| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | Fresh warm cupcakes! | 刚出炉热气腾腾的小蛋糕 |
| [00:04] | Enjoy this winter wonderland with some hot, hot cocoa! | 来杯热可可 好好享受这冬日仙境吧 |
| [00:09] | Why are we open and selling to no one | 我们早该打烊 躺在地板上打盹了 |
| [00:11] | when we should be closed and taking a floor nap? | 为什么还坚持开门营业 卖蛋糕给暴风雪吗 |
| [00:14] | Yes, Max, it’s a blizzard right now, | 没错 麦克斯 现在是暴风雪 |
| [00:17] | but in an hour, it could be 65! | 但一个小时内 温度将会升到摄氏18度 |
| [00:18] | That’s the beauty of global warming. | 这就是全球变暖的好处 |
| [00:21] | You, stop! | 你给我站住 |
| [00:23] | I’ll give you a peppermint stick! | 我送你一根薄荷彩棒哦 |
| [00:25] | That is a straw with red stripes. | 那只是一根红色条纹吸管而已 |
| [00:28] | Well, what sounds better, Max, | 那哪个听起来比较好 麦克斯 |
| [00:29] | a peppermint stick or… | 薄荷彩棒还是 |
| [00:30] | “a straw with red stripes”? | “红色条纹吸管” |
| [00:33] | First of all, great impression of me. | 首先我要说 你学我还真像 |
| [00:37] | And second, no one in their right mind | 其次 现在这种鬼天气 |
| [00:39] | is stopping for cupcakes right now. | 没有一个正常人会停下来买蛋糕的 |
| [00:45] | Oh, hi, girls! | 姑娘们 |
| [00:47] | Guess who wants a cupcake. | 猜谁想来个小蛋糕 |
| [00:49] | It’s me. | 是我哦 |
| [00:51] | Here you go, Sophie. | 给 苏菲 |
| [00:52] | See, Max, we have a customer. | 麦克斯 瞧 我们有顾客了 |
| [00:54] | And just so you know, I’m not gonna pay. | 对了如你所知 我不会付钱的哦 |
| [01:00] | I am so glad you stay open | 真开心你们还在营业 |
| [01:01] | even with all this snow everywhere. | 雪花满天飞还坚持不懈 |
| [01:04] | You know, good for you. | 你们俩干得很好 |
| [01:07] | You two are really committed to this little cupcake window, | 真的把心血都倾注到这小蛋糕窗口上了 |
| [01:10] | Even when it’s stupid. | 即使明知没人买 也还坚持营业 |
| [01:16] | That’s it, we’re closing. | 够了 咱们收工吧 |
| [01:18] | These streets need to be plowed | 这街道该铲雪[开搞]的程度 |
| [01:20] | more than that poor married Jonas brother. | 比那个老婆肚子大了的明星还严重 |
| [01:23] | No, wait. Listen! | 先等等 你听 |
| [01:25] | It’s the snowplow. | 是铲雪车的声音 |
| [01:27] | Now, people will be able to get to us. | 铲完雪 顾客上门就轻松了 |
| [01:28] | I told you, it is gonna be one of those | 跟你说了今晚也会是个 |
| [01:30] | magical New York city nights. | 纽约城神奇魔法之夜 |
| [01:39] | Do it again! | 老天麻烦再爱她一遍 |
| [01:44] | 打工 | |
| [01:44] | 打工 | |
| [02:00] | Why are we here? | 我们还待在这干嘛 |
| [02:01] | It’s still snowing, and we have no customers. | 外面还在下雪 店里一个客人都没有 |
| [02:04] | I had to put money in the cash register | 我都得靠自己塞钱进收银机里 |
| [02:06] | just to steal it. | 才能满足偷钱欲了 |
| [02:09] | We can’t just leave. Han’s not here. | 我们不能说走就走 阿憨还没来啊 |
| [02:12] | Maybe the trains aren’t running, | 可能火车停止发车 |
| [02:13] | or Han got knocked out by a snowflake. | 或者小阿憨被一片雪花给击晕了 |
| [02:16] | Well, you know the diner rule, the one I just made up. | 餐厅的规矩我想你懂 就我现编出来的这条 |
| [02:20] | If he’s 30 minutes late, | 如果他迟到超过30分钟 |
| [02:21] | we grab whatever we can fit in our pockets and leave. | 我们就偷走所有能塞进口袋里的东西开溜 |
| [02:25] | Of course, if he’s 31 minutes late | 行啊 如果他迟到了31分钟 |
| [02:27] | and there’s no one here, we all get fired. | 发现店里没人在 大家就全被炒了 |
| [02:31] | But I say we roll the dice. | 但要我说就碰运气吧 |
| [02:36] | Well, whatever happened, | 先不管他发生了啥事 |
| [02:36] | we can’t run the diner if Han’s not here. | 但他不在我们就没法营业啊 |
| [02:39] | That’s right, who’s gonna walk around here | 有见地 那我们谁要负责在店里转悠 |
| [02:40] | guessing what a vagina looks like? | 然后想着阴道到底长哪样 |
| [02:44] | Uh, me? | 我咩 |
| [02:48] | Pick up. | 上菜 |
| [02:50] | I like this cold weather. | 我喜欢这种冷天气 |
| [02:51] | I get to wear my chin-cheetah hat. | 我可以戴上我的金豹帽 |
| [02:55] | Chin-cheetah? That’s not even a real animal. | 金豹 世上哪有这种动物啊 |
