| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Max, guess what Han’s doing at the counter? | Max 猜猜Han在柜台做什么? |
| [00:06] | Well, I know it’s not towering over it. | 反正不是在俯瞰柜台 |
| [00:09] | He’s creating signature drinks for the diner. | 他在为餐厅研制特色饮料 |
| [00:12] | I suggested any household poison over shaved ice. | 我的建议是 在刨冰上加家常毒药 |
| [00:17] | Han, this is a stupid idea. | Han 这想法太蠢了 |
| [00:19] | It was Earl’s. | 这是Earl的想法 |
| [00:20] | Then it’s genius. | 那这想法太棒了 |
| [00:23] | Yep, I’ve been drinking all afternoon for free. | 是啊 我整个下午都在免费喝酒 |
| [00:28] | Now, I’ve used only top shelf liquor. | 现在我只用顶级的酒 |
| [00:31] | Question: Who got it down for you? | 提问 谁帮你拿下来的? |
| [00:35] | First up: “The Max”. It’s just whiskey. | 第一款 “Max酒” 这只是杯威士忌 |
| [00:38] | On the rocks, like Max’s job. | 酒加冰块(不断碰壁) 就像Max的工作 |
| [00:42] | Whatever mine is, I want my rim salted. | 不管我的酒是什么 我希望杯沿沾上盐 |
| [00:48] | Of course you do. | 当然可以 |
| [00:51] | Earl’s is an Old Fashioned with everything. | “Earl酒”是一款什么都加的老式鸡尾酒 |
| [00:54] | Pour me another me. | 再给我倒杯”我” |
| [00:56] | I hate to say it, but I go down easy. | 我不想承认 但我很容易醉 |
| [01:00] | “The Caroline” is Lemon Schnapps in a slightly frosty glass. | “Caroline酒”是装在稍微结霜的杯子里的柠檬甜酒 |
| [01:04] | Because of my cool, Grace Kelly kind of demeanor? | 是因为我那格蕾丝·凯利式的优雅举止吗? |
| [01:06] | No, because they had a sale on Lemon Schnapps | 不是 是因为在卖酒的地方 |
| [01:08] | at Beverage Barn. | 柠檬甜酒在促销 |
| [01:11] | Oh, they don’t card there? | 那里不用出示身份证吗? |
| [01:14] | Okay, so what’s “The Han”? | 好了 那”Han酒”是什么? |
| [01:16] | A No Sex on the Beach? | 沙滩上的”无性”酒吗? |
| [01:19] | Mine is a classic martini, shaken. | 我的是一款经典的摇和马提尼酒 |
| [01:22] | Oh, like the first woman who saw you naked. | 就像第一个看见你裸体的女人一样颤抖不停 |
| [01:29] | Correction. | 纠正 |
| [01:30] | Will see you naked. | 是将要看见的 |
| [01:50] | Max, guess what happened when you were running | Max 猜猜看 你迅速跑向厕所的两小时内 |
| [01:52] | to the bathroom real quick, for two hours. | 发生了什么 |
| [01:54] | You worked the cupcake window while I went | 你在柜台卖纸杯蛋糕 |
| [01:57] | to see The Statue of Liberty. | 而我去看了自由女神像 |
| [01:59] | Her head was being renovated. | 她的头正在被翻新 |
| [02:01] | Everybody in this town is getting work done. | 城里的每个人都在工作 |
| [02:04] | I sold our last cupcake tee! | 我卖掉了最后一件纸杯蛋糕T恤! |
| [02:06] | We’ve sold out more than Robert De Niro | 我们卖掉的比罗伯特·德尼罗 |
| [02:08] | in the last 20 years of his career. | 在他职业生涯的最后20年里卖的还多 |
| [02:11] | Well, Analyze This, Focker. | “老大靠边闪” 逊毙了 |
| [02:11] | “老大靠边闪” 罗伯特·德尼罗主演的电影 | |
| [02:16] | I noticed we were running low last week, | 我注意到 我们上周快要缺货了 |
| [02:18] | so I ordered more. | 所以我又进了点货 |
| [02:20] | How did I not notice those sooner? | 我怎么没早发现那些呢? |
| [02:22] | Oh, probably because the last time I looked in there, | 哦 很可能是因为我上次往里看的时候 |
| [02:25] | there was a rat having sex with a cockroach. | 有只老鼠正和蟑螂嘿咻 |
| [02:29] | You know, they’re still dating. | 告诉你 它们还在约会 |
| [02:31] | Really? I thought it was a one time thing. | 真的吗? 我还以为是一夜情 |
| [02:34] | Well, I guess once you go rat, you never go back. | 我猜你一旦上了老鼠 就永不回头了 |
| [02:34] | go rat出自DOTA术语”只推塔 不团战” | |
| [02:39] | Thanks for ordering these, I’ve just been so busy | 谢谢你进了这些货 我最近都忙着 |
| [02:41] | with Sophie’s wedding shower. | 准备Sophie的告别单身派对 |
| [02:43] | Yeah, why are you working so hard? | 是啊 我们为什么这么尽心尽力? |
| [02:44] | It’s not a big deal. | 又不是什么大事 |
| [02:45] | I threw my mother a shower once. | 我还帮我妈告别过单身呢 |
