| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Ah, it’s like I’m back in my mother’s womb. | 啊 我好像又回到我妈的子宫里了 |
| [00:10] | Only, there’s food here. | 只是这里有食物 |
| [00:15] | Ugh, those e-cigs are so stupid. | 电子烟这玩意儿真是蠢透了 |
| [00:18] | I mean, smoking real cigarettes kills you, | 抽真烟能要你的命 |
| [00:20] | but smoking fake ones makes me want to kill you. | 但是抽假烟让我想要了你的命 |
| [00:24] | They’re not smoking. They’re vaping. | 他们抽的不是烟 是电子烟 |
| [00:27] | Uh-oh. He just passed it to her. | 呃喔 他还把烟递给了她 |
| [00:28] | Someone’s getting date vaped. | 人家都在以电子烟之名约会了 |
| [00:32] | I just figured out the new phones. | 我才刚搞清楚新手机咋用 |
| [00:35] | Now I’ve got to figure out how to smoke? | 现在我还得搞清楚怎么抽烟? |
| [00:38] | If I wanted to learn everything all over again, | 要是我想把一切都重新学起 |
| [00:40] | I would have had a stroke. | 我早就中风了 |
| [00:44] | Hey guys, sorry, but you’re not allowed to do that in here. | 不好意思 各位 你们这种举动是不允许的 |
| [00:48] | And I’m not talking about your outfits. | 我指的不是你们的装扮 |
| [00:50] | I’ll get to those when I bring the check. | 我等等给你们找钱的时候再吐槽那个 |
| [00:53] | Relax, it’s not a cigarette. | 放松点 这不是香烟 |
| [00:55] | It has a battery. | 它有电池的 |
| [00:56] | Yeah, so does my vibrator, but… | 是啊 我的震动棒也有电池 但是… |
| [01:00] | can’t use that in here either. | 那个在这里也不能用 |
| [01:04] | I didn’t approve that rule. | 但我对那规定也不赞同 |
| [01:25] | Well, I think we ordered too many of our cupcake tees. | 我觉得咱们订购了太多的纸杯蛋糕裇衫了 |
| [01:28] | There are more unworn shirts here | 这儿没穿过的衣服 |
| [01:30] | than in Matthew MacConaughey’s closet. | 比马修·麦康纳衣橱里的还多了 |
| [01:34] | Hey, girls. | 嘿 姐妹们 |
| [01:37] | Look at me. | 你们看看我 |
| [01:39] | I got my Sunday bra on ’cause I just came from church. | 我穿上了我的周日胸罩 因为我刚从教堂回来 |
| [01:44] | Was it my church? | 是我经常去的教堂吗? |
| [01:46] | The Church of Latter-Day Sluts? | 后荡妇时代教堂吗? |
| [01:49] | Oleg and I are looking for one to get married in. | Oleg和我在找一个地方作为结婚礼堂 |
| [01:52] | And it’s got to have a wheelchair ramp | 而且那个地方一定要有轮椅坡道 |
| [01:54] | ’cause I’ve got a lot of cousins who were born without leg bones. | 因为我很多堂表亲一出来就没腿骨的 |
| [02:00] | I’m so excited for you, Sophie. | 我真为你感到高兴 Sophie |
| [02:02] | You deserve all the happiness in the world. | 你理应是全天下最幸福的女人 |
| [02:05] | I mean, so do I, but that’s obviously not happening. | 我也应当如此 但显然我没这种福分了 |
| [02:08] | Are you done with your pity-party? | 你自怜自艾结束了吗? |
| [02:12] | ‘Cause I got to speak to Max. | 我要和Max说几句话 |
| [02:14] | Max, do you want to be my maid of honor? | Max啊 你愿意做我的首席伴娘吗? |
| [02:18] | I would rather be eaten alive by a rabbit. | 我宁愿被一只兔子活吞了 |
| [02:24] | Which would take a long time and be a lot less embarrassing. | 因为这也要好长时间 但不会让我尴尬 |
| [02:29] | And Sophie, you don’t really want me | Sophie啊 你不是真心想让我 |
| [02:30] | to be your maid of honor. | 做你的首席伴娘的 |
| [02:31] | That’s right. I don’t. | 是啊 我不想 |
| [02:35] | So why are we even talking about it? | 那我们还在讲这件事干什么? |
| [02:37] | Sophie, as honored as I am that you asked, | Sophie 我很荣幸能受到你的邀请 |
| [02:41] | it’s just not really my thing, you know, man? | 但这事儿真的不适合我啊 你懂吗? |
| [02:44] | Is this really not your thing? | 这事儿真的不适合你? |
| [02:46] | It’s nobody’s thing. | 这事儿就没有谁适合啊 |
| [02:49] | You just do it ’cause you’re supposed to, | 因为要你做 你就去做啊 |
