| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Earl, can I borrow your paper? | Earl 能借你的报纸看看吗? |
| [00:02] | I want to check my horoscope | 我想查下占星版块 |
| [00:04] | to see if I’ll still be a whore in the future. | 看看我未来是否仍是个卖肉的 |
| [00:08] | All right, who wants to go first? | 好了 谁要先来? |
| [00:09] | Ooh, do me. Do me. Do me. | 我要 我要 我要 |
| [00:13] | Can we have one night at the diner | 在这餐馆能不能有一个晚上 |
| [00:14] | that doesn’t end with you yelling that at a woman? | 不是以你对女人的呻吟声结束的? |
| [00:18] | All right, I’ll go. | 好吧 那我先来 |
| [00:19] | “Gemini, the twins,” | “双子座 双胞胎” |
| [00:20] | and they’re both doing fine, so let’s move on. | 我这对双胞胎好着呢 那就下一位 |
| [00:24] | Han, what sign are you? | Han 你是什么星座? |
| [00:25] | I’m guessing the 40-year-old Virgo. | 我猜是40岁老处女座 |
| [00:29] | Max, you don’t need that paper. | Max 你不需要看那报纸 |
| [00:31] | I’ll tell you what’s in your future… | 我就能说出你的未来… |
| [00:32] | using my name as a reference at Chipotle. | 以我做为推荐人 去Chipotle快餐店工作 |
| [00:38] | You guys really believe in that crap? | 你们当真相信这些鬼话啊? |
| [00:40] | They just tell you what you want to hear. | 他们只是说了你想听的话罢了 |
| [00:42] | “You will be rich. You will be famous.” | “你会发财 你会出名” |
| [00:45] | You’d think I’d buy a newspaper if it said, | 你觉得我会买到一张上面写着 |
| [00:47] | “You will be a 75-year-old cashier”? | “你75岁仍是收银员”的报纸吗? |
| [01:08] | Okay, ready to open? | 准备好开门了吗? |
| [01:10] | Never have been, never will be. | 从未准备好 永远准备不了 |
| [01:11] | Let’s do this. | 开门吧 |
| [01:12] | Wait. | 等等 |
| [01:14] | We have to do our business affirmation. | 先得做下开业陈词 |
| [01:16] | Please, God, don’t let us be murdered in here. | 主啊 请保佑我们别在这里被谋杀 |
| [01:20] | All right, let’s open ’em up. | 好了 我们开门吧 |
| [01:23] | – Oh, hell no. – Max. | – 卧槽 – Max |
| [01:26] | Hang on. I wasn’t done. | 等等 我还没说完 |
| [01:27] | Oh, hell no! | 我勒了个去! |
| [01:30] | Oh, she’s yarn-bombing that bike. | 她在给那辆自行车织毛衣 |
| [01:32] | It’s whimsical. It’s new. | 这很古怪 很新奇 |
| [01:34] | It’s stupid. | 也很傻 |
| [01:36] | Graffiti, I get. | 涂鸦我还勉强理解 |
| [01:38] | I see, “die, bitch. Die,” on a wall, | 我看到墙上写着”去死吧 贱人” |
| [01:40] | I think, “okay, this gentleman | 就想”好吧 这位先生 |
| [01:42] | wanted to get that off his chest.” | 只是想抒发自己的情感” |
| [01:45] | But this yarn-ival is pathetic. | 可这种编织太可悲了 |
| [01:48] | Yo, yarnie. | 哟 毛线女 |
| [01:51] | I have a name. | 我有名字 |
| [01:52] | It’s Guinevere. | 我叫格尼薇儿 |
| [01:54] | Yep, that checks out. | 看出来了 |
| [01:57] | What’s happening over here? | 这到底怎么回事? |
| [01:58] | Why are you molesting that poor bike? | 你干嘛要调戏那辆可怜的自行车? |
| [02:00] | Well… | 好吧… |
| [02:02] | I am beautifying the city | 我在美化城市 |
| [02:04] | one living, glorious work of art at a time. | 以每做一件美丽生动的艺术品的方式 |
| [02:07] | And tips are always appreciated. | 如能给点小贴士 感激不尽 |
| [02:11] | Here’s a tip: | 那给你点贴示 |
| [02:12] | go back to school and learn a trade | 赶紧回学校 趁着老爹的钱 |
| [02:14] | before daddy’s money runs out. | 没败光之前学门手艺 |
| [02:17] | Well, I never… | 我这辈子… |
| [02:19] | Worked a day in your life, we know. | 从没工作过是吧 我们懂的 |
| [02:21] | You think this is artwork? | 你觉得那是艺术品? |
| [02:23] | Artwork is a Garfield mug, sweetheart. | 加菲猫马克杯才是艺术品 亲爱的 |
| [02:27] | You got Garfield in a hammock, saying, | 你要能搞出加菲猫躺在吊床上说 |
| [02:29] | “I’m not overweight. I’m under-tall,” | “我不是胖 只是高得不明显” |
| [02:30] | I’ll build you a gallery right here. | 我立刻在这里给你办艺术展 |
| [02:35] | Look, you should move on. | 听着 你最好还是走吧 |
| [02:37] | My friend doesn’t want you… | 我朋友不想让你… |
| [02:38] | How shall I put this? | 我该怎么说呢? |
| [02:39] | Taking a giant knit in front of our shop. | 不想让你在我们店前面放个巨型毛线球 |
