| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Hey, I’m sleeping at Deke’s house tonight. | 我今晚要在迪克家过夜 |
| [00:04] | Wink, wink, winky-wink. | 眨眼 眨眼 你懂的 |
| [00:06] | Deke’s house? You mean your boyfriend’s dumpster? | 迪克家 你是指他那个垃圾箱吗 |
| [00:10] | Yeah. So I need a, uh– | 是啊 所以我需要… |
| [00:12] | Tetanus shot? | 打破伤风疫苗吗 |
| [00:14] | Higher standards? | 还是提高择偶标准 |
| [00:16] | No, a condom. | 都不是 是要个套套 |
| [00:18] | I’m about to have sex, and I want it to feel bad. | 我今晚要跟他做爱 我想要过程不舒服 |
| [00:21] | I should have one in my purse from the last time I had sex. | 我上次做爱后 我包里好像还有剩避孕套 |
| [00:24] | They had purses the last time you had sex? | 你上次做爱时 世上就有包包了吗 |
| [00:27] | No, we carried animal hides tied with sticks. | 还没呢 我们用棍子绑住动物皮当包用 |
| [00:30] | It hasn’t been that long. | 没有这么久啦 |
| [00:31] | Oh, here’s one next to this movie ticket stub from Precious. | 这有一个 旁边还有《珍爱》的电影票存根 |
| [00:37] | Okay, it’s been that long. | 好啦 是很久了 |
| [00:39] | You saw Precious without a condom? | 你看《珍爱》的时候居然没戴套啊 |
| [00:42] | It says, “Best if used before september 2012.” | 上面写着”最佳使用日期为2012年9月前” |
| [00:46] | Just like the milk here. | 就跟店里的牛奶一样 |
| [00:48] | I wish I knew a guy with a condom. | 真希望我有认识有带套套的男人 |
| [00:56] | A man, any man. | 男人 是男人就行 |
| [01:00] | Oleg, do you happen to have– | 奥列格 你身上有带… |
| [01:07] | Okay, this should get you through the night. | 好 这些应该够你今晚用了 |
| [01:09] | But if it doesn’t, you can use this freezer bag | 但如果不够 可以用这个冷藏袋 |
| [01:11] | and a rubber band. | 然后用橡皮筋绑上 |
| [01:16] | 打工 | |
| [01:16] | 打工 | |
| [01:30] | Max, I laid out the little cups, | 麦克斯 我把小杯子都摆好了 |
| [01:31] | so all you have to do is fill them with cole slaw. | 你只需要把沙拉装进去就行了 |
| [01:33] | Said the girl who was on the Forbes | 这话居然从曾被福布斯评为 |
| [01:35] | “Top ten to watch” list. | “值得关注的十大新星”的人口中说出 |
| [01:38] | I can’t do my side work tonight. | 今晚我干不了这些杂活 |
| [01:39] | Normally I’d say it’s because I’m drunk, | 通常我会说是因为太醉 |
| [01:41] | but tonight it’s because my back hurts and I’m drunk. | 但今晚是因为我又背痛又太醉 |
| [01:45] | Here, babe, I got you something | 宝贝 我有个能帮你 |
| [01:46] | that might help your back feel better. | 减缓背部疼痛的东西 |
| [01:47] | A breast reduction? | 缩胸手术吗 |
| [01:50] | No! | 别啊 |
| [01:55] | Why would you spit in the face of God? | 你为什么要糟蹋上帝的杰作呢 |
| [01:59] | Everybody, calm down. | 大家冷静 |
| [02:01] | Those aren’t going anywhere. | 这对胸器哪也不会去 |
| [02:02] | And if they are, I am going with them. | 如果它们真要走 我也会跟着它们走 |
| [02:05] | I got some cooling patches to soothe her muscles. | 我这有些退热贴可以让她舒缓肌肉酸痛 |
| [02:08] | And when that doesn’t work, | 如果不管用 |
| [02:10] | I have another brand called “Maui wowie.” | 我有另一牌叫”哒嘛”的可以用 |
| [02:14] | Pickup. | 上菜 |
| [02:15] | – I’ll see you later. Love you. – Love you. | -晚点见 爱你 -我也爱你 |
| [02:18] | Deke, breath. What is that? | 迪克 你嘴里那是什么味道 |
| [02:20] | Teriyaki beef jerky. Why, is it bad? | 照烧牛肉干味 很难闻吗 |
| [02:23] | No. Give me another hit. | 不会 再给我香一个 |
| [02:28] | That is delicious. | 真好吃啊 |
| [02:31] | You know it. | 必须的 |
| [02:37] | Max, since you guys are getting serious, | 麦克斯 既然你们认真要谈恋爱 |
| [02:39] | why not go on the pill, | 干嘛不直接吃事前避孕药 |
| [02:40] | so every night you won’t have to play | 这样你就不用每晚都玩 |
| [02:41] | “What can we turn into a condom?” | “来找还有啥能当避孕套”的游戏了 |
| [02:44] | The pill is, like, 50 bucks a month. | 避孕药一个月分量的好像要50块 |
| [02:46] | That’s more than it costs to raise a damn baby. | 那他妈的比养个娃还贵呢 |
| [02:50] | Well, your boyfriend’s rich. He can afford to pay for it. | 你的男朋友这么有钱 他付得起 |