| [02:50] | like bleaching your teeth or your anus. | 就像刷牙和洗屁眼一样 |
| [03:00] | Thank God I’m off the list, | 幸好你没考虑我 |
| [03:02] | ’cause that bridesmaid spa day is gonna be rough. | 因为伴娘水疗日那天一定会难熬极了 |
| [03:06] | Look, I’m sorry, it’s just, I was a maid of honor | 对不起 我当过首席伴娘 |
| [03:09] | in fifth grade when my mom married her cult leader. | 当时是五年级 我妈妈嫁给了一个邪教教主 |
| [03:13] | And then she was my maid of honor | 一个礼拜之后我和他结婚 |
| [03:14] | when I married him a week later. | 我妈又是我的首席伴娘 |
| [03:17] | So I’m kind of maid-of-honored out. | 所以我有点不太想当首席伴娘了 |
| [03:20] | Maybe I’ll get one of my old sorority sisters | 也许我去找个姐妹会里的旧识 |
| [03:22] | to be my bridesmaid. | 来当我的伴娘吧 |
| [03:24] | I’m gonna go home and find out | 我要回家去看看 |
| [03:27] | which one is still thin enough to fly commercial. | 谁还能瘦得可以坐进商务飞机 |
| [03:32] | All right, where are we gonna store all these shirts? | 好吧 我们要把这些衣服放在哪里? |
| [03:35] | It’s already too crowded in here | 这里空间已经不够了 |
| [03:36] | with all the cupcakes, shame, and failure. | 挤满了纸杯蛋糕 羞辱 和失败 |
| [03:40] | We’ll sell some of these at the cupcake window, | 在我们自家的纸杯蛋糕窗口可以卖掉一些 |
| [03:42] | 20 of these are already going | 这里的20件已经被卖给了 |
| [03:43] | to that fancy boutique in Manhattan, | 曼哈顿的一家高档的精品时装店 |
| [03:45] | and the rest, maybe we’ll get lucky | 剩下的么 我们也许会走运 |
| [03:47] | and find a gay little league team. | 找到一个同性恋小联盟队 |
| [03:51] | Oh, I know! | 哦 我知道了! |
| [03:52] | Let’s get drunk. | 我们去喝醉吧 |
| [03:54] | That’s your solution to everything. | 你什么事情都是这个解决方案 |
| [03:56] | Seriously. | 我说真的 |
| [03:58] | We need to just take some to that new bar | 我们得拿一些去那个新开的酒吧 |
| [03:59] | where idiots pay $20 for a drink. | 那里的白痴花20美元买一杯酒 |
| [04:02] | Drunk and stupid, that’s our target audience. | 一群愚蠢的醉汉 那就是我们的目标人群 |
| [04:06] | And also, the special skills I’ve listed on my resume. | 这特殊技能我在自己的简历里也有写到 |
| [04:10] | So you’re saying we’re gonna stoop so low | 所以你是说我们已经卑微到这种程度了 |
| [04:12] | as to sell T-shirts out of a duffle bag in a bar? | 要拿着行李袋去一个酒吧里卖衣服? |
| [04:17] | Yeah, we’re there. | 是的 我们已经堕落了 |
| [04:26] | How much do you think this pays? | 你觉得这工作有多少工资? |
| [04:28] | ‘Cause I can do that. | 我干得了这活啊 |
| [04:29] | Yes, you can. | 是啊 你干的了 |
| [04:30] | All you need is a stepladder and boobs. | 你只有一个梯子和一对大胸就行 |
| [04:34] | Feel like the Star Trek: Next Generation bar. | 这地方感觉像是星际迷航:下一代主题酒吧 |
| [04:36] | Keep your eyes peeled for Whoopi Goldberg in a crazy hat. | 把眼皮给剥了 扮成乌比·戈德堡 再戴个疯帽子 |
| [04:39] | I can’t believe I’m selling T-shirts out of a duffle bag | 我也无法相信我拿着一个行李袋 |
| [04:42] | in the future, too. | 在未来卖衣服 |
| [04:43] | Yeah. I fully support mixing business and pleasure. | 是啊 我完全支持把公事和享乐混在一起 |
| [04:47] | Best sex I ever had was with my boss at a Panera Bread. | 我最棒的一次性体验是和老板在帕纳拉面包那次 |
| [04:51] | I thought you said the best sex you ever had | 我记得你说过最棒的一次 |
| [04:53] | was with a dude with six fingers. | 是和一个六个手指的哥们 |
| [04:55] | Same guy. | 是同一个人啦 |
| [04:56] | Man, could he make a sandwich crazy fast. | 天啊 他做三明治像是疯了一样快 |
| [05:00] | Hi. Want to buy a cool tee for your girlfriend? | 嗨 你想为你的女朋友买一件很酷的T恤吗? |
| [05:03] | Let me see if my girlfriend wants a tee. | 我问问我女朋友想不想要T恤 |
| [05:05] | You want a tee, honey? | 你想要T恤吗 亲爱的? |
| [05:08] | Hey! Hey! | 嘿! 嘿! |