| [02:48] | No, wait, I threw her in a shower once. | 不对 等等 我是直接把她扔到雨里过 |
| [02:50] | Max, you really need to start making more of a fuss. | Max 你真的不该这么抱怨了 |
| [02:53] | It’s for Sophie, it means a lot to her, | 这是为了Sophie 这对她很重要 |
| [02:55] | and she has a gun. | 而且她还有枪 |
| [02:57] | Well, showers are stupid girl things | 单身派对是傻姑娘的事情 |
| [03:00] | that this guy wants no part of. | 而这条汉子不想参与 |
| [03:04] | Hey, girls! | 嘿 姑娘们! |
| [03:07] | Look. I’m advertising your cupcake business. | 看 我在给你们的纸杯蛋糕做广告 |
| [03:11] | You’re advertising something, but it’s not our cupcakes. | 你是在做广告 但不是我们的纸杯蛋糕广告 |
| [03:15] | I gave out free T-shirts to our building. | 我给我们楼的住户发放了免费T恤 |
| [03:17] | I left one by everyone’s door. | 我在每家每户门口都留了一件 |
| [03:19] | Two at Sophie’s, 16 at the Sanchez’s. | Sophie家两件 Sanchez家16件 |
| [03:21] | So about six of the kids will have to share. | 大概有六个孩子得共穿一件 |
| [03:25] | Interesting. Now our shirts are available at both Rodney, | 真有趣 现在我们的T恤 |
| [03:28] | the high-end Manhattan boutique, | 在高档的曼哈顿时装店”Rodney” |
| [03:30] | and an apartment building that always smells | 和一栋永远飘着汽油味儿的公寓楼里 |
| [03:32] | a little like gasoline. | 都能拿到 |
| [03:35] | Well, please stop talking about things that aren’t me. | 请不要再聊些跟我无关的事情了 |
| [03:38] | Now girls, did you get the cake | 姑娘们 你们准备好 |
| [03:43] | for my wedding shower tomorrow? | 明天我的单身派对上的蛋糕了吗? |
| [03:45] | Oh, was I supposed to make a cake? | 哦 我还要做个蛋糕吗? |
| [03:48] | I’ve literally done nothing for this shower. | 我完全没有为这个派对做任何事情 |
| [03:50] | I haven’t even taken a bath. | 我连澡都没有洗 |
| [03:53] | Oh, no, I’m not getting my cake from here. | 不 我不要这里的蛋糕 |
| [03:56] | No, this is my bridal shower. | 不行 这是我的婚前派对 |
| [03:58] | Yeah, I want to get something classic from Baskin Robbins | 对 我要从Baskin Robbins冰淇淋店买点经典甜品 |
| [04:01] | that’s also a Dunkin’ Donuts. | 还有Dunkin甜甜圈 |
| [04:05] | They mix those two now? | 他们现在把这两样混搭了? |
| [04:07] | It’s a Stoner’s dream come true. | 斯通纳(主持)的梦想成真了 |
| [04:11] | I tried to make our apartment look nice. | 我想让我们的公寓好看一点 |
| [04:13] | I even moved a chair to cover a stain, | 我甚至挪动椅子来遮住污渍 |
| [04:15] | but what was under the chair was so much worse. | 但椅子下面更脏 |
| [04:17] | I guess what I’m saying is, please don’t shoot us. | 我想说的是 请不要开枪打我们 |
| [04:21] | Well, I don’t expect it to look that good. | 我没期待它有好多看 |
| [04:24] | I mean, you can’t put a silk hat on a pig. | 你们不能给猪戴上大礼帽 |
| [04:28] | And I know, ’cause I tried once. | 我知道 是因为我试过一次 |
| [04:51] | Max! Oh, my God! What have you done? | Max! 天啊! 你干了什么? |
| [04:54] | I realized I don’t like a strawberry center. | 我觉得我不喜欢草莓馅的 |
| [04:58] | And I am not going to beat myself up about it. | 但我不会为此揍自己一顿 |
| [05:01] | When I told you to get crepe paper streamers | 我让你去拿皱纸带 |
| [05:04] | and decorate for the shower, I meant with pink, not black. | 装饰下派对的时候 我说的是粉红色 不是黑色 |
| [05:08] | It’s a wedding shower for Sophie, | 这是Sophie的单身派对 |
| [05:10] | not a baby shower for Rosemary’s Baby. | 不是”魔鬼圣婴”的洗礼会 |
| [05:14] | What? I told you, I don’t do girl things. | 什么? 我跟你说了 我不会做小女生的事情 |
| [05:17] | Like hang pink or sit when I pee. | 像挂粉红彩带 或者坐着尿尿 |
| [05:21] | Which, coincidentally, I refer to as “hanging pink.” | 我正好提到了”挂粉红彩带”这项 |
| [05:27] | My God, what is that smell? | 天啊 什么味道? |
| [05:29] | Something’s really gone bad here. | 这里真的有什么东西坏了 |
| [05:31] | Besides our lives. | 包括我们的生活 |
| [05:34] | It’s the Polish food. | 这是波兰食物 |
| [05:35] | I think one of those sausages is made of old flip-flops. | 我想其中有根香肠是用穿过的人字拖做的 |