| [02:53] | Great, now I’m a white trash mom. | 我这下成了白人穷鬼无良妈了 |
| [02:57] | Uh-uh, no way. | 不要 |
| [02:59] | I’m saving Deke’s fortune for more important things, | 我要把迪克的钱留在更重要的事物上 |
| [03:01] | Like Doritos Dinamita. | 像是多力多滋的辣味薯条 |
| [03:04] | Pretty much the filet mignon of corn chips. | 那算是玉米饼界里的至尊了吧 |
| [03:07] | I mean, I’d be on the pill right now, | 我巴不得开始吃那个药呢 |
| [03:09] | but the one man interested in me is married, | 可惜现在唯一对我有兴趣的男人结婚了 |
| [03:11] | so I guess that’s more of a bitter pill. | 所以我现在能吃上的只有苦药吧 |
| [03:14] | – Seriously, Max. Think about it. – Fine. | -说认真的 麦克斯 考虑考虑 -好吧 |
| [03:16] | Why don’t guys have to take the pill? | 为什么需要吃药的都不是男人 |
| [03:18] | We have to take all the pills. Birth control, midol, roofies… | 什么药都得是女人吃 避孕药 经痛药 迷奸药 |
| [03:24] | Bonjour, Caroline. | 你好 卡洛琳 |
| [03:25] | Chef Nicolas. What are you doing in the diner? | 尼可拉斯大厨 你来餐厅干嘛 |
| [03:28] | Oh, no, I never wanted you to see me wearing this. | 天啊 我可不想被你看见我穿这制服 |
| [03:31] | Yeah, so be a gentleman and take a step back, | 所以麻烦你绅士点 往后退一步好吗 |
| [03:33] | ’cause as bad as it looks, it smells worse. | 因为这衣服不仅样子难看 味道更难闻 |
| [03:37] | I think you look beautiful. | 我觉得你看起来很美 |
| [03:38] | Your wife looks beautiful. | 你老婆看起来才美呢 |
| [03:41] | Oh, yeah. Get it, girl. | 行啊 姑娘 上 |
| [03:46] | May I see you alone over there in the, uh… | 聊一会儿行吗 就在… |
| [03:48] | I guess one would call it a restaurant? | 某些人称之为”餐厅”的地方 |
| [03:51] | But just for a minute. I’m working. | 就给你一分钟 我还在上班呢 |
| [03:53] | What’s that smell? | 那是什么味道啊 |
| [03:54] | That’s today’s special. Beef pot pie. | 那是今日特别套餐 牛肉派 |
| [03:57] | Oh, it doesn’t smell like beef. | 但闻起来不像牛肉啊 |
| [03:58] | That’s because it’s not beef, | 因为不是牛肉做的 |
| [03:59] | It’s not made today, and it’s not special. | 也不是今日做的 而且一点也不特别 |
| [04:04] | Listen, Caroline. | 卡洛琳 你听我说 |
| [04:05] | We have all this relationship drama, | 虽然我们的关系如同恋爱那般大起大落 |
| [04:07] | and we’re not even in a relationship. | 但我们根本没有在谈恋爱 |
| [04:08] | Please get to know me better. | 我希望你能更深入地了解我 |
| [04:11] | Come to my home for dinner. | 来我家吃顿晚饭吧 |
| [04:12] | Dinner at your home, just you and me? | 去你家吃晚饭 就我们俩吗 |
| [04:15] | How do you think your wife would feel about that? | 你觉得你老婆会怎么想呢 |
| [04:16] | We have an open relationship. | 我跟她是开放式的关系 |
| [04:18] | Did you think I’m the type of man | 你觉得我是那种 |
| [04:20] | who would have sex with another woman | 会偷偷跟其他女人做爱 |
| [04:22] | without asking my wife? | 而不先问过我老婆的人吗 |
| [04:25] | That is so American. | 美国人才那么搞好吗 |
| [04:29] | – Max? – Why are you calling Max? | -麦克斯 -你叫麦克斯干嘛 |
| [04:31] | I want to make sure I haven’t lost my mind. | 我想确认一下我还没疯 |
| [04:33] | Nicolas said he told his wife about me, | 尼可拉斯说他跟他老婆说了我 |
| [04:35] | and she gave him permission for us to sleep together. | 而他老婆同意我跟他上床 |
| [04:38] | Ha! Good one! | 高招 |
| [04:41] | My boss at Quiznos once told me his wife’s dying wish | 我以前打工的快餐店老板说 他老婆的遗愿 |
| [04:44] | was that I let him motorboat me. | 是我让他用脸蹭我的胸 |
| [04:49] | Okay, so she may have been motorboated out of Quiznos. | 她可能被快餐店老板蹭过胸 |
| [04:52] | But I am not falling for this. | 但我不信你这套 |
| [04:54] | Yes, I thought you wouldn’t believe me, | 我猜到你会不相信我了 |
| [04:56] | So I set up a Skype call with her from France on Friday. | 所以我跟她约好周五你们两个视频聊天 |
| [05:00] | Wait, you want me to Skype with your wife about sex? | 等等 你要我跟你老婆视频谈跟你上床的事吗 |
| [05:03] | Am I on Dr. Phil? | 我现在是在访谈节目上吗 |
| [05:06] | Hey, everybody. | 大家安安 |
| [05:12] | I got a new dress, and it’s bitchin’. | 我买了件屌爆的新连衣裙 |
| [05:18] | Hey, look at him. Oh. | 快瞧瞧他 |