| [02:57] | Yes, it is. This was the last one. | 真的有 我这帽子就是用最后一只做的 |
| [03:03] | Who’s that food for? We don’t have any customers. | 那食物要给谁 店里都没客人 |
| [03:06] | It’s for me and Deke. | 是我跟迪克要吃 |
| [03:07] | We’re studying pastry school stuff in the cupcake shop. | 我们要在小蛋糕店里读烘焙学校的东西 |
| [03:10] | We’re also putting rocks in snowballs and throwing them | 也要在雪球里包石头用来丢那些 |
| [03:12] | at hipsters wearing those stupid stuffed animal hats. | 戴着白痴填充动物帽的嬉皮士 |
| [03:15] | Max, you think school will be open? | 麦克斯 你觉得明天还用去学校吗 |
| [03:17] | I was hoping it’d be closed, | 我还希望能休息一天 |
| [03:18] | so I’d have at least have one day | 让我有一天时间清静 |
| [03:20] | where I wouldn’t have to deal with the drama | 不用再烦心我跟尼可拉斯大厨之间 |
| [03:21] | between me and chef Nicolas. | 烦人的情事 |
| [03:23] | Oh, is that the married man you kissed? | 就是你亲了的那个已婚男人吗 |
| [03:26] | Who told you? | 谁跟你说这事的 |
| [03:28] | You! Like a hundred times. | 你啊 说了几百次 |
| [03:32] | Let’s play a snow day game. | 来玩个下雪天游戏吧 |
| [03:34] | Like what, guess the code to the safe in Han’s office? | 比如 来猜阿憨办公室里保险箱的密码吗 |
| [03:38] | I know the first two numbers are eight and nine. | 我知道头两个数字是8与9 |
| [03:42] | How about– if you could have sex | 如果得在我们这群人中 |
| [03:44] | with anyone here, who would it be? | 选一个人做爱 你们会选谁 |
| [03:47] | “Could have” or “forced to have”? | 是”想要与之”还是”被迫与之” |
| [03:51] | Oleg, you go first. | 奥列格 你先来吧 |
| [03:53] | I pick Caroline. | 我选卡洛琳 |
| [03:54] | Oh, thank you. That’s gross. | 谢谢 真是恶心爆了 |
| [04:00] | No, Caroline got mauled by a bear in the snow. | 不能选她 她在雪中被熊一掌拍死了 |
| [04:04] | I did? | 真的吗 |
| [04:05] | No, it was me in a bear costume. | 不是 是我穿着熊衣服干的 |
| [04:09] | She never saw me coming. | 我下手时她完全没料到 |
| [04:12] | So my only two choices are you or Earl? | 所以我只能在你跟厄尔之间选吗 |
| [04:15] | No, Earl passed away in his sleep. | 不 厄尔在睡梦中去世了 |
| [04:20] | Of course, you’ll feel terrible | 是是是 等过几周 |
| [04:22] | when that happens in a couple of weeks. | 你一语成谶了 我看你笑不笑得出来 |
| [04:26] | Now, if you’d excuse me, I’m going to go home | 抱歉失陪了 我要回家 |
| [04:28] | and roll me a fatty. | 好好爽一发了 |
| [04:30] | Her name is Denise. | 她的名字叫蒂妮湿 |
| [04:37] | Okay, so I pick you. | 好吧 那我选你 |
| [04:38] | Me? | 我吗 |
| [04:40] | You pick me out of all these two people? | 你从两个人选中选了我吗 |
| [04:46] | Luis, are you blushing? | 路易斯 你脸红啦 |
| [04:47] | No! I’m wearing blush. | 我只是有擦腮红而已 |
| [04:52] | Don’t worry, everyone! | 大家不用担心了 |
| [04:53] | I survived! | 我没死 |
| [05:01] | Still don’t know where Han is, | 还是不知道阿憨上哪了 |
| [05:02] | but the new Bond villain just arrived. | 但新的007电影坏人登场了 |
| [05:06] | Now there’s an even bigger octopussy in town. | 比”八爪女”更厉害的八”逼”女来了 |
| [05:06] | 《007之八爪女》是007系列的第13部电影 | |
| [05:12] | I’m very sorry I’m late. | 迟到真是太对不起了 |
| [05:14] | I got stuck in a snow bank, | 我被困在雪堆里了 |
| [05:15] | and I had to pee myself out. | 靠撒尿才融出一条逃生道 |
| [05:18] | Where’s Max? And I know she’s not trapped in the storm, | 麦克斯呢 我知道她肯定不是被困雪中 |
| [05:20] | ’cause she’s the one who taught me | 因为她就是教我 |
| [05:22] | how to pee my way out. | 尿出一条雪路的人 |
| [05:25] | Max, what is the French name for this pastry | 麦克斯 这看起来像一堆闪亮蛋蛋的 |
| [05:27] | that looks like a bunch of glazed balls? | 法国糕点叫做什么名字呢 |
| [05:31] | A sha-sha-sha? | 叫瞎瞎瞎吗 |
| [05:33] | No. | 不是 |
| [05:34] | A doh-doh-doh-doh-doh? | 叫呼噜呼噜呼噜吗 |
| [05:36] | Oh, so close. It’s a “Pata-chow.” | 很接近了 是”啪嗒秋” |
| [05:40] | French and chemistry for pastry school? | 烘焙学校还得读法语跟化学 |
| [05:43] | I thought class was gonna be like, | 我本来以为上课只会是 |
