| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Stealing Han’s dishes | 把阿憨的盘子偷回家 |
| [00:02] | so we don’t have to clean ours at home is genius. | 我们的就不用洗了 这做法太聪明了 |
| [00:06] | And a little sad. | 同时也有点小可悲 |
| [00:09] | Are you kidding? | 开什么玩笑 |
| [00:09] | This is the greatest thing that’s happened to me | 这是早上来大姨妈后 |
| [00:11] | Since I got my period this morning. | 发生在我身上最棒的事情了 |
| [00:14] | Max, Caroline, you’re stealing my dishes? | 麦克斯 卡洛琳 你们居然偷我的盘子 |
| [00:17] | Damn it, I didn’t think you could see up this high. | 靠 我还以为这么高你会看不见呢 |
| [00:21] | And I didn’t think you could sink this low. | 我也以为这么低贱的事你们干不出来呢 |
| [00:24] | Okay, stop, you’re already robbing me blind | 住手 我们已经用”我是个服务员”的把戏 |
| [00:25] | with your “I’m a waitress” scam. | 骗走我很多钱了 |
| [00:28] | Sorry, but things have gotten kind of messy at home. | 抱歉嘛 但最近我们家里有点脏乱 |
| [00:31] | Yesterday, I had to take a shower | 昨天我得洗第二次澡 |
| [00:32] | to shower off the shower I took. | 才洗干净我第一次洗澡时弄脏的 |
| [00:36] | You two should get a cleaning lady. | 你们俩应该请个清洁工 |
| [00:37] | I have a woman I pay to clean my apartment. | 我有花钱请个妞来帮我打扫公寓 |
| [00:40] | She is expensive, but she may charge you less | 她收费挺高的 但如果不包括上床的话 |
| [00:42] | if you don’t also have sex on her. | 她可能会少收一点 |
| [00:52] | I’ll look into it. | 我帮你们问问看吧 |
| [00:54] | My grandmother cleaned the house free of charge. | 我奶奶以前打扫房子都不要钱 |
| [00:57] | Of course she didn’t have a say in the matter. | 当然不是她不要 而是没人给 |
| [01:02] | Let’s just ask Sophie. She has a cleaning service. | 我们问问苏菲把 她有个清洁公司 |
| [01:05] | We have to do something. | 我们必须得采取行动了 |
| [01:06] | Yesterday, I saw a roach walk out of our apartment. | 昨天我看见一只蟑螂爬出了我们的公寓 |
| [01:10] | Look. | 听着 |
| [01:11] | I’m gonna tell you what I told that guy | 对于此事 我的回答就跟有人曾问我 |
| [01:13] | who asked me to use my butt to smuggle opium. | 能否用我的屁股帮他走私鸦片时一样 |
| [01:16] | I’ll do it! | 当然好啦 |
| [01:36] | Be ready, Max. | 快准备好 麦克斯 |
| [01:37] | We have to leave as soon as the cleaning lady gets here. | 等清洁工一到 我们就得走啦 |
| [01:40] | It’s housekeeper etiquette. | 这是屋主不成文的规矩 |
| [01:41] | In my old life, I go to spin class and lunch with friends, | 我以前会去健身馆上单车课 然后跟朋友吃午饭 |
| [01:43] | but you and I will just go outside | 但现在我们只能去外面 |
| [01:45] | and watch the guy who just got out of jail | 看那个刚从监狱放出来的家伙 |
| [01:47] | do pull-ups on the light post. | 在灯柱上做引体向上 |
| [01:50] | Calvin’s out? | 卡尔文出狱了吗 |
| [01:54] | I’m not gonna leave. | 我才不会走 |
| [01:55] | I want to watch her clean up my mess. | 我要看着她收拾我弄的烂摊子 |
| [02:01] | Yeah, baby. | 没错 宝贝 |
| [02:03] | I’ve waited my whole life to have a servant. | 我等了一辈子 终于等来个仆人了 |
| [02:06] | I thought you were gonna be it for the first few weeks | 开始那几周 我以为你会成为我的仆人 |
| [02:08] | and then I realized you can’t do anything. | 但后来我发现你什么都不会做 |
| [02:12] | And even though Sophie gave us a discount, | 即使苏菲给我们打了个折 |
| [02:14] | the maid still has to call me “Your highness.” | 那女仆还是得称我为”殿下”[高] |
| [02:17] | Mostly because I’m pretty “highness” right now. | 主要因为我现在抽大麻嗨”高”了 |
| [02:21] | Hi, girls. | 姑娘们 |
| [02:24] | Here I am. | 我来啦 |
| [02:25] | Sophie from Sophie’s choice cleaning service. | “苏菲的选择清洁公司”的苏菲 |
| [02:28] | Meet your cleaning lady Paulina. | 这位是你们的清洁工 宝琳娜 |
| [02:30] | Paulina, meet the girls. | 宝琳娜 这两位是屋主 |
| [02:34] | She’d shake hands, but she only has one arm. | 她也想握手 但她只有一条胳膊 |
| [02:38] | Sophie, she can hear you. | 苏菲 她能听到你说话 |
| [02:40] | So what? I know I’m missing arm. | 那又怎么样 我知道我少了条胳膊 |
| [02:42] | It’s not news. | 这又不是什么新闻 |
| [02:44] | So she lost an arm. | 她不就是丢了条胳膊嘛 |
| [02:45] | I lost my gold earring down the garbage disposal | 我的金耳环还丢在垃圾处理机了呢 |
