| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Hi. Today’s special is clam chowder, | 你们好 今日的特餐是蛤蜊浓汤 |
| [00:04] | and today’s advice is don’t eat it. | 而今日的建议是别吃 |
| [00:08] | Do you have Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch? | 你们这里有蛋”卷福”吗 |
| [00:08] | 本尼迪克特·康伯巴奇 在英剧《神探夏洛克》中 饰演的福尔摩斯有着卷发 所以又被粉丝叫”卷福” | |
| [00:13] | You are really killing it tonight, Mary, | 玛丽 你今晚真是笑”杀”四方啊 |
| [00:16] | and leaving no evidence. | 而且没留下任何证据 |
| [00:19] | We’re coming from Sherlock-con. | 我们刚参加完”神夏大会” |
| [00:21] | It’s like Comic-Con, but for Sherlock Holmes fans. | 像是”动漫大会”的《神探夏洛克》版 |
| [00:23] | So it’s way cooler. | 比”动漫大会”酷多了 |
| [00:26] | Excuse me for a sec. | 原谅我失陪一下 |
| [00:27] | There’s another waitress here | 店里有另一位服务员 |
| [00:28] | who is gonna be a big fan of all of this. | 一定会很乐意看到你们的一举一动 |
| [00:33] | You’re welcome for what I’m about to show you. | 带你看样东西 不用谢我了 |
| [00:35] | Look, guess what they are. | 你猜她们是什么来路 |
| [00:38] | Time-traveling lesbians. | 穿越时空的拉拉吗 |
| [00:42] | – We’re not lesbians. – I am. | -我们不是拉拉 -我是 |
| [00:46] | What is this? What just let out? | 她们是哪个活动结束后放出来的吗 |
| [00:49] | A sale at the Burlington Coat Factory? | 低档商场大拍卖吗 |
| [00:52] | They’re Sherlock Holmes super-fans | 她们是《神探夏洛克》的死忠粉 |
| [00:54] | coming from a convention, | 刚参加完”神夏大会” |
| [00:56] | which means there are a lot of cats home alone right now. | 现在肯定有无数猫在家中独守空闺啊 |
| [00:59] | Well, I’d say the only mystery | 现在唯一的谜题是 |
| [01:01] | is who here gets laid the least. | 谁”阴门最鲜为君开”吧 |
| [01:03] | Hello. | 你们好啊 |
| [01:07] | Cracked it, Watson. | 华生 咱们突破盲点了 |
| [01:11] | 打工 | |
| [01:11] | 打工 | |
| [01:15] | 怪盗少女基德灰 | |
| [01:15] | 怪盗少女基德灰 | |
| [01:25] | One of those Sherlock ladies | 有个神夏粉 |
| [01:26] | left her carpal tunnel brace in here. | 把她的腕隧道症护腕忘在这里了 |
| [01:28] | No address, but there’s a card that says, | 里面没有主人地址 不过有一张写着 |
| [01:30] | “In case of emergency, dial 1-800-chocolate.” | “如发生紧急事故 请拨打1800-巧克力” |
| [01:31] | 许多公司喜欢选能与产品有关联的号码 chocolate对照电话键盘上的字母即是电话号 | |
| [01:34] | And I’ll take that. | 这我收下了 |
| [01:37] | Okay, everybody. It’s that time again– | 好了各位 又到了这重大时刻 |
| [01:39] | The diner’s big spring clean! | 餐厅的春季大扫除 |
| [01:43] | Oh, my God, has it been six years already? | 天啊 六年一度又到来了吗 |
| [01:45] | Too bad I just developed carpal tunnel. | 可惜我刚得了腕隧道症 |
| [01:45] | 好发于得做重复性腕部活动的职业 能造成手部麻木 无力 疼痛等症状 | |
| [01:48] | Max, do you think you can fake a stroke? | 麦克斯演得出假中风吗 |
| [01:50] | Fake a stroke, fake an orgasm, | 假中风 假高潮 |
| [01:51] | basically anything that will get me out of work. | 只要能偷懒 我啥都假得出 |
| [01:54] | Okay, we have lots of chores to do, | 我们有很多的活要干 |
| [01:56] | and somebody will have to double up, | 而且有人还得做二人份 |
| [01:58] | because Earl asked me not to speak to him | 因为厄尔叫我今晚 |
| [02:00] | for the rest of the night. | 不许再跟他说话 |
| [02:02] | Didn’t I tell you to keep my name out your mouth? | 大爷不是让你连我名字都不许提吗 |
| [02:06] | So, girls, what do you say we make it fun, huh? | 姑娘们 我们把干活弄得好玩点如何 |
| [02:10] | I’ll read a chore. You raise your hand. | 我念出一项工作 想做的人就举手 |
| [02:13] | Scrape the fat puddle from under the stove! | 清理灶台周围的油脂脏污 |
| [02:19] | No takers? | 没人要去吗 |
| [02:21] | Next. | 下一项 |
| [02:23] | Clear the spider community in the walk-in! | 清除冷藏库里的蜘蛛团伙 |
| [02:27] | No takers? | 没人要去吗 |
| [02:30] | Next. | 下一项 |
| [02:31] | Clear the spider community in the dish room! | 清除洗碗盘区的蜘蛛团伙 |
| [02:36] | No takers? | 也没人要去吗 |
| [02:38] | Han, sorry, I can’t clean. I have carpal tunnel. | 阿憨 抱歉 我不能清理 我得了腕隧道症 |
| [02:41] | The doctor says I can’t put any pressure on my wrist. | 医生说我的手不能出力 |
| [02:47] | And I can’t clean either, Han. It’s my jaw. | 阿憨 我也不能打扫 我下颚有病 |
| [02:49] | I’ve got real bad “T.M.Z.” | 我得了”T.M.Z”病[其实是杂志名字] |
| [02:52] | Oh, you girls are so full of crap, | 你们俩妞真是信口雌[屎]黄 |
