| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Here you go. | 给你 |
| [00:02] | And I hope you enjoyed dinner and the show. | 希望你好好享受这顿晚饭 还有我的表演 |
| [00:04] | The show being me pretending I’m happy as a waitress. | 就是我假装我在这里当服务员很开心 |
| [00:08] | Caroline, where is Max? | Caroline Max在哪? |
| [00:10] | And I’ve already checked the bowels of hell. | 我已经把十八层地狱都翻了个遍 |
| [00:12] | Yeah, I know where I work. | 是啊 我知道我在什么鬼地方工作 |
| [00:15] | Max is going to be late today | Max今天得迟到了 |
| [00:17] | ’cause she got stuck on the subway. | 因为她被困在地铁上了 |
| [00:18] | But you said yesterday she was late | 但昨天你也说她迟到 |
| [00:19] | because she was stuck on the subway. | 是因为她被困在地铁上了 |
| [00:21] | No, I believe I said yesterday she got stuck under the subway. | 不对吧 我记得我昨天说的是她被卡在地铁轮子下面了 |
| [00:26] | Oleg, a little help. | Oleg 来帮帮忙 |
| [00:28] | Oh, Max? | 哦 你说Max? |
| [00:29] | Today she got stuck on a bus. | 她今天被困在公交车上了 |
| [00:31] | And you said that the day before yesterday. | 你前天也这么说 |
| [00:34] | – Earl? – She got stuck between the moon | – Earl? – 她被困在月亮 |
| [00:37] | and New York City. | 和纽约市的中间了 |
| [00:39] | I know it’s crazy, but it’s true. | 我知道这有点疯狂 不过这是真事 |
| [00:43] | Sorry I’m late. | 对不起我迟到了 |
| [00:44] | I couldn’t find our cat, Nancy. | 我找不到我们的猫Nancy了 |
| [00:46] | Also, I was stuck on the bus or under the subway. | 我还被困在公交车上 或者是卡在地铁轮子下面了 |
| [00:50] | Unless they told you something different, | 如果他们说的和我的不一样 |
| [00:51] | then I was doing that. | 那以他们的为准 |
| [00:53] | Oh, come on. That excuse was less satisfying | 哦 拜托 那个借口 |
| [00:56] | than the end of Serial. | 比”系列”广播剧结束还糟 |
| [00:59] | Max, really, what do you take me for? | Max 说真的 你到底是怎么对我的? |
| [01:01] | Well, I know where I can’t take you. | 嗯 我知道我不能怎么对你 |
| [01:03] | On the big rides at Disneyland. | 我不能带你去迪士尼乐园玩 |
| [01:07] | Nancy still hasn’t come home. | Nancy还没有回家 |
| [01:09] | I’m freaking out. | 我要疯掉了 |
| [01:10] | She’s the only thing I love. | 我这辈子只爱她一个 |
| [01:12] | Whatever. | 管他呢 |
| [01:14] | I had a cat once. He was cool. | 我以前也有一只猫 他很酷 |
| [01:17] | He was black and very sexually active. | 他是黑色的 而且非常性活跃 |
| [01:21] | Oh, wait, the cool cat I’m talking about was me. | 哦 等等 我说的这只酷猫就是我 |
| [01:26] | Earl, be careful, at your age, you could die having sex. | Earl 小心点 你这把年纪了 性爱会要你命 |
| [01:29] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [01:30] | Those ladies don’t know whether I’m coming or going. | 那些女人根本就不会知道我是射了还是泄了 |
| [01:52] | I think Nancy might be gone for good. | 我觉得Nancy可能再也不会回来了 |
| [01:54] | I just can’t believe she didn’t take me with her. | 我就是无法相信她竟然没带我一起走 |
| [01:56] | We had a deal. | 我们都约好了 |
| [01:57] | Max, she’ll come back to the apartment, | Max 就算她不想回来 |
| [01:59] | even if she doesn’t want to. | 她也会来的 |
| [02:01] | I mean, I always do. | 我是说 我就是这样的 |
| [02:03] | I am not surprised you’re not worried. | 我完全不讶异于你的淡定 |
| [02:05] | You never really liked Nancy. | 你一直都不怎么喜欢Nancy |
| [02:06] | You call her “that cat.” | 你总是叫她”那只猫” |
| [02:09] | As in, “that cat” peed on my pillow. | 还说”那只猫”在我枕头上撒尿了 |
| [02:13] | While I was sleeping on it, Max. | 就在我睡觉的时候 Max |
| [02:17] | Well, blame me. I got her drunk. | 好吧 怪我咯 我让她喝醉的 |
| [02:20] | Hey, everybody! | 嘿 大家好! |
| [02:25] | Look, girls, I got your pussy in my purse. | 姑娘们 你们那玩意儿在我包里 |
| [02:29] | Either that’s a cat, or you two got to keep better track | 她要么指的是猫 要不然你们两个人就得 |
| [02:31] | of your belongings. | 找找自己的器官了 |
| [02:35] | Yay! | 耶! |
| [02:37] | That cat’s back. | 那只猫回来了 |
| [02:41] | See, Max? | 看到了吧 Max? |
| [02:42] | I am excited. | 我很激动 |
| [02:45] | Oh, I missed you so much. | 哦 我想死你了 |
| [02:47] | Oh, yes, I did. | 是啊 是啊 |
| [02:49] | That’s not Nancy. | 那不是Nancy |
| [02:52] | That is a boy. | 这是只公的 |
| [02:54] | Well, Max, sorry I don’t check out a cat’s junk | 好吧 Max 对不起 我没有第一时间 |
| [02:55] | the second it comes through the door. | 就去检查那只猫的器官 |
| [02:57] | Yeah, you only look at the face. | 是啊 你只看脸 |
