wolfgang Puck fired from Wolfgang Puck. | 当我还是有钱人时 我曾把沃尔夫刚·帕克从他自己的餐厅炒掉 |
[00:59] | 沃尔夫刚·帕克: 美国加州第一名厨 开办了同名餐厅 | |
[01:03] | Get yours, Max! | 去做吧 Max! |
[01:05] | Hit it then quit it. | 先干 再走 |
[01:08] | That strategy served me well in my 20s and 30s. | 在我二三十岁的时候 这方法对我很管用 |
[01:12] | Evening, ladies. | 晚上好 女士们 |
[01:16] | Also, my 70s. | 七十岁时也是 |
[01:36] | Pick up. | 上菜 |
[01:37] | Or don’t. | 不上也行 |
[01:38] | Who gives a crap? | 谁在乎呢? |
[01:40] | Well, someone’s in a bad mood. What’s wrong, Oleg? | 有人心情不好哦 怎么了 Oleg? |
[01:43] | Did they discontinue making Axe body spray? | Axe身体喷雾停产了吗? |
[01:47] | Don’t even kid. | 不许开这个玩笑 |
[01:50] | No. I’m cranky because I’m not having sex right now. | 不是 我心情不好是因为我现在没有做爱 |
[01:53] | Yeah. I thought it was weird seeing both your hands | 是啊 我还想着 在你说话时能看见你的两只手 |
[01:55] | while you were talking. | 真是奇怪 |
[01:57] | Sophie’s idea. It’s some old Polish ritual. | Sophie的主意 这是某种古老的波兰礼仪 |
[02:00] | The bride and groom remain chaste for 30 days | 新郎和新娘在婚礼前的30天里 |
[02:02] | before the wedding. | 不能做爱 |
[02:04] | Apparently, the “something blue” at the wedding | 显然 在婚礼上伤心的 |
[02:06] | has got to be my balls. | 应该是我的蛋蛋 |
[02:09] | So, you’re practicing celibacy. | 这么说 你是在练习禁欲 |
[02:11] | I’m trying, but there are women everywhere. | 我在努力 但是女人无处不在 |
[02:13] | I feel like a bull in a vagina shop. | 我觉得自己像是阴道群里的公牛 |
[02:18] | Hear ye, hear ye! | 安静 听我说! |
[02:20] | I’m unveiling a major improvement to the diner! | 我要公布餐厅的一个重要改进! |
[02:23] | Well, we’ll miss you, Han. | 我们会想你的 Han |
[02:26] | Nice try, Max, but like Ryan Seacrest, | 想得美 Max 但是就像瑞安·西克莱斯特 |
[02:26] | “美国偶像”主持人 | |
[02:29] | I’ll be here forever. | 我会一直在这里 |
[02:32] | Now, will you all please do what you have yet to do on Twitter | 现在 请所有人做一件你们还没在推特上完成的事情 |
[02:35] | and follow me? | 跟我来(关注我) |
[02:38] | You too, Earl. | 你也是 Earl |
[02:39] | Hell, this better be good. | 天啊 但愿这是好事 |
[02:40] | Every step I take could be my last. | 我做的每件事都可能是最后一件 |
[02:47] | And now… | 现在… |
[02:48] | Without further a-douche… | 不用说无脑台词… |
[02:50] | Ready to have your minds blown? | 准备好让你的心怒放了吗? |
[02:53] | At this point, I’m ready to have anything blown. | 这里插一句 我准备好让一切怒放了 |
[02:57] | Ta-da! | 当当! |
[02:59] | That is the worst gift I ever received | 这是我收到过的最糟糕的礼物 |
[03:01] | and last year, my son bought me a coffin. | 去年 我儿子买给我的是棺材 |
[03:07] | This works out great then, because it’s not for you. | 这个真的很棒 因为不是给你的 |
[03:10] | It’s for Nash. | 是给Nash的 |
[03:12] | Oh, well, that’s real nice. | 哦 那真的是很好 |
[03:14] | Because the shower at Max’s place doesn’t work at all. | 因为Max家的淋浴器完全坏了 |
[03:17] | You better believe it’s nice. | 你最好认为它很好 |
[03:19] | That’s the Spritzy 5000. | 这可是”喷头5000″ |
[03:21] | Dishwasher Weekly gave it four out of four Dishies. | “洗碗工周报”给它评了四个盘子的高分 |
[03:25] | You know our oven doesn’t work, right? | 你知道我们的烤箱坏了 对吧? |
[03:28] | Hey, boss lady, if we work hard, do we get a gift? | 嘿 老板娘 要是我们努力工作 我们也有礼物吗? |
[03:33] | If you work hard, I’ll die childless | 要是你努力工作 那我就死时无子女 |
[03:35] | with my mouth frozen open in shock. | 而且我会惊讶地张着嘴死掉 |
[03:37] | Yeah, I went there! | 对 我说过了! |
[03:40] | Nash works hard, so only he may handle my beautiful hose! | Nash工作努力 所以只有他能使用我漂亮的管子! |