| [05:40] | Someone’s here already? | 已经有人来了? |
| [05:42] | Are Polish people always early? | 波兰人都这么早吗? |
| [05:44] | Is that a stereotype I don’t know about? | 这是什么我不知道的刻板印象吗? |
| [05:49] | Oh my God! | 我滴个乖乖! |
| [05:54] | A wedding shower for me? | 我的单身派对? |
| [05:57] | I mean, if I had known, I would have dressed! | 要是早知道 我就好好打扮一番了! |
| [06:02] | Sophie, you did know. | Sophie 你确实知道啊 |
| [06:04] | I know. I came down early to practice some entrances. | 我知道 我提早下来练习一下入场 |
| [06:07] | Now get ready for entrance number two. | 现在准备排练入场方式二 |
| [06:12] | Are you ever ready for entrance number two? | 你能想象第二种入场啥样吗? |
| [06:19] | Who is it? | 谁啊? |
| [06:27] | Oh my God! | 亲娘啊! |
| [06:29] | I can’t believe it. | 简直不敢相信 |
| [06:31] | Oh, it’s the day of my wedding shower. | 哦 今天是我的单身派对啊 |
| [06:35] | Could anything be more wonderful? | 还有什么比这更美好的? |
| [06:41] | I was moved, I was surprised. | 我好感动 好惊讶 |
| [06:42] | I liked it better than the Book. | 比圣经还要喜欢 |
| [06:43] | Now, come on in here and identify some of this | 现在 进来指出哪些是波兰食物 |
| [06:46] | Polish food so I can know what I’m not eating tonight. | 这样我就知道晚上什么不能吃了 |
| [06:49] | Oh, no. I’m not eating at my shower. | 哦 不 我派对上不吃东西 |
| [06:52] | I’m pretending I have an eating disorder | 我在假装自己有进食障碍症 |
| [06:54] | so everyone will think that I have it all. | 这样大家就以为我拥有一切了 |
| [07:00] | I think you’re going to be happy. | 我觉得你会很开心的 |
| [07:01] | I have lots of fun shower games, | 我有很多好玩的单身派对游戏 |
| [07:03] | starting with “Who Knows The Most About Sophie?” | 从”谁最了解Sophie”开始 |
| [07:05] | Oh, I’ll win that one. | 哦 这个肯定我赢 |
| [07:08] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [07:09] | And Sophie’s got to tinkle. | Sophie得上厕所了 |
| [07:11] | See? I’m a shoo-in. | 看到没? 这事都知道肯定赢 |
| [07:14] | Yeah. Oh. Oh, my gosh. | 哦 哦 天啊 |
| [07:18] | Black toilet paper. | 黑色厕纸 |
| [07:20] | Oh, nice touch, girls. | 做得不错 两位妞儿 |
| [07:23] | Yeah, I love the mystery of not knowing when you’re done. | 嗯 我就喜欢擦完还不知道的神秘感 |
| [07:33] | FBI! Open up! | 联邦调查局! 开门! |
| [07:34] | The FBI? I don’t think they RSVP’d. | 联邦调查局? 我没请他们啊 |
| [07:38] | Oh, that’s got to be for me. | 哦 肯定是来抓我的 |
| [07:41] | I didn’t do it. | 我啥也没干 |
| [07:43] | And just so you know, the statute of limitations is up | 而且告诉你 纽瓦克的那件事 |
| [07:46] | on that Newark thing. | 已经过了诉讼时效了 |
| [07:49] | I’m not here to arrest you, miss. | 我不是来抓你的 小姐 |
| [07:50] | Great, it’s me. | 这下好了 抓我来的 |
| [07:52] | Max, I told you pirating movies was a real crime. | Max 我都说盗印电影是犯罪了 |
| [07:55] | Now I’m going to jail for Fifty Shades Of Grey. | 这下我要因为”五十度灰”进局子了 |
| [07:59] | Someone should. | 总得有人进去 |
| [08:02] | I hear you, not the Christian Grey | 我听到了 你不是我想象中的 |
| [08:04] | I’d pictured. | Christian Grey(五十度灰女主人公) |
| [08:09] | I’m Agent Drake with the FBI. | 我是联邦调查局的Drake探员 |
| [08:11] | Nothing to get upset about, but there’s a man in your building | 不用担心 但是你们楼里有个男人 |
| [08:13] | who’s been holding three women hostage | 在他的公寓里扣留了三个女人 |
| [08:14] | in his apartment for months. | 做人质有数月了 |
| [08:16] | Yeah, that sounds about right. | 嗯 这听起来才对 |
| [08:19] | Now, one of the captives escaped today | 现在 其中一个被关押的今天逃出去 |
| [08:21] | and alerted authorities. | 报警了 |
| [08:22] | Oh, that must have been the lady I passed | 哦 肯定是我在大厅里遇到的 |
| [08:23] | screaming in the hall. | 尖叫的那位女士 |
| [08:27] | What? There is a fine line between “hostage” | 怎么了? 这栋楼里”人质”和”精神错乱”之间 |