| [02:43] | What is the problem? It is not even your bike. | 有啥意见吗? 又不是你们的自行车 |
| [02:46] | It’s been chained here for, like, four months. | 它已经被锁在这里四个月了 |
| [02:48] | Oh, yeah? | 是吗? |
| [02:49] | Maybe it is our bike, | 也许还真是我们的车 |
| [02:51] | and we use it for deliveries | 我们用来送外卖 |
| [02:54] | and to trap nerds. | 或者困住傻子 |
| [02:58] | Peace out, ganja beer, | 走吧 瘾君子 |
| [03:00] | before I knit you a noose. | 赶在我把索命圈织出来之前 |
| [03:05] | Max, that was a great idea. | Max 那是个好主意 |
| [03:07] | What, that she go back to school? | 哪个 让她赶紧回学校? |
| [03:08] | I know. | 我就知道 |
| [03:09] | At least a couple night classes, right? | 至少也得上上夜校嘛 对吧? |
| [03:11] | Get around some people. | 认识点人 |
| [03:13] | She’s a lost cause. Let’s move on. | 她已经没希望了 不说她 |
| [03:16] | I’m talking about us doing deliveries. | 我是在说送外卖的事 |
| [03:18] | Why do we never deliver? | 我们怎么就没送过呢? |
| [03:20] | Speak for yourself. I’ve delivered. | 这话对你自己说去吧 我送过 |
| [03:25] | Seriously, Max, those delivery services… | 说真的 Max 那些提供餐饮外卖的商家… |
| [03:28] | Eat24, GrubHub… do big business. | 比如餐饮外卖网站等… 都是大生意 |
| [03:30] | No one wants to go out now. | 如今都没人想要出门了 |
| [03:32] | People are so lazy. | 人们都太懒了 |
| [03:33] | I don’t really feel like it. | 这我是真没感觉出来 |
| [03:36] | Seriously, Max, all we have to do | 真的 Max 我们只需要 |
| [03:38] | is slap a delivery charge on that product, | 在杯子上放一个快递价格 |
| [03:40] | And suddenly, a $5 cupcake is bringing in more money. | 然后忽然间 五美元的小蛋糕就能引进财源滚滚 |
| [03:43] | And do you know what more money means? | 而且你知道更多的钱意味着什么吗? |
| [03:45] | No. How would I know that? | 不知道 我怎么会知道? |
| [03:51] | Okay, question: | 好了 提问: |
| [03:53] | Which of these goes better with no pants? | 哪件衣服和不穿裤子更搭? |
| [03:57] | I don’t know. They’re both timeless… | 我不知道 它们都很不合时宜… |
| [04:00] | As in, there’s no time you should wear those. | 因为 任何时候穿都不合适 |
| [04:03] | You can’t be objective. | 你不能感情用事 |
| [04:05] | You’re like a kid in a candy store. | 就像在糖果店里的小屁孩一样 |
| [04:06] | I’ll ask Max. | 我问Max |
| [04:10] | Uh, well, the red one kind of matches your rash. | 呃 我觉得 红色那件与你的皮疹相得益彰 |
| [04:13] | I think we have a winner. | 看来有优胜者了 |
| [04:16] | So why are you trying out the fancy mesh tonight? | 你今晚为什么要穿这么迷人的网眼背心? |
| [04:19] | Well, even though Sophie and I are getting back together, | 嗯 尽管我和Sophie复合了 |
| [04:21] | We wanted to make it special and hold off on the sexual part | 我们希望这次特别一些 把做爱部分 |
| [04:24] | of the relationship until tonight. | 留到今晚再进行 |
| [04:26] | – That is so sweet. – I know. | – 太甜蜜了 – 我知道 |
| [04:28] | I haven’t even masturbated since right before I came in here. | 我甚至憋到进来之前都没撸过 |
| [04:36] | So, Chestnut, I was buying some rolling papers | 小栗子 我在小酒馆里买了一些 |
| [04:38] | at the bodega, | 大麻烟卷纸 |
| [04:39] | And I hope this is cool, but I said they were for you. | 我觉得挺酷的 但是我说是买给你的 |
| [04:43] | Max, I have good news and bad news. | Max 我有一个好消息和一个坏消息 |
| [04:46] | The bad news is, | 坏消息是 |
| [04:48] | this is the only good news I’ve had in three years. | 这个是我三年里唯一的好消息 |
| [04:51] | And the good news is… | 然后好消息就是… |
| [04:53] | You found yourself a new apartment? | 你自己找了一个新公寓住? |
| [04:56] | Don’t toy with me, woman. | 不要和我开玩笑 女人 |
| [04:57] | Speak plainly and clearly. | 赶紧清晰明了地说出来 |
| [04:59] | Did you find a new apartment? | 你是不是找到一所新公寓? |
| [05:02] | Close your eyes. I’ll give you a hint. | 闭上你的眼睛 我给你一些提示 |
| [05:04] | Last time I was told to close my eyes, | 上一次别人让我闭眼 |
| [05:06] | I woke up in a bikini on a garbage barge. | 结果醒来发现自己穿着比基尼在垃圾船上 |
| [05:09] | P.s., closest I ever got to a vacation. | 顺便说句 这是我最接近渡假的一次 |
