| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:03] | Who or what did you do to get this $20 tip? | 你是”做”了什么让人家给你20块小费 |
| [00:06] | Because I wheeled a customer home the other night, | 我昨晚推一位坐轮椅的顾客回家 |
| [00:09] | and all I got was a 5. | 才拿到5块小费 |
| [00:11] | And that was after we made out and I gave him a bath. | 而且我跟他亲热完 还帮他洗了个澡 |
| [00:15] | The lady at that table asked me what was special here, | 刚才那桌女士问我们这有什么特别的 |
| [00:18] | and I said, “I used to be,” and then I burst into tears. | 我回答”我曾是特别的姑娘” 然后就喷泪 |
| [00:23] | I pull that out whenever I need a manicure. | 我缺钱做指甲时都会用这招 |
| [00:26] | Well, it’s that time of year again. | 又到了每年的这个时候啦 |
| [00:28] | I’m so jealous. | 真是羡慕嫉妒恨 |
| [00:29] | I can’t believe you only get your period once a year. | 你的大姨妈居然一年只来一次 |
| [00:32] | It’s tax season, and my accountant said | 是纳税季节啦 而我的会计说 |
| [00:34] | I’m getting a refund. | 我有退税款能拿呢 |
| [00:36] | He also complimented these moccasins, | 他还赞美了我的莫卡辛[鹿皮鞋]呢 |
| [00:38] | which are also controversial around here. | 而在这里只会被你们耻笑 |
| [00:41] | Well, they do have the word “mock…” | 因为那鞋子都叫做”莫” |
| [00:43] | – “ass…” – ” And “Sin.” | -“傻” -“逼”了 |
| [00:45] | This is why I never wear overalls, | 这也是为什么我从来不穿全身服 |
| [00:47] | ’cause you two would be… | 因为你们俩会… |
| [00:48] | – Over.. – disgusted? | -全身… -想吐吗 |
| [00:50] | Precisely. | 正是如此 |
| [00:51] | Oh, Earl, that reminds me. | 厄尔 看到你我想起来 |
| [00:54] | I forgot. Here you go. | 我忘了给你 拿去 |
| [00:55] | I finished your taxes. | 我帮你报完税了 |
| [00:56] | And for the future you cannot claim | 以后你不可以再把你的 |
| [00:58] | your weed dealer as a dependent. | 大麻药头列为”抚养亲属”[依赖]了 |
| [01:00] | I don’t know why. I’m very dependent on weed. | 为什么不行 我很依赖大麻啊 |
| [01:05] | Max, since I’ve been helping everyone with their taxes, | 麦克斯 我最近都有在帮忙大家报税 |
| [01:08] | mostly because the only other time I get to use my financial degree | 主要是因为除了报税 我的金融学位就只剩 |
| [01:11] | is counting how many q-tips we have left, | 数家里剩多少棉花棒时能用上 |
| [01:13] | Five– | 剩5根 |
| [01:14] | Three. I dropped two in the toilet, | 是三根 我掉了两根进马桶 |
| [01:16] | and the cockroach is using them as oars for his boat. | 蟑螂兄拿去当他小船的船桨了 |
| [01:20] | Ha. That’ll be cute. | 画面一定很可爱 |
| [01:22] | Look, there are two things I won’t talk about– | 有两件事我是不会跟你谈的 |
| [01:24] | Taxes or your flying dreams. | 我的税务和你的飞行梦想 |
| [01:26] | Face it, Caroline. You’re not going anywhere. | 别傻了 卡洛琳 你哪都去不了 |
| [01:29] | Okay, well, we have to talk about our taxes | 那我们也得谈谈我们小店的税务 |
| [01:31] | and what we’re gonna claim, | 以及我们要索回哪些税款 |
| [01:32] | and, no, you cannot claim I’m ruining your life. | 还有 你不能表示[索款]我毁了你人生 |
| [01:35] | Why? I did that last year and got $10 back. | 为啥 我去年这么做还拿回了10块钱呢 |
| [01:42] | 打工 | |
| [01:42] | 打工 | |
| [01:46] | 单身院长Chilton灰 | |
| [01:46] | 单身院长Chilton灰 | |
| [01:56] | 2:00 A.M., closing time. Let’s go. | 半夜2点 关门时间到 走吧 |
| [02:01] | It’s only 12:30. | 才12点半好吗 |
| [02:04] | – Nice try, Max. – Come on, let’s leave early. | -麦克斯 想得真美 -别这样 早点走嘛 |
| [02:07] | I’m more exhausted than my bra. | 我比我的胸罩还累 |
| [02:10] | Whoa, good, you’re still open. | 太好了 你们还没关门 |
| [02:12] | My fiancee wants a cupcake, | 我的未婚妻想吃小蛋糕 |
| [02:14] | and she always gets what she wants. | 她心一想 事就得成 |
| [02:17] | Hi. | 你们好 |
| [02:20] | I mean, I really want a house in the Hamptons, | 我也很想要在度假胜地有小别墅 |
| [02:22] | but I’ll take a cupcake. | 但是来一个小蛋糕也行啦 |
| [02:24] | I’m nothing like that sounded. | 我其实不是我话中的那种人 |
| [02:25] | Don’t apologize. | 不用道歉 |
| [02:26] | I’m everything like that sounded. | 我完全就是你话中的那种人 |
| [02:29] | Oh, I’ll be right back, babe. | 宝贝 我马上回来 |