| [08:29] | and “off your meds” in this building. | 还是有区别的 |
| [08:32] | So, a SWAT team is going in | 所以 特警队要进来 |
| [08:33] | for the other two still upstairs. | 解救楼上剩余的两位 |
| [08:35] | But we need to evacuate the building first. | 但我们首先要清空楼内 |
| [08:36] | So let’s go. | 所以请吧 |
| [08:37] | All right, can I just put a few things away first. | 好的 我能先收拾下东西吗 |
| [08:40] | You know, because I want the place to look nice | 你知道 如果有警察要进来的话 |
| [08:43] | if there’s going to be police in here. | 我希望家里看起来干净些 |
| [08:46] | Look, miss, whatever drugs you’re hiding in here, | 听着 小姐 不过你家里藏了什么毒品 |
| [08:47] | I couldn’t care less. | 我完全不在乎 |
| [08:48] | We need to get out now. | 我们得马上出去 |
| [08:50] | You know, you’re just my type of guy. | 你知道吗 你完全是我的理想型 |
| [08:53] | You don’t mind my drug use and you’re already here. | 你不介意我用药 而且已经在家门口了 |
| [09:01] | Oh, yeah! | 哦 对味儿! |
| [09:05] | You girls ordered a cop stripper for my bridal shower? | 你们还请了脱衣警察来我的单身派对? |
| [09:11] | Oh, here comes the bride all right! | 哦 新娘这就来了! |
| [09:15] | Come on. Yeah. | 来啊 |
| [09:18] | Yeah, see? Look, he likes me. | 嗯 看到没? 他喜欢我 |
| [09:29] | I cannot believe I live in this building | 真不敢相信我住的楼里 |
| [09:31] | with a man who would do something so awful. | 竟然有男人做这么可怕的事 |
| [09:33] | Also, cannot believe I live in this building. | 当然 也不敢相信我竟然住在这样的楼里 |
| [09:37] | You know who I think it is? | 你知道我觉得是谁吗? |
| [09:38] | Smells Like Cats But Has No Cats. | 一身猫味却不养猫男 |
| [09:41] | Really? He doesn’t seem like a go-getter. | 是吗? 他看起来不像个行动派啊 |
| [09:45] | I think it’s Three Nipples No Nose. | 我觉得是三个乳头没鼻子男 |
| [09:49] | Three Nipples No Nose? He’s a delight. | 三个乳头没鼻子男? 他人很开朗啊 |
| [09:53] | Sophie, isn’t this upsetting? | Sophie 你不难过吗? |
| [09:55] | It sure is. | 当然了 |
| [09:57] | I couldn’t get that stripper cop to take his pants off. | 那个脱衣警察就是不肯脱裤子 |
| [10:01] | Hey, look, there’s some of my shower guests. | 嘿 快看 我的派对客人们来了 |
| [10:05] | Oh, look. | 快看 |
| [10:07] | And see? That one’s my friend Natalya. | 看到没? 那个是我的朋友Natalya |
| [10:08] | The one I told you about. | 跟你们提过的那个 |
| [10:10] | Yeah, there’s all that extra skin. | 没错 瞧那多余的皮肤 |
| [10:12] | Ew. You were not exaggerating. | 天啊 你真没夸张 |
| [10:15] | She was born with all that skin. | 那皮肤是天生的 |
| [10:17] | She had a chip clip on her back | 她整个高中都得 |
| [10:19] | all through high school. | 在背上夹个夹子 |
| [10:23] | Yeah, I know that guy upstairs is a real bummer, | 嗯 我知道楼上的家伙真让人扫兴 |
| [10:26] | but you know what would help? | 但你知道什么有帮助吗? |
| [10:29] | If I could open my presents. | 要是我能开礼物的话 |
| [10:32] | Yeah. | 没错 |
| [10:33] | Oh, no! | 哦 不! |
| [10:35] | The fuzz isn’t letting them through! | 警察不让她们过来! |
| [10:37] | Oh, come on. | 哦 拜托 |
| [10:39] | No fair, they just let a guy in here a few minutes ago. | 不公平 他们几分钟前还放一个男的进来了 |
| [10:42] | Just ’cause your friends aren’t bomb-sniffing dogs, | 我朋友们不是炸弹搜寻犬 |
| [10:44] | they can’t get in? Boo! | 就不让进吗? 切! |
| [10:47] | Hey, look, ladies, pass your presents up to the cops. | 听着 姐妹们 把你们的礼物递给条子 |
| [10:52] | Cops, pass my presents to me. | 条子 把我的礼物递给我 |
| [10:55] | Wait, Sophie, before you open them, | 等等 Sophie 在你打开它们前 |
| [10:57] | I really want to write down who got you what. | 我真得很想记下是谁送的礼 |
| [10:59] | And save that pretty ribbon, I’m gonna make you a bow hat! | 还有 留着那条漂亮的丝带 我给你做顶蝴蝶结帽! |
| [11:03] | Look at you. | 看看你 |
| [11:04] | Making lemonade out of a maniac | 有个疯子绑架了三名无辜女性 |
| [11:07] | holding three innocent women hostage. | 你还能这么苦中作乐 |