| [02:59] | That’s the difference between you and me. | 这就是我们俩的差异所在 |
| [03:03] | See, look, the name tag says “Cinnamon.” | 你看 这个名牌上写着”小肉桂” |
| [03:06] | No wonder that little girl kept crying and saying, | 怪不得那个小女孩一直在哭个不停 还说 |
| [03:09] | “Give me Cinnamon, Give me Cinnamon.” | “把肉桂给我 把肉桂给我” |
| [03:12] | I looked her right in the eye and I said, | 我看着她的眼睛说 |
| [03:15] | “I don’t carry spices in my purse.” | “人家包里没有携带香料” |
| [03:19] | Max, you are completely overreacting. | Max 你完全反应过度了 |
| [03:21] | – It’s just a… – Oh! Just a what? | – 这只是… – 哦! 只是什么? |
| [03:23] | Say it! | 说啊! |
| [03:25] | It’s just a cat. | 只是一只猫啊 |
| [03:27] | You! | 你! |
| [03:29] | Hey, I’m the one who fronted us that dollar to get her name tag. | 嘿 它的名牌还是我花了一块钱给它弄的 |
| [03:32] | Thanks to me, someone’s gonna pick her up, | 多亏了我 会有人把她捡起来 |
| [03:34] | look at it, and say, “Oh, you must be lost, | 看着她 然后说 “哦 你一定是迷路了 |
| [03:36] | little… cat.” | 小…猫” |
| [03:38] | Nancy! Her name’s Nancy! | Nancy! 她叫Nancy! |
| [03:40] | I know her name! | 我知道她叫什么! |
| [03:42] | It got momentarily pushed out of my head | 我只是暂时想不起来了 |
| [03:43] | to make room for those 1,600 cupcake T-shirts | 因为我们还有1600件纸杯蛋糕T恤衫 |
| [03:46] | we can’t unload or pay for. | 卖不掉 而且付不起 |
| [03:48] | You think I don’t wake up screaming | 你以为我没有几乎每天晚上 |
| [03:50] | four or five nights a week about those T-shirts? | 都为了这些T恤衫尖叫着醒过来吗? |
| [03:53] | But I know our cat’s name. | 但是我知道我们的猫叫什么 |
| [03:55] | You don’t wake up at night ever. | 你才不会半夜醒来呢 |
| [03:58] | No, I sleep like a dead baby, it’s my one gift. | 当然不会 我睡得和死婴一样熟 这是我的天赋 |
| [04:02] | Oh, the phone! | 哦 电话! |
| [04:04] | Unknown number. This could be it! | 未知号码 可能就是它了! |
| [04:06] | I like my numbers like my condom expiration dates, unknown. | 我喜欢未知来电 正如不知啥时过期的避孕套 |
| [04:11] | Hello? | 你好? |
| [04:12] | – Yes? – Who is it, Max? | – 怎么了? – 是谁啊 Max? |
| [04:14] | You have her? Yay! | 她在你手上? 耶! |
| [04:16] | Oh, sure, great. | 哦 好的 太棒了 |
| [04:17] | – Thank you. – He has her? | – 谢谢 – 她在他手上? |
| [04:18] | He has Nancy? | Nancy在他那里? |
| [04:19] | Please, too little, too late. | 算了吧 晚了 |
| [04:27] | Max, we’re in $10,000 worth of debt | Max 我们欠债一万美元 |
| [04:29] | and you spent money on new kitty litter? | 你还花钱去买新的猫砂? |
| [04:31] | Relax, I’m going to pee in it, too. | 放松点 我也要在里面撒尿的 |
| [04:35] | Well, I guess it beats that Sprite bottle | 好吧 我猜它比你在你房间里用的 |
| [04:37] | you’ve been using in your bedroom. | 那个雪碧瓶好多了 |
| [04:39] | It’s just such a long walk to the bathroom | 从房间走到厕所太远了 |
| [04:40] | that every time I have to go, | 我每次走的时候 |
| [04:42] | it’s like I’m raising money for MS. | 都感觉像是在为多发性硬化症筹钱 |
| [04:44] | Oh, I have good news. | 哦 好消息 |
| [04:47] | I found your lost bra in the litter box. | 我在这个猫砂盒里找到你丢失的胸罩 |
| [04:52] | Don’t think I’m not still wearing it. | 别以为我还会再穿了 |
| [04:53] | I mean, why not? | 为什么不呢? |
| [04:54] | I ate a hot dog that rolled under a car the other day. | 我还曾吃过一条被车碾过的热呢 |
| [04:57] | I left a couple of big clumps in, | 我还在这里留下了几块土 |
| [04:59] | just to help you out a little. | 让你穿得更自信一点 |
| [05:02] | Oh, okay, that’s Nancy. | 哦 好的 Nancy来了 |
| [05:04] | Here’s a chance for a fresh start for you two. | 这是你们两个重新开始的机会 |
| [05:08] | And don’t bring up the bra, we don’t know why she wanted it, | 别提那个胸罩 我不知道它为什么想要 |
| [05:10] | but I’m sure she had her reasons. | 但是它肯定有自己的理由 |
| [05:12] | Fine, I’ll be on my best behavior. | 好的 我会好好表现的 |
| [05:14] | But you watch and see how she treats me. | 但你得看看它是怎么对我的 |
| [05:16] | It’s a two-way street. | 这是双向的 |
| [05:20] | Hi, I have your cat. | 你好 你们的猫在我手里 |
| [05:22] | And surprisingly, your doorknob. | 而且你们的门把手也在我手里 |
| [05:24] | Oh, that gum wore out already? | 哦 那个口香糖已经没用了? |
| [05:26] | Hi, buddy! | 你好啊小兄弟! |
| [05:29] | Hi, I’m Caroline. This is Max. | 你好 我叫Caroline 这位是Max |
| [05:31] | Thank you so much for bringing back… | 多谢你帮我们找到… |
| [05:32] | – Nancy! – I know! | – Nancy! – 我知道! |
| [05:34] | And please note, she did not even look at me. | 还有别忘了 它都没正眼看过我 |