| [02:31] | There’s a homeless guy building a shopping bag house | 有个流浪汉正用购物袋在我的保时捷上 |
| [02:33] | around the porsche. | 盖他的窝呢 |
| [02:35] | Too bad. That homeless guy almost had a front porsche. | 可惜了 流浪汉差点就有前保时捷[阳台]了 |
| [02:39] | He hates this neighborhood. | 他很讨厌这一带 |
| [02:41] | So you’ve been held up at gunpoint one or two times? | 他也不过就是被人拿枪威胁过一两回嘛 |
| [02:43] | It’s like, grow a pair, right? | 带种一点 你们说是吧 |
| [02:46] | So what are you eating? | 你想要吃什么口味呢 |
| [02:47] | Um, chocolate. | 巧克力味吧 |
| [02:48] | But, wait, now I’m thinking red velvet. | 等等 我想还是红丝绒吧 |
| [02:52] | Tim put my ring in one when he proposed. | 蒂姆求婚的时候把戒指放红丝绒里了 |
| [02:54] | Oh, he proposed with one of our cupcakes? | 他用我们的小蛋糕求婚的吗 |
| [02:56] | That’s so sweet. | 真是太浪漫了 |
| [02:57] | Yeah, it was. | 是啊 |
| [02:58] | I mean, it was like a whole thing because I swallowed it, | 如果我没把戒指吞下去 一切都很完美 |
| [03:00] | but, once it passed, | 但在”屎落戒出”之后 |
| [03:01] | really so pretty. | 戒指的确很美 |
| [03:04] | I gave him a 20 to move to that Mini Cooper | 我给了20块让他移去迷你库柏边 |
| [03:06] | instead of our car. | 别在我们车边筑巢了 |
| [03:08] | Remind me to start calling Han “Mini Cooper.” | 记得提醒我下次叫阿憨”迷你库柏” |
| [03:11] | Babe, I’ve been thinking. | 宝贝 我在想… |
| [03:13] | Uh-oh. That’s never good. | 惨了 这下不妙了 |
| [03:16] | No, it’s great, babe. Listen. | 宝贝 很妙的 听我说 |
| [03:18] | So, since you proposed to me with one of their cupcakes, | 既然你是用她们的小蛋糕跟我求婚的 |
| [03:20] | I was thinking that these girls should do our wedding cake. | 我在想 那就让她们包办结婚蛋糕吧 |
| [03:23] | But, babe, we already ordered a wedding cake. | 但宝贝 我们已经订了结婚蛋糕了 |
| [03:26] | $1,300. Remember, babe? | 一千三呢 还记得吗 宝贝 |
| [03:28] | I know, but, babe. | 我知道 可是宝贝 |
| [03:30] | They said babe less in the movie Babe. | 电影《小猪宝贝》里都没说这么多次”宝贝” |
| [03:34] | So do you guys do wedding cakes? | 你们这里承办婚礼蛋糕吗 |
| [03:35] | – No. – Yes. | -不做 -做 |
| [03:37] | I don’t. She does. | 我不会做 她会做 |
| [03:38] | She’s the baker, and, yes, | 她才是烘焙师 |
| [03:39] | we do tons of wedding cakes. | 而我们这里也常承办结婚蛋糕 |
| [03:41] | Gay weddings, straight weddings. | 同性恋结婚蛋糕 异性恋结婚蛋糕 |
| [03:42] | Bed wettings. | 尿床[结婚] |
| [03:45] | Claire, you do whatever you want, | 克雷儿 你怎么高兴怎么来 |
| [03:46] | but I’m gonna wait in the car. | 但我要先上车等了 |
| [03:48] | I just can’t do the cake stuff again, babe. | 我承受不了再搞一次蛋糕的事 宝贝 |
| [03:51] | He doesn’t want to do the cake stuff. | 他不想搞蛋糕的事 |
| [03:52] | Well, I don’t want to do the butt stuff. | 我还不想”搞屁眼”的事呢 |
| [03:55] | You know what I mean? | 你懂我意思吧 |
| [03:56] | – No. – Yes. | -不懂 -懂 |
| [03:58] | Why don’t you come in and we can talk about it? | 要不你进来我们里面慢慢谈吧 |
| [04:00] | – Enter through the diner. – Okay. | -从旁边餐厅进来 -好 |
| [04:01] | See you guys in a sec. | 等会见 |
| [04:04] | What is wrong with you? | 你脑子有病啊 |
| [04:05] | I told you I didn’t want any more white girls in the shop. | 我不是说过店里不许再有更多白人蠢妞了吗 |
| [04:09] | And since when do we do wedding cakes? | 而且我们什么时候开始做结婚蛋糕了 |
| [04:11] | Since that guy said $1,300. | 从她男人说一千三的时候 |
| [04:14] | You can do this, Max. You went to pastry school. | 麦克斯 你能行 你都上过烘焙学校了 |
| [04:16] | I also went to high school, | 我也去上过高中啊 |
| [04:18] | but I can’t tell you which president Rock Hudson was. | 但我也不知道洛克·哈德森演的是哪个总统 |
| [04:18] | 美国男演员 曾在电影中饰演过一名虚拟的总统 | |
| [04:22] | I don’t do wedding cakes. | 我不做结婚蛋糕 |
| [04:23] | Okay, I know this may not be the best time for you | 好啦 我知道由于你最近刚分手 |
| [04:26] | to make your first wedding cake because of your recent breakup. | 所以让你做第一个结婚蛋糕 有点不合时宜 |
| [04:29] | Oh, it’s not about Deke. | 跟迪克无关好吗 |