| [02:48] | but I was too afraid to reach into it | 但我不敢伸手去拿 |
| [02:50] | Because, well, yeah. | 因为 你们懂的 |
| [03:00] | Don’t worry. | 别担心 |
| [03:01] | I have one arm but I clean like I have three. | 打扫起来 我一条胳膊顶三条用 |
| [03:05] | I put on more makeup, then I start. | 我去补补妆 然后就开始干活 |
| [03:07] | I’m sorry. | 不好意思 |
| [03:08] | I didn’t realize when I ordered a cleaning lady | 我真不知道请清洁工时 |
| [03:10] | I had to specify I wanted one with two arms. | 还得特地说明我要两只手都能干活的 |
| [03:13] | You can’t afford two arms. | 两条胳膊的你请不起 |
| [03:16] | You said you wanted a good price. | 你说了要便宜点 |
| [03:18] | Half the arms, half the price. | 所以一条胳膊 一半价格 |
| [03:21] | Is that how she lost the arm, Sophie? | 所以她那条胳膊才没的吧 苏菲 |
| [03:23] | You cut it off so we could get a discount? | 你为了给我们打折 所以打折了她的胳膊 |
| [03:25] | Oh, yeah, sure. | 是啊 没错 |
| [03:26] | Yeah, I sawed off her arm so I could save you 10 bucks. | 我把她的胳膊锯下来 只为了给你们省10块钱 |
| [03:32] | I start in bedroom. | 我先从卧室开始 |
| [03:34] | Wait, before you do, one question. | 慢着 在开工前问你个问题 |
| [03:35] | How’d you lose it? James Franco situation? | 你的胳膊怎么没的 像詹姆斯・弗兰科那样吗 |
| [03:35] | 詹姆斯・弗兰科在电影《127小时》中 被困在峡谷里不得不割断自己胳膊以逃生 | |
| [03:38] | You had to cut it off to get loose? | 为了逃命必须把胳膊割断吗 |
| [03:41] | You’re not saying no. | 沉默等于默认 |
| [03:43] | Oh, you know what, let’s not go there. | 算了吧 还是不要深究了 |
| [03:45] | You know, it happened, it was in the past. | 都发生了 就让它过去吧 |
| [03:48] | I was trapped under this big truck. | 我被困在一辆大卡车下 |
| [03:50] | We get it. | 知道啦 |
| [03:52] | I drove over your arm. | 是我从你胳膊上碾了过去 |
| [03:58] | Hey, don’t even bother looking for my good jewelry in there | 别费力气去卧室翻我的好首饰了 |
| [04:01] | because I’m already wearing all of it. | 因为我已经全部戴在身上了 |
| [04:05] | Oh, I’m jealous I don’t have arm | 真是羡慕死我了 我居然没有胳膊 |
| [04:08] | to wear cheap jewelry. | 戴这种廉价的首饰 |
| [04:15] | Max, I feel bad for her. | 麦克斯 我觉得她很可怜 |
| [04:17] | See? This is why you leave. | 瞧 这就是我们要离开的原因 |
| [04:18] | In case they show up with too much makeup | 以防清洁工妆太浓 |
| [04:19] | and not enough arms. | 而胳膊太少 |
| [04:21] | Relax, she’s tough. | 放心 她很坚强 |
| [04:22] | Reminds me of a young me. | 让我想起年轻的我 |
| [04:25] | Which means I better go hide my pills from her. | 也就是说我要去把药藏起来 以防她找到 |
| [04:27] | Max, don’t leave, she scares me. | 麦克斯 别走 我怕她 |
| [04:29] | Oh, come on, she’s armless. | 拜托 她没有手[武器]好吗 |
| [04:36] | Everything okay? You need any help? | 一切顺利吗 需要帮忙吗 |
| [04:38] | I didn’t get this far in this business by taking help. | 我在打扫这行能有今天 可不是靠别人帮忙的 |
| [04:44] | Help me! Can’t you see I got one arm? | 帮帮我 你没看见我只有一条胳膊 |
| [04:48] | Not gonna be a problem. | 没问题 |
| [04:49] | I would occasionally help my maid– | 我偶尔也会帮我的女仆 |
| [04:51] | You’re not interested. | 你不想听是吧 |
| [04:53] | Lift! | 抬起来 |
| [04:54] | Lift, weak girl. Lift. | 使劲 小弱鸡 抬起来 |
| [04:56] | Max, come here. We need help lifting your mattress. | 麦克斯 过来 我们要把你的床垫抬起来 |
| [04:59] | Can you give us a hand? | 你能帮我们一把吗 |
| [05:00] | No! Leave it alone! Leave it alone! | 不 别抬 放下来 |
| [05:02] | Don’t lift up the mattress! | 不要把床垫抬起来 |
| [05:04] | Ah, porno. | 黄书 |
| [05:08] | Your mind is as dirty as your apartment! | 你的思想跟你的公寓一样脏 |
| [05:12] | Yes, it’s porn. So what? What’s the big deal? | 是黄书怎么样 有什么大不了的 |
| [05:14] | It’s just the body in its natural form, | 那不过是人类正常的肉体 |
| [05:16] | spread-eagle on a motorcycle. | 在摩托车上叉开腿卖骚而已 |
| [05:20] | Why is so much of it from the 80’s? | 为什么大部分人看着都像80年代的啊 |
| [05:21] | I like mustaches, okay? | 我喜欢小胡子 可以了吗 |
| [05:24] | And it’s multitasking. I’m looking for my father. | 而且我还有另一项任务 就是寻找我的生父 |
| [05:26] | Stop looking. Stop looking right now. | 别看了 不许看了 |