| [05:45] | “which is better, cake or bread? | “哪个比较好 蛋糕还是面包 |
| [05:46] | They’re both great, duh. | 当然是两种都好啦 |
| [05:47] | Here’s your degree.” | 很好 学位证拿去吧” |
| [05:50] | I have terrible news. | 我有个坏消息 |
| [05:52] | Han’s not dead, and he wants us to do side work. | 阿憨没死 还要我们帮忙干别的活 |
| [05:55] | Do you mind? | 能别打扰吗 |
| [05:56] | Harry Pothead and I are trying to study. | 我跟哈利·大麻特在学习呢 |
| [06:00] | Oh, Max, I know how we’ll pass. | 麦克斯 我知道怎么过关了 |
| [06:02] | We can ask that girl next to us in class for help. | 我们可以请教我们学校隔壁桌的那个女生 |
| [06:04] | She speaks French. | 她会说法语 |
| [06:05] | You know, the one with the bubble butt, Judy? | 就是那个屁股大如球的女人 朱迪 |
| [06:08] | Oh, yeah! Judy with the booty. | 知道 大屁股朱迪嘛 |
| [06:11] | You don’t know her that well. | 你跟人家没熟到可以叫小名 |
| [06:12] | Please, call her “Judith with the boodith.” | 请称呼人家全名”大屁股小姐朱迪丝” |
| [06:17] | Max, can I interrupt this episode of “Ass chat” | 麦克斯 我能打断你们这集”屁股有约”吗 |
| [06:22] | and talk to you outside for a second? | 然后跟你到外面谈两句吗 |
| [06:24] | – Sure. – Hey, Max. | -行 -麦克斯 |
| [06:26] | Her butt’s so big, she walks into the room doggie-style. | 她屁股大到得用狗爬式才能进屋 |
| [06:33] | Like I said to my uncle when he came into my bedroom | 我要说的话 就跟我叔叔半夜走近我房间时 |
| [06:35] | in the middle of the night, “this better be good.” | 我说的话一样 “最好是够爽” |
| [06:41] | Does it bother you when Deke talks | 迪克跟你像好兄弟之间 |
| [06:42] | about other girls with you like you’re a guy? | 聊别的妞的时候你不会不爽吗 |
| [06:45] | Not as much as it bothers me | 你把我当闺蜜一样 |
| [06:46] | when you talk to me like I’m a girl. | 谈天说地时 我更不爽呢 |
| [06:49] | Look, Deke and I are just bros. | 迪克跟我只是兄弟 |
| [06:51] | I don’t want to sleep with him. | 我对他又没”性趣” |
| [06:52] | Not that there’s anything wrong with | 虽然说两个兄弟变成基友 |
| [06:53] | two bros sleeping together. | 睡一起也没啥不好 |
| [06:56] | I’m not bromophobic. | 我又没有兄弟恐惧症 |
| [07:00] | It’s just not what this is. | 但我跟他就不是那种关系 |
| [07:02] | So you’re sure there’s nothing sexual | 所以你确定你跟他之间 |
| [07:04] | going on between you and him? | 没有任何一点情欲元素吗 |
| [07:06] | Yes, I’m sure. | 我确定 |
| [07:10] | No! | 瞎了眼了 |
| [07:12] | Watch, I’m gonna take a snow swim. | 看好了 我要去雪泳 |
| [07:21] | Not that cold. | 也没多冷嘛 |
| [07:25] | You’re right, nothing sexual there | 你说得对 完全没有任何情欲 |
| [07:26] | unless you like adult men in underoos. | 除非你对穿着儿童内裤的大人有性趣 |
| [07:38] | Well, there’s Nicolas. I was not prepared for this. | 要看到尼可拉斯了 我真心没心理准备 |
| [07:42] | Really? ’cause we spent the entire subway ride | 是吗 老娘整趟来这里的地铁上 |
| [07:45] | preparing you for this. | 都在帮你做心理建设 |
| [07:47] | Okay, look, should I brace myself | 你们两个会尴尬到 |
| [07:49] | for weirdness between you two? | 我需要现在就做好准备吗 |
| [07:50] | And by that, I mean should I hit this? | 我是指现在就先开始喝吗 |
| [07:53] | No, I’m cool. Cool as a cucumber. | 我会冷酷对待 酷到狂拽屌炸天 |
| [07:55] | Ll Cool J. Never been cooler. | 冷酷冰雪女王 天下第一酷 |
| [07:58] | Ugh! Why didn’t I drink before you said that? | 我这口酒应该留到你说完这傻话再喝 |
| [08:02] | Oh, yeah. I am gonna ice him out. | 放心吧 我会对他冷眼相待 |
| [08:06] | Well, maybe lose a couple of those cubes, | 你还是稍微收起你的冷酷范吧 |
| [08:08] | because he is your boss, | 毕竟他可是你老板 |
| [08:10] | and the only reason I can afford to go here is | 而我能念得起这学校全是靠 |
| [08:11] | ’cause you work in the office. | 你在办公室的工作换来的 |
| [08:13] | Don’t worry, he’ll never know. | 放心 他不会察觉 |
| [08:14] | Pretend you’re Nicolas. | 假装你是尼可拉斯 |
| [08:16] | Hello, Caroline. | 你好啊 卡洛琳 |
| [08:19] | I am a man, but I am pretty like a lady. | 我是个貌美如花的美男子 |
| [08:23] | Good morning, how are you? | 早安 今天好吗 |
| [08:25] | Ooh, that was good. | 好演技 |