[03:45] | Well, if he’s handling Han’s hose, | 要是他用上了Han的管子 |
[03:46] | he’s never getting fired. | 那他不可能被炒了 |
[03:49] | Okay. Step up here, Nash. | 好了 站上来 Nash |
[03:51] | I’ll show you what this puppy can do. | 我给你展示下 这小东西能做什么 |
[03:57] | So far the puppy can’t reach the hose. | 目前 这小东西拿不到水管 |
[04:01] | A little help. | 帮个忙 |
[04:06] | Aww, there’s nothing cuter than a hot guy holding a baby. | 哦 没什么比一个帅哥抱着个婴儿更可爱的了 |
[04:12] | Now just grab that thing and squeeze it till it sprays. | 现在只要抓着它 挤到它喷出来就可以了 |
[04:16] | Move to call a moratorium on the words “grab,” “squeeze,” | 在婚礼前 请暂停使用”抓””挤” |
[04:19] | and “sprays” till the wedding. | “喷”这些词 |
[04:30] | Damn! That’s hot. | 天啊! 真性感 |
[04:33] | And me without any singles to stuff down his pants. | 我什么都不做 就能看到他裤子里的东西 |
[04:36] | Well, I better go dry off in the men’s room. | 我还是去男厕所弄干吧 |
[04:39] | Don’t be too long in that stall. | 别占着茅坑太久 |
[04:41] | I’ve got a date with the Land O’Lakes butter package lady | 我下次中间休息时 还要跟拿着蓝多湖黄油袋子的女士 |
[04:44] | on my next break. | 约会 |
[04:53] | Oh. Pardon me, ladies. I’m all wet. | 对不起 女士们 我全湿了 |
[04:59] | Max? Are you seeing what I’m seeing? | Max? 你看到我眼前的景象了吗? |
[05:02] | Those ladies looking at him like he’s a senior special | 那些女生看着他 就好像他是Sizzler’s(泰国)餐厅的 |
[05:04] | at Sizzler’s? | 高级服务生? |
[05:08] | We might not be able to get Nash fired, | 我们也许不能让Nash被炒 |
[05:10] | but we can get him hired as a fashion model. | 但我们可以让他被雇为时尚模特 |
[05:12] | Look at their faces. | 看看她们的脸 |
[05:14] | He could be the future bulge of Calvin Klein. | 他可以成为CK(时装品牌)的未来巨星 |
[05:17] | Now you’re talking about the future? | 你现在在聊未来吗? |
[05:19] | Why can’t you just accept that we are stuck | 你怎么就不肯承认 我们因一个很垃圾的礼物 |
[05:21] | with a really crappy present? | 而陷入困境了呢? |
[05:23] | Quit trash-talking the Spritzy 5000! | 不准说”喷头5000″的坏话! |
[05:32] | Good afternoon. Welcome to The High. | 下午好 欢迎光临”糕潮” |
[05:34] | I’ll have somebody get you some water. | 我去让人给你拿杯水 |
[05:36] | Not me, ’cause I’m past that. | 不是我 因为我不做这种事了 |
[05:39] | You know, here. | 也就在这里不做 |
[05:41] | I think I just sat another one of those lesbian blind-dates | 我觉得我又为了我们老板 让一个拉拉相亲会的人 |
[05:43] | for our boss. | 坐下了 |
[05:45] | It’s hard out there for a pimp. | 在外面给皮条客干活真不容易 |
[05:48] | Why do you think I got out of pimping? | 你为什么以为我不干拉皮条了? |
[05:50] | That and someone broke a beer bottle over my head. | 因为有人在我头上爆了一个啤酒瓶 |
[05:52] | So, did you get Nash a modeling job yet? | 你给Nash找到模特工作了吗? |
[05:54] | I’m working on it. | 我正在找 |
[05:56] | It’s not like I can just call Tyra Banks. | 这不是给泰拉·班克斯(超模)打个电话就行的 |
[05:59] | Well, that’s what her people said when I called. | 那是我打过去的时候 她的人说的 |
[06:01] | Ugh, phone therapy ran long. | 呃 电话治疗进行了好久 |
[06:05] | Apparently I have more issues than I realized | 显然 罗茜(主持)离开”观点”节目给我带来的问题 |
[06:07] | about Rosie leaving The View. | 比想象中更多 |
[06:11] | Are my dates here yet? | 我的约会对象们到了吗? |
[06:14] | Please don’t tell me it’s her, her, or her. | 不要告诉我 是她 她 或者她 |
[06:16] | It’s her, her, and her. | 就是她 她 以及她 |
[06:20] | Lose them. | 赶走她们 |
[06:22] | How am I supposed to get rid of them? | 我要怎么赶走她们? |
[06:23] | Just say what anyone says when they want a lesbian to leave, | 大家想让拉拉走的时候怎么说的 就怎么说 |