| [02:54] | Like that third stall in the men’s room. | 跟满是屎的男厕三号间一样 |
| [02:57] | Any takers? | 有人要去吗 |
| [03:00] | She was so friendly in the job interview. | 她当初面试的时候明明还很友善呢 |
| [03:08] | Bonjour, Max. | 你好 麦克斯 |
| [03:09] | Oh, Chef Nicolas. | 尼可拉斯大厨 |
| [03:10] | Why am I seeing you outside of pastry school? | 为什么我会在不是学校的地方见到你呢 |
| [03:12] | Is it about my flan? | 是因为我的果馅饼作业吗 |
| [03:13] | Because no one likes that stuff anyway. | 反正也没人爱吃那玩意嘛 |
| [03:16] | Oh, no, that’s not why I’m here. | 我不是为了那个而来的 |
| [03:17] | I want to speak to Caroline. | 我是想来跟卡洛琳谈谈 |
| [03:19] | But, yes, I gave your flan a “C”-minus. | 不过我的确给了你的果馅饼”C-“的分数 |
| [03:21] | It was flat. | 太平淡了 |
| [03:23] | I’ll go get her. Wow. | 行 我去叫她 |
| [03:25] | First time a teacher’s ever called me flat. | 第一次有老师说我”平”呢 |
| [03:29] | Ow, ow, ow! Oh, my wrist! | 我的手腕啊 |
| [03:31] | Oh, I thought you were Han. | 我还以为是阿憨来了呢 |
| [03:34] | Please, I’m twice the man he is. | 拜托 我比他还爷们两倍 |
| [03:37] | Nicolas is here. | 尼可拉斯来了 |
| [03:38] | What? No, no, no! | 什么 不 不行 |
| [03:40] | He can’t be in my personal life! | 他不可以闯入我私人生活 |
| [03:41] | I’m having a hard enough time | 在学校躲他 |
| [03:42] | avoiding working with him at pastry school. | 就已经费了我很大劲了 |
| [03:44] | Did I just call the diner my personal life? | 我刚才把餐厅称为我的私人生活吗 |
| [03:48] | I think so. I wasn’t listening. | 好像吧 我没在听 |
| [03:49] | So what do I tell him? | 那我该怎么跟他说 |
| [03:51] | Tell him he’s married, and I don’t go out with married men. | 说我不跟他这种有妇之夫约会的 |
| [03:53] | Tell him what we had was a passing flirtation. | 跟他说我们之前只是调戏挑逗罢了 |
| [03:55] | Tell him now it’s over, and he has to move on. | 一切到此为止 别纠缠了 |
| [03:57] | Got it, you died in a grease fire. | 懂了 你死于厨房油脂走火 |
| [04:00] | She’s not here yet. | 她还没到 |
| [04:02] | Oh, well, will she be coming? | 那她会来吗 |
| [04:04] | Will she be coming? Nope, not anytime soon. | 她会来吗 短时间内是不会了 |
| [04:07] | Okay, I’ll text her. Au revoir, Max. | 好 那我发她短信 再见啦 麦克斯 |
| [04:11] | Sir, don’t take this the wrong way, | 先生 别误会我的意思 |
| [04:13] | but you are one fine-looking man. | 但我想说你很帅 |
| [04:16] | Well, thank you very much. | 谢谢夸奖 |
| [04:18] | And back at you. | 你也是 |
| [04:20] | Tell me something I don’t know. | 能说点我不知道的吗 |
| [04:24] | Look at this. Nicolas already texted me. | 你看 尼可拉斯给我发短信了 |
| [04:26] | “Will you have dinner?” What should I do? | “愿意共进晚餐吗” 我该怎么办 |
| [04:28] | Just ignore it, like I’m doing with that table | 装没看见啊 就跟我对那桌 |
| [04:30] | that’s flagging me down right now. | 正对我招手的人一样 |
| [04:33] | I’m putting a stop to this Nicolas thing. | 我要为这尼可拉斯的事划下句点 |
| [04:35] | “I’ll have dinner with you | “等你跟你老婆离婚了 |
| [04:37] | When you leave your wife.” | 我就跟你共进晚餐” |
| [04:39] | And se-end. | 送出出 |
| [04:42] | If you ever say “se-end” again, | 你以后再敢说次”送出出” |
| [04:44] | we’re not gonna be “fri-ends.” | 我就会让你”滚粗粗” |
| [04:47] | Hey, everybody! | 大家安安 |
| [04:50] | I just got back from Sundance. | 我刚从圣丹斯的独立电影节回来 |
| [04:53] | I saw ten Mark Ruffalo movies, | 看了10部马克·鲁法洛电影 |
| [04:53] | 马克·鲁法洛 美国知名演员 曾出演多部电影 如《复仇者联盟》《惊天魔盗团》 | |
| [04:55] | and I got to watch Catherine Keener DJ. | 还看到女演员凯瑟琳·基纳当DJ呢 |
| [04:58] | Well, whoever that is. | 又或者是别人吧 |
| [05:01] | I was in an indie movie once. | 我也曾经出演过独立电影 |
| [05:03] | Well, a guy filmed me eating a sloppy joe | 一男的拍我在运动用品店里的 |
| [05:05] | in the dressing room of a Sport Chalet. | 更衣室里吃着邋遢乔三明治 |
| [05:08] | Sophie, how did you get into the Sundance film festival? | 苏菲 你是怎么进圣丹斯电影节的呢 |
| [05:11] | Oh, I’m dating one of the bigwigs. | 我跟一个大亨[大假发]约会了 |
| [05:13] | He drives the Miramax party bus, | 他是电影公司派对车的司机 |
| [05:15] | and he wears a big wig. | 而且戴了顶大假发 |
| [05:18] | So I’m thinking about producing my own movie. | 所以我也在考虑自己拍一部片 |
| [05:22] | You know, getting into the biz, babe. | 你懂得 混进圈子嘛 宝贝 |
| [05:26] | Sophie, if you need an actor, let me know. | 苏菲 如果你需要演员就告诉我 |
