| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Care for a cupcake? | 来个纸杯蛋糕吗? |
| [00:04] | Well, our new outdoor seating area | 我们的新的室外座位区 |
| [00:06] | is about as popular as Paula Deen at an NBA game. | 就如保拉・迪恩在NBA现场一样倍受冷落 |
| [00:06] | 保拉・迪恩: 美国明星厨师 | |
| [00:12] | How much longer do we have to be out here? | 我们还要在这里坐多久? |
| [00:14] | We are cold. | 我们好冷 |
| [00:16] | So, so cold. | 超级冷 |
| [00:18] | I can see my breath. | 我都能看到呼出的空气 |
| [00:20] | And my boys are up by my rib cage. | 我的鸡鸡冻得戳到胸口了 |
| [00:24] | I can smell his breath. | 我都能闻到他的口臭 |
| [00:27] | And my boys are up by where my boys used to be. | 我的鸡鸡被冻得跟年轻时一样硬了 |
| [00:32] | And these customers aren’t helping. | 这些顾客根本帮不上忙 |
| [00:36] | How could we have thought a strong Han presence | 我们怎么会以为Han坐在门口 |
| [00:38] | would make it more popular? | 能增加蛋糕销量的? |
| [00:40] | Max, in hindsight, | Max 我就说了吧 |
| [00:41] | it feels like us not springing for those heat lamps | 不重新花钱去买取暖灯 |
| [00:44] | was a bad call. | 是个错误的决定 |
| [00:46] | Uh, you think? | 是你自己觉得吧? |
| [00:48] | Guys, I just peed a little to keep warm. | 各位 为了保暖 我刚撒了点尿 |
| [00:54] | Well, I peed a little | 我也撒了点尿 |
| [00:58] | ’cause I had no choice. | 因为我没办法了 |
| [01:02] | Great, they’re stuck to the bench. | 好吧 他们黏在长椅上了 |
| [01:07] | Go get the windshield scraper. | 去把挡风玻璃铲拿过来 |
| [01:26] | Reading Us Weekly, Earl? | 你在看”我们”周刊吗 Earl? |
| [01:28] | Ooh, “Stars. They’re just like us.” | 噢 “明星 和平凡人一样” |
| [01:30] | Well, if they’re just like us, where’s the picture | 如果他们真和我们一样 那怎么没有 |
| [01:32] | of them turning their underwear inside out? | 他们把内裤翻过来重复穿的照片? |
| [01:38] | Caroline left it in the men’s room. | Caroline把这个留在了男厕所里 |
| [01:41] | And as I said that out loud, | 当我把这话说出来时 |
| [01:43] | I realized that I must have been in the ladies’ room. | 我就意识到我肯定是错入了女厕所 |
| [01:48] | I can’t see, Max. | 我眼睛不好 Max |
| [01:51] | Max, I’ve got some exciting news! | Max 我有个让人兴奋消息! |
| [01:54] | Eh, I vowed I’d never get excited about anything again | 我发过誓 在看过最后一部”夺宝奇兵”之后 |
| [01:57] | after that last Indiana Jones. | 我不会再为任何事兴奋了 |
| [01:59] | I found us two discount heat lamps on Sherry’s list. | 我在”雪丽清单”网上找到了两盏折扣取暖灯 |
| [02:03] | It’s like Craigslist, but without the high probability | 它和分类广告网相似 但降低了 |
| [02:05] | of being murdered by a deranged medical student. | 被某个疯狂医学生杀掉的风险 |
| [02:08] | And about those lamps? | 那些取暖灯? |
| [02:10] | Uh, no. | 才不要 |
| [02:11] | We can’t worry about our outdoor business. | 我们不必再担心室外生意啦 |
| [02:13] | We barely have an indoor business. | 因为店里都快没生意了 |
| [02:15] | And we never will, with that attitude. | 照你这个态度 我们再也不会有生意了 |
| [02:17] | I’m gonna ask you one more time: | 我再求你一次: |
| [02:19] | please listen to those Tony Robbins tapes | 拜托去听听我们在垃圾里找到的 |
| [02:22] | we found in the garbage. | 托尼・罗宾斯的励志磁带吧 |
| [02:24] | Well, girls, | 姑娘们 |
| [02:26] | tomorrow’s the day I’ve been looking forward to | 明天就是我盼了三年的 |
| [02:28] | for three years. | 大好日子 |
| [02:29] | You’re getting your teeth cleaned? | 你要去洗牙了吗? |
| [02:33] | Sorry, that’s what’s we’ve been looking forward to. | 抱歉 那是我们盼望着的事情 |
| [02:35] | I’m moving in with Sophie. | 我要搬去和Sophie同居 |
| [02:37] | From now on, the booty call is coming from inside the house. | 从现在开始 不出家门我也能上辣妹了 |
| [02:42] | I couldn’t help but overhear. | 我只是无意听到的 |
| [02:45] | From way back there? | 这么远都能听到? |