| [05:23] | Nobody told me they added beefcake to the menu. | 没人告诉我菜单上新加了牛肉饼[猛男]啊 |
| [05:28] | Excuse me, beefcake has been on the menu | 不好意思 菜单上猛男这道菜 |
| [05:30] | since I started working here. | 在我开始在这上班后就加上了 |
| [05:38] | Finally… | 终于啊 |
| [05:39] | There’s somebody in the diner as good-looking as me. | 餐厅里终于有跟我一样秀色可餐的人了 |
| [05:45] | Hi, I’m Sophie Kuchenski. | 你好 我叫苏菲·科臣斯基 |
| [05:47] | Nicolas Saintcroix. | 尼可拉斯·圣克罗伊 |
| [05:50] | And he’s French too? | 而且他还是法国人吗 |
| [05:52] | Oh, come on! | 太棒了吧 |
| [05:56] | I’m sorry, I was in the middle of a conversation with Caroline. | 抱歉 我刚才跟卡洛琳还没说完呢 |
| [06:04] | Who? | 谁啊 |
| [06:06] | Me, the one whose feet you’re standing on. | 我 那个脚正被你踩着的人 |
| [06:10] | Oh, wait a minute. | 等等 |
| [06:12] | Is this the married guy? | 他就是那个已婚男人吗 |
| [06:15] | Oh, girl! | 行啊 老妹 |
| [06:19] | I’m gonna give you two days’ head start, and then he’s mine! | 姐先让你两天 之后他就是我的囊中物了 |
| [06:37] | Why do you care what his wife thinks about your hair? | 你干嘛要在意她老婆觉得你头发如何啊 |
| [06:39] | You’re not gonna be sleeping with her. | 你又不是要跟她睡 |
| [06:41] | Although you’d be a lot more interesting if you did. | 虽然说你跟她睡会更让你变得更有趣 |
| [06:44] | I’m not gonna be sleeping with him either. | 我也不会跟他睡 |
| [06:46] | And when I tell his wife that, I want to look good doing it. | 我希望我告诉他老婆这件事时 我能美美地说 |
| [06:49] | I have to look 20% better than her. | 我得比她好看两成 |
| [06:51] | And since Skype makes you look 20% worse, | 而人在视频上会丑个两成 |
| [06:53] | I have to look 40% better than I do now. | 所以我得比现在好看四成才行啊 |
| [06:56] | You realize talking about math in a hair salon | 你知道在发廊里跟我聊数学 |
| [06:58] | is my worst nightmare, right? | 是我最大的恶梦对吧 |
| [07:01] | Welcome to the Tristan Evans salon. | 欢迎来到本发廊 |
| [07:03] | Hi, hello. We’re here for the… student haircut. | 你好 我们是来做… 学生剪发的 |
| [07:08] | I’m sorry? | 再说一遍 |
| [07:09] | The $6 haircuts for poor people | 6块钱的穷人剪发 |
| [07:11] | from the people who don’t really know how to cut hair yet. | 让也还不是很会剪头发的人剪的那种 |
| [07:14] | Max, that’s not true. This is the Tristan Evans salon. | 麦克斯 才不会呢 这发廊很出名呢 |
| [07:17] | I’m sure that everyone that’s enrolled here is a genius. | 我相信会在这里学习的都是天才美发师 |
| [07:19] | At least tell me they’re gay. | 他们至少都是基男吧 |
| [07:22] | Just have a seat over there. | 请你们到一旁就座 |
| [07:23] | I’ll have somebody come up from the hair school and– shh! | 我会让美发学校部的人上来… |
| [07:25] | So loud. | 小声点 |
| [07:28] | Hair school. Got it. | 美发学校部 没问题 |
| [07:29] | We’ll just take a seat over there till they arrive. | 我们会乖乖坐在一边等他们 |
| [07:33] | Girl, you just sit there, relax, | 妹儿 你就坐好 放轻松 |
| [07:35] | and let jameis make this head major. | 让我杰米丝来把你的头发弄得超霸气 |
| [07:38] | So weird, ’cause I majored in head. | 真巧 我主修[霸气]的就是头呢 |
| [07:42] | Girl, you are all everything. | 妹儿 你真是伶牙俐齿 |
| [07:47] | That’s a little cold. | 水温有点冷 |
| [07:48] | I’m sorry, what was your name again? | 抱歉 你叫什么名字来着 |
| [07:50] | Dan. | 丹 |
| [07:52] | Uh-huh. Dan? So just Dan? | 丹 就丹一个字吗 |
| [07:54] | You’re not, like, a Danny or a Dantrell? | 不是什么丹妮还是丹翠儿之类的吗 |
| [07:58] | Dan. | 就丹 |
| [08:00] | I need to get conditioner. | 我去拿点护发素 |
| [08:02] | Damn it, Max, I got a straight one. | 靠 麦克斯 我的美发师是直男 |
| [08:05] | What makes you think he’s straight? | 他哪里让你觉得他是直男了 |
| [08:07] | He keeps pushing my head down before I’m ready. | 我都没准备好 他就一直把我的头”按下去” |
| [08:12] | Is the water too warm? | 水会太温吗 |
| [08:14] | Why? Are my pants too wet? | 为啥问 我裤子尿太湿了吗 |
| [08:18] | Girl, are we in love? | 我真是爱死你了 |
| [08:21] | Max, I need you to give me your gay. | 麦克斯 把你的基男给我 |
