| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | I called this staff meeting because lately, | 我开这个员工会议是因为 |
| [00:04] | I’ve noticed our diner family is drifting apart. | 餐厅小家庭成员最近渐行渐远 |
| [00:07] | Good work, everybody. Good work. | 干得好 各位 继续努力 |
| [00:10] | Let’s start off this powwow | 今日的会议就从 |
| [00:12] | by sharing our highs and lows of the week. | 互相分享每个人本周的最高与最低点吧 |
| [00:14] | My high was getting a particularly interesting Snapple fact. | 我的最高点是学到了一个很有趣的冷知识 |
| [00:14] | 美国饮料公司斯奈普出产饮料的瓶盖上 都印有各式各样的冷知识 | |
| [00:19] | And my low was– | 而我的最低点是… |
| [00:20] | Your entire body? | 你全身的高度吗 |
| [00:23] | I’ll go. | 我来分享 |
| [00:24] | My high was finding a barrette in the bathroom, | 我的最高点是在厕所里捡到了一个发夹 |
| [00:26] | and my low was imagining my new life without it. | 而最低点是想象新人生中没有它 |
| [00:31] | Max, your high? | 麦克斯 你的最高点呢 |
| [00:32] | I certainly am. | 我正高[嗨]着呢 |
| [00:34] | And my low will be when it wears off. | 而最低点则是在药效过了的那一刻 |
| [00:37] | Well, my high was catching a glimpse | 我的最高点是瞄到一眼 |
| [00:40] | of a customer’s lacy g-string, | 顾客的蕾丝丁字裤 |
| [00:42] | And my low was seeing his junk. | 而最低点是我看到他鸡鸡的时刻 |
| [00:45] | My low is this meeting. | 我的最低点就是参加这会议 |
| [00:49] | And my high is when it wraps up. | 而最高点就是会议结束的那一刻 |
| [00:52] | Can everybody take this serious– | 还能不能认真地开会啦 |
| [00:56] | I have a new low. | 我有个新低点了 |
| [00:59] | – I have a new high. – Me too. | -我也有个新高点了 -我也是 |
| [01:02] | Everybody, please. | 大家别这样好吗 |
| [01:04] | Han just clearly injured his vagina. | 人家阿憨明显是伤到”小洞洞”了 |
| [01:10] | 打工 | |
| [01:10] | 打工 | |
| [01:14] | ⊙﹃⊙口水小灰菇 | |
| [01:14] | ⊙﹃⊙口水小灰菇 | |
| [01:33] | That’s not my phone. | 不是我的电话响 |
| [01:34] | My ringtone is Let it go, and you know that | 你知道我的铃声是《冰雪奇缘》”随它吧” |
| [01:36] | ’cause you threaten to beat me every time it rings. | 因为每次响起来你都恐吓要揍我 |
| [01:39] | Well, it’s not mine. | 也不是我的 |
| [01:40] | I keep my phone on vibrate | 我的电话永远保持震动模式 |
| [01:41] | out of respect for those around me, | 一方面是尊重我周围的人 |
| [01:43] | and also for little orgasms. | 一方面也是给自己点小”高潮” |
| [01:47] | Max, it’s the landline. | 麦克斯 是座机 |
| [01:50] | Oh, God! Why is it ringing? | 天啊 它为什么在响 |
| [01:52] | You said that phone only rings if we’re in trouble | 你说过这电话只有在我们有麻烦时才会响 |
| [01:53] | or if it’s you calling from the future | 或者是未来的你打电话来 |
| [01:55] | to tell us we’re in trouble. | 通知我们有麻烦了 |
| [02:02] | Ruh-roh. | 惨喽 |
| [02:03] | That’s gotta be the landlord. The lease is up. | 肯定是房东 租约要到期了 |
| [02:06] | Fine, we’ll just renew it, even though I thought | 好吧 那就续约吧 虽然我以为 |
| [02:08] | they would have condemned this place by now. | 他们早该报废这栋楼了 |
| [02:10] | I mean, I did find a used condom in the hallway yesterday. | 毕竟我昨天还在走廊看到”报废”的套套呢 |
| [02:13] | – Hello? – No! | -您好 -不行 |
| [02:15] | Hang up. We’re not on the lease. | 快挂掉 我们俩没在租约上 |
| [02:17] | 抱歉 现在不方便说话 ごめんなさい 今ちょっと話せないの | |
| [02:22] | Good cover. Now we just have to hope | 编的不错 现在我们就祈祷 |
| [02:23] | the original tenant is a Benihana chef. | 原来的租客是个日式铁板烧厨师吧 |
| [02:26] | Okay. | 好 |
| [02:27] | We don’t have much time. Quick! | 我们时间不多 快点 |
| [02:29] | Grab two things you love. | 选两样你爱的东西 拿上跑 |
| [02:37] | I-I love nothing in here! | 这里没有我爱的东西 |
| [02:40] | And why are we even trying to keep an apartment | 而且为毛我们要试着留住 |
| [02:43] | that has grass growing in the bathroom? | 一间浴室里长草的破公寓啊 |
| [02:46] | I love our toilet lawn. | 我爱我们的浴室草坪 |
| [02:49] | It’s gross. | 恶心死了 |