| [05:37] | Hi. I’m Owen. | 嗨 我是欧文 |
| [05:39] | Well, we are “Owen” you a big thank-you. | 我们”欧”你一份人情啊 |
| [05:43] | Kind of low on cash, how would you feel | 我们最近有点缺钱 请问你愿意 |
| [05:44] | about 1,000 cute cupcake tees? | 买一千件可爱的”纸杯蛋糕”T恤吗? |
| [05:46] | Yeah, I don’t need 1,000 pink T-shirts. | 我不需要一千件粉红衣裳 |
| [05:48] | My dad’s already mad at me I don’t care about sports. | 我不关注体育就已经惹我爸不高兴了 |
| [05:52] | How do you get this thing open? | 怎么打开这玩意? |
| [05:53] | We usually just take Nancy around | 我们一般带Nancy出去 |
| [05:55] | in an old vacuum cleaner bag. | 是装在旧的吸尘器袋子里 |
| [05:57] | Also doubles as my “going out” purse. | 同时也用于我的外出包包 |
| [06:00] | Pardon me, may I get past? | 不好意思 可以借过吗? |
| [06:03] | Oh, manners. | 这种礼仪 |
| [06:04] | In our doorway? | 出现在我家门前? |
| [06:06] | I don’t know what to do. | 我都不知所措了 |
| [06:08] | What’s next, a front stoop with no discarded heroin needles? | 接下来会出现没有随意丢弃吸毒针头的门廊吗? |
| [06:12] | Yeah, I just came up there. | 我刚从那走上去的 |
| [06:13] | Not today. | 不是今天 |
| [06:16] | Here, let me help. | 让我帮你吧 |
| [06:17] | I mean, I’m the dumb one who paid $2,000 for a cat carrier. | 我就是一个花了两千块买个装猫袋的傻瓜 |
| [06:19] | Hmm. I miss being that stupid. | 我怀念自己曾经也这么傻 |
| [06:22] | You know, my cat can’t get this open either. | 我的猫也打不开这袋子 |
| [06:24] | It must be the lack of thumbs. | 肯定是没有拇指的缘故 |
| [06:24] | 猫一般只有四个指头 拇指退化了 | |
| [06:26] | Rich, funny, and in a suit at 9:00 A.M.? | 大清早的遇到个穿西装的”高富帅”? |
| [06:29] | I really don’t know what to do. | 我真不知所措了 |
| [06:32] | You know, my cat, Dickens, loves your cat. | 我的猫 狄更斯 喜欢你的猫 |
| [06:34] | Oh, Dickens, after the author? | 狄更斯 跟那作家同名? |
| [06:34] | 查尔斯·狄更斯 英国作家 代表作”雾都孤儿” | |
| [06:34] | 狄更斯著作名为”圣诞颂歌” | |
| [06:36] | Dickens, after the author, Max. | 狄更斯 跟大作家同名 Max |
| [06:39] | Yeah, I know who that is. | 我知道他是谁 |
| [06:41] | The guy who wrote Muppets Christmas Carol. | 写了”木偶圣诞颂歌”的那家伙 |
| [06:45] | There. I knew I’d get it. | 好了 就知道我打得开 |
| [06:47] | ‘Cause I have thumbs. | 因为我有拇指 |
| [06:50] | Oh, there she is. | 它在这呢 |
| [06:54] | So I take it by the cat, you’re single? | 从养猫来看 你是单身? |
| [07:00] | Big time. | 再单不过了 |
| [07:01] | So, do you and Dickens live alone? | 那你就和”狄更斯”住一起吗? |
| [07:03] | Oh no, she’s trying to flirt. | 糟了 她打算要调情 |
| [07:06] | I travel a lot for work. | 我经常因工作出差 |
| [07:07] | I’m a venture capitalist. | 我是个风险资本家 |
| [07:08] | So you know how it is. | 所以你也了解情况 |
| [07:09] | Oh, I do. I absolutely do. | 我了解 非常了解 |
| [07:10] | – I… – Here it comes. | – 我… – 要炫耀了 |
| [07:12] | – Went to Wharton. – Boom. | – 我上了沃顿商学院 – 砰 |
| [07:14] | Well, if she gets lost again, you know where to find her. | 要是再找不到它 你知道去哪找 |
| [07:16] | She’s been hanging around outside our window | 最近几个月 它每天都在 |
| [07:18] | every day for the last couple of months. | 我们窗外转悠 |
| [07:19] | So I let her in. I hope that’s okay. | 所以我放它进来了 希望没事 |
| [07:21] | Is that okay? It’s awesome. | 哪是没事? 简直棒极了 |
| [07:24] | I hope your girlfriend didn’t mind. | 我希望你女朋友不会介意 |
| [07:26] | We just broke up. | 我们刚分手 |
| [07:27] | So I’m single. | 所以我是单身 |
| [07:28] | And I better get going. | 我得离开了 |
| [07:30] | I’ve got a 10:00 meeting. | 我10点要开会 |
| [07:31] | Max, give the man his case. | Max 把箱子还他 |
| [07:32] | He has a 10:00 meeting. | 他10点要开会 |
| [07:34] | She doesn’t want to get out of cushy this thing. | 它不想离开这舒适的地方 |
| [07:36] | I totally get it. | 我完全理解 |
| [07:37] | I had to be dragged out of that massage chair | 我在布鲁克斯东坐按摩椅的时候 |
| [07:38] | at Brookstone by mall security. | 得让保安把我拽下来 |
| [07:41] | Well, here’s my card, just give me a call | 这是我的名片 如果你想让我过来拿箱子 |
| [07:43] | when you want me to pick up the case. | 打电话告诉我一声 |
| [07:44] | You have a card? | 你有名片? |
| [07:47] | A card, a meeting, a suit, a joke? | 名片 开会 西装 笑话? |
| [07:49] | Are you the next bachelor? | 你是下一个”白马王子”吗? |
| [07:53] | Well, thank you, Owen Charles Boyd, | 谢谢你了欧文·查尔斯·博伊德 |
| [07:55] | for bringing back our beloved… | 帮我们找到我们心爱的… |