| [05:16] | Oh, you’re dating a clown? | 哦 你在和一个小丑约会? |
| [05:20] | Please, you know I would have told you | 拜托 如果我和一个有车的人约会 |
| [05:23] | if I was dating someone who had a car. | 我肯定会告诉你的 |
| [05:25] | Look, it’s the abandoned bike from in front of the shop. | 看 这是店前面那辆自行车 |
| [05:29] | It was the bike from the front of the shop. | 这曾经是店前面那辆自行车 |
| [05:32] | Now it looks like a contestant on RuPaul’s bike race. | 现在它看上去像参加自行车变装秀的竞争者 |
| [05:36] | We’re gonna use it to make deliveries. | 我们要用它去送外卖 |
| [05:38] | I already signed us up for three delivery services. | 我已经给咱们签三单外卖的活儿了 |
| [05:40] | Still crazy smart. | 依然聪明智慧高大上 |
| [05:41] | Waste of time. | 简直浪费时间 |
| [05:43] | Amazon’s got drones, | 亚马逊都有遥控飞机了 |
| [05:44] | and we’ve got one gay bike. | 我们才有辆基车 |
| [05:47] | I don’t want to do deliveries. | 我不想做外卖 |
| [05:49] | I got this. You bake, I’ll bike. | 我负责 你烘焙 我骑车 |
| [05:51] | And while you bike, I’ll get baked. | 你骑车时我去嗨翻天 |
| [05:55] | I’m just gonna knock out these three “delivs” | 我正打算去送这三份”外递”呢 |
| [05:56] | And I’ll met you at the cupcake shop. | 然后在蛋糕店见你 |
| [05:58] | – “delivs” ? – You like “delivs”? | – “外递”? – 你喜欢”外递” 这词儿吗? |
| [06:00] | It’s an “abbreve” I made up for “deliveries.” | 这是一个我为”外卖快递” 起的”简称” |
| [06:01] | You like “abbreve”? | 你喜欢”简称” 吗? |
| [06:03] | It’s an “ab” I made up for “abbreviation.” | 这是我为”简略称呼” 起的 “简称” |
| [06:05] | I’m gonna make this short. Get out. | 我就长话短说吧 滚远 |
| [06:09] | Hey, everybody. | 嘿 各位 |
| [06:12] | Sophie, what do you think? | Sophie 你看这个怎么样? |
| [06:14] | Aw, good for you, Caroline. | 哦 真有你的 Caroline |
| [06:16] | I’ve been saying that you should hop on something | 自打我见到你 我就说你应该找个 |
| [06:18] | pink and ride it since I met you. | 粉嫩昂扬的东西 好好骑一番 |
| [06:26] | Ah, Max, I’m so glad you’re alone, | 啊 Max 我真高兴现在只有你 |
| [06:29] | ‘Cause I need some girl talk. | 因为我需要聊一些女性话题 |
| [06:31] | Okay, but the last time I did girl talk, | 好吧 但是我上次聊女性话题的时候 |
| [06:33] | I got $3 for the first minute | 前一分钟拿了3美金 |
| [06:35] | and $1 for each additional minute. | 然后每多一分钟就多加1美金 |
| [06:38] | No, it’s about Oleg. | 不 是关于Oleg的 |
| [06:40] | Last night, he was unable to… | 昨天晚上 他没办法… |
| [06:44] | Oh, what’s a nice way to say this? | 哦 怎么说才好呢? |
| [06:46] | He couldn’t get his soldier to stand at attention, | 他没办法让自己的大兵好好立正 |
| [06:50] | and his penis wouldn’t work either. | 而且他的命根子也不起作用了 |
| [06:54] | Well, uh, have you tried buying | 好吧 你有没有试过去买本 |
| [06:56] | a cosmopolitan magazine or something? | 大都会之类的杂志? |
| [06:59] | They usually have advice on sex stuff | 他们一般都会有性方面的建议 |
| [07:01] | and how to hate your body. | 还有怎样讨厌自己的身体 |
| [07:03] | Max… | Max啊… |
| [07:05] | You don’t think it could be me, do you? | 你认为问题不会是出在我身上吧? |
| [07:09] | No way, Sophie. You are hot. | 不可能 Sophie 你很性感 |
| [07:11] | Ah. | 啊 |
| [07:12] | The first time Oleg saw you, | Oleg第一次看到你的时候 |
| [07:14] | His soldier not only saluted. | 他的士兵不仅仅是敬礼了 |
| [07:15] | It exploded. | 它简直是要爆炸了 |
| [07:18] | You’re right. I am hot. | 你说的对 我说很性感 |
| [07:20] | It’s all him. | 都是他的问题 |
| [07:22] | Remember when I said you didn’t have to do deliveries? | 我之前说过你用不着去送快递吧? |
| [07:25] | You’re gonna have to do deliveries, | 你得去送快递了 |
| [07:26] | ‘Cause I only went two blocks, | 因为我只骑过了两个街区 |
| [07:27] | And I’m sweating like Shia Lebeouf | 我就像希安拉博夫在酒驾检测点 |
| [07:29] | at a DUI checkpoint. | 那般流汗流成狗了 |
| [07:40] | Okay, you deliver. I’ll open the window. | 好的 你去送快递 我来开窗 |
| [07:41] | But first, business affirmation. | 但首先 我们来做开业陈词 |
| [07:44] | Please, god, don’t let us get pistol-whipped in here. | 求你了 上帝 不要让我们在这里吃枪子儿 |
