| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:01] | Max, Caroline. | 麦克斯 卡洛琳 |
| [00:03] | Look, here comes Han carrying an iPad mini. | 是阿憨拿着迷你iPad走过来 |
| [00:05] | Or is it an iPad carrying a mini Han? | 还是iPad拿着一只迷你阿憨而来啊 |
| [00:09] | Han has a mini iPad? | 阿憨居然有迷你iPad |
| [00:11] | We can’t even afford a Maxi pad. | 我们连大号卫生巾都买不起 |
| [00:11] | iPad名字里的pad也有卫生巾的意思 | |
| [00:16] | I am so upset. I’m stuck in a lie. | 好不爽 我说谎坑[困]死自己了 |
| [00:19] | Well, it’s better than the time | 那也好过你上次 |
| [00:20] | you got stuck in that backpack. | 把自己困在背包里啊 |
| [00:24] | Seriously, you guys. I’m in trouble. | 别闹了 我有麻烦了 |
| [00:25] | I just opened this email, | 我刚看到邮件 |
| [00:27] | and my mother is coming to visit. | 我妈要来看我 |
| [00:29] | You have a mother? | 原来你有妈妈啊 |
| [00:32] | I thought you came to life | 我还以为你的诞生 |
| [00:33] | after a kid in a toy store made a wish. | 是因为玩具店里某个小孩许了个愿 |
| [00:48] | Han, your mother’s coming all the way from Korea to see you. | 阿憨 你妈妈千里迢迢从韩国来看你 |
| [00:51] | Isn’t that great news? | 这不是该高兴吗 |
| [00:52] | Is this the face of great news? | 我这脸看起来像高兴吗 |
| [00:56] | See, my mother thinks I have a girlfriend. | 重点是 我妈以为我有个女朋友 |
| [00:59] | My father still thinks I wasn’t in the car | 我爸也以为我朋友 |
| [01:01] | when my friend hit that grifter in the Hamptons. | 在度假地撞死骗子的时候 我不在场啊 |
| [01:06] | She thinks I have a girlfriend | 她以为我有个女朋友 |
| [01:07] | because I might have told her I did. | 是因为我貌似有说过这话 |
| [01:09] | Did you or didn’t you? | 你是说过还是没说过 |
| [01:11] | I-I might have. | 貌似有 |
| [01:16] | And I might have sent my mother pictures of someone | 我貌似也有发了一个女人的照片给我妈 |
| [01:18] | and told her that she was the woman I’m dating. | 跟她说那就是我女朋友 |
| [01:21] | Han, you might have catfished your mom? | 阿憨 你”鲶鱼”了你妈吗 |
| [01:26] | I might have. | 貌似是吧 |
| [01:29] | Catfishing– right. | 鲶鱼嘛 我懂 |
| [01:30] | That’s when you pick up a woman in a bar, | 就是指在酒吧钓上了个妞 |
| [01:32] | and when you get her in the light, | 等带她到灯光明亮的地方时 |
| [01:33] | you realize she has whiskers. | 才发现她有长胡须 |
| [01:37] | P.S.– doesn’t bother me. | 对了 爷照”上”不误 |
| [01:41] | No, catfishing is when you pretend to be someone | “鲶鱼”是指在网上伪装成别人 |
| [01:41] | 词的来源是一部2010年的纪录片电影”鲶鱼” 讲一段从未见过面的网络情缘到最后见面的故事 | |
| [01:43] | you’re not on the internet. | 隐藏真实的自己 |
| [01:45] | You know, like everyone on the internet. | 基本网上的人都那样 |
| [01:49] | All my mother wants is for me to be happily married | 我妈唯一的心愿就是我有一段 |
| [01:51] | like my father and her. | 她跟我爸一样的美满姻缘 |
| [01:53] | All my mother wants is a cure for hep-c. | 我妈唯一的心愿就是能治愈丙型肝炎 |
| [01:59] | Look, here she is. | 我发了她的照片 |
| [02:01] | “Korean beauty June Kim, aka Sapphire”? | “韩国美女金君恩 艺名蓝宝石” |
| [02:05] | Han, you chose a prostitute? | 阿憨 你居然找了个妓女 |
| [02:09] | She’s not a prostitute. She has a website. | 她才不是妓女 只是有个人网站而已嘛 |
| [02:13] | Yeah, and I know a guy with business cards | 我还认识个男的 名片上写着 |
| [02:16] | whose “job” it is to relax your rectum. | 专业”菊花放松师”呢 |
| [02:21] | It says she’s an exotic dancer | 上面写她在曼哈顿的 |
| [02:22] | at this gentlemen’s club in Manhattan. | 一家男士夜总会里当脱衣舞女 |
| [02:24] | So just go there and hire the hooker | 那你就去那请这位妓女 |
| [02:26] | to pretend to be your girlfriend. | 来当你女朋友就好啦 |
| [02:28] | And there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say. | 我从没想过我会说出这句话 |