| [04:30] | If you remember, I’m the one who sent his ‘fro out the door. | 你忘了扫爆炸头男出门的正是小女子了吗 |
| [04:35] | Weddings are just stupid. | 婚礼蠢爆了 |
| [04:36] | This whole idea of celebrating love? | 这件庆祝爱情的蠢事 |
| [04:38] | I mean, love works out less than Chris Christie. | 拜托 爱情比克里斯·克里斯帝还狗屁不通 |
| [04:38] | 他于2009年当选美国新泽西州州长 | |
| [04:42] | Right through here. | 走过这扇门 |
| [04:44] | There you go, miss. | 小姐 就是这里啦 |
| [04:46] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [04:47] | Did you want something else? | 你还有事吗 |
| [04:49] | I’ll take whatever I can get. | 能有什么我全要了 |
| [04:52] | Okay, we’re done. | 好了 没你的事了 |
| [04:54] | You’re lucky. This morning, a cannoli shell | 你很幸运了 今天早上 |
| [04:57] | pressed sexual harassment charges against him. | 一个奶油甜馅煎饼卷告他性骚扰呢 |
| [04:57] | 中间充满奶油的柱状食物 | |
| [05:01] | Oh, my God, you guys. | 天啊 两位 |
| [05:02] | Your shop is so adorbs. | 你们的店超口爱啊 |
| [05:04] | I’m Claire, by the way. | 对了 我叫克雷儿 |
| [05:05] | I owned a store on Bedford Ave. | 我在贝德福德大道有家店 |
| [05:06] | A dress shop called “Get the frock out.” | 是一家女装店 叫”女装逼就滚” |
| [05:10] | Oh, I remember that place. | 我记得那家店 |
| [05:11] | Wasn’t it right next to the hair salon, | 是不是就在一家叫 |
| [05:13] | “Unbeweavable” | “编发不思议”的美发店旁 |
| [05:15] | Yeah, yeah, between “Unbeweavable” | 是啊 就在”编发不思议” |
| [05:17] | and the kosher smoothie place | 跟一家犹太净食的奶昔店中间 |
| [05:18] | called “The wandering juice.” | 奶昔店是叫”流浪犹太汁” |
| [05:18] | 传说中 一名犹太人曾在耶稣上十字架前对耶稣不敬 后被诅咒流浪天涯海角 直到耶稣再临 | |
| [05:21] | I love their menorah-nge juice. | 我很喜欢他们的犹太烛台橙汁 |
| [05:25] | Yeah, you know, it was always my dream to have a dress shop. | 我一直梦想着有天开家女装店 |
| [05:27] | But then after a year hardly anyone was coming in, | 但开了一年 生意一直很差 |
| [05:30] | and I was like, maybe I should get the frock out. | 然后我就想 也许该”滚”的人是我 |
| [05:33] | – So I bailed. – I totally get it. | -所以我放弃了 -我完全懂 |
| [05:35] | Our first shop failed, but we got up, | 我们第一间店也倒了 但我们爬起来 |
| [05:37] | dusted ourselves off– | 拍掉身上的灰 |
| [05:38] | Well, Max went on a four-day bender, | 麦克斯则是连续四天喝得醉醺醺 |
| [05:40] | but I found her and dusted her off, | 但我还是找到了她 替她拍拍灰 |
| [05:41] | Then we started again. | 然后我们东山再起 |
| [05:43] | Yeah, good thing you downloaded the “Find your drunk roommate” App. | 多亏你去下载了”寻找醉酒室友”手机软件 |
| [05:47] | Oh, so you guys kept going, even though you failed? | 所以你们虽然失败了 却还是没放弃吗 |
| [05:49] | Why? Don’t you have boyfriends? | 为啥 你们没有男朋友吗 |
| [05:54] | So when are you two getting married? | 所以你们什么哪天结婚 |
| [05:56] | Oh, in three days. | 三天后 |
| [05:57] | Three days? You’re so calm. | 三天后 你好淡定啊 |
| [06:00] | Yeah, well, I was in the plane that crashed in the hudson, | 09年 客机迫降哈德逊河 我就在机上 |
| [06:02] | so after that everything’s just kind of been “meh.” | 在那次事情后 我什么都不怕不怕啦 |
| [06:07] | So do you know what kind of cake you want? | 所以你知道要哪种蛋糕了吗 |
| [06:09] | Absolutely. Something traditional, | 当然 要传统一点 |
| [06:11] | something very old school, you know, very romantic, | 比较老派一点 就是比较浪漫 |
| [06:14] | But, wait, now I’m thinking | 等等 现在我在想 |
| [06:15] | You guys are so cool, | 你们俩都这么酷 |
| [06:17] | what if we did something with a weird hipster Williamsburg vibe? | 要不我们做有威廉斯堡嬉皮士风的怪蛋糕 |
| [06:20] | So you want an obnoxious cake on a trust fund | 所以你要个坐拥信托基金 |
| [06:21] | wearing an ironic t-shirt with HPV? | 穿着嘲讽T恤 讨人厌到爆的蛋糕吗 |
| [06:26] | But, wait, now I’m thinking pastels for spring. | 等等 我现在又在想柔和的春天风 |
| [06:29] | Oh, but, wait, now I’m thinking, | 再等等 我现在又在想 |
| [06:31] | colors. I love clowns. | 色彩缤纷 我喜欢小丑 |
| [06:34] | Wow, she changes her mind more than I change my underwear. | 她改变想法的次数比我换内衣裤还多 |
| [06:39] | So twice? | 所以就两次吗 |