| [07:57] | – Her name’s Nancy! – I know her name. | – 它叫Nancy! – 我知道它的名字 |
| [07:58] | Why do I have to say it so fast? | 有必要说那么快吗? |
| [08:01] | She’s joking, she’s just not as funny as you. | 她开玩笑的 只是没你这么风趣 |
| [08:05] | Well, it was nice to meet you. | 很高兴见到你 |
| [08:06] | Bye, Nancy. | 拜拜 Nancy |
| [08:08] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [08:15] | Yes, I was flirting. | 我是在调情 |
| [08:16] | But I was doing it for our business. | 但是在为咱们的生意着想 |
| [08:18] | You should really be doing it for your business. | 你真应该为你自己的”生意”着想 |
| [08:21] | ‘Cause your business is going out of business. | 因为你的”生意”就要”失业”了 |
| [08:24] | He has a card. | 他有名片 |
| [08:25] | And it’s not for medical marijuana. | 而且还不是卖药用大麻的 |
| [08:28] | He’s a venture capitalist. | 他是个风险资本家 |
| [08:29] | That’s the kind of fat cat | 是个能帮我们 |
| [08:30] | that can help us get back on our feet. | 站稳脚步的”大款” |
| [08:32] | Speaking of fat cats, Nancy’s looking like | 说起”傍大款” Nancy看起来 |
| [08:33] | she might need to give Jenny a call. | 要给Jenny打个电话 |
| [08:36] | Hey, girls. | 嘿 姐妹们 |
| [08:38] | Oh, you found Nancy. | 你们找到Nancy了 |
| [08:41] | I knew she’d come back pregnant. | 我就知道它会怀胎而归 |
| [08:45] | Wait, Sophie, how can you tell she’s pregnant | 等等 Sophie 你怎么知道它是怀孕了 |
| [08:46] | and just not fighting the same battle Jonah Hill is fighting? | 而不是像乔纳·希尔那样与发福抗争 |
| [08:50] | Well, her fur is thicker, she’s got a little sparkle in her eye, | 它的毛发增粗了 双眼炯炯有神 |
| [08:54] | and there’s a little kitten head about to pop out of her patoot. | 还有只小猫咪要从它屁屁探出头来 |
| [09:08] | Come on. Push, Nancy. | 拜托 用力 Nancy |
| [09:11] | Come on, we all know what you did. | 别这样 我们都知道你干的好事 |
| [09:12] | Now is not the time to be shy. | 现在可不是害臊的时候 |
| [09:17] | You do know what you’re doing, right, Sophie? | 你知道你在做什么 对吧 Sophie? |
| [09:18] | This isn’t like the time you told us | 这不会像上次你跟我们说的 |
| [09:20] | you could do your own bikini wax with a candle? | 你能用蜡烛自制脱毛蜡那样? |
| [09:23] | ‘Cause I still have the vanilla-scented scars from that. | 因为我还留着 上次那香草味伤疤呢 |
| [09:27] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [09:28] | In my village, all the Kuchenskis women | 在我村子里 所有库金斯基女人 |
| [09:31] | acted as animal midwives. | 都给动物当产婆 |
| [09:33] | It was the best way to meet guys. | 那是钓汉子的最佳方式 |
| [09:35] | Strap in, girls. | 快点 姐妹们 |
| [09:37] | Ah! She’s crowning! | 啊! 它要生了! |
| [09:40] | I can’t believe it. | 真不敢相信 |
| [09:42] | I thought Nancy was smarter than this. | 我还以为Nancy会聪明点 |
| [09:44] | But it turns out she’s just like the rest of the women | 结果跟我家其他女人 |
| [09:46] | in my family. | 一个样 |
| [09:47] | Screwed by some stranger she met in the dumpster. | 被垃圾堆边遇到的陌生人搞大肚子 |
| [09:51] | Okay, here we go. | 好了 要生了 |
| [09:55] | Oh, there goes my ring. | 哦 这下戒指丢了 |
| [10:00] | I… sorry, Nancy. | 我… 抱歉 Nancy |
| [10:02] | Oh, here we go! | 哦 要生了! |
| [10:04] | Come on, girls, I need some hot water and fresh towels. | 快点 姐妹们 我需要一盆热水和干净的毛巾 |
| [10:09] | We do, too. For, like, four years. | 这些我们都需要 想要了四年 |
| [10:10] | Uh… | 呃… |
| [10:12] | how about some of these T-shirts? | 用这些T恤怎么样? |
| [10:14] | Oh, sure why not use those? | 有何不可呢? |
| [10:16] | They used to be our bright future. | 它们曾是我们的美好未来 |
| [10:17] | Now just a ShamWow for illegitimate cats. | 现在就只是擦猫崽子的清洁布 |
| [10:24] | Oh, my God, that must be the sound | 天啊 那声音一定是 |
| [10:25] | of a surrendering cat uterus. | 猫的子宫在”求饶” |
| [10:29] | Well, it’s the first time a uterus has surrendered | 这也算这么久来 第一次有子宫在那床上 |
| [10:31] | in that bed in a while. | “求饶”了 |
| [10:37] | I don’t know why I’m not throwing up. | 我居然还不想吐 |
| [10:39] | Oh, wait. I’m starting to. | 等等 要吐了 |
| [10:44] | Well, I’m off Korean dumplings for life. | 我这辈子都不吃韩国饺子了 |
| [10:48] | This one… this one won’t come out. | 这一只… 这一只不肯出来 |
| [10:50] | It’s like the Queen Latifah of kittens. | 它就像猫界的奎因·拉蒂法 |
| [10:50] | 奎因·拉蒂法曾被爆出柜 | |
| [10:57] | Sophie, I got your text that you were in bed with Nancy. | Sophie 我收到你的短信说 你跟Nancy在床上 |