[06:26] | “There’s a Subaru outside that’s about to get a ticket.” | “外面有辆斯巴鲁 可以拿到票哦” |
[06:29] | If you had you told me, ten years ago, | 你要是在十年前告诉我 |
[06:31] | I’d be on a dating site called “Lez Meet Up,” | 我会上一个约会网站 叫”拉拉约会” |
[06:35] | I would’ve told the youth pastor I was married to, | 我就会告诉那位跟我结过婚的年轻牧师 |
[06:38] | “You’ve lost your mind.” | “你已经疯了” |
[06:45] | Oh, I just got some interest | 哦 我刚收到 |
[06:46] | from the Del Monico Modeling Agency. | Del Monico模特经纪公司的回复 |
[06:48] | But for the interview, he needs photos. | 但他要有照片去面试 |
[06:50] | And not just the pictures of his butt on your phone. | 不能是你手机里他屁股的照片 |
[06:53] | Fine, you handle it. | 好吧 你搞定 |
[06:55] | The only thing I know about modeling is | 我对于模特行业的了解仅限于 |
[06:57] | a couple of years ago, I was the face of shingles on WebMD. | 几年前 我曾是医疗网上带状疱疹的封面模特 |
[07:09] | Girls, perfect timing to ask me to do this photo shoot. | 姑娘们 来让我拍照的时机刚刚好 |
[07:12] | The FBI just gave me my camera back last week. | 联邦调查局上周刚把我的相机还给我 |
[07:15] | Oh, so you get your camera back, | 他们把你的相机还给你了 |
[07:18] | but I’m still waiting on that kilo of coke | 可我却还在等那一公斤的 |
[07:19] | that I spent hours carefully filling my butt with? | 我花了几小时小心塞满我屁股的可卡因? |
[07:24] | Let me just change the settings. | 我来改一下设置 |
[07:26] | This camera is used to taking pictures from 800 feet away. | 这台相机原本是用来拍摄800英尺(250米)外的照片的 |
[07:31] | And we want those pictures back, Oleg! | 把照片还给我们 Oleg! |
[07:35] | Hey, everybody! | 嘿 大家好! |
[07:37] | Just call me “rush hour traffic” | 就管我这叫”高潮期”吧 |
[07:38] | ’cause I sure am horny. | 因为我太饥渴了 |
[07:42] | Oh, Caroline, I do not know how you go years, and years, | 哦 Caroline 真不知道你这么多多 |
[07:47] | and years, and years, and years, and years | 多多多多年 |
[07:50] | without doing the nasty. | 是怎么守住贞操的 |
[07:53] | It’s only been years and years. | 这才这么多多年 |
[07:56] | – Come on. – And years. | – 拜托 – 多多多年 |
[07:58] | Well, I could go for a brisket sandwich. | 我想来份鲜肉三明治 |
[08:01] | We’re closed, Sophie. | 打烊了 Sophie |
[08:02] | I know. I got one in my purse. | 我知道 我自己有带 |
[08:06] | And why are you doing the photo shoot in this skanky dishroom? | 还有你们为什么在这肮脏的洗碗间里拍大片? |
[08:09] | Because we’re going with the “hot dishwasher” angle. | 因为我们打算用”性感洗碗工”的主题 |
[08:13] | The agency said every model needs a hook. | 经纪公司说每个模特都要有勾引人的噱头 |
[08:15] | Yeah, like how Cindy Crawford has a beauty mark | 比如辛迪·克劳馥的美人痣 |
[08:17] | and Anna Nicole Smith is dead. | 还有安娜·妮可·史密斯的死 |
[08:19] | Yeah, yeah. My sister is a model in Poland and she has a hook. | 没错 我妹妹在波兰也是名模特 她也有”勾”引人的地方 |
[08:24] | It’s her left hand, yeah. It’s is also great for kabobs. | 就是她的左手 用来烤肉串一级棒 |
[08:28] | Come on, Nash! | 出来吧 Nash! |
[08:30] | Put a little Irish Spring in your step. | 脚步里带点爱尔兰的活力 |
[08:32] | I’m a little nervous. | 我有点小紧张 |
[08:34] | The only other time I had my picture taken was at school. | 我唯一一次拍照是在学校 |
[08:37] | The priest said he needed a shirtless one for the roll call. | 神父说他需要一个光膀子的人来点名 |
[08:41] | Where did he go to school, Our Lady of To Catch a Predator? | 你上的是什么学校 “猎捕恋童癖”圣母学院? |
[08:41] | 美国真人秀节目 | |
[08:45] | Wow. You sure look hot. | 喔 真的好性感 |
[08:49] | Careful, Sophie. | 说话注意点 Sophie |
[08:50] | That’s my brisket. | 这是我的小鲜肉 |