| [02:46] | Your ears should give a pep talk to the other parts of your body. | 你的耳朵真该给你的全身做个身残志坚的演讲 |
| [02:50] | And, Oleg, if you need any help with the move, | Oleg 如果你搬家需要帮手的话 |
| [02:53] | might I offer my services? | 我可以去帮你忙吗? |
| [02:55] | My trainer Skylar says I’m getting ripped. | 我的教练Skylar说我有肌肉了 |
| [02:59] | Yeah, ripped off by Skylar. | 是啊 你是Skylar给坑了吧 |
| [03:02] | Thanks, Han. | 谢了 Han |
| [03:03] | And as a bit of a payback, | 作为小小的回报 |
| [03:04] | I’ll wash my hands back here tonight. | 我今晚回来时会洗手的 |
| [03:08] | See you later, neighbors. | 一会儿见 邻居们 |
| [03:11] | Oleg’s moving in? | Oleg要搬过来? |
| [03:12] | This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. | 这是我遇上最糟糕的事情 |
| [03:14] | And I lost $2 billion. | 比损失了20亿还糟糕 |
| [03:16] | What is the problem? This is all good news. | 有什么问题? 这都是好消息 |
| [03:20] | Sophie and Oleg are in love. | Sophie和Oleg相爱了 |
| [03:22] | Yeah! | 没错! |
| [03:23] | And they’ll be in love | 他们就会在我们的楼梯上 |
| [03:24] | on our stairs, | 在我们的大厅里 |
| [03:26] | in our hallway, | 在洗衣房 |
| [03:28] | and on every surface of the laundry room. | 所有的平面上相亲相爱 |
| [03:31] | What do you know about love anyway, Christian Single? | 再说 你懂什么爱 单身”相亲”汉? |
| [03:35] | I know Jesus has a girl for me. | 我知道上帝为我准备了妹子 |
| [03:38] | He has to. | 他必须准备 |
| [03:40] | I’m $400 deep into that damn website. | 我在相亲网上花了400刀 |
| [03:44] | Look, we just make a pact | 听着 我们必须制定条约 |
| [03:46] | that no matter what happens upstairs, | 无论楼上 楼梯上 |
| [03:48] | or on the stairs or in the laundry room, | 还是洗衣房里发生了什么事 |
| [03:50] | we don’t invite it into our apartment. | 绝对不能让他们进我们的公寓 |
| [03:52] | Hey, everybody! | 各位好! |
| [04:00] | It’s raining cats and goats out there. | 外面在下倾盆大羊 |
| [04:04] | Don’t you mean “cats and dogs”? | 你是想说”倾盆大雨”吗? |
| [04:06] | Oh, it’s so nice to be corrected as you walk in the door. | 一走进门就被纠正错误的感觉真好 |
| [04:11] | Hey, baby. | 嘿 宝贝 |
| [04:12] | Can you believe in 24 hours we’ll be living in sin? | 你能相信24小时内 我们就要活在罪恶里吗? |
| [04:16] | Oh, don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [04:17] | My parents don’t know. | 我父母不知道 |
| [04:20] | I’m having a dinner party tomorrow night to celebrate. | 我明晚要开个晚宴来庆祝 |
| [04:23] | And also because I have 15 pounds of beef | 还有个原因 我有15磅牛肉 |
| [04:26] | that’s about to go bad. | 快要变质了 |
| [04:28] | So, Max, Caroline, are you in? | Max Caroline 你们来吗? |
| [04:30] | Actually, Sophie, we’re busy… | Sophie 其实我们很忙… |
| [04:32] | We’ll be there. | 我们会去的 |
| [04:34] | If there’s beef involved, I’m involved. | 只要有牛肉 我就会去 |
| [04:38] | What happened to the pact we just made? | 你忘了我们刚才制定的条约吗? |
| [04:40] | I hate to tell you this… | 我真不愿告诉你… |
| [04:41] | if it comes down to you or beef, | 要在你和牛肉间选的话 |
| [04:43] | I’m always going beef. | 我永远会选牛肉 |
| [04:56] | That was Sherry from Sherry’s list. | 是”雪丽清单”的雪丽发来的 |
| [04:58] | She makes you call her that. | 她非要我那么叫她 |
| [04:59] | She said she’s consider charging us $150 | 她说如果我们能自己去提货 |
| [05:01] | if we pick up the heat lamps themselves. | 她可以考虑取暖灯只收我们150刀 |
| [05:03] | And I’m charging you with three counts of interrupting | 你打扰了我看”坐劣质高脚凳的婴儿”视频 |
| [05:06] | this “Baby in a Faulty High Chair” video. | 我要罚你三倍的金额 |
| [05:10] | Someone fell in real life! | 有人摔倒了! |
| [05:15] | You told me you had it. | 你说在你手上的 |