| [11:09] | Oh, a gift card. | 一张礼品卡 |
| [11:11] | Oh, send it back. | 把它寄回去 |
| [11:14] | Sophie, we would’ve taken that. | Sophie 换做我们就会收下它 |
| [11:16] | I don’t know what is was for, | 虽然不知道它的用处 |
| [11:17] | I just know that we would’ve taken it. | 但我就知道 我们会收下它 |
| [11:19] | No, I’m sending it back. | 不 我要把它寄回去 |
| [11:21] | I want a gift, not another errand. | 我要的是礼物 不是多一份差事 |
| [11:24] | Oh, yeah, not in love with the paper, but… | 好吧 我不太喜欢这个包装 但… |
| [11:28] | well, I’ll wait till I open it to judge. | 还是等打开后再做定论吧 |
| [11:31] | Hi. Excuse me. | 嗨 打扰一下 |
| [11:33] | Excuse me? | 打扰一下? |
| [11:34] | I’m Maria Alonso-Gonzalez. | 我是Maria Alonso-Gonzalez |
| [11:37] | Could you ladies talk to Channel 2 | 能请两位女士对着镜头 |
| [11:38] | about tonight’s disturbing discovery? | 谈谈今晚这里的骇人发现吗? |
| [11:40] | – No. – Yes. | – 没门 – 当然 |
| [11:42] | Just go with me and my business savvy. | 只管跟着我和我的商业头脑走 |
| [11:44] | Yes, Maria Alonso-Gonzalez, we can answer a few questions. | 是的 Maria Alonso-Gonzalez 我们可以回答几个问题 |
| [11:47] | Were there any signs at all that something of this nature | 有任何迹象表明 你所居住的楼房里暗藏 |
| [11:50] | was going on in your building? | 此类性质的犯罪吗? |
| [11:52] | We just hope they bring this sick freak | 我们只是希望 住我们楼里的这个变态 |
| [11:54] | in our building to justice | 能被绳之于法 |
| [11:55] | so that we can return to work at Max’s Homemade Cupcakes. | 好让我们回到”Max自制纸杯蛋糕店”继续工作 |
| [12:00] | Get on the door. Here he comes. | 转拍大门 他出来了 |
| [12:01] | Who is it? Who is this sick freak? | 这人是谁? 谁是这个变态? |
| [12:09] | It’s not me. | 不是我 |
| [12:11] | Is it? | 是我吗? |
| [12:13] | I’m not sure, what are the charges? | 我不太确定 我被指控了什么? |
| [12:17] | Different sick freak. | 同是变态 各不相同 |
| [12:20] | Hey, Rula, Uma, Greta, look. | 嘿 Rula Uma Greta 看啊 |
| [12:23] | This is him. | 就是这人 |
| [12:25] | This is the groom-to-be. | 我的未来夫君 |
| [12:28] | Forget about the guy upstairs, | 忘了楼上那个家伙吧 |
| [12:30] | this is the real maniac in the bedroom. | 这才是货真价实的床上狂魔 |
| [12:37] | That’s him? | 就是他? |
| [12:38] | Beer Belly Gym Shorts? | 啤酒肚运动裤男? |
| [12:41] | – Never would’ve guessed. – Oh, no. | – 怎么都猜不到 – 糟了 |
| [12:43] | He’s wearing one of our shirts. | 他穿着我们的衣服 |
| [12:45] | Why? | 为什么? |
| [12:46] | Why? Why is he wearing a medium? | 为什么? 他为什么要穿中号的? |
| [12:54] | Oh… | 哦… |
| [12:57] | I mean, nobody’s gonna see that. | 没人会在意那个的 |
| [13:05] | Police have just apprehended the suspect | 警察已经逮捕了嫌疑犯 |
| [13:07] | and the question on everyone’s mind is, | 而现在每个人心中的困惑是 |
| [13:10] | “What does Max’s Homemade Cupcakes | Max自制纸杯蛋糕店究竟和此事 |
| [13:12] | have to do with this?” | 有什么牵连? |
| [13:17] | We have no comment. | 我们无可奉告 |
| [13:18] | Or future, or deodorant. | 也没有未来和除臭剂 |
| [13:22] | So leave us alone! | 所以别来烦我们! |
| [13:24] | How did they find out we work in this dump, | 他们怎么知道我们在这破地方工作 |
| [13:26] | next door to the other dump? | 旁边靠着另外那个破地方? |
| [13:27] | As I’m saying it, I realize our career | 我说完才意识到 我们的职业生涯 |
| [13:29] | is made up of two dumps. | 全搭在这两破地方了 |
| [13:31] | Sounds like our career has been drinking too much coffee. | 听起来像是我们的职业生涯咖啡喝多了 |
| [13:34] | The story is all over the paper. | 报纸上通篇在报道这事 |
| [13:37] | They’re calling those ladies “The Cupcake Captives,” | 他们称那些女性为”纸杯蛋糕俘虏” |
| [13:40] | calling that guy “The Cupcake Captor,” | 称那家伙为”纸杯蛋糕绑匪” |
| [13:42] | and calling the whole thing “The Cupcake Catastrophe.” | 还称整个事件为”纸杯蛋糕大浩劫” |
| [13:46] | But you needn’t worry about it reflecting badly | 但你们不用担心这事会损坏你们 |