| [02:50] | Max, look at this place. | 麦克斯 看看这里 |
| [02:51] | Our refrigerator door is held on by scotch tape, | 我们冰箱的门是用透明胶带固定住的 |
| [02:54] | And, I mean, there is black mold in there. | 那里面还长黑霉了呢 |
| [02:56] | At least the black mold made the other mold | 但至少黑霉把其他种霉菌 |
| [02:58] | move out of the neighborhood. | 都赶出这一带了呢 |
| [03:00] | Come on! | 乖嘛 |
| [03:01] | Someone from the real estate company | 不动产公司估计已经派人来 |
| [03:03] | is probably on their way over to make sure | 检查一下租下这间屋的租客 |
| [03:04] | the original tenant still lives here. | 是不是还住在这里 |
| [03:08] | All right, let’s ride! | 好了 开溜吧 |
| [03:10] | I know a guy that can drop off some fake passports | 我认识一个人 可以把做好的假护照 |
| [03:12] | for us in an airport locker. | 放在机场的置物箱里给我们 |
| [03:14] | Well, you know him too. It’s Oleg. | 那个人你也认识 就是奥列格 |
| [03:17] | Pick up that phone already! | 行行好 接起电话吧 |
| [03:20] | Sounds like a damn PBS fund-raiser down here. | 听起来像PBS台募款活动的捐款来电呢 |
| [03:24] | Sophie, it’s the landlord calling. | 苏菲 是房东打来 |
| [03:26] | I just found out we’ve been subletting illegally. | 我才发现原来这里是非法转租来的 |
| [03:28] | Oh, well, I always wondered how you girls | 我早就好奇你俩 |
| [03:30] | could afford to live in this building. | 是怎么付得起这里的房租 |
| [03:32] | And I ruled out prostitution once I saw Caroline dance. | 但在看过卡洛琳的舞技后 我确定了不是做鸡 |
| [03:42] | Good news. | 有好消息 |
| [03:43] | I dug around the apartment | 我在公寓里四处翻翻后 |
| [03:44] | And I found the original lease. | 我找到了原来的租约 |
| [03:46] | Also found a copy of my birth certificate. | 还找到了我出生证明的副本 |
| [03:48] | Turns out my father’s name is “Mother has no idea” | 原来我老爸的名字是”老妈不知道” |
| [03:53] | Forget that lease. | 不用管那租约了 |
| [03:54] | I’ve already found a new place for us. | 我已经为我们找到新家了 |
| [03:56] | A two-bedroom for $1,300 in Manhattan. | 曼哈顿 两间卧室 只要一千三 |
| [04:00] | Oh… Manhattan, Kansas. | 慢着 是堪萨斯州的曼哈顿 |
| [04:04] | We can’t afford to lose this lease. | 这租约一定得保住 |
| [04:06] | As soon as they find out this Lester Donovan | 只要他们发现莱斯特·唐纳文 |
| [04:08] | is no longer living there, the rent will get higher | 已经不住在这里 租金就会涨 |
| [04:10] | than Justin Bieber on a plane with his dad. | 涨到像比伯跟他老爸在飞机上一样嗨[高] |
| [04:10] | 有消息指出歌星贾斯丁·比伯与他父亲 拒绝依照机长指示 停止在飞机上抽大麻 | |
| [04:17] | So I tracked down this original tenant guy, Lester. | 所以我找到了这个原租客 莱斯特 |
| [04:19] | He’s still alive. | 他还活着 |
| [04:20] | Ugh! Can’t catch a break. | 真是没完没了啊 |
| [04:23] | He’s at a rest home in Sheepshead Bay. | 他住在布鲁克林区一家养老院里 |
| [04:25] | We just have to go there and kidnap him. | 我们只需要去把他绑架来就行了 |
| [04:28] | We’ll tie some cream of wheat to a pole and lure him out. | 把一碗老人小麦粥绑鱼竿上 再钓他出来 |
| [04:32] | First of all, in what world | 首先 在哪个平行时空里 |
| [04:34] | do we have cream of wheat pole money? | 咱俩有钱买老人小麦粥鱼竿 |
| [04:37] | And secondly, I am not gonna go shake down some old man. | 第二 我才不要去勒索一个老头子 |
| [04:40] | You won’t have to. | 才不需要自己动手 |
| [04:41] | He’s probably already shaking. | 那老头估计都自己在抖[勒索]了 |
| [04:45] | If you’re looking, I know a place. | 如果你们在找房 我知道一个地方 |
| [04:46] | You share a twin bed with two other girls. | 你们跟另外两个妞分享一张双人床 |
| [04:48] | Oh, and there are cameras. | 而且里面还有摄像机 |
| [04:50] | But you’re paid $4.99 a minute | 但你每分钟能赚到4块99 |
| [04:52] | and get to meet all the singles in your area. | 而且还有机会认识附近所有单身痴汉 |
| [04:55] | Are you one of the singles in the area? | 你也是”附近的单身痴汉”中的一员吗 |
| [04:58] | Technically I’d be your costar. | 正确来说 我是你的合演者 |