[08:52] | I’m not talking about Daniel Day-Loser here. | 我说的可不是这位丹尼尔·戴-卢瑟 |
[08:52] | 丹尼尔·戴-刘易斯 奥斯卡影帝 爱尔兰籍 | |
[08:55] | I’m talking about Oleg. | 我说的是Oleg |
[09:00] | You are sweating like an old knockwurst | 你全身流汗就像是条被太阳 |
[09:04] | that has been left out in the sun. | 烤出油的老香肠 |
[09:09] | It’s really breathtaking. | 让人垂涎欲滴 |
[09:13] | Okay, Nash, stand over here near the hose | 好了 Nash 拿着水管站在这 |
[09:17] | and give me hot face, dead eyes. | 摆出目光呆滞的性感面孔 |
[09:20] | You know, like me when I mix NyQuil and DayQuil. | 就像我把白加黑的日夜片混着吃一样 |
[09:22] | I call it AfternoonQuil. | 我管它叫下午片 |
[09:24] | Okay. Now I’m gonna start shooting. | 好了 我要开始拍摄了 |
[09:26] | Yeah. Shoot, baby! Shoot! | 对 摄起来 宝贝! 摄起来! |
[09:30] | What do you think? | 你觉得怎样? |
[09:32] | Well, he’s stiff, but not in the good way. | 表情的确僵硬 但不是无神那种 |
[09:34] | Ugh, this is painful. | 啊 真是受不了 |
[09:36] | He’s like Susan Boyle without the star quality. | 他就像是没星范的苏珊·鲍尔 |
[09:36] | 苏珊·鲍尔: 因参加”英国达人秀”而一夜爆红 | |
[09:39] | We need a little of what he had the other day. | 我们得弄成像上次那样 |
[09:41] | You’ll thank me for this later. | 你之后会为此感谢我的 |
[09:46] | Yes, Nash, yes! | 对 Nash 就是这样! |
[09:48] | Tear your shirt! | 把衣服撕破! |
[09:52] | – Yeah, yeah. – Oh, yeah, yeah. | – 就是这样 – 哦 就是这样 |
[09:58] | Stop! | 住手! |
[10:02] | What the hell is happening in here? | 这里什么情况? |
[10:05] | I didn’t give anyone permission to use my diner | 我没同意把餐厅借给你们 |
[10:07] | for a photo shoot. | 拍大片啊 |
[10:09] | Calm down. | 别激动 |
[10:10] | We are trying to get him a modeling job. | 我们想帮他找份模特的工作 |
[10:12] | He has a job! He’s my number one worker. | 他有工作! 他是我的头号员工 |
[10:15] | Like the doctor said to your mother when you were born, | 就像医生在你妈生你时说的话 |
[10:18] | tough break. | 运气不佳 |
[10:19] | You two crows don’t let me have anything! | 你们两个坏家伙什么都不肯给我! |
[10:27] | Okay, Nash, part of the model audish | 好了 Nash 模特面试的一部分 |
[10:29] | is to see how you’d be as a performer in commercials, | 是看你在广告里的表现 |
[10:32] | and movies, and other things people don’t watch anymore. | 还有电影 还有别的没人看的东西 |
[10:34] | Now, obviously, right out of the gate, | 显然 作为新手 |
[10:36] | you’re not gonna be as good as that duck who says “Aflac,” | 你比不上Aflac广告里的白鸭子 |
[10:40] | but you’ve got to be at least as good as Ben Affleck. | 但你至少要比本·阿弗莱克强 |
[10:43] | I can help. For a time, I had a rich acting career. | 我能帮上忙 有段时间 我的演艺事业挺辉煌的 |
[10:46] | It started with a starring role in Annie, | 最开始是”安妮”里的一个小角色 |
[10:48] | and ended when I portrayed Rosa Parks | 最后扮演的是罗莎·帕克斯 |
[10:48] | 罗莎·帕克斯: 黑人人权运动之母 | |
[10:49] | in an ill-advised high school production | 因为这个考虑不周的高中舞台剧 |
[10:51] | that led to an investigation by the NAACP. | 引起了有色人种协进会的调查 |
[10:53] | Ooh, this is a commercial for breakfast cereal! | 哦 这是早餐麦片的广告! |
[10:57] | Ah! Every actor’s dream! | 啊! 每个演员的梦想啊! |
[11:00] | Hey, Nash, read this. | 嘿 Nash 读一下 |
[11:01] | Think James Dean. | 想象自己是詹姆斯·迪恩 |
[11:01] | 詹姆斯·迪恩: 好莱坞青春偶像 | |
[11:03] | But alive and eating Cocoa Puffs. | 但要有生气 还要假装在吃可可米花 |
[11:07] | “Cocoa Puffs are a delicious part | “美味的可可米花是任何 |
[11:09] | of any well-balanced breakfast.” | 营养搭配的早餐的必备品” |
[11:14] | I’m trying to find a nice way to say… | 我在想要怎么说得客气… |
[11:15] | You suck, bro. | 你逊毙了 伙计 |
[11:19] | You… you get it. | 你… 你懂吧 |