| [05:29] | But I’ll only do full frontal. | 但我只愿意正面全裸 |
| [05:33] | I’ll also do partial frontal or just penis close-ups. | 正面局部全裸或”神雕”特写也行 |
| [05:39] | And if you need someone to play God, a judge, | 如果你需要人来扮演天神 法官 |
| [05:40] | 黑人影星摩根·费里曼曾在电影《冒牌天神》 《虚荣的篝火》《贝拉的魔法》中饰演过这些角色 | |
| [05:42] | or an old guy sitting on a porch, | 或者当个坐在前院的老头 |
| [05:44] | I’m your man. | 找我准没错 |
| [05:50] | Everyone, keep piping your cakes. | 大家继续给蛋糕裱花 |
| [05:52] | Keep piping. | 继续裱花 |
| [05:54] | Max, vite, vite. You need to pipe that more. | 麦克斯 快 快点 得多婊点花 |
| [05:56] | That’s funny, because my high school guidance counselor | 有意思 想当年我高中时的辅导员 |
| [05:58] | told me I need to pipe way less. | 总叫我少抽点大麻[裱花] |
| [06:01] | Max, you are falling behind today. | 麦克斯 你今天进度落后了 |
| [06:03] | Where’s your Deke? | 你的迪克[鸡鸡]呢 |
| [06:04] | In my pants, where it always is. | 跟平日一样收在我裤裆里呢 |
| [06:07] | Oh, you mean Deke. | 你是指迪克啊 |
| [06:09] | He’s got the flu. It’s everywhere. | 到处都在传染流感 他也染上了 |
| [06:10] | No one can shake it. It’s like Taylor Swift. | 这感冒甩都甩不掉 跟泰勒·斯威夫特一样 |
| [06:13] | Yeah, or pitbull. | 也像咬人的斗牛犬 |
| [06:16] | Okay, everyone, that’s time. | 好了各位 下课时间到了 |
| [06:17] | I will see you all tomorrow. Au revoir, class. | 下课 大家明天见 |
| [06:20] | Au revoir, Chef. | 大厨再见 |
| [06:23] | Let’s go. Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go. | 走吧 走 走 走 走 |
| [06:25] | Come on, come on, hurry. Let’s get outta here. | 走啦 快点 赶紧走人 |
| [06:26] | What’s the hurry? | 干嘛这么着急 |
| [06:28] | You sound like my mother whenever the real people | 我妈发现我们偷住的房子 |
| [06:29] | who lived in the house would come home. | 主人回家时就会像你这么催我 |
| [06:32] | We need to leave now, | 我们现在得趁 |
| [06:33] | while Nicolas is in his office. | 尼可拉斯在他办公室里时开溜 |
| [06:34] | I don’t want him to see me. | 我不想被他看到 |
| [06:35] | I said everything I needed to say to him in my last text. | 我上一条短信就跟他把该说的说清楚了 |
| [06:38] | Ooh, I smell scandal. | 我闻到了奸情 |
| [06:42] | So I’ve been hiding in the stairwell all day. | 所以我在楼梯间里躲了一整天了 |
| [06:44] | Guess where those stairs go. | 你猜楼梯间通向哪里了 |
| [06:46] | A room where ten Vietnamese women | 一间有十个越南女人的房间 |
| [06:47] | are making next year’s “Prada.” | 她们正在山寨明年款的普拉达 |
| [06:50] | And they do not like visitors. | 她们十分不喜欢”访客”哦 |
| [06:54] | Oh, is that where you were? | 原来你跑去那里啦 |
| [06:55] | ‘Cause he asked me, so I told him you were pooping. | 他之前也问过我 我就说你去拉屎了 |
| [06:59] | Max, don’t tell him I’m pooping! | 麦克斯 你怎么能说我去拉屎了 |
| [07:01] | There’s no shame in it, Caroline. | 这事又没什么好可耻的 卡洛琳 |
| [07:03] | Everyone poops. | 人生自古谁无屎 |
| [07:05] | I don’t. | 我就没 |
| [07:07] | I just eat, digest, and then an angel comes | 我就吃 消化 然后会有天使 |
| [07:09] | and takes it away in the night. | 乘着夜色飞来将便便取走 |
| [07:13] | Excuse me, John. This is private. | 抱歉 强哥 这是私人谈话 |
| [07:14] | It’s just between us girls. | 是我们姑娘们之间的密语 |
| [07:16] | I know. That’s why I’m standing here. | 我知道啊 所以我才站在这边 |
| [07:20] | Okay, I’m ready. Let me just grab | 好了 我也好了 等我拿上 |
| [07:21] | the medicine I got for Deke. | 这个买给迪克的药吧 |
| [07:23] | Aw, that’s sweet. You got him antibiotics? | 真有爱 你给他买抗生素了吗 |
| [07:25] | No, I got him vicodin. I want him to feel better. | 不是 我买了维柯丁 我想他舒服点 |
| [07:25] | 是一种鸦片类麻醉性镇痛药物 是处方药 有成瘾性 《豪斯医生》的爱用药 | |
| [07:28] | I just have to make it down the hall | 我只要走过走廊到达电梯的期间 |
| [07:29] | until the elevator without Nicolas catching me. | 不要被尼可拉斯看见就行了 |
| [07:31] | Oh, like sexual frogger. | 就像是成人版的青蛙过街游戏 |
| [07:34] | Game over. Your frog just got hit by a car. | 游戏结束 你的青蛙被车碾死了 |
| [07:37] | Caroline, there you are. | 卡洛琳你在这里啊 |
| [07:39] | I can’t help feeling you’re avoiding me or something. | 我总觉得你可以在故意避开我 |
| [07:41] | Avoiding you? No! I’ve been… | 哪有避开你 我是去… |
| [07:45] | Pooping. | 拉屎了 |
| [07:48] | For five hours? | 整整5小时吗 |
| [07:51] | She had a reluctant stool. | 她的便便有点宅 |