| [08:27] | ‘Sup, Max? | 麦克斯 早上好 |
| [08:28] | – Look who I got to ride up with. – Hey, Max. | -你看我跟谁一起搭电梯上来了 -麦克斯 |
| [08:30] | Hey, Jude. You ever heard that one before? | 嘿 朱迪 你听过人家这么叫吗 |
| [08:34] | Yeah. Is that, like, a thing? | 听过啊 这是啥流行语吗 |
| [08:34] | 《Hey Jude 嘿 朱迪》披头士乐队的知名歌曲 | |
| [08:37] | Thanks for the ride up, Deke. | 迪克 谢谢你了 |
| [08:39] | Caroline. | 卡洛琳 |
| [08:45] | I thought we were gonna have to take the freight elevator. | 我本来以为得跟她搭货物运送电梯了 |
| [08:48] | Really? I assumed you guys would take the ass-calator. | 是吗 我以为你们是要搭屁动扶梯呢 |
| [08:55] | Oh, hello, Caroline. | 你好啊 卡洛琳 |
| [08:56] | Good morning, how are you? | 早安 你好吗 |
| [08:58] | Very well, thank you. | 很好 谢谢问候 |
| [09:00] | Can’t you see I’m mad at you? | 你看不出来我在生你气吗 |
| [09:03] | Then why are you smiling? | 那你为什么在笑 |
| [09:04] | This is my fake face. | 这是我假客套的脸 |
| [09:07] | Then what does your real face look like? | 那你真的表情是怎么样呢 |
| [09:10] | How dare you kiss me when you’re married? | 你个已婚男人居然还敢亲我 |
| [09:14] | I prefer the fake one. | 我还是喜欢你假客套的脸 |
| [09:20] | Bonjour, class. | 大家好吗 |
| [09:21] | Bonjour, chef Nicolas. | 尼可拉斯大厨好 |
| [09:23] | Today, we will be concentrating on the chemistry of baking | 我们今天要特别多讲讲烘焙的化学知识 |
| [09:27] | for tomorrow’s test. | 因为明天考试会考 |
| [09:29] | I don’t know about the damn test, | 我不知道考试结果会如何 |
| [09:30] | but I would ace a pop quiz on that ass. | 但如果考玩她屁股 我一定满分 |
| [09:34] | – Oh, sorry. – I’ll get that. | -真不好意思 -我去捡 |
| [09:37] | Let Judy pick it up. | 让朱迪捡啊 |
| [09:38] | It’s a chance to see it in motion. | 好有机会看到她屁股晃动的样子 |
| [09:41] | You think she got that thing at a Kim Kardashian backyard sale? | 你觉得她那屁股是从金·卡戴珊家买的吗 |
| [09:41] | 名媛金·卡戴珊的身材是著名的巨乳肥臀 | |
| [09:48] | When you add water to the flour to hydrate the two proteins, | 当你加水进面粉团中水合两种蛋白质 |
| [09:52] | glutenin and gliadin, | 麦谷蛋白与醇溶蛋白 |
| [09:53] | those two proteins are drawn to each other, | 这两种蛋白质会被对方吸引 |
| [09:56] | and they bond. | 从而融为一体 |
| [09:57] | Like I like to say, they’re hot for each other. | 我喜欢称之 为对方欲罢不能 |
| [10:01] | Max, look, they were drawn to each other, | 麦克斯你看 它们被对方吸引 |
| [10:03] | they bonded, | 融为一体 |
| [10:03] | and now, we’ve got our own big butt. | 现在生出了我们自己的大屁股了 |
| [10:06] | Dat ass, though! | 那屁股 真粉 |
| [10:09] | More like dat ass dough. | 是那屁股 面粉吧 |
| [10:14] | You need to wet the dough with water | 你们得往面团里加水 |
| [10:15] | to keep it moist and supple. | 才能保持湿润与柔软 |
| [10:17] | Wet your bread, everyone, | 把面团弄湿 大家 |
| [10:19] | wet your bread. | 把你们的面团弄湿 |
| [10:21] | Mine’s pretty wet. How’s yours? | 我的挺湿了 你的呢 |
| [10:23] | Mine would be, but it’s on antidepressants. | 本来是 但吃抗忧郁药后 湿不起了 |
| [10:26] | Work with your partner, help each other out. | 跟你的搭档合作 帮助对方 |
| [10:29] | Here, let me help, Max. | 来 我帮你吧 麦克斯 |
| [10:30] | Yeah, mine’s not as smooth as yours. | 对啊 我的好像没你的光滑 |
| [10:32] | Mm, keep kneading it. You need more water. | 继续揉吧 还需要更多水 |
| [10:42] | It’s better, right? | 现在好多了吧 |
| [10:43] | Yeah, I think wetting it helped. | 对啊 把它弄湿挺管用的 |
| [10:56] | Caroline, something is really wrong with me. | 卡洛琳 我出大问题了 |
| [10:59] | Don’t freak out. I’m here for you. | 先别慌 有我呢 |
| [11:01] | Unless it’s something I can catch. | 除非那是能传染给我的”问题” |
| [11:04] | Something weird happened. | 出了件怪事 |
| [11:06] | I think I might have feelings for Deke. | 我可能对迪克有好感 |
| [11:08] | Oh, God, no! | 天啊 不是吧 |
| [11:11] | I mean, that is interesting. Let’s talk about that. | 我的意思是这事有意思 咱们来谈谈吧 |
| [11:15] | I don’t know what to do. | 我不知道该怎么办了 |
| [11:16] | We’re bros, and I don’t want to ruin the friendship, | 我把他当兄弟 我不想破坏我们之间的友情 |