[11:21] | You know the thrill of eating chocolate | 在通常不吃巧克力的时段 |
[11:23] | at a traditionally non-chocolatey time of day. | 吃巧克力的兴奋感 |
[11:26] | Let’s tap into that. | 往这方向想 |
[11:29] | Okay. Take it from the top. | 好的 从头开始 |
[11:30] | And this time, go cuckoo. | 但这一次 疯狂(杜鹃)点 |
[11:30] | 麦片的吉祥物 | |
[11:33] | Go cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. | 我为可可米花狂 |
[11:36] | “Cocoa Puffs are a delicious…” | “美味的可可米花…” |
[11:37] | Stop. | 打住 |
[11:39] | Don’t phone this in. It’s not Raisin Bran. | 别这样子来 这不是葡萄干麦片 |
[11:43] | “Pocoa Cuffs are a delicious…” | “美味的割口迷花…” |
[11:44] | “Pocoa Cuffs”? | “割口迷花”? |
[11:46] | Pocoa Cuffs? | 割口迷花? |
[11:49] | I just can’t with these rank amateurs, Caroline. | 我受不了这些糟糕透顶的业余者 Caroline |
[11:53] | Max, calm down. | Max 冷静点 |
[11:54] | It’s a fake tryout for a cereal commercial, | 这是麦片广告的试演 |
[11:56] | not Dance Moms. | 不是”舞蹈妈妈” |
[11:56] | 舞蹈真人秀 其中的舞蹈老师略毒舌 | |
[12:00] | I’m nervous. I’m not an actor. | 我太紧张了 我不是演戏的料 |
[12:02] | Uh, no, you are not. | 可不 你才不是 |
[12:04] | Give me that. | 把它给我 |
[12:07] | Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. | 啊哈 啊哈 啊哈 |
[12:09] | Got it. | 行了 |
[12:12] | Cocoa Puffs are a delicious part of any well-balanced breakfast! | 美味的可可米花是任何早餐的必备品! |
[12:16] | They’re good for you, which parents love, | 有益健康 父母最爱 |
[12:17] | and they taste like candy, which I love! | 糖果味道 我的最爱! |
[12:20] | I can’t help it! I’m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! | 我忍不住了! 我为可可米花狂! |
[12:23] | Cuckoo! | 狂! |
[12:26] | I’m tearing up, and it’s not just the black mold in here. | 我要流泪了 而且不是因为这房间里长了黑霉 |
[12:31] | Max, I think you may have just set the acting bar too high. | Max 我觉得你把演戏水准定太高了 |
[12:34] | Oh. | 哦 |
[12:36] | I’ve never set a bar too high before. | 我从没把酒吧闹得太嗨过(标准定太高) |
[12:39] | I’ve set a bar on fire and I’ve left a bar too high. | 我只是烧过酒吧 嗨着离开酒吧过 |
[12:43] | Oh, hey, girls. | 嘿 姑娘们 |
[12:44] | Oh, do you mind if I hang down here with you for a while? | 介意我在你们这待一会儿吗? |
[12:47] | Oleg is up there, he’s trying to seduce me | Oleg在楼上 他想色诱我 |
[12:50] | by cleaning the apartment. | 他正在打扫公寓呢 |
[12:52] | And it’s, oh, oh, so dirty. | 而且那场面 太”肮脏”了 |
[12:58] | Oh, oh, he’s vacuuming now, which means he’s naked. | 不好 他在用真空吸尘器 也就是说他也是”真空”的 |
[13:02] | Oh, me and my Polish values. | 哎 我和我的波兰价值观啊 |
[13:07] | Polish Values? | 波兰价值观? |
[13:09] | That’s the name of my favorite dollar store in Brooklyn. | 跟我在布鲁克林最喜欢的一元店同名啊 |
[13:13] | Oh, he’s deep-cleaning the shag. | 啊 他在深层清理那团粗毛 |
[13:17] | Oh, my God. Somebody, do something | 天啊 来个人帮帮我 |
[13:19] | to make me not want sex. | 别让我老想着滚床单 |
[13:22] | All right, Nash, why don’t you show us your runway walk? | 好了 Nash 展示下你的台步吧? |
[13:28] | That was it. | 就这样 |
[13:30] | Oh, I thought you were going to pick up a pen. | 我还以为你要去拿支笔呢 |
[13:33] | Thanks, perfect. | 谢谢 好极了 |
[13:35] | Now I’m completely turned off. | 现在性趣全无了 |
[13:39] | Watching that potato walk across the room really did the trick. | 看那家伙走过去 简直出奇地有效 |
[13:44] | Nash, concentrate. | Nash 集中精力 |
[13:45] | Follow my lead. | 跟我学 |
[13:47] | Bam. Pow. Bam. Pow. | 右扭 左扭 右扭 左扭 |
[13:48] | And step and bam, and step and pow, | 前一步右扭 转过身左扭 |
[13:50] | and step and bam! | 退一步右扭! |