| [05:04] | Like it or not, we have to hold on to our apartment. | 无论你喜不喜欢 我们的公寓都得保住 |
| [05:07] | Max is right–there are two things in life you cannot lose. | 麦克斯说得对 世上有两样东西不能失去 |
| [05:10] | A rent-controlled apartment and bladder control. | 受租金管制的公寓 与自己的膀胱控制力 |
| [05:16] | Actually, there’s an apartment in my building | 其实我大楼里有一间公寓 |
| [05:18] | that just became available. | 整好要出租呢 |
| [05:19] | Stop by tomorrow. You can see it. | 明天有空来看看 |
| [05:26] | This place is $1,200? | 这里要一千二啊 |
| [05:28] | $1,250. It just went up since we been talking. | 一千二百五 就在我们说话时又涨价了 |
| [05:32] | We can’t fit in here. | 这里对我们来说太挤了 |
| [05:34] | I’m not talking about me and you. | “我们”指的不是我和你 |
| [05:35] | I’m talking about me and my boobs. | 是我和我的巨乳 |
| [05:44] | Nice retirement home. | 挺不错的养老院啊 |
| [05:46] | Why don’t we just live here? | 我们为何不就住这里呢 |
| [05:48] | Bingo tournaments, unlimited hard candy, | 宾果游戏大赛 无限量的硬糖果 |
| [05:51] | and you get to crap your pants! | 而且想在裤子里拉屎就拉屎 |
| [05:56] | Lester? | 莱斯特 |
| [05:58] | That must be him. | 这估计就是他了 |
| [05:59] | I don’t know who I am anymore, but that must be him. | 我已不知道我是谁 但那肯定是他 |
| [06:03] | Hi, Mr. Donovan. | 你好 唐纳文先生 |
| [06:05] | Lester? | 莱斯特 |
| [06:07] | Max, is he dead? | 麦克斯 他是不是死了 |
| [06:08] | No, he’s alive, but just… | 还活着 但也就剩一口气了 |
| [06:11] | This is so sad. | 太可怜了 |
| [06:13] | Look at how we treat our elderly. | 看看老年人都是怎么被对待的 |
| [06:16] | Wake up! | 快醒来 |
| [06:18] | I-I-I need you to wake up for this! | 我需要你醒过来 |
| [06:22] | We are currently subletting your old apartment, | 我们是你以前公寓的转租客 |
| [06:25] | and we need you to pretend | 我们需要你回去假装 |
| [06:26] | tou still live there for a day. | 你还住里面 一天就行 |
| [06:28] | Or just to pretend you still live. | 或者假装一下你还活着 |
| [06:32] | Ladies, you’re wasting your time. | 姑娘们 你们是在浪费时间 |
| [06:34] | He can’t speak, and he doesn’t like girls. | 他不能说话 也不喜欢姑娘 |
| [06:36] | He’s a vegetable and a fruit. | 他是个植物人[蔬菜]加基佬[水果] |
| [06:40] | Lester Donovan. | 我是莱斯特·唐纳文 |
| [06:41] | Oh, you’re Lester! Oh, thank God. | 你才是莱斯特啊 谢天谢地 |
| [06:44] | Listen, Lester, we need you– | 莱斯特 我们需要你… |
| [06:45] | I know, I know. You want me to pretend | 我知道 你们想我回去假装 |
| [06:47] | I still live in your apartment. I overheard everything. | 还住在你们公寓里 我在外头都听到了 |
| [06:49] | We’re not all comatose, darling. | 亲爱的 我们不是每个人都在昏迷中 |
| [06:52] | But I’m afraid–ahem– it’s not gonna happen, girls. | 但很抱歉 姑娘们 我可能帮不上忙了 |
| [06:55] | ’cause I got a big week. | 我这周有大事要忙 |
| [06:57] | My special lady is moving in with me. | 我的心上人要搬来跟我同居了 |
| [07:00] | ‘Cause this guy’s not gonna be around much longer. | 因为这家伙活不了多久了 |
| [07:02] | 18 hours…tops! | 最多再活18小时 |
| [07:06] | Oh! Here’s my princess. | 我的公主来啦 |
| [07:09] | Olivia! | 奥利维亚 |
| [07:12] | He’s still with us. God bless. | 上帝保佑 他还活着 |
| [07:15] | So we’ll have to push the move to Monday. | 所以你的搬家大计得挪到周一了 |
| [07:17] | Yeah… about that, Lester. | 说到这件事 莱斯特 |
| [07:20] | I’m not ready to move in with you. | 我还没做好搬来同居的心理准备 |
| [07:22] | Olivia, wh–what do you mean? | 奥利维亚 你这话什么意思 |
| [07:25] | – Max, we should go. – No way! | -麦克斯 我们该走了 – 才不要 |
| [07:27] | This is like watching an elder version of The Bachelor! | 这就像在看老年人版的《单身汉》一样 |
| [07:27] | 美国电视真人秀 由一名单身男子从众多女参赛者中挑选伴侣 | |
| [07:31] | Literally… The final rose! | 现在基本就是最终环节了呢 |
| [07:35] | Lester, it’s not you. It’s me. | 莱斯特 问题不在你 在我 |
| [07:37] | That’s still in play at their age? | 他们这把年纪还用这招吗 |
| [07:39] | I’m just not ready to settle down. | 我还不想定下来 |