| [05:29] | Why are you suddenly embarrassed? | 你干嘛突然不好意思啊 |
| [05:30] | Porn Hub is your homepage. | 你的主页就是”色情之家” |
| [05:30] | 世界上最出名的色情网站 | |
| [05:33] | Hey, is this a brochure for pastry school? | 这是烘焙学校的宣传册吗 |
| [05:37] | Why are you hiding a pastry school brochure? | 你为什么要把烘焙学校的宣传册藏起来 |
| [05:40] | Your face is a pastry school brochure! | 你妹才藏烘焙学校的宣传册呢 |
| [05:44] | Max, it’s great you’re interested in pastry school. | 麦克斯 你对烘焙学校感兴趣很好啊 |
| [05:47] | I don’t know why you’re embarrassed. | 为什么你要不好意思呢 |
| [05:48] | Your face is embarrassed! | 你妹才不好意思呢 |
| [05:50] | Come on, I really think that this is | 别这样嘛 我真的觉得 |
| [05:51] | something we should talk about. | 我们该好好谈谈这事 |
| [05:53] | Your face is something we should talk about! | 你妹才要跟你谈呢 |
| [05:56] | You made the scary one mad. | 你把吓人的妞气跑了 |
| [05:59] | That was dumb move. | 真是愚蠢之极啊 |
| [06:00] | Your face was a dumb move! | 你妹才愚蠢之极呢 |
| [06:08] | Max? | 麦克斯 |
| [06:09] | Max, you never came home after you stormed out, | 麦克斯 你冲出去就再也没有回来 |
| [06:10] | so I brought you your uniform. | 所以我把你的制服带来了 |
| [06:12] | Max? | 麦克斯 |
| [06:15] | I live here now. | 老娘现在住这里了 |
| [06:17] | My new roommates, the broom and the mop, | 我的新室友 扫把和拖把 |
| [06:20] | don’t sneak around looking at my stuff. | 不会鬼鬼祟祟乱翻我的东西 |
| [06:23] | I got everything I need. | 这里什么都有 |
| [06:24] | Whiskey, toothbrush, toothpaste. | 威士忌 牙刷 牙膏 |
| [06:27] | Well, maybe your new broommate | 或许你的扫把室友 |
| [06:30] | will hold back your hair when you drink too much. | 会在你喝醉狂吐时 把你的头发往后拉 |
| [06:32] | Which, from the looks of it, will be in about an hour. | 依你现在的状态看 离狂吐还有不到一小时 |
| [06:35] | Max, we really need to talk about this brochure. | 麦克斯 我们真的谈谈这本宣传册 |
| [06:37] | Look, just because I have a pastry school brochure | 就因为我有一本烘焙学校的宣传册 |
| [06:40] | doesn’t mean I’m actually gonna go to pastry school. | 并不意味着我真的想去 |
| [06:43] | Just like having those porn magazines | 就像我有很多黄书 |
| [06:44] | doesn’t mean I’m actually gonna ride around on a tiger | 也不意味着我会真的骑着一只老虎 |
| [06:47] | performing unspeakable acts with sailors, probably. | 跟水手们做一些很黄很暴力的行为 大概不会吧 |
| [06:52] | Pastry school is the same as porn. | 烘焙学校就跟黄书一样 |
| [06:54] | It’s just a dumb fantasy. | 不过是愚蠢意淫而已 |
| [06:55] | Pastry school is not like porn. | 烘焙学校才不像黄书 |
| [06:57] | There is nothing in this brochure about a girl-on-girl croissant | 这本宣传册上完全没有提及”女女合欢”羊角面包 |
| [07:02] | That’s good toothpaste. | 这牙膏真不错 |
| [07:05] | Please stop brushing your teeth. | 拜托别拿酒刷牙了 |
| [07:06] | We have a shift to do later. | 我们晚点还要上班呢 |
| [07:08] | Okay, the Manhattan school of pastry– | 曼哈顿的烘培学校 |
| [07:10] | Your face is the Manhattan school of pastry. | 你妹才是曼哈顿的烘培学校 |
| [07:13] | You know it isn’t. | 我也希望是 |
| [07:15] | Max, you could go here for real. | 麦克斯 你真的可以去上 |
| [07:17] | Tuition is only $3,000 a year. A lot, but doable. | 学费一年才三千 虽然很多 但上得起 |
| [07:20] | A lot but doable? | 虽然很多 但上得起 |
| [07:22] | Are we talking about pastry school or fat guy at last call? | 我们说的是烘焙学校 还是快打烊时使劲点餐的胖子 |
| [07:36] | Here we are, Max. Your dream starts now. | 我们到了 麦克斯 你的梦想从现在开始 |
| [07:38] | What, the one where I’m a black mermaid? | 我要变成黑色美人鱼了吗 |
| [07:41] | Would you relax? | 放松点行吗 |
| [07:42] | We’re just gonna look around and get an application. | 我们就四处看看 然后拿份申请表 |
| [07:45] | See all that gorgeous equipment you get to use if you went here? | 如果你来这学习 就能用所有这些高档的设备 |
| [07:49] | Finally you’d have a mixing bowl | 你终于要有一个真正的搅拌碗了 |
| [07:50] | that’s not a hollowed-out watermelon. | 而不是中间挖空的西瓜 |
| [07:53] | Can you help me? | 能救救我吗 |
| [07:53] | She’s holding me against my will. | 我是被她挟持的人质 |
| [07:56] | She’s kidding. | 她开玩笑呢 |