| [13:48] | on your cupcake business. | 纸杯蛋糕生意的声誉 |
| [13:51] | Oh, no. It’s even in the fashion section. | 糟了 这事还上时尚专区了 |
| [13:54] | There’s a picture of our shirts and it says, | 上面有我们衣服的图片 还写着 |
| [13:57] | “What not to wear, ever.” | “不要穿这个 永远不要” |
| [14:01] | Okay. Everybody calm down. | 好吧 各位冷静一下 |
| [14:04] | I’m mostly talking to myself. | 我多半是在说自己 |
| [14:06] | The media is just going to do its thing. | 媒体就喜欢兴风作浪 |
| [14:08] | I’ve been slandered in the headlines before. | 我之前也被头条诽谤过 |
| [14:10] | I was called “Ponzi Princess,” “Bankrupt Barbie.” | 被称为”庞氏骗局公主” “破产芭比” |
| [14:14] | Looking back, those were the best of times. | 回首往事 那些竟是最美好的时光 |
| [14:17] | Oh, hello. I was just about to take a tray | 各位好啊 我刚打算递一盘 |
| [14:20] | of Max and Carolines out to my reporter friends. | Max和Carolines酒招待我的记者朋友们 |
| [14:23] | Sorry, you can give those Max and Carolines | 抱歉 你可以拿这些Max和Carolines酒 |
| [14:26] | to this Max and Caroline. | 招待Max和Caroline |
| [14:29] | Hi, everybody. | 嗨 各位亲 |
| [14:31] | Oh, I’m depressed. | 哦 我抑郁极了 |
| [14:33] | See, you can tell ’cause I’m only wearing half my hair. | 瞧 连你们都看得出 因为我只戴了一半的假发 |
| [14:38] | Girls, I found this box outside your door. | 姐妹们 我在你们家门前发现了这个箱子 |
| [14:41] | And I was hoping it was a shower present. | 我当时还以为这是单身派对礼物 |
| [14:44] | Since those selfish hostage girls ruined my special day. | 因为那些自私的人质姑娘毁了我的大好日子 |
| [14:49] | Oh, man. I didn’t even get a freakin’ ribbon hat. | 天啊 我都没能拿到那顶蝴蝶结帽 |
| [14:53] | Do you want the tube top I made out of the police tape? | 你想要我用警示带做的抹胸吗? |
| [14:56] | I’m calling it a tape top. | 我管它叫”警示抹胸” |
| [14:59] | Patent pending. | 专利申请中 |
| [15:01] | Come on, you guys. | 好啦 各位 |
| [15:02] | This isn’t about us. | 这不关我们的事 |
| [15:03] | We need to put this all in perspective. | 我们要理性看待这事 |
| [15:05] | We’re all safe, and healthy, and… | 我们都没事 健健康康的 还有… |
| [15:08] | Oh, my God, just when I can’t take anymore, | 天啊 正当我觉得不能承受更多时 |
| [15:10] | here comes anymore. | 更多的不幸就来了 |
| [15:12] | “We are returning the remainder of your T-shirt stock. | “我们要退还你们T恤剩余的存货 |
| [15:15] | Our Rodney brand cannot be associated with a product | 我们Rodney品牌不愿与你们的产品有牵连 |
| [15:18] | at the center of an ongoing criminal investigation. | 因为它涉及了一项正在进行中的刑事调查 |
| [15:21] | Consider our contract null and void.” | 我们的合约就此作废” |
| [15:24] | This is so shocking. | 真是让人震惊 |
| [15:26] | Max, you can read? | Max 你竟然识字? |
| [15:30] | So you just didn’t want to tell people the specials. | 看来你只是不肯把特价菜单报给客人 |
| [15:35] | I can’t believe this. | 真是难以置信 |
| [15:37] | We waited so long for something to happen | 我们盼了这么久 希望有事发生在 |
| [15:38] | to our cupcake t-shirts. | 我们的纸杯蛋糕T恤上 |
| [15:40] | Why that guy? | 为什么是他? |
| [15:41] | And on the one day he chooses to not wear | 而且是正好在他不想穿那件 |
| [15:43] | his “Pull my finger” shirt. | 写着”拉我手指”T恤的时候 |
| [15:45] | This is Maria Alonso-Gonzalez, reporting to you live… | 我是Maria Alonso-Gonzalez 在Max自制纸杯蛋糕店… |
| [15:48] | Max, what are you doing? They’ll see us. | Max 你在干什么? 他们会看到我们的 |
| [15:50] | – From Max’s Homemade Cupcakes. – No they won’t, | – 现场为您带来的报道 – 他们看不到的 |
| [15:51] | Because all the cameras are on Han right now. | 因为所有的摄像机都对着Han |
| [15:54] | Can you talk a little bit about the women | 你能谈一下 Max自制纸杯蛋糕店背后的 |
| [15:56] | behind Max’s Homemade Cupcakes? | 两位女性的故事吗? |
| [15:59] | Well, let’s just say Max and Caroline | 就这么说吧 Max和Caroline |
| [16:01] | are allergic to work, much in the same way | 对工作过敏 就像是 |