| [05:09] | Not so fast. | 别走那么快啊 |
| [05:10] | They say “cream filled” on the back. | 它后面可写着”装满了奶油”呢 |
| [05:12] | Huh, boys? Anything? | 呃 兄弟们? 有感觉吗? |
| [05:16] | Wow, gays aren’t fun in the future. | 哇 未来的同性恋可一点都不好玩 |
| [05:20] | Hey. | 嘿 |
| [05:22] | Jesus comes back in the future. | 耶稣从未来归来 |
| [05:25] | So what’s in the bag? | 这包里有什么? |
| [05:27] | I’ve never met a girl at a bar with actual baggage. | 我从来没在酒吧见过一个带着行李袋的女孩 |
| [05:30] | That’s funny because you mean like emotional. | 真有趣 因为你是想说我情绪丰富 |
| [05:35] | You’re really beautiful. | 你真的很漂亮 |
| [05:37] | Mmm. You weren’t nearly this hot in the book. | 嗯 你在圣经里可没那么帅 |
| [05:41] | So can I get you ladies a drink? | 可否让我请你们喝酒? |
| [05:43] | Sure, you could just change this water into wine. | 当然可以 你可以直接把这杯水变成酒 |
| [05:47] | Can you, like, do this for me, just, like, once? | 你能不能为我 就这样 甩一次秀发? |
| [05:52] | Drinks on me. | 酒算我的 |
| [05:53] | Oh, lucky them. | 它们艳福不浅啊 |
| [05:56] | I haven’t heard I’m beautiful from a non-homeless person | 除了流浪汉之外 我已好久没听过别人 |
| [05:59] | in months. | 夸我漂亮了 |
| [06:00] | Well, with that hair, the jury’s still out. | 从他的发型来看 也难确定身份啊 |
| [06:03] | Hey, can I kiss you? | 嘿 我能吻你吗? |
| [06:06] | I suppose a peck wouldn’t… | 我想轻吻一下无妨… |
| [06:11] | Say what? | 神马情况? |
| [06:17] | – I’m James. – I’m wet. | – 我叫James – 我湿了 |
| [06:19] | Because my arm was sitting in water on the bar. | 因为我胳膊蹭到吧台上的水了 |
| [06:24] | That was so hot, Max. | 太热辣了 Max |
| [06:26] | I have, like, this animal attraction to him. | 他对我有种野兽般的狂野吸引力 |
| [06:28] | What animal? The Horny Nerd? | 什么野兽? 饥渴的书呆子? |
| [06:32] | Look, I’ll leave. You stay and do your thing. | 听着 我要走了 你留下来浪吧 |
| [06:34] | – But we came together. – Yeah, I know you guys did. | – 但我们是一起来嗨的啊 – 是啊 你们俩挺嗨 |
| [06:36] | It happened, like, the second he kissed you. | 他一亲你的时候你就嗨了 |
| [06:39] | I don’t do this. I just met him. | 这不是我风格 我才刚认识他 |
| [06:41] | Look, Caroline. | 听着 Caroline |
| [06:42] | I haven’t read the Bible. | 我没有读过圣经 |
| [06:43] | But I know that when Jesus returns, | 但是我知道当耶稣归来之时 |
| [06:46] | you must follow him back to his apartment. | 你必须跟着他回到他的住所 |
| [06:49] | Let go… | 别拘束… |
| [06:51] | let God… | 让主耶稣… |
| [06:52] | get to third base. | 带你走完全程 |
| [07:04] | Max, where’s Caroline? | Max Caroline呢? |
| [07:06] | I haven’t seen her all day. | 我一整天没见到她了 |
| [07:07] | But I’m guessing she’s in heaven. | 但我猜她在天堂呢 |
| [07:10] | I’m here, I’m here. | 我来了 我来了 |
| [07:11] | Nope, she’s in hell. | 不是 她在地狱了 |
| [07:14] | Walk of shame, party of one. | 彻夜不归 派对荡妹 |
| [07:18] | Girl. | 妞 |
| [07:20] | Gir-irl! | 小妞儿! |
| [07:23] | Tell me everything that happened. | 把所有情况都告诉我 |
| [07:25] | Leave out no details. | 事无巨细 |
| [07:26] | It was insane. I mean, like, so hot. | 太疯狂了 太火热了 |
| [07:29] | Like the Caribbean or our shower that one time. | 热得像加勒比海 或像我们上次洗澡那样 |
| [07:35] | What are you two celebrating? | 你们欢呼什么呢? |
| [07:37] | I know it isn’t a job well done. | 我知道肯定不是工作出色 |
| [07:42] | We are celebrating the release | 我们在庆祝新的星球大战:第七部 |
| [07:43] | of the new Star Wars: Episode VII trailer online. | 预告片在网上上映了 |
| [07:46] | Seriously? | 真的吗? |
| [07:52] | Max, we did everything. | Max 我们什么都做了 |
| [07:55] | We… | 我们… |
| [07:56] | Oleg, can you give us some privacy? | Oleg 能给我们点隐私吗? |