[13:52] | Oh, even better! | 这下更好了! |
[13:55] | I mean, after that, they could film the sequel | 看完这个 我可以拿私处 |
[13:58] | to Frozen on my lady parts. | 拍”冰雪奇缘”续集了 |
[14:04] | Yeah, me too. | 同感 |
[14:06] | But just ’cause I “Let It Go” down there. | 因为我的下面”随它吧” |
[14:13] | Oh, now he’s using the wand attachment. | 哦 他现在用(飞机杯)吸头了 |
[14:18] | Oh, and he’s getting real deep between the cushions. | 哦 他都深入枕间了 |
[14:22] | Oh, my God, just screw it. | 受不鸟了 管他的呢 |
[14:25] | I’m never gonna make it to the wedding! | 老娘憋不到婚礼了! |
[14:30] | Oh, Grandma Kuchenski, please forgive me | Kuchenski祖母 饶过我吧 |
[14:33] | for what I’m about to do. | 我就要上了 |
[14:34] | I… | 我… |
[14:36] | Well, you were no White Lily yourself! | 你自己也不是什么圣女! |
[14:48] | Wow. | 哇哦 |
[14:51] | He’s bamming and powing up a storm. | 他走得很熟练 |
[14:53] | When he’s famous, I hope he remembers us. | 他出名了以后希望他还能记得我们 |
[14:56] | Pfft. I’d like to think I did some things he will never forget. | 噗 我觉得我已经做了让他终生难忘的事 |
[15:00] | How’s that? | 怎么样? |
[15:01] | Great, you can walk. | 非常好 你会走台步 |
[15:03] | If you can read too, I’ll treat myself to a Snapple. | 如果你广告词也能念好 我就去喝杯红茶庆祝一下 |
[15:07] | Let’s get to the copy. | 来读读台词吧 |
[15:09] | Actually, we came prepared. | 实际上 我们是有备而来的 |
[15:10] | Nash rehearsed the Cocoa Puffs commercial. | Nash准备了可可米花的广告 |
[15:12] | I think you’ll be quite moved. | 我想你会被他打动的 |
[15:14] | Oh yeah, well, we’ll be reading something | 是吗 今天我们要读点 |
[15:16] | a little different today. | 不一样的内容 |
[15:19] | Don’t panic. They do this all the time. | 别慌 这种情况经常发生 |
[15:21] | They want to make sure you’re flexible. | 他们就是想看看你能否随机应变 |
[15:23] | Yeah. Go ahead, Nash. | 开始吧 Nash |
[15:24] | Whatever cereal it is, act like it’s delicious. | 不管是什么牌子的麦片 假装它很好吃就行了 |
[15:28] | Unless it’s Rice Krispies. A-boring! | 除非是”米脆”的 它们的广告太无聊! |
[15:31] | Okay, here goes. | 好的 我开始了 |
[15:34] | “You know you like it. | “你知道你喜欢的 |
[15:35] | Bend over, bitch.” | 弯下身去 骚货” |
[15:38] | Uh, are we missing a page? | 我们是拿漏了一页吗? |
[15:41] | Cereals have changed since I was a kid. | 和我小时候知道的麦片广告差太多了 |
[15:45] | Should I read the part where I notice | 我要读那段发现老师 |
[15:46] | the teacher’s not wearing any panties? | 没穿内裤的内容吗? |
[15:48] | Oh, my God. This is porn! | 天啊 这是色情片! |
[15:49] | No wonder all those people out there were freaks. | 怪不得外面等着的人都好奇怪 |
[15:52] | No wonder I recognized so many of them. | 怪不得我居然能认出这么多个 |
[15:56] | Don’t act so surprised. | 别大惊小怪的 |
[15:58] | Everyone knows Cocoa Puffs is code for porn. | 是人都知道可可米花就是色情片的代号 |
[16:02] | Also, you sent us some pictures taken by someone | 而且你们寄来的照片是个色情作品 |
[16:05] | very experienced in erotica. | 经验丰富的摄影师拍的 |
[16:09] | We can’t let him do this. | 我们不能让他干这个 |
[16:11] | I have a movie that starts shooting tomorrow | 我手头有一部明天开拍的电影 |
[16:13] | that pays $1,000 a day. | 报酬是一千美元一天 |
[16:15] | Can we? | 我们能让他干吗? |
[16:18] | Maybe we can’t. | 也许不能吧 |
[16:19] | It’s the lead in Sorest Rump. | 是在”痛感翘臀”里演主角 |
[16:27] | Maybe we can. | 也许可以啊 |
[16:30] | I think we need a little sidebar, Delores. | Delores 我觉得我们需要私下讨论一下 |
[16:32] | Should I come with you? | 我要一起来吗? |
[16:33] | No, we’re good. | 不 不用 |
[16:35] | I have a couple of questions for the actor. | 我有点问题要问试镜演员 |