| [11:01] | Who is this Nancy, | 这个Nancy是谁 |
| [11:03] | and when did we go back to doing three-ways? | 我们啥时又开始玩三人行了? |
| [11:06] | Nancy’s a cat. | Nancy是只猫 |
| [11:09] | Mm, that’s a no. | 唔 那我拒绝 |
| [11:11] | I’ve got to draw the line somewhere. | 我还是有底线的 |
| [11:19] | Well, I heard the news. | 我听到消息了 |
| [11:22] | Looks like you two are grandmothers before you’re 30. | 看来你们俩要在30岁前当外婆了 |
| [11:26] | Can’t say I’m surprised. | 说不出我有多惊讶 |
| [11:30] | Okay, before you even ask, | 好了 你们问都不用问 |
| [11:32] | I don’t pay for cat maternity leave. | 我不会照付猫产假的工资 |
| [11:35] | This isn’t Google. | 这里可不是谷歌 |
| [11:38] | This isn’t even Ask Jeeves, Han. | 这里连”问杰”都不是 Han |
| [11:38] | 一种人工操作目录索引的美国著名搜索引擎 | |
| [11:42] | Well, I can help you get the kittens good homes. | 我可以帮你们 给猫咪们找个好住处 |
| [11:45] | The people in my building are very nice. | 我楼里的居民都非常友好 |
| [11:48] | Except if you don’t recycle one bottle of sparkling cider, | 但如果是你忘记回收一个泡苹果酒的瓶子 |
| [11:51] | then nobody talks to you in the elevator. | 那你在电梯里 没人会跟你说话 |
| [11:54] | Han, we’re not giving the kittens away. | Han 我们不打算把猫咪送走 |
| [11:56] | Nancy landed herself a rich cat, | Nancy让自己成了一只富裕的猫 |
| [11:58] | we’re gonna be living off a hefty kitty support. | 我们打算靠巨额的猫咪赡养费维生 |
| [12:02] | Only you two would be desperate enough | 只有你们俩会绝望到 |
| [12:03] | to try and find a sugar catty. | 想找一只招财猫 |
| [12:07] | So has Owen called you back yet? | 欧文给你回电话了吗? |
| [12:09] | Um, we’re trading. | 呃 我们在博弈呢 |
| [12:11] | “We’re trading”? | “我们在博弈”? |
| [12:12] | “We’re trading” is lonely white girl talk | “我们在博弈”是单身白人女孩的说法 |
| [12:14] | for “he hasn’t called me back.” | 意思是”他没给我回电话” |
| [12:17] | I can’t believe this. He’s a deadbeat dad. | 我真是不敢相信 他是个不负责任的爹 |
| [12:19] | Max, he’s just busy. | Max 他只是忙 |
| [12:21] | And I think you might be projecting a little | 我觉得你也许是在投射个人情绪 |
| [12:23] | because of your dad. | 因为你爸爸的缘故 |
| [12:24] | Not that I’m a therapist. | 而我不是治疗专家 |
| [12:25] | I mean, I can’t even afford a couch. | 因为我连心理咨询用的长沙发都买不起 |
| [12:27] | I’m not projecting. | 我这不叫投射 |
| [12:29] | I just know a deadbeat dad when I don’t see one! | 我最拿手识别不负责任的爸爸了! |
| [12:32] | Where’s his card? | 他的名片在哪儿? |
| [12:33] | I don’t remember where I… | 我不记得放在哪儿… |
| [12:35] | Max, let go! I’ve got this. | Max 放手! 我来搞定这事 |
| [12:37] | That guy can really help us with our business. | 那个人真的能帮到我们的生意 |
| [12:39] | Please, let me handle this. | 拜托 让我来处理吧 |
| [12:41] | Look, Ryan Gosling. | 看 瑞恩·高斯林 |
| [12:44] | – I got this. – I got this. | – 我来 – 我来 |
| [12:45] | – I got this. – I got this. | – 我来 – 我来 |
| [12:47] | Keep going, girls, I’m almost there. | 继续 姑娘们 我快要高潮了 |
| [12:51] | I got this, Max. | 我来 Max |
| [12:52] | And when he comes to get the cat carrier, | 等他来拿猫笼的时候 |
| [12:54] | I’ll talk to him. | 我会跟他说 |
| [12:55] | You’re way too emotional. | 你太容易激动了 |
| [12:56] | You just went to third base with my apron. | 你连我的围裙都下手了 |
| [13:05] | Sitting on this stoop is nice. | 坐在这台阶上也挺好的 |
| [13:06] | How come we never sit out here? | 我们怎么就一直没来这里坐坐呢? |
| [13:12] | There it is. | 这就是原因 |
| [13:14] | Oh, please, it’s just Rico. | 拜托 只是Rico而已 |
| [13:19] | Rico looks good. I think he got another tattoo. | Rico看起来不错 我想他又多了个纹身 |
| [13:22] | Look, when Owen gets here, should we still be alive, | 听着 欧文到这儿的时候 我们应该还活着 |
| [13:25] | please let me do the talking. | 请让我来进行谈话 |
| [13:27] | Kittens aside, Owen can help us. | 猫咪的事先放一边 欧文可以帮我们 |
| [13:29] | A venture capitalist buys companies | 一个风险投资人会买多家公司 |
| [13:31] | and turns them around. | 还能让它们起死回生 |
| [13:32] | Yeah, I’ve seen Pretty Woman. | 拜托 我看过”风月俏佳人”(电影) |
| [13:35] | That’s how I realized I wasn’t charging enough. | 那让我意识到 我的收费还不够高 |
| [13:37] | Go, Max, here he comes. | 走 Max 他来了 |
| [13:39] | All right, but I’ll be watching inside from the window. | 好的 但我会在窗户里面看着 |
| [13:42] | It’s probably better, because I don’t trust Nancy alone | 这样可能更好 因为我不放心Nancy独自 |
| [13:44] | with those kittens. | 和其他猫在一起 |