| [06:49] | Sophie, on your tax form here, | 苏菲 在你的报税单上 |
| [06:51] | you listed your occupation as “Sophie.” | 你写了你的职业是”苏菲” |
| [06:56] | Yeah, it’s a full-time job, baby. | 是啊 这可是个全职工作 宝贝 |
| [07:00] | And who claims $5,000 worth of mascara? | 还有 谁会要退五千块钱的睫毛膏税金啊 |
| [07:05] | It’s a business deduction for my cleaning business. | 这是我清洁生意的公司营运费用 |
| [07:07] | I give it out to all the underage girls from Poland as treats. | 那是我给我的波兰未成年女工的奖励 |
| [07:12] | Just because you’re scrubbing toilets | 虽然她们手边刷着马桶 |
| [07:14] | doesn’t mean your eyes can’t pop. | 但不代表她们的眼睛就不能美啊 |
| [07:17] | Do you have any legitimate anything | 你有任何正当的东西 |
| [07:19] | that we can use for anything? | 是可拿来用在任何事上的吗 |
| [07:22] | Here’s a big receipt. | 这有张数目大的发票 |
| [07:24] | $2,500 for stolichnaya. | 两千五的伏特加 |
| [07:28] | You can’t write off liquor. | 酒品不能抵税 |
| [07:30] | No, Irina Stolichnaya. | 是伊莲娜·芙特佳啦 |
| [07:34] | Yeah, she waxes my eyebrows. | 她是帮我修眉毛的 |
| [07:36] | And my downstairs eyebrows. | 以及我”下面的眉毛” |
| [07:41] | Okay, well, there’s no line on this form | 这表格上没有地方是给 |
| [07:43] | for downstairs eyebrows, | “下面的眉毛”的 |
| [07:46] | so I’m just gonna list it as home office. | 所以我就写入家庭办公室吧 |
| [07:51] | Yeah, well, I do work out of it. | 我的确是靠”它”办了不少公 |
| [07:56] | Caroline, where’s Max? | 卡洛琳 麦克斯呢 |
| [07:57] | As much as I enjoy a two-hour break | 虽然我很享受两个小时 |
| [07:59] | from being called a tiny woman, | 不用被叫为”小女人”的时光 |
| [08:02] | She’s supposed to be working. | 但她不能不干活啊 |
| [08:05] | Max, how’s the cake going? | 麦克斯 蛋糕如何了 |
| [08:07] | That bride’s a mess. | 那新娘就是个疯婆子 |
| [08:09] | She changed her mind while she was changing her mind. | 她在改变主意的过程中又改变了主意 |
| [08:15] | Not the good stuff on the top shelf! | 别用上层柜子的好货啊 |
| [08:17] | Oh, you can’t reach it anyway, Mini Cooper. | 反正你平常也拿不到 迷你库柏 |
| [08:23] | Joke’s on her. I have a collapsible ladder. | 她傻逼了吧 哥有折叠梯 |
| [08:30] | Oh, hi, Claire. Max is working on it right now. | 你好 克雷儿 麦克斯正在做呢 |
| [08:33] | Oh, you’ve been thinking? | 你又有在想吗 |
| [08:35] | Caroline, can I get anything for a panty liner? | 卡洛琳 卫生巾钱能抵税吗 |
| [08:43] | I’m on the phone with Claire. | 我正在跟克雷儿[清楚]通电话 |
| [08:45] | You mean un-Claire? | 你是说脑子不清楚那位吗 |
| [08:47] | She wants to make a couple changes. | 她想要做几个改变 |
| [08:49] | – What should I tell her? – Tell her I hate her. | -我该怎么回她 -告诉她我恨她 |
| [08:51] | No, you know what, I’ll tell her. | 不用 这样吧 我来告诉她 |
| [08:54] | I love to tell people things. Give me the phone. | 我喜欢告诉别人事情 电话给我 |
| [08:56] | Max, I beg you. $1,300. | 麦克斯 我求你了 一千三呢 |
| [08:59] | Oh, my God. She is so crazy. | 天啊 她太神经病了 |
| [09:00] | I should just make a giant cake | 我应该直接做个超大的蛋糕 |
| [09:01] | and have a psychiatrist pop out of it. | 让一个精神科医生从里面跳出来 |
| [09:03] | Give me the phone. | 电话给我 |
| [09:05] | Hey, Claire, babe. What’s happening, babe? | 克雷儿宝贝 怎么啦 宝贝 |
| [09:08] | Max, I’ve been thinking, | 麦克斯 我在想 |
| [09:09] | And I know I said I didn’t want the fondant frosting, | 我知道我说过不要翻糖糖霜 |
| [09:12] | but now I just saw a photo of another wedding cake | 但是我刚才看到另一个结婚蛋糕的图 |
| [09:14] | that was so gorge. | 翻糖蛋糕美翻了 |
| [09:15] | And I started thinking… | 所以我就在想… |
| [09:18] | Uh-huh. Sure. No problem. | 行 没问题 |
| [09:21] | So then we can do the fondant? | 所以我们可以做翻糖吗 |
| [09:22] | Yes, definitely fondant. | 当然 绝对翻糖 |
| [09:24] | Perfect. Bye. Love you. | 太好了 再见 爱你哟 |
| [09:26] | Love you too. | 我也爱你 |
| [09:29] | Max, I know you worked hard, | 麦克斯 我知道你费了很多功夫 |
| [09:31] | and you’re probably upset about having to change it. | 也知道你心里听到要修改会很不爽 |
| [09:50] | I’m sensing a lot of hostility | 我感觉到了浓厚的杀气 |