| [02:31] | I tried, but the bouncer told me to wait in the alley | 我试过了 但门卫让我去巷子里等妈妈来 |
| [02:33] | for my mother like all the other children. | 像其他没大人领着进酒吧小孩一样 |
| [02:41] | So I was hoping you guys could go for me. | 所以我想麻烦你们帮我跑一趟 |
| [02:43] | Han, we are not doing that. | 阿憨 我们不会帮你的 |
| [02:45] | Strip clubs, lies– that’s not my scene. | 脱衣酒吧 谎言 太掉我的价了 |
| [02:48] | That’s not your “scene”? | 太掉你的”价” |
| [02:51] | You have a scene? | 你还有个价吗 |
| [02:53] | What is your scene, Caroline? | 符合你价的情景是怎样啊 |
| [02:54] | I haven’t seen your scene. | 我好像还没见过啊 |
| [02:56] | In fact, you haven’t seen your scene in two years. | 你自己都两年没见过你符合你价的场景了 |
| [02:58] | Trust me, this is your scene now. | 听姐的 这情景就是你现在的价 |
| [03:03] | Oh, I understand. | 行 我明白了 |
| [03:05] | Just one question– | 我就问一件事 |
| [03:06] | Did I or did I not let you have | 我到底有没有 |
| [03:07] | the cupcake window rent-free? | 免你们小蛋糕窗口的租金呢 |
| [03:11] | Wow, Han. That’s a cheap shot. | 靠 阿憨 你这招够狠啊 |
| [03:13] | Low, bitchy– I respect that. | 又损又贱 敬佩敬佩 |
| [03:18] | We’ll go to the strip club, | 我们帮你去脱衣酒吧 |
| [03:19] | But if it’s nude, nude, nude, | 但如果里面都是 脱脱脱 |
| [03:20] | I am leaving, leaving, leaving. | 我绝对走走走 |
| [03:24] | That’s the first time Han’s ever been able | 这绝对是阿憨生平首次 |
| [03:26] | to hold something over someone’s head. | 把东西举过别人头上啊 |
| [03:26] | 这句话也有靠亏欠感与罪恶感 让别人帮你忙的意思 | |
| [03:37] | Sapphire will be right with you, ladies. | 姑娘们 蓝宝石马上就来 |
| [03:39] | Thank you, my good man. | 谢谢了 老大哥 |
| [03:40] | Give me a 20 from Han. | 拿张阿憨给的20块给我 |
| [03:42] | You gotta tip at these places or they’ll murder you. | 这里绝对得给小费 不然会被人砍死的 |
| [03:46] | Thanks, doll. | 谢了 美女 |
| [03:47] | You’se twos can have a seat on that couch. | 你们两位可以坐在沙发上稍待片刻 |
| [03:50] | Oh, no. No, Thank you. | 不 不用了 谢谢 |
| [03:54] | I’m not catching– | 我今天… |
| [03:59] | not catching “Sypha-gonna-titus” today. | 可不想染上”梅 淋 肝”… |
| [04:07] | Well, if a whore’s bath is appropriate anywhere, | 全世界最适合洗”妓女澡”的地方 |
| [04:07] | 妓女澡 在客人与客人之间清理腋下与胯下的简单清洁 | |
| [04:10] | it’s here. | 就是这里了吧 |
| [04:12] | Max, please be professional when she comes in. | 麦克斯 人家进来后 请以专业眼光看待 |
| [04:14] | No sexual comments. | 不许乱开黄腔 |
| [04:16] | Considering she’s used to walking in on dudes | 凭她每天一进来就得面对 |
| [04:18] | who have their junk in their hand like a sad present, | 手上握着鸡鸡 好像那是礼物似的男人 |
| [04:22] | I am sure I can manage to not offend her. | 我肯定不会做出让她不爽的事 |
| [04:25] | I’m just saying that despite where we are, let’s remember, | 我的意思是 要记得无论工作场地为何 |
| [04:28] | she’s a business woman like us. | 她与我们一样都是商场英雌 |
| [04:34] | The chairman of the board is here. | 董事会主席已经到位 |
| [04:38] | Hi, ladies. You ready for a good time? | 女士们 准备好要爽一把了吗 |
| [04:40] | Been waitin’ my whole life. | 等一辈子了 |
| [04:42] | Hello. It’s a pleasure to meet you. | 你好 很高兴见到你 |
| [04:43] | I’m Caroline Channing, | 我是卡洛琳・钱宁 |
| [04:44] | and this is my colleague, Max Black. | 她是我的同事 麦克斯・布莱克 |
| [04:50] | Yo, how’s this gonna work? I don’t do two at a time. | 所以今天怎么搞 我不能一次服务两人 |
| [04:52] | So who wants to watch, who wants to ride? | 你们俩谁想看 谁想”骑” |
| [04:55] | Oh, right. | 这样吗 |
| [04:56] | Neither of us will be riding, per se. | 基本上我们两个都不”骑” |
| [04:58] | Hold your roll, girl. | 妹儿 话先别说太早 |
| [04:59] | We’re spending a lot of Han’s money here. | 咱们砸了阿憨不少钱进来的呢 |