| [07:57] | What? | 怎么? |
| [07:59] | I can’t be in the ladies’ room. | 我不能出现在女厕 |
| [08:00] | I can’t be in the kitchen. | 也不能在厨房呆着了 |
| [08:06] | So did you… | 所以你们… |
| [08:09] | No. | 没有 |
| [08:10] | Well, did you… | 好吧 那你们… |
| [08:13] | No! | 没有! |
| [08:15] | Well, did you at least… | 那你们起码… |
| [08:18] | Oh, God, no! | 天 当然没有! |
| [08:20] | Well, what did you do? | 那你们到底干嘛了? |
| [08:21] | Water a plant together? | 一起浇花? |
| [08:25] | We had sex. | 我们做爱了 |
| [08:28] | Last night and today. | 昨晚和今天 |
| [08:29] | That’s a big thing for me. | 这对我来说是件大事 |
| [08:31] | And, yes, it was. | 没错 确实大事 |
| [08:35] | Yes. That was obvious in the bar. | 嗯 在酒吧时就很明显 |
| [08:38] | Skinny jeans are just boner X-rays. | 紧身牛仔裤让下体一览无余 |
| [08:43] | Oh, no. Oh, no. | 哦 不 哦 不 |
| [08:44] | What, rat in the slaw again? | 怎么 沙拉里又有老鼠了? |
| [08:47] | My rings. | 我的戒指 |
| [08:48] | I left them at his place. | 我落在他家了 |
| [08:50] | I have to get them back. | 我得拿回来 |
| [08:51] | They’re half my belongings. | 它们是我的半副身家了 |
| [08:53] | So just text him and say, “Yo, I left my rings, | 那就发个短信说 “嘿 我戒指忘拿了 |
| [08:56] | nice wiener” “100” emoji, send. | 小弟弟不错” 选个满分的表情 发送 |
| [09:00] | Max, I can’t text a guy first. | Max 我不能先给男方发短信 |
| [09:03] | It’s bad enough I have a Groupon for intimacy oil. | 买润滑油都要团购已经够糟糕了 |
| [09:07] | Look, worst-case scenario, the McRib is gone for good. | 最坏的情况 也就是你再也吃不到带”骨”大牛排了 |
| [09:13] | Second worst-case scenario, we can always implement | 第二坏的情况就是我们总可以采取 |
| [09:16] | the two-week rule. | 两周法则嘛 |
| [09:17] | The two-week rule? | 两周法则? |
| [09:19] | Wait, isn’t that how long you have to eat Pad Thai | 慢着 就是两周内要吃完泰式炒面 |
| [09:20] | before it becomes bad Thai? | 否则会变质吗? |
| [09:22] | No, you really have to read my book. | 不是 你真的该读读我的书 |
| [09:25] | It means if he doesn’t text for two weeks, | 指的是如果他两周内不发短信 |
| [09:27] | you can break in and get your stuff. | 你就可以闯进他家取回你的东西 |
| [09:32] | All that fancy school and you didn’t learn nothing. | 白读那么多好学校 你啥也没学到 |
| [09:39] | Two weeks and nothing. | 两周了屁都没有 |
| [09:42] | I really thought he’d text. | 我真以为他会发短信的 |
| [09:45] | I also thought Grown Ups 2 should have won the Oscar. | 我还以为”长大成人2″会得奥斯卡奖 |
| [09:49] | Still got it. | 仍然屡猜不中 |
| [09:51] | Come on. | 麻利点 |
| [09:54] | Wait, before I lose the rest of my self-esteem… | 等下 在我把剩下的自尊也丢完之前… |
| [09:57] | Tell that to the wall you’re currently straddling. | 跟你骑着的那面墙说去 |
| [10:01] | Let me just check my phone one more time to see if he… | 让我再查下手机看看他有没有… |
| [10:03] | Nope. | 没有 |
| [10:04] | Self-esteem gone. | 自尊心彻底没了 |
| [10:09] | I’m afraid to jump. | 我不敢跳 |
| [10:10] | Jump, whore, jump! | 跳啊 小贱人 给我跳! |
| [10:12] | I sound like my mom teaching me how to swim. | 听起来像我妈教我游泳似的 |
| [10:18] | I did it. I did it. | 我做到了 我做到了 |
| [10:20] | That was, like, two feet. | 墙才两英尺高 |
| [10:21] | I’ve snorted lines longer. | 我擤的鼻涕都比这长 |
| [10:23] | All right. | 哎呀呀 |
| [10:25] | Just another Tuesday. | 又是普通的一天 |
| [10:27] | Going all Bling Ring in Jesus’ backyard. | 悄悄来到耶稣的后院偷戒指 |
| [10:31] | There. That’s his bedroom window. | 这里 那是他卧室的窗户 |
| [10:33] | I know ’cause we had to close it, since I’m kind of loud. | 我很了解 因为我叫得太大声我们得关窗 |
| [10:36] | Oh, what are you like during sex? | 你在滚床单时都是啥样啊? |