| [09:54] | that has nothing to do with that couple | 而这杀气跟那对新人无关 |
| [09:56] | and may be more about you | 反而是跟你与某位 |
| [09:58] | and a certain groom that didn’t happen. | 有缘无分的新郎比较有关 |
| [10:01] | What, you can’t light a couple’s head on fire | 什么 难道把一对新人的头烧了 |
| [10:03] | without it being about your ex-boyfriend? | 就一定得是跟前男友有关吗 |
| [10:06] | Max, I know you’re sad about it. | 麦克斯 我知道你很伤心 |
| [10:08] | I heard you crying last night. | 我昨晚都听到你哭了 |
| [10:10] | That was you crying. | 哭的人是你 |
| [10:12] | Well, someone was crying. | 好吧 反正某人哭了 |
| [10:23] | Oh, my God. Max. It’s beautiful. | 天啊 麦克斯 太漂亮了 |
| [10:26] | You did an amazing job. | 你做得真是太出色了 |
| [10:27] | That’s quite a cake cake cake. | 这蛋糕真是赞赞赞 |
| [10:30] | Calm down. I made a cake. I didn’t fold a fitted sheet. | 淡定 我不过是做了个蛋糕 又不是折好床单 |
| [10:35] | Ooh, and I like the new bride and groom. | 我喜欢这对新的新郎和新娘 |
| [10:36] | By the way, I fished the other ones out of the garbage | 对了 我把垃圾堆那那对拿出来了 |
| [10:38] | in case we ever get a burn victim wedding. | 以防下次会接到烧伤患者婚礼的订单 |
| [10:41] | Okay, I got the extra icing. Let’s go. | 我把备用的糖霜拿上了 走吧 |
| [10:43] | Now grab it with two hands | 我们要用双手抓着 |
| [10:45] | and lift with your knees. | 然后用膝盖顶起来 |
| [10:46] | Oh, is that how you think it should go? | 你觉得应该这么弄过去吗 |
| [10:48] | ’cause I was gonna grab it with my head | 我本来还打算一头栽进去 |
| [10:49] | and lift it with my face. | 用我的脸顶着走呢 |
| [10:52] | Got it. Got it. Got it. | 搞定 搞定 搞定 |
| [10:55] | Ooh. Oh, wait. | 等一下 |
| [10:57] | Got it. Got it. Got it. | 搞定 搞定 搞定 |
| [11:00] | Got it. Got it. Got it. | 搞定 搞定 搞定 |
| [11:02] | – Grease puddle. – Got it. | -地上有油 -搞定 |
| [11:03] | Got it. Got it. | 搞定 搞定 |
| [11:05] | – Roach. – Got it. | -蟑螂 -搞定 |
| [11:08] | Bedford avenue. | 贝德福德大道 |
| [11:10] | Got it. Got it. Got it. | 搞定 搞定 搞定 |
| [11:12] | Got it. Got it. | 搞定 搞定 |
| [11:14] | Watch the doors. | 注意开关门 |
| [11:17] | – Max, this is so heavy. – I know. | -麦克斯 这太[沉]重了 -我知道 |
| [11:19] | We’re two grown women who can’t afford a taxi. | 我们俩成年人 居然打不起车 |
| [11:22] | Oh, there’s a seat over there. We can put this down. | 那边有个座 我们可以把蛋糕放下了 |
| [11:25] | Got it. Got it. Got it. | 搞定 搞定 搞定 |
| [11:31] | I blame science. | 我怪科学 |
| [11:32] | People shouldn’t be living this long. | 没事干嘛让人活这么久 |
| [11:35] | – Max, I need a break. – Me too. | -麦克斯 我需要休息 -我也是 |
| [11:37] | Maybe just like two weeks apart. | 或许休息个两周 |
| [11:38] | Like, no phone calls, nothing. | 没电话 没你 与世隔绝 |
| [11:41] | I mean the cake. | 我是说抬不动蛋糕啦 |
| [11:42] | And you love me. | 而且你是爱我的 |
| [11:44] | Other side. Less crowded. | 去那边吧 那边人少 |
| [11:46] | Oh, this guy can’t see. Just our luck. | 这家伙看不见 真倒霉 |
| [11:49] | To the left, sir. | 往左走 先生 |
| [11:51] | Other left! | 是你的左边啦 |
| [11:57] | Oh, what, is everybody blind now? | 搞毛啊 现在流行瞎子吗 |
| [12:01] | who are you even dancing for? | 你们跳舞给谁看啊 |
| [12:02] | Everyone’s blind. | 整个车厢都是瞎子 |
| [12:04] | Got it. Got it. Got it. | 搞定 搞定 搞定 |
| [12:06] | Losing it. Losing it. | 没力了 没力了 |
| [12:08] | Holding it. Holding it. Losing it. | 坚持住 坚持住 没力了 |
| [12:10] | Second wind. Got it. Got it. | 恢复元气 搞定 搞定 |
| [12:12] | First Avenue. First Avenue station. | 第一大道 第一大道站到了 |
| [12:14] | There, there. Put it down. | 那边那边 快放下来 |
| [12:19] | Max, I think we got it. | 麦克斯 我们应该是搞定了 |
| [12:28] | Don’t got it. | 完全没搞定 |
| [12:39] | Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. | 搞定 搞定 搞定 搞定 |
| [12:45] | Got it. | 搞定了 |
| [12:48] | This cake looks perfect. You would never know. | 这蛋糕看起来完美无缺 谁都看不出来 |
| [12:50] | That’s why I’m fond of the fondant. Covers everything. | 所以我才喜欢用翻糖 它能遮盖一切 |