| [07:43] | Too many other fish in the sea. | 林中太多鸟 海中太多鱼 |
| [07:46] | I know–it’s about that new kid on the block, | 我知道了 是新搬进来的那小混球对吧 |
| [07:48] | Morty what’s-his-name. It’s about Morty, isn’t it? | 莫蒂 啥来着 是因为那个莫蒂对吧 |
| [07:51] | Lester, please. | 莱斯特 别这样 |
| [07:52] | I don’t want it to be weird | 我不想之后我们在 |
| [07:54] | when we see each other at bingo. | 宾果游戏见面时变得很尴尬 |
| [07:57] | You should know this about Morty– | 我告诉你 莫蒂这家伙 |
| [07:59] | he’s not a real man like me. | 不是我这样的真汉子 |
| [08:01] | His middle name is Viagra! | 他的中间名是伟哥好吗 |
| [08:05] | Olivia! | 奥利维亚 |
| [08:11] | Well, there’s no point hanging around here. | 现在也没必要留在这里了 |
| [08:13] | I’ll just grab my penis pump, and we’re outta here. | 我去拿上我的阴茎帮浦就能走了 |
| [08:13] | 筒状器具套住阴茎后抽气 使筒内形成真空状态 进而造成强行勃起 | |
| [08:18] | Why is he gonna need that? | 他为什么会需要用到那个 |
| [08:25] | Here we are, “home, sweet… | 到啦 “甜美温馨 |
| [08:26] | at least it’s not a rest home”” | 至少不是养老院的家里” |
| [08:29] | Lester, not that I minded pushing you 35 blocks, but… | 莱斯特 虽然我不介意推着你走了足足35条街 |
| [08:33] | you could walk at the home. | 但是你在养老院时还能走路 |
| [08:35] | why can’t you walk now? | 为什么现在不能走路了 |
| [08:37] | I’m too depressed to walk. | 内心苦闷走不了路 |
| [08:40] | I’ve been depressed since I learned to walk. | 我从学会走路时就一直苦闷 |
| [08:42] | I mean, I was nine. It was time. | 那时我九岁 也是时候了 |
| [08:44] | I have just lost the love of my life! | 我刚失去了我一生挚爱 |
| [08:47] | Have you ever made love to a lady with no teeth | 你跟没牙齿还装有人工屁股的妞 |
| [08:50] | and two plastic hips? | 做爱过吗 |
| [08:52] | I, for one, have not. | 小女子我就没试过 |
| [08:54] | Max? | 麦克斯呢 |
| [08:55] | No. But it just rocketed to number one on my bucket list. | 没 但这事直接登上了我死前愿望的第一名了 |
| [09:00] | I lived here from 1954 to studio 54. | 这里我从54年住到54俱乐部的时代[77年] |
| [09:04] | Liza Minnelli threw up in that corner. | 丽莎·明尼利曾在那角落呕吐 |
| [09:04] | 美国女演员与歌手 曾在54俱乐部表演过 | |
| [09:07] | The only time I ever saw anybody | 我的人生中唯一一次看到 |
| [09:08] | take three bows after a vomit. | 有人在呕吐后还三鞠躬谢幕的 |
| [09:12] | Why did you leave? | 那你为什么离开了 |
| [09:14] | You always think you’re gonna find something better. | 人总是觉得能找到更好的 |
| [09:16] | Yep. The toilet grass is always greener. | 浴室芳草绿 隔岸风景好 |
| [09:21] | Okay. That’s the building rep, Lester. | 大楼物业代表来了 莱斯特 |
| [09:23] | Do we need to go over our cover story again? | 需要再复习一下假的背景故事吗 |
| [09:25] | It’s pretty easy. | 很简单的 |
| [09:27] | I’m Carlotta Spaghetta… | 我是卡洛塔·伊搭丽面 |
| [09:29] | Mild-mannered pet trainer by day, | 白天是个温柔的宠物训练师 |
| [09:32] | hot-tempered Nigerian spy by night. | 晚上是脾气火爆的尼日利亚间谍 |
| [09:34] | Lester, only listen to me. | 莱斯特 听我的就好 |
| [09:37] | Max is your granddaughter, | 麦克斯是你的孙女 |
| [09:38] | and I’m her sober companion– | 而我是她的戒酒陪护员 |
| [09:40] | which is the only part of our story that’s true. | 整段故事中只有这是真的 |
| [09:44] | It’s him–now, just sit and smile and nod. | 他来了 你就坐着 微笑 点头即可 |
| [09:47] | I’ll nod, but I’m not gonna smile. | 我可以点头 但我才不微笑 |
| [09:52] | Welcome to my grandfather’s | 欢迎来到我爷爷 |
| [09:54] | happy, happy home. There’s his couch. | 欢乐幸福的家 那是他的沙发 |
| [09:56] | There’s his kitchen. | 那是他的厨房 |
| [09:57] | What’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [09:58] | There’s his bong. | 那是他的大麻烟斗 |
| [10:01] | His bong. | 他抽大麻吗 |
| [10:03] | – Glaucoma. – Chemo. | -青光眼缓解 -化疗止痛 |
| [10:05] | Well, good afternoon. | 好吧 下午好 |
| [10:06] | I’m Roger from building management. | 我是大楼管理派来的 我叫罗杰 |