| [11:18] | which is really unlike me. | 这太不像我了 |
| [11:20] | I always ruin friendships. | 我向来都是友情破坏王 |
| [11:21] | I’ve been trying to ruin ours since you moved in. | 打从你搬进来 我就一直想破坏我们的友情 |
| [11:23] | Well, what changed with Deke? | 迪克有何变化让你动了心 |
| [11:26] | It was so weird– he was wetting my bread, | 当时情景特别奇怪 他帮我加湿我的面团 |
| [11:28] | And then my bread was wet, if you know what I’m saying. | 然后揉着揉着我”下面”包也湿了 你懂的 |
| [11:33] | Okay, thank you. I’m finally off bread. | 我懂 多谢你 我终于不爱吃面包了 |
| [11:36] | Look, I understand. | 我完全理解你 |
| [11:38] | You can’t always help who you’re attracted to. | 有时候人们就是会控制不住喜欢上谁 |
| [11:40] | It’s like with me and Nicolas– | 就像我和尼可拉斯 |
| [11:41] | This is not the same as you and Frenchie. | 我们才不像你和那个法国佬呢 |
| [11:43] | I wasn’t attracted to Deke before today. | 我是今天才开始对迪克有好感 |
| [11:45] | The first time you met Nicolas, | 而你第一次见尼可拉斯时 |
| [11:47] | your vagina fell on the floor and tried to crawl up his leg. | 你的阴道都立马掉到地上 想爬上他大腿了 |
| [11:51] | Yes, but I scooped it up and snapped it back on | 没错 但我立刻捡起来并立马装了回去 |
| [11:55] | Because I was not born to have sex with a married man. | 因为我天生就不是跟已婚男人乱搞的浪荡女 |
| [11:58] | If I was, I would have flirted with Matt Lauer | 如果我是 我早就在马特·劳厄尔 |
| [12:01] | when he came over for the Christmas tree lighting at my house. | 来我家参加圣诞树点亮仪式时 跟他调情了 |
| [12:04] | 马特·劳厄尔 NBC著名主持人 | |
| [12:04] | Matt lauer– that guy’s got game. | 马特·劳厄尔 那家伙可招妞喜欢了 |
| [12:07] | No hair, but game. | 虽然头发少 但妞多 |
| [12:11] | Hey, everybody, good news! | 各位 好消息 |
| [12:15] | Oh, I passed that kidney stone. | 我的肾结石没了 |
| [12:18] | Yeah, I think the skiing loosened it. | 没错 我觉得是滑雪让它滑出来了 |
| [12:21] | Oh, I felt like I was birthing a baby through my eye hole. | 感觉就像从我眼洞里生出了个小宝宝 |
| [12:27] | Did you save the stone? | 你没有留着那些石头吗 |
| [12:29] | ’cause only three more, and you can make me that necklace. | 再三块 就能给我做条她那样的项链了 |
| [12:32] | Max, don’t change the subject. | 麦克斯 别试图转移话题 |
| [12:34] | What are you gonna do about Deke? | 迪克的事你打算怎么做 |
| [12:35] | Oh, wait, I love giving advice. | 慢着 我最喜欢给人建议了 |
| [12:37] | I had my own advice column in Poland. | 在波兰 我有自己的建议专栏 |
| [12:40] | It was called “Don’t do that!” | 名字就叫”千万别啊” |
| [12:45] | Sophie, have you ever had sex with a friend? | 苏菲 你有跟朋友上过床吗 |
| [12:47] | Oh, no. Are you two gonna do it? | 不是吧 你们俩要上床了吗 |
| [12:52] | No, that is not what– | 当然不是 她的意思是 |
| [12:53] | Oh, don’t do that! | 千万别啊 |
| [12:56] | No, it will ruin your relationship | 不要 这会破坏你们的友情 |
| [12:59] | and my opinion of Max. | 也会破坏我对麦克斯的印象 |
| [13:01] | What about your opinion of me? | 那你对我的印象就没影响吗 |
| [13:03] | Eh, it’s already pretty low. | 本来就已经很差了 |
| [13:09] | What am I gonna do about Deke? | 我跟迪克到底该怎么办 |
| [13:11] | He’s coming over to study tonight. | 他今晚还要过来学习 |
| [13:13] | Oh, God, I sound like such a girl from the ’50s. | 天啊 我好像50年代的怀春少女 |
| [13:16] | Gonna go cry into my princess phone. | 我要去抱着我的老式电话机哭了 |
| [13:20] | You should tell Deke how you feel, | 你应该告诉迪克你的真实感受 |
| [13:21] | And tell him tonight, | 今晚就告诉他 |
| [13:22] | because I think that Judy girl likes him, | 因为我觉得那个朱迪也喜欢他 |
| [13:24] | and I think he might like her too. | 而且我觉得他也可能喜欢她 |
| [13:26] | Why do you say that? I literally don’t care at all, | 你为何这么说 虽说我完全不介意 |
| [13:28] | but I just want to know, why would you say that? | 但我只想知道 你这话从何而来 |
| [13:31] | Max, he likes big butts, and he cannot lie. | 麦克斯 他喜欢大屁股 他否认不了 |
| [13:31] | 90年代著名歌曲《Baby got back》的歌词 | |
| [13:39] | “At what temperature does sugar crystallize? | “糖会在什么温度下结晶 |