| [12:53] | We’ll be long gone by the time they realize | 等他们意识到这蛋糕是一半蛋糕 |
| [12:55] | it’s half cake-half styrofoam from the Radio Shack garbage. | 一半无线电器材公司的泡沫塑料时 我们早走了 |
| [13:00] | Hi. I’m the wedding planner/ my own funeral planner | 你们好 我是这场婚礼兼自己葬礼的策划人 |
| [13:03] | ’cause it ain’t going great. | 因为我快要被这场婚礼搞死了 |
| [13:05] | You the cake girls? | 你们是蛋糕妹吗 |
| [13:07] | You think just ’cause we’re two girls | 你觉得因为我们俩都是女的 |
| [13:08] | with a giant cake we’re the cake girls? | 而且还站在一个大蛋糕旁边 就是蛋糕妹了吗 |
| [13:10] | You think ’cause I’m fake smiling | 你觉得因为我在假笑 |
| [13:11] | I won’t throw you down a flight of stairs? | 我就不会把你们踢飞出去了吗 |
| [13:14] | You do that? Do you have a card? | 你会这么做吗 麻烦给我你的名片 |
| [13:17] | Sorry. We had a rough morning getting this here. | 抱歉 我们早上历尽千辛万苦才把蛋糕弄来这里 |
| [13:20] | You? She changed the menu again. | 就你们辛苦吗 她又把菜单改了 |
| [13:22] | I spent the whole morning making 17 turkeys look | 我为了那个疯婆子 花了一个早上的时间 |
| [13:24] | like 17 hams for that crazy bitch. | 想办法让17只火鸡看起来像17只火腿 |
| [13:28] | Oh, come on, that’s a little har– | 拜托 这么说有点过吧 |
| [13:31] | What? She won’t come out of her room? | 什么 她不愿意出房门 |
| [13:34] | The bride has cold feet. | 新娘临阵退缩了 |
| [13:35] | That crazy bitch. | 那个疯婆子 |
| [13:38] | Here’s a crazy idea. | 我有个疯狂的主意 |
| [13:39] | How about the check for the cake? | 不如先把蛋糕钱付了 |
| [13:42] | All right, I’m gonna tell you two what I told | 我把之前跟”自己做冰棒”那家伙说的话 |
| [13:44] | the make-your-own-popsicle guy. | 再跟你们复述一遍 |
| [13:46] | Nobody gets paid until the bride walks down the aisle. | 新娘没走上红毯前 谁也拿不到一分钱 |
| [13:49] | Nobody. | 谁都别想 |
| [13:54] | There’s gonna be popsicles? | 婚礼上会有冰棒吗 |
| [13:58] | She’s not that crazy. | 看来她没那么疯嘛 |
| [13:59] | So what are we gonna do now? | 我们现在该怎么办 |
| [14:01] | – Let’s go. – Max, we can’t go. | -走吧 -麦克斯 我们不能走 |
| [14:03] | We need this money. | 我们需要这笔钱 |
| [14:04] | We also need a shower curtain that doesn’t give us rashes. | 我们还需要一个不会传染皮疹的浴帘 |
| [14:08] | But, wait, we really need this cake money. | 等一下 我们真的很需要这笔钱 |
| [14:11] | We also really need a toilet | 我们也真的很需要一个 |
| [14:13] | that flushes everything the first time. | 冲一次就能冲干净的马桶 |
| [14:16] | While you were doing the cake, I was doing our taxes. | 你在做蛋糕的时候 我在算我们的纳税额 |
| [14:19] | And we owe Uncle Sam $1,500. | 我们欠山姆大叔[美国政府]一千五 |
| [14:24] | Man, why does every Uncle I know try to screw me? | 靠 为啥我认识的每个大叔都想”搞”死我 |
| [14:29] | So what are we gonna do? | 所以我们该怎么办 |
| [14:30] | You heard that woman– | 你也听到那女人怎么说了 |
| [14:31] | nobody gets paid until the bride walks down the aisle. | 新娘没走上红毯前 谁也拿不到一分钱 |
| [14:34] | Nobody. | 包括我们自己 |
| [14:38] | Knock-knock. There’s the gorgeous bride. | 我们进来啦 原来明艳照人的新娘在这里 |
| [14:41] | Your dress is beautiful. | 你的婚纱真美 |
| [14:43] | It’s a beautiful dress to get married in | 穿着这么美的婚纱就应该 |
| [14:44] | right now in the next room. | 立刻去隔壁房间结婚 |
| [14:47] | No, I hate it. I’m taking it off. | 我不喜欢 我要脱掉 |
| [14:49] | I’m not wearing this dress | 我不会穿这套婚纱 |
| [14:50] | or that one or that one. | 更不会穿那套 或是那套 |
| [14:52] | Because I’m thinking marriage is stupid. | 因为我在想 婚姻是愚蠢的 |
| [14:55] | – So stupid. – Max . | -太愚蠢了 -麦克斯 |
| [14:57] | Stupid beautiful, and everyone should do it. | 既愚蠢又美丽 人人都应该这样做 |
| [15:00] | Nope. It’s not for me. | 不 不适合我 |
| [15:02] | Like underwear. | 就像内裤 |
| [15:02] | 林赛·罗韩在现实生活中 曾多次被狗仔队拍到裙下没穿内裤 | |
| [15:07] | Oh, you’ll feel fine | 你会没事的 |
| [15:09] | as soon as you get back in this dress. | 只要你穿回这套婚纱 |
| [15:11] | Or that dress or that dress. | 或是穿上那套 或那套 |