| [10:08] | I’m here to verify this lease, | 我是来核实租约的 |
| [10:09] | and I’d like to do it | 我想要在 |
| [10:10] | before the rest of this doorway caves in. | 这走廊坍塌前就搞定这件事 |
| [10:13] | And of course you know my dear, | 想必你肯定认识我 |
| [10:15] | dear grandfather Lester. | 最最亲爱的爷爷莱斯特 |
| [10:17] | I just have a few questions, Mr. Donovan. | 我就循例问几个问题 唐纳文先生 |
| [10:19] | Have you ever made love to a woman with a silicone hip? | 你有没有试过跟硅胶屁屁的女人做爱 |
| [10:24] | It’s amazing! | 超爽的哦 |
| [10:26] | Okay! I can cross that one off my list. | 好的 我可以把这条从我清单上划掉了 |
| [10:30] | Hey, girls. | 姑娘们 |
| [10:31] | I came through the back | 我之所以从后门进来 |
| [10:33] | ’cause this junkie’s on the front stoop, | 是因为那个瘾君子在前门台阶那 |
| [10:35] | and it’s still a little awkward between us. | 而且我们之间还有点小尴尬 |
| [10:40] | Oh, uh, this is Sophie. She lives upstairs. | 这位是苏菲 她住在楼上 |
| [10:43] | As you can see, Roger, no problems. | 你也看到了 罗杰 没有任何问题 |
| [10:45] | Everything’s totally legit. | 一切完全合法 |
| [10:47] | Hey, who’s the old guy? | 这老头是谁 |
| [10:51] | She lives upstairs, and she doesn’t know Lester? | 她住在楼上 而她居然不认识莱斯特 |
| [10:54] | She knows him–this is just a sexual game they play | 当然认识 这只是他们常玩的一个性爱游戏 |
| [10:58] | called “Who are you?” | 名叫”你是谁” |
| [11:00] | That doesn’t sound like a sexual game. | 那语气听起来可不像在玩性游戏 |
| [11:03] | It is when she’s saying it to his penis. | 等她冲着他的鸡鸡问时就像了 |
| [11:08] | Sophie, this is the guy from the agency | 苏菲 这是房地产公司的人 |
| [11:10] | who just came by to verify | 他是过来核实 |
| [11:12] | that Lester actually lives here. | 莱斯特是否真的住在这里 |
| [11:15] | Oh, yeah! | 当然 |
| [11:16] | He lives here every day! | 他每天都住在这里 |
| [11:19] | Yeah, and we play that game forever. | 而且我们一直在玩这游戏 |
| [11:22] | Who are you? | 你是谁呀 |
| [11:26] | Come closer. He can’t hear you. | 靠近点 他听不见 |
| [11:29] | I’m feeling better already. | 我已经感觉好多了 |
| [11:31] | So the main takeaway here | 所以主要的信息就是 |
| [11:33] | is that they both live in the building legally. | 他们是这栋楼的合法居民 |
| [11:35] | Now, let’s just sign that lease. | 赶紧签租约吧 |
| [11:37] | Mr. Donovan, I just need your signature here, | 唐纳文先生 麻烦您在这里签字 |
| [11:38] | and this’ll lock you into the lease for another four years. | 这份房租的合约期是四年 |
| [11:41] | What’s your hip situation? | 你的屁屁状况如何 |
| [11:43] | Oh, I’m as hip as they come, baby! Yeah! | 纯天然不加料 宝贝 |
| [11:47] | Now, that’s a looker! | 真是个美人呀 |
| [11:50] | – Here ya go. – Yep! All done. | -签好了 -手续办好了 |
| [11:52] | You have the apartment for another four years. | 你还可以在这里多住四年 |
| [11:55] | Enjoy it? | 好好享用 |
| [11:58] | Oh, and I’m required to say: Traces of cancerous stuff | 按要求我得告知你们 这里有些公寓 |
| [12:01] | have been found in some of the apartments. | 被发现有致癌物 |
| [12:02] | Have a nice day! | 祝你们愉快 |
| [12:08] | Four more years! Four more years! | 再住四年 再住四年 |
| [12:10] | We get to stay in the place | 我们还能继续住在这里 |
| [12:11] | I never thought I’d want to stay in. | 一个我从不认为我会想住的地方 |
| [12:13] | Oh, Lester, you’re up. Feeling better? | 莱斯特 你起来啦 感觉好点了吗 |
| [12:15] | Like a million bucks. | 感觉棒极了 |
| [12:17] | I feel like my old self again. | 仿佛我又变回原来的自己 |
| [12:19] | Oh, hey, it’s been 18 hours. | 已经过了18小时了 |
| [12:21] | Let’s go see if your friend’s dead. | 我们快回去看看你室友死了没 |
| [12:24] | Yeah, Lester. Let’s get ya home. | 对 莱斯特 我们送你回家吧 |
| [12:25] | What are you talking about? I am home. | 你们瞎说什么 我现在就在家 |
| [12:28] | What do you mean? This is our place. | 你在瞎说什么 这是我们的家 |