| [07:53] | It’s either that Guinevere or spider-man came out. | 这不是格尼薇儿那就是蜘蛛侠出动了 |
| [08:01] | Caroline, can I talk to you about a private matter, | Caroline 我能和你谈一件私人的事情吗 |
| [08:03] | By which I mean the matter is my privates. | 我指的是关于我私处的问题 |
| [08:06] | Okay, but hurry, Oleg. | 可以的 不过要快点 Oleg |
| [08:08] | I’m in the middle of a dream catcher situation, | 我现在被困在捕梦网中 |
| [08:10] | and it’s a nightmare. | 而且是个噩梦 |
| [08:12] | And why me? | 为什么和我说? |
| [08:13] | ‘Cause I trust and respect you | 因为我信任你 尊重你 |
| [08:15] | And I feel like you know your way around a limp penis. | 而且我感觉你了解软趴趴的小弟弟 |
| [08:21] | Maybe. | 有可能 |
| [08:23] | I talked to my therapist… | 我和我的心理医生聊过了… |
| [08:26] | Roy, you know, down at the Starbucks. | 就是那个Roy 你知道的 在星巴克里 |
| [08:29] | He told me it’s all mental. | 他告诉我这都是心理作用 |
| [08:31] | We didn’t get much further than that. | 我们没再多说 |
| [08:33] | He spilled a grande mochaccino on his sandals. | 因为他把一杯大杯摩卡奇诺倒翻在他凉鞋上 |
| [08:36] | You’re probably just scared. | 你大概只是吓坏了 |
| [08:38] | Intimacy is so hard for some guys, | 有些人很难于去和别人亲密 |
| [08:40] | It’s not hard for some guys. | 于是有些人就很难硬 |
| [08:44] | Yeah, that’s all over my head. | 是啊 这对我来说太难了 |
| [08:47] | Oh, no, Max forgot the order slips. | 哦不 Max忘拿订单了 |
| [08:49] | Oleg, I’m sure it’ll all work out. | Oleg 我肯定一切都会没问题的 |
| [08:52] | Good luck getting your penne al dente. | 祝你最后能够发射成功 |
| [08:55] | Again, over my head. | 还是太难了 |
| [09:03] | Max, what are you doing? | Max 你在干什么? |
| [09:05] | What are you doing? | 你在干什么? |
| [09:07] | What am I doing? | 我在干什么? |
| [09:08] | Well, I think I’m watching you shove | 好吧 我想我是看到你 |
| [09:10] | our delivery bike into the back of an uber car. | 把我们的快递自行车塞到了一辆车后面 |
| [09:12] | Well, this is uber-awkward. | 呃 这真是”车”级尴尬 |
| [09:15] | Come on, come on. In or out. | 快点 快点 到底是要进还是出 |
| [09:17] | All right, Caroline, this is Milesh, with a “k.” | 好吧 Caroline 他是Milesh 名字里有个K |
| [09:20] | He doesn’t go to the airport, | 他不去机场 |
| [09:22] | and he once drove some of maroon 5… | 他曾载过魔力红乐队的成员 |
| [09:25] | So maroon 3. | 还载过魔力三 |
| [09:28] | No, stop. Caroline. | 别 停下 Caroline |
| [09:29] | If you want me to deliver the cupcakes, | 如果你要我去送快递 |
| [09:31] | I can’t use the bike, I have to use the car. | 我不能骑车 我一定要开车 |
| [09:34] | Why? | 为什么? |
| [09:35] | Oh, my god, are you pregnant? | 哦 天啊 你怀孕了? |
| [09:38] | You ask me that every day, and almost every day I say no. | 你天天问我这个 我每次都说没有 |
| [09:43] | Look, I want to tell you, but it’s a secret. | 我想告诉你 但这是个秘密 |
| [09:46] | And you can’t tell anybody. | 你不能和别人说啊 |
| [09:47] | Do you seriously think I would ever tell anyone | 你觉得我会和任何人谈论 |
| [09:50] | anything about this life? | 我这样的生活吗? |
| [09:52] | Right. | 也对 |
| [09:54] | I don’t know how to ride a bike, okay? | 我不会骑自行车 行了吗? |
| [09:56] | You don’t know how to ride a bike? | 你不会骑自行车? |
| [09:58] | Max doesn’t know how to ride a bike? | Max竟然不会骑自行车? |
| [10:01] | Damn it, Caroline! | 我靠 Caroline! |
| [10:04] | Max doesn’t know how to ride a bike. | Max不会骑自行车 |
| [10:06] | Oh, happy day. | 哦 今天真开心 |
| [10:07] | I finally have something over her. | 我终于有超过她的地方了 |
| [10:09] | There is a god, | 真的有上帝啊 |
| [10:10] | and he’s laughing at her too. | 然后他也正嘲笑着她 |
| [10:14] | Lordy, this is harder to watch | 天啊 这比金・凯瑞的喜剧 |
| [10:16] | than Jim Carrey in a drama. | 还不忍直视啊 |
| [10:28] | Max, are you up? | Max 你醒了吗? |
| [10:31] | What’s that smell? Did you bring home greek food? | 这是什么味道? 你把希腊食物带到家里了? |
| [10:33] | No, that’s me. | 不 这是我身上的味道 |
| [10:35] | That’s how you smell after you ride a bike | 当你在威廉斯堡骑着单车 |