| [15:12] | Okay, I feel like you guys are forcing me into this dress. | 我感觉你们在逼我穿上婚纱 |
| [15:15] | That’s ridiculous. | 才没有 |
| [15:16] | Forcing you into a dress for money? | 我们怎么可能为了钱逼你穿婚纱 |
| [15:18] | Now where’s that freaking veil? | 那该死的头纱呢 |
| [15:21] | Nope, not that one. | 不是这个 |
| [15:22] | This was just a backup veil. | 这是备用头纱 |
| [15:23] | You can’t even see my face. | 会完全挡住我的脸 |
| [15:24] | It was in case I got herpes. | 是以防我长疱疹准备的 |
| [15:26] | You know how it is. | 你们也知道长疱疹有多可怕 |
| [15:27] | – Yeah. – No. | -我知道 -不知道 |
| [15:30] | – Anyways, I’m thinking… – What, | -总而言之 我在想… -想什么 |
| [15:32] | like seven different things all resulting in us not getting paid? | 七件能导致我们一分钱都拿不到的事情吗 |
| [15:36] | Listen, I’m thinking | 听着 我在想 |
| [15:37] | that maybe I bailed out of my shop too soon. | 或许我太早放弃了我的服装店 |
| [15:39] | I mean, I left after only a year. | 我才开了一年就不干了 |
| [15:41] | Why? ’cause I was just scared? | 难道就因为害怕吗 |
| [15:42] | Well, everybody’s afraid of failure. | 人人都会害怕失败 |
| [15:44] | No, not failure. | 不 不是失败 |
| [15:45] | There was a gang shooting in front of my dress shop. | 有一群黑帮在我服装店门口枪战 |
| [15:48] | I had to bury two mannequins. | 害我不得不埋了两个家人模特 |
| [15:51] | For future reference, just draw a teardrop on your face, | 给你个建议供以后参考 在脸上画颗泪珠 |
| [15:51] | 脸上画/纹泪珠常见于杀过人 或失去过好兄弟的罪犯 几颗泪珠代表失去/杀过的人数 | |
| [15:53] | and they’ll move it to Banana Republic. | 他们就会把战场挪到香蕉共和国 |
| [15:57] | Well, I mean, it wasn’t easy for you guys, right? | 我是说 对你们来说开店也不容易 |
| [16:00] | But you hung in there, | 但你们没有放弃 |
| [16:01] | and now you have this big, successful cake business. | 所以现在才拥有一个成功的大蛋糕店 |
| [16:03] | – We lied. – It’s terrible. | -我们撒谎了 -生意很糟糕 |
| [16:04] | – We’re losers. – Get married. | -我们是废柴 -快去结婚吧 |
| [16:06] | Claire, the only thing harder than building a business | 克雷儿 唯一比开店还难的就是 |
| [16:08] | is finding love. | 寻找真爱 |
| [16:10] | Look at her. She just lost someone she loves, | 你看她 刚刚跟心爱的人分手 |
| [16:12] | and quite frankly she doesn’t think | 老实说连她自己都觉得 |
| [16:14] | it’s ever gonna happen for her again. | 这辈子不会再遇见这么合适的人了 |
| [16:15] | I mean, none of us do. | 其实我们大伙都这么想 |
| [16:18] | Not even Han? | 连阿憨也是吗 |
| [16:20] | No, he’s the one who brought it up. | 是啊 就是他开始提起这事的 |
| [16:24] | Claire, who knows you better than us? | 克雷儿 有谁比我们更了解你呢 |
| [16:27] | You’re getting married. | 你得结婚 |
| [16:30] | You’re right. I should get married. | 你说得对 我是该结婚 |
| [16:34] | – But not to Tim. – What? | -但不是嫁给蒂姆 -什么 |
| [16:36] | You guys will tell him for me, right? | 你们会帮我转告他的 对吗 |
| [16:37] | Tell him I’m no good. Tell him I’m sorry. | 告诉他我配不上他 是我对不起他 |
| [16:39] | You know what, tell him whatever you want. | 算了 你们想怎么说就怎么说 |
| [16:40] | You guys decide. I’m easy. | 你们决定好了 我很随和的 |
| [16:45] | You know what she’s not? Easy. | 她随和个屁 最难搞就是她 |
| [16:50] | You heard that woman– | 你也听到那女人怎么说了 |
| [16:51] | nobody gets paid until the bride walks down the aisle. | 新娘没走上红毯前 谁也拿不到一分钱 |
| [16:59] | Now, remember, don’t lift this veil | 在策划人把支票给我前 |
| [17:01] | until the party planner hands me that check. | 记得千万不要把头纱撩起来 |
| [17:04] | Why don’t you have to wear the dress? | 为什么不是你穿婚纱 |
| [17:05] | You’re practically a virgin. | 你基本上就是个适合嫁人的纯洁处女 |
| [17:08] | Max, somebody has to walk down the aisle, and I can’t do it. | 麦克斯 必须有人穿婚纱走红毯 而我不行 |
| [17:10] | Marriage means something to me, | 婚姻对我是有意义的 |
| [17:12] | and I only plan to walk down that aisle once. | 而且我这辈子只打算走一次红毯[过道] |
| [17:14] | You also said that about the yeast infection aisle at CVS, | 你在药店卖宫颈感染药的过道也这么说过 |
| [17:18] | but there you were last Saturday | 但上周六你又去了 |