| [07:55] | Oh, is that not helping? | 帮倒忙了吗 |
| [07:58] | Caroline, I have something to tell you. | 卡洛琳 我有事想跟你说 |
| [07:59] | Can we talk? | 能聊两句吗 |
| [08:00] | We’re all waiting. | 我们都在等呢 |
| [08:03] | You know in your text how you said that | 你还记得你那条短信中说 |
| [08:04] | you won’t have dinner with me while I’m still married? | “只要我还是有妇之夫 你就不跟我共进晚餐” |
| [08:07] | Better clear some space on my DVR. | 我的电视硬盘录像机得清点空间了 |
| [08:09] | There’s a new Scandal. | 新的《丑闻》要上映 |
| [08:11] | Well, you can have dinner with me, | 你现在可以放心与我共进晚餐 |
| [08:13] | because I’m leaving my wife. | 因为我要跟我老婆离婚了 |
| [08:34] | Uh, hello? What happened? | 你是怎么回事啊 |
| [08:36] | Dude told you he was gonna leave his wife, | 他刚跟你说要跟老婆离婚 |
| [08:38] | and you left faster than Vladimir Putin at a gay bar. | 你就逃得比误进男同酒吧的普京还快 |
| [08:38] | 俄罗斯总统普京去年七月立法禁止”非传统两性关系” 并可应用到同志或支持同志的外国旅客 | |
| [08:44] | It’s all a blur. I blacked out. | 我惊讶到记忆直接断片了 |
| [08:46] | I don’t even know how I got here. | 我都记不得我是怎么来这里的了 |
| [08:48] | I think I took the train, but, Max, | 应该是坐火车吧 麦克斯 |
| [08:50] | I might have taken the bus. | 但也可能是堕落到坐了公车 |
| [08:55] | It came out of nowhere. | 他这消息太突然了 |
| [08:56] | I never expected him to leave his wife. | 我从没想过他会跟老婆离婚 |
| [08:59] | It came out of your thumbs | 这消息的源头 |
| [09:01] | when you texted it to him. | 就是你发给他短信的贱拇指 |
| [09:04] | Look, when I texted him that, | 我跟他发那条短信时 |
| [09:05] | I was just being flirty. | 就只是在挑逗他嘛 |
| [09:07] | Flirty is me not wearing underwear | 姐不穿胸罩去时代广场的 |
| [09:09] | to the Times Square M&M store. | 巧克力豆店才叫挑逗好吗 |
| [09:13] | So you really don’t want him to leave his wife? | 所以你真不想他跟老婆离婚吗 |
| [09:15] | No! | 当然不想 |
| [09:16] | I mean, sure, maybe I fantasized about it, | 我的确是有这么意淫过 |
| [09:19] | but in my fantasy we were on a ski trip, | 但幻想中我们是在雪乡滑雪 |
| [09:21] | and I was jumping up and down, excited, | 然后我很兴奋地跟我最好的朋友 |
| [09:22] | with my best friend Jennifer Lawrence. | 珍妮佛·劳伦斯一起上蹦下跳 |
| [09:22] | 美国年轻女演员 出演过《饥饿游戏》系列 《美国骗局》等 已得过奥斯卡最佳女主与女配奖 | |
| [09:25] | Cool, maybe call Jen next time | 你下次被垃圾桶边的负鼠吓到时 |
| [09:27] | the possum traps you by the garbage cans. | 记得打电话让你好友阿珍来救你啊 |
| [09:30] | Look, I thought we were just having a fun distraction. | 我以为我跟他就只是在消磨时间 图一乐嘛 |
| [09:33] | You know, a couple kisses, a dry hump here and there. | 也就是随便亲几下 偶尔”磨蹭磨蹭” |
| [09:37] | Oh, like the cheerleaders with the good grades. | 那种只乱不淫 成绩高分的”校花”吗 |
| [09:39] | 美国学校里的拉拉队成员通常都是校园美女 但她们普遍成绩较差 私生活颇为淫乱 | |
| [09:41] | Exactly. I’m not the type of person | 没错 我不是那种 |
| [09:43] | who wants him to leave his wife. | 会破坏别人婚姻的人 |
| [09:44] | No, you’re the type of person | 对 你是那种 |
| [09:45] | who almost wants him to leave his wife. | 差一点就要破坏别人婚姻的人 |
| [09:48] | Yes! Yes, that’s me! | 没错没错 我就是这样 |
| [09:49] | I’m the “almost” girl. | 我就是传说中的”差一点”女孩 |
| [09:51] | I almost lost my virginity 25 times. | 我曾25次差一点失去我的童贞 |
| [09:54] | This was my conversation with my friends | 我高中时每周一跟我朋友的 |
| [09:56] | every Monday in high school: | 对话就是这样 |
| [09:57] | “Did you?” | “那个了吗” |
| [09:58] | “Almost.” | “差一点” |
| [10:02] | Funny, ’cause I almost went to high school. | 有意思 因为我差一点就去念高中了 |
| [10:06] | Max, I have to figure out what to do about Nicolas | 麦克斯 我得想办法阻止尼可拉斯 |
| [10:09] | before he almost makes a big mistake | 以防他差一点就铸成大错 |
| [10:11] | and leaves his wife. | 离开他的老婆 |
| [10:13] | He’s not leaving his wife for you. | 他才不会为了你而离开他老婆 |
| [10:16] | It’s just a thing you say | 男人对美女说这种话 |
| [10:17] | to pretty women to get them into bed. | 只是为了骗她们上床 |
| [10:20] | Like, “I’m a Russian prince,” | 就好像”我是俄罗斯的王子” |
| [10:22] | Or, “That was a good story.” | 或是”你的故事真有意思” |
| [10:27] | With a tank top collection like yours, | 你有这么多款式的紧身小背心 |
| [10:29] | I’m surprised you have to say anything. | 哪还用得着编瞎话骗女人上床啊 |
| [10:32] | I know, right? | 就是说嘛 |