| [05:03] | If I want a ride, I’m getting a ride. | 姐姐若是想要骑 就得骑 |
| [05:06] | Um, is it June or Sapphire? | 该称呼你君恩还是蓝宝石呢 |
| [05:07] | You can call me Paul if you pay me. | 只要你给钱 叫我保罗都行 |
| [05:11] | June, we’re not here for a dance | 君恩 我们不是来看大腿舞 |
| [05:14] | or any of the other things you do that I don’t judge you for | 或来享受你其他我完全没意见的服务 |
| [05:16] | because I’m very open-minded. | 我思想很前卫哦 |
| [05:17] | I’ve been to Amsterdam. | 我去过阿姆斯特丹红灯区 |
| [05:20] | I’m on camera so I gotta dance for someone | 这里有监视器在看 我必须得跳舞 |
| [05:22] | or my bosses will fire me. | 不然我老板会炒了我 |
| [05:24] | And then it’s back to waiting tables. | 然后就得回到女服务员生活 |
| [05:25] | told myself I’d never sink that low again. | 我答应过自己不会再堕落到那地步 |
| [05:30] | Yeah, we say that every day when we get dressed for work. | 我们每天换上制服前也这么对自己说 |
| [05:33] | Okay, sit. Let’s do this. | 坐下 我们开始吧 |
| [05:35] | It’s fine. I think I got all the stains. | 没事 我应该都先擦干净了 |
| [05:41] | 黑光灯能照出各种”体液”痕迹 | |
| [05:55] | It’s official! We’ve paid Han back. | 我们现在正式还清欠阿憨的人情了 |
| [05:58] | Um, could you turn the other lights on? | 能麻烦你换另一种灯光吗 |
| [06:01] | She’s allergic to the truth. | 她对事实过敏 |
| [06:06] | So, June, here’s the thing. We have this boss. | 君恩 是这样的 我们的老板… |
| [06:08] | Yeah, girl, work that. | 小妞 使劲接着跳 |
| [06:12] | I’m being encouraging, businesswoman to businesswoman. | 我是在给她鼓励 职场女性互相勉励啊 |
| [06:16] | Anyway, his name is Han Lee, and see, | 言归正传 他叫李憨 |
| [06:18] | his mother is coming to visit. | 他母亲要来探望他 |
| [06:21] | Oh, nice move there. | 这招棒啊 |
| [06:23] | Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I wasn’t encouraging. | 不不不不 我不是激励你过来 |
| [06:25] | Just commenting. | 纯评论而已 |
| [06:27] | Oh, peek-a-boo, there’s your head. | 哎哟妈呀 你的头出现了 |
| [06:30] | Anyway, he needs a girlfriend, | 总之他妈希望他找个女朋友 |
| [06:32] | so he sent his mother pictures of you | 所以他就发了你照片给他妈 |
| [06:33] | and said you were his girlfriend. | 然后说你是他女朋友 |
| [06:35] | I think it’s her turn. | 轮到她了吧 |
| [06:39] | Oh, uh– the gist is, | 今天来目的就是 |
| [06:41] | he’s willing to pay you to pretend to be his girlfriend. | 他愿意付你钱 请你假扮他女朋友 |
| [06:43] | And I’m willing to pay you to show me | 我也愿意付你钱 请你教我 |
| [06:45] | how to do that with my hips. | 怎么用我的丰臀使出这招 |
| [06:48] | Ooh, you would make a great stripper. | 你绝对能当个好脱衣舞娘啊 |
| [06:50] | I know, I just have a fear of success thing. | 我知道 我只是害怕成功 |
| [06:55] | Can we turn the music off? | 我们能先关上音乐吗 |
| [06:56] | ‘Cause I’m getting disoriented | 我开始有点晕头转向了 |
| [06:59] | and, in all honesty, a little turned on. | 而且老实说 还有点性奋 |
| [07:03] | And I cannot be a latent bisexual | 但我现在事情已经够多 |
| [07:04] | with everything else already on my plate. | 实在不是个变疑似双性恋的好时机 |
| [07:08] | How much? | 你们出多少钱 |
| [07:09] | Whatever your rate is for sex, | 我们付你跟人上床的费用 |
| [07:10] | but you won’t even have to have sex. | 但你都不用出卖身体 |
| [07:12] | At the most, just kissing. | 顶多就是亲亲小嘴 |
| [07:13] | – Kissing is $500. – I love you. | -亲嘴要收费五百 -我爱你 |
| [07:15] | Okay. I can give him the “girlfriend experience” package. | 我可以给他来个女友体验套餐 |
| [07:18] | He has no girlfriend, no experience, and no package, | 他没女友 没经验[体验] 更没大雕[套餐] |
| [07:21] | so that sounds perfect. | 这真是太适合了 |
| [07:27] | Here, Earl, when my mother comes in, | 拿去 厄尔 等我妈进来 |