[16:37] | Can you swim, and are you circumcised? | 你会游泳吗 受过割礼吗? |
[16:41] | Max, this has gone too far. | Max 这太过火了 |
[16:43] | I know, I was expecting you to just crash with me | 我知道 我一开始也只是以为你是来暂住几天 |
[16:45] | for a couple of days and get your own place. | 然后就会找到自己的公寓 |
[16:48] | Are we really gonna let Nash do porn | 我们真的要为了不让他在餐厅工作 |
[16:51] | just so he doesn’t work at the diner? | 而把他赶去拍色情片吗? |
[16:53] | Hey, ladies, what’s it gonna be? | 小姐们 你们讨论出据结果了吗? |
[16:55] | I got other talent to see. | 我还有很多演员要面试 |
[16:57] | I got a guy named Lustin Beaver | 有个叫Lustin Beaver(恶搞Justin Bieber)的 |
[17:00] | taking the Amtrak in from Philly. | 从费城赶火车过来试镜 |
[17:05] | Max, if you’re really keen on me being a porn actor, | Max 如果你真的那么想让我做一个色情演员 |
[17:08] | I’ll do it. | 那我就做了 |
[17:09] | She says, tomorrow, they start filming | 她说明天他们就要开拍一部叫 |
[17:11] | The Grand Booty Fest Hotel. | “大臀盛宴大饭店”的电影 |
[17:15] | And, they’ll pay me more for my accent. | 而且我有口音 他们会多给点钱 |
[17:17] | Also, what does “gay for pay” mean? | 还有”为钱掰弯的直男”是什么意思? |
[17:17] | gay for pay: 指为了赚钱而演同性色情片的直男 | |
[17:23] | Ugh, I guess it means we got to go. | 呃 我觉得那是我们该走了的意思 |
[17:32] | Look at him, Max. | Max 你看看他 |
[17:34] | A cute guy, eaten up and spat out by show business | 一个帅小伙 却被演艺圈蚕食并抛弃 |
[17:37] | like so many Baldwin brothers before him. | 和在他之前的所有帅哥一样 |
[17:41] | Nash doesn’t care about modeling. | Nash根本不在乎做不做模特 |
[17:43] | He’s 21. He doesn’t care about anything. | 他才21岁 他什么都不在乎 |
[17:45] | His biggest concern is playing with the XBox. | 他最在乎的就是玩XBox(游戏机) |
[17:48] | Mine and, also, the popular video game system. | 我这台 还有最流行的那一款 |
[17:51] | He cares about you. | 他在乎你呀 |
[17:53] | He was willing to do “gay for pay”. | 他甚至愿意为了你去当”为钱掰弯的直男” |
[17:55] | Did I hear Nash is going “gay for pay”? | Nash真的要做”为钱掰弯的直男”吗? |
[18:00] | ‘Cause I’ve got $4 burning a hole in my pocket. | 我口袋里的4美金已经跃跃欲试了 |
[18:04] | Oh, a customer. | 哦 有顾客来了 |
[18:06] | Hi, welcome to The High. Here for dessert? | 欢迎光临”糕潮” 您是来吃甜品的吗? |
[18:08] | Oh, thanks but I haven’t had cake since my Sweet 16, | 谢谢 我从16岁生日之后就不吃甜品了 |
[18:11] | and even then, I made myself throw it up. | 而且当时我也把生日蛋糕吐出来了 |
[18:15] | I’m meeting someone here and my phone’s about to die. | 我约了人在这里见面 但我的手机快没电了 |
[18:17] | And if it dies, I will too. Do you have an outlet? | 我和手机共存亡 你这里有插座吗? |
[18:20] | Screaming in the shower really works for me. | 淋雨的时候大叫能帮我缓解焦虑 |
[18:22] | Like, right into the water. | 把焦虑宣泄给洗澡水 |
[18:25] | Super cute. But I do need a phone outlet. | 很有意思 但我真的需要充电器 |
[18:28] | I’ll plug you in, honey, | 我会给你充电的 亲爱的 |
[18:29] | and I’ll take care of your phone, too. | 当然也会让你的手机电量满格 |
[18:32] | Girls, meet Marie. | 女士们 这是Marie |
[18:34] | Hi. Seriously, down to 10%. | 嗨 我说真的 已经只有10%的电了 |
[18:37] | Oh, did you two meet on “Lez Meet Up”? | 噢 你们是在”拉拉约会”网上认识的吗? |
[18:39] | No, honey, I’ve never been on “Lez Meet Up”. | 不是 亲爱的 我从来没上过”拉拉约会”网 |
[18:43] | Oh, you’re thinking of me, Caroline. | 你说的那个是我 Caroline |
[18:46] | You know how much I love lady tail. | 我超喜欢女人的尾骨 |
[18:49] | This place is amazing. | 这地方是在是太棒了 |
[18:51] | Isn’t it amazing? | 很棒不是吗? |
[18:53] | I had the decorator redo it nine times. | 我让室内装潢师重做了九遍 |