| [10:35] | So you don’t really think he’s serious about leaving her? | 所以你觉得他不是真的要离开他老婆吗 |
| [10:38] | No. I’ve told dozens of women | 不是 我跟大把女人说过 |
| [10:40] | I’m leaving my wife for them, | 我会为了她们离婚 |
| [10:41] | and I’m not even married. | 而我根本没有结婚 |
| [10:45] | Here in America. | 至少在美国没有 |
| [10:48] | That was nice of Oleg. | 奥列格太好了 |
| [10:50] | Just when you think you’ve seen every part of a person– | 当你觉得你对一个人已经有全面的了解时 |
| [10:52] | ’cause he’s shown you on his phone– | 因为他把”每一面”都用手机发给你看了 |
| [10:55] | He surprises you. | 他却给你惊喜 |
| [10:57] | Oh, I feel so much better. | 我现在感觉好多了 |
| [10:58] | Nicolas is not going to leave her. | 尼可拉斯不会离开他老婆 |
| [10:59] | No, why would he leave her for you? | 当然不会 他怎么会为了你离开他 |
| [11:02] | Well, you don’t have to be nasty about it. | 你也不用说这么难听的话吧 |
| [11:07] | Max, I just got another text from Nicolas | 麦克斯 尼可拉斯又发短信跟我说 |
| [11:09] | about him leaving his wife. | 他要离开他老婆 |
| [11:10] | Oleg, now he says he’s telling his wife | 奥列格 现在又说他明天四点 |
| [11:12] | tomorrow at 4:00 that he’s leaving her. | 就要跟他的老婆摊牌 |
| [11:15] | You got a timeframe? | 还有时间表啦 |
| [11:17] | Oh, if he puts a clock on it, it’s happening. | 如果他有订下时间表 那就是真的了 |
| [11:20] | Pick-up, cantaloupe. | 上菜了 甜瓜 |
| [11:23] | Max, there’s a clock on it. | 麦克斯 他连摊牌时间都定好了 |
| [11:25] | But isn’t his wife in France? | 他老婆不是在法国吗 |
| [11:26] | Yeah, but they Skype every day. | 是啊 但他们每天都视频聊天 |
| [11:28] | They’re like the French Jetsons. | 他们就像法国版的《杰森一家》 |
| [11:28] | 《摩登原始人》的科技太空版本 | |
| [11:30] | He’s gonna Skype break up with her? | 他要用视频来说分手吗 |
| [11:33] | That is low. | 这招太贱了 |
| [11:34] | And smart. Might steal that move one day. | 也很聪明 或许某天我会偷来用 |
| [11:37] | Oh, good, I see your wrist is better, | 太好了 我看你手腕好很多了嘛 |
| [11:39] | and I’m gonna need some help. | 过来帮帮我吧 |
| [11:40] | The cleaning situation has gotten a little complicated. | 大扫除变得有一点点小棘手 |
| [11:46] | The spider communities are at war. | 两个蜘蛛团伙正在大战呢 |
| [11:49] | Han, I can’t clean. | 阿憨 我没空打扫 |
| [11:50] | I’m in the middle of ruining someone’s marriage. | 我正忙着处理破坏别人婚姻的事呢 |
| [11:53] | Then, Max, please. Things are escalating quickly. | 那拜托你了 麦克斯 战事正急速加剧 |
| [11:56] | There was a discarded piece of ham, | 因为有一块掉在地上的火腿 |
| [11:58] | and apparently both kingdoms thought it was theirs. | 现在两国都认为那是它们的 |
| [12:02] | Oh, no takers? | 没人要去吗 |
| [12:05] | All right, enough with all this texting. | 好吧 看来发短信没什么用 |
| [12:06] | I need to stop this. | 我得阻止这件事 |
| [12:07] | I have to go over to his place tomorrow | 我明天就去他家 |
| [12:09] | and tell him face to face. | 面对面跟他说清楚 |
| [12:10] | Tell him face to face? | 面对面跟他说 |
| [12:12] | I don’t even have sex face to face. | 姐连做爱都不面对面做好吗 |
| [12:18] | I hope Nicolas takes my breaking it off with him okay, | 但愿尼可拉斯能接受我斩断情丝这件事 |
| [12:21] | Because in my fantasy when I told him, | 因为在我与他分手的幻想中 |
| [12:22] | he wouldn’t take no for an answer, | 他不愿意接受我跟他分手 |
| [12:23] | bought me a plane, | 还给我买了架飞机 |
| [12:24] | and I gave Jennifer Lawrence a ride home. | 我就用飞机送了詹妮弗·劳伦斯回家 |
| [12:27] | In my fantasy, | 在我的幻想中 |
| [12:28] | a talking dragon gave me a cape | 一条会说话的龙给了我一条 |
| [12:30] | that belonged to Jesus. | 属于耶稣的披风 |
| [12:32] | But that’s probably because I took too many | 不过可能是因为我早些时候 |
| [12:34] | of Deke’s vicodin earlier. | 吃了太多迪克的维柯丁 |
| [12:38] | The lobby told me you were on your way up. | 楼下管理员说了你要上来 |
| [12:40] | Caroline, I did not expect you. | 卡洛琳 我真没料到你会来 |
| [12:42] | But you knew I’d be coming? | 所以你料的是我来吗 |
| [12:45] | We need to talk, and Max is here for moral support. | 我们需要谈一谈 麦克斯是来给我打气的 |
| [12:47] | I know how this works by now. | 我已经知道她的作用了 |
| [12:49] | Come in. | 进来吧 |
| [12:50] | Okay, how do I put this? | 好吧 我该怎么说呢 |
| [12:52] | How do I put this? | 我该怎么说呢 |
| [12:53] | Nicolas, I came here today to tell you… | 尼可拉斯 我今天来是要告诉你 |