| [16:04] | Dilbert is allergic to Mondays. | Dilbert对周一过敏一样 |
| [16:09] | Moving on, Maria Alonso-Gonzalez, | 继续 Maria Alonso-Gonzalez |
| [16:11] | would you care to come into The Williamsburg Diner, | 您想不想来威廉斯堡餐厅 |
| [16:13] | 6355 Bedford Avenue, | 贝德福德大道6355号 |
| [16:16] | open 8:00 A.M. till 2:00 A.M., | 营业时间从早上八点到凌晨两点 |
| [16:17] | for our signature drink: The Cupcake Captive Cosmo? | 来喝一杯我们的招牌饮料”纸杯蛋糕绑架小宇宙”? |
| [16:21] | And for you gents, The Captive Cape Cod? | 至于先生们 想来杯”纸杯蛋糕绑架鳕鱼”? |
| [16:28] | Hey, get these cupcakes out of the garbage. | 嘿 把那些纸杯蛋糕从垃圾桶里拿出来 |
| [16:29] | I need to make room for Han’s body. | 我得给Han的尸体腾出点位子 |
| [16:32] | I’m keeping the head as a warning to others who cross us. | 我要留着他的头来警告其他想要惹我们的人 |
| [16:36] | We need to take back our t-shirts’ image | 我们得找做新闻的人安排一次采访 |
| [16:38] | by setting up an interview with the news. | 拯救一下我们T恤的形象 |
| [16:40] | And by “we,” I mean you. | 我说”我们”的时候 我是说你 |
| [16:42] | Look, if I learned one thing from my time on Cops, | 听着 如果我在上”执法先锋”节目时得了一个教训的话 |
| [16:46] | it’s that I can hop a fence in three seconds flat. | 那就是我得花三秒整才能跳过一个篱笆 |
| [16:49] | If I learned two things, it’s that the camera | 如果得了两个教训的话 那就是摄像机 |
| [16:51] | makes me look guilty. | 让我看上去有罪 |
| [16:53] | Especially when it’s a security camera at Banana Republic. | 特别是那个在香蕉共和国里的监控录像机 |
| [16:57] | I can’t do it. | 我可不能去 |
| [16:58] | The world can’t know that Caroline Channing | 这个世界不能知道Caroline Channing |
| [17:00] | is involved in another high-profile crime. | 和另外一场备受瞩目的犯罪相关 |
| [17:02] | And hasn’t kept up her nail maintenance, like, at all. | 而且还一点都没有保养她的指甲 |
| [17:05] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [17:06] | Because if I learned three things from Cops, | 如果我在上”执法先锋”节目时得了三个教训的话 |
| [17:09] | it’s that it’s best to surrender early and not naked. | 就是最好在还没有被剥光之前趁早投降 |
| [17:20] | We really appreciate you taking the time to talk to us. | 我们很感激你们抽出时间来和我们谈 |
| [17:23] | If you really want to thank me, | 如果你们想谢我 |
| [17:24] | how about I get some pixels up over my grill? | 能不能给我的脸上打点马赛克? |
| [17:27] | I got some kids looking for me and they don’t need the help. | 有几个小孩在找我 我不想帮他们 |
| [17:31] | We don’t have the capability to do that. | 这个我们做不到 |
| [17:33] | This is live TV. | 这是电视直播 |
| [17:35] | How about one of those voice distorting machines? | 那么那种变声装置怎么样? |
| [17:38] | You know, make my voice sound like a fat Transformer. | 就是那种能把我的声音变得像大胖变形金刚的 |
| [17:41] | Um, no. | 呃 没有 |
| [17:44] | No problem. | 没问题 |
| [17:46] | I’ll take care of that myself. | 我会自己搞定的 |
| [17:48] | Been in this sitch before. | 以前也干过 |
| [17:51] | All right, in 3, 2… | 好吧 3秒 2秒… |
| [17:53] | Good evening. In Williamsburg… | 晚上好 在威廉斯堡… |
| [17:55] | Max, I’m right here, if you need me. | Max 如果你需要我的话 我就在这里 |
| [17:57] | I got this. | 我能搞定 |
| [17:59] | Now infamous in the shocking “Cupcake Captives” story. | 这个因为令人震惊的”纸杯蛋糕绑架案”而声名狼藉的地方 |
| [18:00] | I’m here with the owner, Max Black. | 我和店主Max Black在一起 |
| [18:04] | Hi, Maria. | 嗨 Maria |
| [18:09] | Max, how upset were you to see that Richard Griffin | Max 你知道Richard Griffin是Max自制纸杯蛋糕店 |
| [18:12] | was Max’s Homemade Cupcakes’ biggest fan? | 最大粉丝的时候 你烦恼吗? |
| [18:15] | I was really upset. | 我非常不高兴 |
| [18:17] | Okay, hi. Stepping in. | 好吧 嗨 我来吧 |
| [18:19] | Max is clearly so upset by all this | Max看来是因为这一切 |
| [18:21] | that she’s lost her mind. | 难过得都疯了 |
| [18:23] | The one time I really needed her, anyway. | 我真的需要她的时候就掉链子 |