| [07:58] | If you keep this up, young lady, | 小姑娘 如果你一直这样 |
| [07:59] | you are not getting ice cream after. | 别想有冰淇淋吃 |
| [08:01] | Fine! | 好啦 |
| [08:03] | Come on, here’s the office. | 过来 办公室在这 |
| [08:05] | Whatever. Are we almost done here? | 随便啦 完事了没啊 |
| [08:06] | I got a court date later. | 我等下要出庭受审呢 |
| [08:09] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [08:10] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [08:11] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [08:13] | Hi. | 你好 |
| [08:16] | I’m not sure we’re in the right place. | 我不确定我们是否来对地方了 |
| [08:18] | Are any of us really? | 我们仨都没来对吗 |
| [08:22] | We’d like an application. Could you help us? | 我们想要份申请表 你可以帮个忙吗 |
| [08:24] | Oh, god, I hope so. | 天啊 希望可以 |
| [08:27] | I wasn’t expecting something this high-pressure | 我没想到第一天回来 就会碰到 |
| [08:29] | my first day back. | 这么高强度的工作 |
| [08:31] | Let’s just say I’ve been under observation at the nuthouse. | 我之前在精神病院留院观察了一段时间 |
| [08:36] | Okay, application. | 好的 申请表是吧 |
| [08:39] | It’s for Max, here. | 是麦克斯要的 |
| [08:40] | She was very impressed by your brochure. | 你们的宣传册给她留下深刻的印象 |
| [08:42] | Oh, pastry school. Exciting, right? | 烘焙学校 令人兴奋 对吧 |
| [08:45] | I was a chef here once. And then I wasn’t. | 我曾是一位大厨 但后来就不是了 |
| [08:54] | Oh, look. Found the application. | 瞧 找到申请表了 |
| [08:56] | Really didn’t think I was gonna be able to handle that. | 真的没想到我能处理好这件事 |
| [08:59] | Bebe, if you– | 碧碧 如果你… |
| [09:01] | Bonjour. Good morning. | 早安[法语] 早上好 |
| [09:08] | Chef Nicolas, these girls are here for an application. | 尼古拉斯主厨 这两位姑娘是来拿申请表的 |
| [09:10] | Don’t worry, I handled it. | 别担心 我处理好了 |
| [09:12] | Almost didn’t, then I did. | 差点失败 但我成功了 |
| [09:15] | Nice work, Bebe. | 干得好 碧碧 |
| [09:16] | Oh, do I detect a French accent? Oui? | 我好像听出来有法国口音哦 是吗 |
| [09:20] | Oh, my god, I can’t watch. | 天啊 我看不下眼了 |
| [09:23] | French, indeed. I’m chef Nicolas Saintcroix, | 其实我是法国人 我是主厨尼古拉斯・圣克劳 |
| [09:25] | Owner and head chef. Bienvenue. | 校长兼厨师长 欢迎你们 |
| [09:28] | Caroline Channing. | 我是卡洛琳・钱宁 |
| [09:33] | Is it over yet? | 你丢脸丢完了吗 |
| [09:35] | This is Max. The application’s for her. | 这是麦克斯 是她要申请你们学校 |
| [09:37] | ‘Sup, Frenchie? You eat snails? | 你好 法国佬 你吃蜗牛吗 |
| [09:39] | It looks like bebe forgot the second page. | 貌似碧碧忘了给你们第二页了 |
| [09:41] | Oh, boy, forgot the second page. That’s not good. | 天啊 忘了第二页 这可不好 |
| [09:44] | I thought I handled it. Didn’t handle it. | 我以为我能处理好 但还是失败了 |
| [09:46] | It’s okay, Bebe. Breathe in. | 没关系 碧碧 吸气 |
| [09:50] | Breathe out. | 呼气 |
| [09:52] | That’s good stuff. | 的确是好方法 |
| [09:56] | She was quite brilliant. | 她曾经非常优秀 |
| [09:58] | Then she wasn’t. | 但后来就不优秀了 |
| [10:00] | Here. Fill that out. | 给 把这表填了 |
| [10:02] | And the next step is the pastry exam. | 下一步就是烘焙测试 |
| [10:04] | Applicants will have to make a classic tart, | 申请者要做一个经典的水果塔 |
| [10:06] | bring them in tomorrow for me to taste, | 明天拿给我尝尝 |
| [10:08] | and we will go from there. Sound good? | 然后再决定录用与否 可以吗 |
| [10:11] | Whatever. Maybe I’ll think about it. | 随便啦 或许我会考虑下 |
| [10:13] | Okay, well, maybe you will. | 好吧 或许你会 |
| [10:16] | Nice meeting you both. | 很高兴见到你们俩 |
| [10:20] | Hope to see you tomorrow, chef. | 希望明天能看见你哦 大厨 |
| [10:24] | He called me chef! | 他刚叫我大厨 |
| [10:28] | – Yay! Let’s go get ice cream! – No! | -太棒了 咱们去买冰淇淋吧 -不行 |
| [10:30] | You should get started on that tart. | 你应该开始做水果塔 |
| [10:31] | It’s due tomorrow. | 明天就要交了 |
| [10:33] | I got plenty of time. | 我有大把时间呢 |
| [10:34] | Besides, pressure ups my game. | 再说了 有压力才会有动力 |
| [10:36] | I perform my best when there’s a gun to my head. | 当有人拿枪指着我的头时 我会做得更好 |