| [12:58] | To not do that. | 不要这样做 |
| [13:01] | But why? I want you so much. | 为什么 我超级想要你 |
| [13:03] | Okay, you– you don’t want me. | 不是的 你才不想要我 |
| [13:04] | You don’t even really know me. | 你根本不了解我 |
| [13:06] | I do. | 我了解你 |
| [13:07] | You’re sexy and funny and pretty and smart. | 你性感风趣 漂亮聪明 |
| [13:10] | Okay, you know me a little. | 好吧 你是有那么点了解我 |
| [13:12] | Look, I am not the type of person who breaks up marriages. | 我不是那种会破坏人家婚姻的女人 |
| [13:15] | No, she’s the “almost” girl. | 对 她是那种”差一点”女孩 |
| [13:17] | She almost breaks up marriages. | 她只差一点破坏别人婚姻 |
| [13:19] | Yes, yes, that’s who I am. | 对 没错 我就是那种人 |
| [13:21] | So I don’t want you to make that call | 所以我不想你打给你老婆 |
| [13:22] | and break up with your wife over Skype. | 然后通过视频聊天跟你老婆离婚 |
| [13:24] | I am not breaking up with her over Skype. | 我不会在视频聊天时跟她提离婚 |
| [13:26] | Okay, great, perfect. No Skype. | 好 非常好 那就不视频 |
| [13:29] | No. | 不视频 |
| [13:30] | Because that’s her in the lobby. | 因为现在在大堂按铃的就是她 |
| [13:33] | I’m breaking up with her in person. | 我要当面跟她说离婚 |
| [13:48] | Oh, my God, that’s your wife in the lobby? | 我的老天 按铃那个是你老婆吗 |
| [13:50] | Your wife is here? | 你老婆来了吗 |
| [13:52] | What are we gonna do? | 我们应该怎么办 |
| [13:53] | Calm down. I can fix this. | 冷静 我能搞定 |
| [13:54] | You need a fake mustache, a fistful of paprika, | 给我一撮假胡子 一把辣椒粉 |
| [13:57] | and a new passport. | 和一本新护照 |
| [13:58] | If you don’t have all three of those things, | 如果这三样东西不全 |
| [13:59] | I can make it work with two, | 只有两样也行 |
| [14:00] | as long as one of them is a mustache. | 但假胡子一定要有 |
| [14:04] | There’s no other way out. | 这里没有其他出口 |
| [14:06] | Come on, Max, we have to get out of here now. | 快点 麦克斯 我们得马上离开这 |
| [14:08] | Oh, oh, yeah, and, uh, | 对了 还有 |
| [14:09] | don’t leave your wife for me. | 不要因为我而跟你老婆离婚 |
| [14:10] | Whatever we had, it’s over. | 我们到此为止 |
| [14:12] | Oh, and… | 还有 |
| [14:13] | this shouldn’t reflect badly on me in school, | 这事不应该拖累我在学校的表现 |
| [14:15] | ’cause I worked hard for that c-minus. | 老娘废了半天劲才得到那个C-呢 |
| [14:17] | Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. | 先别走 站住站住 |
| [14:20] | Okay, but only because she just got out of the elevator. | 好吧 不过是因为她刚出了电梯 |
| [14:23] | She can’t find me here. I can’t be this girl. | 不能被她发现我在这里 我不能成为这种女人 |
| [14:25] | I don’t want to be the whore he’s leaving her for. | 我不能成为破坏他们婚姻的婊子 |
| [14:27] | That’s my favorite Dr. Seuss book. | 那是我最喜欢苏斯博士的一本书 |
| [14:27] | 美国二十世纪最卓越的儿童文学作家之一 | |
| [14:31] | Caroline, what are you saying? | 卡洛琳 你这话是什么意思 |
| [14:32] | You were just leading me on this whole time? | 难道一直以来你都在误导我吗 |
| [14:35] | Hold it, Pepe Le Pew. | 别这么说 法国臭鼬 |
| [14:38] | And, yes, I’ve been saving that one for after finals. | 没错 我一直等考完试才敢这么叫你 |
| [14:41] | It is not just Caroline. | 不能全赖卡洛琳 |
| [14:42] | You’re been chasing after her harder than a fat kid | 你追她比滚动甜甜圈大赛中 |
| [14:44] | in a Rolling Doughnut contest. | 追着甜甜圈的小胖仔还紧 |
| [14:47] | – That’s true. – Wait, wait, Caroline. | -没错 -等等 卡洛琳 |
| [14:49] | Do we still have a shot or not? | 我和你到底还有没有可能 |
| [14:51] | No. | 没可能 |
| [14:51] | Then better go hide in the bathroom. | 那你最好赶紧躲进浴室 |
| [14:53] | I don’t want this screwing up my marriage. | 我可不想为此而婚姻破裂 |
| [14:55] | What? | 什么 |
| [14:57] | Well, if you’re not going to be with me, | 如果你不打算跟我在一起 |
| [14:59] | I’m going to have to stay with my wife. | 那我干嘛要离开我老婆 |
| [15:01] | I mean, I’m a man. I cannot be alone. | 我可是个血气方刚的男人 离不开女人 |
| [15:03] | Now, go, go, go. | 赶紧躲起来 |
| [15:04] | She cannot find you here in our apartment. | 不能被她发现你在我公寓里 |
| [15:06] | Why don’t you just tell her the truth, | 你干嘛不直接告诉她 |
| [15:07] | that nothing happened between us? | 咱俩之间是清白的 |
| [15:09] | She will not believe me. | 她不会相信的 |
| [15:10] | I have a history. | 因为我有前科 |
| [15:11] | There are two of us here. | 可这里有两个人呢 |