| [13:44] | She’s got some serious postpartum. | 她有一些严重的产后症状 |
| [13:46] | When I left the room, she was lighting a Menthol 100 | 我离开房间后 她曾用一只颤抖的爪子 |
| [13:48] | with a shaky paw. | 点燃了薄荷油 |
| [13:52] | Hi. | 嗨 |
| [13:53] | Crazy we live walking distance from each other. | 我们居然能够活着走向彼此 |
| [13:55] | We don’t. The Uber driver | 不是的 是”优步”司机 |
| [13:57] | wouldn’t go past the fire hydrant on the corner. | 不愿意经过拐角处的消防栓 |
| [13:59] | The one with the bloody shoe hanging from it? | 挂着只血淋淋的鞋子的那个吗? |
| [14:01] | That’s the one. | 没错 |
| [14:04] | You know what? I’m just gonna take the cat carrier. | 那什么… 我就是来拿那个箱子的 |
| [14:06] | Before you go… | 在你走之前… |
| [14:10] | we have this small cupcake company | 我们有个小型的纸杯蛋糕公司 |
| [14:12] | that’s just begging to be an empire, | 希望成为一家大企业 |
| [14:14] | and I wanted to pick your brain about some business stuff. | 我想跟你讨教下 生意上的一些事 |
| [14:18] | 猫 钱 婊子 | |
| [14:23] | Okay, so your Dickens got our cat pregnant, | 好吧 你的狄更斯让我们的猫怀孕了 |
| [14:25] | and she just had five kittens. | 而它刚刚生了五只猫咪 |
| [14:28] | And at her age, it’s a miracle we didn’t have to pay | 以它的年龄 我们不用付钱做体外手术 |
| [14:30] | for in vitro. | 真是个奇迹 |
| [14:31] | How do you know they are Dickens’s? | 你怎么知道是狄更斯的孩子? |
| [14:33] | I’m not saying that Nancy’s easy, | 我不是说Nancy很随便 |
| [14:34] | it’s just, I’ve seen her go in and out | 只是 我看见它进进出出 |
| [14:36] | of a lot of windows. | 很多窗户 |
| [14:42] | Did he just drop a gun? | 他刚刚掉了一把枪? |
| [14:44] | It’s fine. He has more. | 没事 他还有很多 |
| [14:46] | Okay, call my assistant, you can pick my brain. | 好吧 给我助理打电话 你可以跟我讨教 |
| [14:48] | I just don’t want it to be off the sidewalk. | 我只是不想在人行道边聊 |
| [14:51] | Really, I got to go. I can’t get killed. | 真的 我得走了 我不能死 |
| [14:53] | I’m wearing new suede loafers. | 我穿的是新款的绒面革乐福鞋 |
| [14:56] | Uber, an assistant, and suede loafers? | “优步” 助理 绒面革乐福鞋? |
| [14:58] | Are you for real? | 你是真实的吗? |
| [15:08] | I hope I’m not intruding. | 希望我没有打扰你 |
| [15:09] | No, come in. | 没有 请进 |
| [15:10] | I was just brushing my new loafers. | 我刚刚在刷我的新乐福鞋 |
| [15:12] | I bought them as a break-up gift for myself. | 我买这双鞋 当作是给自己的分手礼物 |
| [15:14] | But unlike my ex-girlfriend, these have a sole. | 与我前女友不一样的是 我能填满它 |
| [15:18] | I didn’t wanna mention the cat situation to your assistant. | 我不想跟你的助理提猫的事 |
| [15:21] | Next thing you know, it’s all over the lunch room: | 你知道的 接下来整个食堂就会议论 |
| [15:23] | Owen Charles Boyd’s cat is a raw-dogger. | 欧文·查尔斯·博伊德的猫很滥交 |
| [15:26] | My business partner stepped on them. | 被我的生意伙伴给踩了一脚 |
| [15:28] | Said it was an accident. | 说那是个意外 |
| [15:29] | Didn’t feel like one. | 感觉不像 |
| [15:31] | One shoe yes, but both? | 一只鞋有可能 但两只? |
| [15:33] | Highly unlikely. | 非常不可能 |
| [15:35] | Owen, sometimes in life, it’s not just an innocent cat | 欧文 有时候在生活中 不仅仅是一只 |
| [15:38] | that gets screwed. | 无辜的猫被操蛋了 |
| [15:39] | A girl can get screwed as well. | 一个姑娘也会被操蛋 |
| [15:43] | Oh, hey, hi. What’s happening? | 哦 你好 有什么事吗? |
| [15:46] | As in, screwed by one bad business decision. | 比如 被一个错误的商业决策给毁了 |
| [15:49] | My partner, Max, and I recently invested | 我的合作伙伴Max 还有我 |
| [15:51] | all our savings in… well, here, take a look. | 最近把我们的所有积蓄投资到… 这里 看看 |
| [15:55] | Oh, my coffee! | 哦 我的咖啡! |
| [15:57] | – Oh. – My loafer! | – 哦 – 我的乐福鞋! |
| [15:58] | My coffee’s on my loafer! | 我的咖啡洒在我的乐福鞋上了! |
| [16:00] | Here, let me. | 让我来 |
| [16:02] | No, you dab. You don’t wipe suede. | 不 轻轻擦 不能猛擦绒面革 |
| [16:04] | You dab. | 轻轻擦 |
| [16:05] | Dab. Dab. I’m sorry. | 轻轻擦 轻轻擦 抱歉 |
| [16:07] | I used to know that. | 我从前懂的 |
| [16:08] | That’s Rich 101. | 这是富人必修课 |
| [16:10] | Let me just go find some water | 我去弄点水 |
| [16:11] | and I’ll dab, not wipe, this out. | 然后轻轻擦它 不会猛擦它 |
| [16:15] | We’re not done yet. I’m going back in. | 我们还没聊完 我会回去的 |
| [16:16] | It’s going really well though. | 进行得非常顺利 |
| [16:18] | Where’s water? | 哪儿有水? |
| [16:20] | Do you know how to unsend an email? | 你知道怎么撤回邮件吗? |
| [16:23] | If I did, my rich ex-boyfriend would’ve never found out | 要是我知道 我那有钱的前男友就不会发现 |