| [10:38] | Ask any of my ex-boyfriends. | 不信问我以前的男朋友 |
| [10:40] | This is so not how I prepare for tests. | 我可不会这么对待我的考试[检查] |
| [10:42] | I studied three weeks for a pap smear. | 就连子宫颈抹片检查 我都得先研究三周 |
| [10:47] | Don’t worry, I got this. | 别担心 我能行 |
| [10:51] | A tart’s just like a cookie with some pudding on it, right? | 水果塔就是往饼干上放点布丁 对吧 |
| [11:04] | Max, what is going on in here? | 麦克斯 这里是什么情况 |
| [11:06] | Turns out a tart’s more than a cookie with some pudding on it! | 原来水果塔不止往饼干上放点布丁那么简单 |
| [11:11] | You’ve been in here six hours. You said you had this. | 你都在里面六小时了 你说过你能行的 |
| [11:14] | I thought I had this! Turns out I don’t! | 我以为我能行 但原来我不行 |
| [11:16] | I haven’t even finished a shell. | 我甚至连塔皮都没做出来 |
| [11:18] | I didn’t know there was a shell. Did you know there was a shell? | 我都不知道到底有没有塔皮 你觉得有吗 |
| [11:21] | Everybody knows there’s a shell! | 水果塔当然有塔皮啦 |
| [11:23] | What the shell is wrong with you? | 你的脑子怎么了 也没皮了吗 |
| [11:25] | I’m a tart who can’t make a tart! | 我是一个不会做水果塔的贱人[tart一词多义] |
| [11:29] | You could’ve made nine shells by now. | 到现在你早应该做出九个塔皮了 |
| [11:31] | I did. They’re all in here. Look. | 我做了啊 它们都在这呢 看 |
| [11:34] | It’s like Shell-Mageddon! | 这就是”死亡塔皮” |
| [11:34] | 源自一款名为《死亡赛车 Carmageddon》的赛车游戏 玩家可以任意辗压过路行人 游戏画面血腥暴力 | |
| [11:37] | Oh, screw it. This one’s gonna be there in a minute. | 不管了 反正这个等下也要进垃圾桶 |
| [11:39] | Let’s just get it over with. | 还不如先扔进去呢 |
| [11:40] | No, you can do this. Here. Here. | 不 你不能这样做 来 |
| [11:42] | This still looks ready to go. | 这个看起来还不错 |
| [11:44] | Look at me. Look at me. I’m a waste of two arms. | 看看我 真是白瞎了我有两条胳膊 |
| [11:51] | I can’t make a tart! | 我连水果塔都做不出来 |
| [11:52] | How’s the tart coming? | 水果塔做得怎么样了 |
| [11:57] | Han, you’re not safe. Leave. | 阿憨 这里不安全 快走 |
| [11:59] | You haven’t even finished the shell? | 你连塔皮还没有做出来 |
| [12:01] | That’s the easiest part! | 这可是最简单的部分啊 |
| [12:03] | Han, this is your face. | 阿憨 这是你的脸 |
| [12:07] | Well, I should get going. | 好吧 我还是走吧 |
| [12:09] | I didn’t know she could take bitch to the next level. | 真不知道她能把坏脾气上升到暴力事件 |
| [12:17] | I am so screwed! | 我彻底完了 |
| [12:18] | I finally found a situation my boobs can’t get me out of! | 终于出现一种情况 不能靠我的大胸过关了 |
| [12:22] | Hey, Max. Now, I have all the faith in the world in you. | 麦克斯 我对你超级有信心 |
| [12:26] | But here’s a tart from Stop ‘n Shop | 但这是我从便利店买来的水果塔 |
| [12:28] | in case you wanted to hand this one in. | 以备明天不时之需 |
| [12:30] | No, Earl. Max is not a cheater. | 不行 厄尔 麦克斯从不骗人 |
| [12:32] | Since when? | 谁说的 |
| [12:35] | She is going to make her own tart. | 她要靠自己做出水果塔 |
| [12:37] | You, out. | 你 出去 |
| [12:41] | I am never gonna make this shell. | 我肯定做不出塔皮 |
| [12:42] | I can’t even get it in the pan right. | 我连放到盘里都放不对 |
| [12:44] | Max, that looks right. | 麦克斯 你放对了 |
| [12:46] | Oh, my god! I got it in the pan right! | 天啊 我放对了 |
| [12:48] | – I can do this! – You did it! I knew it! | -我可以做到 -你做到了 我就知道 |
| [12:50] | I helped you. We’re besties. | 我帮了你 我们是好闺蜜 |
| [12:51] | – You’re not safe. Leave. – Okay. | -这里不安全 快走 -遵命 |
| [13:05] | I’m telling you, Max, I’ve tasted a lot of tarts, | 告诉你 麦克斯 我吃过这么多水果塔[浪女] |
| [13:07] | and yours is delicious. | 你的最好吃 |
| [13:09] | You are not the first man to tell me that. | 你不是第一个这么说的人 |
| [13:12] | The first man to tell me that is in jail. | 第一个这么说的人 现在在蹲牢子呢 |
| [13:16] | Here he comes. | 他来了 |
| [13:16] | Look at him. Here he comes. | 快看 他来了 |
| [13:20] | Afternoon, ladies. | 下午好 女士们 |
| [13:21] | Bien fondue, Eiffel tower. | 芝士火锅[法语] 艾菲尔铁塔 |
| [13:25] | Okay. | 好的 |
| [13:26] | Thank you for coming. Shall we begin the tasting? | 感谢你们的到来 可以开始试吃了吗 |
| [13:29] | This is exciting, huh? | 真令人兴奋 对吧 |