| [10:38] | all over Williamsburg delivering 14 orders of cupcakes, | 送了14次纸杯蛋糕快递 你身上就会是这个味儿 |
| [10:42] | And I do not wish to smell like this again, | 我不想再发出这种臭味了 |
| [10:44] | So you have to learn how to ride that bike, all right? | 所以你现在必须学会骑自行车 好吗 |
| [10:47] | Who do you think you are busting in here | 你这是在凶谁呢 |
| [10:50] | smelling like hummus but having no hummus? | 没吃胡姆斯酱 却一身的胡姆斯酱味道 |
| [10:53] | What is the problem? | 这有什么难的? |
| [10:55] | Didn’t your mother ever teach you how to ride a bike? | 你妈没教你怎么骑自行车吗? |
| [10:56] | No, my mother was too busy being the town bike. | 没有 我妈忙着被全城的人骑呢 |
| [10:59] | Well, then I’ll teach you. | 好吧 那我来教你 |
| [11:01] | Nope. Never getting on a bike. | 不 绝不坐上自行车 |
| [11:03] | It’s one of my three “nevers.” | 我是我三不原则之一 |
| [11:04] | Yes, well, your first “never” was, | 好吧 你的一不原则是 |
| [11:06] | “never having a blonde roommate.” | 绝不要金发舍友 |
| [11:08] | You are chipping away at me piece by piece, lady. | 我正被你千刀万剐呢 小姐 |
| [11:13] | I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on. | 你不解释原由我就死缠着你 |
| [11:16] | I’d sit on your bed, but that’s your third “never.” | 我想坐你床上 但那是你的第三个”不”原则 |
| [11:20] | When I was little, there was this kid, Tommy Doonan. | 在我小时候 有个叫Tommy Doonan的小孩 |
| [11:23] | Nice kid, solid hopscotcher. | 他是个好孩子 跳房子游戏的忠实粉 |
| [11:26] | Used to give me his fruit roll-up at lunch every day. | 以前每到午餐时间 他会把他的水果卷给我 |
| [11:29] | Max, did he give you these fruit roll-ups, | Max 那些水果卷是他给你 |
| [11:30] | or did you take them? | 还是你抢的啊? |
| [11:31] | Don’t interrupt. | 别打断我 |
| [11:33] | One day, Tommy Doonan got a new bike. | 有一天 Tommy Doonan得到一辆新自行车 |
| [11:36] | He was out front with this nice, older man | 他当时坐在前面 身后是个很亲切的 |
| [11:39] | who looked just like him. | 长得像他的老男人、 |
| [11:40] | You mean his dad? | 你说的是他爸爸? |
| [11:43] | Mm, is that what they call them? | 啊 原来他们的称呼是这个? |
| [11:45] | I assumed it was a predator. | 我把他视为一种食肉动物 |
| [11:48] | So anyway, I was making fun of him | 反正我就一直嘲笑他 |
| [11:51] | ’cause he seemed happy. | 因为他看起来很开心 |
| [11:53] | I thought that was our thing. | 我还以为我们之间才会这样相处 |
| [11:56] | And he started showing off, doing wheelies and stuff, | 他开始炫耀 骑来骑去之类的 |
| [11:58] | to put me in my place, | 还骑到我这边来了 |
| [12:00] | But then he flipped up over the handlebars | 但紧接着他就从车把手滑落下来 |
| [12:03] | and came down hard on his face. | 然后他的脸重重地摔在地上 |
| [12:06] | Sad, | 真可怜 |
| [12:07] | but not worth me having baklava pits. | 但这理由不足以让我为流汗流成狗 |
| [12:11] | Well, wait. | 别急 |
| [12:12] | After I stopped laughing | 然后我就不再嘲笑他了 |
| [12:14] | and the man picked him up and hugged him predator-style, | 那个男人扶起他 并用食肉动物的方式抱了他 |
| [12:18] | I saw Tommy’s teeth had busted through his cheek. | 我看见Tommy的牙齿已经撞破了他的脸 |
| [12:22] | To put it plainly, | 说白了 |
| [12:24] | his mouth was on the outside of his face. | 他的嘴被撞歪到脸的外侧 |
| [12:28] | Ew, that’s like something out of a horror movie, | 感觉像是恐怖片里的剧情 |
| [12:31] | Like bike of The Living Dead or Texas Bike Chain Massacre | 比如”活死人的自行车”或者是”德州自行车连环大屠杀” |
| [12:35] | or… well, that’s probably enough. | 又或者是… 好吧 够了 |
| [12:38] | Every time I see a bike, I think of his little face | 我每次看见单车 都会想起他的小脸 |
| [12:41] | and his little teeth chomping out the side of it. | 还有他那吞掉半边脸的牙齿 |
| [12:45] | He had to eat apples like this… | 他只能这么吃苹果… |
| [12:49] | Max, you are not responsible for that. | Max 那不是你的错 |
| [12:52] | Yeah, I know, | 是 我知道 |
| [12:54] | and 1 out of the 12 jurors agreed. | 12人陪审团里有1人是这么认为的 |
| [12:57] | Thank you, number six. | 谢谢你 六号陪审员 |
| [13:00] | Anyway, it freaked me out, so good night. | 总之 我被吓坏了 所以晚安 |
| [13:04] | No, Max. | 不行 Max |