| [16:26] | what I thought of his lisp | 我嫌弃他口齿不清 |
| [16:27] | and I’d be living in the “thouth of Franth” right now. | 我现在也就会住在法阔蓝部了 |
| [16:32] | Where is he? | 他在哪? |
| [16:33] | He needs to see these adorable bastards. | 他得见见这些可爱的小混蛋 |
| [16:36] | Max, how did you find me here? | Max 你怎么知道我在这儿? |
| [16:38] | I told you I was going on a “think walk.” | 我跟你说 我正在进行一场思维漫步 |
| [16:40] | I followed you. | 我跟踪了你 |
| [16:42] | I never noticed how much you check yourself out | 我以前都没发现你喜欢在商店玻璃前 |
| [16:44] | in store windows. You have a problem. | 照镜子 你这是毛病 |
| [16:46] | Do either of you know a way to turn the phrase, | 你们知道怎么把 “自私透顶的蠢猪” |
| [16:48] | “self-absorbed, ridiculous pig” into a compliment? | 变成赞美之词么 |
| [16:52] | If I did, I’d still be on The Apprentice. | 如果我会的话 我就能上”飞黄腾达”这节目了 |
| [16:55] | Owen’s going to see that email | 欧文马上就能看到这封邮件了 |
| [16:57] | and I’m going to get fired. | 我要被炒了 |
| [16:58] | I have to start paying attention to details. | 我必须得学着注意细节了 |
| [17:02] | I’m just gonna go back in. | 我要进去了 |
| [17:03] | What? I don’t care. | 什么? 我才不在乎呢 |
| [17:05] | Not without me you’re not. | 要是不让我进去 你也休想进去 |
| [17:06] | Max, please, let me handle this. | Max 求你了 让我来处理吧 |
| [17:08] | I’m begging you. | 我求你了 |
| [17:09] | We’re getting close, look, I’m holding his shoe. | 我们马上就能成功了 看 我已经拿到他的鞋了 |
| [17:12] | If he doesn’t step up here, | 如果他不拿出点行动来 |
| [17:14] | these kittens will feel neglected, | 这些小猫就会觉得被忽视了 |
| [17:15] | and it is only a matter of time | 然后它们迟早会成为服务员 |
| [17:17] | till they are waitressing or worse. | 或者比这更糟 |
| [17:19] | Max, you’re wrong. | Max 你错了 |
| [17:20] | There’s nothing worse than waitressing. | 没有什么比服务员更糟的了 |
| [17:23] | Max, stop! | Max 冷静! |
| [17:24] | You’ll ruin everything. | 你会把一切都搞砸的 |
| [17:25] | I can fix this and us. | 我能搞定这事 拯救咱们 |
| [17:27] | We are beyond help. | 我们没救了 |
| [17:29] | It’s all about these kittens. | 是要帮这些小猫 |
| [17:31] | – Now move, I got this. – No, I got this. | – 现在 闪开 我来处理 – 不 我来 |
| [17:32] | – I got this. – I got this. | – 我来 – 我来 |
| [17:33] | I… | 我… |
| [17:36] | Oh, my God. | 噢 天呐 |
| [17:37] | What the hell is happening? | 发生了什么? |
| [17:40] | That’s right. I came to your office with a basket of cats. | 没错 我带着一篮子的小猫来到你的办公室 |
| [17:44] | Max, I’m so sorry. | Max 不好意思 |
| [17:46] | Yeah, well, he’s the one who should be sorry. | 嗯哼 他才是那个应该觉得抱歉的家伙 |
| [17:48] | I want you to look these kittens in the whiskers | 我要你看着这些小公猫 |
| [17:53] | and tell them that Dickens is not their father. | 告诉他们狄更斯不是他们的父亲 |
| [17:56] | What makes you think they’re mine. Why? | 你凭什么觉得他们是我家的 凭什么? |
| [17:58] | Because they look just like Dickens | 就因为他们长得 |
| [18:01] | when he was a tiny baby kitten. | 跟狄更斯小时候一模一样吗 |
| [18:03] | Oh, and this one’s even cuter. | 噢 这只更可爱了 |
| [18:05] | And that one. | 还有那一只 |
| [18:07] | I’ll take them all. | 我会照顾他们的 |
| [18:08] | But not that one. Seems a little off. | 除了那一只 看起来有点傻 |
| [18:10] | Not quite as alert as the others. | 不像别的那么机灵 |
| [18:12] | Oh, she’s not good enough for you? | 噢 她配不上你吗? |
| [18:16] | – Max. Projecting. – I’m not projecting. | – Max 你在感情投射了 – 我没有 |
| [18:17] | He said she’s not good enough for him. | 他说她配不上他 |
| [18:19] | What? | 什么? |
| [18:20] | Just because she was unplanned and not good at math? | 就因为她是意外怀孕所生 而且数学不好吗? |
| [18:23] | Developed boobs way too early? | 或者是因为胸部发育的太早? |
| [18:26] | Okay, fine. I’m projecting. | 好吧 我是在感情投射 |
| [18:27] | What is going on? | 发生了什么? |
| [18:29] | Caroline, are we gonna hook up or what? | Caroline 我们不是准备上床吗? |
| [18:30] | This is, like the weirdest foreplay ever. | 这或许是 最奇怪的前戏了 |
| [18:33] | Hook up? What would make you think I want to hook up? | 上床? 你凭什么认为我想跟你上床? |
| [18:35] | Oh, because I business flirted? | 噢 因为我的商业调情? |
| [18:38] | That’s Wharton 101. | 这是沃顿必修课 |
| [18:39] | It was more than business flirting. | 这可不仅仅是商业调情 |
| [18:41] | You begged to come to my office, | 你哀求着要来我的办公室 |