| [07:28] | pretend you are reading this. | 你就假装在读这个 |
| [07:30] | Ooh, the Bible. | 传说中的圣经啊 |
| [07:35] | You know, I remember when this first came out. | 我还记得这书刚上市那会呢 |
| [07:43] | Didn’t think it would be a hit. | 压根没料到会变得这么火 |
| [07:47] | Earl, we’re talking about our lord, Jesus Christ! | 我的老天 厄尔别拿我们的主开玩笑 |
| [07:52] | So, no sign of mama-say-mama-sah-ma-mama-Han? | 还没有”妈妈 妈妈大人 妈妈憨”的影子吗 |
| [07:52] | 源自于迈克・杰克逊的歌曲《Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’》 曲中歌词”Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa”音似妈妈 | |
| [07:56] | I don’t know. I don’t know what she looks like. | 不知道 我不知道她长什么样 |
| [08:01] | She’s here. | 她来了 |
| [08:04] | ?? | 妈妈 |
| [08:05] | Han! | 阿憨 |
| [08:11] | I can’t tell if she’s a smaller him | 我不知道憨妈是缩小版阿憨 |
| [08:13] | or if he’s a smaller her. | 还是阿憨是年轻版憨妈 |
| [08:16] | ?? ???? ?? ??? | 妈妈 你来了 我好高兴啊 |
| [08:18] | ?? ? Williamsburg diner ?? | 这里是威廉斯堡餐厅 |
| [08:21] | ?. ???. | 谢谢 |
| [08:23] | ??? ?? ?? ?? ???. | 这食堂比想象中还大啊 |
| [08:28] | You must be Han’s mother. | 您一定是阿憨的妈妈 |
| [08:31] | I’m Earl. | 我是厄尔 |
| [08:32] | I was just reading the Bible, | 我刚刚还在读圣经呢 |
| [08:37] | ’cause when am I not? | 因为我无时无刻都在读啊 |
| [08:40] | Mother, this is Caroline. | 母亲大人 这位是卡洛琳 |
| [08:41] | ?????. | 您好 |
| [08:42] | ???? ??? ??? ????. | 欢迎来纽约 |
| [08:46] | Hay-yo! | 嘿哟 |
| [08:50] | Caroline, I didn’t know you spoke Korean. | 卡洛琳 我都不知道你会说韩语 |
| [08:52] | I took it as an elective after I mastered Japanese. | 在我彻底掌握日语后 学了韩语当选修 |
| [08:55] | I had a hunch Asia was gonna take over the world. | 当年有个预感 有天亚洲会一统世界 |
| [08:56] | And congratulations, right on track. | 恭喜恭喜 我没猜错 |
| [09:01] | Caroline, your Korean is very good. | 卡洛琳 你的韩语说得很好 |
| [09:04] | And this is Max. | 这位是麦克斯 |
| [09:06] | Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lee. | 幸会幸会 李女士 |
| [09:14] | What does that face mean in Korean? | 那表情在韩语里代表啥意思 |
| [09:16] | It means zip up your top. | 表示你该把上衣拉链拉上 |
| [09:20] | Here, mother, sit. You must be hungry. | 来 母亲 请坐 您一定饿了 |
| [09:22] | I’ll get you a menu. | 我去给你拿菜单 |
| [09:26] | That’s weird. | 奇了怪了 |
| [09:27] | These usually bring joy to the people. | 这对宝贝从来都是给人们带来欢乐啊 |
| [09:32] | Han Lee, where is your girlfriend? | 李憨 你的女朋友呢 |
| [09:34] | You’ll meet her at dinner tomorrow. | 明晚吃饭就能见到了 |
| [09:36] | She wanted to be here, | 她也想来 |
| [09:37] | but with church and all her work in brain surgery, | 但她要去教会 还要帮人做脑部手术 |
| [09:39] | she’s very busy. | 她实在抽不开身 |
| [09:43] | And I thought it was unrealistic | 在你说你的女友 |
| [09:45] | when you had a girlfriend that didn’t need an air pump. | 不是”充气的”时我就觉得假 没想到你还… |
| [09:49] | Han, what are you thinking? | 阿憨 你想什么呢 |
| [09:50] | How are you ever going to pull this off? | 你要怎么去圆这个谎 |
| [09:52] | With the help of my two best friends? | 靠我两位死党的大力帮忙啊 |
| [09:55] | Oh, good. Who are they? | 那挺好啊 他们是谁 |
| [09:59] | Please, have June come to your apartment | 拜托了 约君恩去你们家 |
| [10:01] | and we can brief her. | 我们先跟她对台词[快] |
| [10:02] | Well, if it’s with you, it’s gonna be brief. | 跟你”一起” 肯定”快”啊 |
| [10:06] | – Remember, you owe me. – No, Han. | -别忘了 你们欠我的 -才不是 阿憨 |
| [10:08] | At that club, I saw a pregnant wall. | 在酒吧 我看见一面感觉会怀孕的墙 |
| [10:10] | So… | 所以… |
| [10:16] | I think we’re even. | 人情债已经两清了 |