| [13:41] | fahrenheit and celsius.” Go, Max. | 华氏度与摄氏度几度” 快答 麦克斯 |
| [13:44] | Max. | 麦克斯 |
| [13:47] | Why are you looking at me like that? | 你干嘛那样看着我 |
| [13:50] | This doesn’t make any sense! | 我完全无法理解 |
| [13:51] | Well, your book is upside down. | 那是因为你的书拿倒了 |
| [13:57] | Hey, hearing a lot of chitchat in here. | 我听到你们在叽叽喳喳的 |
| [13:59] | Just wanted to make sure you two are studying. | 过来确认下你俩是否有在学习 |
| [14:02] | Stop studying. Kiss him. | 学个屁啊 快亲他啊 |
| [14:06] | All right, well, I better be going. | 好啦 我还是走吧 |
| [14:09] | Just pretend I’m not here. | 你们就当我不在好了 |
| [14:12] | I always do. | 我向来如此 |
| [14:15] | Hey, um, this is weird, but before we study, | 有件事很奇怪 但在我们学习之前 |
| [14:18] | I kind of have something to tell you. | 我有话要对你说 |
| [14:21] | Weird, ’cause I kinda have something to tell you. | 奇怪 我也有话要对你说 |
| [14:23] | That is weird. Maybe it’s the same thing. | 那真是太巧了 或许咱俩说的是同一件事 |
| [14:26] | Someone wants to have sex with me. | 有人想跟我做爱 |
| [14:29] | How did you know that? | 你怎么知道 |
| [14:30] | ’cause Judy with the booty just texted me, | 因为大屁股朱迪刚发短信给我 |
| [14:32] | “Would you like to study tonight | “你今晚想跟我一起学习 |
| [14:34] | and then have sex with me?” | 然后顺便做个爱吗” |
| [14:37] | I think you’ve interpreted that correctly. | 我觉得你对她意思解读的很到位 |
| [14:40] | Wow, she’s direct and, I might add, slutty. | 哇 她真直接 而且有够淫荡的 |
| [14:43] | I know, she’s got balls to go with that butt. | 我知道 她屁股大胆子也大 |
| [14:47] | So what were you gonna tell me? | 你刚想跟我说什么 |
| [14:49] | Oh, I was going to tell you what you just told me, | 我刚想说的话跟你刚告诉我的一样 |
| [14:53] | That Judy with the booty wants to have sex with you. | 大屁股朱迪想跟你做爱 |
| [14:57] | Glad she got up the guts to tell you. | 很高兴她能鼓起勇气告诉你 |
| [14:59] | So go for it. | 那你去上她吧 |
| [15:01] | Wait, you want me to go for it? | 慢着 你想我去上了她吗 |
| [15:03] | Yeah, totally, go for it. | 对啊 没错 上她 |
| [15:05] | She seems kind of clean. Go get it. | 她看起来也不像有性病 上吧 |
| [15:08] | But we’re supposed to study. | 但我们说好了今晚要学习 |
| [15:09] | I wouldn’t want to bail on you just to go hit that. | 我不想为了上她 而放你鸽子 |
| [15:11] | Hey, if you don’t, I will. | 如果你不去 那我去 |
| [15:13] | You’re really gonna pass that ass up? | 你真的不想上那对大屁股吗 |
| [15:15] | Now get going, ’cause I have to memorize | 快走吧 因为我得记住 |
| [15:16] | what temperature cho-cho-cho turns into chan-chan-chan. | 在什么温度下糖糖糖会结成晶晶晶 |
| [15:20] | So you’re telling me to go? | 所以你是让我去吗 |
| [15:22] | I’m saying, “Ta-ta-ta.” | 我就是说”走走走”吧 |
| [15:24] | Go get her bread wet. Make it rise, bro. | 把她的”面包”搞湿 让它膨起来 兄弟 |
| [15:27] | Okay, then, bro. | 好吧 兄弟 |
| [15:29] | I guess I will go, but with that butt, | 那我就去了 但那大屁股这么诱人 |
| [15:31] | if I come back a crack addict, it’s your fault. | 如果我回来后染上股沟瘾 那就全怪你 |
| [15:39] | Where’s he going? Is this a condom run? | 他去哪里 是不是跑去买避孕套了 |
| [15:41] | Is he going on a condom run? | 他是跑去买避孕套了吗 |
| [15:43] | ’cause if he is, can you text him to pick up a diet coke? | 如果是的话 麻烦短信他顺便买健怡可乐 |
| [15:46] | Can, not a bottle. You know the deal. | 要罐装的 不要瓶装的 你懂的啦 |
| [15:49] | He’s going to have sex with Judy. | 他是去上朱迪 |
| [15:51] | You were right, he’s into her. | 你说得对 他也喜欢她 |
| [15:52] | I’m so glad I didn’t say anything. | 还好我没说什么 |
| [15:54] | that would have felt terrible. | 会让我觉得很难过的话 |
| [15:56] | How do you feel now? | 那你现在感觉如何 |
| [15:58] | Terrible. | 很难过 |
| [15:59] | But at least I didn’t embarrass myself. | 但至少我没让自己丢脸 |
| [16:01] | I was this close to showing him my gnomes. | 我差点要给他看我的小矮人们了 |
| [16:06] | Wow, you must really like him | 你一定很喜欢他 |