| [17:20] | pretending to buy children’s cough syrup. | 还假装是买儿童止咳糖浆 |
| [17:25] | Let’s go. | 走吧 |
| [17:29] | Wait, Max. | 等等我 麦克斯 |
| [17:30] | Max, wait, wait! | 麦克斯 等等 |
| [17:32] | Wait, Max!! | 等等我 麦克斯 |
| [17:36] | Now just walk down the aisle like it’s your special day. | 走红毯时要像今天就是你的大日子一样 |
| [17:39] | Go. The bride never talks to the cake lady. | 退下 新娘才不会跟蛋糕妹说话 |
| [17:41] | People are like, “Who’s that?” | 人们会问”那是谁呀” |
| [17:44] | If you think they’re like, “who’s that?” now, | 如果你觉得他们现在在想”那是谁” |
| [17:45] | wait a few minutes till that veil gets lifted. | 等会你头纱掀起时 他们会更有那感觉的 |
| [18:11] | Can’t believe it. She’s actually walking down that aisle. | 难以置信 她居然真的走上红毯了 |
| [18:15] | Yup, that’s totally her walking down the aisle. | 是呀 走红毯那个绝对是她 |
| [18:17] | So the check, you can hand it to me now. | 所以你现在可以把支票给我了 |
| [18:21] | You look stunning, babe. | 你真美 宝贝 |
| [18:36] | Come on, come on, come on. | 快点 快点 |
| [18:37] | I’ll just take whatever check’s on top. | 直接给我最上面那张就行了 |
| [18:40] | Babe, babe, wait. | 宝贝 宝贝 慢着 |
| [18:43] | Now I’m thinking I do want to get married. | 现在我想结婚了 |
| [18:46] | Babe, if you’re there, who is… | 宝贝 如果你在那 那这是谁 |
| [18:53] | ‘Sup? | 你好呀 |
| [19:03] | Babe, I know I said I didn’t want any kids, | 宝贝 之前我说不想要小孩 |
| [19:05] | but now I’m thinking four. | 但现在我想要四个 |
| [19:08] | Babe, you should have said that before the vasectomy. | 宝贝 这话你应该在我结扎之前说的 |
| [19:11] | You can always reverse it. | 你可以解除的嘛 |
| [19:13] | Again. | 你不早说 |
| [19:16] | So you’re the father, huh? | 你是新人的父亲吗 |
| [19:18] | And you stuck around. | 而你居然没抛妻弃子 |
| [19:21] | That’s an interesting way to play it. | 你这么做也挺有意思的 |
| [19:24] | Okay, I got the check. We can leave. | 我拿到支票了 我们可以走了 |
| [19:26] | Not now. I’m doing the father-daughter dance. | 现在不行 我们在跳父女舞呢 |
| [19:28] | May I cut in? | 介意换人吗 |
| [19:30] | Oh, no, with her. | 我是要跟她跳 |
| [19:32] | If you’re trying to hook up with me, | 如果你想泡我 |
| [19:33] | you’re a little late. | 那抱歉你来晚了 |
| [19:34] | That dad just slipped me his room key. | 那位爸爸刚把房间钥匙偷塞给我了 |
| [19:38] | You really do make a lovely bride. | 你当新娘的样子真可爱 |
| [19:40] | Oh, thanks. You know I have one | 多谢 你知道我把 |
| [19:42] | Of those ham turkeys in my underwear, right? | 一只火腿火鸡塞到我内裤里了 对吧 |
| [19:45] | Oh, I thought you were just happy to see me. | 我还以为你的爽样是因为看到我呢 |
| [19:50] | This is nice. | 这感觉真好 |
| [19:52] | And that cake really is beautiful. | 那个蛋糕真的很漂亮 |
| [19:54] | Thanks. | 谢谢 |
| [19:56] | Wish I could have showed it to… | 真希望可以给… |
| [19:59] | Deke. | 迪克看 |
| [20:00] | Yeah. | 是啊 |
| [20:01] | So are you really okay? | 你真的没事吗 |
| [20:03] | I know you loved him. | 我知道你很爱他 |
| [20:05] | I did, which is the worst | 我是爱他 这样才惨 |
| [20:06] | because it made me feel almost like a person. | 因为会让我感觉更像个有血有肉的人 |
| [20:10] | Max, Caroline, hi. | 麦克斯 卡洛琳 你们好 |
| [20:13] | I just wanted to say thank you for everything. | 我想感谢你们为我做的一切 |
| [20:14] | And I was watching you guys dance together, | 我刚看见你们俩一起跳舞 |
| [20:16] | and now I’m thinking I might be into girls. | 现在我在想 或许我开始喜欢女人了 |
| [20:21] | Can I call you? | 我可以打给你吗 |
| [20:22] | – Yes. – No. | -可以 -不行 |
| [20:24] | Great. | 太好了 |
| [20:27] | What do you mean the bottom of the cake says Radio Shack? | 你说什么 蛋糕下面写着无线电器材公司 |
| [20:31] | That’s our cue. | 我们该走了 |
| [20:33] | Wait, wait, I haven’t thrown the bouquet yet. | 等等 我还没抛手捧花呢 |
| [20:36] | Hey, single ladies. | 各位单身妹子 |
| [20:38] | Here we go. | 准备好了 |
| [20:39] | One, two, | 一 二 |
| [20:43] | Three. | 三 |
| [20:46] | Hey, cake girls. | 蛋糕妹 |
| [20:48] | Styrofoam? | 泡沫塑料 |
| [20:51] | It’s gluten-free. | 那个不含麸质哦 |