| [18:42] | show up wearing a see-through shirt. | 穿着透视装出现在我面前 |
| [18:45] | That was not by choice. | 这是因为我没别的衣服可穿了 |
| [18:46] | It is cheaply made. | 便宜货都这样 |
| [18:48] | I came here to talk to you about our business, | 我过来是想跟你谈生意的 |
| [18:49] | and possibly get you to invest in a small, but spirited… | 让你能给我们投资 哪怕就一点点也是好的… |
| [18:52] | Invest? This is the financial capital of the world. | 投资? 这可是世界金融中心 |
| [18:55] | Yes, it is. | 是 没错 |
| [18:57] | Why would I invest in a desperate little cupcake shop? | 为什么我要去投资一个快倒闭的小蛋糕店? |
| [19:00] | You! | 你! |
| [19:04] | That’s it! | 够了! |
| [19:05] | No cats for you. | 不许你收养小猫了 |
| [19:07] | You know what? | 你知道吗? |
| [19:08] | You are a self-absorbed, ridiculous pig. | 你真是一个自私透顶的蠢猪 |
| [19:10] | Says you. | 你随便说 |
| [19:11] | And your assistant. | 你的秘书也这么认为 |
| [19:12] | Check your email. | 查收邮件吧 |
| [19:16] | I was able to unsend it. | 我刚把邮件撤回了 |
| [19:18] | Yay! | 耶! |
| [19:20] | Yeah, might want to re-ignite that LinkedIn profile. | 好吧 或许你还会想重新点击发送 |
| [19:24] | You’re gonna be home a lot more, you want a cat? | 你应该常常一个人在家吧 需要一只小猫吗? |
| [19:33] | Thanks for taking the kittens, Han. | Han 谢谢你照顾这些小猫 |
| [19:35] | I feel like you have an understanding | 我觉得你对小动物都很有同情心 |
| [19:36] | of small creatures, being one yourself. | 因为你自己就是 |
| [19:39] | Have no fear, my building is loaded with lesbians. | 放心吧 我公寓里都是女同 |
| [19:42] | They take home rescue cats | 她们收养小猫的速度 |
| [19:44] | faster than they take home other lesbians. | 远远快于收养同性恋 |
| [19:47] | Okay, let’s discuss my terms. | 好的 现在让我们讨论下我的收养条款吧 |
| [19:49] | Unlike all my non-animal children, | 与我那些非人类的孩子相比 |
| [19:50] | I want to know they’re taken care of. | 我希望它们能得到悉心的照顾 |
| [19:53] | What part of lesbian don’t you understand? | 你们难道不了解女同吗? |
| [19:55] | They’ll be swaddled in a flannel shirt by nightfall. | 夜晚来临的时候 她们甚至会用法兰绒把小猫包好的 |
| [19:59] | Okay, now this one, I call Junkie. | 好的 这只名为瘾君子 |
| [20:02] | ‘Cause he’s got a serious Catnip problem. | 因为它痴迷于猫薄荷 |
| [20:04] | Oh, so you raised a drug addict within a week. | 噢 所以你在一周之内就培养了一名吸毒爱好者 |
| [20:07] | Sounds about right. | 不错嘛 |
| [20:08] | These two should try and stay together. | 这两只应该在一起 |
| [20:10] | We call them Game of Thrones One | 我们叫他们 权力的游戏第一部 |
| [20:13] | and Game of Thrones Two. | 和权力的游戏第二部 |
| [20:14] | ‘Cause they’re siblings and lovers. | 因为他们是兄妹又是恋人 |
| [20:18] | This one’s the boy. | 这只是公的 |
| [20:19] | Watch him and learn what humping looks like. | 看看他 跟他学学怎么性交 |
| [20:24] | This one’s pretty bland. | 这只超级温柔 |
| [20:25] | She lays around, doesn’t meow much, | 她总是趴着 也不叫 |
| [20:27] | and when she does, she’s kind of phoning it in. | 当它叫唤起来像是电话响个不停 |
| [20:30] | We call her Amy Adams. | 我们管她叫艾米·亚当斯 |
| [20:32] | Yep. | 没错 |
| [20:33] | This last one gets special attention. | 最后一只要格外注意了 |
| [20:36] | She’s the smallest, but she’s got potential. | 虽然她最小了 但是很有潜力 |
| [20:38] | I mean, look at those nipples. | 我是说 看看这些乳头 |
| [20:41] | And now the nipples are all I see. | 现在我满脑子都是乳头了 |
| [20:44] | Have a nice life. | 祝你好运 |
| [20:45] | I’ll find you on Instagram. | 我会上图片分享网看你们的 |
| [20:47] | Check out Grumpy Cat. | 还有看看”暴躁猫” |
| [20:48] | Do what he does. | 跟他学学 |
| [20:49] | Well, bye, kitties. | 那么 再见了 小猫咪们 |
| [20:50] | And remember, stripping isn’t dancing. | 记着 脱衣舞不是舞蹈 |
| [20:54] | And now all I can see is them wearing pasties. | 现在我满脑子都是它们穿着胸贴的样子了 |
| [20:58] | You know what, Max? | 你知道吗 Max? |
| [20:59] | We don’t need that rich guy to fix our business. | 我们不需要那个有钱人来帮我们 |
| [21:01] | We can do it ourselves. | 我们可以靠自己 |
| [21:03] | Who am I kidding? Our business is in worse shape | 我在骗谁呢? 我们的生意还不如 |
| [21:05] | than two retired guys in a golf cart. | 高尔夫球场手推车的老头呢 |
| [21:07] | Well, you know what we’d better fix? | 你知道咱们得先修理什么吗? |
| [21:09] | Nancy. | 就是Nancy |
| [21:11] | ‘Cause he was right, she’s a slut. | 有钱人说的没错 她就是个荡妇 |
| [21:12] | Someone just found her 69-ing a tabby in the alley. | 有人发现她正在小巷里和一只虎斑猫玩69式 |