| [05:17] | I said I didn’t have it. | 我说了我没拿 |
| [05:19] | It’s Oleg and Han moving in. | 是Oleg和Han在搬家 |
| [05:21] | Get away from the door! | 离门远点! |
| [05:23] | Han will see your feet under the door. | Han能从门缝里看到你的脚 |
| [05:24] | They’re right at his eye level. | 这正对他的视平线啊 |
| [05:27] | This is like a horror movie… Saw III. | 简直就是恐怖片… 电锯惊魂3 |
| [05:30] | Because when Han bent over, | 因为Han弯腰的时候 |
| [05:32] | I saw 3 inches of his crack. | 我看到他露出的3英寸屁股沟 |
| [05:36] | So you saw his whole crack? | 所以你啥都看到了? |
| [05:39] | Step away! | 后退! |
| [05:40] | Open the door, Max. | 开门 Max |
| [05:42] | I’m about to kill Han, | 我要杀了Han |
| [05:43] | and I know you’re gonna want to see that. | 我知道你想看的 |
| [05:45] | Damn it! He’s right. | 该死! 他说得对 |
| [05:51] | Cute outfit, Han. | 这服装挺可爱的 Han |
| [05:53] | Like one of those male strippers | 穿的和”雷霆猛男”里面的 |
| [05:55] | from “No Thunder From Down Under.” | 脱衣舞男一样 |
| [05:59] | This is so heavy. | 这箱子太重了 |
| [06:01] | Oleg, what do you have in here? | Oleg 你这里面装了什么呀? |
| [06:03] | Socks! | 袜子! |
| [06:06] | Really, Han, | 不是吧 Han |
| [06:07] | It’s like your arms are only there for decoration. | 你的两条胳膊只是用来装饰的啊 |
| [06:12] | To be fair, Oleg’s socks | 公平来说 Oleg的袜子里 |
| [06:14] | probably have some pretty heavy loads in them. | 也许装着他千千万万的子孙后代 |
| [06:17] | Oleg, what is all your junk doing out here? | Oleg 你把你的垃圾都堆这干嘛? |
| [06:20] | Do I actually smell girls screaming? | 我确实是听到妹子的尖叫声了吗 |
| [06:24] | I bring things up, Sophie says “No,” | 我把东西搬上去 Sophie说了句”我不要” |
| [06:27] | I bring them right back down. | 我就得把这些东西都搬回去 |
| [06:28] | Is there no elevator up in this bitch? | 这烂楼里就没个电梯吗? |
| [06:32] | Oleg, you forgot your painting, | Oleg 你忘了你的画 |
| [06:35] | and this one’s a definite “No.” | 这也是明确被拒绝的东西之一 |
| [06:37] | Sophie, I haven’t gotten a “Yes” yet, | Sophie 我还没听到你说一句”我要”呢 |
| [06:39] | aside from the quickie we had up against the bathroom sink. | 除了咱俩在厕所洗水池上速战速决那会儿 |
| [06:43] | Not such a quickie. | 哪是什么速战速决 |
| [06:45] | They locked me out and I had to eat my lunch in the truck. | 他们把我锁在外面 我只得在货车里吃午饭 |
| [06:48] | Then what was the point of me renting a moving truck? | 那我租一辆货车又有什么意义? |
| [06:52] | I mean, besides the rough sex we had up against the sides? | 除了可以倚着车厢壁完成高难度动作的一炮 |
| [06:55] | They locked me outside on the side of the road for that one. | 那次他们把我锁在车外 扔在路上了 |
| [07:00] | Okay, well, we have to go back in. | 好了 我们该回去了 |
| [07:02] | See you tonight at the beef-a-thon. | 今晚的牛肉全餐见 |
| [07:05] | No, Oleg. | 不 Oleg |
| [07:07] | Maybe I’m being unfair. | 也许是我做得不公平 |
| [07:09] | I mean, you have all this stuff that you like, | 这些东西都是你喜欢的 |
| [07:12] | and they have an apartment. | 而她们又有个公寓 |
| [07:14] | Put it in there. | 把它们放进去吧 |
| [07:16] | Sophie! | 喂Sophie! |
| [07:18] | I’ll see you at 8:00! | 8点见! |
| [07:20] | So what do you say, girls? | 你们说呢 妹子们? |
| [07:22] | Absolutely not… | 绝对不行 |
| [07:23] | Yes. | 可以 |
| [07:25] | Max, there’s a method to my madness. | Max 我答应自有我的道理 |
| [07:28] | Oleg, will you excuse us a second? | Oleg 可以让我们说几句话吗? |
| [07:30] | And maybe help Han with that box. | 你可以帮帮Han拿箱子 |
| [07:31] | In those shorts, I can actually see a hernia happening. | 站在那堆短裤里面 他都要得疝气了 |
| [07:38] | I thought we weren’t getting involved! | 我还以为我们不牵涉其中的! |
| [07:40] | If we help Oleg out, | 如果我们帮Oleg的忙 |