| [10:41] | What do I do if he’s home? | 他要是在家怎么办? |
| [10:42] | Do you want me to kill him fast, | 你是想我手起刀落砍了他 |
| [10:43] | or do you want him to suffer? | 还是慢慢折磨他? |
| [10:45] | And by that, I mean, do you want me to hold him | 折磨的意思是 你想让我抓着他 |
| [10:47] | while you ask him why he didn’t call? | 然后你来问他为什么不打电话吗? |
| [10:49] | He’s not home. | 他不在家 |
| [10:51] | According to this Instagram, he’s at Chipotle | 看他的更新的状态 他在墨西哥餐厅 |
| [10:53] | talking to a guy with a parrot on his shoulder. | 和一个肩膀上有只鹦鹉的人在聊天 |
| [10:56] | He had no time to pop off a text to me. | 他忙得没时间发短信给我 |
| [11:01] | Oh, it’s stuck and I can’t fit my boobs through there. | 噢 我要被窗户卡住了 胸都过不去 |
| [11:05] | I can barely fit them through the Holland Tunnel. | 要知道荷兰隧道才刚刚够我的胸挤进去 |
| [11:07] | Fine. I’m going in. | 好吧 我进去 |
| [11:09] | Finally, having no boobs pays off. | 终于 飞机场还是有点用处的 |
| [11:12] | Lift my legs up. | 把我的腿抬起来 |
| [11:13] | Okay, but your legs in the air | 好吧 你一开始来这地方的 |
| [11:14] | kind of got you here to begin with. | 契机也是为了要张开双腿 |
| [11:19] | – Uh-oh. – What oh? | – 呃噢 – 噢什么? |
| [11:21] | I don’t remember him having a floral duvet. | 我不记得他的羽绒被有花 |
| [11:24] | Or a bedside toilet. | 旁边还有一个厕所 |
| [11:28] | Or a dog. Pull me out! Pull me out! | 还有一只狗 快把我弄出来! |
| [11:30] | You’ve got to read my book. | 你真得好好读读我的书 |
| [11:32] | I have a whole chapter on pulling out. | 我有一整章写的都是如何弄出来 |
| [11:36] | No, no, no, no, no! Oh, stop licking me. | 不 不 不! 噢 别舔我了 |
| [11:38] | Buster? Buster? | Buster? 怎么了 |
| [11:40] | Someone’s coming. | 有人来了 |
| [11:41] | Someone’s coming or getting licked? | 有人来了 还被舔了? |
| [11:43] | Maybe you are in the right apartment. | 或许这正是你要找的地方啊 |
| [11:48] | Get out of my house! Get out of my house! | 从我的房间里滚出去! 滚出去! |
| [11:51] | No, no. This is a big mistake. | 不 不 你误会了 |
| [11:53] | Ben, call the cops! | Ben 叫警察! |
| [11:55] | We got another crack addict here! | 这儿有个吸毒者! |
| [12:00] | We don’t have crack here! | 我们这里没有毒品! |
| [12:03] | We don’t have crack here! And tell your friends! | 我们没有毒品! 告诉你的朋友! |
| [12:21] | If these match the prints found at an Arby’s break-in in ’07, | 如果这些指纹和07年闯入阿贝餐厅嫌疑犯的指纹相吻合 |
| [12:24] | it’s purely coincidental. | 那纯粹是巧合 |
| [12:27] | I can’t believe this is happening to me. | 真不敢相信我会发生这种事 |
| [12:29] | My life is over. | 我完蛋了 |
| [12:30] | Look at the camera. | 看镜头 |
| [12:35] | I’m so humiliated. | 我真是没脸见人了 |
| [12:37] | And turn to the side. | 转过身 |
| [12:41] | Ma’am, this isn’t “Vogue: Behind Bars.” | 女士 这不是在拍”时尚:监狱诱惑” |
| [12:46] | Sorry, Officer, she’s a virgin. | 对不起 警官 她还是个处女 |
| [12:49] | Me, myself, spent some time in the juvie system | 我曾在普罗维登斯的青少年教养院 |
| [12:51] | up in Providence. | 呆过一段时间 |
| [12:53] | You know a family court judge named Shelly? | 你认识一个叫做雪莉的家庭法院法官吗? |
| [12:54] | No. Go. | 没有 过去 |
| [12:58] | Oh! Officer, hold. | 噢! 警官 等一下 |
| [13:04] | Thanks, but stay away during the full-body cavity search. | 谢谢 但是全身检查的时候离我远一点 |
| [13:08] | Proceed. | 开始吧 |
| [13:09] | You think? | 要你命令我? |
| [13:14] | So you girls broke into an old lady’s house, | 所以你们两个闯进老婆婆的家里 |
| [13:17] | got halfway through the window, and stole absolutely nothing. | 爬进窗户 却什么都没偷 |
| [13:22] | Glad I am protecting the city from you. | 真高兴是我来保护这座城市啊 |