| [08:23] | Yeah, right. | 你想得美 |
| [08:24] | I’d give you my left nut before I give you my gay. | 我把我左蛋蛋给你 也不给你我的基男 |
| [08:28] | You weren’t even gonna get your hair done. | 你本来都没想要弄头发 |
| [08:30] | Yeah, but I always wanted to know | 但我一直想知道 |
| [08:32] | what it felt like to get a shampoo | 被人上洗发水时 |
| [08:33] | without a school nurse running that tiny comb through my hair. | 不用被学校护士用细梳子梳头的感觉[头虱] |
| [08:38] | Dan? | 丹 |
| [08:39] | I have a magazine over there | 我那边的杂志上有张 |
| [08:40] | with a photo of a chic, piece-y, choppy bob. | 时尚又有棱角的短头发型图 |
| [08:43] | – You can do that, right? – Sure. | -你能弄那个发型对吧 -没问题 |
| [08:45] | Piece of bob. Got it. | 简单 棱角短 没问题 |
| [08:49] | – ‘sup? – Dan, Dan, Dan! | -姑娘不错哦 -丹 丹 |
| [08:55] | Okay, done. You’re ready to cut. | 好 洗完了 可以剪了 |
| [09:00] | Let’s go. I can’t risk some discount hetero cutting my hair. | 走吧 我可不想冒险让打折收费的直男剪头发 |
| [09:04] | I’ll see you at home. I’m pretty close to a hairgasm. | 我们家里见吧 我都快要头发高潮了 |
| [09:08] | That should’ve been mine. | 这本来应该是我的福利 |
| [09:09] | I haven’t had a hairgasm in years. | 我都几年没有过头发高潮了 |
| [09:11] | She hasn’t had any gasm in years. | 她这几年什么高潮都没有过 |
| [09:24] | Oh, my God! | 天啊 |
| [09:25] | Max, is that hair your new form of birth control? | 麦克斯 这发型是你的新”避孕措施”吗 |
| [09:29] | You look like Dame Edna. | 你看起来像是埃德娜夫人 |
| [09:31] | That’s what I asked for! | 我就是照着她的发型做的 |
| [09:34] | Hellooo! | 泥嚎啊 |
| [09:39] | Now my outside matches my inside | 现在我的外表终于与内心一致了 |
| [09:41] | because I’ve always been an old drag queen | 因为我的灵魂是个老年异装癖男 |
| [09:43] | trapped inside the body of a young black girl. | 被困在一个年轻黑妞的身躯里 |
| [09:50] | Hellooo! | 泥嚎啊 |
| [09:52] | Oh, hi, Max. | 你好啊 麦克斯 |
| [09:54] | Oh, I used to wear my hair like that. | 我以前也留过这发型 |
| [09:56] | I used it to smuggle cheese and cigarettes into the prison. | 是为了方便夹带起司跟香烟进监狱里 |
| [10:00] | Oh, hey, Caroline. | 卡洛琳 |
| [10:03] | Just checking. | 我就想确认一下 |
| [10:04] | Still not sleeping with that French guy | 还是不要跟我要”睡”的 |
| [10:06] | that I’m sleeping with? | 那个法国佬上床吗 |
| [10:08] | Still not, Sophie. He’s married. | 就是不要 苏菲 他结婚了 |
| [10:10] | Well, good. | 那就好 |
| [10:12] | ’cause I’m here to talk to that wife | 因为我是来跟他老婆谈的 |
| [10:13] | and throw my hoo-ha into the ring. | 人家的”洞洞”也要参赛 |
| [10:16] | I even bought myself a flat French hat | 我还买了一个法式贝雷帽 |
| [10:18] | to make me more French. | 好让自己更有法国味 |
| [10:20] | Yeah, I got me the hat | 另外 我买帽子的原因 |
| [10:21] | ’cause I didn’t have time to grow out my pits. | 是因为我不够时间留腋毛 |
| [10:27] | Okay, the call is in one minute. I’ll just do it from here. | 电话一分钟后就来了 我就坐这里说吧 |
| [10:29] | I was planning to be holding my Louis Vuitton shopping bag, | 我本来还打算提着我LV的购物袋呢 |
| [10:32] | but the cat took a dump in it. | 但那只猫在里面拉了屎 |
| [10:34] | And, Max, bring that lamp closer to my face, | 麦克斯 把那台灯拿靠近我脸一点 |
| [10:36] | So I don’t have eight Skype chins. | 这样视频上我不会看起来有八重下巴 |
| [10:38] | Fine, but if I get too close to the bulb, | 行 但如果我太靠近灯泡 |
| [10:40] | my hair might blow up. | 我的头会爆炸 |
| [10:43] | Here she is. | 她打来了 |
| [10:44] | Sophie, good-bye. | 苏菲 慢走不送 |
| [10:46] | Oh, no, I’m not leaving, baby. | 别想 我才不走呢 宝贝 |
| [10:48] | That French hottie and I are perfect for each other. | 那法国帅哥跟我是天造地设的一对 |
| [10:51] | I mean, look at me. | 你瞧姐 |
| [10:52] | I’m wearing a beret. I have a baguette. | 我戴着法式贝雷帽 包里还有法式长棍 |
| [10:56] | Bonjour, bitches! | 贱人们 姐来啦 |
| [11:00] | Okay, take a deep breath, and remember, this is ridiculous. | 深呼吸 然后别忘了 这事真是狗屁不通 |
| [11:08] | Bonjour, Caroline. | 你好 卡洛琳 |