| [13:05] | It is not going to work that way. | 不应该是这样的 |
| [13:07] | You’re learning how to ride a bike. | 你要学会怎么骑自行车 |
| [13:08] | I’m already on one painful cycle. | 我已经处于痛苦的人生年轮上 |
| [13:10] | I don’t want to get on another one. | 我不想再坐到另一种轮子上了 |
| [13:12] | Max, I have access to Tootsie Rolls, | Max 我有很多软巧克力糖 |
| [13:15] | and if you get on a bike, I will give you four. | 如果你坐上自行车 我给你四个 |
| [13:17] | What am I, a chimp? | 当我是啥 黑猩猩吗? |
| [13:19] | – Five. – Let’s go. | – 五个 – 走吧 |
| [13:27] | Don’t look so smug, chestnut. | 别一副得意的样子 小栗子 |
| [13:29] | You don’t know how to ride a bike either. | 你也不会骑自行车 |
| [13:31] | Come on, Max, just out here in the alley. | 来吧 Max 就在这个小巷子学吧 |
| [13:33] | Oh, hell no! | 哦 不是吧! |
| [13:37] | – What? – She’s been back here too. | – 什么? – 她也回到这里了 |
| [13:39] | – Who? – Guine-queer. | – 谁? – 编织怪人 |
| [13:41] | There’s so much yarn-bombing, it’s like craft-ganistan. | 太多毛线轰炸了 就像是手工恐怖主义 |
| [13:45] | Max, let it go. | Max 别管它 |
| [13:47] | Stay focused. | 回到正题 |
| [13:48] | Get on the bike. | 上车 |
| [13:49] | No. | 不 |
| [13:51] | I don’t want to eat apples | 我不想用我的侧脸 |
| [13:52] | out of the side of my face. | 去吃苹果 |
| [13:54] | Come on. Let me teach you. | 别这样 让我教你 |
| [13:57] | – Nope. – Want a tootsie? | – 不 – 要软巧克力糖吗? |
| [13:58] | You know I do. | 你知道我要的 |
| [14:00] | I mean, you taught me how to be poor. | 我想说 你教会了我怎么做个穷人 |
| [14:02] | Eh, you’re getting really good at it. | 你现在真的很擅长了 |
| [14:05] | Come on. | 来嘛 |
| [14:06] | You know what they say about riding a bike. | 骑自行车就这么回事 |
| [14:07] | It’s like riding a bike. See? | 就跟骑自行车似的 看到没? |
| [14:10] | It’s fun, see? Whee! | 很好玩的 对吧? 哟! |
| [14:12] | Whee, whee, whee, whee, whee! Whee! | 哟 哟 哟! 哟! |
| [14:15] | You got a real pretty mouth, Caroline. | 你的嘴长得可真好看 Caroline |
| [14:16] | Can’t wait to see it on the side of your face. | 真想看到你的嘴撞歪到侧脸去 |
| [14:19] | At least just get on the bike. | 你至少要先坐到自行车上啊 |
| [14:21] | You don’t even have to go anywhere yet. | 你甚至不用到处动 |
| [14:23] | – Nope. – Want a tootsie? | – 没门 – 想吃软巧克力糖吗? |
| [14:24] | You know I do. | 明知故问 |
| [14:25] | Go. | 上 |
| [14:28] | What is this bar doing here? | 这横梁是干嘛使得? |
| [14:30] | I have no use for a bar that can’t get me drunk. | 不能让我喝醉的东西不顶用啊 |
| [14:33] | Okay, walk the bike over there | 好了 把自行车推到这边来 |
| [14:34] | and lean against the car to get your balance. | 然后靠着车保持平衡 |
| [14:37] | Just check and make sure there’s no one around. | 四处看看确保周围没人 |
| [14:39] | Why do you care? | 你担心什么? |
| [14:40] | The only people out here this late | 这么晚还在外面的 |
| [14:41] | would be rapists, murderers, and freaks… | 只有强奸犯 杀人犯 变态… |
| [14:43] | You know, your peeps. | 反正是你的同伴们 |
| [14:47] | What the… | 我勒个… |
| [14:48] | Hey, girls. | 嘿 两位 |
| [14:51] | Sophie? | Sophie啊? |
| [14:52] | What are you doing in that car alone? | 你一个人在车里干嘛? |
| [14:57] | Oh, a dark alley at 3:00 a.m.? | 天啊 凌晨三点在黑巷子里? |
| [15:00] | Has money gotten that tight? | 你们缺钱到这种地步了啊? |
| [15:03] | Yes, but that’s not why we’re out here. | 是的 但这不是我们出来的原因 |
| [15:05] | I’m teaching Max how to ride a bike, | 我在教Max怎么骑自行车 |
| [15:07] | and it’s pretty hard. | 真是相当困难 |
| [15:08] | Oh, yeah, I wish I had that problem. | 唉 我倒希望自己能碰上硬的 |
| [15:10] | I’m dancing with a rope in here. | 我这里软的跟跳绳似的 |
| [15:13] | We’re trying some exotic, new locales | 我们尝试着在一些有异域风情的 |
| [15:15] | for our lovemaking. | 新地方做爱 |
| [15:17] | It’s exotic because this isn’t even our car. | 说它异域 是因为这不是我们的车 |
| [15:20] | Oh, uh… | 呃… |
| [15:22] | We better hurry before that rabbi comes back. | 我们最好在那个教士回来前抓紧时间 |