| [13:34] | Keep it in your pants. | 勒紧你的裤子 |
| [13:37] | And now for the tart. | 这是水果塔 |
| [13:38] | It’s Max’s first ever. | 这是麦克斯第一次做 |
| [13:39] | I ate a slice earlier and it was like | 我之前吃了一小块 |
| [13:40] | having a little piece of heaven. | 尝起来宛若天堂啊 |
| [13:45] | Don’t do anything you’re doing. | 快给我闭嘴 |
| [13:48] | It’s flaky, creamy… | 塔皮薄 里馅滑 |
| [13:51] | For a first attempt, I am very impressed. | 第一次就能做成这样 我很惊讶 |
| [13:53] | Don’t be. I made a tart. | 别惊讶 我不过做了个水果塔 |
| [13:56] | It’s not like I cured herpes | 又不是治愈了疱疹 |
| [13:57] | or invented a reverse microwave to instantly chill sodas. | 或是发明了能立刻冷冻苏打水的逆向微波炉 |
| [14:02] | Okay, Max. | 好的 麦克斯 |
| [14:03] | I will talk it over with my faculty | 我和其他教员商量一下 |
| [14:06] | and we will let you know. | 你们回去等通知吧 |
| [14:07] | I’ll let you know. | 你也等我通知吧 |
| [14:11] | Nailed that. | 成功啦 |
| [14:18] | Max! | 麦克斯 |
| [14:19] | Stop stealing my things! You got a cleaning lady! | 别偷我的东西了 你已经有清洁工了 |
| [14:22] | Relax. I am returning what I took. | 放心 我是来还东西的 |
| [14:24] | Here’s your plates. | 这是你的盘子 |
| [14:26] | Oh, and here’s your ATM card. I lifted it from your wallet. | 这是你的银行卡 我从你钱包拿的 |
| [14:30] | Oh, and here’s your wallet. | 对了 这是你的钱包 |
| [14:33] | There was $40 in here. | 里面不是有四十块吗 |
| [14:35] | There sure was. | 那是以前的事了 |
| [14:38] | At least give me back my gift card from Sephora. | 至少把我丝芙兰的礼品卡还给我吧 |
| [14:43] | Caroline, Han wants his Sephora gift card back. | 卡洛琳 阿憨想要回他丝芙兰的礼品卡 |
| [14:45] | Oh, that’s not happening. It’s already on my face. | 要不回来了 全用在我脸上了 |
| [14:49] | Max, look, it’s from the pastry school. | 麦克斯 烘焙学校寄来的信 |
| [14:51] | My acceptance letter! | 我的录取通知书 |
| [14:53] | Lot of people talking about my chili in that bathroom. | 厕所里有很多人在讨论我做的辣椒啊 |
| [14:58] | Oleg, come here. Han, Earl, stay. | 奥列格过来 阿憨和厄尔待在原地 |
| [15:01] | You guys are about to owe me big. | 你们都要感谢我 |
| [15:03] | I am gonna let you witness something extremely rare. | 因为我要让你们见证一件极其罕见的事 |
| [15:06] | More rare than a sighting of bigfoot or a UFO or Han’s penis. | 比看见大脚怪 UFO还有阿憨的小鸡鸡还罕见哦 |
| [15:11] | You held me here so I could hear that? | 你不让我走 是为了让我听这句话吗 |
| [15:14] | Behold, the rarest sight of them all. | 各位观众 全世界最罕见的事情 |
| [15:16] | You are about to see something good actually happen to me. | 你们即将看见有好事要发生在我身上 |
| [15:19] | Listen to this. | 注意听啦 |
| [15:21] | “Dear Ms. Black, after careful consideration | “亲爱的布莱克小姐 在对众多申请者 |
| [15:23] | of our large pool of applicants, | 进行深思熟虑之后 |
| [15:25] | we regret to inform you…” | 我们抱歉地通知你” |
| [15:28] | Oh, I guess I didn’t get in. | 我猜我没被录取 |
| [15:35] | Looking back, we probably should have insisted | 回头想想 我们当初应该坚持 |
| [15:37] | she read that to herself first. | 让她自己看那封信就好 |
| [15:41] | I know why she didn’t get in. Her name. | 我知道她没被录取是因为她的姓 |
| [15:43] | They saw the word “Black” and stopped reading. | 他们一看见”布莱克[黑]”这个词 就把申请表扔一边了 |
| [15:48] | That’s why I didn’t get into law school. | 这就是为什么我没被法学院录取 |
| [15:50] | I also didn’t apply. | 当然我也懒得申请 |
| [15:54] | This is terrible. I’m gonna go see if she’s okay. | 这太糟糕了 我去看看她还好吗 |
| [15:56] | Who does that French frog think he is? | 那只法国青蛙以为自己是谁啊 |
| [15:59] | He thinks he can have the time of his life tasting my tart | 他觉得在品尝完我的水果塔后 |
| [16:01] | and then never see me again? | 就可以拍拍屁股走人吗 |
| [16:04] | He won’t let me into his school? | 他的学校不录取我 |
| [16:06] | Well, I won’t take no for an answer. | 我不允许别人拒绝我 |
| [16:08] | I am going down there right now | 我现在就杀过去 |
| [16:09] | and giving him a piece of my mind. | 告诉他我的真实想法 |
| [16:11] | I am storming out. | 气死我了 |
| [16:14] | And I am storming back in. | 我又死回来了 |