| [16:08] | if you were willing to let him know | 你都愿意让他知道 |
| [16:10] | that you’re an insane person. | 你是个神经病 |
| [16:12] | Well, I’m about to be more screwed than Judy, | 我很快就要比朱迪被操得更惨了 |
| [16:14] | because I didn’t study at all. | 因为我完全没学习 |
| [16:16] | I know French. I can help you. | 我懂法语 我可以帮你 |
| [16:18] | You can help me with the keys you have to Nicolas’ office. | 你可以用尼可拉斯办公室的钥匙帮我 |
| [16:21] | We are breaking in and stealing the test! | 我们要潜进去偷试卷 |
| [16:24] | Why are you covering his ears? He knows you steal. | 你干嘛还要捂着他的耳朵 他知道你是惯犯 |
| [16:27] | You took him from someone’s yard. | 你就是从别人院子里把他偷走的 |
| [16:37] | I can’t believe we’re sneaking into his office | 真不敢相信我们为了偷你的试卷 |
| [16:39] | to steal your test. | 偷偷潜进他的办公室 |
| [16:40] | This is cheating. | 这完全是作弊行为 |
| [16:41] | Oh, don’t worry, I hear my teacher’s kind of into cheating. | 别担心 我听说我的老师喜欢作弊[偷情] |
| [16:47] | Can’t argue with that. | 一针见血 |
| [16:51] | Max, please hurry. Find the test, | 麦克斯 麻利点 找到试卷 |
| [16:53] | and let’s get out of here because we shouldn’t be in here | 赶紧离开这里 因为我们不该来这里 |
| [16:55] | and it smells like him and I like it. | 这里都是他的味道 我好喜欢这味儿哦 |
| [16:59] | Okay, one of these papers has to be it. | 好啦 其中一份肯定就是 |
| [17:01] | Oh, no, everything’s written in secret code! | 不是吧 这上面都是用密码写的 |
| [17:04] | Max, that’s French. | 麦克斯 上面是法语 |
| [17:08] | How is it possible he’s even better-looking in photos | 他人已经那么帅了 照片怎么能比 |
| [17:10] | than in real life? | 真人更好看呢 |
| [17:12] | Max, hurry up. I can’t be around his stuff. | 麦克斯 快点 我不能靠近他的东西 |
| [17:14] | My vagina’s trying to get out of my pants again. | 我的阴道又试图想逃出我的裤子了 |
| [17:18] | Well, get her out here! | 那就把她放出来 |
| [17:21] | Maybe she can help me look for the test, | 或许她可以帮我找到试卷 |
| [17:22] | ’cause you’re useless. | 因为你一点用都没有 |
| [17:25] | Oh, no, it’s Nicolas. | 天啊 是尼可拉斯 |
| [17:26] | I can smell him in the hall, and I like it. | 我能闻到他在走廊里 我好爱 |
| [17:29] | Max, let’s get out of here. | 麦克斯 咱们快走吧 |
| [17:31] | Okay, well, you have to stay and distract him, | 好吧 你得留下来分散他的注意力 |
| [17:32] | so I can sneak out. | 这样我才能溜走 |
| [17:33] | Just pretend you’re not mad and you came in to see him. | 你就假装你没生气 你是来找他的 |
| [17:35] | I can’t just turn it on like that. | 我不能瞬间转变态度啊 |
| [17:37] | What am I, an actress at a cocktail party? | 你以为我是鸡尾酒派对上的女演员啊 |
| [17:39] | You have to, it’s the only logical explanation | 你非做不可 这是你出现在这里的 |
| [17:41] | You have for being in here. | 唯一合理解释 |
| [17:45] | Caroline. | 卡洛琳 |
| [17:46] | I’ve missed you. I’m in your office. | 我很想你 所以我就来你办公室了 |
| [17:48] | That’s the only logical explanation I have for being in here. | 这是我出现在这里的唯一合理解释 |
| [17:57] | Oh, sorry. Did I hurt you? | 抱歉 我弄疼你了吗 |
| [17:58] | Oh, no, I’m sitting on something. | 不是 我坐在什么东西上了 |
| [18:00] | Oh, sorry. Oh, those are the exams for today. | 不好意思 这是今天的试卷 |
| [18:03] | Oh, well, let me just give us some room | 那我把这些试卷全扔地上 |
| [18:05] | while I push these exams on the floor. | 好腾出地方让我们亲热 |
| [18:11] | Now, kiss me again, but this time, lay on top of me, | 继续吻我 不过这一次要整个人趴在我身上 |
| [18:13] | so your legs are out of the way. Now, go! | 这样你的脚才不会碍事 快点 |
| [18:23] | Wait. Wait, wait, wait. | 慢着 慢着 停下来 |
| [18:25] | You know this can’t happen. You’re married. | 你知道这样是不对的 你已经结婚了 |
| [18:29] | Now, if you’ll excuse me, | 不好意思 |
| [18:30] | I have to go snap something back on. | 现在我得去把某物装上了 |
| [18:37] | Well, here are the test answers, | 这是试卷的答案 |
| [18:40] | but I don’t know what the questions are | 但我不知道问题是什么 |
| [18:41] | because I only got half the test, | 因为我只拿到一半试卷 |