[18:56] | You can feel his anger in the walls. | 你可以感受到他的怒火从墙壁里渗出来 |
[18:59] | It’s electric. | 令人兴奋 |
[19:00] | We’re electric. Who is this miracle? | 我们很来电 这个尤物是谁? |
[19:03] | That’s Nash. I found him in the Bowery | 他是Nash 我在鲍厄里 |
[19:05] | next to a pile of burning trash. | 一堆焚烧的垃圾旁边找到他的 |
[19:08] | Go say hi. | 去打个招呼 |
[19:10] | He’s even creamier and more delicious up close. | 靠近看你会发觉他更加鲜嫩 秀色可餐 |
[19:14] | You’re eating? That is so punk rock. | 你在吃东西? 太朋克风了 |
[19:16] | Tell me everything right now. | 快告诉我你的情况 |
[19:18] | Uh, well, I’m a dishwasher. | 好吧 我是个洗碗工 |
[19:20] | I’m from Ireland. | 我来自爱尔兰 |
[19:22] | Oh, I was trying to become a model | 我之前想当个模特 |
[19:24] | and I almost did porn an hour ago. | 然后一小时之前我差点就去演色情片了 |
[19:26] | That is the best story I ever heard. | 这是我听过最棒的故事了 |
[19:29] | Tell it to me again standing up. | 站起来再讲一遍刚刚的故事 |
[19:30] | But this time, don’t talk. | 但是这次别用说的 |
[19:33] | I see face, I see ass, I see model. | 颜值可以 臀部不错 是个模特的料 |
[19:36] | Do you have a manager? | 你有经纪人吗? |
[19:38] | I guess that’d be Caroline, the blonde one over there. | 我觉得应该是Caroline 那边那个金发的 |
[19:41] | Blonde one, come over here and talk to me about your client. | 金发的女孩 过来和我聊聊你的委托人 |
[19:44] | I am in love. He’s perfection. | 我爱上他了 他简直完美 |
[19:47] | Marie Prower, Senior VP of Marketing. | Marie Prower 市场部高级副总监 |
[19:49] | Sweet, what company? | 太棒了 哪家公司的? |
[19:50] | Guess. | Guess(你猜) |
[19:51] | Um, Tommy Hilfinger. | 汤米·希尔费格(美国休闲领导品牌) |
[19:54] | I work for Guess, darling. | 亲爱的 我是Guess公司的 |
[19:56] | No more words. Listen. | 什么都别说了 听着 |
[19:58] | He’s amazing. | 他棒极了 |
[20:00] | I would tweet about him right now, but my phone is dead. | 我想要在tweet上宣传他的 可惜我手机没电了 |
[20:02] | So bring him into my office on Monday. | 所以你们周一把他带到我办公室来一趟 |
[20:05] | You heard her, Caroline. | 你听到她说的了 Caroline |
[20:06] | Bring him into her office tomorrow. | 明天把他带去她办公室 |
[20:09] | She’s obsessed with me. | 她已经迷上我了 |
[20:12] | Max, I was right. He is a model. | Max 我没看错 他是个模特的料 |
[20:15] | Get me a hot wife and a hotter woman to cheat on her with, | 给我找个性感的老婆 然后我再和另一个性感的女人出轨 |
[20:18] | ’cause I’m a big-time talent manager. | 我可是个大牌经纪人 |
[20:22] | Congratulations, dude. | 恭喜啊 |
[20:24] | Well, I guess if this works out, I’m gonna have to quit my job | 如果这件事成功的话 我可能要辞去 |
[20:26] | at the diner. | 餐厅的工作了 |
[20:28] | Will you be mad at me? | 你会生我的气吗? |
[20:31] | I’ll be really sad. | 我会非常伤心的 |
[20:34] | I’m gonna miss you a lot, you know? | 我会很想念你的 知道吗? |
[20:36] | Not seeing you 24/7. | 不能时时刻刻见到你 |
[20:38] | But I would hate myself if I didn’t let you | 但如果我阻止你追求梦想的话 |
[20:41] | follow your dreams. | 我会恨死我自己的 |
[20:43] | Even if it means you moving out of the apartment, too. | 即使那意味着你要搬出去住了 |
[20:48] | Now go. | 去吧 |
[20:51] | Here comes that tear again. | 眼泪都流出来了 |
[20:53] | I’m all choked up. | 我都要哽咽了 |
[20:55] | Max, you would have made a great Rosa Parks. | Max 你演罗莎·帕克斯一定很棒 |
[20:59] | If you had been black | 如果你是黑人的话 |
[21:01] | which I guess is what they insist on. | 我猜他们关注的点就是这个 |
[21:05] | But you got him to move out! You are good. | 但至少你让他搬出去了! 你真棒 |
[21:08] | Yeah, well, I mean… he is cute, but… | 他也许长得是帅 不过… |
[21:11] | I’m not all that coo coo for his Cocoa Puffs. | 但我也没那么为他痴狂 |