| [11:09] | Bonjour. You must be Juliette. | 你好 你是朱丽叶吧 |
| [11:11] | It is nice to meet you. | 幸会幸会 |
| [11:12] | And you as well, Juliette. | 我也是 |
| [11:14] | I just want to set the record straight about Nicolas and I. | 我想先跟你声明尼可拉斯与我的事 |
| [11:16] | I am not the type of– | 我绝对不是那种… |
| [11:17] | Yes, you have my permission to sleep with Nicolas. | 可以 我同意你跟尼可拉斯上床 |
| [11:20] | Au revoir. | 再会 |
| [11:23] | That’s it? She’s gone? | 就这样啊 她这就挂了 |
| [11:25] | I didn’t even get to say “hos before bros” in French. | 我没来得及用法语说”姐妹至上 男人滚蛋” |
| [11:29] | So much more to say. | 人家还有很多话想说呢 |
| [11:31] | What more is there to say? | 还有什么好说的啊 |
| [11:32] | She said we could sleep with him. | 她都说我们可以跟他睡了 |
| [11:37] | No, I’m never sleeping with Nicolas, | 不 我绝对不会跟尼可拉斯睡 |
| [11:39] | no matter what his wife says. | 他老婆说什么都没用 |
| [11:41] | Good, ’cause you could never share a French guy. | 很好 因为你绝对不会跟人分享法国男人 |
| [11:43] | You won’t even share your French toast. | 你连法式吐司都不愿意跟人分享 |
| [11:55] | Thanks for coming. | 谢谢你们陪我来 |
| [11:56] | I promise, just one drink at Nicolas’s, | 我保证 在他家喝一杯就走 |
| [11:57] | and then we’ll go to the movies. | 然后我们一起去看电影 |
| [11:59] | And, Max, I can’t believe you went out with that hair in public. | 话说你居然真敢顶着这个发型出门 |
| [12:03] | I like it. | 我喜欢 |
| [12:03] | You look like my Aunt Esther, but not as hot. | 像我的艾斯特阿姨 只不过没她那么辣 |
| [12:08] | Oh, Caroline. | 卡洛琳 |
| [12:10] | I see you brought Deke and… | 你还邀请了迪克和… |
| [12:12] | Max’s mother? | 那位是麦克斯的母亲吗 |
| [12:15] | The only thing this hair and my mother have in common is | 这发型和我妈的唯一共同点 |
| [12:17] | they’re both high. | 就是吹”高”和嗑高[嗨] |
| [12:20] | Nicolas, I’m not staying. | 尼可拉斯 我不会久留 |
| [12:22] | I know you went to a lot of trouble with dinner, | 我知道你为这顿晚餐费了很多心思 |
| [12:23] | So I didn’t want to be rude, | 所以我也不想失礼 |
| [12:24] | but we can only stay for one drink. | 但我们喝一杯就要走了 |
| [12:26] | God, you look beautiful. | 天啊 你真漂亮 |
| [12:28] | Maybe two drinks. | 其实喝两杯也行 |
| [12:29] | But definitely no dinner. | 但绝对不留下来吃晚餐 |
| [12:34] | Well, that dinner we weren’t staying for was delicious. | 我们本不该留下来吃的这顿饭真是美味 |
| [12:38] | Yeah, we should not stay more often. | 是啊 我们应该多多”不久留” |
| [12:42] | I like your loft, man. | 我喜欢你的小阁楼 |
| [12:43] | It’s the perfect place to live | 这地方超级适合 |
| [12:45] | if you like to commit really sexy crimes. | 干一些激情四射的坏事 |
| [12:48] | Well, we should go. | 我们该走了 |
| [12:49] | No. You’re not staying for dessert? | 别 你不留下来吃甜点了吗 |
| [12:51] | You’re breaking my heart. | 这真让我伤心 |
| [12:53] | Well, maybe just one piece. We can share it. | 那就吃一块吧 我们可以分着吃 |
| [12:56] | [法语] | |
| [12:59] | I thought you didn’t want to share. | 我还以为你不喜欢跟人分享呢 |
| [13:01] | He’s not married to his dessert, Max, | 他又没跟他的甜点结婚 麦克斯 |
| [13:03] | And it’s just one piece. | 而且只是吃一块而已 |
| [13:05] | We’re here, so he doesn’t get a piece. | 我们来这的目的就是让他半点便宜都吃不着 |
| [13:09] | You got a pretty sweet setup for a married man who’s single. | 你这个已婚单身男人一条龙服务得挺到位 |
| [13:13] | Creme caramel au coconut cake. | 奶油焦糖椰子蛋糕 |
| [13:15] | Well, it’s no Fudgie the Whale. | 不是软糖鲸鱼蛋糕啊 |
| [13:18] | Thanks. | 多谢 |
| [13:19] | I love to cook for friends. | 我喜欢为朋友们做饭 |
| [13:21] | Beautiful friends. | 尤其是漂亮的朋友 |
| [13:24] | Nicolas, just because your wife gave me permission | 尼可拉斯 就算你老婆同意我这么做 |
| [13:26] | does not mean I’m gonna let you take me over | 也不意味着我会让你把我抱起来 |
| [13:28] | to that king-size bed with | 扔到那张床单看起来很有档次的 |
| [13:30] | what looks like really good sheets | 特大号双人床上 |
| [13:31] | and make love to me all night long. | 然后跟我疯狂做爱一整夜 |