| [18:43] | and I’m only half sure those are the answers. | 而且我只有一半确定那上面的是答案 |
| [18:46] | Whoa, dude, how did you get this? | 兄弟 你怎么搞到的 |
| [18:48] | I turned Caroline into a whore. | 我让卡洛琳出卖了灵肉 |
| [18:51] | Can you figure out any of this? | 你能看明白吗 |
| [18:53] | I don’t have any idea what these questions could be. | 我完全猜不到这些问题会是什么 |
| [18:56] | Ugh! I didn’t study either. | 我昨晚也没学习 |
| [18:58] | Judy and I got to talking, and it got pretty involved. | 我和朱迪聊天 而且聊得很深入 |
| [19:00] | Well, now we’re screwed. | 现在我们都搞砸了 |
| [19:02] | I mean, you already got screwed. | 我是说 反正你已经”搞”过了 |
| [19:03] | Congrats. Proud of you, bro. | 恭喜 以你为傲 兄弟 |
| [19:06] | Max, we’re gonna flunk this test. | 麦克斯 这次考试我们要不及格了 |
| [19:08] | Better go to the men’s room | 我最好先去男厕所 |
| [19:09] | and write all the answers on my penis. | 把所有答案抄上我鸡鸡了 |
| [19:13] | Don’t worry, they’ll fit. | 别担心 能全写下 |
| [19:18] | I hope you’re happy, | 这下你开心啦 |
| [19:19] | I’ve now kissed a married man twice. | 我跟已婚男人接吻了两次 |
| [19:21] | Oh, and here, I grabbed this from Nicolas’ office. | 给 这是从尼可拉斯办公室拿来的 |
| [19:23] | That’s not the test. It’s a phone bill. | 那不是试卷 这是话费单 |
| [19:25] | I know, I wanted you to see he doesn’t call his wife much. | 我知道 我想你看他都没怎么跟老婆打电话 |
| [19:30] | Fire! Everyone get out! | 着火了 大家快出去 |
| [19:33] | Move your big ass! We’re gonna burn! Scoot. | 挪开你的大屁股 不然我们都要死在这里 滚 |
| [19:37] | Oh, my God, Max! | 天啊 麦克斯 |
| [19:39] | I hope Nicolas is okay! | 我希望尼可拉斯没事 |
| [19:42] | Don’t worry about me, I’m right behind you! | 别担心我 我就在你身后 |
| [19:46] | Caroline, I want you to be safe. Come with me. | 卡洛琳 我要保证你安全 跟我走 |
| [19:49] | You’re married. I’ll just stay here and burn. | 你都结婚了 我就留在这烧死算了 |
| [19:53] | Caroline, don’t be crazy. | 卡洛琳 别傻了 |
| [19:56] | This is all your fault. | 这都是你的错 |
| [20:01] | Don’t worry about me, I’m right behind you! | 别担心我 我就在你身后 |
| [20:04] | Max, wait. | 麦克斯 别跑 |
| [20:06] | It’s just a false alarm. I pulled it. | 这只是假警报而已 是我拉响的 |
| [20:09] | So classy. | 厉害 |
| [20:11] | You weren’t gonna pass that test, | 不然你肯定考不过 |
| [20:12] | and I need you in that class with me. | 我需要你跟我一起上课 |
| [20:15] | You did this for me? | 你是为了我才这么做的吗 |
| [20:17] | Yeah, and for me too, I wasn’t gonna pass either. | 当然也是为了我自己 我肯定也考不过 |
| [20:19] | But, look, when you were talking about me and Judy just now, | 但当你刚才谈到我和朱迪时 |
| [20:22] | you seemed kind of weird, and– | 你看起来怪怪的 |
| [20:24] | Oh, hey, I just had a weird moment yesterday | 我只是昨天突然有一刻感觉奇怪 |
| [20:27] | when you were getting my dough wet | 当你在帮我弄湿面团时 |
| [20:28] | and I kinda got turned on, | 我好像变得有点性奋 |
| [20:30] | sort of thought I liked you. Yeah, gross, right? | 有点觉得自己喜欢你 很恶心对吧 |
| [20:33] | Oh, right, yeah. Totally gross. | 对啊 超级恶心 |
| [20:36] | Anyway, dude, we’re just bros. | 总而言之 我们是哥儿们 |
| [20:39] | Okay, bro, but just so you know, | 好吧 哥们 但我要告诉你 |
| [20:42] | nothing happened between me and Judy last night. | 昨晚我和朱迪什么事都没干 |
| [20:44] | That’s lame– if you like a girl, | 太逊了吧 如果你喜欢一个女生 |
| [20:46] | you should just grab her and kiss her. | 你应该紧紧抱住她 亲她 |
| [20:48] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [20:54] | Was that weird? | 这会让你觉得奇怪吗 |
| [20:55] | Yeah. And I liked it. | 会 不过我喜欢 |
| [20:59] | Max, come on! | 麦克斯 快走 |
| [21:01] | Sorry to interrupt, | 抱歉打扰了 |
| [21:02] | but we’re supposed to evacuate the building. | 但所有人都应该撤离这栋楼 |
| [21:05] | There’s no fire. Deke pulled the alarm. | 没着火啦 是迪克拉响的警报 |
| [21:07] | I wanted to kiss her. | 我想亲她而已 |
| [21:10] | Yeah. Turns out he’s into dudes. | 对啊 结果发现他喜欢基情 |