| [12:30] | Not according to that lease I just signed. | 刚才我签的那份租约可不是这么说的哦 |
| [12:34] | I’ll be in my bedroom. | 我要回我的房间了 |
| [12:38] | Good to be home! | 回家的感觉真好 |
| [12:41] | – Ruh-roh… – Ruh-roh. | -惨喽 -惨喽 |
| [12:51] | Ladies, this is delicious! | 姑娘们 这太好吃了 |
| [12:53] | You know, at the home they keep salt on lockdown. | 在养老院 他们都把盐锁起来了 |
| [12:56] | Salt and the dementia patients. | 同被锁的还有痴呆病人 |
| [13:01] | Well, it doesn’t look like bad grandpa’s leaving tonight. | 看来这贼老头今晚是不会走了 |
| [13:05] | Maybe I can help. | 或许我可以帮忙 |
| [13:07] | I can put some ground glass in his salisbury steak. | 我可以在他牛肉饼里放点毛玻璃 |
| [13:10] | It’s called a Ukrainian divorce. | 这称为乌克兰式离婚 |
| [13:14] | Eh…I’ll try this jell-o first. | 我还是先试试果冻好了 |
| [13:17] | Yeah, it’s so old, it might kill him. | 是啊 过期了那么久 没准能毒死他 |
| [13:20] | Lester, I brought you some jell-o. | 莱斯特 请你吃果冻啊 |
| [13:22] | – Would you like some? – That’s very nice of you, | -想吃吗 -你真好 |
| [13:24] | but I’m not going anywhere. | 但我是不会走的 |
| [13:26] | Lester, really, you don’t want to live with us. | 莱斯特 说真的 你不会想跟我们住的 |
| [13:30] | Caroline sings so much | 卡洛琳经常唱歌 |
| [13:31] | she should have animated birds on her. | 她身边应该有一只卡通鸟 |
| [13:34] | Look, there’s no way I’m going back to that retirement home. | 听着 我是绝对不会回养老院的 |
| [13:38] | I feel alive for the first time since… | 这是去年我曾短暂挂掉后 |
| [13:41] | since I died briefly last year. | 头一次觉得自己还活着 |
| [13:45] | Oh, my God, really? | 天啊 真的吗 |
| [13:47] | Yes, some nurse tripped over the power cord. | 是的 某个护士把电线碰掉了 |
| [13:50] | A-and besides, it’s really helping me get over Olivia. | 再说了 在这里能帮我忘记奥利维亚 |
| [13:54] | I’m finally realizing there are plenty of other fish in the sea. | 我也终于意识到 大海里多的是其他的”鱼” |
| [13:57] | Hey, everybody! | 各位安安 |
| [14:02] | And there’s one of ’em. | 她就是其中一条大鱼 |
| [14:05] | She puts the “ass” in “bass.” | 鲈鱼中的翘臀鱼 |
| [14:08] | Friend, I’ll be in my booth. | 朋友 我去我的卡座啦 |
| [14:11] | Hey, Sophie. You remember Lester. | 苏菲 你还记得莱斯特吧 |
| [14:14] | Lester, you remember when they discovered fire. | 莱斯特 你还记得火是什么时候发现的吧 |
| [14:18] | Please, please, join me. | 快请快请 坐我这 |
| [14:20] | May I buy you an egg cream? | 我能请你喝蛋蜜乳吗 |
| [14:22] | Oh, I do love an egg cream. | 我超爱喝”蛋”蜜乳的 |
| [14:25] | Oh, excuse me, I gotta go powder by nose. | 抱歉 我要去一下洗手间 |
| [14:29] | Girls… | 姑娘们 |
| [14:31] | Girls, I know you want your apartment back | 姑娘们 我知道你们想要回你们的公寓 |
| [14:33] | and I’m a reasonable man, | 我是一个讲理的人 |
| [14:35] | so all I want before I go is a little you-know-what. | 所以我离开的条件是 你们懂的 |
| [14:39] | More jell-o? | 更多果冻吗 |
| [14:41] | I’m talking about sex. Rebound sex! | 我说的是做爱 疗情伤性爱 |
| [14:45] | Rebound sex? | 疗情伤性爱吗 |
| [14:46] | Are you sure you’ll even be able to rebound from having sex? | 你确定你做完爱后 你还能直起身[疗伤]来吗 |
| [14:51] | Are you kidding? | 开什么玩笑 |
| [14:52] | There’s nothing but sex at that retirement home. | 养老院里除了做爱就没别的 |
| [14:55] | Why do you think I put myself there? | 不然你以为我干嘛要进去 |
| [14:58] | It’s wall-to-wall whoopee, | 在那里可以随时随地做爱 |
| [14:59] | and you don’t even have to drive home after. | 而且完事后还不用开车回家 |
| [15:03] | Now, I have in mind a certain elegant lady. | 我已经有人选了 是一位优雅的女士 |
| [15:07] | Ahh, you’re out of T.P.! | 妈的 你们的厕纸用完了 |
| [15:12] | You can set me up for one night with your friend, | 你帮我牵线和你的朋友共度一晚 |
| [15:14] | and I will gladly leave the apartment. | 然后我将很乐意离开 |
| [15:18] | I’ll be in your booth. | 我去你的卡座等你 |
| [15:22] | Hey, Sophie, you’ll get with that old guy, right? | 苏菲 你能忍受和那老头上床 对吧 |