| [16:16] | It is dark outside. That school’s not open. | 天黑了 学校不开门 |
| [16:24] | Hey, you. | 喂 就是你 |
| [16:25] | Tart tease, we need a word. | 水果塔混球 我有话跟你说 |
| [16:27] | – Oh, boy. – What? | -天啊 -怎么了 |
| [16:29] | You love my pastries and then regret to inform me | 你说你喜欢我的水果塔 然后抱歉地通知我 |
| [16:32] | I’m not good enough for your school? | 我不够格念你的学校 |
| [16:33] | Well, I regret to inform you that I am good enough | 我抱歉地通知你 我绝对够格 |
| [16:36] | and I want to know why you won’t let me in here. | 我想知道你不录取我的原因 |
| [16:38] | Okay, uh, your voice is an anxiety trigger for me. | 你的声音会触发我的焦虑症 |
| [16:42] | I’m going to have to remove myself from the situation | 现在这状况不适合我 我要离开这里 |
| [16:45] | and go sit in the hallway. | 去走廊坐着 |
| [16:48] | Can you come with me? You have a very calming presence. | 你能陪我去吗 你的存在能安抚人心 |
| [16:52] | Thank you. So few people think that about me. | 谢谢 很少有人会这么觉得 |
| [16:55] | But I should stay with Max. | 但我应该陪着麦克斯 |
| [16:56] | No, I got this handled. You can have her. | 去吧 我能处理好 你可以带她走 |
| [16:58] | This is the last time you give me to someone. | 这是你最后一次把我扔给别人 |
| [17:02] | Max, your tart was excellent. | 麦克斯 你的水果塔做得很棒 |
| [17:05] | The problem was your attitude. | 但问题在于你的态度 |
| [17:07] | You showed no passion of wanting to be in this school. | 你对这个学校没表现出半点热忱 |
| [17:10] | And that is why you didn’t get in. | 这就是你没被录取的原因 |
| [17:13] | It seemed like you didn’t want it. | 因为你看上去并不想来这 |
| [17:15] | No, no, no, that’s just my attitude. | 不 我对什么事都是这态度 |
| [17:18] | I act like I don’t want anything | 我表现得我不喜欢任何事物 |
| [17:19] | because I never got anything I wanted. | 是因为我从来没得到过我想要的 |
| [17:21] | But I do want to go to this school | 但我的确很想来这个学校 |
| [17:23] | more than I’ve ever wanted anything. | 超越我以前所有热忱 |
| [17:25] | It’s my fantasy and my dream, | 这是我的幻想 也是我的梦想 |
| [17:27] | and please stop making me use these horrible, horrible words! | 拜托不要再让我继续说这些恶心的词了 |
| [17:31] | Just let me in, okay? | 求求你 录取我吧 |
| [17:34] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:42] | – Wait, for real? – Yes. | -等等 真的吗 -真的 |
| [17:45] | I needed to see if your passion was as good as your pastry | 我只想看看你的热忱是不是跟你的水果塔一样棒 |
| [17:48] | and you just showed me it was. | 而你已经表现给我看了 |
| [17:51] | I’m thrilled to have you on board, chef. | 非常高兴你加入我们 大厨 |
| [17:53] | Thanks, chef. | 谢谢 主厨 |
| [17:57] | Bebe is having a panic attack and needs to hold her lemon. | 碧碧恐慌症发作 她说要抱她的柠檬 |
| [17:59] | lemon在同人小说中 指明显的性描写 | |
| [17:59] | Has anyone seen her lemon? | 有人见过她的柠檬吗 |
| [18:02] | Caroline, he let me in. I’m going to pastry school. | 卡洛琳 他录取我了 我要上烘焙学校啦 |
| [18:04] | Everybody has to call me “Chef” now! | 从现在开始 人人都得叫我”大厨” |
| [18:06] | You did it, chef! | 你成功了 大厨 |
| [18:08] | You’re going to the pastry school from the brochure! | 你被宣传册上的烘焙学校录取了 |
| [18:10] | Aren’t you glad I looked at your porn? | 你是不是该高兴我看了你的黄书啊 |
| [18:15] | We’re roommates. Both single. Quelle surprise. | 我们是室友 都是单身 很惊喜吧 |
| [18:21] | So Max, once you fill out these, | 麦克斯 只要把表填了 |
| [18:23] | you will be officially enrolled. | 你就算正式人学了 |
| [18:25] | And of course we will need your tuition check. | 当然你还得先交学费 |
| [18:27] | Yup. $3,000. It’s a lot for us. | 三千块嘛 这对我们来说是一大笔钱 |
| [18:29] | But if we make some cutbacks, 1/2-ply toilet paper. | 但我们可以削减开支 厕纸省着用好了 |
| [18:32] | Who am I kidding? No toilet paper, diner napkins. | 开什么玩笑 厕纸和餐巾纸都不要了 |
| [18:36] | No, tuition is 24,000. | 不 学费是两万四 |
| [18:40] | But the brochure said $3,000 a year. | 但宣传册上是写一年三千啊 |
| [18:42] | You misread it. It’s $3,000 a unit. | 你看错了 是一课时三千 |
| [18:45] | There is eight units per year. 24,000. | 一年有八个课时呢 一共是两万四 |
| [18:49] | It costs $24,000? | 学费要两万四 |