| [10:26] | If I’m here to meet June, why am I blindfolded? | 我是来见君恩的 为什么要蒙我眼睛 |
| [10:29] | So you can never find your way back to our apartment again. | 这样你就不会知道我们到底住哪儿 |
| [10:33] | But I have your address on your work forms. | 但工作表上有填你们的住址啊 |
| [10:36] | No, you don’t. | 会填这里才怪 |
| [10:39] | Max, I think he can take it off now. | 麦克斯 我觉得可以把眼罩摘下了 |
| [10:41] | It’s been an hour, | 都蒙了一个小时了 |
| [10:42] | and we spun him around three times. | 而且我们还带他绕了三圈 |
| [10:46] | Well, someone’s been to a flea market. | 看来我是到跳蚤市场了 |
| [10:50] | And it smells like pot in here. | 这里闻起来有一股大麻味 |
| [10:53] | So I smoked up a little before work. I got to. | 人家上班前抽了一点而已啦 没办法 |
| [10:55] | My boss is a real butt munch. | 谁让我老板是个烦人精 |
| [10:59] | Okay, our call girl is here. | 我们的应召女郎到啦 |
| [11:01] | Another sentence I never thought I’d say. | 我也从未想过我会说这句话 |
| [11:04] | I look like I’ve had a call girl before, right? | 我看起来像打电话叫过小姐的人 对吧 |
| [11:08] | Han, you don’t look like you’ve called a girl before. | 阿憨 你看起来就像从没给女人打电话的人 |
| [11:12] | I need to calm down. | 我得平静下来 |
| [11:13] | Do you have any chamomile tea? | 你这有甘菊茶吗 |
| [11:16] | No, because I’m not a divorced woman | 没有 我又不是那种在秋风中 |
| [11:18] | on a balcony in the fall. | 呆坐在阳台的离异妇女 |
| [11:21] | But I do have something that will help you relax. | 但我的确有东西能帮你放松 |
| [11:23] | Ooh, you mean– | 你是说[大麻] |
| [11:26] | Yes, I’m gonna lull you to sleep with a tiny, invisible whistle. | 是的 我要用一个看不见的小口哨哄你入睡 |
| [11:35] | So, June, are you working your way through | 君恩 你干这行是为了要赚学费 |
| [11:37] | graduate school or something? | 还是有难言之隐 |
| [11:38] | No, I like getting paid for sex. | 都不是 我喜欢做爱有钱赚 |
| [11:41] | I mean, what’s a handy every now and then if it pays | 你不觉得时不时就有钱交我那套 |
| [11:43] | the mortgage on my Parkview Terrace apartment, right? | 全景阳台豪华公寓的按揭 不是很方便吗 |
| [11:47] | Life is so funny sometimes. | 生活有时真的很有意思 |
| [11:50] | Just when you think you’re better than someone, | 正当你窃喜自己比别人好时 |
| [11:52] | you’re not. | 却惊觉其实不然 |
| [12:01] | Here we are, all relaxed. | 我们好了 整个人都放松了 |
| [12:03] | And that was wild, | 刚才真是疯狂 |
| [12:04] | like getting your hamster stoned. | 感觉就像小仓鼠抽大麻抽嗨了 |
| [12:08] | Okay, June, this has all the details | 君恩 这些是阿憨告诉他妈妈 |
| [12:10] | that Han sent his mom about you. | 有关你的所有细节 |
| [12:13] | You told your mom I’m a Harvard-educated Christian doctor | 你告诉你妈我是一个哈佛毕业的基督徒医生 |
| [12:16] | and also a renowned classical pianist? | 还是一个有名的古典乐钢琴家 |
| [12:18] | Yes, we met at church and are crazy in love, | 对 我们在教堂相遇 然后疯狂爱上对方 |
| [12:21] | but we’re waiting till marriage. | 但我们都遵守戒律 不结婚不上床 |
| [12:23] | Oh, well, the virgin experience is 1,000. | 好吧 处女服务要一千 |
| [12:27] | Will you take 800? | 八百行吗 |
| [12:29] | – Max! – What? | -麦克斯 -干嘛 |
| [12:31] | I was unconscious when I lost mine. | 我失身的时候不省人事 |
| [12:32] | And I want to see what it’s like. | 我也想见识一下是怎样 |
| [12:36] | Oh, I hope that’s pizza. | 希望是披萨来了 |
| [12:37] | ’cause I could go to third base | 因为现在我够胆 |
| [12:39] | on some crazy bread right now. | 跟面包团[胸部]来个亲密接触 |
| [12:42] | No! It’s Sophie. | 不 是苏菲啦 |
| [12:44] | I asked her to bring down some crosses | 我让她带几条十字项链给君恩 |
| [12:45] | for June to wear when she meets your mom. | 好让她见你妈妈时戴上 |
| [12:47] | What? Sophie knows I hired a prostitute | 什么 苏菲也知道我请妓女 |