| [15:25] | Are you fricking kidding me? | 你他妈开什么玩笑啊 |
| [15:30] | Lester, she didn’t go for it. | 莱斯特 她不愿意 |
| [15:32] | I’m not going back to that retirement home | 那我不要拖着我两腿之间的”尾巴” |
| [15:34] | with my tail between my legs. | 灰溜溜地回养老院 |
| [15:36] | I gotta sleep with someone to make Olivia jealous. | 我一定要跟某人上床 好让奥利维亚嫉妒 |
| [15:39] | There’s a new thing that kids are doing called “Lying.” | 其实呢 有一种新事物叫做”撒谎” |
| [15:43] | Why don’t you just make something up? | 你就不能瞎编点什么吗 |
| [15:45] | Pics or it didn’t happen. | 无图无真相 |
| [15:48] | I need a selfie with whoever I hook up with | 我要跟每一个我勾搭的人拍一张自拍照 |
| [15:51] | for my facebook page. | 放到我脸书的主页上 |
| [15:53] | And if it’s not gonna be Sophie, | 如果那个人不是苏菲 |
| [15:56] | my guess, it’s gonna be one of you two up in bed… | 我猜床上的只能是你们俩其中一个了 |
| [16:00] | Slugger. | 强打者 |
| [16:02] | Slugger. | 强打者[棒球] |
| [16:05] | * Take me out to the ball game * | * 带我去看球赛 * |
| [16:09] | * Take me out * | * 带我去 * |
| [16:13] | Now I know why Liza threw up. | 现在我知道丽莎为什么会吐了 |
| [16:23] | Now I’m depressed. | 现在换我内心苦闷了 |
| [16:25] | So you lost the straw pull | 你不过是抽签 |
| [16:27] | for who’s gonna sleep with Lester. | 不幸抽中了要跟莱斯特上床嘛 |
| [16:30] | Look, you’ve been saying you wanted to have sex | 听着 一直说想做爱的人是你 |
| [16:33] | and you’ve also been saying you wanna go antiquing. | 一直说想买古董的人也是你 |
| [16:39] | So, behind that door are both. | 现在打开门 即可拥有这两者 |
| [16:43] | And, Max, I think you cheated in that straw pull. | 麦克斯 我觉得你抽签时作弊了 |
| [16:45] | Of course I cheated! | 我当然作弊啦 |
| [16:47] | Look, I have had a lot of crazy sex. | 我虽然做过很多疯狂的爱 |
| [16:49] | I once did it with a clown at a funeral. | 我曾经在葬礼上跟一个小丑做爱 |
| [16:54] | But I cannot see that penis pump. | 但我无法直视那个阴茎帮浦 |
| [16:56] | I won’t be able to come back from that. | 我会一辈子做恶梦的 |
| [16:58] | You think I can? | 那你觉得我不会吗 |
| [17:01] | I do, I think the science part of your brain would enjoy it. | 是的 我觉得你大脑科学那部分会很喜欢那玩意 |
| [17:06] | Ladies, I’ve stretched. | 姑娘们 我做完伸展运动了 |
| [17:09] | I’m ready. | 可以开始了 |
| [17:13] | Fine, I’ll take the bullet. | 好吧 这颗子弹我来挡 |
| [17:15] | I don’t think there are any bullets in that gun. | 我觉得他那把”枪”也没”子弹”了 |
| [17:21] | Are you sure? | 你确定吗 |
| [17:22] | ’cause I don’t wanna have an old baby. | 我可不想怀上一个老宝宝 |
| [17:26] | This is ridiculous | 这太荒谬了 |
| [17:28] | that we’re even entertaining the thought | 我们都开始自娱自乐了 |
| [17:29] | of doing anything with an old man that isn’t a trump. | 无论跟那老头干嘛 都不是妙招好吗 |
| [17:33] | Max, I can’t do this. | 麦克斯 我做不到 |
| [17:35] | One of us will just have to take | 看来我们俩有一人 |
| [17:36] | that apartment in Earl’s building | 得去厄尔楼里的公寓住 |
| [17:38] | and you will find another place. | 而你就另找住处吧啊 |
| [17:40] | But then we’d have to live apart. | 但这样的话 我们就要分开了 |
| [17:43] | I know, but I don’t see another choice. | 我知道 但别无选择 |
| [17:46] | I’m not ready to live without you. | 可我还不想跟你分开 |
| [17:48] | I’m not ready to live without you. | 我也还不想跟你分开 |
| [18:05] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [18:06] | I saw the pump! Pack your things! | 我看见那帮浦了 你收拾东西滚蛋吧 |
| [18:10] | Max, I can’t believe you were almost willing to do that | 麦克斯 真不敢相信你为了不跟我分开 |
| [18:12] | to live with me. | 差点就牺牲了自己 |
| [18:14] | You know what, I’m going in. | 我太感动了 这次换我来 |
| [18:18] | Because the thought of not seeing you | 因为想到不能一周七天 |
| [18:20] | 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, would kill me! | 一天二十四小时都见到你 我就难过得要死 |