| [13:34] | and then again that morning. | 直至早上也不停歇 |
| [13:37] | So how’s your back, Esther? | 你的背好点了吗 艾斯特 |
| [13:39] | Oh, Morty. | 莫蒂 |
| [13:40] | I have to tell you something. | 我有话要对你说 |
| [13:42] | Is it your heart? | 你的心脏不行了吗 |
| [13:44] | No, I’m on the pill. | 不是啦 是我在吃药 |
| [13:45] | I know. You’re on a lot of pills. | 我知道 你磕的药还不少呢 |
| [13:48] | No, a pill-pill. | 不是啦 是那个药 |
| [13:49] | The pill-pill-pill? | 传说中的那个药吗 |
| [13:51] | Yeah, see? | 是啊 你看 |
| [13:52] | You just pop ’em out one at a time. | 一弹开盖子 一颗药就会自动蹦出来 |
| [13:54] | They’re like pez for sluts. | 就像是给荡妇专用的糖豆 |
| [13:58] | Speaking of sluts… | 说到荡妇 |
| [14:04] | Oh, boy, this is awkward. | 天啊 这场面太尴尬了 |
| [14:06] | And I’ve testified against half my family. | 比我出庭作证指控自己半数家人还尴尬 |
| [14:10] | I agree, Max. | 我同意 麦克斯 |
| [14:11] | Things are a little uncomfortable. | 现在的场面是有点怪怪的 |
| [14:13] | So why don’t we just make this as weird as possible? | 所以我们何不让它变得更加奇怪呢 |
| [14:16] | Damn it, I knew he was gonna kill us. | 靠 我就知道他会杀我们灭口 |
| [14:23] | Tango, anyone? | 有人会跳探戈吗 |
| [14:25] | Honestly, I prefer if you kill us. | 老实说 我宁愿他杀了我们 |
| [14:28] | Okay, well, we gotta go, Esther. | 好了 我们该走了 艾斯特 |
| [14:31] | No, morty, sit down! I’m not missing the show. | 不行 莫蒂 给我坐下来看戏 |
| [14:34] | It comes with dinner. | 这是餐后表演呢 |
| [14:37] | Tango? Nicolas, you cannot be serious. | 探戈 尼可拉斯 你在开玩笑吗 |
| [14:39] | Oh, maybe you cannot dance, Caroline? | 你是不是不会跳舞啊 卡洛琳 |
| [14:42] | Can’t dance? | 怎么可能 |
| [14:43] | One summer, I taught ballroom dance to homeless teens. | 某年夏天 我曾教无家可归的青少年跳社交舞 |
| [14:47] | Because when you’re dancing, you’re not hungry? | 因为人在跳舞的时候 就不会觉得肚子饿吗 |
| [14:56] | Fast-forward. | 快进快进 |
| [14:57] | This is my least favorite part of the Addams Family. | 这是《亚当斯一家》里我最不喜欢的桥段 |
| [15:08] | – Look at his pants. – I know. | -你瞧他的裤裆 -看见啦 |
| [15:10] | That tango is giving him even less ball room. | 他的鸡鸡在裤裆的舞池里跟着起舞 |
| [15:16] | Stay. We don’t have to have sex. | 留下来 我们不一定非要做爱 |
| [15:19] | – We don’t? – I promise. | -可以吗 -我保证 |
| [15:22] | I have to go to the restroom, Max. So do you. | 我要去洗手间一趟 麦克斯 你也是 |
| [15:26] | Come in, come in, come in, come in, come in. | 进来 快进来 快进来 |
| [15:29] | Okay, where’s the coke? | 可卡因在哪儿 |
| [15:31] | There is no coke. | 没有可卡因 |
| [15:33] | Why would you call anyone into a bathroom if you don’t have coke? | 你没有可卡因 还把人叫进洗手间干屁啊 |
| [15:35] | That’s rude. | 真是太过分了 |
| [15:37] | No, I was just gonna talk to you. | 不是啦 我只是想跟你谈谈 |
| [15:39] | Oh, then I’m definitely gonna need coke. | 那我绝对要来点可卡因才听得进去 |
| [15:41] | Okay, look. You are not sleeping with him. | 听着 你不能跟他滚床单 |
| [15:44] | Of course not. | 当然不会 |
| [15:45] | But tonight I’m thinking there’s something special here. | 但今晚我觉得情况有些不一样 |
| [15:48] | I mean, we talked, and we laughed. | 我是说我们相谈甚欢 |
| [15:50] | What is this, “Previously on Caroline”? | 你这是干嘛 “卡洛琳前情回顾”吗 |
| [15:54] | If you guys are doing blow in here without me, | 如果你们俩扔下我 在里面嗑药 |
| [15:56] | I’m gonna be so pissed. | 我一定会非常生气的 |
| [16:00] | I wish. | 我倒想呢 |
| [16:01] | No, Caroline wants to have sex with Nicolas. | 不是啦 卡洛琳想跟尼可拉斯滚床单 |
| [16:04] | Even after that tango? | 跳了那探戈之后还这么想吗 |
| [16:06] | Listen, now I’m thinking I want to sleep over, | 听着 现在我是想留下来过夜 |
| [16:09] | but not have sex. | 但是绝不做爱 |
| [16:10] | Is that where he puts it in but doesn’t move it around? | 所以是让他放进去但是不动的意思吗 |
| [16:16] | That’s what I do when you’re passed out. | 每次你醉得不省人事 我就会这样 |
| [16:18] | That’s what I do when you’re passed out. | 每次你醉得不省人事 我也会这样 |