| [15:25] | Maybe try barking at it again. | 或许可以再试试对它叫两声 |
| [15:27] | There was some movement earlier. | 之前有人叫得时候有点动静 |
| [15:31] | Come on, Caroline, teach me how to ride this thing. | 快点 Caroline 教我怎么骑这玩意儿 |
| [15:33] | I got to get away from temple gross shalom | 我要尽快远离这座 |
| [15:36] | as fast as possible. | 淫秽庙 |
| [15:38] | Okay, I’m gonna get behind you | 好的 我就在你后面 |
| [15:39] | and hold on to your seat. | 扶着座位 |
| [15:41] | Not without three Long Island iced teas | 想在我后面得给我三杯长岛冰茶 |
| [15:42] | and one, “your butt looks good in those jeans.” | 并且说句”这牛仔裤显得你屁股很翘” |
| [15:45] | – Tootsie? – Yeah. | – 软巧克力糖? – 好的 |
| [15:48] | Max, don’t look. | Max 别回头 |
| [15:49] | Yarn-bombing? | 是针织女吗? |
| [15:51] | Hey, Max. | 你好 Max |
| [15:52] | Han? | 天啊 Han? |
| [15:53] | I’m just riding my bike to the bike store | 我正要骑着自行车去自行车店 |
| [15:55] | to buy more bikes. | 再买几辆自行车 |
| [15:57] | Is that Han or | 那是Han还是 |
| [15:59] | Lance Armstrong’s runaway testicle? | 兰斯・阿姆斯特朗切掉的睾丸? |
| [16:01] | Sorry, couldn’t hear you. | 抱歉 听不到 |
| [16:02] | I was too busy knowing how to ride a bike. | 我忙着掌握怎么骑自行车呢 |
| [16:05] | Damn it! Now I got to do this. | 该死的! 我现在必须学会了 |
| [16:08] | You know how quickly society will crumble around us | 要是连Han都觉得能随意嘲笑我 |
| [16:11] | if Han starts feeling like he can freely tease me? | 这社会还得把我们挤榨成什么样啊 |
| [16:15] | – You sure? – Yep. | – 你确定? – 当然 |
| [16:16] | Making fun of han | 取笑Han |
| [16:18] | is one of my two free sources of entertainment. | 是我的两个免费娱乐资源之一 |
| [16:20] | The other one is located right above this bar. | 另一个就是架这横梁上的这宝贝了 |
| [16:22] | Okay, I’ll keep my hand on the seat, | 好的 我会一直扶着后座 |
| [16:24] | and then when you’re ready, tell me, and I’ll let you go. | 然后等你准备好了 告诉我 我就放手 |
| [16:27] | Okay, but don’t let go until I say so. | 好的 但我开口之前不许松手 |
| [16:30] | Okay, let go. | 好了 放手 |
| [16:31] | Already did. | 已经放了 |
| [16:32] | I’m riding a bike? | 我在骑自行车了? |
| [16:34] | Max, look out! Pothole! | Max 小心! 有坑! |
| [16:41] | There goes my other free source of entertainment. | 这下连我的免费娱乐资源也没有了 |
| [16:44] | Tootsie? | 吃糖吗? |
| [16:45] | Yes, obviously! | 那还用说! |
| [16:57] | Table ten. Pick up, Max. | 十号桌 Max 端菜 |
| [17:01] | Yeah, be right there. | 好的 马上到 |
| [17:03] | Like, you know, in a month. | 等一个月吧 |
| [17:06] | Uh, Max, how you doing? | Max 你怎么样了 |
| [17:08] | I heard about your vag-accident. | 听说你出了”阴道事故” |
| [17:12] | Look, if you need to see a doctor, | 听着 如果你需要看医生 |
| [17:14] | My cousin in florida is a good one, | 我在佛罗里达的表弟还不错 |
| [17:17] | But then again, the bumpy bus ride might kill you. | 但是那条路颠簸得坐车会坐死你 |
| [17:21] | No, no, it’ll be fine, Earl. | 不 不用了 我没事 Earl |
| [17:23] | I’m icing it. I just have to keep it cold. | 我在用冰敷 得让它保持凉爽 |
| [17:32] | We’re out of ginger ale. | 我们的姜汁饮料喝完了 |
| [17:35] | I think you mean the ginger ale is out of you. | 你指的应该是姜汁饮料从你身上掉了下来 |
| [17:40] | Max, let me get that for you. | Max 我来帮你收拾吧 |
| [17:42] | I feel like it was kind of my fault. | 我感觉我也该负一点儿责任 |
| [17:44] | Kind of? | 一点儿? |
| [17:45] | Was Lincoln’s death | 难道约翰・沃克斯・布斯 |
| [17:46] | kind of John Wilkes Booth’s fault? | 也只为刺杀林肯总统的负一点责任吗? |
| [17:48] | Pick up, Caroline. | Caroline 上菜 |
| [17:50] | How’d it go with Sophie? | 你和Sophie之间进展如何? |
| [17:52] | Were you able to do the thing, you know, the man does | 你能做那事儿了吗 就是男人干得卖力 |
| [17:54] | while the woman makes shopping lists in her head? | 女人却满脑子想着购物的那事儿 |
| [17:57] | Shh. Come on. | 嘘 小点儿声 |
| [17:58] | I don’t want anyone to know I can’t get it up. | 我不想让人家知道我硬不起来 |
| [18:01] | Oleg can’t get it up? | Oleg硬不起来? |
| [18:06] | OMG. Oleg can’t get it up. | 天啊 Oleg硬不起来 |