| [12:49] | to be my girlfriend? | 来当我的女友吗 |
| [12:51] | No, I didn’t tell her anything. | 没有啦 我什么都没说 |
| [12:52] | But this will be a good test to see | 但这是一个测试的好机会 |
| [12:53] | if you two pass as a couple. | 看看别人会不会觉得你们是一对 |
| [12:55] | Hey, what’s Han doing with that hooker? | 阿憨跟那个妓女坐在一起干嘛 |
| [12:59] | Sophie, this is June. | 苏菲 这位是君恩 |
| [13:00] | We hired her to pretend to be Han’s girlfriend | 阿憨的妈妈来了 所以我们请她 |
| [13:02] | while his mom’s in town. | 来假扮阿憨的女朋友 |
| [13:07] | Oh, wait, so his mom | 慢着 所以他妈妈 |
| [13:10] | is supposed to believe that | 会真的相信 |
| [13:11] | their parts match up somehow | 他们的某部位”合”上了 |
| [13:14] | and that’s a fun thing for her? | 而且她还感觉很爽吗 |
| [13:20] | Oh. L-O-L. | 笑死姐了 |
| [13:23] | Oh, this is one of those things | 这事就属于那种 |
| [13:24] | that you think about later and you laugh. | 过了一会想起来 还是会忍俊不禁的类型 |
| [13:29] | Look, look, Caroline, look. | 对了 卡洛琳 瞧 |
| [13:31] | I brought you your crosses. | 我把十字项链拿来了 |
| [13:35] | Sophie, do you have anything smaller? | 苏菲 你就没有小点的吗 |
| [13:36] | It’s a date, not an exorcism. | 这是约会 不是搞驱魔 |
| [13:39] | Oh, well, you gotta say that. | 好吧 谁让你不早点说 |
| [13:42] | All right, I’ll be right back. | 好吧 我马上回来 |
| [13:46] | You see, I’m thinking about it later and I’m L-O-L’ing. | 瞧 过了一会 我想起来还是笑死姐了 |
| [13:53] | Well, I gotta go. I got this. | 我得走了 这事妥了 |
| [13:55] | But that’s a lot of material. | 但这材料有很多呢 |
| [13:56] | You don’t want to stay and cram it? | 你不打算留下来 死记硬背一下吗 |
| [13:58] | How much for that? | 这又要多少钱 |
| [14:00] | No, it’s cool. I can fake it. | 不要钱 没关系 我超会装的 |
| [14:02] | You’re sure you can fake it? | 你确定你可以吗 |
| [14:04] | Can I fake it? | 那你们来评评看 |
| [14:05] | Oh, God. Oh, God. | 天啊 天啊 |
| [14:08] | Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! | 好爽 好爽 爽死了 |
| [14:13] | She’s sure. | 装得一脸好高潮啊 |
| [14:30] | I wonder why Han and his girlfriend are late? | 怎么阿憨跟他女朋友还不来 |
| [14:33] | Maybe something came up | 或许临时有事 |
| [14:34] | and she had to take care of it. | 他女朋友得处理一下 |
| [14:36] | That’s actually probably exactly what happened. | 其实 可能 就是这样 |
| [14:40] | I hope my hair looks all right. | 希望我的头发看起来还行 |
| [14:42] | I’m wearing it the other way. | 因为我今天把假发反过来戴 |
| [14:46] | It looks pretty. | 看起来很漂亮 |
| [14:48] | Yes. Very pretty. | 是啊 完全看不出来 |
| [14:54] | I am just so excited that my Han | 我的小憨憨终于找到了 |
| [14:56] | finally found the perfect girlfriend. | 完美的另一半 我好兴奋 |
| [14:59] | Oh, you know, his June is a brilliant brain surgeon. | 他的君恩是一位优秀的脑外科医生 |
| [15:03] | Well, she certainly knows a lot about head. | 她的确非常了解各种”头”部 |
| [15:09] | And she also goes to church every Sunday. | 她每个周日都会去教堂 |
| [15:11] | Yep, that girl is always on her knees. | 是啊 她总是”跪在地上”[口交] |
| [15:18] | And she is a classical pianist. | 她还是位古典乐钢琴家[阴茎玩家] |
| [15:22] | She is making this too easy. | 她这些话真是槽点满满 |
| [15:26] | Oh, there they are. | 他们来了 |
| [15:27] | Han! Han! | 阿憨 阿憨 |
| [15:30] | And girlfriend of Han. | 还有阿憨的女朋友 |
| [15:33] | Mother, may I present June? | 母亲大人 这位是君恩 |
| [15:36] | June, this is my mother, Su-min Lee. | 君恩 这是我妈 李素敏 |
| [15:38] | Please, call me Su-min Lee. | 你就叫我李素敏行啦 |
| [15:43] | Which means, so mean to me. | “素敏”的谐音就是态度差 |
| [15:49] | It’s a pleasure to meet you. | 很高兴见到你 |
| [15:51] | I’ve heard such a great deal about you. | 一直以来 久仰大名 |