| [07:42] | he’ll let us use the moving truck | 他会把那辆货车借给我们 |
| [07:43] | to pick up our heat lamps. | 去运我们的加热灯啊 |
| [07:44] | I already said “No” to those. | 我已经说了”我不要” |
| [07:45] | But we just talked about it! | 但是我们说好了啊! |
| [07:47] | I wasn’t listening! | 我没在听啊! |
| [07:49] | That baby fell face-down into mashed potatoes. | 那个小宝宝可是把脸摔进了土豆泥里了! |
| [07:53] | But you said “Yes” to the dinner party, | 但是你答应了这个牛肉全餐 |
| [07:56] | so if you get your meat, I get my heat. | 所以你要吃你的肉 那我要我的热 |
| [08:00] | Just because you rhyme doesn’t make it okay. | 别以为你说得押韵我就同意了 |
| [08:04] | And I’m pretty sure that’s what Rihanna said to Chris Brown. | 而且那句话肯定是蕾哈娜对克里斯・布朗说的 |
| [08:17] | Where are we meeting this chick with the heat lamps? | 我们要去哪里跟这妹子见面买加热灯啊 |
| [08:19] | I haven’t gone this far for something I didn’t want | 自从计划生育在新泽西实施起 |
| [08:21] | since Planned Parenthood moved to New Jersey. | 我就没有为自己不想要的东西而跑过这么远 |
| [08:24] | Hello! | 喂! |
| [08:26] | I’m getting truck sick back here. | 我在后面都要晕车了 |
| [08:27] | You’re a worse driver than people assume I am. | 人人皆认为我的开车技术烂 你比我还烂 |
| [08:31] | Come on! Come on! | 快点! 快点! |
| [08:33] | We’re gonna be late to dinner! | 我们快要赶不上晚餐啦! |
| [08:34] | Would any of you be interested in playing | 有人愿意和我玩剪刀石头布吗 |
| [08:37] | rock-paper-scissors for a seat up front? | 赢的人就可以坐前面 |
| [08:39] | No! | 不行! |
| [08:40] | Girls, can I ask you a relationship question? | 妹子们 我可以问你们一个感情问题吗 |
| [08:44] | No! | 不行! |
| [08:45] | And besides, what would we know about relationships? | 而且 我们哪会了解什么感情问题 |
| [08:48] | That’s like asking Donald Trump | 就像你去问唐纳德・特朗普 |
| [08:49] | for the name of a good hairstylist. | 有什么好发型师一样 |
| [08:52] | I mean, what’s the deal with her? | 她到底是怎么回事? |
| [08:53] | She asks me to move in, | 她让我搬过去 |
| [08:55] | and then won’t even let me have my painting? | 但是连一副画都不能带过去? |
| [08:57] | I mean, Sophie already bought the cow. | Sophie连奶牛都买了一头 |
| [08:59] | She might as well let the cow’s crap in. | 她也许还会允许那奶牛拉屎 |
| [09:02] | So you’re saying I’m right. | 所以你的意思是我有理 |
| [09:05] | No, no, but I do think… | 不 不 但我确实觉得… |
| [09:06] | No, you don’t think, | 不 你才不觉得 |
| [09:08] | or your mouth wouldn’t be moving right now. | 你纯粹就是没话找话说罢了 |
| [09:10] | I’m just saying, | 我只是说 |
| [09:12] | he has the right to move some of his stuff | 他有权把他的东西搬进 |
| [09:14] | into Sophie’s apartment and out of ours. | Sophie公寓 并从我们公寓搬出去 |
| [09:17] | Speaking of his stuff, | 说起他的东西 |
| [09:19] | there’s something in a box back here | 这盒子里面有个东西 |
| [09:20] | is humming, and… oh, it stopped. | 正震动… 哦 停下了 |
| [09:24] | Oh, it started again. | 哦 又开始了 |
| [09:26] | That’s my lifelike mouth with authentic jaw action. | 这玩意可是有着仿真的人类嘴部 |
| [09:29] | Oleg, watch the road! | Oleg 看路! |
| [09:31] | The last words I hear can’t be “lifelike mouth.” | 我真心不想听到”仿真嘴” 这种东西 |
| [09:38] | Everything looks very nice, Sophie. | 你这里相当不错啊 Sophie |
| [09:41] | Yeah, see, | 是嘛 |
| [09:43] | I’m not gonna talk until the other guests arrive. | 在其他客人来到之前我不打算说话 |
| [09:48] | I got to save my hostess sparkle for the real guests. | 我要把热情的待客之道留给真正的贵宾 |
| [09:53] | Hey, baby. | 嘿 宝贝 |
| [09:54] | Where the hell have you been? | 你究竟死哪儿去了 |
| [09:57] | That was a pretty loud sparkle. | 这待客之道真是热情的要命 |
| [10:00] | It’s my fault we’re late, Sophie… | Sophie 大伙儿迟到全怪我 |
| [10:02] | It’s okay. Just sit down. | 没事 坐下吧 |