| [18:25] | Hi, Maria. | 嗨 Maria |
| [18:27] | How will your company’s reputation recover | 你的公司和一个在家里 |
| [18:29] | from doing business with a man | 囚禁了三个女人的男人做生意 |
| [18:31] | who held three women in his apartment against their will? | 你们的名声要怎么恢复? |
| [18:34] | Look, people do terrible things. | 听着 人们会做一些可怕的事 |
| [18:36] | And they do them wearing shirts. | 还是穿着衣服在做 |
| [18:40] | That doesn’t make the shirt evil. | 这并不代表衣服是邪恶的 |
| [18:41] | Now, if a shirt commits a crime, lock it up. | 如果一件衣服犯了罪 那就把它关起来吧 |
| [18:43] | You’ll get no argument from me. | 我不会和你争论的 |
| [18:45] | – Should I jump back in? – I got this | – 我需要回来吗? – 我能搞定 |
| [18:51] | Okay, yeah. That’s all the time we have. | 好吧 呃 我们时间到了 |
| [18:53] | – Thank you. – Mm-hmm. | – 谢谢 – 嗯哼 |
| [18:54] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:01] | Caroline, thank you for trying to throw me a shower. | Caroline 谢谢你为我办单身派对 |
| [19:04] | I mean, we were never really friends or close. | 我是说 我们一直不是什么亲密的朋友 |
| [19:08] | And yeah, I run away when I see you heading towards | 是啊 我逃跑是因为你走向 |
| [19:10] | the mailboxes the same time as me… | 那个信箱的时候 我… |
| [19:12] | Please stop thanking me. | 别谢我了 |
| [19:15] | Hey. Want to come to our place? | 嘿 想来我们家吗? |
| [19:17] | Those pig feet haven’t gone bad. | 那些猪蹄还没坏呢 |
| [19:19] | I guess. It’s hard to tell. | 我猜是猪蹄 很难辨别 |
| [19:21] | Yeah. The best meat’s under the toe nails. | 是啊 最美味的肉就在指甲下面 |
| [19:26] | Is it? | 是吗? |
| [19:33] | Surprise. | 惊喜 |
| [19:38] | Oh, my God, what’s all this? | 天啊 这是怎么回事? |
| [19:40] | Oh, no. I’m so surprised. | 天啊 我太吃惊了 |
| [19:41] | No, I really am this time. | 我这次是真的很吃惊 |
| [19:43] | – So am I. – Me, too. | – 我也是 – 我也是 |
| [19:46] | Until this sausage, I thought the grossest thing | 在我尝到这个香肠之前 我还以为吃过的 |
| [19:48] | I’d ever eaten was kale. | 最难吃的东西是甘蓝呢 |
| [19:49] | Oh, my God, I can’t believe it. | 天啊 真不敢相信 |
| [19:51] | Could anything be more wonderful? | 还有什么能比这更好吗? |
| [19:57] | Max, I can’t believe you did all this. | Max 真不敢相信你做了这件事 |
| [19:59] | I thought you came home to do what you usually do | 我以为你回家是干你平时不开心的时候 |
| [20:01] | when you get depressed. | 经常干的事呢 |
| [20:02] | Get drunk and throw the finger at people from the stoop. | 喝醉酒 然后对着台阶上的人竖中指 |
| [20:06] | No stoop. But I am drunk. | 台阶没有 不过我的确是喝醉了 |
| [20:08] | You think I could’ve done this sober? | 你以为我清醒的时候能做这种事? |
| [20:10] | I just figured, with everything around us being so black lately, | 我只是觉得 我们身边的事最近那么黑暗 |
| [20:13] | I thought we needed a little pink. | 我们需要一点粉红色 |
| [20:15] | You’re right. We did. | 你说得对 |
| [20:16] | ‘Cause our t-shirt business is over. | 因为我们的T恤生意是完了 |
| [20:18] | And we still have to pay off that bank loan. Now what? | 我们还得还银行贷款 怎么办? |
| [20:21] | We’ll figure something out. We always do. | 我们会找到办法的 我们都能成功 |
| [20:24] | Hey, girls, come quick. | 嘿 姑娘们 快来 |
| [20:26] | We’re gonna play “Guess Sophie’s Favorite Sex Position” | 我们要来玩”猜猜Sophie最爱的体位是什么” |
| [20:28] | Whoo! | 哦! |
| [20:31] | It’s on all fours, watching How To Get Away With Murder. | 是后背位 还得看着”逍遥法外” |
| [20:35] | See? I told you I was gonna win. | 看到了吧? 我就说我会赢的 |
| [20:41] | And it just got black again. | 生活又变黑暗了 |
| [20:44] | Yeah, real black. | 是啊 非常黑暗 |
| [20:46] | This is wet. Max, did you already eat this? | 这是湿的 Max 你已经吃过这个了吗? |
| [20:48] | I told you I don’t like a strawberry centre. | 我跟你说我不喜欢草莓糖 |
| [20:51] | I am not gonna beat myself up about it. | 我才不会打自己一顿呢 |