| [16:21] | Look, nothing is going in anywhere. | 绝不会有任何”东西”进”任何”地方” |
| [16:23] | I just want to get to know him better. | 我只是想多了解他一些 |
| [16:25] | You really think you can sleep in his bed with him | 你真的觉得你可以跟他睡在同一张床上 |
| [16:27] | – and not use his penis as a body pillow? – Of course. | -却不把他的鸡鸡当抱枕吗 -当然 |
| [16:31] | I’ve done that with every boy on the upper east side. | 我跟上东区的每一个男生都试过 |
| [16:34] | That’s why they called me the east side snuggler. | 所以他们称我为”东区抱抱员” |
| [16:38] | And trust me, | 相信我 |
| [16:39] | even though his wife begged me to have sex with him, | 即使他老婆求我让我跟他做爱 |
| [16:41] | I’m not going to. | 但我也不会这么做 |
| [16:42] | But didn’t you tell us the whole reason you dragged us here | 但你之前把我们拖来这的理由 |
| [16:45] | was because you were afraid of being alone with him? | 不是因为你害怕跟他独处吗 |
| [16:47] | What is this, “Previously on Caroline”? | 你这是干嘛 “卡洛琳前情回顾”吗 |
| [16:50] | Look, I get it. | 我懂你们的意思 |
| [16:51] | And if you two really don’t think I’m capable | 如果你们俩真的觉得 |
| [16:52] | of not having sex with him, | 我会把持不住的话 |
| [16:54] | then hang out for a bit until you’re sure that I’m fine. | 那你们可以待到觉得我可以了再走 |
| [16:57] | Fine, but we are not staying all night. | 可以 但我们不会在这耗一整晚的 |
| [17:06] | Here are some blankets for you, Max and Deke. | 麦克斯和迪克 这是给你们的毯子 |
| [17:08] | You can take the couch. | 你们可以睡沙发 |
| [17:09] | Caroline and I will take the bed. | 我和卡洛琳睡床 |
| [17:11] | Once again, our apologies. | 再次抱歉 是我们不好 |
| [17:14] | We are just too drunk to go. | 我们醉得走不了 |
| [17:16] | Too drunk! | 真是太醉了 |
| [17:18] | You did share that one glass of wine. | 你们俩才就分了一杯红酒 |
| [17:20] | Yup, we are too drunk. | 没错 我们都喝高了 |
| [17:23] | So too drunk to walk? | 所以醉到走不了路吗 |
| [17:26] | Well, I don’t know. You be the judge. | 我不知道 那你来判断下 |
| [17:32] | I am so sorry about this. | 我对此感到非常抱歉 |
| [17:34] | It’s fine, Caroline. | 没关系 卡洛琳 |
| [17:36] | I know what’s going on here. | 我知道这是怎么回事 |
| [17:37] | Oh, and, Nicolas, before you go, | 尼可拉斯 在你上床前 |
| [17:40] | I just wanted to say thanks again for the drinks, | 我想再次感谢你今晚的美酒 |
| [17:45] | the dinner, | 晚餐 |
| [17:47] | the dessert, | 甜点 |
| [17:49] | my pillow, | 我的枕头 |
| [17:51] | and Deke’s pillow. | 还有迪克的枕头 |
| [17:54] | We get it, grandma. Good night. | 我们懂你意思了 老古董 晚安 |
| [17:56] | We’ll be right over there. | 我们就睡在那边 |
| [17:57] | And I’ll be right over here. | 我就睡在这边 |
| [17:59] | Good night, sleep tight, | 晚安 好好睡 |
| [18:01] | don’t let the bedbugs have sex with you. | 千万不要让臭虫”钻进”你的身子里 |
| [18:06] | Uh, you and I are gonna do it, right? | 可是我会钻进你身子 对吧 |
| [18:08] | Oh, yeah. Think I took my pill this morning. | 当然 我今早应该吃药了 |
| [18:11] | Either that or I didn’t take my pill. | 不然就是我没吃 |
| [18:13] | Wow, Max, this is a big step | 麦克斯 你今天有或没有吃药 |
| [18:15] | that you may or may not have taken today. | 对我们的感情来说都算是垮了一大步呢 |
| [18:17] | You know if it’s too much trouble, | 如果太麻烦的话 |
| [18:18] | we don’t have to go off condoms. | 我们可以继续用避孕套啊 |
| [18:20] | So you’re the one guy in the world | 所以你就是当今世上那个 |
| [18:21] | who wants to still wear a condom? | 唯一想戴避孕套的男人吗 |
| [18:23] | Do you have something? | 你是不是有什么隐疾啊 |
| [18:25] | No, it’s not like that. | 不 才没有呢 |
| [18:26] | I’m just saying the pill is a big commitment. | 我只是觉得开始吃药是个很大的承诺 |
| [18:29] | Oh, so do you not want to take this step? | 所以你不想进展到这一步吗 |
| [18:31] | Because I already went to Planned Parenthood, | 因为我已经去过计划生育组织了 |
| [18:33] | and I never plan anything. | 而我从未”计划”过任何事呢 |
| [18:34] | – Max, I guess I’m just surprised– – Hold that thought. | -麦克斯 我只是有点意外 -等下再说 |