| [10:04] | Don’t you want to know what I was… | 你想不想知道我刚刚… |
| [10:06] | No, really. | 不想 |
| [10:07] | I got a pot roast over here | 我这里的炖牛肉 |
| [10:08] | that’s a hell of a lot more interesting. | 比你有趣多了 |
| [10:11] | Max, thank God you’re here. | Max 感谢上帝你来了 |
| [10:13] | There was so much awkward silence, | 刚才的安静真是太尴尬了 |
| [10:15] | I pretended I got a phone call from a banana. | 我还得假装接到一条香蕉的来电 |
| [10:20] | I’m gonna take a quick shower. | 我得去厕所冲一冲 |
| [10:22] | Oh, Oleg, Dinner is ready. | Oleg 晚饭做好了 |
| [10:25] | You don’t have time to run down to the “Y” now. | 没时间让你去打飞机了啊 |
| [10:28] | No, I meant I would shower here. | 不 我是说要在这里冲个澡 |
| [10:32] | Here… | 这里… |
| [10:36] | In my bathroom? | 用我的浴室? |
| [10:39] | Uh… | 呃… |
| [10:40] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [10:41] | I live here now. | 我都搬来住了 |
| [10:43] | Oh, yeah. | 哦 对啊 |
| [10:46] | That’s right. | 还真是呢 |
| [10:48] | Imagine that. | 我要想象一下 |
| [10:52] | Hey, Oleg, why don’t you just come over here | 嘿 Oleg 你不如过来 |
| [10:53] | and sit next to Earl? | 坐Earl旁边? |
| [10:55] | Because he’s old and I’m sure his smeller is shot. | 因为他年纪大了 嗅觉没那么灵敏的 |
| [11:00] | Sophie, you really must write a “how to entertain” book. | Sophie你一定要出本”待客之道”的书 |
| [11:06] | Here we go: | 要上菜了 |
| [11:07] | Grandma Chinkski’s pot roast. | 金克斯基姥姥的招牌炖肉 |
| [11:11] | This looks amazing. | 看起来真可口 |
| [11:12] | I love a root vegetable in the winter. | 我特喜欢在冬天吃根菜 |
| [11:14] | Can it ever just be about me? | 可以只以我为中心吗? |
| [11:22] | # Beef, beef, beef # | # 小啊小牛肉 # |
| [11:24] | # B-beef, b-beef, beef # | # 牛啊牛啊肉 # |
| [11:27] | What? That’s my beef song. | 咋了 我在唱自己的牛肉歌啊 |
| [11:31] | I’d like to make a toast to Sophie. | 我想敬Sophie一杯 |
| [11:34] | Oh, that’s sweet. | 真是贴心 |
| [11:36] | But not with that glass. | 但别用那酒杯 |
| [11:38] | That’s Grandma Chinski’s crystal. | 那是金斯基姥姥的玻璃杯 |
| [11:40] | Baby, I was in the middle of a toast. | 宝贝 我正在给你敬酒呢 |
| [11:43] | Oh, I’m sorry, but… | 真是不好意思 可… |
| [11:45] | those are my favorite thing! | 这些杯子是我的最爱啊! |
| [11:48] | Grandma Chinski traded two of my slow cousins for those. | 是金斯基姥姥用两个傻表兄换来的 |
| [11:55] | Well, you know, it’s funny. | 说来好笑 |
| [11:57] | I have a favorite thing too. | 我也有个最爱 |
| [11:59] | In fact, why don’t I just go and get it? | 要不 我去拿来给你看看? |
| [12:02] | I can’t believe it. | 真不敢相信 |
| [12:04] | I’m about to meet Loni Anderson! | 马上就要见着洛尼・安德森了! |
| [12:04] | 洛尼・安德森 美国女星 | |
| [12:07] | Can someone help me lift up my fork? | 有人能帮我提下叉子吗? |
| [12:10] | My arms are still sore from the move. | 搬趟东西我的双臂已经酸得不行了 |
| [12:13] | Open up. | 张开嘴 |
| [12:16] | Someone else has to feed Han. | 换你们来喂Han吧 |
| [12:18] | He just licked my pinky. | 他刚刚舔到了我的小指 |
| [12:22] | Earl, what are you doing over there? | Earl 在那干啥呢? |
| [12:26] | Just hanging out with R&B sensation, | 在陪节奏布鲁斯歌手闲逛呢 |
| [12:29] | Mary J.-juana. | 大名鼎鼎的大麻玛丽 |
| [12:33] | Oh, good. | 好极了 |
| [12:34] | So you’re in the right mind-set to hand-feed a 30-year-old man. | 你这心态最适合去喂一个30岁的男人了 |
| [12:39] | Oh, no, no, no, no, no. | 哦 别别别别 |
| [12:41] | I think that’s Polish for “No.” | 我估计波兰人就这么说”不”的 |
| [12:44] | Uh… huh. Yes, Sophie. | 啊哈 就是这个 Sophie |
| [12:46] | It’s my painting. Excuse me… our painting. | 这是我的油画 说错了 我们的油画 |
| [12:49] | And it’s going up on our wall. | 现在要挂在我们的墙上 |
| [12:52] | Is it me, | 是我的问题呢 |