| [15:54] | Oh, and Han has told me how you two met. | 阿憨也跟我说了你们相遇的经过 |
| [15:58] | What a beautiful story. | 真是个美丽的故事 |
| [16:00] | Oh, yes. | 没错 |
| [16:01] | That was beautiful when we met at… | 的确很美 我们是在 |
| [16:05] | Upstairs on the roof– | 楼上 屋顶 |
| [16:07] | Church! We met in church. | 是教堂 我们在教堂相遇的 |
| [16:08] | Upstairs on the roof of church. | 教堂楼上的屋顶 |
| [16:10] | We wanted to be closer to God. | 我们想离上帝更近一点 |
| [16:12] | We are both so holy! | 我们俩都是虔诚的信徒 |
| [16:16] | Is it hot in here? Or is it just the situation? | 这里是不是很热啊 还是因为现在这情况 |
| [16:21] | Oh, look, the appetizers Mrs. Lee | 瞧 李女士花钱点的 |
| [16:23] | is paying for are here. | 开胃菜上桌啦 |
| [16:24] | Before we start on the appetizers, | 在我们开始吃开胃菜前 |
| [16:27] | June, please pray. | 金恩 要先祷告 |
| [16:30] | I don’t know any prayers. | 我不懂祷告时要说什么 |
| [16:31] | No, no, I’ll do it, mother. | 不用 我来吧 母亲大人 |
| [16:32] | But first please, can I get a Moscow mule? | 但首先 我能来杯莫斯科骡子鸡尾酒吗 |
| [16:38] | Go, June. Please, pray. | 来嘛 金恩 快祷告 |
| [16:41] | Oh, God. | 上帝啊[爽啊] |
| [16:44] | Oh, God. Oh, God. | 上帝啊 上帝啊 |
| [16:47] | Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! | 上帝啊 上帝啊 上帝啊 |
| [16:51] | And amen! | 阿门 |
| [16:59] | Oh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [17:01] | I-I don’t know that one. | 我还不知道有这种呢 |
| [17:04] | Hey. I am starving. | 我快饿死了 |
| [17:11] | That’s quality. | 真是天赋异禀 |
| [17:16] | Such a good appetite. You ate the whole thing. | 你胃口真好 一整根直接吞下去了[深喉口交] |
| [17:20] | Didn’t even chew. | 都不用牙 |
| [17:29] | June, the piano is free. | 君恩 现在没人弹钢琴了 |
| [17:31] | Oh, you must play something for us. | 你来为我们弹奏一曲吧 |
| [17:33] | No, she can’t play. | 不 她不能弹 |
| [17:34] | Yeah, but you told me that she was– | 但你跟我说她能啊 |
| [17:35] | I mean, now. | 我是说现在 |
| [17:36] | I mean, she can’t play the piano now. | 她总不能现在跑去弹钢琴吧 |
| [17:38] | Look, look, Mrs. Lee. | 瞧 李女士 |
| [17:40] | The chrysler building. | 快看克莱斯勒大厦 |
| [17:41] | It has the word “Chris” in it. | 上面有”克莱斯”[耶稣]几个字呢 |
| [17:44] | Hey, Han, you dropped your knife. | 阿憨 你的餐刀掉了 |
| [17:46] | You better calm down. You’re gonna blow it. | 你最好冷静一点 不然会穿帮的 |
| [17:47] | You can’t afford to blow it. | 穿帮的[口交]代价你可付不起 |
| [17:48] | You can’t even afford to kiss it. | 你连接吻的钱都付不起 |
| [17:51] | I’m getting tense all over again. | 我又开始紧张了 |
| [17:52] | Help a brother out. | 快帮兄弟一把 |
| [17:56] | What, you think I just carry that stuff around with me | 你觉得我会把那玩意放在我手包里 |
| [17:58] | in my purse in an Altoids container | 装在一个外面贴有独角兽贴纸的 |
| [18:00] | with a lisa frank unicorn sticker on it? | 薄荷糖盒子里 随身带着吗 |
| [18:06] | Max, what is going to happen? | 麦克斯 接下来该怎么办 |
| [18:08] | I’ve got a more pressing question– | 我有一个更想知道的问题 |
| [18:10] | How does someone with a mouth so small | 一个人的嘴巴这么小 |
| [18:12] | get a joint so wet? | 怎么会把烟卷弄这么湿呢 |
| [18:14] | When June cannot play the piano, | 一旦知道君恩不会弹钢琴 |
| [18:15] | mother will discover my lie. | 我妈就会发现我在撒谎 |
| [18:17] | It will be a big, big disappointment. | 她肯定会非常非常失望 |
| [18:20] | I am the star of my family. | 我可是我们家的荣耀啊 |
| [18:22] | So, if your family were the Jacksons, | 也就是说如果你们家是杰克逊家族的话 |
| [18:24] | You’d be Michael? | 那你就是迈克・杰克逊吗 |
| [18:25] | ’cause I see you more as a Tito. | 我觉得你的身形更像提托 |
| [18:25] | 迈克・杰克逊的二哥 | |
| [18:27] | Actually, petite-o. | 老实说 应该是娇小版的 |