| [18:10] | Best week ever. | 史上最开心的一周 |
| [18:11] | Hey, everybody! | 嘿 姐儿来了! |
| [18:15] | What’s up? | 都在干啥? |
| [18:17] | Not your boyfriend. | 反正你男朋友没法干了 |
| [18:21] | If anyone needs me, | 要是有人找我 |
| [18:23] | I’ll be outside riding my bike | 我就在外面一边骑自行车 |
| [18:24] | with an erection. | 一边勃起 |
| [18:28] | Oh, no, no, no, no. He didn’t hear it from me. | 噢 不 不 不 不 不是我告诉他的 |
| [18:30] | I only told two people… | 我只跟两个人说了… |
| [18:32] | Max and my manicurist, Ming Wa. | Max和我的美甲师 Ming Wa |
| [18:35] | And you don’t have to worry about her | 而且你不用担心她 |
| [18:37] | because she doesn’t care about anything | 因为她除了对持久的男人感兴趣 |
| [18:39] | except loving some guy named “long time”. | 其他事情都不关心 |
| [18:45] | Sophie, baby, | Sophie 亲爱的 |
| [18:47] | This is hard. | 这太难了 |
| [18:49] | Yeah, maybe we better not try to be serious. | 是啊 也许我们最好别玩真感情 |
| [18:52] | I mean, the real truth is, | 我是指 事实上 |
| [18:54] | I only like you for your penis anyway. | 我只喜欢你的小鸡鸡 |
| [18:57] | Say that again. | 再说一遍 |
| [19:00] | What, that I only like you for your penis? | 说什么 我只喜欢你的小鸡鸡吗? |
| [19:03] | One more time. | 再说一次 |
| [19:05] | Well, what, that I don’t have any real feelings for you? | 说我对你没有真感情? |
| [19:08] | That it’s completely sexual | 我们之前是纯炮友 |
| [19:10] | and I only like you for your big, stupid penis? | 我只喜欢你那会傻干的大鸡鸡 |
| [19:14] | I’m back, baby. | 我重振雄风了 宝贝 |
| [19:16] | Sophie, can I see you in the kitchen? | Sophie 咱们到厨房去好吗? |
| [19:18] | And we better hurry. I’m making three-minute eggs. | 我们最好快点儿 厨房里还做着嫩煮鸡蛋呢 |
| [19:22] | Cancel my eggs. | 鸡蛋不要了 |
| [19:26] | I would’ve so left during that whole conversation, | 如果不是老娘两腿之间夹着一罐胡椒博士饮料 |
| [19:30] | but I’m holding a can of Dr. Pepper between my legs. | 我早就不想听他们的谈话了 |
| [19:34] | What? He’s a doctor. He’s seen it. | 咋了 胡椒博士懂治病啊 他都看过了 |
| [19:37] | Well, I think we’re pretty much even. | 我觉得这下我们扯平了 |
| [19:39] | Your legs are a little sore, and I’ll never have children. | 你的腿有些酸 而我将不能生娃了 |
| [19:42] | So I guess what I’m saying is thanks. | 所以我的意思是谢谢你 |
| [19:46] | So you really don’t want to get back on the bike? | 你真的不想再骑自行车了吗? |
| [19:50] | You’re just gonna give up? | 你就这样放弃了? |
| [19:51] | I bet even Tommy Doonan got back on the bike. | 我跟你打赌Tommy Doonan都敢再骑自行车 |
| [19:54] | Whatever happened to him. | 无论发生了什么 |
| [19:55] | I caught up with him on facebook. | 我在脸谱网上看见了他 |
| [19:57] | Well, more like really-messed-up-face-book. | 或者 或者叫毁容网更适合 |
| [20:00] | He’s happily married. | 他都结婚了 也很幸福 |
| [20:02] | I bet right now he’s driving his car, | 我猜他现在正在开着车 |
| [20:04] | looking straight ahead, and smiling at his wife | 目视前方 然后用他的腮帮子 |
| [20:06] | in the seat next to him. | 对着他坐在旁边的妻子微笑呢 |
| [20:10] | So that’s it for deliveries? | 所以我们就不搞外卖了? |
| [20:12] | Oh, you can deliver wherever and whenever you want, | 你想送哪 啥时候送 都没问题 |
| [20:15] | but there is no way I am ever getting on that bike again. | 但我绝对不会再骑那辆自行车了 |
| [20:20] | Max, look. Guinevere. | Max 快看 那是格尼薇儿 |
| [20:23] | Oh, hell no! | 哎呀 我勒个去! |
| [20:25] | She yarn-bombed our darn barn! | 她在我们后庭上织满了毛线! |
| [20:28] | You two should’ve tipped. | 谁让你们两个不给小费的 |
| [20:30] | I’m an artist. | 我是个艺术家 |
| [20:33] | Eat my stitches, bitches. | 菊花残了吧 小婊砸们 |
| [20:37] | That was not whimsical at all. | 还能不能再变态点儿 |
| [20:39] | Give me the damn bike. | 把自行车给我 |
| [20:40] | Knit’s about to hit the fan. | 用毛线撞死这脑残粉 |
| [20:47] | Max, you’re doing it. | Max 你在骑自行车 |
| [20:48] | What happened to your fear of bikes? | 难道你不害怕骑自行车了吗 |
| [20:51] | I guess the only thing stronger is my hatred of that nerd! | 也许是因为我对这脑残的憎恶战胜了恐怖! |