| [12:54] | or is this party tense as hell? | 还是这派对的气氛相当紧张啊? |
| [12:59] | I don’t think Sophie and Oleg are gonna make it. | 我觉得Sophie和Oleg合不来啊 |
| [13:04] | Uh… oh. Am I talking out loud right now? | 啊哦… 我大声说出来了吗? |
| [13:09] | I told you, I don’t want that thing in here. | 早跟你说了 我不要这东西挂在这里 |
| [13:13] | I don’t understand. It’s just a painting. | 我不明白 不就是幅油画嘛 |
| [13:15] | What’s so bad about it? | 有什么大不了的? |
| [13:18] | Oh, my God. | 我的天哪 |
| [13:23] | Nice, huh? | 不错吧? |
| [13:24] | I did it myself. | 我亲手画的 |
| [13:25] | It’s a paint-by-numbers. | 我的个人肖像 |
| [13:27] | You mean it’s a Putin-by-numbers. | 你是想说普京肖像吧 |
| [13:30] | Why are his nipples so big? | 为什么上面乳头这么大? |
| [13:33] | They don’t seem that big to me. | 我觉得不会太大啊 |
| [13:36] | Oh, I am too high for this. | 哦 我已经嗨得受不了 |
| [13:41] | I’m not high enough. | 我还不够嗨呢 |
| [13:45] | In my culture, big nipples mean power and wealth. | 在我那 大乳头意味着财富和权力 |
| [13:49] | In our culture, big nipples means, | 在我这 大乳头意味着 |
| [13:51] | “Wears a t-shirt in the pool.” | “麻烦穿上衣服再去泳池” |
| [13:54] | There. | 挂好了 |
| [13:56] | I like it. | 我挺喜欢的 |
| [13:59] | Adds a certain something to the room. | 给这房间带来种莫名的格调 |
| [14:03] | Every wall needs nipples. | 每面墙都得挂上乳头 |
| [14:06] | So a guy knows where to look. | 那样男人们就知道看哪了 |
| [14:10] | Thank you for telling me to do this, Caroline. | 谢谢你的主意 Caroline |
| [14:14] | She did? | 她的主意? |
| [14:19] | I’d get up and run, but my legs are like taffy. | 我想站起来溜走 但我双腿发软 |
| [14:23] | Seriously, | 说真的 |
| [14:24] | you told him to hang that thing up? | 你居然让他把那玩意儿挂起来? |
| [14:27] | In fairness, I had not seen the painting | 说实在的 我当时还没见着那油画 |
| [14:30] | when I suggested something like that. | 所以我才这么建议他的 |
| [14:32] | I mean, I get it. | 我是说 我明白 |
| [14:34] | It’s gorgeous. | 这确实很霸气 |
| [14:36] | But it doesn’t go with the decor. | 但这跟屋内的装潢不搭 |
| [14:39] | What? | 什么? |
| [14:41] | Is it throwing off this gorgeous outdoor-indoor swing? | 所以你要丢掉这幅霸气的里外两用的挂像? |
| [14:47] | I’ll cut you with the carving knife! | 再说小心我拿餐刀砍你! |
| [14:52] | Nobody is cutting anyone. | 谁也别砍谁 |
| [14:54] | Especially not me. | 特别是我 |
| [14:55] | Do you never learn? | 你不懂吗? |
| [14:58] | Just put some beef in your napkin like I did, | 赶紧像我这样用餐巾包住牛肉 |
| [15:00] | and let’s get out of here. | 然后赶紧离开这里 |
| [15:02] | Sophie, you asked me to move in. | Sophie是你叫我搬来住的 |
| [15:05] | Guess what? I moved in. | 现在可好? 我搬进来了 |
| [15:07] | Yes, I asked you to move in, | 是 是我叫你搬来的 |
| [15:10] | but not with big weird-nipple Putin. | 但没说带上这乳头大得出奇的普京像 |
| [15:14] | Well, how big are nipples supposed to be? | 那多大的乳头算正常? |
| [15:17] | ‘Cause… never mind. | 因为… 算了 |
| [15:20] | And what’s your problem anyway? | 那你现在又发什么疯? |
| [15:22] | I gave you a drawer. | 我都给你挪了个抽屉 |
| [15:24] | This! | 就这个! |
| [15:26] | This is my drawer, everybody. | 大家快看 这就是我的抽屉 |
| [15:29] | What good is this? | 这么小有什么用? |
| [15:31] | I can’t even get one of my ball gags in there. | 连个堵嘴球都装不下 |
| [15:35] | You asked for a drawer, I gave you a drawer! | 你说要个抽屉 这不给了你个抽屉! |
| [15:39] | And who needs 12 ball gags anyway? | 再说谁用得上一打堵嘴球? |
| [15:43] | Oh, so now you don’t like ball gags? | 哦 现在你又不喜欢戴堵嘴球了? |
| [15:46] | Who are you, lady? | 你个女人算什么? |
| [15:50] | I’ll tell you who I am… | 我告诉你我就是… |
| [15:52] | I’m the lady who’s “Putin” this is the trash! | 我就是把这普京像丢进垃圾桶的女人! |