| [18:37] | – I hear nothing. – So? | -怎么没有声音 -那又怎样 |
| [18:40] | So that’s what Caroline sounds like during sex! | 卡洛琳做爱的时候就是没有声音 |
| [18:44] | Keep talking like I’m here. | 假装你在跟我说话 |
| [18:46] | Ah, oh, yeah, baby! | 太爽了 宝贝 |
| [18:51] | Right there! That’s the spot! | 那里 就是那里 |
| [18:53] | Yeah, now slap my face with ’em! | 现在把我脸按上去吧 |
| [18:58] | Well, if you were still here, that’s what I’d be saying. | 如果你在这 我就会说这种话啊 |
| [19:00] | I’m sorry, I’ll switch it up. | 抱歉啦 我换一下 |
| [19:02] | Uh, go fish, Max. | 上吧 麦克斯 |
| [19:07] | Max, what are you doing? | 麦克斯 你在干什么 |
| [19:08] | What are you doing? | 你们又在干什么 |
| [19:10] | We’re fine. | 我们没干嘛 |
| [19:11] | We’re just lying here talking. | 我们只是躺着说话而已 |
| [19:14] | No, we’re not. I’m really turned on. | 其实不是 老娘已经欲火焚身了 |
| [19:17] | Why? What’s he doing to you? | 为什么 他对你做什么了 |
| [19:19] | It’s not him, it’s me. I’m the predator here. | 不是他 是我自己 我是肉食女 |
| [19:22] | You were right. You better stop me. | 你说得对 你最好快阻止我 |
| [19:24] | Get up here with us. | 上来跟我们一起睡 |
| [19:25] | I’m not getting in bed with you. | 我才不要跟你同睡一张床 |
| [19:28] | Max, get in the bed. | 麦克斯 你上床睡吧 |
| [19:31] | I know a jaques-block when I see one. | 我这人很知情识趣的 |
| [19:34] | I am so sorry. | 真是对不起 |
| [19:35] | This is silly. I know it must be hard for you. | 这样很蠢 我知道这对你来说太难[硬]了 |
| [19:38] | Uh, not anymore. | 现在不是了 |
| [19:47] | You know, last night when you and I were in bed, | 昨晚当我们一起在床上时 |
| [19:49] | I realized I guess Nicolas is just gonna be one of | 我意识到尼可拉斯可能就是那位 |
| [19:51] | those people in my life that I’m always gonna | 我人生中差点发生关系 |
| [19:53] | almost have sex with, but I never will. | 但我又永远不会这么做的人之一 |
| [19:55] | You know? | 你懂我意思吗 |
| [19:56] | Yeah, like me and you. | 懂 就像我和你 |
| [19:59] | – Hey, Deke. – Hey, Earl. | -你好 迪克 -你好 厄尔 |
| [20:01] | Best conversation I had today. | 我今天最棒的谈话 |
| [20:05] | Max, last night I got the idea that maybe you thought | 麦克斯 昨晚我想你可能误会我 |
| [20:08] | that I didn’t want to take our relationship to the next level. | 认为我不想让我们的关系更进一步 |
| [20:10] | What is this, “Previously on Deke”? | 你这是干嘛 “迪克前情回顾”吗 |
| [20:12] | And just to prove that I do want to go to the next level, | 为了向你证明 我的确想跟你跟进一步 |
| [20:16] | I got you a ring. | 我给你买了个环 |
| [20:18] | Oh, my god, Max! I’m so happy for you! | 天啊 麦克斯 真为你感到开心 |
| [20:21] | Even though I thought I’d be the first one to get engaged. | 虽然我一直以为我会是先订婚的那个 |
| [20:23] | I think we all thought that. | 大家肯定都是这么认为的 |
| [20:26] | Deke, I don’t know what you’re gonna pull out of your pocket, | 迪克 我不知道你要从口袋里掏出什么东西 |
| [20:29] | but it better be a gun. | 但那最好是一把枪 |
| [20:31] | Actually, I know you don’t want a ring-ring. | 其实我知道你肯定不会想要那种指环 |
| [20:33] | but how about a nuvaring? | 所以我送你一个阴道环 |
| [20:37] | A nuvaring? | 阴道环 |
| [20:38] | How did you know my size? | 你怎么知道我里面大小 |
| [20:40] | I can’t wait to try it on. | 我迫不及待要戴进去了 |
| [20:43] | Well, I am not throwing you a shower for that. | 我可不会为你开个净身洗礼派对 |
| [20:46] | After I saw how you maybe forgot to take your pill on day one | 自从我目睹你第一天的药就貌似忘了吃 |
| [20:51] | and then took pills all day just to be safe, | 结果隔天一整天乱吃药来确保安全后 |
| [20:54] | I thought you’d need a little help. | 我就想你可能需要点小帮助 |
| [20:55] | So there, Max. Will you not have children with me? | 所以麦克斯 你愿意跟我一起避孕吗 |
| [20:59] | You’re damn right I won’t. | 我当然愿意 |
| [21:01] | Oh, wait, I think these take a couple days to work. | 慢着 这玩意戴上后还得过两天才管用 |
| [21:01] | 置入阴道后约有一个月的药效 之后自己取出替换新的即可 | |
| [21:04] | Where are we gonna get a condom for tonight? | 我们今晚要去哪里弄避孕套呢 |