| [13:24] | I mean, ISIS who, right? | ISIS组织算得了啥 |
| [13:28] | All right. Let’s go. | 好了 我们走吧 |
| [13:30] | If he had just texted me, none of this would be happening. | 如果他给我发短信 就不会发生这些事 |
| [13:33] | I wouldn’t be in prison, I’d be home. | 我就不会进监狱 而是呆在家 |
| [13:35] | My other prison. | 我的另一个监狱 |
| [13:37] | Uh, wait, if who had texted you? | 噢 等下 如果谁给你发短信? |
| [13:39] | Thanks for asking. | 谢谢你的关心 |
| [13:42] | This guy I slept with didn’t text me | 这个家伙把我睡了之后 |
| [13:44] | for two weeks after we had sex, and I left my rings | 就两个星期都没给我发短信 我还把戒指 |
| [13:46] | at his place, so I… | 落在他家 所以我… |
| [13:47] | You did the two-week rule? | 你这是遵循两周法则? |
| [13:52] | Yeah. | 是的 |
| [13:53] | But she got the wrong apartment because, knowing her, | 但是她找错了地方 你懂的 |
| [13:55] | her eyes were closed the whole time. | 她在嘿咻的时候全程是闭眼的 |
| [13:58] | Well, why didn’t you say so? | 哎 你怎么不早说呢? |
| [14:00] | We got a two-week rule over here! | 这里有一个两周法则的傻瓜! |
| [14:04] | Stay right over here. | 呆在这里别动 |
| [14:06] | We’ll get you out soon. | 一会我们就能放你们走 |
| [14:07] | I left my billy club at the Captain’s house. | 我把我的警棍丢在了警长家里 |
| [14:10] | He’s got three more days. | 他还有三天时间 |
| [14:14] | See? See? | 看见了吗? 看见了吗? |
| [14:15] | It’s gonna be fine. | 没事的 |
| [14:16] | We’ll just chill here for an hour. | 我们只需要悠闲地等一个小时 |
| [14:18] | It’s like an edgier Lens Crafters. | 这里就是警局版的亮视点眼镜店 |
| [14:21] | What am I gonna tell my father? | 我该怎么跟我爸爸说呢? |
| [14:24] | A prisoned prison call? | 从监狱打电话给监狱? |
| [14:26] | I can’t be here. | 我不能呆在这 |
| [14:27] | I can’t be here! | 我不能呆在这! |
| [14:29] | No! No! Come back! We were good! | 不! 不! 快回来! 我们没事的! |
| [14:33] | Dumb move. | 愚蠢的行动 |
| [14:35] | Dumber than me and the Captain. | 比我和队长还愚蠢 |
| [14:39] | Let me guess, our glasses won’t be ready in an hour. | 我看 我们的眼镜一个小时是配不好了 |
| [14:53] | I can’t believe you got us arrested in jail. | 简直难以置信 你把我们关到了监狱里 |
| [14:58] | Where are we going? | 我们要去哪儿? |
| [14:59] | I mean, besides nowhere in life. | 生活已经无处可去 |
| [15:02] | You girls lost your get-out-of-jail-free card. | 这会儿已不能让你们俩免费出狱了 |
| [15:04] | You’re gonna have to get someone to bail you out. | 得有人保释你们才行 |
| [15:06] | You’re going in the holding cell. | 你们去拘留室待着吧 |
| [15:08] | Yo! Fresh meat! | 嘿! 小鲜肉来了! |
| [15:12] | Sorry, I have a reputation to uphold. | 抱歉 我也得维护自己的威望 |
| [15:22] | Max, I’m scared. | Max 我太害怕了 |
| [15:23] | I got this. | 交给我 |
| [15:25] | Yo! She’s already my bitch! | 嘿! 这婊子已经是我的了! |
| [15:27] | So she can’t be anyone else’s. Sorry. | 谁也别想动她 不好意思了 |
| [15:32] | Hold my belt. | 抓着我的皮带 |
| [15:34] | – What? – Do it! | – 什么? – 照我说的做! |
| [15:37] | ‘Sup, ‘sup? | 有事吗 有事吗? |
| [15:39] | Cool, cool. | 酷 酷 |
| [15:42] | 50 women, 1 toilet? | 五十个人 一个厕所? |
| [15:44] | It’s like backstage at The View. | 这就像是”视野乐团”的后台啊 |
| [15:49] | Max, I can’t handle this. | Max 我受不了了 |
| [15:51] | I can’t handle this. | 我受不了了 |
| [15:52] | I couldn’t even watch The Green Mile. | 我甚至都不忍心看绿里奇迹了 |
| [15:55] | Relax. This is play-jail. | 放轻松 我们只不过是在玩监狱游戏 |
| [15:57] | It’s not like we’re doing real time. | 这可不像是我们平常的游戏 |
| [15:59] | Just put on your game face. | 把你玩游戏时的表情摆出来就行了 |
| [16:00] | I don’t have a game face. | 我哪有玩游戏时的表情 |
| [16:03] | Unless the game is “I Give Up, My Life Is Over,” | 除非是 “我不干了 我的生活完蛋了” 这种游戏 |