| [15:13] | I also have that history. | 我也有那种前科 |
| [15:17] | Nicolas, c’est moi. | 尼可拉斯 是我 |
| [15:19] | Now go, please. | 拜托你赶紧走 |
| [15:20] | That’s the least you can do after ruining my life. | 你都要毁掉我人生了 赶紧行行好吧 |
| [15:22] | Almost. Almost ruined your life. | 是差一点 差一点就毁掉你的人生 |
| [15:24] | Come on, Max. | 快走 麦克斯 |
| [15:25] | This is totally inconvenient. | 这场面真是太让我为难了 |
| [15:28] | My “C” better go up to a “B.” | 你最好把我的分数从C提到B |
| [15:35] | This is crazy, us hiding in a married man’s bathroom | 太没下限了 我们居然像两个廉价妓女 |
| [15:38] | like a couple of cheap floozies. | 躲在已婚男人的浴室里 |
| [15:40] | So far, I’m just hearing a factual depiction | 到目前为止 我听见的只是 |
| [15:43] | of what’s happening here. | 你对事实的陈述 |
| [15:45] | Let me see what’s going on. | 我去看看什么情况 |
| [15:54] | I can’t understand them. | 完全听不懂 |
| [15:55] | I thought you spoke French. | 我以为你懂法语呢 |
| [15:57] | Only enough to impress Americans. | 只能在美国人面前显摆 |
| [16:00] | Je dois utiliser les toilettes. | 我要去厕所[法语] |
| [16:02] | Oh, my god. Les toilettes. | 天啊 厕所 |
| [16:04] | Les toilettes, that’s where we are. | 她说的就是这里 |
| [16:06] | She’s coming in here! What should we do? | 她要进来了 我们该怎么办 |
| [16:09] | Pretend we’re hot plumbers? | 假装我们是性感的水管工吗 |
| [16:11] | Hide in the shower. | 快躲进淋浴间里 |
| [16:19] | I think she might notice us. | 我觉得她会看见我们呢 |
| [16:24] | You know that’s all glass, right? | 你们知道这全是玻璃吧 |
| [16:27] | Let me just get you a clean hand towel. | 我给你拿个干净的擦手毛巾 |
| [16:29] | She has to pee-pee. | 她要尿尿 |
| [16:31] | She can’t come in here to use the toilet, | 她不能进来用马桶 |
| [16:32] | ’cause my life is in it. | 因为我屎一般的人生先占了 |
| [16:35] | I know, this is unfortunate. | 我知道 这真是太不幸了 |
| [16:36] | So go out the window. | 那你们从窗户走吧 |
| [16:38] | What? | 你说什么 |
| [16:39] | It’s not a problem. | 没问题的 |
| [16:41] | There’s a ledge wide enough for you to walk | 外面有个足够宽的窗沿 你们可以从那 |
| [16:43] | to the neighbor’s terrace, jump, and get away. | 走到邻居家的阳台 然后跳过去逃走 |
| [16:46] | Stephanie did it. | 斯蒂芬妮就这么做 |
| [16:48] | Who’s Stephanie? | 斯蒂芬妮是谁 |
| [16:49] | That’s…not important. | 那不重要 |
| [16:51] | She’s fine. | 重要的是她人没事 |
| [16:54] | Now go. You have to go. | 快走 你们必须得离开 |
| [16:56] | Unless you think you and I still have a shot. | 除非你觉得我们之间还有可能 |
| [16:58] | I’ll be on the ledge. | 我现在就上窗沿 |
| [17:04] | Come on, Max. | 快点 麦克斯 |
| [17:05] | No way, not happening, Lucy. | 不要 不可能 露西 |
| [17:08] | If he loses his bad marriage, | 如果他失去这段烂婚姻 |
| [17:10] | I’m responsible. | 那我就是凶手 |
| [17:11] | Almost. Almost responsible. | 差一点 差一点就是凶手 |
| [17:14] | Max, I wouldn’t even be in this situation | 麦克斯 如果不是为了把你弄进烘培学校 |
| [17:16] | if I wasn’t working with him to | 我就不用跟他一起工作 |
| [17:17] | put you through pastry school. | 更不会沦落在今天这个田地 |
| [17:19] | Oh, so this is my fault? | 所以怪我咯 |
| [17:20] | Max, please just let it be your fault. | 麦克斯 你就当是你的错吧 |
| [17:29] | It’s completely doable. | 完全是可行的 |
| [17:31] | By the way, it’s raining. | 对了 外面在下雨呢 |
| [17:33] | Come on. We can do this. | 走吧 我们可以的 |
| [17:35] | We’ve crawled 15 feet on our roof | 我们在家楼顶爬上15英尺高 |
| [17:36] | to get illegal cable. | 就为了偷电视信号 |
| [17:38] | Yeah, for the Breaking Bad finale! | 那是为了看《绝命毒师》的最终集 |
| [17:41] | Something worth dying for! | 就算摔死也在所不惜 |
| [17:47] | Oh, my God, are you insane? | 天啊 你疯了吗 |
| [17:49] | Get back in here! | 快进来 |
| [17:51] | Max, maybe you’re right. | 麦克斯 或许你是对的 |
| [17:52] | We should’ve taken the hot plumber route. | 我们应该用性感水管工的那招 |
| [17:55] | I’m coming back. | 我现在就回去 |
| [17:58] | My legs won’t go! | 我的腿吓得走不动了 |
| [17:59] | Max, help me back! | 麦克斯 拉我回去 |
| [18:01] | Damn it. Damn it, bitch. | 妈的 我恨死你了 贱人 |
| [18:09] | She’s in the bathroom. | 她进厕所了 |
| [18:13] | Oh, she closed the window. | 她把窗户关上了 |
| [18:14] | and she locked it. So go. | 而且还锁上了 现在没回头路了 |
| [18:17] | Go, go! | 往前走吧 |