| [16:00] | You trash that, I’ll trash this. | 你丢那个我就砸了这个 |
| [16:03] | Oh, no. | 哦 别 |
| [16:04] | Oh, you think you’re gonna break | 哦 你是觉得你能摔 |
| [16:06] | one of Grandma Chinski’s glasses? | 金斯基姥姥的玻璃杯是吧? |
| [16:08] | No, if anyone’s gonna break one, it’s gonna be me! | 没门 就算是摔 也是老娘摔! |
| [16:12] | This reminds me of the first half of my second marriage, | 这让我想起了我第二段婚姻的前半段 |
| [16:16] | and the second half of my third marriage. | 和我第三段婚姻的后半段 |
| [16:20] | Sophie, I’m done. | Sophie我受够了 |
| [16:22] | And as you said to me on our first date, | 正如你第一次约会时跟我说 |
| [16:24] | “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” | “我不知道自己受得了多少” |
| [16:30] | Fun party. | 多么有趣的聚会啊 |
| [16:33] | Not awkward at all. | 一点都不尴尬 |
| [16:35] | I should get going though. | 但是我真该走了 |
| [16:36] | Got to be up early for… what’s a thing? | 我明天还得早起… 去啥来着? |
| [16:38] | Church? | 教会? |
| [16:43] | Beef, beef, beef? | 牛肉 牛肉 牛肉? |
| [16:45] | B-beef, beef, beef, beef? | 牛 牛肉 牛肉 牛肉 牛肉? |
| [17:00] | Sorry about that dinner party last night. | 昨天的聚会真是不好意思啊 |
| [17:03] | It kind of got away from me a little bit. | 我有点失控了 |
| [17:06] | But I really appreciate you getting up early | 你们能早起帮我把Oleg的东西运回去 |
| [17:10] | and helping me move Oleg’s stuff back. | 我实在是太感激了 |
| [17:12] | I just actually feel like this is a little bit my fault… | 我只是觉得我也有错… |
| [17:15] | Seriously! | 说真的! |
| [17:16] | Can it ever just be about me? | 可以让我做焦点吗? |
| [17:20] | Hey, um, | 嘿 唔 |
| [17:22] | where are we taking his stuff anyway? | 我们要把他的东西运到哪儿去? |
| [17:24] | I don’t think goodwill will take a love seat | 我觉得即使是好意 也无法接受 |
| [17:26] | that’s actually covered in love. | 那张沾满爱液的性爱椅子 |
| [17:30] | Well, I was thinking, | 呃 我在想 |
| [17:32] | you know, since Oleg and I | 你们也知道 我和Oleg的关系 |
| [17:34] | really did have something special, | 确实不一般 |
| [17:37] | I was thinking I would just take his stuff | 所以我想着我干脆 |
| [17:39] | and dump it down by the river. | 把他的东西丢到河里得了 |
| [17:41] | Okay, I’m just gonna say it… | 好吧 我一定要说出来… |
| [17:43] | Sophie, would it kill you | Sophie 让Oleg把那幅破画 |
| [17:45] | to just let Oleg hang the damn painting? | 挂在墙上 会要了你的命吗? |
| [17:55] | So what, you just park the truck | 天啊 你就这样 |
| [17:56] | in the middle of the Van Wyck Expressway? | 把货车停在高速公路上? |
| [17:58] | Do you never learn? | 你就不能受点教训吗? |
| [18:00] | I almost ate Rent-A-Truck floor mat. | 我差点连租车公司的地毯都吃下去了 |
| [18:03] | Caroline, you get this straight… | Caroline 你把话说清楚… |
| [18:07] | Oleg was wrong. | 是Oleg的错 |
| [18:09] | And those nipples were way too big. | 普京乳头实在是太大了 |
| [18:14] | This is awkward. | 太尴尬了 |
| [18:17] | You’re in the truck? | 你在卡车里? |
| [18:19] | No, you’re in my apartment. | 不 是你在我的房间里 |
| [18:27] | I think something hit us. | 我觉得我们被撞了 |
| [18:32] | You guys just need some couples therapy. | 你们只是需要接受配偶治疗 |
| [18:34] | I’ll mediate it, | 我来帮你们调解吧 |
| [18:35] | since I’ve had therapy myself. | 我曾经给自己做过治疗 |
| [18:37] | Not as a couple, but hopefully someday. | 虽然我没有另一半 但希望在未来有 |
| [18:40] | I’m just sitting here waiting for the tow truck to come. | 我只想坐在这等拖车 |
| [18:43] | How’s your neck, Max? | 你的脖子还好吗 Max? |
| [18:46] | Not so bad. | 还好 |
| [18:47] | The second car that hit us kind of knocked | 被第一辆车撞歪的脖子 |
| [18:49] | what the first car knocked out of place back in place. | 又被第二辆车给撞回原位了 |