| [16:05] | then this will do. | 我现在就是那种表情 |
| [16:08] | Well, do something, because that’s about to get wiped off | 那么 做点什么 不然那个正向我们走来 |
| [16:11] | your face by the bruiser covered in tattoos | 满身纹身的壮女人 |
| [16:13] | making her way to us right now. | 就要撕开你的脸了 |
| [16:16] | Hey! | 嘿! |
| [16:18] | You guys signing up for the talent show? | 你们是报名参加才艺秀的吗? |
| [16:21] | Excuse me? | 再说一遍? |
| [16:23] | Yeah. Some of us have been in here for days, | 我们中有些人已经在这儿好几天了 |
| [16:26] | due to prison overcrowding. | 都怪监狱的人太多了 |
| [16:27] | So the guards let us put on a show. | 所以守卫允许我们搞表演 |
| [16:30] | As long as nobody dies. | 只要别死人就行 |
| [16:33] | Wow, prison has changed. | 哇 监狱已经变了 |
| [16:36] | Maybe I have a Norman Rockwell idea of prison, | 我能想象在诺曼•洛克威尔笔下的监狱了 |
| [16:38] | but, uh, what happened to shanking a snitch | 不过要是在排队打饭时往告密者 |
| [16:40] | in the food line? | 插上一刀要怎么弄? |
| [16:41] | Oh, a talent show, that’s not scary at all. | 哦 才艺秀 这一点也不可怕 |
| [16:44] | You know, I won my yacht club talent show | 告诉你 我在游艇俱乐部才艺比赛 |
| [16:47] | three years in a row, in the 10 to 13 division. | 10到13岁的小组里 连续赢了三年 |
| [16:50] | That’s crazy! | 这太疯狂了! |
| [16:51] | I’m looking at 10 to 13 for grand theft auto. | 我正看着10至13岁的侠盗车手呢 |
| [16:55] | Where are my manners? | 我真没礼貌 |
| [16:56] | I’m Tanaya. | 我是Tanaya |
| [16:58] | I’m Max. This is Caroline. | 我是Max 这是Caroline |
| [16:59] | But you can call us by our gang names, | 但你可以用我们组合的名字叫我们 |
| [17:02] | White Lightning and The Blade. | “白色闪电”和”断刀客” |
| [17:07] | Sophie, I need you to bail me and Caroline out jail. | Sophie 我需要你来保释我和Caroline出狱 |
| [17:10] | We got charged with breaking and entering, | 我们因破门入室罪被抓了 |
| [17:11] | which is also what Caroline let a guy do to her, | Caroline也让一个家伙入了她的蓬门 |
| [17:13] | and that’s why we’re here. | 所以我们才进了这里 |
| [17:16] | Oh, jeez, Max. | 天啊 Max |
| [17:19] | I mean, that’s a tough call. | 你这来电真让我为难 |
| [17:21] | I mean, I don’t know if I can. | 我不知道自己能不能行啊 |
| [17:28] | Yeah, it’s really not my thing. | 但这事儿我真的干不来啊 |
| [17:31] | You know, man? | 你懂的 哥们儿? |
| [17:36] | I get it. I deserved that. | 我明白 是我活该 |
| [17:38] | I said no to you, so you’re saying no to me. | 我拒绝了你 所以你也拒绝我 |
| [17:41] | Like the old saying, “Tit for bigger tat.” | 正如俗话说的”以胸还大胸” |
| [17:46] | Yeah. Hmm. | 是啊 嗯 |
| [17:48] | All right, let’s see. | 好吧 这样吧 |
| [17:50] | Uh, I would bail my maid of honor out of jail. | 我会保释我的伴娘出狱 |
| [17:55] | Fine. Fine. | 好 好 |
| [17:56] | I’ll be your maid of honor. | 我会当你的伴娘 |
| [17:58] | I’ll buy you penis straws, and those glasses | 我会给你买鸡鸡形的吸管 还有 |
| [18:00] | where the nose is a penis. | 鼻子上是个鸡鸡的眼镜 |
| [18:02] | Yeah! And the penis-shaped pasta? | 好! 还要鸡鸡形的意大利面? |
| [18:05] | I’ll do it all. | 我全都照办 |
| [18:07] | I can handle the slammer, but Caroline doesn’t stand a chance. | 我不怕坐牢 但是Caroline完全接受不了 |
| [18:11] | I saw a woman looking at her | 我看见一个女的在盯着她 |
| [18:12] | like she was a cartoon pork chop. | 就像她是个卡通猪排一样 |
| [18:16] | Okay. Well, I’ll see you soon. | 好了 我们一会儿见 |
| [18:18] | And watch your back. | 小心背后 |
| [18:19] | Oh, you know what? | 噢 不对哦 |
| [18:21] | It’s a ladies’ prison, so watch your front. | 这是女子监狱 所以小心你的前面 |
| [18:31] | Is this your card? | 这是你那张牌吗? |