| [18:19] | If Stephanie did it, we can too. | 如果斯蒂芬妮能做到 我们也能 |
| [18:21] | I can’t believe we’re up here all because of him. | 真不敢相信因为他 我们得”铤而走险” |
| [18:24] | I am such a bad judge of character. | 我看人真是没眼光 |
| [18:26] | Of course you are. I’m your best friend. | 废话 看你选我当你最好的朋友就知道 |
| [18:29] | Max, I’m sorry. This is bad. | 麦克斯 对不起 这真是太惨了 |
| [18:32] | Well, at least it can’t get any worse, unless we fall. | 至少不会更惨了 除非我们摔下去 |
| [18:36] | Oh! Or it starts to hail! | 或者开始下冰雹 |
| [18:38] | Ow! Ow! Hurts like “hail!” | 哎哟 砸”雹”老娘了 |
| [18:40] | It’s clear! Come on! | 他们走了 快走 |
| [18:42] | – I don’t wanna die! – Me neither! | -我不想死 -我也是 |
| [18:46] | That’s weird. | 真是奇了怪了 |
| [18:47] | For the first time in my life, I don’t want to die. | 我人生中第一次不想死 |
| [18:50] | I have a boyfriend and my first “B.” | 我有了男朋友和我人生第一个”B” |
| [18:52] | Oh, God, I’m getting soft! | 妈的 老娘内心变柔软了 |
| [18:53] | I can’t die! I haven’t made my comeback yet. | 我不能死 我还没东山再起呢 |
| [18:56] | In my fantasy, you and I move into that penthouse | 我还幻想着 咱俩会搬进我从詹妮弗·劳伦斯 |
| [18:59] | I bought from Jennifer Lawrence. | 那里买来的的顶层公寓 |
| [19:00] | Right over there, with the roof garden, see? | 还有屋顶花园哦 就在那边 看见了吗 |
| [19:09] | Are you two all right? | 你们俩没事吧 |
| [19:10] | I mean, whoever you are. | 虽然我不认识你俩 |
| [19:14] | Am I dead? | 我死了吗 |
| [19:16] | Almost. Almost dead. | 差一点 差一点就死了 |
| [19:24] | Oh, my God. | 我的老天爷 |
| [19:27] | What happened to you two? | 你们俩怎么搞的 |
| [19:29] | Well, we crashed through a window. | 我们撞破了一扇窗 |
| [19:31] | It was pretty dope. | 超屌的 |
| [19:33] | It was kinda like a Die Hard movie, | 有点像电影《虎胆龙威》 |
| [19:34] | if they ever let girls do cool stuff in those movies. | 如果他们在电影里也让女人耍酷的话 |
| [19:38] | The necks all right? | 脖子还好吗 |
| [19:39] | We have whiplash, and I have some bruises on my back. | 我们颈部扭伤了 我背部也受伤了 |
| [19:41] | Max took the brunt of the fall but feels nothing | 麦克斯摔得最重 不过她不觉得疼 |
| [19:43] | because she’s mostly made of vicodin. | 因为她体内主要成分是维柯丁 |
| [19:47] | Well, I’m glad you survived, | 很高兴你没事 |
| [19:48] | because I don’t know what I would do | 因为如果你不在我身边 |
| [19:50] | without you around here. | 我不知道该如何是好 |
| [19:51] | Aw, thanks, Earl. | 这话真窝心 厄尔 |
| [19:54] | I meant you. | 其实我指的是你 |
| [19:57] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [20:00] | Max, how were you ever strong enough | 麦克斯 你怎么会这么有劲 |
| [20:02] | to hold me up with one arm? | 用一只手就把我拉回来 |
| [20:03] | It’s the arm I used to drag my mother | 我小时候就经常用那只手 |
| [20:05] | out of bars with as a baby. | 把我妈从酒吧里拽出来 |
| [20:08] | Well, I want to say something to you. | 我有话要对你说 |
| [20:11] | I hope you know that if you were the one | 我想让你知道 如果在窗沿 |
| [20:13] | that slipped on that ledge– | 滑倒的那个人是你 |
| [20:14] | I would be dead. | 我肯定就死了吧 |
| [20:18] | Well, I’m glad that’s out in the open. | 很高兴你能明白这个道理 |
| [20:21] | Hey, everybody! | 各位安安 |
| [20:22] | I have an update about my life! | 我有近况要通报 |
| [20:28] | What happened to you two? | 你们俩怎么搞的 |
| [20:30] | Sophie, we had an accident. It’s a long story. | 苏菲 我们发生了意外 说来话长啊 |
| [20:33] | Yeah, all of yours are. | 你的故事都很长 |
| [20:37] | Well, I’m out of the movie business. | 我要退出电影圈 |
| [20:40] | I broke up with my bigwig from Miramax. | 我跟电影公司的的那位大假发分手了 |
| [20:43] | We got in a huge fight, | 我们大吵了一架 |
| [20:45] | And he threw his big wig at me. | 他还拿他的大假发扔我 |
| [20:48] | He told me I’d never eat lunch in this town again. | 他警告我永远别想在这城市里吃上午饭 |
| [20:52] | And I said, | 而我说 |
| [20:55] | “Hey, if I’m in town, | “如果我在市里 |
| [20:56] | I’m eating lunch, baby!” | 姐饿了就会去午饭 宝贝” |
| [21:01] | Oh, no. No, no, no, | 不是吧 甭装了 |
| [21:03] | I don’t have spider bites over half my body | 我全身到处被蜘蛛咬得遍体鳞伤 |
| [21:05] | so you two could fake another injury. | 不是为了让你们俩能继续装病的 |
| [21:08] | Nice try. | 想得美 |
| [21:12] | Ooh, I’ll bet that hurts. | 一定很疼吧 |