| [18:28] | We’ll meet every Saturday morning for coffee. | 我们还是每周六早上一起喝咖啡好了 |
| [18:31] | Less and less over time, of course. | 当然相聚会随着时间越来越少 |
| [18:33] | That was a good start. What else you got? | 挺不错的开始 你们俩还有什么招 |
| [18:37] | Nothing! | 没了 |
| [18:39] | Ah, I’m really liking this whole back door thing. | 我现在真的好喜欢从”后门”进 |
| [18:44] | Wow, that’s the first time I’ve ever said that. | 这是我第一次说这种话 |
| [18:50] | Don’t get used to it, Sophie. | 别变成习惯了 苏菲 |
| [18:52] | You never do. | 你从没有过 |
| [18:54] | No, I mean, we’re gonna have to leave this place. | 不 我是说我们要离开这间公寓了 |
| [18:56] | We couldn’t do it with Lester. | 我们实在没办法跟莱斯特上床 |
| [18:58] | I know, that’s why I’m here. | 我知道 所以我来了 |
| [19:01] | You don’t have to do this for us. | 你不必为了我们这样做 |
| [19:03] | If you two didn’t live in this building, | 如果你们俩离开了这栋楼 |
| [19:06] | then we’d drift apart | 那我们会渐行渐远 |
| [19:08] | and we’d only see each other on Saturdays for coffee. | 只能在每周六早上喝咖啡的时候见个面 |
| [19:12] | Well… I’d probably only go once. | 而我 大概只会去一次吧 |
| [19:16] | Look, just give me 90 seconds. | 给我90秒 |
| [19:19] | I mean, he’s got a pump. How hard could it be? | 这家伙都得用辅助工具 能有多难[硬]呢 |
| [19:24] | She’s amazing. | 她太见义勇为了 |
| [19:25] | We should probably get her something for this. | 我们应该送她点东西作为报答 |
| [19:27] | What would be appropriate? | 送什么合适呢 |
| [19:29] | That good candle under the sink? | 水槽下面那根好蜡烛吗 |
| [19:30] | We’ve only used it once. | 我们只用过一次 |
| [19:33] | That seems right. | 就送那个吧 |
| [19:36] | I don’t know what that was, but I’m not up to it. | 我不知道那是什么 但我无福消受 |
| [19:40] | I-I don’t think my heart could take it. | 我觉得我的心脏会招架不住 |
| [19:43] | Afraid sex with Sophie would kill you? | 担心跟苏菲做爱会害死你吗 |
| [19:45] | Yeah, that’s why I haven’t gone there. | 没错 所以我才没这么做 |
| [19:48] | You know, I was all excited about–about all the– | 虽然我对海里多的是其他鱼 |
| [19:50] | all the other fish in the sea. | 感到十分性奋 |
| [19:52] | That was a great white shark! | 但里面那条可是大白鲨啊 |
| [19:55] | Hey, come on! | 快进来 |
| [19:57] | I just stretched. I’m ready. | 伸展运动完毕 可以开始了 |
| [20:01] | Look, uh, could we get a quick pic? | 要不我们来拍张照好了 |
| [20:03] | I might’ve gone there, too, if I knew he had an iPhone 5s. | 早知道他有iPhone 5s 我就牺牲一下了 |
| [20:06] | – Try to be as sexy as possible. – Oh, okay, yeah. | -尽量性感一点 -好的 |
| [20:13] | When Olivia sees that, she’s gonna say, “Morty who?” | 当奥利维亚看见这照片时 她肯定不会再想着莫蒂 |
| [20:18] | Girls, enjoy your apartment. | 姑娘们 好好享用这间公寓 |
| [20:21] | I had some lovely times here. | 我在这里过得很愉快 |
| [20:23] | Thank you so much, Lester. | 非常感谢你 莱斯特 |
| [20:25] | Bye, grandpa. | 再见 爷爷 |
| [20:26] | Maybe sometime we could come visit you in the home. | 或许有时间我们可以去养老院看你 |
| [20:29] | Email me. We’ll talk. | 发电邮给我 到时候再说 |
| [20:33] | That’s still in play at his age? | 他这把年纪还用这招吗 |
| [20:35] | Hey, thanks for the blue balls, Lester! | 谢谢你让我没爽到啊 莱斯特 |
| [20:41] | Nighty-night, girls. | 安安啦 姑娘们 |
| [20:50] | Max, we get to stay together! | 麦克斯 我们又可以在一起了 |
| [20:52] | And even better, He left his wheelchair! | 更棒的是 他忘了把轮椅带走了 |
| [20:56] | Push me into the kitchen, I wanna crack open a beer. | 推我进厨房 我要开一瓶啤酒喝 |
| [21:00] | I wonder if I’ll be pushing you like this when you’re 70. | 不知道你70岁的时候 我会不会像这样帮你推轮椅 |
| [21:02] | You’ll be pushing me like this when I’m 30. | 我30岁的时候 你就可以帮我推轮椅了 |
| [21:08] | There’s no place like home. | 金窝银窝比不上自己的狗窝 |
| [21:10] | I’ll go get the scotch tape. | 我去拿透明胶带 |