| [18:30] | Han’s mom is right behind me. | 阿憨的妈妈就跟在我后面 |
| [18:32] | She saw you two come in here. | 她看见你们俩进来了 |
| [18:33] | I tried to stop her, | 我试图阻止过她 |
| [18:34] | but she has strength, and it is all core. | 但她力气好大 动力十足啊 |
| [18:36] | Han, hide. | 阿憨 快躲起来 |
| [18:38] | I’m sweating through the price tag. | 我直冒冷汗 都把标价签给弄湿了 |
| [18:39] | And I have to return this. | 这身衣服我还得还回去呢 |
| [18:41] | If I’m going down, | 如果这次失败了 |
| [18:42] | I’m going down high. | 我也要爽着失败 |
| [18:44] | It’s 500 for kissing. | 光是接吻的价格是五百块 |
| [18:45] | You can’t afford to go down. | 你可付不起往”下”这份钱 |
| [18:48] | What is going on between you and my Han? | 你跟我的小憨憨是怎么回事 |
| [18:51] | You two have been whispering all night. | 你们俩整晚都在说悄悄话 |
| [18:53] | Poor June. | 可怜的君恩啊 |
| [18:55] | Poor June? | 可怜[穷]的君恩 |
| [18:56] | Poor June lives in a doorman building. | 可怜的君恩住的可是有保安的豪华公寓 |
| [18:58] | Mrs. Lee, I think you might have gotten | 李女士 我觉得你对麦克斯的印象 |
| [18:59] | the wrong impression of Max. | 可能有点偏差 |
| [19:01] | No, she is after my son | 不 她追我儿子 |
| [19:03] | for his big successful diner. | 就是想得到他那家成功的餐馆 |
| [19:05] | Oh, you have another son? | 你还有另一个儿子吗 |
| [19:09] | I am on to you. | 我看穿你了 |
| [19:11] | You are just a money-grubbing, | 你就是一个拜金爱钱 |
| [19:15] | Big-booby, dirty nasty girl. | 胸大淫荡的下流女 |
| [19:19] | Well, I wish I could say you were wrong. | 我也想说你说错了 但的确是啊 |
| [19:22] | Mother, stop! | 母亲大人 别说了 |
| [19:23] | You cannot talk to Max like that. | 你不能这么跟麦克斯说话 |
| [19:25] | She is a good girl, and a friend, and– | 她是个好女孩 好朋友 |
| [19:28] | Wha? | 什么 |
| [19:29] | Okay, yes, you caught me. | 好吧 被你逮个正着 |
| [19:31] | I smoke weed. | 我抽大麻 |
| [19:33] | Yes, I’m living the fast life | 没错 跟你担心的一样 |
| [19:34] | in New York city just as you feared. | 我在纽约过着快节奏的生活 |
| [19:36] | Wha? | 什么 |
| [19:39] | But I only toke up | 但我只有在 |
| [19:40] | when I am under a lot of pressure. | 压力很大的情况下才抽一口 |
| [19:42] | See, mother, | 母亲大人 |
| [19:44] | I don’t have a girlfriend. | 其实我没有女朋友 |
| [19:46] | June is a prostitute I paid to pretend, | 君恩是我花钱请来的妓女 |
| [19:48] | so you would think we were happy as you and father. | 好让你觉得我们跟你和爸爸一样幸福 |
| [19:52] | Give me that. | 把那玩意给我 |
| [19:56] | Wha? | 什么 |
| [19:59] | I too am under a lot of pressure, son. | 我的压力也很大 儿子 |
| [20:03] | The truth is your father and I are no longer together. | 其实我和你父亲已经分开了 |
| [20:07] | He had an affair with another woman | 他跟别的女人偷情 |
| [20:10] | who has big fake ones like her. | 那女的咪咪就跟她的一样假 |
| [20:13] | Max’s breasts are real, Mrs. Lee. | 麦克斯的咪咪是纯天然的哦 李女士 |
| [20:16] | God bless. | 上帝厚爱你啊 |
| [20:19] | Mine are too, in case you were wondering. | 如果你想知道的话 我的也是哦 |
| [20:21] | I wasn’t. | 我不想知道 |
| [20:25] | Son, are you disappointed in me? | 儿子 你对我失望吗 |
| [20:29] | Mother, are you disappointed in me? | 母亲大人 你对我失望吗 |
| [20:31] | No, Han. | 不 阿憨 |
| [20:32] | You are the star of our family and my heart. | 你是我们家族和我心里的荣耀 |
| [20:36] | I love you. | 我爱你 |
| [20:37] | Aw, me too. | 我也是 |
| [20:39] | Okay, that’s enough. | 好了 够了 |
| [20:42] | And another problem solved by weed. | 又一个用大麻解决的问题 |
| [20:45] | Hey, Han’s mom. It’s puff-puff-pass. | 阿憨的妈妈 是时候该换人了 |
| [21:01] | Am I super high | 是我嗨昏头了 |
| [21:02] | or is that whore playing the piano? | 还是那个妓女真的在弹钢琴啊 |