| [18:33] | No. | 不是 |
| [18:34] | Yes! | 是! |
| [18:35] | Yes, that’s my card. | 是 这就是我那张牌 |
| [18:37] | Amazing. | 太棒了 |
| [18:39] | Okay. What’d I miss? | 好了 我错过什么了? |
| [18:42] | The magic show and the improv troupe. | 魔术表演和即兴戏剧 |
| [18:44] | They asked the audience for a word. | 他们让观众点评一下 |
| [18:45] | I said, “Help.” | 我说的是 “救命啊” |
| [18:48] | Sophie’s coming down with bail money, | 等Sophie的火鸡出炉了 |
| [18:50] | as soon as her turkey is out of the oven. | 她就会带着保释金过来 |
| [18:52] | So 4, 4 1/2 hours, depending on the stuffing. | 四小时 或四个半小时 取决于馅料的多少 |
| [18:55] | Thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
| [18:57] | Wait. Bail for both of us, right? | 等等 保释我们两个人 对吗? |
| [18:58] | That wasn’t her original offer. | 她最开始不是这么说的 |
| [19:00] | But after some negotiating, we got there. | 但经过一番协商后 我们成功拿下了 |
| [19:03] | What did you have to do to… | 你答应她的条件是… |
| [19:05] | Max, you didn’t agree to… | Max 你不会是答应… |
| [19:06] | Yup. | 对 |
| [19:08] | Picture me in something low-cut and peach. | 想象下我穿着低胸露点装的样子 |
| [19:11] | A slutty peach. | 淫荡的样子 |
| [19:14] | You’d do that for me? | 你为了我这样做的吗? |
| [19:15] | I’m touched and shocked. | 我既感动又惊讶 |
| [19:17] | I thought you’d have forgotten me, had sex with the door guard, | 我还以为你已经把我忘了 跟门卫做爱去了 |
| [19:19] | and been halfway across the parking lot by now. | 然后现在已经在去停车场的途中 |
| [19:22] | Yeah, well, he wasn’t into me, so… | 这个嘛 他对我没兴趣 所以就… |
| [19:32] | Walk of shame, party of two. | 蒙羞之旅 二人成双 |
| [19:35] | Girls, I heard you got locked up. | 姑娘们 我听说你们被关起来了 |
| [19:37] | Yup. We have to do 30 hours of community service. | 是 我们必须做三十小时的社区服务 |
| [19:40] | And Caroline won six minutes of privacy on the toilet | Caroline还在才艺秀里赢得了六分钟的 |
| [19:42] | in the talent show. | 私人如厕时间 |
| [19:43] | Well, not so private. | 其实也不是那么私人 |
| [19:45] | I had to tinkle while a woman in work boots | 我尿尿时还得跟一个穿着工作靴的女人 |
| [19:48] | made heavy eye-contact. | 四目相对 |
| [19:50] | I went to prison once for being at the wrong place | 我进过一次监狱 因为我在错误的时间 |
| [19:53] | at the wrong time. | 去了错误的地方 |
| [19:54] | Meaning, I was down south. | 也就是说 我去了南部 |
| [19:59] | Look who’s back from the big house. | 看看是谁从”大房子”监狱回来了 |
| [20:03] | Every house is a big house for you, Han. | 对你来说 每个房子都是大房子 Han |
| [20:05] | Watch your step, ex-con, | 小心脚下 有前科的人 |
| [20:07] | or I’ll get the to haul you back in for impersonating a waitress. | 否则我会以冒充服务生的名义让你回监狱去 |
| [20:13] | I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I missed this place. | 我不敢相信我会说这话 但我想这个地方了 |
| [20:16] | When I was up in the pen, doing time with my girl, Tanaya… | 我被困在监狱里 和我的姐妹Tanaya一起的时候… |
| [20:19] | Well, orange you the new black? | 所以 你也要参演女子监狱了吗? |
| [20:22] | So did you two have fun in ladies’ prison? | 你们俩在女子监狱玩的开心吗? |
| [20:25] | And tell me, is it anything like the 17 XXX movies | 跟我说说 是不是像我的那些 |
| [20:27] | I have with that title? | 标着17禁的电影一样? |
| [20:30] | Okay, so I lost two of my best rings. | 好吧 我丢了我的两个最好的戒指 |
| [20:33] | So I’m out $11. | 所以我连11美元都没了 |
| [20:35] | I realized I’m tougher than I thought. | 我意识到我比自己想的要坚强 |
| [20:37] | I sang in prison. I had a one-night stand. | 我在监狱里唱歌 有了一夜情 |
| [20:40] | I’m practically Johnny Cash. | 我差不多赶上约翰尼·卡什了 |
| [20:43] | Well, Johnny No Cash. | 你是约翰尼·没钱 |