| [18:52] | We can’t pay that. | 这我们可付不起 |
| [18:54] | Oh, my god, now I’m never gonna be able to come here | 天啊 我再也不能来这里了 |
| [18:56] | and I just admitted I wanted to! | 而我刚才却承认了我很想来 |
| [18:57] | I take back everything I ever said about wanting anything. | 我收回我刚说的话 我什么也不想要 |
| [19:00] | Max, you can’t just storm out. | 麦克斯 你不能就这么一走了之 |
| [19:02] | Your face can’t just storm out! | 你妹才一走了之 |
| [19:06] | Look, I will do anything for that girl to go to this school. | 为了让她上学 我愿意做一切事情 |
| [19:09] | In exchange for tuition, I could work in the office. | 我可以在办公室帮忙 以换取学费 |
| [19:11] | Bebe clearly needs someone to help take the pressure off | 碧碧显然需要人来帮她解除压力 |
| [19:14] | And who better than a mentally stable | 我是沃顿毕业 而且精神稳定 |
| [19:15] | Wharton graduate like myself? | 没有比我更合适的人选了 |
| [19:17] | But I’ll do anything. | 但我什么都愿意干 |
| [19:18] | I’ll even wash your floors, okay? | 甚至连洗地板都行 |
| [19:20] | Although I’m sure there’s something better than that. | 虽然我觉得肯定有比这更好的活 |
| [19:22] | But if you need me to wash the floors, | 但如果你需要我洗地板 |
| [19:24] | I will wash the floors. | 我就洗地板 |
| [19:25] | Really would prefer to do anything else, | 虽然我更想做其他工作 |
| [19:27] | but I’ll do it, ’cause I’ll do anything | 但我还是会做 因为为了她 |
| [19:30] | to get her into this school. | 我什么都愿意做 |
| [19:31] | Please no floors. | 拜托不要让我洗地板 |
| [19:34] | Okay, I will talk it over with my staff | 好吧 我和其他员工商量一下 |
| [19:36] | and I will let you know. | 你回去等通知吧 |
| [19:38] | Oh, no, no. | 不 不行 |
| [19:39] | I’ve seen what happens | 我知道你那句 |
| [19:40] | when you give people the “I’ll let you know.” | “回去等通知”的后果 |
| [19:41] | I’m not going anywhere until you let me know to my face. | 我哪儿不去 直到你当面告诉我 |
| [19:44] | With your face. Your beautiful, beautiful face. | 用你那张帅气迷人的脸蛋告诉我 |
| [19:57] | Max, we’re not poor enough? | 麦克斯 我们还不穷吗 |
| [19:58] | You’re starting a hobo trash fire in our apartment? | 你居然在公寓里像流浪汉一样烧垃圾生火 |
| [20:02] | Yup. I’m burning my porn and pastry school brochure. | 是啊 我把黄书和烘焙学校的宣传册都烧掉 |
| [20:06] | You know, all my fantasies. | 也就是我全部的幻想 |
| [20:08] | If I learned anything in life | 我这一生中学到一件事 |
| [20:09] | it’s that nothing’s more flammable than my dreams. | 就是没有什么比我的梦想更易燃 |
| [20:13] | Are those my slipper socks in there? | 那是我的鞋袜吗 |
| [20:16] | Yeah, those needed to die too. | 是的 它们也该死 |
| [20:18] | Well, while you were in our living room | 当你在我们的客厅 |
| [20:20] | hosting a Burning Man Festival, | 举行”火人节”时 |
| [20:23] | I was at the pastry school getting us | 我在烘焙学校努力说服他们 |
| [20:25] | a work-study arrangement. | 让我们半工半学 |
| [20:27] | And… | 然后 |
| [20:31] | – You’re going to pastry school. – No way! | -你要去烘培学校啦 -不是吧 |
| [20:33] | Here you go. Your school uniform. | 给 你的校服 |
| [20:36] | This is where my name’s gonna go! | 我的名字要绣在这上面 |
| [20:38] | My chef name, Conchita Bonfire. | 我的主厨名 肯小鲍・篝火 |
| [20:42] | Thank you for this. | 谢谢你 |
| [20:44] | And for everything. | 为我做的一切 |
| [20:45] | You don’t have to thank me. | 你不用谢我 |
| [20:46] | ’cause with your new skills I’m gonna use you | 因为我以后要利用你的新技能 |
| [20:48] | like Kim uses kanye. | 就像金・卡戴珊利用坎耶那样 |
| [20:48] | 金・卡戴珊是有名的话题女王 经常会登上大小媒体的头条 其男友是美国著名饶舌歌手坎耶・韦斯特 | |
| [20:51] | Or Kanye uses Kim. I’m not sure which of them is winning. | 或像坎耶利用金・卡戴珊那样 我不确定谁搏的版面比较多 |
| [20:55] | What kind of work-study arrangement did you make for me? | 我到底要怎么半工半学法 |
| [20:58] | It’s more of a work-study arrangement for us. | 其实是我们一起半工半学 |
| [21:00] | I’ll be working in the office helping out bebe, | 我会在办公室工作 帮忙碧碧 |
| [21:02] | so I’m working, you’re studying. | 也就是我工作 你学习 |
| [21:04] | You’re working at my school? | 你居然要去人家学校工作 |
| [21:06] | Mom! | 不是吧 老妈 |