| [18:53] | I’ll start. | 我先来 |
| [18:54] | This woman is a fraud and a liar. | 这个女人就是一个骗子 |
| [18:57] | Okay, well, | 好吧 呃 |
| [18:58] | we need a little more Oprah, a little less Jerry Springer. | 要欧普拉式的真情 少点杰里・斯普林格式的讽刺 |
| [19:01] | Hey, don’t dis Springer. | 嘿 别说杰里・斯普林格的坏话 |
| [19:03] | They have great snacks in the green room. | 他们的绿屋子里的零食很好吃 |
| [19:05] | You were on Jerry Springer? | 你上过杰里・斯普林格的节目? |
| [19:07] | Yeah, I was on “I hate my roommate | 没错 我参加了”我讨厌我室友” |
| [19:09] | and I don’t know how to tell her.” | 但不知道怎么告诉她”那期节目 |
| [19:12] | Oleg and I are not gonna talk this thing out. | Oleg和我说不清楚的 |
| [19:15] | If you want to waste your time, | 如果你想浪费时间 |
| [19:16] | go teach in an inner city high school. | 就去市中心的中学教书吧 |
| [19:19] | You know what? Even better… | 你知道吗? 为了更有效地治疗 |
| [19:22] | I’ll do the talking for Oleg. | 我来帮Oleg说话 |
| [19:23] | Oh, then, Max… you be me, okay, Max? | 哦 那么 Max… 你来帮我 好吗Max? |
| [19:25] | Oh… I don’t know if… | 呃… 我不知道是不是… |
| [19:27] | Do you want the rest of the beef, or not? | 你还想不想要剩下的牛肉了? |
| [19:29] | This guy is a bum, and the painting has to go. | 这个家伙是个混蛋 那些画应该被丢掉 |
| [19:32] | It’s stupid. | 简直太蠢了 |
| [19:33] | Really, really good, Max | 非常 非常好 Max |
| [19:35] | but next time just arch your back a little, and, yeah. | 但是下一次 你的腰得挺直 嗯 没错 |
| [19:37] | Yeah. | 好的 |
| [19:39] | Okay, you be me. | 好吧 你来当我 |
| [19:41] | No, I don’t feel like getting a threatening erection right now. | 不 我不要受你勃起的老二威胁 |
| [19:45] | But I will say, anytime people move in together, | 但是 当人们住在一起时 |
| [19:48] | it’s a compromise. | 就得相互妥协 |
| [19:50] | Look at Max… | 看看Max… |
| [19:50] | when I needed a place to stay, she let me have my horse. | 当我需要安身之所 她还让我保留了自己的马 |
| [19:54] | Let me just say… and I brought this up on Springer… | 这么说吧 我在斯普林格的节目也这么说的 |
| [19:57] | I only let you in because of the horse. | 我是为了那匹马才让你住的 |
| [20:01] | And I finally stopped putting up a fight | 还有就是我终于不再反对 |
| [20:04] | and let Max walk around naked. | 同意让Max在街上裸奔 |
| [20:05] | When did that happen? | 这是什么时候的事? |
| [20:07] | Tomorrow. | 明天 |
| [20:09] | Oh, Oleg, | 哦 Oleg |
| [20:10] | I wouldn’t want you to give up walking around naked. | 我不想阻止你在街上裸奔 |
| [20:13] | I mean, as long as you don’t sit down on anything white. | 只要你别坐在白色的东西上面就行 |
| [20:17] | Makes sense. | 有道理 |
| [20:18] | Nobody likes a chocolate starfish on an ottoman. | 没人喜欢在椅子上留下个巧克力色的印迹 |
| [20:25] | Point, Sophie. | Sophie得分 |
| [20:27] | Ha! I’m winning, everybody! | 哈! 我赢了 看见没! |
| [20:31] | Well, it’s therapy. | 呃 这是治疗性谈话 |
| [20:32] | There are no winners and losers. | 没有输赢 |
| [20:34] | Sounds like something a loser would say. | 听起来像是输家说的话 |
| [20:37] | You know, Oleg, | 你知道吗 Oleg |
| [20:40] | this isn’t about that silly little painting. | 这不是这些破画的问题 |
| [20:44] | It’s just, uh, | 只是 呃 |
| [20:46] | a lot of change in a short amount of time… | 在这么短的时间里发生了这么多变化… |
| [20:54] | I’m so scared. | 让我感到害怕 |
| [20:58] | Sophie, | Sophie宝贝啊 |
| [21:00] | I don’t care about my stuff, as long as I have you. | 只要有你 其他东西我都不在乎 |
| [21:06] | What did we just do? | 我们做了什么? |
| [21:09] | We had them apart, and now we just put them back together. | 我们把他们分开 现在却又让他们在一起 |
| [21:11] | You did that. | 你的功劳 |
| [21:13] | You don’t know when to butt out. | 你不知道在什么时候闭嘴 |
| [21:14] | Jerry’s words. | 杰里说的 |